Background: Consulting Experts and the Value of Pink Party Planner Ponies

Between semesters last year, future Dr. Haystacks had a bit of free time and thought to study the Sonic Rainboom. Since only one living pegasus had ever produced one, there was just one place to go: Ponyville. A small town servicing farms on the edge of the treacherous Everfree Forest, it has never been much of a tourist destination.

He had studied the notes of previous researchers, and discovered a few things. First, that her house was the highest flying cloud house in town, which would make it easy to find. She was apparently the local weather mare, with aspirations of joining the Wonder Bolts. Haystacks was not a fan of their shows, personally, but he could understand the appeal to others. Also in the notes were the methods tried by the first five researchers. Two had replicated the original course Ms. Dash had been flying when she did the Rainboom, while the others had stripped it down to combinations of dives and straight-aways. None had been sucessful. There had been three other researchers since then, but Ms. Dash had rebuffed all three. This meant he could not just go straight to her and ask for her cooperation. First, he needed to find a way to convince her.

Haystacks had made the journey from Cloudsdale with two rather full saddle bags. Besides not being certain what equipment would be useful, he had always been an over-packer. No need for clothes at this time of year, but he just did not feel comfortable without a lab coat handy. And maybe a hat. Hats were good.

Landing lightly in the town square, a few heads turned but no one seemed especially interested. From what he had heard, Ponyville's economy had grown from the trading of produce to being a crossroads for all sorts of goods, so strangers in town were likely not an uncommon sight. Just as he was wondering where to start, he became aware of a high-pitched sound behind him. Turning to face the source, he found it was produced by a pink earth pony with distinctly poofy hair.

“Eeeeeeeee” the pony vocalized what he was hoping was not a seizure or something else of the sort. He was not THAT kind of doctor.

“Eeeeh! A new pony! And I mean new new! I know every pony in town, PLUS every pony who's ever been to town, and I'm sure I've never seen YOU before!” she said, talking a mile a minute. Haystacks followed reasonably well: graduate students new to presentations often talked at that speed, though generally not with that much enthusiasm. He had been guilty of that himself, for that matter.

“Er, yes, I'm on vacation and...”

“Oh I looove vacations! I love love love them! You get to go all sorts of new places and meet all sorts of new ponies! But here I am, staying in Ponyville, and I'm meeting a new pony!”

“Sorry, could you slow down a bit?” he said.

“Oh, I'm the one who should be sorry!” she said, “In fact, my friend Rainbow Dash, she's the local weather mare, says...”

“Rainbow Dash?” Haystacks was the one who interrupted this time. He figured that if he only spoke when she paused to take a breath, this conversation would never get anywhere. “She's actually why I'm in town.”

“Oooooh,” the pink pony said, looking the newcomer over, “Do you liiiike her?”

“What?” Haystacks was a bit confused by this turn in the conversation, “I've never even met her.”

“Well that's weird. You should like-like someone you've never even met!”

“I never said I did.” Haystacks was beginning to question the usefulness of this conversation, but she DID claim to be a friend of Rainbow Dash, and he needed information. “I'm a scientist doing research...”

“Oh! My sister Maud is going to be a rocktologist! She researches rocks. And that DOESN'T just mean looking at them. I made THAT mistake! She exaaaamines them,” and here the pink pony made some vague gestures with one of her forehooves, “And learns all kinds of things about them!”

“Right, but not my field,” Haystacks said. That name sounded vaguely familiar, but he could not quite place it. “I'm here to study the Sonic Rainboom, actually. Forgive the delayed introduction. I am Needling Haystacks. Soon to be Dr. Haystacks” He put his hoof to his forehead as if tipping a hat, though he was not wearing one at the moment. He liked the look of the gesture, regardless.

“Oh, I'm Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you Mr. Needling Haystacks soon to be Dr. Haystacks!” She imitated his gesture, then stuck out her hoof.

“Errr, just Haystacks is fine,” he said, bumping her hoof.

“Well okay Just Haystacks, you can call me Pinkie! All my friends do! And you may not know it yet, but I'm going to be one of your bestest friends ever!”

As Pinkie said this, she put her foreleg around his shoulder. Haystacks was a bit uncomfortable with this, and he was not sure where this conversation was heading. The name Pinkie Pie also rang a bell. He seemed to recall a note in some of the records he had studied. Something like “knowledgeable about the locals, but tends to take up a lot of time.” Based on his observations thus far, that seemed an accurate assessment.

“Thank...you?” he ventured, “Er, so, as a friend, would you be able to tell me about Rainbow Dash?”

