The Derpy I Know And Love Volume 3: How Pinkie Got Her Groove Back

Muffins was in Sugarcube Corner picking up her favorite cookies.

“Pinkie!” exclaimed Muffins, seeing her friend.

“Muffins! So good to see you,” said the pink pony.

“You must be doing better to be back at work.”

“Yes, I told Dashie if I didn’t get out of the house, I’d go crazy. Or at least crazier.”

Both ponies chuckled.

“I understand.” Said Muffins, “after giving birth to Dawn, Twilight and I decided we wanted to nurse her as long as possible, I got tired of being stuck home most of the time. But since I live where I work, I didn’t have to miss that.”

“I know what you mean. You know that I use to live here, so I use to have no problem being at work. But being stuck in the house, well it was time I got out.”

“Well I’m glad to see you out and about. You and Rainbow need to come over for dinner one evening. It’ll do you good to be around your friends. And Cookie and Dawn miss you.”

“Awe! They’re so sweet,” said Pinkie. “I miss the little angels too. I’ll talk to Dashie and we’ll make a date.”

“That’s great,” said Muffins turning and leaving. “I’ll tell Twilight. See you later Pinkie.”

“See you too BH.” said Pinkie going back to the backroom.

Muffins stopped in her tracks.

“Did she just call me what I think she did?” Muffins asked herself out loud. “No, couldn’t be. Just my imagination.”

Later that evening, Twilight had finished reshelfing the cooking section, she came into the main room of the library to see Pinkie spread out on a sofa, there were several books around her and on the floor.

“Hey Pinkie,” said Twilight, glad to see her friend. “I heard you were back to work, that’s great. Muffins told me that she invited you and Rainbow over for dinner some night. I have some eggplant steaks we could put on the grill. How about Thursday night?”

“That sounds great Twi.” Said Pinkie, “I’ll bring a carrot cake, not my boss.”

Both laughed.

“Hey Twi, do you have a copy of Orion Shine’s The Dark Magic of Spirits?”

“Yes, it’s over there on the top shelf...” Twilight paused, she noticed the books Pinkie had around her. All advanced magic books. “What do you need that for?”

“Just catching up,” said Pinkie nonchalantly.

“Are you going to be taking all these books home?” asked Twilight.

“No, I’ve already read them.”

“O... K...,” said Twilight, “I’ll get your book.”

Twilight looked back at the shelf but the book was gone.

“Its okay,” said Pinkie, “I got it. Just needed to check one thing”

Twilight was sure that Pinkie hadn’t gotten up. Twilight turned to look at the shelf again, the book was now there. Then she heard the door.

“See you later,” said Pinkie leaving.

Twilight turned back and all the books Pinkie had collected were back on the shelves.

“Uh… Bye Pinkie Pie,”

Pinkie laughed as the door closed.

“That rhymes!”

As Pinkie was leaving, Muffins was returning;

“Hello again Pinkie.”

“Hello again Muffins.” said Pinkie.

As Pinkie passed, she reached out and ‘goosed’ Muffins on the inner side of her thigh. The exact spot extremely ticklish to Muffins.

“Pinkie!” she exclaimed, but Pinkie had already taken off at a fast trot.

Muffins rushed into the library and called out.

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight froze, no endearment, no ‘hello, I’m home!’ Twilight tried hard to think of what she might’ve done…

Or forgot to do.

“Yes Darling?”

Twilight could tell Muffins was pissed about something, When she was irked, she’d hover about three feet off the floor in an upright posture with her forelegs crossed across her chest. It was an instinctive action to make her look bigger and more intimidating. And right now, it was working. Muffins reminded Twilight of some bird of prey about to pounce on a helpless mouse.

And Twilight was feeling very ‘mousey’ right now.

“What intimate information about us have you been telling Pinkie Pie?”

“Other than you could suck the chrome off a wagon hitch, lick a stone mare to climax and that you drool when you sleep, nothing.” Said Twilight hoping to be funny.

It didn’t work. Muffins rose about another foot up.

“Twilight, the children are upstairs and they can hear you.

And I don’t drool!”

“Sorry Sweetie,” said Twilight, “I didn’t think you were serious. I don’t talk about such things to anypony, even my closest friends, why?”

“Well, while I was leaving Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie called me by a name Shooting Star used to call me while we were dating. Then as I was coming in, she ‘goosed’ me in my ticklish spot. How’d she know about these things unless you’ve told her?”

“First, I’ve not said anything. That ticklish spot was found by me after hard, honest lovemaking.” Twilight said with a sly smile. Muffins blushed.

“Well what about the name?” asked Muffins.

“What about the name?” asked Twilight. “I’ve never asked you anything about your love life with Shooting Star, other than maybe ‘who licked your clitoris better?’”

