You Can't Always Get What You Want *

Stalwart Shield walked down one of the the long corridors that eventually connected to the main entrance. His mind raced as he played back Cadance's words in his head. He couldn't believe a sitting princess would not only condone, but encourage his brand of dishonorable cruelty. He hoped that Celestia and Luna would stay missing for a long time, allowing him and his fellow debaucherous guards to have free reign under Cadance's new rule.

"Let the good times roll," Stalwart Shield said, smirking. He thought that the first thing to do was find the other recalcitrant guards and inform them of the new regime's policies. All the subversive sentries used to be in the same regiment, until their commanding officer sensed dissension brewing within the ranks. When their superior realized that the unruly whole was greater than the sum of its parts, he scattered Stalwart Shield and the rest of his disorderly friends. Each guard was moved to a different regiment in order to curb disobedience.

To prove his loyalty to Princess Cadance, Stalwart Shield knew he needed to be the one to find the fugitives and bring them in. The guard was about to open the large front doors of the main entrance, when they were magically-opened from the outside.

Into the castle trotted the pony Stalwart Shield despised above all others. He was a blue unicorn guard with a narrow face and a short, black mane. He was taller than Stalwart Shield, but not nearly as bulky.

The guard was known as Vigilance and he certainly lived up to his name. His cutie mark was a golden door crossed by two silver unicorn horns. Vigilance was the second in command of the royal guards, and he was the one who gave the order to scatter all the disobedient guards to different regiments. Stalwart Shield and Vigilance had a mutual hatred for each other.

The petulant pegasus stood there, face-to-face with his nemesis. They stared each other down. Stalwart Shield squinted his already beady eyes. The unicorn was the first to speak.

"Shield," Vigilance said, contemptuously, "I haven't seen you since I separated you from your little friends. I hope you've managed to keep out of trouble." Stalwart Shield gave a smug smirk.

"Yes sir, Vagilance," the pegasus said, mocking the guard's name, "I almost didn't recognize you without your brown-nose up Shining Armor's butt." Vigilance was shocked that the guard had the balls to insult him like this to his face. Stalwart Shield didn't care. Now that he answered directly to the princess, there was nothing Vigilance could do to him. The pegasus continued his merciless taunting.

"When Shining Armor abandoned his post to go bang his sister, everypony thought you were the shoo-in to be the new captain of the guards," Stalwart Shield said, rubbing the unicorn's failure in his face, "I bet you were shocked when Cadance made herself captain instead of promoting you. Life's a bitch, ain't it?"

Vigilance smirked at the cock-sure pegasus. The unicorn knew he would have the last laugh. Tugging on a chain with his magic, Vigilance dragged another blue unicorn into view, who had been standing outside of the castle's entrance.

It was Orion, wearing a chained collar. Vigilance was levitating one end of the chain as he dragged the fugitive into the room. Vigilance gloated at the stunned look on Stalwart Shield's face.

"I caught this intruder attempting to sneak in," Vigilance said, proudly, "and likely foiled an assassination attempt in the process." Orion looked incredulously at Vigilance.

"I was walking down the main path in broad moonlight," Orion said, deflating the unicorn guard's ego, "I came here to turn myself in." Stalwart Shield snickered as Vigilance shot Orion a stern look.

"Sounds like you had to work real hard to nail this perp," Stalwart Shield said sarcastically, "You must be bushed. Why don't you hand over the prisoner to me and I'll take it from here?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Vigilance said, narrowing his eyes, "You should show more respect to your superiors."

"You're not the boss of me anymore," Stalwart Shield said, defiantly, "I've been given a special assignment by Cadance herself." Vigilance looked dubiously at the pegasus guard.

"I'll need to hear that directly from the princess," Vigilance said, cautiously.

"Hear what?" Cadance asked, as she entered the main hallway. Vigilance and Stalwart Shield stood at attention.The pegasus guard turned around and stood to the left of Orion. Stalwart Shield wanted to give the impression that he also played a role in the fugitive's capture. Vigilance shot his fellow guard an angry look out of the corner of his eye.

