The Derpy I Know And Love Volume 4: And The Children Shall Lead

Candy Mane looked up from her paperwork. She recognized the two ponies who just entered the office. Rainbow Dash was the captain of the local Weather Team, she was by often to visit with one of the fillies. And who didn’t know Pinkie Pie, no, she corrected herself, Pinkie Dash. These two ponies, along with their four friends had saved Ponyville and Equestria on several occasions. Here were real celebrates and heroes.

“Hello Rainbow and Pinkie, what can I do for you?”

“Hi Candy Mane, we’re interested in adopting one of your fillies.” Said Pinkie.

“Her name is Scootaloo.” Said Rainbow.

“Scootaloo?” asked Candy Mane, “Oh yes, Scootaloo West-Wind. A good filly, a little bit of a hoof-full at times, but heart as big as all Equestria.”

“Oh we know that,” said Rainbow, “she’s friends with my best friends’ sisters.”

“And daughters,” interject Pinkie.

“I’ve been giving her flying lessons for the last few years,” finished Rainbow.

“So that’s what you’ve been doing with her. Some of the very minor behavioral issues vanished when she started taking lessons. Thank you for working with her. Sometimes our kids go un-noticed and they’re the fillies and colts that need attention the most.”

“It’s been our pleasure,” said Pinkie, “Rainbow and I’ve decided Scootaloo would be a perfect addition to our family. Who better to take care of a Pegasus filly than the best flier in all Equestria. Plus, in the Dash home, there’s more than enough love to go around.”

“That’s what we like to hear. When children get Scootaloo’s age, it gets harder to place them with a family. So here is what needs to be done.”

Candy Mane turned and took a packet of forms from some shelves behind her desk and set them on her desk.

“These need to be filled out in full. We’ll need personal information from the two of you so we can do a background check, standard procedure, nothing implied. You’ll need to give six personal references, not family, and then the information goes before the board for a decision.”

“How long does that take?” asked Rainbow.

“Two to three weeks, normally.” Replied Candy Mane.

“I was concerned because I heard she was being moved to Cloudsdale soon.” Said Rainbow.

“Yes she is, but we should have a decision before then.” Said Candy Mane. “The process is to make sure the children entrusted to us by the Crown get the very best homes. We’re not here to block children from getting loving families.”

Pinkie’s eyes glowed yellow, there was a yellow aura around the packet of forms as Pinkie levitated the paperwork off the desk. Candy Mane was taken aback.

“I’ve never seen an Earth Pony do that!”

“Long story,” said Rainbow with a sly smile, “we’ll get these back to you as quickly as we can.”

“Thank you and good luck,” said Candy Mane as they left the office.

In the hall they saw Scootaloo. Scoot was always happy to see them.

“Rainbow, Pinkie, What’re you doing here?”

“Oh, we had nothing better to do so we decided to get a cat to play with Tank, but there weren’t any available right now. So instead; we thought we’d come here so we could get a ton of paperwork to fill out. What a pain, a cat would’ve been easier. I hope the snot-muzzled little brat is grateful, I detest paperwork.”

“Yes,” said Pinkie with one of her smiles, “paperwork is sooo boring.”

“Paperwork?” asked Scoot, “what paperwork?”

Pinkie let Scootaloo see the papers.

“Adoption papers?” asked Scoot, hopping what she was hearing was what she was wishing, “no way… Really?”

“I don’t know,” said Rainbow teasing, “I just can’t get my mind around ‘West-Wind’.”

Scoot’s eyes got bigger. Her hopes coming to fruition.

“Yes,” said Pinkie to Rainbow, “I don’t think I could ever get use to that. Unless it was a deal-breaker, I think that’d have to be the first thing to go.”

Pinkie then looked at Scootaloo.

“What do you think of... Scootaloo Dash?”

Scootaloo squealed like Sweetie Belle as she jogged in place. Rainbow and Pinkie giggled at Scoot’s reaction because it was the way they felt as well.

Rainbow and Pinkie worked hard to get the paperwork filled out correctly. Twilight and Muffins helped a lot. When told they needed six personal references, Twilight told Rainbow whom better than three of her fellow wielders of the Elements of Harmony, Applejack, Rarity and herself.

“What about the other three?” asked Rainbow.

“I thought about them from the start,” said Twilight with a grin. “I think I can arrange some letters of recommendation from some ponies that’d be hard not to take notice.”

