Wait a Second... You What?
"This is a stupid idea," Rainbow Dash muttered to Twilight Sparkle as they stepped into Trixie's wagon. "Trixie isn't anything but trouble."
"I know," Twilight replied with a sigh, "But she's changed. And she wouldn't dare try anything - she's outnumbered."
"I wouldn't put anything past her." Rainbow growled. Twilight ignored her.
"Thank you, Trixie, for letting us stay. The rain was really getting to us."
"MY MANE!" Rarity screamed, shaking her mane frantically. The waterdrops splattered all over Twilight, and she grunted frustratedly.
"Trixie can tell." The blue unicorn replied, narrowing her eyes. "What were you doing so far from your homes, anyway?"
"Well, long story short-" Twilight began, but Pinkie Pie butted in,
"I was blowing up some balloons and they floated away, so I chased after them! And my good friends decided to help me!" there was a huge grin
upon her face. "We went a very long way, but the super duper fantastic news is... I GOT THEM BACK!"
"Is this true?" Trixie asked.
"Yes," Twilight replied awkwardly. "Anyways... Oh my Celestia... is that a book?"
"Umm... yes." A blush tinged Trixie's cheeks, and she chuckled. Did Trixie see herself as some sort of nerd just because she read books?
"Don't worry, Trixie, there's nothing to be ashamed of!" Twilight smiled, swiftly flying over to where the book lay on the floor.
As she opened it, Trixie yelled. "Wait, don't touch that!"
"You'll have to excuse Twi," Applejack smiled. "She absolutely loves books."
"She won't absolutely love this one!" Trixie fretted.
Twilight began to read the first page:
So, Trixie's OTP is Twilight Sparkle and Flash Sentry. Yes, Trixie knows it's cheesy, but it's just as cheesy as Trixie herself. It's not Flash's fault that
he's underdeveloped. All Trixie can say is, good thing no pony knows that Pinkie Pie told me everything of what happened on the other side of the
portal - they would accuse Trixie of spying. Not even Trixie would go as low as that. Trixie's drawn so much terrible fanart for this ship, it makes
her head ache. That's why Trixie will never tell any pony she's a shipper.
Twilight froze at those words. She knew how red her face must be - Trixie knew about Flash? But... he was just some guy from Canterlot High! Why
would Pinkie even tell Trixie about him? "Get your dirty hooves off that book, Twilight!" Trixie snarled. She used her magic to get the book away
from Twilight. The alicorn considered letting Trixie get away with it, but curiosity got the better of her. It didn't take her long to overpower the mare, and boom she had the book again.
She anxiously turned the page, mentally begging: Trixie can't be one of them! They're a disgrace to all of Equestria!
The next page was an incredibly messy drawing, but Twilight recognised it - it was her, in the form she took whenever she went through the portal, kissing Flash. On the bottom, it was written:
Flashlight, by Trixie.
"Trixie-" Twilight sighed. "Why you? You know how Equestria treats the shippers - I didn't want you to be treated like trash, believe me. I understand that it's an addiction, and, maybe I can help you stop!"
Trixie shook her head sadly. "The embarrassed and humiliated Trixie has suffered too much. Read it, princess, Trixie won't stop you."
"Wait a moment, Twi," AJ exclaimed. "Did you just say shippers?"
The five ponies curled up into tiny, terrified balls.
"Yes," Twilight replied unhappily. "I did."
Pinkie's mane deflated. "Shippers aren't fun," she complained. "They treat us ponies like puppets."
"Not just ponies." Twilight replied unhappily after she turned to the next page, which depicted art of Spike and the Dragon Lord Ember holding hands with huge smiles on their faces:
Emberspike, Spikeember, whatever you want to call this. I think it's really cute, and it gives Rarity a break. By, Trixie.
Rarity sighed. "She has a good point. Maybe we should set them up sometime!" She let out an excited squeal.
"Rarity, I hope yer not planning on joining the dark side." AJ commented, placing a hoof on the unicorn's shoulder. Twilight silently thanked Princess Celestia that Spike had been sleeping when Pinkie lost her balloons.
"I wouldn't touch Rarity if I were you," Fluttershy spoke up. "I know what shippers are like. They'll take that as a hint."
"How would you know?" Rainbow spat.
Twilight turned the next page, and gasped. "Too late!"
The page was covered in writing, at the top, it said: Untitled, a Rarijack Story
The two mares exchanged a glance, and then Rarity blurted out. "Why us? I would never fall in love with someone like her?"
"Well... Trixie seems to think so!" Rainbow snorted.
"Rarity's not the only one," Twilight commented, and read underneath: "Contains unrequited Appledash.
"Dear Celestia!" Rainbow rolled her eyes frustratedly. "That Trixie has no life!"
