Bellum tyranni sol et luna Benedictus

By ChAoS pOnY

Ignis et Ice eduxisti deosque et praeessent diei ac nocti et filias

“There can be no progress without head-on confrontation.” ― Christopher Hitchens, Love, Poverty, and War: Journeys and Essays

Nightmare Moon couldn't help but giggle as the 2 dozen guards in front of the doors fumbled with their weapons and shields as she started running straight at them, forming a war hammer with her magic and noting the dozen or so pegasi dropping from the roof to join them. " Pro honore ! Gloria ! Noctis !" She screamed as she slammed several of them out of her way and grabbed a tan pegasus with blue hair by the thoat and bull rushed the doors with him as her shield and smashing all mortals that dared to face the Bellum Magistra. Behind her she heard her warriors calling out " Noctis !" All the while her threstrals fighting like mad stallions to protect her Scootaloo. In her hands the pegasus fought and kicked every step of the way to the door
"Daemon Witch, may you suffer the sun's wrath, you vile creature, you..." He growled out at her.
"The word your looking for is Bitch, as in Evil Bitch Goddess who is pissed, hasn't had a drink in a 1,000 years, and if I wasn't about to kick my sister's ass would drag you off so you can fuck the living shit out of me as hard as possible for several week. But since we're at the door's..." She hissed before kicking the doors open and knocking back another dozen or so guards inside "After you!" she sang out as she threw him across the room into a wall. "Everyone but the threstrals stay out here. There will be more guards coming soon, but they won't dare to attack just yet with so many citizens inside inclueding my sister." she shouted out her orders before leaping over the guards and scattered the people inside before looked up at her sister's glaring face and yelled out in the Vox Divina Te, "DEAR LOVING SISTER! GUESS WHOSE BACK!" She could help but laugh as the two unicorn guards flanking her sister fell to their knees, clutching their ears in agony. In a more regular voice She said out loud, "You never could resist surrounding yourself with wimpy pretty boys." before letting her voice become sultry and wonton as she looked a tall red stallion with blonde hair, "Unlike me that prefers to share my bed with big, strong, rugged, real men."

"Ferox Stellam Luna!" Princess Celestia screamed at her, "Watch your language, there are foals here!"

"Your right Dear Sister." She hissed out at her with pure venom. "We wouldn't want the little ponies to hear anything bad." Turning she smiled wickedly at the cowering citizens. "We wouldn't want them to know how simple it is for Goddesses like us to help the blind see, the lame to walk, or even bring the terminally ill back from deaths door. We wouldn't want them to know that their crops are less than they use to be a thousand years ago because you are a prude who turned a fertility ritual and a festival of unbridled fornication into a celebration of your vanity. And above all we wouldn't want them to know about all of your dyledion gwaed and how many of those statues in the garden are those who tried to collect. How many Gods fell for that trick, only to have their people conquered or out right eradicated? What do they call you in other lands? Oh yes, The Tyrant Sun! And me, The Blessed Moon!"

"Let me go AJ! I'm going to shut her mouth because no one talks like that to the Princess." a cyan pegasus mare with a rainbow colored mane yelled as she struggled with an orange mare with a blonde mane who was trying to hold her back.

"Do you even know who I am? Didn't any of you pay attention to the prophesy?"Nightmare Moon demanded before looking at her sister, "Does my crown mean nothing to these foolish sheep you have turned our people into?"

"I do." a voice rang out, causing her to turn to a young lavander unicorn mare with a pink streaked indigo mane. "Your the Daemon Queen Nightmare Moon, who was imprisoned in the moon after you murdered Princess Celestia's younger sister, twisted pegasi into the daemonic threstrals, and tried to plunge the world into eternal night. And why are you laughing?" the young mare demanded as Nightmare Moon fell to her knees laughing. She then started to pound the floor as she laughed, causing the whole building to shake.

After a few seconds she stopped and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Thank you, I haven't laughed that hard in centuries. The very notion of eternal night is hilarious. You do realize that it is impossible to do on a sphere like the world. It would only work if the world was flat and the threstrals have been around for several hundred thousand years. The only way I could change a pegasus into a threstral is if they had threstral blood in them like that one over there." She said as she pointed to a butter colored pegasus mare with a pink mane trying to hide behind a white unicorn mare with an eligant purple mane. "And I would love to hear how I'm supposed to have killed myself since the only thing I really did was grow up and got banished to the moon for falling in love." She then turned to glare at her sister. "One little 'I do' and I would have been queen. You couldn't stand the fact that I would have been above you for once. I bet it burned you up that Sombra chose me over you and I would have loved to seen your face when he used his go to tartarus plan to phase shift the Crystal Empire into suspened animation and away from you after you ambushed me with the Alicorn Amulet. Tell me sister have you figured out the secret to bring the Crystal Empire back? No, how about the secret location to Atlantis, the home of the seaponies who hate you with a burning passion? How about Flutter Valley or have the Flutter Ponies and the Bumbles still not forgiven you for..."