“Of course!” Pinkie Pie took out a small doll with a rainbow mane and tail from somewhere and placed it at eye level. “She was born on a dark and stormy night. Though it wasn't dark and it wasn't stormy and it wasn't night. So more like a bright sunny day.”

“Wait!” Haystacks interrupted, “Maybe I should be more specific.” He was peripherally aware that no one was taking particular notice of this odd production. Pinkie must do this sort of thing a lot.

“Rainbow Dash has been approached eight times in the past about researching the Sonic Rainboom,” Haystacks continued, “The first five, she cooperated, but the last three, she rejected outright. Do you know why?”

“Hmmm...” Pinkie put her hoof to her chin in thought. “Weelll, I know she really reallly wanted to do another Sonic Rainboom, but she never said why she turned those last three to come through away. Ooh! But I know!”

Haystacks cocked his head. Where was she going with this?

“We have to have a 'welcome to town to do research' party! Rainbow Dash is sure to be there, and you can ask her yourself!”

Haystacks blinked. “That's...”

“Oh, it's no trouble at all! Lotta planning to do, bye!”

“But you didn't tell me...” Haystacks said just a hair too late, “...where... to... go.” He sighed and shook his head. Best thing to do now was find the local inn, he supposed. It would be nice to set his saddle bags down, and maybe find a bath to relax the kinks his wings had developed on the flight.

“Yeah, I can tells yah where it is,” said a stallion selling fruit in the square, “Sure you don't want to buy a cherry first?”

Haystacks had the distinct impression he was being extorted. Given the small size of the town and the fact that he could fly over it if necessary, it was hardly reasonable for the fruit seller to expect to make a sale in exchange for directions.

“No thank you,” he said firmly.

“Suit yourself,” the fruit seller shrugged, “Right that way, turn left, then it's on the right.”

Haystacks said his thank-yous and trotted on his way. This town had a lot of colorful residents, if nothing else. He smirked to himself at his bad joke.

Once checked in, Haystacks took off his saddle bag harness and stretched his wings. It was such a relief to not be carrying the weight. He opened up the bags and took stock. His personal labcoat was wrinkled, of course, but he felt that a labcoat had to be at least a little disheveled to have any credibility. He wished he had had room for a hat, though. Safety goggles were handy in the outer pocket: essential gear for flying in unfamiliar skies. It would have been impractical to bring a telescope, but he had brought a small sextant, just in case an interesting astrological event happened while he was here. Then of course there was a high-speed camera and attached timer, for use if he could get this experiment together. He wished he had more of those, but a shortage of equipment was one of the drawbacks of doing research on your own time. There was also a clip-board and a pair of notebooks. One contained his notes on previous scientist's attempts, the other was for notes on this trip. Finally, there was a quill and an inkwell. He opened up his notes and looked for the entry on Pinkie Pie. The writing was very difficult to read. He knew some unicorns could write with pretty fine control using magic, but when all one had were wings, needs must.

“Good source of local knowledge, but be prepared to spend a lot of time getting at the relevant information,” he read. That seemed a fair assessment. Snapping the book shut, he prepared for a nice soak.

Some time later, Haystacks asked at the desk where Pinkie Pie would be if she was holding a party without telling the guest of honor where it would be. The mare at the desk chuckled.

“Did that to you, too, huh?” the light green mare said, “That's happened a few times. Pinkie lets those little details slip through the cracks sometimes. 'Least she told you there WAS a party. Sometimes she rushes off without telling the new pony there is one.”

Haystacks could not help but laugh, albeit partly in exasperation. Still, if he was going to get this experiment off the ground, he was going to need an inside line on Rainbow Dash. He soon got directions to a place called Sugarcube Corner and was on his way.

Sugarcube Corner turned out to be a small mom and pop bakery, with living quarters above. According to the hotel clerk, Pinkie Pie worked there. Haystacks did wonder how she found time to do any work if she was constantly planning parties.

"Be right there!" a pleasant female voice said from the next room in response to the bell on the shop door. Not Pinkie Pie's voice, though. Haystacks assumed it was the proprieter.

"Well howdee do!" the mare said, wiping her hooves on her apron as she came in from what was most likely the kitchen. "What can I do for you? Looking for a cake? Because you've found one!"

She giggled at that. Haystacks did not get it, and it must have shown, because she clarified. "That's me, Mrs. Cup Cake."

"Oh, uh, Haystacks. Charmed," Haystacks said, flittering his wings a little. He realized a beat too late that that was not really an appropriate greeting gesture for non-Pegasi and hastily touched his hoof to his forehead. Manners were not his strong suit, especially when it involved cross-tribal interactions.

"I'm not here for cake, anyway," he said, "I was looking for Ms. Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh! So you're the new pony in town?" Mrs. Cake said.

