Chapters Chapter One: Rough Starts
With a whistle and a heavy shunt, the train carriage finally came to a stop. Moments later, the carriage doors opened before me, smoked clearing to reveal the busting Trottingham platform. I took one cautious look outside, before a gathering crowd of ponies eager to get to work, forced me from the carriage and out onto the cold concrete of the platform.
I let out a tiny eep, my nervousness demanding I do so as I narrowly avoided falling into the gap between the carriage and the platform. About me, ponies far larger than myself, dispersed out into the virtual sea of equine bodies. Today, a Tuesday to be precise, most were finely dressed business ponies heading off to work in bigger, more illustrious cities like Manehatten and Canterlot.
There were a few exceptions to that specification however, one of which was myself. A small, sad, little puddle, afforded me a glance at that exception as it reflected my equally pitiful image.
I was a petite, violet coated, unicorn mare with a dark blue mane and tail. A sharp, white streak though the latter pair, was about the brightest my appearance achieved, besides my teal eyes. My cutie mark was a long stem of lavender, surrounded by several green leaves.
I'd still little idea what the mark even meant. Then again, I'd little idea what any of my miserable life meant any more. I had no home, no family, certainly no job and even fewer friends, if that was even possible. Right now, that felt like least of my problems however, and as I looked at my relatively sleek figure in the puddle, I gulped at just how soon I might lose that too. In fact, I’d pretty much lost my looks already, the bags under my tired eyes, my messy mane and the tattered, brown saddle bags slung over my back, were already the perfect testament to that.
But were where my manners? Oh yeah, probably with the rest of my ruined life back in Manehatten.
My name was Lavender. To be honest, I’d always considered it the most boring name ever. Why name somepony after the colour of their coat? In truth, my mother had never really been one for good names, and I'd been the last in a long line of siblings to finally get mine. A family of rejects and failures, I might add. Now, it was finally my turn to fulfil that traditional role in my own special way. In fact, given my current state, I liked to think I'd set a new record for just how far a mare like me can fall.
The world seemed to agree, as before I could even take a step forwards, an oblivious pony trotted blindly through the puddle, splashing me right in the face. I squeaked in alarm, then noticed the passing stallion responsible for my recent bath trot away relatively unscathed.
"By Celestia, why me?" I groaned to myself, wiping the dirty water from my face best I could, and moving on into the cover of the station before any more little nuisances could find me.
The Trottingham station itself, was huge. There were at least six platforms and a vast array of shops and cafes, all of which were covered by a large, glass roof and crisscrossed by a whole manor of bridges. Even so, it was nothing compared to what I was used to back in Manhattan, not that I'd ever get a chance to see that oh so great city again. I'd spent the last of my bits just to get here, so Trottingham was now my home, weather I liked it or not. It had either been here or Stalliongrad, and I’d chosen here because it was furthest away from the life I'd been so abruptly kicked out of.
Finally reaching somewhere dry, and after a rather desperate run to the little fillies room, I finally set about looking for what I'd come here for, a job. Moments later, I levitated a small piece of ripped newspaper out of my saddlebags. I’d found it a week ago in the Manehatten times, and upon it were brief directions to several places hiring throughout Trottingham.
My ambitions were disturbed a moment later however, as a loud grumble emanated up from my gut. I let out a tired groan, levitating the paper aside and rolling my eyes. I was hungry, very hungry, and most ponies would say for good reason. But, for a filly in my predicament, that reason was anything but good.
"Look, I have no bits and therefore no food, so by Celestia please shut up!" I called back over my shoulder, seemingly to nopony in particular.
All my stomach did was growl loudly again then, as if the world just loved to force me down further, the scent of warm food caught my nose. My hungry eyes moved over to the source of the smell, and frond one of the station’s many cafes. Its front was decorated by a delicious array of daisy sandwiches, daffodil salads and sizzling hay fries. My hunger quickly took hold, and I was almost watering at the mouth before I finally snapped myself back.
"No. By Celestia, no food!" I declared firmly, stomping a forehoof.