"SILENCE!" Celestia roared in full Vox Divina Te, "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE ONE TRUE GODDESS! I HAVE LED MY LOYAL SUBJECTS INTO A GOLDEN AGE OF PEACE AND HARMONY! I HAVE IMPRISONED THE FALSE GODS THRU CUNNING AND WISDOM AND MY LOYAL SUBJECTS HAVE BROUGHT MY HOLY WORDS AND CIVILIZATION TO THE UNBELIEVERS. I ALONE AM FIT TO RULE OVER THIS WORLD AND YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER, BUT THE DAEMON QUEEN WHO WEARS HER BODY AS IF IT WAS YOUR OWN. THE ONLY REASON I DO NOT SLAY YOU IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BOUND HER SOUL AND LIFEFORCE TO YOU AND HOLD HER HOSTAGE."

"A FALSE PEACE FORCED UPON OTHERS IS JUST SLAVERY AND HARMONY IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR TYRANNY WHEN IT COMES AT THE END OF A SWORD, DEAR SISTER!" Nightmare Moon roared back. "IT IS ALL FINE AND WELL TO SPEAK OF GOLDEN AGES AND CIVILIZATION, BUT A STARVING MAN IN A DESERT WILL STILL STARVE NO MATTER HOW MUCH GOLD HE HAS AND A HOMELESS CHILD WILL STILL FREEZE IN AN ALLEY WAY AS YOUR LOYAL CIVILIZED SUBJECT WALK PAST BLINDED BY YOUR SUN'S GLORY." She snarled as Scootaloo floated behind her, her threstrals srronding her and protecting her as they hid her from view. Her power flowed around them and protected them from how powerful her sister's voice was.

"IF HE IS OF FAITH AND BELIEVES WHOLE HEARTEDLY IN ME HE SHALL NEED NO FOOD OR WATER FOR MY LIGHT ALONE WILL NURISH HIM. IF A CHILD FREEZES TO DEATH IN AN ALLEY WAY IT IS BECAUSE THEY TURNED THEIR BACK UPON THEIR FAMILY BONDS AND OBLIGATION AND SO TO WILL I WITH HOLD MY LIGHT'S WARMTH FROM THEM. BLESSED ARE THE FAITHFUL AND ACCURSED ARE THE SHUNNED" Celestia proclaimed to the cheering of her faithful subjects, but Nightmare Moon was already noticing those who were quiet and tended to be bit apart from the crowd. Time seemed to slow down as she took note of them as fast as she could.

There was an obvious family starting with a light brown stallion with a dark brown mane next to a grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane and hat that hid her eyes. With them were three children. The teenage unicorn filly was pink with violet mane was holding back a brave little piebald colt wearing a red bandana on his head and waving a wooden sword around and crying about saving Scootaloo from the Brigands. If he stayed that brave when he got older he would be the thing legends were made of. The last one was trying to hide behind the stallion and was a pale purple unicorn filly with a blonde mane. The stallion's eyes met her's and he gave her a nod and quick wink as he pulled an odd rod with a green gem at the end out of his brown jacket pocket.

There was also the elegent looking grey mare with a black mane holding a cello that looked like it had been re-enforced with a bit of metal. Next to her was a white unicorn mare with a messy blue mane and wearing purple sunglasses while leaning on an odd box on wheels. Next there was a light blue mare in a ridiculous purple magician's hat and cape, who was glaring at the lavander unicorn that had known who she was. Next to her was light green unicorn mare wearing a hoodie and a cream color mare with a two tone pink and purple mane wearing sunglasses and carrying a silver case. After that was yellow mare with orange hair glaring at the blonde maned mare holding back the rainbow maned one. Her was a purple mare with a pink mane and a lavander mare with a purple mane, both of whom were sneaking drinks froma flask they were sharing. Both of them were glaring at the big red stallion she had flirted with earlier and the butter colored pegasus mare she had called out on her threstral lineage.

Now that she had seen it she saw that her sister's peace was a powder keg and just needed a spark to set it off, and she knew just the spark she needed. "THEN PROVE TO YOUR FAITHFUL SUBJECTS THAT YOU ARE TRUELY THE ONE TRUE GODDESS AND MOVE MY MOON FROM IN FRONT OF YOUR SUN AND VANQUISH ME WITH THY HOLY LIGHT. FOR IF I AM TRUELY A DAEMON QUEEN, THEN I SHOULD BE NO MATCH FOR YOUR DIVINITY. OR PERHAPS YOU WISH TO FACE ME IN ONE ON ONE COMBAT AND HAVE THEM SING YOUR PRAISES THE WAY THEY USE TO SING OF HEROES OF OLD WHEN THEY WITNESS YOUR TRUE MIGHT." she called out with a smirk as she floated her threstrals to the side and released the still sleeping Scootaloo into one of their arms with a sleep spell to keep her out for a while.

