The Derpy I Know And Love Volume 3: How Pinkie Got Her Groove Back

by Stormbringer

CHAPTER THREE: Zecora

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Zecora was in meditation. To most ponies she was just that odd zebra who spoke in verse and lived in the Everfree Forest. An herbalist and natural medicine healer. But there were a few ponies, like Twilight Sparkle, who knew her talents, and yes, powers were much deeper.

She was living proof of the theory you didn’t have to be a Unicorn to be able to use magic. She practiced a slightly different type of magic than the Unicorns did. There were charlatans who used theatrics, superstition and to a degree, knowledge of chemistry to fool others into thinking they’d special powers. Even some Unicorns like Trixie Lulamoon who took this short-cut rather than honest study.

But Zecora used a knowledge of the natural universe, the living world, medicinal plants and substances along with a discipline which had been passed down for incalculable generations back to antiquity.

Zecora reached out in her contemplation, feeling the flow of nature. She could feel something out of place. It was coming from Ponyville. The feeling of a presence which shouldn’t be there.

‘Go,’ said the voice of her spirit guide, in her mind. From the sound of his voice, it was important.

Zecora opened her eyes, lowered herself from the staff she’d been balancing on the top of with just one hoof. She collected her saddlebag and placed several herbs and bags of premixed ingredients in the saddlebag, and headed out to Ponyville.

In many ways, the Everfree Forest was still an alien world to her. Zecora missed the wide open savanna of her native land; which stretched from horizon to horizon, the sight of the holy mountain in the distance. She and her kind had occupied these lands for all of time, or so it seemed. It was a wild beauty which was part of her. Her tribe and all the zebra tribes lived nomadic lives, following the food, when one area was well grazed, they’d move on. It was hard sometimes having to compete with some of the other, not quiet sentient occupants. Also the predators made life sometimes precarious.

The lions had risen in intelligence as well and were seldom a threat to sentient species, but they often would demand tribute to protect the weaker species. For the most part they weren’t too demanding usually it was medicine and healing from the shamans. It was nice to have such an ally.

However, they couldn’t be everywhere, but their wrath was great when they found that the lesser predators, such as hyenas, had attacked clans under their protection.

Evolution had led some of the others in the land to a level equal to the point of lesser equines of antiquity. In fact giraffes and gazelle were starting to be at a point where some could communicate with her people, but at a primitive level.

It was a hard living, but Zecora did enjoy a certain level of privilege, being a tribal shaman. But came the day when she was out collecting herbs when she returned to the encampment to find that her people had been decimated and mutilated by a pack of vicious hyenas. Only old Kin’la, her teacher, was still alive, but barely. There were many hyena carcasses surrounding her, but there were more hyenas than she could’ve handled. Zecora knew she also would be laying dead if she’d been there. Two shamans were not enough to stop the hyenas once they had tasted blood.

Kin’la told Zecora to seek her destiny elsewhere or suffer her people’s fate. She had to find a spirit guide and trust them.

Then Kin’la was gone.

Zecora felt crushed to loose her people. But more over, to loose Kin’la, her teacher, mentor and her mother. It was more than enough motivation to leave.

Afterward, she meditated in a safe spot she’d found on the holy mountain. She ate nothing and only took a few sips of water each day for twenty days.

Finally when she was about to give up, her spirit guide came to her.

He was like a gorilla but not as stocky. He stood upright on his hind legs. He looked wise yet sad. He was almost hairless except for the top of his head, and it was the color of the snow which always covered the top of the holy mountain. His skin was the color of night with bright eyes shining forth on his face. It appeared he was covered, lightly, with colorful flowing robes. Her spirit guide said he was a binadamu(1),(2), a race who destroyed themselves countless millennia ago. He’d once been a holy-man and healer of the Maasai tribe in this land. He’d chosen to stay between the worlds to try to prevent any race which came after, not to make the mistakes which destroyed the binadamu(3).

He had the strange name of Dahood. Dahood told Zecora she needed to travel north, to a land inhabited by a race called ‘Little Ponies’.

Zecora had heard of them, it was said their rulers were responsible for the raising and setting of the moon and sun. They had magic, science and wisdom. They had powerful leaders but few had any true direction. He was sending her to be the first to offer direction. Her and any apprentices that may be willing to come after.

It’d been an arduous journey from there to here. But Dahood directed her to this place. She could always feel him at the edge of consciousness. And with meditation, she could communicate with him. Along the way she learned from witch doctors, shamans and scientist.

Her powers grew, but she’d made sure to not to cultivate fame or public notice.

It was her intent to let her knowledge and personality bring those who needed her help to her.