At that, some of the passing ponies glared at me like I was some kind of crazy mare and, realizing I’d just called a great deal of attention to myself, I sank down as low as I could, smiling sheepishly.
"What did I tell you? I need to get a job or we’re both screwed." I hissed back at my stomach, through gritted teeth.
There was a short moment of quiet, then another obnoxiously loud grumble. The next breath to escape my muzzle was a long and arduous groan. Finally, I looked back to my worn piece of newspaper, in an effort to ignore it. A Hay Burger Town just down the road was first on my list of potential jobs. Yet, the thought of the food they’d be serving there only made my cravings for a decent meal grow more. I forced that hungry instinct right back to the furthest corner of my mind with a mental buck. Then, I battled to ignore the tingling sensation in my stomach as I made for the station’s exit.
I had seven chances to get this right, seven jobs available. I also had an equal number chances to screw it all up, just like the rest of my family, and knowing my luck, I’d do just that. After all, I was the latest in a long line of the failures. But, as far as I knew, I was the first of those rejects to be starting a whole new doomed lineage of my very own.
Oh, did I forget to mention the gleaming jewel upon my crown of mishaps? It was the one great screw up that had finally exiled me from my failure of a family, and granted me the false luxury of isolation after only five weeks of dragging it around. I was pregnant.
Chapter Two: Job Hunting
Please, don’t ask me who the father is, because quite frankly I still have no idea. He was undoubtedly just some good looking stallion who’d gotten me drunk late one night after work. A fun night that I'll never recall, and one that undoubtedly ensured he’d walked away with a spring in his step, while I was stuck with the foal he'd never even know was his.
I didn't know which part of it made me feel worse, the fact that I’d missed out on the one pleasurable experience in my relatively recent life, or that I didn't care. I'd hated working at that stupid bar anyway, all the bucks there just treated me like something they could buy. A few times, I’d wished I was the pony who was only interested in somepony else for their goody bag. I also wished I could be somepony who could walk away from such things without a care in the world.
The tingly nausea in my gut was a monument to the fact that neither of those wishes would ever be true, not that I cared about that either. Nevertheless, after four weeks of relatively normal life, the sickness had forced me to take a test, and the smiley face that it had turned up. had heralded the loss of my life. It only took a week after that for everything I knew to completely fall apart. That was why I’d wound up here, with no bits, my bags and the rest of my unwelcome baggage.
I looked down at the cracked sidewalk as those thoughts crossed my mind, my hooves dragging lazily against the pavement as I walked. Seven jobs, four ponies saying no, one closed sign and one "we'll be in touch." Any hope that I’d had for that last one, had now died however. It had done so the moment I’d seen the pretty mare who'd gone into the interview after me. She'd been dressed all fine and fancy, what I’d assumed to be her supportive parents had been manufacturing her into a paragon of business excellence, before offering her kind words as she’d boldly entered in my place.
That idea made me want to scream, yet the only thing to suffer my wrath was a small pebble as I kicked it aside and trotted on. It was getting dark, the sun was setting and the only things to light my way were the street lights, and those of the stores either side of me. I'd found myself in a less desirable corner of town, and as if the graffiti and boarded windows were not enough, the looks several passing ponies gave me did more than unsettle my serves. Yet, as my horn flared and I levitated out my greatly reduced list of jobs, I laid eyes upon the last hope.
Nightlights, was the sole name remaining upon it. I'd hoped that my search would not have to come to this. But, it seemed the only establishment I was good for was a bar, or nightclub in this case.
“Well, at least the application shouldn't be too hard,” I assumed. “So long as you don’t mention your current predicament, you should be able to get a few paydays in before they catch on.”
My thoughts were abruptly interrupted seconds later as something warm and firm hit my muzzle, forcing the levitating scrap of paper flat against my face. Recovering from my initial shock, I pulled the paper away to see a flaming wheel. No, a cutie mark?
"Hey watch it!" A rather large, gray stallion shouted, turning to me sharply.
I shrank back, stashing the paper back in my tattered bags.
"Urm, I'm sorry. I, I… I didn't see you there." I stutter timidly.
The larger buck merely snorted, shaking his head with a low growl.