"Now, what was it you wanted to ask m..." Cadance said. Her words trailed off as her eyes made contact with Orion. Two guards stood on either side of her love, who was in chains with a collar around his neck. The scene was playing out just like the start of her wet dreams. She wanted to throw Orion to the ground and start fellating him right in front of everypony, but she decided to play it cool. Taking a deep breath, she tried desperately to keep her lustful desires in check.

"Well Orion, it seems you were only able to elude your fate for so long," Cadance said, staring at the stallion as though she couldn't believe he was really here and expected him to vanish at any moment.

"We both know it's me you want," Orion said through gritted teeth, "I'll submit myself to your will. You may do with me as you see fit. All I ask in return is that you spare the lives of my family." Cadance smiled devilishly.

"A noble sacrifice," she said, "but I'm afraid it won't do. Your family still has to pay for their traitorous activities." Orion was crestfallen. Cadance looked at Vigilance and Stalwart Shield.

"Guards, take him to my chambers," the princess said, "I plan on interrogating him... personally. Once you've secured the prisoner, stand outside my bedroom and make sure he doesn't escape. I'll inform the other guards to start searching the castle grounds. If Orion is here, his loved ones can't be far behind."

Cadance didn't know how right she was. A white unicorn mare hid behind a pillar in the main hall, listening in on the conversation. She wore a long cloak so as to cover her face and body. Only her nose and mouth was visible. It was Orion's wife Dazzle, who had successfully infiltrated the castle.

The mare secretly watched as Cadance left to go order the other guards to scour the alleyways for the rest of Orion's family. Once she had gone, Vigilance and Stalwart Shield walked towards Cadance's chambers, with Orion plodding along behind them. The two guards continued to bicker with one another as they walked side by side. Their conversation about who deserved credit for the capture became so heated, that they didn't even notice Dazzle sneaking up to whisper into their prisoner's ear.

"You will not have to sleep with her," Dazzle whispered as she quietly walked beside Orion, "I told one of the servants that the princess requested two glasses of wine be brought to her chambers. Cadance will die when she drinks the wine. I poisoned one of the glasses."

"Which one?" Orion whispered, so as not to alert the bickering guards.

"I put the poison in the chalice from the palace," Dazzle said.

"The chalice from the palace?" Orion repeated.

"Right. The pétillant with the poison is in the chalice from the palace," Dazzle said, "But you don't want the chalice from the palace. You want the flagon with the dragon."

"I want the flagon with the what?" Orion asked.

"It's a tall metal flagon with a figure of a dragon." Dazzle said.

"Does the flagon with the dragon have the pétillant with the poison?" Orion asked, growing more confused.

"No," Dazzle said, exasperated, "The pétillant with the poison is in the chalice from the palace."

"The palace from the chalice?" Orion asked.

"Chalice from the palace." Dazzle said, correcting him.

"What about the dragon with the flagon?" Orion asked, "Where's the pétillant with the poison?"

"In the chalice from the palace," Dazzle said, growing more frustrated, "Don't you see? The chalice from the palace has the pétillant with the poison. The flagon with the dragon has the wine that is fine. It's so easy to remember!"

"Well then you sleep with her," Orion said, petulantly.

"Listen carefully," Dazzle said, "The chalice from the palace has the pétillant with the poison. The flagon with the dragon has the wine that is fine."

"The chalice from the palace has the pétillant with the poison," Orion repeated, "The flagon with the dragon has the wine that is fine."

"Just remember that," Dazzle said, "and I want you to know how much I love you. Your whole family is here supporting you." With those words, Dazzle left Orion's side and ran down a branching corridor. A lump formed in Orion's throat. He knew he wasn't in this alone.

"The pétillant with the poison is in the flagice with the chagice...," Orion muttered quietly. The guards continued to argue with each other while Orion desperately tried to remember the location of the poison.

