Morel Lunatics

Chapter 6

I had gotten us both messy so we decided to shower after that. Luna had refused to let me be by myself. I think she was concerned that I would hurt myself. I was desperately trying to convince her not to worry.

“You don’t have to watch me, you know. I can shower by myself.” I was trying to keep the curtain closed as I washed, but Luna kept opening it to unashamedly spy on me.

“I do as I wish. I am a prick, remember? Besides. I do not understand your desire to hide yourself when wet.”

“It’s not that… It’s.. Oh...” I groaned. I couldn’t explain it without explaining that I’d been exposing myself to her.

She cocked her head, “If it is fair, you may watch me when it is my turn. I do not mind.”

I flushed at the thought. It wouldn’t be any different, she would just be standing there, getting water all over her. But I’d still get to watch her shower. I’d never done that before. It felt kind of weird thinking about it. Did it make me some sort of pervert?

“Fine. You win. Gawk away.” Nervously, I began to wash myself with body wash. Luna curiously scrutinized me as I used my hands to rub the soap over me.

First, I worked it up into a lather, and then worked it into all my hairy parts. It was awkward working it around my junk, but Luna didn’t even flinch. Then I proceeded to roughly rub it into my skin.

“Tell me...” Luna continued to watch as she softly spoke, “When did you first begin to feel attraction to me?”

I had no reason to hide my feelings, but that didn’t make me want to talk about them. Still, she deserved to know. I turned away from her, letting the water run down my back as I spoke. I couldn’t look at her, but I couldn’t deny her request either.

“Last night. I fell asleep on the bed while you were playing your game. I woke up in the middle of the night, and got lost staring at the stars in your tail.” After what had happened earlier, telling her wasn’t so hard actually, “And then your tail blew to the side and I saw… underneath it. That reminded me that you were a girl, you know?”

She was silent. I guessed that it was out of disgust at me. “I get it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been peeking, but, what could I do? I hadn’t meant to at first.” I was making excuses.

She continued to say nothing.

Guilt began to gnaw at me. I’d probably upset her, and worse, it was by betraying her trust again. I was probably the worst being she’d called friend in a long time. “I’m sorry, Luna.”

“T’s… we apologize as well.” She shook her head rapidly, causing her star filled mane to swirl. “I mean, I’m sorry.”

I sighed. She didn’t have anything to be sorry for. I was the creep.

“It takes thought to control my tail and mane, and I had become swept up in the game. I was not thinking much of it, and additionally believed you to be fitfully asleep. It was inappropriate and unbecoming. And beyond that, I had… done something similar.”

I found this confession confusing. Thinking of her actions, I tried to figure out what she meant. As far as I could tell she had been completely innocent in her actions towards me. I had noticed no sexual intentions whatsoever from her actions.

When she spoke, she sounded hesitant. “Before you returned entirely without your clothing, I hadn’t realized that you had no tail. You have no natural means to cover yourself, and I had foolishly begged you to remove the artificial ones you wore. I too, attempted not to look. But your body was different, and I have not seen one quite like it before.” I could almost hear her blush, “I am most ashamed to say that I continued to peek.”

I flushed red. So she she had known that I was being indecent in a way. And she hadn’t said anything, but instead had kept up the act—so that she could keep looking. I should have felt violated, but for some strange reason I didn’t. She had looked at me, my uncovered self, physically and emotionally, and she hadn’t looked away. I felt better about things, even if the situation was strange. We had both been a little bit selfish.

We were quiet for a minute. I continued to stare at the wall, and she presumably watched my back. I briefly thought that maybe she was oogling my ass, what with it having no tail and all. Maybe that was a turn on for her? I felt strangely guilty at the thought. I decided to ask her to help ease my confusion. Maybe she knew things I didn’t.

“Hey… Luna.” I had a few questions.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if what I did made me bad. I guess, what I mean is, am I a bad guy?” I don’t know why I asked. Maybe I didn’t want to be a bad guy anymore.

“What thoughts drive you ask such a thing?” At first she sounded confused, but then she continued with more confidence, “I must know your motives to answer your question honestly.”

I didn’t see why I shouldn’t tell her, “I feel guilty about what happened, but it still makes me, you know, excited.” I remembered her saying “harlot” and shuddered slightly. My little victory had left me queasy and incredibly turned on. “I can’t help wondering if maybe there’s something wrong with me. I mean, more than I already know.”

Luna looked thoughtful for a moment, and then spoke slowly as she worked through it, “We are complex creatures. My motives are many, as are yours. There are many drives that define us. They are all necessary for life, but when they cause us to hurt others, they become sins. Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Vanity, and Pride are commonly known. I am guilty of all of these, as are you.”

So we were then, “So are we bad people? If we do those things?”

She blinked, “Only if we continue to hurt others with them.”

“Did I hurt you?” I didn’t want to know, but I already did. I needed to hear it.

Luna spoke honestly, “You… did. It was not pleasant, thinking those thoughts. I had felt much betrayed.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to look her in the eyes.

“You have apologized already. You have been forgiven. But it is not always so easy.” She sighed.

I felt crappy again. I wondered why I always hurt everybody. Every time I started to think about things, I’d come up with some plan, or win some game, and it would lead me to victory. And then everybody hated me. Winning didn’t make me friends.

Luna paused for a moment, “I myself have been guilty of all of them, to include their king: Pride.”

She hadn’t talked about her past much. I was curious, “What happened?”