Muffins looked annoyed but smiled and blushed anyway.

“The children can hear you,” said Muffins. “Then why did Pinkie call me BH?”

Twilight was puzzled;

“What’d you do to make Pinkie call you a bitch?”

“Not bitch, BH. Because of my cutie mark, Shooting was calling me Bubbles, Bubbles Hooves, B-H. Shooting was into initials at that time for some reason. You know scientist with their abbreviations, acronyms and jargon.”

Muffins settled back to the floor, wings still upraised. Another sub-conscience intimidation posture. Twilight had seen Rainbow Dash do this when she was chewing out one of her Weather Team underlings, Muffins had probably been on the receiving end of such a rant at one time.

Twilight was starting to wish she’d grown up with Pegasi friends. It would’ve prepared herself to deal with the actions and reactions of her wife.

“That’s starting to bother me. Just before you came in, I found Pinkie with several advanced magic books, she said she’d just read them. She asked for another one. When I went to get it, it was gone. When I turned back to Pinkie, she had it. Then when she went to leave, all the books were back where they belonged. And I’d swear that Pinkie never left where she was sitting.”

“We had better keep an eye on Pinkie.” Said Muffins, folding her wings. “She’s been through a lot. Maybe she’s still suffering some affects of the brain trauma.”

“Yes,” said Twilight, then with a sly gleam in her eyes, “and speaking of your ticklish spot.”

There was a purple aura around Muffins and Twilight, then in a flash they were in their bedroom. Twilight tackled Muffins to the bed and proceeded to make merciless love to her wife.

Making sure to get her ticklish spot good.

“Oh Twilight!” moaned Muffins.

It was a long first day back at work. Rainbow was concerned her wife would overdo it. But Pinkie reported she had fun and even had some time to go to the library. She related how Twilight and Muffins invited them over to grill some eggplant steaks on Thursday.

Pinkie was feeling good enough to make a oat noodle and cheese casserole. They spent the evening sitting around and talking about their day.

It was getting late and having her pink wife all back to normal was making Rainbow happy. Rainbow said she was going to hit the shower before bed. Pinkie said she would too, but she had to finish putting the dishes away.

Rainbow was laying on the bed, she could hear Pinkie in the shower. The shower stopped and she could hear her pink pony brushing her teeth.

After a few minutes, Rainbow heard Pinkie come in the room. Pinkie climbed on the bed. She gently rolled Rainbow on her stomach. Rainbow felt Pinkie’s hooves on her hips pulling her up, Rainbow took the hint and raised up to her elbows and knees. She was happy to accommodate the best love maker she ever knew.

Soon Pinkie’s tongue was deep in Rainbow’s marehood, the feeling was awesome.

“Pink, for a pony who isn’t a mare-lover, you’re the best mare-lover I’ve ever known.”

Then Pinkie stopped. Next was unexpected, Pinkie mounted Rainbow’s back. Rainbow was about to ask what her wife was up to when she felt her marehood penetrated. A shock, but not unpleasant.

‘Pinkie must have found a new toy,’ thought Rainbow.

It had been a while since Rainbow has had intercourse as with a colt. Not her favorite way, but it still was good.

Pinkie was working it good, Rainbow felt parts of her marehood stimulated that had been untouched for a while. The orgasm was coming and fast, she could tell that Pinkie was really into this.

The orgasm hit, Rainbow let out a loud cry, but so did Pinkie, not her typical climax laugh. As she did, Rainbow could swear that she felt something hot pumping deep inside her marehood. But the feeling quickly passed, she attributed it to her imagination.

Rainbow slumped to her belly, Pinkie rolled off Rainbow’s back and on to her own. Rainbow looked over to her wife in prelude of giving her a kiss when she noticed a red aura around her wife. Also, there was no sex toy strapped to Pinkie.

Rainbow panicked. She ran to the bathroom and checked herself. Other than the normal marehood wetness, there wasn’t anything inside her.

She returned to the bed room and from the doorway she saw that there was still a red aura around Pinkie, but it was slowly fading.

Pinkie looked over at Rainbow, still in the doorway.

“You’re still the best lay in all Equestria… Muffins.” Said the pink pony.

It was like being hit with a bag of rocks. Rainbow rushed the bed and grabbed up Pinkie and shouted.

“Muffins??? Muffins!!! If you weren’t getting over a head injury, I’d slap the horse-apples out of you! That’s not funny!”

Suddenly the aura around Pinkie was gone. Pinkie looked panicked.

“Dashie! What are you doing?” said Pinkie starting to cry, “I thought you loved me!”