Eventually the guards brought Orion to Cadance's room. They led the prisoner inside and removed his collar. Once the guards had left the room, Vigilance stuck his horn into the circular keyhole in order to magically lock the door. The two guards stood watch outside the room. Stalwart Shield continued to cast furtive glances down the hall before slowly starting to inch away from the door.

"Don't even think about abandoning your post!" Vigilance barked, "We were given direct orders to watch the prisoner!"

"He's not going anywhere," Stalwart Shield said, dismissively, "Besides, I want to be the one to bring the rest of his family to justice. I don't get lucky breaks like criminals falling into my lap. I have to actually work for my arrests!" The pegasus stepped away from the door.

"I command you to halt!" Vigilance shouted.

"You can take your command and shove it up your ass," Stalwart Shield said, raising his own tail for emphasis, "So long, Vagilance! Have fun guarding the door! Maybe if I'm feeling generous, I'll leave one of the fugitives for you to find." The guard then jumped into the air and flew quickly down the hall.

Vigilance stood at the door, grimacing. Sweat dripped down his face as he kept glancing between the locked door and the long hallway.

"Dammit," he said, quietly. The unicorn then left his post and galloped down the hall to join the hunt for the rest of the fugitives. He wasn't about to let the lazy and shiftless Stalwart Shield best him at anything.

Meanwhile, inside the room, Orion saw a pair of eyes staring back at him from outside the high tower window.

"Aaaah!" Orion screamed. He calmed down when he realized it was only Twilight, who was standing on a small cloud outside of Cadance's window by means of a cloud walking spell. Orion ran to the window and recited what he had memorized.

"Twilight!" Orion said, "I've got it! The chalice from the palace has the pétillant with the poison. The flagon with the dragon has the fine that is wine... er, wine that is fine."

"That's right," Twilight said, "but there's been a change." Orion's face fell and his eyes grew wide. He asked Twilight what she meant.

"They broke the chalice from the palace." Twilight said, dishearteningly.

"They broke the chalice from the palace?" Orion said in disbelief.

"It's been replaced with a quaich." Twilight said.

"What's a quaich?" Orion asked.

"It's a shallow, two-handled drinking cup," Twilight said, "but that's not important. What is important is that the chalice from the palace was replaced by a quaich with a picture of a jay."

"The quaich with the jay?" Orion asked. Twilight nodded her head and indicated that a new cup had been poisoned.

"So one of the cups is poisoned," Orion said, growing frantic, "What's pictured on the poisoned cup?"

"No, What's on second base," Twilight said.

"I'm not asking you who's on second!" Orion shouted.

"Who's on first," Twilight replied.

"I don't know!" Orion yelled.

"He's on third," Twilight said, dismissively.

The two ponies had gotten off track due to the stressful nature of their mission. They stared blankly at each other and took a moment to recollect themselves. They each took a deep breath before continuing.

"Mom couldn't get close enough to poison the quaich with the jay," Twilight said, "so she had to pour the last vial of Zecora's poison into the flagon with the dragon."

"So the pétillant with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon and the quaich with the jay has the wine that is fine?" Orion asked.

"You've got it," Twilight said, "Now I've got to go find the rest of the family. The entire castle is crawling with guards." She ducked her head down, then popped back up to deliver one final message.

"I may not have always shown it, but I love you," Twilight said.

"I love you, too," Orion replied.

Orion stood alone in the room for what felt like a long time. He looked around Cadance's ornate bed chamber. She had a desk with a large vanity mirror on it. A golden letter opener was placed beside a stack of official Canterlot Castle stationary. Her heart-shaped bed was covered with rose petals. Orion wondered if her bed always had rose petals strewn on it; and if not, why were they there tonight?

Such thoughts were interrupted as Cadance entered the room. She was angry when she realized that the two guards she set at the door had abandoned their post. However, her mood immediately improved when she saw Orion standing defiantly by the window. A seductive smile crossed her lips. Cadance was about to close the door behind her, when somepony cleared his throat from out in the hall.