“I decided to overthrow my sister. The reasons were many, but the sin was Pride. I was deluded. I hurt many in the process, and due to Pride, my Wrath was unleashed upon the innocent and guilty alike. I was a very bad ‘person’.” Luna wasn’t looking to me as she talked, instead focusing on the wall.

That didn’t sound like her at all. “But you’re so… nice. And understanding.”

She sighed an unhappy sigh, “I have learned. I have grown from what I was into what I am. I have lost much as well. Perhaps my magic isn’t as strong as it had been when I attempted my coup, but I am stronger now in other ways. Was I bad? Yes. Am I still? Perhaps. But I am less so.”

I listened. What else was I to do?

“I still hurt others with my sins even though I try not to. We as creatures must strive to grow, and the largest hurdle to that is always ourselves. Our wants seem as needs, and we make mistakes. You made a mistake, such a thing is common and I shall not sentence you for it. I have made uncountable mistakes.” As she finished, she looked at me with sad and dark eyes.

I remembered my little victory, and I was torn. I could see her, moaning in my mind, and I felt guilty. The incongruous thoughts hurt. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was degrading, but I couldn’t stop imagining it. I couldn’t stop remembering her face when she gave in. “What if I liked being bad? What if I liked… my mistake?” I was a terrible person.

Her answer was slow and thoughtful, “You have a desire. There is no shame in that. We all have desires. The sin was your cross-lay. It was intended to take from me what I would not wish to give. Without regard for my being, you took what you desired. It is difficult to maintain one as a friend if you treat them as such.”

“So I’m bad then?”

“Not as much. You decided upon the wiser course of action, and returned to me my dignity and yours.” I was so very close to doing the opposite. In my fantasy there was no dignity, “And so your sin was much less.”

I still wanted her. I knew it was sick and wrong, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m afraid.”

Her voice was clear, “And what do you fear?”

“Me, I guess... I was close, Luna. It was harder than it should have been. A good person wouldn’t have had to struggle.”

She pressed me, “And why did you struggle so?”

I thought about it. Why was I struggling with this? I just admitted it openly, she already knew anyways, “Because… I want you.”

“Such things are inevitable.” She sighed wistfully, “I am desirable.”

I didn’t laugh. I didn’t think she was joking anymore.

A thought crossed my mind, distracting me from my own problems for a moment, “Is it something you deal with back home?”

“Yes. Others approach me due to my mystery and allure. I am the ‘Goddess of Dreams, Princess of the Night!’... It sounds exciting, does it not?” She chuckled softly, “Then they discover my other side and fear me. It is a cycle that I have grown accustomed to.”

I could be different. I knew I could. “I’m not afraid of you, you know.”

She was condescending when she spoke, “You should be. I will hurt you.”

And I knew I would hurt her too. I’d already betrayed her once, I would inevitably do it again. I was a bad person. So I said something difficult. All the good decisions seemed to be the difficult ones. “Then maybe you should go.”

Luna stomped her foot, “We should say not! After the troubles though has’t brought us we shall be staying!” She huffed angrily and then took a breath to calm herself, “Besides. I am concerned that if I am not here, you shall hurt yourself.”

I continued to stare guiltily at the wall. If I drove her away, what would I do to myself? She was probably right. I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew it inside. I didn’t think about it, instead focusing on her.

If she stayed, it would be painful. I figured that maybe she’d understand that.“You know that I am going to keep wanting to have you in that way, right?”

“It will likely happen.” She chuckled in an amused fashion.

She didn’t understand. I needed to make her understand,“What if I try to hurt you again? Like before.”

“Why would you do that?” She sounded surprised. Of course she didn’t get it. She thought the best of me. She thought I could ignore it and better myself. She didn’t know me, she just thought she did. She couldn’t understand.

I spun around, clenching my fist in anger and spat out, “Because I will still want you!”

She grew completely confused, “But dos’t thou desire to hurt us?”

“I..” I let my anger go. It wasn’t going to help, and I knew it. Of course I didn’t want to hurt her. “No.” Getting angry wouldn’t help her understand me.

“Then we do not understand the problem.”

I decided to explain it in the same frame she’d used earlier. “What if my, you know,” I gestured towards my mini me, “‘drive’ gets the better of me, what if that causes me to hurt you?”

She repeated herself, “Dos’t thou desire to hurt us?”

I shouted at her, “No! I said that already.”

She grew loud and frowned, “Then what dos’t though desire?”

I couldn’t help it. Anger began to claw its way up my spine. All I could figure was she was fucking with me, so I shouted, “I told you! I want you!”

She shouted back, stomping her hoof, “And we hath told thee, ‘T’s likely!’” Luna furrowed her brow in frustration, “We fail to understand the cause f’r thy vexation.” Her eyes glinted dangerously, and her next words sounded more like knives, “Art thou mocking us?”

I glared at her, clenching my fist, and talking both loud and slow,“I. Am. Not. Making. Fun. Of. You.” We both needed to calm down. Whatever I’d said was quickly pissing her off, and I wasn’t far behind.

She didn’t appear to believe me at first, but then turned her head away and shouted at the wall, “Thou art a natural! We shall leave thee t thy grooming.” She turned the rest of the way and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving me alone and confused.

I grumbled to myself and returned to haphazardly washing as I thought about what she said. It took me a full minute to understand what she had meant. I even dropped the soap when it hit me.

“It’s likely to happen.”

Oh. She had meant sex.