"You're lucky you're cute filly" He grumbled, before turning away.
I swallowed my fear, taking his words as a complement rather than an insult. Then I looked ahead to see a long line of similarly gruff ponies.
“So this was Nightlights?” I mentally surmised, catching a glimpse of the bold sign above the far end of the line, and cautiously trotted forwards.
I made it only a few steps however, before I found another pony between myself and the door. He was a large, black, earth pony stallion, whose eyes were shielded by a set of dark shades.
"Urm... I... I’m here for the job opening?" I squeaked weakly, levitating out the scrap of paper.
It was no surprise that my moving right to the front of the line, disgruntled a lot of rather mean looking ponies still forced to wait. But, I was not here to have fun, so what were they missing if they let me past? The security buck tilted in his head, peering over his dark shades with one green eye, then he smiled. It was a sly, almost wicked grin.
"Very well, go right on in" He offered, stepping aside and motioning to the doors with a hoof.
I shivered again, but swiftly obliged. The inside of the place left about as good a first impression on me as I had on it. It reeked of smoke and alcohol, not to mention the scent of more than a few sweaty ponies. The air was thick, and hung like a heavy blanket over everything. Bright colored lights flashed and laser beams lanced across the smoke filled darkness. The bold illuminations revealed a shimmering dance floor filled with raving ponies, the smooth surface under their hooves a rainbow of light.
At the far end was a stage. A rather wild looking white DJ, with electric blue mane and eyes covered by purple shades, controlled a vast assortment of booming equipment from atop it. She certainly was producing an awful lot of noise, and as the thundering electronic music mixed with the sound of chatter, I could hardly hear myself think.
“Well, at least your employer wouldn't be able to hear your stomach growl in here, not like the last few awkward times.” I thought.
In fact, the only evidence of my condition was the slight cramp in my gut, and I could ignore that for now. Slowly, I made my way through the frantic sea of ponies and towards the brightly lit bar. Most were once again, larger than me. It was at times like this, that I really hated being such a small mare. Eventually, such pushing and shoving deposited me right before the bar however, and by sheer chance, an empty stool that I promptly placed my rump upon.
I tried not to glare at the ponies either side of me as I waited for any kind of staff member. That took far longer than I was expecting however, and after a while I began inspecting my worn hooves. When I finally grew tired my cracked and aching limbs, I set about twiddling a set of straws that sat upon the bar top beside me.
The place was hardly any different to where I’d used to work in Manehattan. But, I knew I couldn't make the same mistake as last time twice. At least, I didn't think I could get pregnant while I was already carrying another pony’s luggage?
"So, what can I get you sweetheart?" A sharp, sly voice suddenly asked, and I almost tumbled back of my stool in surprise.
Seconds later, I clumsily recovered and looked round to see a green coated buck, with black mane and tail looking at me skeptically from across the bar.
"Please, if you want to go and hurt yourself do it outside." He said drily, but his words were lost to me as I fished out my scrap of paper.
"I'm here about the job opening." I stated, placing the paper down on the bar and looking at him hopeful.
He looked back at me like I was an idiot, then scratched the back his neck and cocked his head, seemingly perplexed. I nudged the paper forward gingerly, trying not to allow my desperation to show too much.
"Oh, you mean that opening?" He finally realised, and my hopes flared.
"That thing was filled about six weeks ago, must have forgotten about the ad" He stated nonchalantly, and like that, my hopes deflated like a balloon.
"What... But... But?" I fell into a fit of stutters, but once again he just looked at me like I was stupid.
"Look are you going buy anything or just mumble, because I can have you kicked out for that you know?" He asked, and I grasped my words best I could.
“Are you sure? I really, really, really need this job, I'll do anything, just please" I pleaded, but he shook his head.
“Nope, we're good here sorry".
"Please" I insisted.
"Sorry can't help you!" He repeated, growing impatient.
"Please, please, please, please" I begged, ready to fall to my hooves and grovel if I had to.
"So, I take it you're not going to buy anything then?" He asked dryly, completely ignoring my desperation.
I felt my heart sink and my stomach twitch and I shook my head.