It was a teenage colt with an orange mane and an off-white coat named Atlas. He worked as an errand colt in the castle. Atlas was levitating a tray that carried a flagon and a quaich, each filled with sparkling wine. The colt was so intimidated by Cadance's presence that he had a difficult time holding the tray steady. The cups wobbled as the colt shook with fear.

"I... I was told you could use some refreshments," Atlas said in a cracked voice that was halfway through puberty. Cadance smiled at him.

"Interrogation is thirsty work," the princess said as she used her own magic to take the tray from Atlas, "Thank you." Once the wine was inside the room, Cadance closed the door on the colt's face. The princess turned and walked slowly towards Orion.

"I'll do whatever you ask," Orion said, "I'm willing to be your slave, provided you spare my family."

"We shall see," Cadance said, coyly. Orion stood before the princess, with only a small end table placed between them.

"A flask of wine, a book of verse... and thou," Cadance said, quoting one of her favorite poetry books. She set the tray on the end table before Orion. The stallion wasted no time in claiming the quaich with the jay as his cup. Cadance levitated the flagon with the dragon to her lips and sniffed her wine's heavenly bouquet. Orion hoped that the poison was completely odorless, as Cadance seemed to be keen on the finer art of wine-tasting.

"A toast!" Orion declared hastily, raising his quaich, "To achieving your goals!"

"To achieving your goals," Cadance said as she raised her flagon.

Both ponies then levitated their respective glasses to their lips. Orion kept his eyes locked on Cadance's mouth. Zecora's words echoed inside his head.

"One sip and Cadance's life is through."

The lip of the flagon touched her own lips and she slowly began to tilt the container back, when she suddenly stopped herself.

"Wait!" Cadance said. Orion stopped himself from drinking his wine as he sadly watched Cadance pull the flagon away from her lips.

"I think it would be much more romantic if we drank out of each other's glasses," Cadance said, "Just like they do in the movies." Orion gave a nervous gulp and started to sweat. Cadance levitated the flagon to Orion's lips as he moved his unpoisoned cup to her mouth. He didn't know if the poison in the flagon was only capable of killing Cadance, but he wasn't about to risk it.

The princess slowly started to tip the flagon back against Orion's lips. Pulling his quaich with the jay away from Cadance's mouth, Orion used his cup to knock the flagon away from his lips, causing the two glasses to spill their contents onto the floor.

Oh, what's the matter?" Cadance asked innocently. Her face then went from naive to stern as she lowered her eyebrows and stared evilly at Orion.

"I could order up some more wine," Cadance said, darkly, "Would you prefer the unpoisoned glass this time?" Orion felt his heart skip a beat as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Cadance towered over him menacingly.

"I knew all about your little plot to poison me," Cadance said, "Did you think I was stupid?" The princess crouched down as though she were some sort of jungle cat, ready to pounce. She crept towards Orion, forcing him to walk backwards until his back was pressed against the foot of her heart-shaped bed.

Cadance forced Orion onto her bed, scattering the rose petals as he went. He lay there panicking. Nothing had gone according to plan. Cadance crawled onto the bed and rested her head on Orion's chest.

"I'm not mad at you," Cadance said, in an obsessed tone, "I could never be mad at you. You're panicking because you love me. You aren't sure how to resolve your feelings for me when you already have a family. Well, don't worry. I'll take care of everything." Orion gave a nervous gulp.

Cadance listened to his irregular heartbeat and assumed it must be due to the fear she was inducing. She nuzzled up under his neck and told Orion something that made his blood run cold as ice.

"While your son and his changeling whore still elude me, I have managed to capture your wife and daughter," Cadance said, "I've left them in the capable hooves of a special kind of royal guard, one I picked out especially for his salacious cruelty." Orion had to force himself to keep from crying as he imagined Dazzle and Twilight's fate.

"Take comfort in the fact that I won't kill your wife and daughter," Cadance cooed as she rubbed a hoof across Orion's chest, "Dazzle and Twilight will both have new lives, hidden deep within the castle dungeon as cum dumpsters for a whole regiment of corrupt guards."