Chapter 1: Earth To Equestria Remastered

“Today is the big day.” I said to myself as I scrounged my room for things I wanted to take with me on my trip. I found and packed most of the stuff I wanted, my sketch pad, notebook, clothes, toiletries and the camera my mom bought me with some of the money the government gave us. As I carefully examined my shelf, I found the picture me and my friends took together. “Can’t forget that.” I thought to myself putting the picture in my backpack. I wish they could have come, but the wormhole spell is too unstable.

“Callum! Are you ready yet dear?” My mom called out.

“Just a minute!”

I can’t keep her waiting, we had a long car ride ahead of us and we needed to be there at seven. I rolled my luggage out the door. I soon found myself sinking in the seat of my mom’s dusty old Sudan. First there was the roar of the engine, then white noise from the old radio tunes and we were off. I rolled down the window. The howling breeze and the sun's warm rays created a comfortable contrast that could only a summer afternoon could provide. Now knowing that nature was on my side, I couldn’t help but think of all the other wonderful things today could possibly bring. Blandly colored cars zoomed past us. Their dull, repetitive hues complemented the road. I couldn’t help but notice the silence. This didn’t feel right.

“Is something wrong mom?”

“I remember 3 days ago...when you brung the Princess into our home. I really didn’t think it’d be this soon.”

“I know, but this is beyond anything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

“I’ll be just fine. I’m just worried dear, that’s all.”

I understood where she was coming from. Being alone amongst a crowd and silently asking for someone to join you. I can’t imagine what she’ll feel when I’m gone. Our family lives out of state, dad’s gone and now I’m next in line. It seems like saying goodbye will be harder than I thought. I feel guilty, but this is the responsibility that I have taken from the moment I gained contact with Celestia.

As we arrived closer and closer to the capital the lack of activity become even more apparent. After being seated for hours on the listless melancholy road trip, we pulled up at the government complex. At the bottom of the intimidating stack of stairs was our bubble-bellied governor, Harry Malner, who was dressed in a slick black suit. He had an aroma of old books and overpriced cologne. He wore a fake smile on his face that must’ve been conditioned through years of customer service experience. He gave us a firm handshake and a hearty pat on the back.

“Good evening, it’s a mighty fine pleasure to have y’all here.” he said

“Well, It’s a mighty fine pleasure to be here sir.” my mom replied.

“Are you sure no one is here?”

“Not within a half mile radius.”

“So where’s the princess?”

“She’s just up the stairs.”

He led us up to the top of the stairs where Celestia stood monumentally. Her grandeur and sagaciousness were exemplified under the shadow of the capitol building. Next to her was a pony, who I assume is Equestria’s ambassador. She had a round face and big fluffy cheeks that I had to put myself in a mental straightjacket to avoid tugging on. Her short creamy yellow fur complemented the canary-tinted tips of her upper-mane whose colors gradually got warmer the further back they went. While her upper-mane clawed forward towards her right ear, her lower-mane curled 3 times down her back getting progressively larger, curlier, and cooler in color with each gyration. Her horn was long and sharp enough to induce aichmophobia. Her eyes were a deep shade of apple red that to sparkled intensely, even under the absence of light. I couldn’t help but get lost in them. Just describing her from the head to hoof was putting me on the verge of a very awkward boner.

“Heya” She said abruptly interrupting my thought process. Caught off guard, I shook my head to regain my focus. Her smile was stretched to the ends of the horizon.

“Hey.” I said failing to contain the awkwardness of the moment.

“You okay there?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She gave me a lighthearted giggle. I briefly caught her infectious giggle, but I killed it off much quicker than she did.

“Callum, Lauren, I would like you all to meet my wonderful ambassador ‘Polly Chroma’!” She announced pointing towards Polly with her hooves.

“Hello, how do ya do?” My mom asked shaking Polly’s hoof with both hands.

“I’m fine miss.” she responded

“Hey, good luck out there.” I said shaking her hoof.

Her smile returned. It was definitely softer than you’d expect a horse’s hoof to be and the reasonably trimmed fur on it was silky smooth. Now that I think of it, the ponies didn’t look too far from what I imagined their fictional counterparts would be.

“I hope that one day, my little ponies and the humans of Earth can become great friends.”

“I’m certain we will princess.” said the Harry nodding in agreement.

“Callum, make sure you have everything taken care of before we leave.”