"No, I'll just go" I sighed, and at that, he moved on to a more bountiful customer.
“By Celestia why was that never me, why was I always the lowest of the low?” I thought as I watched him leave.
I didn't even have any idea what to do with myself anymore, all I did was slip off the stool and turn back to the crowed with my head held low.
"Hey babe, heard you were looking for a job?" A slurred voice asked me, through a series of hiccups.
My head raised slightly, and it didn't take long for the drunk stallion whose voice I’d heard to present himself. At the first sight of him, I recoiled at the scent of his breath, then fought not to gag at the sight of his sickly smile.
“I may be able to help you with that" He added, clumsily stroking one of my forelegs with a hoof.
I shivered, moving the limb away. I knew exactly what kind of work a drunk buck like him was interested in, and no matter how desperate I was I would not stoop so low.
"No, I... I'm fine thanks. In fact, I was just leaving" I told him, and attempted to move by.
All he had to do however, was raise a forehoof and my escape was cut off.
"Oh so soon, now why would a pretty filly like you what to leave?" He asked, moving forwards.
I backpedalled away until my rump hit the cold, metal legs of the stool, and once again an uncontrollable eep, escaped me.
“Common Lavender, just give the kind stallion what he wants and we can all leave happy. He’ll get some fun, you some bits. Besides, it’s not like you can get knocked up again, right?” My mind offered weakly, but the thought sickened me.
The stallion gave a sick laugh, the reek of his breath like that of a dragon.
"C’mon babe, let's go find somewhere more quiet.” He suggested, wrapping a forehoof about mine.
“Oh by Celestial. how could this get any worse?”
"Hey baby, this little colt giving you trouble?" Came another stranger's voice.
I looked over my shoulder to see another equally drunk blue buck, a glass still in his hooves. Instantly, I thought to nod, but I knew the newcomers intentions were probably about as noble as my rear end.
"How's about you come with me and I show you a real good time?" The he asked, with a wry smirk, completely confirming my suspicions.
I swallowed nervously, and frantically searched for a way out that didn't end with me in one of their beds tonight.
"Hey back off, I saw her first!" The former buck challenged, but the latter stepped between us, forcing his grip on my foreleg to slip.
"Look around, I see a lot more flank! Epically stallions, you look like the kinda guy who's into all that!" The second retorted, before starting to laugh.
"Why you little!" The former growled, before jumping on his verbal aggressor.
Both fell into a drunken hoof fight at my hooves, and immediately I took my chance.
"Hey babe where are you going?" One asked suddenly, then an outstretched hoof dragged me back.
I tried desperately to shake it off, but the fight seemed spared through the drunken mass like wildfire and countless others began to join in. I looked back at the buck who had hold of my hind hoof, only to see him smacked across the back of the head with a stool.
“By Celestia only you could come into a bar looking for a job and leave having started a fight like this!” My mind scorned, then ushered me to leave as soon as I could.
Even so, the fact that I couldn't even do this right stung. Nevertheless, as the buck’s grip slackened, I broke free and made for the door as fast as my hooves could carry me. The sea of scrambling bodies became far rougher, and I was shoved and pushed to the point of almost being crushed. But, if there was anything a lifetime of failure had taught me, it was to push forward and keep trying. Sure enough, that idea didn’t fail me, and the door appeared before me moments later.
“Almost there, almost there” I mentally told myself, reaching out for the handle.
Yet, the world could never be so simple. There was a loud smash, then an explosion of pain in the back of my head, then I fell to the foul smelling floor with a heavy thud.
“Oh well, at least I didn't have to fall asleep on the cold street.” Was all I could think, as pain blossomed through my skull and I finally blacked out.
The Heaviness of sleep hung over me like a warm blanket as my eyes finally flickered open. I felt warm and somewhat woozy, yet seemed in far better a condition then I'd been in a long time.
I was in a bed, a soft, comfortable bed. It was a stark difference to the hard mattress I’d been so used to at home. For a long moment, all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sink deeper into the soft surface under me. That was when I noticed the fine white sheet draped over my legs and body, the bed’s cold metal rim and the fine curtain that surrounded me.