All the while, Trixie was standing still. Twilight could see the sadness and misery in her eyes, and could almost read the unspoken message: 'Sorry.' Maybe Trixie had been born this way. That was what most of Equestria believed - once a shipper, always a shipper. And a shipper meant a failure. Twilight was ever so glad her friends didn't suffer from these problems.
"So, should we read this story?" Twilight asked. Despite everything, she was still rather interested. Perhaps Trixie had a secret talent for writing!
"I don't think so." AJ was trying not to blush. "Aaah, how about this one?" She pointed to a story titled: 'A Fluttercord Tale.'
Fluttershy flushed pinker than her mane. Twilight sighed. "Fluttershy, are you okay with this?"
"I-I am," she spoke more clearly. "It's just fanfiction."
"Sometimes you're too mature, Fluttershy." Rainbow commented. Fluttershy flinched, and the rainbow maned mare added awkwardly. "It's just that I'm hoping Trixie hasn't written... well... you know, a Flutterdash fanfiction!" Fluttershy nodded with acceptance, and Twilight begun to read aloud:
"Fluttershy was curled up in her home, Discord's warm body around her. She had invited the peculiar creature over, and he had decided to stay the night. Fluttershy had been a little uncomfortable, considering that he was technically a stallion, but she knew better than to send him away. The yellow pegasus gazed up at her sleeping friend, and blushed a little. She had fallen in love with Discord after reforming him, and all this time later, it still hadn't gone away. She knew her friends, as kind as they may be, would never understand her feelings for him. She had to keep this to herself, and suffer alone.
It was relaxing watching Discord sleep. He snored incredibly loudly, but she was fine with it. She loved Discord, nothing would ever change that. She still remembered when Discord had betrayed her and chosen Tirek over her. She had been heartbroken. The fact that he came back, had meant everything to her.
Discord's eyes opened, and Fluttershy pretended to be asleep. He would most likely see her as a creep if he knew she'd been watching him snooze. She heard him scuffling around, and then Discord spoke,
"Fluttershy... I know you're awake." Fluttershy sighed, getting to her hooves, only for him to settle her back down. "Couldn't you sleep?" He asked, softly.
"I don't know..." She was oh so embarrassed.
"You were looking at me." He replied.
"How did you know?"
Discord rolled his eyes. "I'm Discord. I know everything."
"A fair point."
There was a long silence, and then Discord spoke again. "Fluttershy?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever... umm... well..."
"Have I ever what?" Fluttershy had a feeling what might be coming, but still nearly fainted to hear it come out of Discord's mouth,
"Have you ever had sex?" He asked in a rush.
"Uh..." Fluttershy shuffled her hooves, then answered. "Well, once Twilight Sparkle and myself were really desperate so we kinda..."
"You're not in love with her, are you?" Discord replied worriedly.
"Oh, no, no, no!" Fluttershy squeaked. "She's my best friend, but nothing more. Why'd you ask?"
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to... y'know..."
"Umm... sure?" Fluttershy trembled.
Discord's jaw dropped, and by dropped, actually fell off of him. "Out of lust?" He asked.
"Out of pure love." Fluttershy promised, kissing him affectionately on the cheek. "But how does sex with, well, a species like you work?"
"Well, we have a lot of tricks," he purred quietly. "Do you want me to show you?"
"Yes..." Fluttershy whispered."
"Okay!" Twilight exclaimed. "What have I just read? This is what Trixie writes about? How... could she?" Meanwhile, Fluttershy looked as if she could've won a tomato impersonating competition.
Twilight flipped through the pages, more and more ships destroying her innocent mind: Pinkiedash, Twidash, Applepie, Lyrabon, Starburst... the list went on and on. Rarity was bawling. "Who would do this?"
"Trixie would." Twilight turned on the unicorn. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Trixie says we all go home," she spoke quietly. "Trixie needs to speak to Twilight - alone."
It wasn't long until Twilight and Trixie sat alone. Well, not completely alone. Spike was in the corner, preoccupied eating gems. "Trixie-" Twilight begun, but her 'friend' blurted out.
"Listen, princess! Trixie doesn't care what you're going to say - you can't change who she is! Those shippings are Trixie's life! You took everything else away from her!"
"Don't blame me!" Twilight gasped. "I didn't expect this to happen!"
Twilight's heart sunk as Spike turned his head, eyes bright and interested.
"Trixie is going to carry on shipping! The shippers have a community! They all have emotions, just like everybody else!"
"Trixie's right," Spike spoke up. "I... I'm a shipper, too."
"What?" Twilight shrieked. "You, a shipper? Okay Twilight, stay calm, stay calm, everything's going to be fine..."
"As for Princess Celestia," Trixie smiled smugly as Spike scampered to her side. "Trixie and Twilight are her OTP. Quite embarrassing, but shippers ship eachother together all the time."