I nodded to her before turning to my mother. Her sheer will must’ve desperately tried to hold her together the way she shook. I couldn’t just leave without a word because silence leaves open wounds. I gave my mom the biggest surprise hug she’s probably ever gotten. “You be good. Ya here?” she told me. “I’ll be good.” I said with confidence. She broke the hug and said “That’s my boy.” Her tears dried on my shoulder and she wore a great big smile. I felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, It was a homely feeling. Celestia shot me with a very subtle smirk was almost like a pat on the back.

“I’m ready.” I told Celestia.

“Everypony stand back.”

Her horn sparked sending off tiny yellow embers before igniting into a an inferno of oscillating energy. A ghostly white bolt of energy zipped through the air. Seams in the fabric of space were set asunder. The unearthly wail of reality was quickly drowned out by Celestia’s magic. A flat wall of distorted space stood in front of us. I stepped forward quickly, closed my eyes and fell in.

And suddenly...

A soft thud. I rubbed my head rolling over from the pain. The last thing I remember was Celestia signaling me to go forward. It felt as if there were dull jolts of static all over my body. I could hear crackling thunder being muffled by the mechanical hum of the princess’ powerful magic ringing in my ears.The grass below me glided against my arms. I opened my eyes. Everything went blurry while things slowly unfocused. I took a deep breath. It was pure. The steam that went between my nostrils, seamlessly flowed through my body. Celestia suddenly blocked out the sun landing in the grass right in front of me. She staggered on the landing, her legs wobbled like shoddy table. Against the odds she managed maintain her position. She watched me as I slowly got up. What I saw, was a botanical wonderland. Hedges created surrounded the perimeter. Bright green grass, vividly colored plants whose unorthodox biology boggled the mind and an exotic assortment of animals. Celestia’s calm smirk caught my attention.

“Callum Jamison, I--Princess Celestia--formally welcome you to the land of Equestria.” She said in a loud and pronounced voice I dubbed her “royal voice.”

“Holy fuck, this place is incredible!”

I sheepishly laughed at the outburst of profanity. She giggled at my enthusiasm. We took a short walk through the garden to hidden entrance in the back. I felt numb to reality, almost as if everything was some crazy elaborate dream. We had entered a room in the back of the castle, where a guard had taken my bag, before setting foot into the main hall. The stain glass windows reflected rainbows of light onto Celestia’s shimmering fur. A row of armored guard ponies stood in two perfectly straight rows on the edges of the gold-trimmed red carpets. Not a single guard dared to bat an eye or look away for just one moment. The sounds of my shoes and her hooves reverberating from the ground were the only noises to be accountable.

“Is this where I’ll be living?”

“No, you’ll be living with my student, Twilight Sparkle, in a town called Ponyville.“

I nodded in understanding. As we approached the end of the hallway, Celestia stopped--and instinctively--so did I. A pony who looked like an old English nobleman came out of a room on the side holding a black box. He bowed on one hoof as he held the box to the Princess who lifted the box with her magic. She held the box towards me and undid the seal. Revealing a tiara. It had waves of silver protruding from each side pulling towards the center. The edges were gilded thick layers with that shimmered like a coastal sunset. The centerpiece was a glistening red ruby with my name engraved in the silver curls around it. I couldn’t help but stare in awe.

“This is our welcoming gift to you from our great land. It was handcrafted by the greatest craftsmares in all of Equestria. I hope you like it.” she proudly stated.

“Thank you princess. This is amazing!” I said placing the metallic carona into my puffy hair.

Excitement flowed through my bloodstream. I could feel the electricity coursing through my veins. However odd it was that I was wearing a tiara, was negligible when weighed against the sheer value this item holds. This is a priceless treasure and something that will not see past my jurisdiction.

“It was my pleasure. Now let’s get going, shall we?”

As we approached the outside of the castle, my stomach growled.

“Sounds like someone is hungry.”

“Yeah, can we grab something to eat?”

Celestia nodded and brought me to the royal kitchen. Obviously it was quite large, with one massive--what must’ve been--20 foot rectangular table reaching the ends of the room. It was surrounded by fancy golden chairs and topped with unnecessarily detailed silverware that was coated in gems and rare metals. I took a seat on the longside of the table facing Celestia.

The our plates were dressed with a variety of vegetables whose colors put the stained glass windows to shame. Ornamented with an amalgamation of spices and seasonings that made the hairs in my nose dance a samba. The steamy air warmed my face like a sauna. The oh-so anticipated embrace of the dish massaged my palate tickling my throat on the way down.