“This was a hospital bed, wasn't it?” I thought to myself warily, the sight of medical stands and monitors beside me confirming as much.
I let out a shallow groan, shifting my head slightly. The pain there had subsided into nought but a dull throb, yet it elicited
another injured wince from me regardless. Rising a hoof, I rubbed the spot to feel a large lump under my mane, but thankfully no stitches.
"Stupid nightclub and it's stupid bucks" I grumbled to myself as I lay back down, then my eyes fell upon my sheet covered mind section
The warm, tingling feeling still radiated up through me, the irritation becoming far more apparent between me rear legs. Five weeks of pregnancy and I hated everything about it already, and I wasn't even fat yet! I placed a hoof on my stomach gently.
“Maybe not, maybe the fall had…? What the hey Lavinder!” My mind abruptly stopped itself.
I knew I hated it, but that though was outlandish. I felt a wave of selfish shame was over me at the fact I'd consider such a thing, no matter how desperate I was. A small cramp in my gut told me that my mind was not the only one displeased with the fleeting idea.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry" I muttered, brushing my hoof over my tummy gently in a weak attempt to be apologetic.
All I could do after that was sigh, and then stared at the curtains around me.
“This must be the Trottingham central hospital?” I assumed, recalling the name from the brief glimpses of pamphlets and newspaper articles I'd seen before making the decision to move.
For a few arduously long minutes that was all that sat in my mind as I sat in silence. Then my stomach gave a loud growl and I rolled over.
"Great to see there’s nothing wrong with you then" I observed dryly, as I shifted my hoof to rub the tingling spot lightly.
Moments later, the quiet was broken as the curtain was cast aside and a mint green, earth pony mare with syringe cutie mark walked in. By the look of her white Hospital coat, displaying a red cross, she was a nurse.
"Hello there, good to see you're awake" She offered kindly, a wide smile forming across her muzzle.
I gave a far weaker one in return as she turned her attention to a clipboard on the end of my bed.
"So, you came in with a concussion?" She asked, seemingly mortalking e to herself than me as she looked over the medical notes.
"Now let's see, brain functions normal, no scars, blood pressure and heart rate fine and..." She paused, her mouth open in a gasp.
I swallowed, recoiling back against the pillow. It all sounded so well, but it was just my luck that something was wrong.
"Sorry miss, I don't really know how to tell you this but..." She trailed of looking at me blankly.
I swallowed nervously, fear creeping through me like a set of barbed vines.
"Congratulations, you're pregnant!"
“Oh', it was that problem?” I relaxed slightly at the confirmation, but her excited expression dissuaded such a response.
“Oh Celestia, she was expecting me to be overwhelmed with joy, wasn’t she? Think Lavinder, think. How does a mare react to something this normally?” I harassed my mind for answers, yet it gave little in return.
"Really?" I stuttered in fake disbelief, placing a hoof on my brow as if I was about to faint.
"It seems so, levels of Oestrone Sulphate in your..." She began, but at the sight of my bewildered expression she paused. "Well, I'm sure you'll be glad that everything seems to be in order with you and the foal. Although, I'd be a little more careful from now on if I were you" She advised, and I fought not to grit my teeth at the patronising words.
That, partnered with the irony that I was being told all over again how much my life sucked, made subduing my frustration increasingly difficult however. yet, all I did on the outside was nod as the problem in question tingled happily in my tummy.
"I could send up a consultant if you'd like. They can explain all that you're going through and what to expect" She offered, but I shook my head.
"No, I... I just need a few moments, could I have my bags? I... I want" I looked about for an idea. "I want to let the father know" I improvised, trying to hide the lie in my tone.
The nurse mare simply nodded.
"Sure thing, I'm sure he'll be very proud" She said kindly, before returning moments later with my tattered saddle bags.
"Now, I've got some patients to deal with in the next aisle, just call if you need anything" She finished, before busily trotting off beyond the curtain.
The moment she was gone I levitated my bags over my front and looked through them. For what it was worth, what little I owned was still there. At that, I slid off the bed, staggering slightly as I stood and placed the bags over my back. Peeking out from the curtain I saw nopony other than bedridden patients and swiftly made for the nearest door.