"It doesn't sound so bad," Twilight admitted, still staring at Spike in shock as if he was an alien from another planet, as if he had spent a thousand years on the moon, "But what about those shipping wars? Don't you remember the war a few years back that nearly destroyed Equestria between Rarijack and Sparity? Don't you remember the countless lives lost in those battles? Don't you remember how APPLEJACK AND RARITY WERE FORCED TO KISS TO PROVE THOSE PATHETIC SHIPPERS' POINTS?"
"In defence, they both seemed to enjoy it." Trixie smirked. Beside her, Spike snorted with exasperation.
"Sparity is so underrated. It's such a tragic and totally not cliche love story! I've written so much fanfiction..."
"Trixie would silence it, 'creep' or your alicorn friend might disown you."
"Not in a million moons!" Twilight squeaked - but she couldn't help but wonder what might happen if the rest of Equestria found out Spike's long buried secret.
"Anyways," Trixie continued. "That was a one off war. Usually, they're much more verbal."
"Uh..." Twilight knew she was on the losing side of the fight now.
"Oh, Twilight," the blue unicorn smirked. "Trixie's written countless fanfics about you in particular!"
"I don't want to hear them," Twilight snapped. "Listen, Trixie, this is more than a hobby - it's a curse. I don't know what to do about it."
"So, Cadence is the princess of love," Trixie giggled. "But she's also the princess of shipping. As for Luna... well, she had to find something to do whilst she was on the moon. And y'know Derpy, that 'innocent' mail-pony? Well, she's one of the most eager shippers around!
"None of this makes sense..." Twilight whispered. "There are so many!"
"Indeed there are." Trixie looked beyond triumphant.
Suddenly there was a very quiet knock on the door. Twilight knew straightaway it must be Fluttershy. She exchanged a glance with Trixie and Spike, who both nodded. She opened the door. "Twilight," Fluttershy murmured. "I need to talk to you."
As Fluttershy entered, Trixie and Spike did something very unusual - they bowed their heads. "What in the name of Celestia?" Twilight exclaimed.
"So, Fluttershy, come to join us?" Spike asked. "You can show a little courage." Fluttershy nodded weakly.
"That's why I'm here," she turned to Twilight, tears in her eyes. "Twilight... I am the leader of all of the shippers, all over Equestria. You're a keen writer, but romantic fanfictions are my forte. I never asked to be leader. But I am. I'm not asking you to accept me for who I am... I know that's beyond almost anypony. But I can't hide myself anymore."
Twilight was lost for words - the Element of Kindness, shy, little Fluttershy, equalled shipping Lord. "Umm..." she croaked. "Come again?"
"I AM A SHIPPER!" Fluttershy suddenly screeched like a cat, almost giving Twilight a heart attack.
"I... get it!" Twilight whimpered.
"Ha, so you see?" Trixie smirked. "You're missing out on all of the fun! So many are shippers, and yet not you! You're the only Princess, in fact, who isn't a shipper!"
"Well... apart from Big Mac," Fluttershy smiled a little. "But I don't think that counts."
Spike gasped. "Was that a Fluttermac hint?" he exclaimed. "I must write it down!" Fluttershy rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and smiled a little more.
"Uh, so," Twilight spoke awkwardly, now feeling out of place. "What exactly do these shippers do... y'know, in their spare time?" She asked. Perhaps I could write a book on them!
"Spare time, for the shippers?" Trixie looked stunned. "Never! Shippers are either drawing fanart, writing fanfictions, or some of them..." she glanced at Fluttershy, smirking. The pegasus blushed. "Watch shipping well... umm... porn."
"Trixie," Fluttershy snorted. "Remember at the last shippers meeting? Well, I kinda stole your phone because I forgot mine... I needed a good fanfic to read. So I checked your browser history to see if you'd read any impressive ones yourself, and I found a load of porn instead."
"That wasn't Trixie!" Trixie squeaked. "That was her nonexistent brother!" Fluttershy giggled.
Twilight was shocked - these three seemed so content, so happy. Was this the secret life of shippers? Did they really deserve their bad reputation?
"Hey... Trixie?" Twilight asked. "Could I read one of your fanfics?"
"The Fluttercord you read earlier? You ought to carry on - you stopped at the juiciest part!"
Twilight exchanged a glance with Fluttershy, and rolled her eyes as she noticed that Spike was smirking. Silly dragon. "Hmm... I think I'll read a Spike and Ember fanfiction."
"What?" Spike blushed.
"I saw the way you were looking at her!" Twilight teased, giving him a gentle nudge. Spike sighed.
"Go ahead. Trixie is a great writer! Just like you, Twilight."
I really do love writing.