“You’ll have to forgive my sister for her absence. She couldn’t stay awake for your arrival.”

“Will she come to visit me in my dreams?”

“That’s certainly a possibility, but she has a lot of paperwork to do.”

I dug my fork into my food. The the plate-fork reunion resulted in a cute plink. It was hard to keep my head up with the plate in front of me.

“Speaking of paperwork, is that what I’ll be doing?”

“Well yes, but there's a lot more to your job than that.”

“Then why not choose someone more qualified, like someone with a college degree?”

“College degree?”

“It’s a certificate you get that shows that you’ve gone through the highest level of school on Earth.

“That’s interesting...” she said with a hoof on her chin. “But with or without it, I know that you have the ability to meet my expectations.”

I smiled sheepishly at the sternly assured princess. Millions of questions flew around my head, like swarm of flies not one of which could I catch. It felt good to know she believed in me, but I’m certainly not a politician. I scooped up the last bit of veggies and carefully savored them. As they fell into the gastrointestinal abyss, the loving embrace of the succulent flavor was no more.

“Thank you for the food princess.”

“You’re welcome Callum.”

We went to the back of a castle where Celestia lead me to a large stoney wall. She then revealed a cave behind it with a flash of her horn. I took a seat in the small and overly luxurious train car. The ceiling of the car barely evaded arms reach. Celestia took a seat alongside me and pulled a lever that hung from the ceiling with her magic. I examined the iridescent crystals that lined the cave walls as the train drag itself along the track. I felt a rush of momentum as the train hit a steep incline. Eroded holes dotted the cave’s walls like Swiss cheese revealing the expansive countryside. The glowing crystals protruding from the cave’s mouth like the teeth obstructed the view. I caught a blurry glimpse of what looked like a small town in the distance. I couldn't help but feel intense apprehension creeping up my shoulder.

“Princess?”

She turned her head slightly in my direction. She had bits of concern sprinkled in the curiosity in her eyes.

“Don't you have some kind of cloaking spell we could use when we get to Ponyville?”

“Why?”

“I’m kind of nervous about this. I mean how will the residents react to seeing some weird hairless monkey walking around?”

“It's only natural to feel that way Callum. I'm certain everypony will get used to you very quickly.”

Not the kind of answer I was comfortable with, but she was probably right about this. I stared out the window of the train waiting silently to reach my destination.

The clacking of the train finally came to a stop. I walked to the front and opened the door for Celestia to make her way through. The ticketmaster’s eyes widened as I stepped out of the train car. He seemed quite shaken by my appearance. Beyond that, I couldn’t help but notice the a faint tinge of burgundy around his naturally grey fur. Odd…I pretended like he wasn’t there and walked to the town’s entrance. There, Twilight Sparkle greeted us.

“Welcome to Ponyville Mister Jamison” she yawned out. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s student.”

Her balance was off and she struggled to stand still. She'd blink significantly longer than normal and her were adorned with dark circles. It was definitely an eye raiser.

“You seem like you could really use some sleep.” I said with concern

Her eyelids slowly clamped together. “Good morning sunshine” I said poking her snout to wake her up. Her eyes slowly opened to Princess Celestia and she jumped as if she had seen a ghost. She hurriedly shook the sleep out of her system which forced a laugh out of the princess.

“AH! What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine.” she blurted “Anyways, I guess we’d better get going!” she said beckoning me to come with her. Celestia nodded and we exchanged farewells before she flew off into the sunset. I and the fatigued unicorn ventured into the town. The multi-colored cobblestone roads extended no further than half a city block. Houses had an oddly primitive vibe to them. Walled off with a wooden frame and stoney exterior and topped off with a head of bright yellow hay. The citizens were a lot calmer than I expected, though they seemed mildly weirded out by my appearance. Likewise, I was quite stirred as well, but moreso by the innumerable amount of cute mares that roamed the streets. My eyes bounced forward and down again in fear of the inevitable erection that I’d have to explain. I couldn’t help but notice the uneven rhythm of Twilights walk. It felt so unnatural see such an orderly pony like Twilight be tired at this time of the day.

“Hey Twilight.” I said. “I’m curious. Why are you so tired?”

“I’m sorry. I stayed awake trying to make sure everything was perfect for your arrival.” She said yawning out the end of that. “There was just so much to do.”

“You didn’t need to hurt yourself in the process.”

“Well, I couldn’t just let the Princess down.”