It had worked, she now had many friends in Ponyville after a shaky start. It took one brave little filly to break the ice and get others to know her. The filly was always full of questions, and for the most part, they were the right questions. Indeed, Zecora was starting to teach her to be an apprentice. She could always feel the curiosity when Apple Bloom visited, and these were becoming more and more frequent. She found Apple Bloom’s little filly friends were encouraging her to learn more and more. Once Zecora was a pariah, now she was almost as much a celebrity as the six hero ponies of Ponyville. Apple Bloom looked up to Zecora the way Scootaloo looked up to Rainbow Pie-Dash.

As Zecora left the boundaries of the forest, she headed directly into Ponyville. She was almost to Sugarcube Corner when the feeling of something out of place hit her harder. She looked and saw Pinkie charging toward Twilight and Muffins Sparkle. What she saw next wasn’t something she’d expected. Pinkie was surrounded by a red aura. Pinkie projected that aura at Muffins, lifting and moving her away from Twilight. Then Pinkie struck Twilight across the face, knocking her down. Pinkie reared up to bring her hooves down on Twilight’s head. It could’ve been a death blow.

Zecora shouted in her native language a command taught to her by old Kin’la, her mentor:

Kufungia!”(4)

There was a bright flash around Pinkie. The red aura was still there but she was frozen mid-action. Pinkie’s eyes looked this way and that. But that was the only motion from the pink pony.

Rainbow came flying up.

“Twi! What did you do to her?”

“It wasn’t me Rainbow, I didn’t have time to do anything!”

“Then who did?” Asked Muffins.

At that moment, Zecora came trotting up.

“It was I who did it, Muffins My Dear;

I couldn’t let Pinkie hurt Twilight right here.”

“Thank you, Zecora. You must teach me that sometime.” Said Twilight.

Zecora just smiled and nodded her head. Then the zebra chanted another command that the rest didn’t understand:

Usingizi.”(5)

Pinkie collapsed, her eyes closed, but the aura was still there.

“What did you do now?” exclaimed Rainbow.

“She’s only asleep, but I think it best;

To take her to my hut, to discus the rest.”

Twilight levitated the motionless Pinkie and started to follow Zecora. Muffins and Rainbow followed. Muffins noticed blood oozing from the corner of Twilight’s mouth where Pinkie hit her.

“Are you alright Darling?” asked Muffins to Twilight, “you’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine for now. I think Pinkie knocked a couple teeth loose. I’m starting to feel it.”

“Fixing your teeth will be easy, my friend;

But fixing Pinkie may be harder, in the end.”

They entered the Everfree Forest and followed the well worn path to Zecora’s hut. Once inside, Zecora motioned to put Pinkie on her bed. Zecora busied herself gathering some herbs and berries, put them in a mortar, and ground them with a pestle. Then she dumped the ingredients into her cauldron. There was a puff of green smoke. Zecora took a ladle, dipped it into the brew, and then poured the measure into a drinking bowl.

Zecora then motioned Twilight to take the bowl.

“Drink this down, every last drop;

It’ll fix your teeth and cause the bleeding to stop.”

Twilight levitated the bowl to her mouth. Trusting Zecora, downed it quickly. There was a tingling in her mouth, she felt the teeth moving. Then all was still. Twilight felt the teeth with her tongue. They were solidly imbedded in her jaw. She also noticed the taste of blood had stopped as had the pain.

“Thank you Zecora,” said Twilight. “Again, I’m in your debt.”

“Your friendship is all the payment I need;

But Pinkie’s story I must now heed.”

Twilight started to relate what had happened about six months ago when Shooting Star, Muffins’ late ex-husband appeared from the past. And also the crash which all but killed Pinkie. How she was crushed by Shooting Star’s insistence he would keep herself from her beloved Muffins and children, even if he had to kill her. Then overhearing that Pinkie was about to die and Rainbow swearing to kill herself when it happened because she didn’t want to go on without Pinkie. Twilight told how devastated it made her, she felt she was about to loose her love, her family, two of her best friends and perhaps her life. It was then she remembered an obscure spell for trading your life-force for another pony’s. She was just about to do the spell when Shooting Star knocked her out with a spell of his own, and while she was out, he performed the spell and gave his life to Pinkie.

“After this time is when, I presume;

Pinkie’s troubles started to bloom?”

“Shooting Star had left a book inscribed to me. When I read the inscription, Pinkie quoted some fact about the book, saying it was Shooting Star's favorite chapter.” Related Twilight.

“That’s strange, I must admit;’

But there’s more that’s not been revealed yet?”

“Well,” said Muffins, “I met Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner. She’d just went back to work. When I left she called me BH.”

Zecora chuckled;

“Oh dear Muffins, that’s really rich;

What’d you do to have Pinkie call you a bitch?”

Twilight and Rainbow snickered. Muffins kicked Twilight’s shin.

“Ouch!” exclaimed Twilight. “Rainbow laughed too.”

“I’m not married to Rainbow,” said Muffins.

