I Am Writing This Heavily Inebriated. (Chapter 2)

"I am not sure what a 'Tronald Dump' is, Twilight, but I suggest you stop lying to me." Princess Celestia shook her head lowly in disappointment, as her student Twilight Sparkle and her five friends all tried to explain the events of the last chapter. Luna stood next to to the sun princess, eyes darting towards a purple dildo parading from out of her sisters saddlebag.

"Princess, you must believe us!" Rairity squealed in that awful mock English accent which made Fluttershy commit grievous bodily harm on Angel. First she sliced the ears off, followed by the legs and arms. She then covered his (her?) eyes with duct tape and renamed it 'Matt' before allowing the poor creature to scuttle away in agony. But good news for Rainbow Dash (who was a masochist), it died just before the stairs and became pornography for two royal guards. They released their 'magical fluids' onto the corpse and began committing acts which even I am afraid to describe. - joking. They brought it back to life with a spell and then played Soggy Biscuit with it as it wept as more fluids washed the disabled rabbit away like a tsunami.

"Donald Trump is going to send all of the Earth Ponies to Tartarus, and then erect a wall." Twilight finished, raising her voice more than he had meant to.

"He's pretty good at erecting things!" Pinkie giggled, touching herself in memory of Donald Trump and his sexy as fuck hair.

All of a sudden, the two royal guards dropped the the ground with a thud like a sack of shit would make, and several Stormtrooper's came rushing into Celestia's office, all of them with laser weapons aimed at her. Fluttershy whimpered and one of the troopers got fucking fed up with her one piece of character development and shot her in the face exactly twenty-eight times, as Applejack wept over her body, even though she wasn't dead.

"Why'd ya kill mah sex-ay Flutter's? She did nutin' to yall!" she wept, unaware of the yellow horse moving below her. She was trying to get up.

"Um.. Applejack, I'm fine." But stopped when Applejack forced her face into the ground and broke her nose.

"She was mah all, and yall took her away from me!" Applejack had obviously gone insane, and Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie all cried as the Stormtrooper's took a selfie as Applejack was vigorously smashing the head of the very much alive Fluttershy against the ground, spatters of blood squirting from her nose and mouth, as well as constant whimpering. Rainbow Dash just didn't care, she laughed at the situation and started mockingly screaming at Applejack that she was dead too, and AJ completely lost it, gripping her own head and spinning around in confusion as if on the Waltzers.

All the while, Celestia and Luna started to eat popcorn, amused at the unstable mindset of the Element of Honesty. "Honestly Luna, I want to engage in something which I forbid all those years ago. Something so dark and disturbing that even Tartarus isn't allowed to use it as punishment."

"What is that, dear sister?" Luna wondered, looking up at a flushed red face. The reply was not needed, as Celestia's godlike tongue slid into Luna's mouth, tasting every inch and corner of her own sister.

Twilight had begun to twitch as she headed past the Stormtrooper battalion alongside Rainbow and Pinkie. Applejack was excecuted by Celestia for being a total lunatic and Fluttershy was banished for causing mental instability to her. Rarity was shot and killed by the troopers (for real this time) and became a warm fuckable sock-puppet to be used by Lord Vader once they had returned to the Death Star.

Author's Note

Sorry, I don't even know what to think lol fu*k off bitching it is a joke and if you get offended by the thought of cartoon horses getting murdered and raped and turned into sock puppets then you genuinely have no life and i think you should just jump off a bridge and hang yourself.