“You mean...”

“Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence,” answered Twilight.

A couple days later, Diamond Tiara was at home doing her homework. She had some to make up because she’d been distracted in class and there were the clandestine meetings with Sweetie Belle at the movies or just hanging out at Sugarcube Corner or the clubhouse which made her fall behind on her work. But she felt all the kissing and hoof holding was worth it. She and Sweetie were falling deeper in love, and they weren’t sure how much longer they could keep it under wraps.

Sweetie Belle had shared with her the books that Rarity had got for them. They were excited, confused and embarrassed with some of the pictures and descriptions. Rarity had also made them Pinkie Pie Swear they’d not try any of this before they had a chance to talk to her about it, she impressed unlike Spin the Bottle, this wasn’t a game and not to be taken lightly.

Diamond had been let in on the fact Rainbow and Pinkie Dash were trying to adopt her friend Scootaloo. As her father came in the room, she thought she might ask about Scoot.

“Hey daddy,” said Diamond, finishing up the last problem. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure Baby, what is it?”

“You know my friend Scootaloo. She’s so upset she’s going to have to leave her friends because she’s graduating. You’re chairpony of the Children’s Home Board. Can’t you do anything to help her?”

“Sorry Honey,” said Filthy Rich, “she’s too old for the home. Besides, she’ll be around other Pegasi.”

“But I heard Rainbow and Pinkie Dash wanted to adopt her.”

“Like that’ll happen while I’m on the board.” Replied Filthy.

“What do you mean daddy?”

“Listen Honey, it’s my job to make sure the children entrusted to the board get good homes with decent ponies.”

“But I know Rainbow and Pinkie, they’re some of the nicest ponies around,” said Diamond.

“Look, you’re probably too young to understand, but Rainbow and Pinkie aren’t fit ponies to be around normal ponies. Mare-lovers don’t need to be polluting the mind of an innocent filly. And I’m going to do my best to block the adoption anyway I can. It doesn’t matter if they do have references from three princesses.”

“Why would you deny my friend a loving home?” said Diamond, not believing what she was hearing.

“Mare-lovers have no right to be around normal ponies! That’s that! If I could get my way I’d throw every mare-lover out of Ponyville… No, out of Equestria!”

“But daddy…”

“I can see hanging out with the sisters and daughters of mare-lovers has made you soft. I should have realized that from the beginning, from now on, you can only hang out with Silver Spoon and only when she’s not around those other fillies. Don’t argue! I’ve spoken and I mean every word!”

Filthy started to storm out of the room. Diamond got up and started to leave as well.

“Where do you think you’re going, young filly?” demanded Filthy.

“I’m going to the library; I have to get some information for a report.”

“Well get back here quickly.”

Diamond was going to the library. There was something she’d read about and she needed to get help with it. She’d tell Twilight Sparkle everything, she was sure she’d get all the help she wanted.

AJ and Rarity had dropped by the library to say hello when the Dash’s came storming in. Rainbow was mad enough to chew nails and spit chain, as AJ would put it. Pinkie was a crying wreck.

“I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!” thundered Rainbow. “Just who does that Filthy Rich think he is? Celestia?

I know Celestia and he’s no Celestia!

Celestia wouldn’t think of sending such a letter!”

Pinkie was in a corner weeping hard, Muffins was trying to console her.

“Let me see that letter,” said Twilight.

Rainbow and Pinkamena Dash,

I’ve done the preliminary review of your application for the adoption of Scootaloo West-Wind. Your background checks and personal references are spotless.

However, on further review, due to your unnatural and perverted lifestyle, I’m afraid the request will be denied.

Fillies and colts entrusted to this board must be protected from situations that would impede normal development, and possible sexual endangerment from morally deficient, predatory and deviant ponies.

This still has to go before the full board, but it’ll be my recommendation the board turns down the request.

Filthy Rich

Chairpony, Ponyville Children’s Home

“That Filthy Rich! I’d kick his bigoted face right off his bigoted head,” shouted Rainbow, “if it didn’t land me in jail!”

Rainbow then noticed that Diamond Tiara had come into the library.

“I’m sorry you heard me say that about your dad,” said Rainbow.

“Don’t be,” said Diamond, clearly something was bothering her. “Right now, I’d hold him down for you.”

“Why?” asked Twilight.

Diamond told them some of the conversation she’d just had with her father.