She watched a brief nervous look pass over Celestia's face before she lept off the balcony and slammed her feet into the floor, cracking and shattering the stone tile under her feet. "I see your sweet tooth has caused you to put on a few hundred more pounds in the thousand years I've been gone." She luaghed as Celestia shook her feet to vainly try and get rid of broken tiles and seeing the heels were completely destroyed. "Here's a hint, open toed sandals with high heels may look impressive but make lousy footware for battle." she stage whispered which got several luaghs from the citizens around them.

"Shut it Luna." Celestia growled before swing at her. The next thing most of them knew Nightmare Moon was holding the fist in one hand and punching Celestia in the face several times before Celestia grabbed her around the waist with her free arm and went backwards, slamming Nightmare Moon face first into the floor. As they laid there for a moment Celestia said, "I think I remember why we hardly ever fought." With that she sat up and wiped blood from her nose and wiped it off on her white dress.

"Really," Nightmare Moon said before spitting out a tooth. "Might it have something to do with, barring ancient artifacts like the Elements or that Alicorn amulet you use to wear, nothing can hurt a God but another God?"

"Yeah, I haven't felt any pain in two or three centuries since I kicked Blitzschlag ass after he grabbed my... How did mom put it? feminine Endowments." Celestia said as she felt Luna sit up and lean back to back with her.

"I knew that Griffon God was sweet on you, but I didn't think he was suicidal enough to cop a feel." Nightmare Moon said before asking, "How's the nose?"

"Broken. How's the teeth?" Celestia asked before wrenching it back into place.

Nightmare Moon spat out a few more teeth. "Missing 4 or 5, but they're almost done growing back."

"Good because I think I just realize what you did."

"Besides getting reintroduced to how good you are at grappling. What was that move anyways?"

"Some people would call it a suplex. And you just made me bleed in a room full of people angry at each other, but held in check by their fear of a Wrathful Perfect Godess, in the middle of a counrty held in check by me and the perfect image that has held back a civil war for centuries. The only reason they haven't started fighting yet..."

"Is the shock of the moment hasn't really sunk in." Nightmare Moon finished for her as she looked around. "Think we can escape out the back door and find someplace to get drunk before it kicks in?"

"Too late." Celestia winced as the local carrot farmer tackled the local apple farmer and began welling on her before being thrown off. At that point everything went to tartarus as brawls broke out everywhere. Celestia started to raise her hand to warn Twilight Sparkle, but just dropped it as a show mare just walked up and punched her in the mouth. Then both of them fell to the floor in pain, the show mare with a busted hand and Twilight with a bloody mouth. "Well at least Pinkie hasn't escaped the gaurds with her party cannon yet... Never mind." Celestia said as she watched the pink party pony and DJ Pon3 finally saw each other across the room .
"Taste my Base Canon!!!"
"It's Party Time!"
Celestia watched in awe as the sound waves were canceled out by the high velocity cake and confetti. "Sister, is that pink mare using my design for a magic rail gun to launch bake goods as a weapon against that other mare armed with your design for the magical sonic partical beam cannon."

"Yes, a former student of mine memorized and copied a bunch of files from the archives several years ago and these things and worse have been popping up everywhere." Celestia said with a sigh. "Last month it was a well digging company accidently creating a new volcano when they tried to drill a new water well with one of your Helborer designs from one of the first Diamond Dogs Wars. No one died, but we lost the town of Appleoosa. It took us 150 years to hunt down every last weapon and plans for weapons from the Chaos War and lock them up and Sunset Shimmer undid all that work in a single night. The worst part is I don't even know how she got in, where she is now, or how much she got with that photograghic memory spell of her's. Hand her a book, a book's worth of blank pages, give her enough time just to barely glance at each page, and you have a perfect copy of that book. Then add in her Uncles Flim and Flam use to own a printing company that burned down a few days later and that heavily enchanted book bag they gave her one year and you have a recipe for disaster. I mean, I know they loved spoiling her rotten, but who gives a little girl a book bag that can carry 130 tons and still weigh as light as a feather on her first day of school. We can't even ask them about it since they died in the fire trying to drag a safe out of the fire."

"How much was in the safe?" Nightmare Moon ask as she watched the cello player smack the white unicorn with the eligent purple mane in the head with the cello.