“Calling me Muffins isn’t cool! I don’t appreciate you thinking about somepony else when we’re making love. Or is there something more to it than that? Do I need to go talk to Twilight about you and her wife?”

“Dashie, you’re frightening me! I’ve no idea what you’re talking about!” Tears were streaming from her eyes.

“We’ll talk in the morning!”

With that Rainbow grabbed a blanket and stormed out to the living-room to sleep on the couch. But she couldn’t go to sleep, Pinkie was crying that loud.

Nothing made sense, Pinkie was a joker and a sex fiend when she was alone with Rainbow. But to think Pinkie was fantasizing about one of their friends during sex. Or worse, Pinkie and Muffins were having an liaison was unthinkable.

Rainbow got up and went back into the bedroom. Pinkie was laying on her side, facing the wall. She was still crying. Rainbow lay back down on the bed, Pinkie spun around and threw her forelegs around Rainbow and looked into her eyes. Pinkie’s beautiful blue eyes were red from crying, in her face was the innocence of a newborn foal. But the fear which comes from the threat of lost love.

“What ever I did, what ever I said, what ever I thought, I’m so, so sorry!” she pleaded.

“No Pink, I’m sorry. I’d no right to threaten to hit you. What ever the reason.”

Rainbow was trying to stay cool about it, but it wasn’t working. She could feel the tears pouring down her cheeks.

The two lay there hugging tightly, crying hard.

“Pink, I love you so much, please forgive me.”

“Forgive me Dashie, I’d never do anything to make you doubt me. Being your wife is the greatest thrill, the greatest success of my life! Don’t hate me.”

“Oh Pink! I never could,” said Rainbow.

The two of them hugged tightly and cried themselves to sleep.

Rainbow awoke the next morning, Pinkie wasn’t in the bed and there was no smell of cooking. She got out of bed and went to find Pinkie. Pinkie was just sitting on the couch in the living room. She looked up and saw Rainbow.

“Dashie, I’m frightened,” said the pink pony.

“Of what?” asked Rainbow. “Last night was a fluke. All couples have falling outs. The important thing is they work it out and move on. Our love is strong enough to weather this.”

Rainbow sat by Pinkie and put her wing around Pinkie’s shoulders, and put her hoof in Pinkie’s lap. Pinkie took her hoof and kissed it and put it to her cheek.

“Listen Pink, last night I threatened to go to Twilight to talk about what I thought was going on. I still think that we should go talk to her. Not about me thinking you’re unfaithful, which I don’t think you could ever be. But something is going on and Twi knows a lot about a lot.”

“Sure thing, I want to find out myself.”

“Good, we can grab some donuts and coffee at Sugarcube Corner. Plus you can let the Cakes know you won’t be in today for personal reasons.”

Rainbow held Pinkie close, put both wings around her pink love and kissed her deeply.

The couple walked to Sugarcube Corner, quite often gently nudging the other playfully with their flanks. Since the accident, Rainbow stayed on the ground when she was with Pinkie. She’d always enjoyed the thrill of flight, even if it was just hovering along while her friends walked. But Pinkie still had some weakness in her hind legs and the occasional dizzy spell. So Rainbow liked to be close by to help.

Rainbow didn’t care how sappy it made her look, doting over her wife. She’d almost lost her permanently and she was bound and determined to make sure she gave Pinkie all the attention she deserved, and had been denied by her in the past.

Rainbow often reflected on the past, how she’d actively avoid Pinkie at most times. Pinkie was so wild and free, random and infuriating. But most ponies would just say ‘Pinkie Pie is just being Pinkie Pie’.

The truth was, Rainbow was just as wild and free, and she was actually a little jealous. Rainbow thought she had to appear ‘cool’ at all times. Pinkie didn’t care what ponies thought of her. She had fun and she did what she wanted to do.

Such a pony was the only type of pony Rainbow could love. She just had to come to terms with the whole ‘love’ thing, and it was hard. She’d always thought it was too sappy when a couple would sit in the park and hold hooves, or sit at the soda shop and share one hay smoothie with two straws. Or worse (at that time), be committed to an exclusive relationship, with all the playful banter and pet names, in public.

Now Pinkie sat eating a couple jelly-filled donuts and sipping some fresh milk, while Rainbow enjoyed some maple frosted bars and some stiff coffee. Pinkie was a beauty to Rainbow, even now with powdered sugar on her face.

“Dashie, I want to change my name.” Said Pinkie out of nowhere.

Rainbow paused, swallowed her mouthful of donut, and washed it down with coffee.

“Change it to what? And why?”

“I was thinking that Pinkamena Diane Dash sounds so much better. After all, you’ve taken such good care of me. Watched over me, and was even ready to die for me. I’ve no way else to prove how much I’m thankful for all you’ve done and are willing to do. I’m yours and nopony else’s and I want all the world to know.”