“And not bitch,” said Muffins turning her attention back to Zecora, “B.H., Bubbles Hooves! It’s a nickname that Shooting Star called me when we first started dating, then he started to abbreviate it.

Later that day I met Pinkie coming out of the library, she ‘goosed’ me in a very private ticklish spot that only Shooting Star and Twilight knew about.”

“Oh yeah, where?” whispered Rainbow to Twilight.

“Rainbow!” exclaimed Muffins. Despite not being married to Rainbow, she kicked her shin as well.

“Horse-apples!” exclaimed Rainbow.

Twilight continued with her experience from that day.

“I came into the main floor of the library, there was Pinkie surrounded by advanced magic books. She said she’d just read all of them and asked for another. I told her where it was, when I turned to get it, it was gone and Pinkie had it. I turned again to look and the book was back, in fact all the books were back in their place. And I’d swear that Pinkie hadn’t gotten out of her seat.”

“This is good information to know;

But I believe there’s more, am I right Rainbow?”

“It’s rather personal.” Said Rainbow, here friends had never seen Rainbow this embarrassed.

“If you wish to help Pinkie, the truth must be had;

Otherwise the end of all this will be sad!”

Rainbow blushed and took a deep breath.

“Last night, Pinkie came to bed and pulled me up to my back knees and elbows. She proceeded to perform oral sex. I was really getting into it when she stopped. She mounted my back and I felt something penetrate my marehood, just like a colt’s ‘thing’. You know the feeling, there’s no mistaking it.”

Muffins and Zecora nodded their heads.

“Actually, no,” said Twilight quietly, lowering her head embarrassed.

“You aren’t missing anything my Darling,” whispered Muffins nuzzling her wife. Zecora smiled and nodded in agreement.

“I thought Pinkie had got a new sex toy. It was feeling really good. When the orgasm hit, it did for Pinkie also. But instead of her normal noise, she let out a cry, I swear I felt something hot pumping in me for a moment. Pinkie rolled off and I was about to kiss her when I noticed the red glow around her. I also noticed there was no sex toy. I ran into the bathroom to check inside my marehood, but there wasn’t anything. I perhaps imagined it. But when I came back into the room, Pinkie was still glowing. She turned to me and said,

‘You’re still the best...’”

“...lay in all Equestria, Muffins,” finished Muffins. “Shooting Star would always say that after sex!”

Twilight looked a little uncomfortable.

“Sorry Darling,” whispered Muffins.

Rainbow looked unnerved.

“I lost my temper,” said Rainbow, “I said I was going to talk to Twilight and accuse Pinkie of having an affair with Muffins. Then I went too far, I threatened to slap her for fantasizing about Muffins during sex.”

There was a tears rolling down Rainbow’s cheek.

“I’m so, so sorry Muffins, I lost my head, I know you and Pinkie could never do that. I guess after all these years of denial, I’ve become quite possessive of Pinkie.

She told me this morning about contacting you, Twilight, about changing her last name to Dash and dropping the Pie. I never thought I could feel this much love for anypony, so the thought of Pinkie being with another pony hurt so much.”

“The princess signed those papers and I have them in the library. We were going to give them to you at dinner tomorrow,” said Twilight.

Muffins hugged Rainbow, Rainbow cried hard.

Zecora looked at the ground, as if in thought, then she spoke to Twilight.

“What was the spell, Shooting Star did use;

I must know, or Pinkie we may loose.”

Twilight started to speak in terms only she and Zecora understood. It was if they were speaking in another language.

“I know this spell, if your words are true;

It is one that was known to my tribe too.
There must be preparation of the mind, you see;

Or trouble with the results there will be.
If the mind isn’t bound to the spirit, or so I’ve heard;

Then more than the life-force is transferred.
Instead of the spell being a means of salvation;

It becomes a vehicle of possession!”

“I doubt Shooting Star knew of this, or had time to do the preparation,” said Twilight. Then Twilight’s eyes went wide and looked at Muffins, “or perhaps he did know this!”

“Oh no!” said Muffins in horror.

“That makes sense,” said Rainbow, “Pinkie’s been having nightmares about her crash. She’s in a dark tunnel and there’s a stallion she describes as gray with red mane and tail.”

“Shooting Star!” exclaimed Muffins and Twilight.

“He tells Pinkie when he gave her his life, he took hers. Then Pinkie is drawn into what can only be described as Tartarus.”

“There’s no more room for debate;

We must act before it is too late!”


Author's Note

1 Human
2 My apologies for any glaring errors in using Swahili words between Apple Bloom and Zecora. They aren’t to be interrupted as using proper Swahili language or grammar. It is representing words the race of zebra would have picked up in the ancient past.
3 Ibid, Book 3, Chapter 3.
4 Freeze
5 Sleep

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