It was still rather concerning for me, but it wasn’t the best idea to press any further on the topic. A couple of turns and a needlessly long street later and we found ourselves on the way to the Carousel Boutique. It was unusually disconnected from the thoroughly connected Ponyville. It’s incredibly out of place location was befitting of it’s design. It looked like something out of Canterlot. It was castle-like. It was significantly more detailed than I imagined it would be. The complexity of each pattern engraved into the walls intrigued me as much as it bewildered me.

“This is the Carousel Boutique run by my friend Rarity.” She said dragging herself over to open the door. The door slowly slid open and her eyes slowly closed. The chingling entry bell made her jump in astonishment. Rarity turned her head to who was visiting. My heart pummeled my rib cage. I involuntarily scanned her. I tried to pull my eyes away but they were magnetized to the beauty that stood before them. Her shimmering white coat. Her vivid violet mane scrolled down her right on the front and to the left down her back. Her chest was pronounced and her under belly curved to complement it. Her rump was bulbous and obnoxiously expository, yet so thoroughly defined and tight. So much so that it singled out my attention and everything blurred around it. My face was now a salty waterfall of embarrassment and immense sexual arousal.

“Hello Rarity, this is Callum and he’s the ambassador of his homeworld Earth.” Twilight announced signaling us to shake. I treated her hoof meticulously, her hooves were particularly softer and her fur was silkier than any of the ponies I’ve touched so far barring Celestia.

“Nice to meet you Callum, I’m Rarity.”

“I-It’s nice to meet you too. M-Miss Rarity.”

She attempted to hold in a giggle which quickly started to bubble over. My eyes were on the case to discover the source of the comedy. The moment I looked down is when it stuck out. A well supported tent was pointing at the laugher. Poignant dread built up in my system like a witch’s brew braising over a fire.

There’s no way...

She could tell, couldn’t she?

“It’s an an-” I blurted. The shame and defeat of the untimely erection, pole vaulted from said erection to bring my mind back to reality. Oh god, she knew. “I’m am so. So. So. Sorry Miss Rarity.”

“No need to apologize dear. I find it quite flattering, really.”

The rest of her laughter sputtered out. Well, it’s a lot better than anything else that could have come out of that situation. A mountain of stress was lifted from my chest. I noticed Twilight was out like a light so I shook her. She bolted up from shock. We then continued to survey the boutique. Soon accompanied by Rarity’s pedantic and epical pontifications about her creations and the sounds of hoof and shoe reverberating on the eggshell white floor. There was a variety of different types of clothing around. I didn’t understand a thing about their designs, but hearing her overwhelming insight bedazzled me.

“So are you going to be making my clothing?”

“Why yes I’m the only seamstress and fashion designer in all of Ponyville.”

“The only one?”

“Well yes, Ponies don’t wear clothes as casually as you earth...uh. Monkeys?” she said. I quickly corrected her.

“Well, it’s good to know I won’t be walking around naked, especially with...that. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not a problem my dear. I am the element of generosity after all. I just need a sample of your clothing so that I may replicated it.”

I complied to her orders. I pulled out a shirt, a pair of pants and some underwear and held it up for her to grab. She ignited her horn and pulled the garments out of my hands. It had the same staticky feeling that going through the portal had. She had a face that was a dangerous mix of abject horror and disgust.

“The abysmal thread count, the simple, lifeless design, the rough fabric and dull colors! What horrible atrocity must one commit to be sentenced to an attire of such mediocre quality! This is a crime against fashion! You may continue browse my boutique, but I must get to work.”

“Thanks Rarity, but we need to get going.” Twilight said.

“Have fun you two. And do not fret Callum, I will do everything in my power correct this terrible injustice!” she

"Thank you, Miss Rarity."

"No need to thank me dear, any fashionista of dignity would do the same."

Farewells were exchanged and we left Rarity’s establishment with the door shut behind us. I laughed heartily for a while. Rarity’s histrionic outburst always made me laugh. We quickly found ourselves back into the town square. Not too far from which was Sugar Cube Corner, our next destination. The building had the same delicious gingerbread house aesthetic it was known for. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection what appeared to be gingerbread was really brick and the cream was made of some kind of cleverly sculpted white stone. I turned my attention to Twilight who appeared to be sleep walking on the way to the door. I quickly opened it for her to stumble into the suspiciously dark bakery. I stopped her in place which woke her up.

The door closed behind us…

And if this means what I think it means…

Before my sense could height-”SURPRISE!” cheered a familiar pink pony as the lights suddenly turned on.