"Not a single bit or gem, but a lot of stocks, bonds, and property titles worth about 45 million bits as well as the of blue prints for some of their inventions." Celestia told her as she watched the local school teacher and her sister the local bar tender tag team the big red member of the Apple family, problely over the bar tender's daughter, if the rumors were true about who the father. She looked around for the other supposed member of that little love triangle and saw the local animal caretaker trying to hide in a curtain next to the threstrals Luna had brought with her. "Nothing ground breaking except for the Super Cider Squeezy 4000, 4500, 5000, and 5500 deluxe that could only be powered with Alicorn magic. Prince Shinning Armor powered that one for the proof of concept and said it was good apple cider, but nothing as great as the Apple family cider. Last I heard they had been close to perfecting one powered by two unicorns, but the plans seemed to burn up in the fire along with what ever else they had been tinkering on at the time." She watched as the local post master, Ditzy Doo, and the local weather manager, Rainbow Dash, rolled past her on the floor biting, kicking, and hair pulling all the way into one of the refreshment tables. She caught a plate full of cupcakes and the punch bowl in her magic and brought them over to her and Luna. Luna caught a flask of something that had been dropped on the floor that turned out to be zap apple moonshine and they quickly spiked the punch as Celestia contiued. "Those two were always tinkering with something and had so many new inventions or improvement on something that I finally approved the patent office's request for a revolving door, which they reinvented. I never did have the heart to tell them how many of their invention were actual just lost technologies they were finally just rediscovering. Between us hiding the dangerous invention, the Windigos, Tirek, Grogar, Lavan, that first swarm of parasprites Star Swirl accidently created, and above all else Discord, I'm amazed how much of a civilization is left. And here we are eating cupcakes and drinking spiked punch as this brawl spills out into the street. By evening word will spread, riots will break out, and by morning a civil war." Getting up she looked at Luna and took the punch bowl laddle in hand scooped out some of the spiked punch for her self and let Luna have the rest. "Diem ac noctem ad bellum et pax et omnia bona quae sunt ad finem ."

"Sorores , et in acie simus inimicis , amicis licet maneat in cordibus nostris ." Nightmare Moon said before they both drank, then smashed the laddle and punch bowl on the ground, with a brief hug they turned and walked towards opposite doors, but Nightmare Moon puased at the front door and called out over her shoulder, 'Hey Tyrant Sun, first one in Tartarus buys the drinks."

"Just remember I like the top shelf stuff... Nightmare Moon." Celestia yelled back, using that absurd Title for her baby sister as the honorific it was meant to be. With that the Nightmare and the Tyrant to all enemies left, knowing soon their war would rock Tartarus to it's foundations and shake the very pillars of Elysian itself.

Author's Note

Diem ac noctem ad bellum et pax et omnia bona quae sunt ad finem .
To the Day and the Night, To War and to Peace, and to all good things that must come to an end.
Sorores , et in acie simus inimicis , amicis licet maneat in cordibus nostris .
To Sisters, thou we may be enemies upon the field of battle, may we remain friends within our hearts.

Don't worry, the next chapter will have ponies named by name and not discription or jobs. I did it to denote that Luna doesn't know any of them yet and that Celestia catalogs her subjects by place where they are from, then Jobs, titles, or family lines to keep people straight in her head. The bigger the impact you make with Celestia, the Quicker she remembers your name. That's why she knew Pinkie and DJ Pon3 so well, but had to think of job titles before names for Ditzy Doo and Rainbow Dash. Also she doesn't know that Derpy is Ditzy Doo's nickname or that she is the current world's muffin speed eating champion.

Luna thinks of herself as Nightmare Moon as a way to stay in character in front of others, but is somewhat different when not being the NIGHTMARE all enemies who threaten her people fear. Celestia rarely thinks of herself as Tyrant Sun and doesn't like being the TYRANT that breaks all of her people's enemies. In the past some countries surrender to Equstria when they heard that the NIGHTMARE and the TYRANT were preparing for war, even if they weren't the country they were going to war with.

Oh, and Pinkie was locked up for 'Welcome Wagon' related reasons involving 200 royal guards being sent to the hospital, operating a Magic Rail Gun without a permit, a fire hazzard that could be classified as a weapon of mass destruction, and violating the terms of her house arrest and a royal restraining order involving Princess Celestia's Birthday being on the day of the Summer Sun Celebration. But don't worry Celestia has only added another week to her house arrest and another 200 hours community service or 5 cakes, which ever comes first.

As for the Doctor, let's just say no Daleks interupted the celebration and one lucky foal got a cutie mark on a merry-go-round that looked an aweful lot like it had an upside down dalek weilded to it while the adults 'rough housed' inside.

Points time: 100 points if you said Twilight Sparkle was who would get punched in the mouth first.
20 points per pony you figured out from the discription of them.