Into the Muffin of Madness

DJ Record Scratch: Alright ponies, I heard some crazy things on this job. Including this whole event with this mad pony. But what I’m about to report is something I never thought I have to say. Twilight Sparkle, our beloved princess and protector, was pony napped. Now, don’t panic ponies. She is alive and well, if not a little sticky. Apparently, the attacker try to use animals to hurt Twilight but fail to train any of them. I have Twilight in the studio to talk about the event. (Sound of chair turning.) Okay, let’s get one question out of the way. Why didn’t you captured the pony?
Twilight: Well, I’m not the police and he didn’t hurt any pony but himself so far.
DJ Record Scratch: Yeah but what if he finally decided to cross that line?”
Twilight: Then believe me, I will be the first to take him to jail. But I have to agree with Brute Force, we are just hyping this up. Soon, we are going to cause a witch hunt and we are going to do his job for him.
DJ Record Scratch: I understand. Then why did you sic those animals on him?
Twilight: Oh, that because he mistreat those animals. Those poor things.
DJ Record Scratch: Careful, you sound more like Fluttershy.
Twilight: Believe me when I said that he lucky Fluttershy wasn’t there to see that.
DJ Record Scratch: So you really think he can’t cause any really harm?
Twilight: Believe me, I could write pages on everything he did wrong. I don’t think he used realrunes on the cuffs, just scribbles in magic marker.
DJ Record Scratch: Well, I’m getting word from our producer that we need to go on break. We’ll talk more after the break but now a word from our sponsors. Are you in need of a new best friend? Then come on down to Fluttershy’s animal cove. She got fishes, she got snakes, she got animals you haven’t even try. And she also got animals from the other side. Now, the weather.