The initial shock sent me headfirst into the short ceiling. A cannon sounded through the air as confetti, smoke and streamers filled the room before settling down. Before my mind could come back to Equestria, Pinkie tackled me into the wall. I was in dire pain but it was hard to be mad--or in pain for that matter--with a smile so wide and so genuine consuming your field of vision. I can’t lie, she was quite cute (not quite comparable to Rarity, mind you), but there was only one problem with that.

The fact that she was laying on me with her snout pushing against my nose. She smelled strongly of cake mix and bubble gum. If she was any further back then she’d be on my dick and it was probably just as--if not--more excited than she was. This was more-or-less a circus act and I was the clown on display. Unfortunately, there was no nose to honk, so this was starting to get very awkward. I had to make sure this situation got as far away from sexual as possible.

“Hi mister alien guy! Welcome to Ponyville! I’m Pinkie Pie! I love throwing super-duper awesome parties! What’s your name?” she said. The words fired out of her mouth like a gatling gun.

“I-I’m Callum, Callum Jamison. It is certainly...pleasant to meet you too Pinkie. Now would you mind...?” I awkwardly sputtered out. My face was blatantly painted with embarrassing discomfort.

She quickly got up and backed off of me so that I could stand. I dusted myself off and let out a sigh of relief. The pink pony bounced up and down like a rubber ball. I attempted to disguise the immense pain, which was just as fruitless as disguising my pendulous erection.

“Oh no, I’m super sorry about that. I was just so excited.”

“No problem.” I groaned in agony. “I think.”

“Don’t worry I’m just as excited.” I said scratching my injured cranium.

“I can tell!” she said in a voice that sounded like she was going to explode laughing.

Indeed she did explode into a combustious chortle and I was left glowing through my caramel colored skin. I felt the pressure return and began to perspire profusely for the second time. It had me feeling parched.

“I’m gonna go and grab some punch. Why don’t you wake up Twilight over there?”

“Oki doki loki!”

She sprang off to find Twilight and I went off to drown my abundant thirst in some punch. I ladled the red juice into a paper cup and took a long exaggerated sip. It was decent, but it was a little too far on the sweet side. There were varying emotions from the ponies in the room, mostly discomfort. There was a minty colored mare paying special attention to me though. I could feel her gaze piercing my skin. I took a quick glance towards the source and turned before we could make complete eye contact. Though I still felt it. The genuine sympathy and compassion she had in those large golden eyes of hers. I tapped the tip of my foot against the floor and drank a little faster. She broke away from her friend and approached me with a bumpy welcome. As far as looks goes, she’s not half bad either.

She had an anxious look on her face, but she was still grinning. It was nothing short of adorable. Her cyan cheeks glowed a deep red as she blew the hair out of her eyes. I noticed a subtle aura of a swampy green around her. I smiled back which seemed to make her slightly more comfortable with the situation. Finally, I decided to break the ice.

“Hey, I’m Callum.”

“I’m L-Lyra, er, Lyra Heartstrings, that is.”

Under the vulnerabilities, her voice was sweet as honey. Yet it was as soft like a fluffy pillow on the ears. It was mellifluous and soothing, yet meek. Her voice was a beautiful harmonious dichotomy that was like diving into an puny, yet intense fire. Front loaded with warm, tender modesty and driven by an elusive force of explosive and inspiring confidence. It ignited a fire that braised my gut and warmed my heart. I filled a cup and passed it over. She picked it up with her magic, which was incredibly unstable. She panicked a bit spilling the juice on her chest.

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry…”

Instinctively, I grabbed a cloth from the table and wiped her off.

“It’s fine, just try to be more careful next time.”

She nodded and I filled up another cup or her, which she successfully contained.

“So...how are you doing?” she asked with a tilt of the head.

“I’m a little banged up from Pinkie sending me into a wall, but overall I’m pretty good. Of horse, I would have liked a sweeter greeting, but that wasn’t exactly impied by the lunge.”

“Yeah, that didn’t look too fun.” she said. Her eyes quickly bounced to the bottom left corner. “Or um...I would say that if you hadn’t reacted as if everything was in tact.”

We both laughed briefly. I took the time to wipe the excess sweat which remained on my face with my shirt.

“I still can’t believe she actually acts like this.”

“Yeah, Pinkie is quite the oddball.”

“Noted.”

I took another moment to examine the room. Everypony’s attention centered onto us. A pony who I recognized as Bon Bon especially. She was as watchful as a hawk, yet she looked thoroughly peeved like someone pissed in her oats.