Twilight begun to read:
One Dragon Lord: Spike and Ember one shot
Spike was on his way to visit the new Dragon Lord, his friend, Ember. He had met her several weeks back along with Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, and had been eager to see her again. For starters, she had made him realise so much about himself during their quest, and he had helped her realise plenty, too. She had learned the power of friendship and all its worth, and was certainly a great ruler for dragon kind. But there was another reason - she was beautiful. Spike felt about Ember a similar way he had felt about Rarity all this time, only it was stronger, like fire. He knew that Rarity would never like him back, but perhaps he had a chance with Ember.
Later on in the story:
"Umm, Dragon Lord Ember, I'm so sorry!" Spike flushed bright red. He hadn't meant to fall on her like that.
"It's okay Spike, and there's no need to call me that. We know eachother well enough."
"Ha... yeah." All of the fighting dragons had stopped now, and were staring at the two of them.
"You try it, Sparkle!" Garble sneered. Spike felt rage. It was his dragon instincts kicking in. He didn't get off Ember, instead, he stared intensely into her eyes.
"You can get off of me now." Ember grunted, beginning to blush as well. Spike took a deep breath, praying to Princess Celestia Ember wouldn't turn out like Rarity.
"Well... what if I don't want to?" He attempted to speak seductively, but it didn't exactly work. The two of them silently stared, until Ember spoke.
"Well, that's funny. For a moment I thought you were trying to make a move on me!" Spike begun to sweat. He was going to be rejected.
"Uh... Ember... I... like you. I kinda started crushing on you when you became Dragon Lord, and after this battle, it's grown stronger. Umm... this is awkward." Ember sighed softly.
"So you weren't joking."
"I'm serious." Spike closed his eyes. If she said yes, it would be the greatest thing ever to happen to him.
"I wish it was a joke." Those words were so cold, they froze Spike's heart. He scampered away, a random dragon purposefully letting their tail drag to trip them up. As he left, he heard Garble speak.
"Ember... I'm sorry if I behaved like the bad guy. Sometimes you love the ones you appear to hate. I apologise for this battle - please go out with me."
"....I'd love to."
Twilight's jaw dropped. "That was an amazing battle scene, but then you broke Spike's heart! It's unfair! Spike and Ember are meant to be!"
"Heartbreak is one of Trixie's favourite themes, being one of the crueller unicorns out there. That Fluttercord story you were reading earlier? It ends with Fluttershy getting pregnant, and dying giving birth, leaving Discord to father their filly alone." Twilight flinched, but then spoke clearly.
"But you're actually a talented writer. I... respect everything you wrote."
Fluttershy and Spike smiled at eachother, and then Twilight whispered. "Trixie... we have a lot in common - powerful magic, writing talents, and I'll admit, I was shipping Spike and Ember back there. Let's go forth in peace, I join the shippers."
"Ha! Trixie knew she could make you see the light! The shippers have a new member!"
Six months later.
A war between the shippers and the rest of Equestria was about to start. Twilight was trembling. She knew the shippers would win. All of the princesses were on their side. But what could Twilight do? She couldn't fight any of her friends!
Beside her, Fluttershy was horrified, tears in her eyes. "This can't happen." She croaked.
"Trixie doesn't want to fight anypony, either. She may enjoy disagreements, but she never desired this."
Twilight turned around - Celestia was behind her. "Is there really no other way?" She asked. Celestia shook her head.
"Us shippers didn't even start the war in the first place. Unless we can show everypony the truth and the power of shipping, we will have to destroy them."
Twilight's perked up. "Then we have to try."
Aura glowed from her horn, and she cast the spell to make her voice louder. She then proceeded to boom:
"Citizens of Equestria! This war must not start! Blood will be lost, and over what? Us shippers are innocent! We found a place in the community, and we want to show you that we're just as honourable as anypony! We have plenty of meetings, eat a ton of food... it's all rather fun. And we believe in the power of friendship. Nopony needs to be harmed. You just need to stop. This battle doesn't need to happen. It's like that shipping war a few years back, and that was tragic." She turned and smiled a little at Trixie.
The ponies murmured amongst eachother, when Pinkie spoke up. "Do whatever you want to me... I believe in the shippers, too." To hear Pinkie's confession, everypony suddenly became much more... relaxed. They all glanced at eachother, looking a little sheepish.
"This is an immature subject to waste lives over," Twilight insisted. "So, please, stop."
However many years later...
Fluttershy was curled up with Discord. Their daughter, Screwball, smiled at them. What did you say about me dying, Trixie? "So that's how Equestria came to accept shippers! To be honest, it turned out most of us secretly did it as a hobby, anyway."
"I can't believe shipping used to be a bad thing! All the cool foals do it at school! And those shipping stories you read are so interesting!" Suddenly Rainbow Dash flew in and crashed into Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy! Wanna hang with me tomorrow?"
"I'd love to." Fluttershy beamed.
"Oh my Celestia I totally ship them!" Screwball grinned. Fluttershy rolled her eyes.
"You do that, sweetie. But I am married!"
"Who cares?" she smirked. "Just ship it!"