"Errr, just visiting I'm afraid," Haystacks said, "I'm here doing research."

"Well now, that sounds interesting," Mrs. Cake said, "Pinkie just ran in here, said something about needing a cake for a new pony, and rushed off with one. I wonder where she went?"

"Mmf," Haystacks murmured in irritation. Not asking if he even wanted a party was bad enough, but not giving him a way to find it really took the cake, so to speak. "Do you have any idea where she might be holding this party? She neglected to tell me."

He tried very hard to keep the irritation out of his voice, but he did not think he was entirely successful.

"Hmmm," Mrs. Cake said, considering, "I think you're best shot would be to ask around her usual party spots. That's town square, the library, and Sweet Apple Acres."

Haystacks looked at her quizzically. "The library?"

"There's no full-time librarian," she said. Haystacks was not certain that that explained anything, but he let it slide.

"Alright, then, would you mind writing down directions?"

The merchants in the town square had not seen Pinkie Pie since earlier, so the next stop was Golden Oaks Library. Haystacks looked up from Mrs. Cake's crudely drawn map.

"Oh, I get it," he said, seeing that it was built into some sort of oak tree. That really should have killed a normal tree. Magic must have been used to make a tree grow around the space. Why expend that much magic, though? These thoughts ran through his head as he knocked on the door. Getting no answer, he carefully opened the door and looked inside. Seeing nothing, he walked in.

Inside, there was a curved hollow. It made sense with the organic building, but made it harder to store books. There was a partial second floor, where there seemed to be a bed for some reason. Perhaps the intent was for a full-time librarian to live there. A pile of unshelved books sat in one corner. There were little bits of confetti on the floor, probably left over from the last time there was a party here. The part-time librarian must not be here enough to keep those things straight.

There was no sign of a party in the works. Haystacks checked the reference desk just in case there was some sort of note. He found the card catalogue under the desk, but the only note was probably from the librarian. It read "Pinkie: Please be sure to clean up all the confetti next time! -Amethyst Star." The latter must be the part-time librarian.

Before leaving for the next destination, Haystacks looked around at the relatively small library. Despite its size, being out here in a small town, there just might be a few rare gems that no one had noticed before. If he had time later, he would have to come back and browse.

The final destination took a little longer to get through. In comparison to getting from point A to point B in Canterlot, though, it was a down right leisurely trot. The road that ran out of town led to a fence with a wooden archway. Beyond this was a fair-sized clearing with a small plot of corn to one side and buildings elsewhere. Besides the main farmhouse, there was a chicken coup and pig pens. Further back were more fields of corn and wheat as well as orchards on one side, and what looked like a carrot farm on the other.

In the clearing, as hoped, were obvious signs of a party in the making. Streamers hung from and were strung between poles that appeared to have been recently erected, and a similarly makeshift-looking pavillion sat off to one side, towards the pig pen. A banner hung over the pavillion reading "Welcome Just Haystacks!" There were also some haystacks set up around the space. The pink pony he had been looking for was nowhere to be found, but there was a rather young yellow filly carrying feed towards the chicken coop, followed closely by an orange mare.

"Hello there!" Haystacks called out as he trotted over. The pair looked over as the younger was opening the gate... and was swarmed by chickens trying to get at the feed.

"Woah there!" the orange mare said, grabbing the bucket and running into the pen. "Heeeere chickchickchickchickchick."

Haystacks quickened his pace with the vague notion of helping, but the orange mare had managed to lure the birds back into the pen well before he got there.

"Apple Bloom! Get the gate!" the orange mare said as she poured out the feed.

"Right!" said the yellow filly who was apparently named Apple Bloom.

Haystacks was now nearly at the gate and slowed his pace.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I didn't mean to cause a ruckus."

"No harm done," the orange mare said as she emptied the feed bucket, "Just bad timing is all."

"Oh, you must be the new pony Pinkie Pie was talkin' about! Just Haystacks?" the young filly said excitedly. She was quite young: a few years too young to even potentially have her cutie mark yet.

"Y...es," he said hesitantly. Word really got around fast here, "Needling Haystacks, actually. I meant the "Needling" could be dropped, and some other bits she thought were part of my name, but..." he shrugged.

"Heh heh. Yeah, that sounds like Pinkie Pie," the orange mare put in as she slipped out the gate, "I'll see to it the sign is changed. I'm Applejack, and this here is Apple Bloom."

Haystacks nodded to each in turn. "You're a bit early for the party, though," Applejack said, "I'm teachin' Apple Bloom here how to do some of the chores, but feel free to wait wait inside if you want. Granny Smith's in there, and I'm sure she'd appreciate the company."