“Wait here everypony,” said Rainbow walking to the door, “jail’s goin’a be no biggie with the satisfaction I’m goin’a feel.”

“Please don’t,” said Diamond, “I’ve a different way. Mrs. Sparkle you know about official paperwork.”

“Yes.” Twilight replied.

“I would like for you to do some for me, I don’t have any bits, but I can work for it.”

“Don’t worry about that Diamond,” said Twilight, “what is it that you need?”

“I believe it’s called an ‘Emancipation of Minor Order’.”

Twilight looked puzzled and thought a moment. The other ponies looked curious as well. This was no little request.

“That’s rather harsh,” said Twilight.

“He said mare-lovers have no right to be around normal ponies. If he had his way, all mare-lovers would be thrown out of Equestria.”

“That’s very noble of you to stand up for other ponies, but I don’t think it’s any reason to divorce your parents,” said Twilight.

Diamond was blushing.

“Twilight, it does affect her,” said Rarity, Diamond gave her a little nod. “Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle have been dating secretly for some time.”

“Is that what the books were for?” asked Twilight, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“Yes, Mrs. Sparkle,” said Diamond, “we’ve read them, but we’ve not done anything more than kissing, I promise. We told Mrs. Apple we’d talk to her before we thought about doing anything else.”

“You can believe her,” said Rarity, “but I guess with her father’s attitude, I can understand her request.”

“Are you sure about this Honey,” asked Twilight, “this is a big step. It may change your life in ways you might not have thought about.”

“I’m sure, just as sure as I love Sweetie Belle.” Said Diamond, the ponies around her smiled. “I don’t want to do this, I love my father. But he’s just as liable to kick me out when he finds out I’m in love with a filly. But I can’t be around his bigotry any longer and be quiet. This time it directly affects me, my friends and especially the pony I love.

I plan to tell him right now how I feel and I’ll be bringing Sweetie Belle, if she’ll come with me.”

“She’ll go Diamond, I guess you’ve an answer for Sweetie Belle.” Said Rarity with a smile.

“I have, I had an answered all the time. But I was trying to figure how to break it to other ponies, and to my parents. I guess this is the time to do it.” Said Diamond, “but I need to see Sweetie Belle and give her my answer first. Do you know where she is Mrs. Apple?”

“She’s where she spends most of her time after school, at the clubhouse,” said Rarity.

“Listen Diamond,” said Rainbow, “I think that’s very brave of you, and it’d be fair to say we all here are so proud of you taking up a stand under such a hard situation. But I think this might be a way to fix our Scootaloo problem also.”

“How do you mean,” asked Twilight.

“I think with the backing of his daughter, proof of his bigotry, will have him removed from the board if he continues with his attitude,” said Rainbow.

“I thought after the fight thing, he’d changed. I guess his feelings went underground,” replied Twilight.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Sparkle, Mrs. Dash,” said Diamond, “I’ll help anyway I can, and if I don’t have to use the paperwork, I won’t. But he doesn’t need to hurt other ponies just because his head is up his flanks.

(The ponies smirked at this.)

But if I have to, I’ll use the paperwork and go and live at the Children’s Home if need be.”

“That’s a very mature attitude, Diamond,” said Twilight. “And you’ll not have to stay at the Home. I think I can name a few ponies who’d be happy to take a brave and intelligent filly in to their homes, right girls?”

There were comments of agreement all around.

“I’ll draw it up now. I do have the authority to sign it, you know.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Sparkle, I’ll pick it up when I come back with Sweetie Belle,” then Diamond added with a smile, “my fillyfriend!”

“No Diamond,” said Twilight with a smile, “you two are far too mature for that. Say rather ‘marefriend’.”

Diamond flashed a larger grin and trotted out the door.

After Diamond had left, Rainbow looked at her friends;

“Girls, I don’t think Filthy Rich deserves a daughter that special.” Then looking at Rarity, “you better let Sweetie Belle know she’s a ‘keeper’.”

“I think Sweetie already knew,” replied Rarity with a smile. “In spite of their age, they’re two ponies who love each other so much they want the togetherness more than sex. I know a lot of stallions and mares who never reach that level of maturity in their relationships. And I’m going to make sure they know I support them.”

“I think everypony here will do the same.” Said Twilight, “I think I have some paperwork I need to do.”

Twilight looked up the reference and started on the order for Diamond Tiara.