“That’s a big step,” said Rainbow, feeling a little misty. “We kept our names and added the others as a sign of our partnership. I know it’s an old-fashioned idea, but I always thought when a mare took the colt’s name it was more like a sign of property. Neither of us is a colt.”

“Thank Celestia,” injected Pinkie with a giggle.

“But if this is how you truly feel, then I’m for it. Do you want me to drop the ‘Pie’ from my name? I kind of like having that connection to you.”

“You can do what you want, you always can.

I see how my mother is always there for Maude, Limestone, Marble and me. She’s always there for my dad as well. She’s proud of who she is, and works hard in the home and at the rock farm. Being my dad’s wife is the proudest thing she does. My dad sees all this and does all he could to make things easier on mom.

I want us to be like that. You’re not the husband or the dad. But in our relationship, you kind of fill that position, and I’m happy with that. It excites me to think of you that way. And I want to be the wife you deserve.

So I hope you’re not upset, but I asked Twilight about a week ago if she’d draw up the papers and have Princess Celestia sign them.”

There was such a tender look on Pinkie’s face.

“I’d breakdown and cry right now Pink, but it’s hard to take you totally seriously with donut sugar on your face like that.” Said Rainbow with a smile.

“Well, you can lick it off me if you want,” said Pinkie flashing her ‘bedroom eyes’.

‘What the Tartarus?’ thought Rainbow, and she leaned forward started to lick Pinkie’s cheek.

But Pinkie quickly turned and caught Rainbow’s tongue in her mouth. The pink pony sucked it in then would back off again, she did this over and over again. Finally their lips met and were firmly sealed against each other. It was perhaps the most erotic kiss Rainbow had ever done with any pony in public, and Rainbow didn’t care who saw. She only hoped nopony would notice just how wet she’d become.

“Get a room,” called Lyra Heartstrings jokingly from another table.

“Yes, and let us know if you need any help,” Said Bon-Bon, her wife.

All four ponies giggled.

“Not this time girls,” said Rainbow.

“Can we get a rain-check?” asked Pinkie.

Laughs all around.

Rainbow and Pinkie got up to leave, but not before Rainbow took a napkin and wiped off the cushion she’d been setting on. Then just to be sure, she turned it over.

Lyra and Bon-Bon giggled at the procedure but said nothing. Rainbow looked over and shrugged her shoulders. Bon-Bon and Lyra responded by copying the kiss between themselves. Rainbow just smiled.

On leaving Sugarcube corner, they turned down the street toward the library.

Standing by a vegetable cart, were Muffins and Twilight. Rainbow couldn’t tell what Muffins was saying, but it had Twilight looking sheepish. Then, while Muffins was saying something with an impish look on her face, Twilight grabbed the blue-gray Pegasus and planted a large kiss on the lips.

What followed, shocked Rainbow to the core.

“NO!” screamed Pinkie.

Pinkie took off like a shot in the direction of Twilight and Muffins. Rainbow saw the red aura around her wife again, it was visible even in the bright sunlight.

“Keep your filthy hooves off my wife you mare-lover!” continued Pinkie.

There was a red aura around Muffins, it pulled Muffins away several feet from Twilight. Startled by her wife moving off mid-kiss, Twilight looked up in time to see Pinkie draw back and backhoof her across the face and jaw. Twilight went flying. Rainbow saw Pinkie rear up on her hind legs as if she intended to come down on Twilight’s head with both front hooves.

There was the sound of a loud voice, but the word was unrecognizable.

Twilight and Muffins were picking up some fresh vegetables for Rainbow and Pinkie’s visit the next day. Muffins gestured to the vegetables.

“We should pick up some carrots for the children, you know how much they love carrots.” Said Muffins, then with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, she continued. “But look at the size of those cucumbers. Maybe we could pick up some for something other than the salad.”

Twilight blushed and lowered her head. Muffins was enjoying Twilight’s embarrassment, so she continued teasing.

“So which would you prefer? One of these large round ones? No, I bet you’d like one of the really long ones...”

Muffins was cut off by Twilight’s kiss. It was taking Twilight’s breath away when she heard what sounded like Pinkie screaming.

“Keep your filthy hooves off my wife you mare-lover!”

Muffins felt herself lifted and moved away.

Twilight was confused. Muffins just moving off in the middle of a kiss was a shock. She looked up in time to see what looked like Pinkie but encased in a red aura. Then came the backhoof across her face. It stunned Twilight for a moment. She managed to open her eyes in time to see Pinkie on her hind legs with her front hooves poised to come down on her head.

There was the sound of a loud voice, but the word was unrecognizable. That was followed by a flash.