"Thanks for the offer, but actually I'm here to ask a few questions. I was going to ask Pinkie Pie, but maybe the two of you would know," Haystacks said, "The first would be, when is the party? Pinkie Pie never told me. Never told me where it was for that matter."

"Yeah, she does tend to get a mite carried away and forget these little details," Applejack said with a chuckle, "Well, if I remember correctly, she said we'd start an hour before sunset."

"That means I'll miss most of it," said Apple Bloom forlornly.

"Ah, good, that gives me some time, then," Haystacks said, "For the rest... can I follow along and talk? I'll try to stay out of your way."

Applejack considered this for just a moment. "I reckon that'd be fine. Sloppin' the hogs is next. Apple Bloom, you go get the slop bucket."

"I'm on it!" Apple Bloom said, trotting off towards the farmhouse. The other two trotted over towards the hog pens nearby.

"Well, I'm here to research the Sonic Rainboom. I was hoping to find someone who would know something about it or Rainbow Dash," Haystacks said.

"Well I don't know much about that there Sonic Rainboom," Applejack said, opening and closing the door to the hog pen. It squeeked, which set the pigs on alert. "But Rainbow Dash has lived here in Ponyville for awhile now, and I might have picked up a thing or two. But ifn' yah don't mind my askin', why don't you just ask her directly?"

Apple Bloom made it back at this point, sloshing around the bucket she was carrying. "Sorry, I think I spillled some," she said. That was an understatement: the bucket appeared to be about half empty. Or half full, depending on how you looked at it.

"Well, I reckon that'll be enough. We'll feed 'em any food that's dropped on the ground at the party, so they'll need a light meal now," Applejack said. By this point, the pigs had settled down some, so when the gate squeeked open again, they did not act startled.

"Here's the thing..." Haystacks said, pausing to ponder how to phrase this. "Judging by the notes I have, Rainbow Dash has rather flatly turned down the last three researchers who asked for her help. My guess would be she's frustrated with failing to produce another Sonic Rainboom. So I can't just ask her directly or the same thing will happen. I need some sort of leverage. Like, what does she like? Would there be something she'd accept in exchange for her cooperation?"

Applejack was leaving the hog pen by the time his explanation was done. Apple Bloom responded first.

"Well I know she likes flying fast," Apple Bloom said, "She's always zipping all around Ponyville, showing everyone how fast she can fly."

"She also likes them there Wonderbolts," Applejack said, "So maybe something to do with them? Not sure what'd be enough, though." She took a look at Haystacks as she considered something.

"She's also right competitive," Applejack said, "So maybe you could challenge her to an arial race? Meaning no disrespect, but I don't know that you could win. She really does fly pretty fast."

Haystacks considered this, lost in thought and nearly missing the other two heading for the next destination: one of the orchards. He noticed before one of the Apples thought to say something about it. The pair of mares looked back at him occasionally, but he did not ask anything else and took little notice of what they said and did, operating mostly on auto-pilot. He had the seed of an idea, and he was working it over in his mind. He had read about Rainbow Dash's abilities. Some previous researchers had also made notes about her limitations. So if he did this... and set up this... assuming she would accept those terms of course...

His reverie was broken by a tap on his leg.

"Hey, you alright?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I was just askin' if you had any more question," Applejack said by way of explanation, "But you weren't answerin'."

Haystacks ruffled his wings a little to shake off the remnants of the zone-out he had done.

"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking," he said. Then a grin spread over his face. "I think ya'll have given me a great idea."

"Really?" Applejack asked, "What is it?"

Haystacks shook his head. "Sorry, don't like to say until I've worked it all out," he said, "But if I'm right, you'll find out soon enough! See ya'll tonight."

He took to the skies and waved back at them.

"See you toniiight!" Apple Bloom called after him and waved back.

Haystacks realized as he flew that he had slipped back into his old accent. It happened sometimes when he was around those with similar accents. He filed that thought away and returned to the matter at hand.

Back at the hotel, he cleared off a space on the table, took out a notebook, quill, and ink well, and began to scribble in the fast, virtually illegible style he used when trying to get out an idea before he lost the thread. He had to stop and find some books in the local library at one point. He found them relatively quickly, resisting the urge to stop and skim half the books in their vicinity, and jotted his name on the catalogue cards before returning to his room and continuing the work. It was 5 past the hour before he left for the party, having lost track of time. But everything checked out, as far as he could check it. If Rainbow Dash accepted the challenge, and if everything went right, then he would get his research data.

Author's Note

Minor changes were made as I realized the Maud reference in the next chapter, combined with a rough timeline for "Bedtime Stories" and a planned follow-up require that he not have a doctorate yet at this point.