“Is your friend okay? She seems...upset.”

“She’s fine, she just a little riled up by you. That’s all. Trust me, she’s really sweet once you get to know her. She always has my flank when I need it. She’s like a sister to me.”

“She sounds like a pretty nice pers-I mean pony. Why didn’t she come over.”

“She’s got major trust issues when it comes to meeting new people.”

The previous mentioned of flank had brought my attention to the instrument plastered on her side. A large golden horseshoe-shaped instrument that looked a lot like a harp, but with far fewer strings. Yet, it strummed my curiosity.

“So, Lyra what do you do around here?”

“Nothing special, just playing the Lyre for money.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you can’t make a profit from that.” I said. My mom always said stuff like that. “Besides, I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who love your music.”

“I-I’d love for you to come by sometime and hear it. An-” She said tripping over the start of her next sentence. “And m-maybe we could--I mean probably--er, only if you want to, hang out sometime?” she paused briefly and brought herself together. “I really want to get to know you.”

“Sure. It might be a few days before I can come by because I’ve got to get settled in here.”

“Oh, of course, I understand. Ah ha ha, ha ha ha ha.”

I was puzzled by her panicky reaction. She seemed a bit too worried about something. Whatever it was, it wasn’t clear enough to figure out at the moment. I left her my farewell and departed to find Twilight.

Hours had passed since we entered that part. It felt like we were only in there for 5 minutes. I doubt that Twilight wanted to go anywhere else but bed. Twilight had been looking at the clock rather anxiously throughout the whole thing. She made sure everything was cut off at around 8 PM. When we made it to Twilight’s library treehouse, she pushed the door open. Inside, was her assistant Spike rearranging books atop a ladder who stopped to see who was at the door. He slid down the bars and hurried to Twilight.

"Hey Twilight, is that the alien guy you were talking about?"

"Yes Spike, and he'll be living here with us"

"Cool! Can he shoot lasers from his arms?! Can he control the minds of ponies?!"

That’s sounded a lot like someone with their mind stuck thoroughly in the world of fiction. His eyes, just like his voice, were brimming with energy and excitement. He reminded me of myself when I first heard Celestia's voice.

"I wish I was that damn awesome." I muttered to myself. "No, I don't do either of those."

To be honest, I think we're pretty good at that last one.

"Aww, that's lame."

"Spike!" Twilight said chastising the naive purple dragon.

I can't blame him. humans can do a lot of things but we definitely don't have any sort of magic.

“Don’t mind him he’s been reading way too many comic books lately.” she said "Let’s go upstairs."

She trotted up the wooden stairs with her dragon companion pitter pattering behind her and I pulling myself behind the two. Atop the relatively short staircase was my new living space.The window was as clear as the night sky which was peppered with stars. There were a few book shelves on the wall that were not quite full of books. A plant rested in it’s pot atop a small wooden table next to the window. There was a basket with a pillow and a blanket and 2 beds with one notably longer bed that made the room feel clustered. Spike had already claimed his bed and twilight was already in hers, so I rolled into the bed that was obviously mine.

“Good night, Twilight.” I said.

“Good night Callum” she yawned rolling over and falling asleep.

I closed my eyes but I wasn’t asleep, just thinking. When will ponies get used to me? I can’t let them know I'm an omnivore or everypony will freak out. I have to start using their terminology too. I’ll get on that. Lyra seems like a nice girl, a little on the crazy side, but I’d love to get to know her. Rarity is unbelievably sexy. Pinkie is just as weird as she is in the show. I wonder if she mysteriously knew about that in the same way she mysteriously knows about other obscure things. Trying to claim that my boner was an antenna was a dumb idea. How will not-so-tired-Twilight respond to my “excitement”? Will the rest of Twilight’s friends even like me?

Then all of my thoughts faded away as I fell into the gentle hooves of slumber.

Author's Note

It's been a long time coming boys, but here it is. After seeing all the spelling and grammar issues, scenes that were good in theory, but lacking in execution and some plot points that should have, but never were addressed. I knew I had to do something, so I cooked this gem up. I'm very happy with how this turned out and I'm excited for the future of this story. You guys have been patient with chapter 4 so, yeah be prepared for that next month at the latest.

The original chapter has been unpublished, if you'd like to see it then I can send you a link via PM, but fair warning it kinda sucks.

If you have something to say positive or negative then leave in the comments below. I like constructive criticism, so try to leave that stuff down here too. Thank you for reading and have a fantastic day.