A part of me felt slightly guilty for leaving the poor nurse to worry, but she was working late in a busy hospital, she'd probably forget all about me before I was gone, and as I snuck out the gilt quickly faded. The tingling nausea in my gut spurred me on more though the maze of white halls, until a trail of irritatingly over sparse signs finally lead me to the accident and emergency reception.
Once there, I found a small waiting room looked over by a curved wooden desk. There were a pair of mares sat behind it, both seeing to a stallion accompanying a mare that had clearly had too much of something. The scent of her remained me all too much of the bucks in the bar, but I pushed back that idea and looked about for an exit. Several doors about the room were labled. Operating Theatre, Consultation and Maternity Ward.I felt my heart sink slightly at the sight of the latter most. I just wanted to leave and find my own way as I always did, I certainly didn't need some doctors to tell me what to do. A light twitch between my legs told me otherwise, and the cramp that followed finally forced me to admit I was lost. At that, I reluctantly joined the line before the desk to ask for directions.
My attention wandered as I stood there, yet the only things that weren't a chairs, walls or old ponies, were the condescending medical posters hospitals were renowned for. So, when all other options for distraction failed I simply looked down at my hooves.
"Well, looks like round one is going well" Came a light, yet boastful voice.
I looked up to see a new pony had entered the room. A ocher coloured, pegasus mare with electric blue mane, amber eyes and blue lollipop cutie mark. She stopped and looked about the place as if the boring, old room were a cheering crowd, then flexed her wings and legs.
"Told um' it'd be a piece of cake" She commented to herself confidently, finishing her emphasised stretch before she moved over to the back of the line, right behind me.
I squirmed slightly at the thought of somepony so close to me. Worse still, she radiated with confidence and seemed to lack all social anxiety, the complete opposite of myself.
“She's only said one thing, and that wasn't even to you” my thoughts stated bluntly, and I managed to force my shyness back into its mental box and straighten out.
All the mare behind me did was inspected her hooves in what appeared to be boredom, then glanced up.
"Goddesses, you have to wait forever in here even at two in the morning, am I right?" She asked, and it took me far longer than it should to release she was talking to me.
I froze, going stiffer than a board as she looked at me with a smirk. Then her wry smile faded.
"Hey, you alright?" She asked quietly, a hint of concern in her voice.
Glancing back at her nervously, I finally found my voice.
"Yeah, peachy. Thanks for asking" I stuttered timidly, and her smile resumed.
"Few” she sighed, wiping her brow. “Thought something was up there. Although, I suppose you're in the best place if there is, right?" She added.
All I did was nod swiftly, wanting nothing more than to be free of the conversation.
"Next" Came a tired call from ahead, and I turned back to see the stallion in line before me cart the intoxicated mare off.
"Hi, I'm looking for directions to the nearest exit?" I asked sheepish, scooting forward.
The mare at the desk sighed, then raised a hoof to one of the doors.
"You wanna go that way, then turn left. After then you wanna..."
A bold "pufft!" behind me, silenced the mare as the pegasus moved to my side.
"Relax Typewriter. I'm heading out now, I can show her the way" She stated casually.
The mare at the desk, now identified as Typewriter, raised an eyebrow.
"Are, miss Pop. Done already are we?" She asked skeptically.
"You bet, I'm all topped up and fizzing. That's why I took the night appointment you see, in and out in no time" She stated, then paused as blushed slightly. "Of course, that's not what it was like, just well... You know what I mean" She corrected swiftly, waving her hooves as if to waft the topic from the air.
Typewriter’s expression remained firmly board.
"Of course Miss Pop, I can clearly understand why they chose you now" She responded dryly, then went to tapping upon one of her keyboards.
"Because I'm the best, that's why" The ochre mare responded proudly.
"Indeed" Typewriter added, then looked back at her blankly. "Well, your next appointment is in a month, please do try not to get into any trouble until then" She told her doubtfully.
The mare “huffed” waving away the comment as she'd done the others.
“They say it's all uphill from here one out right? Besides, how can I get in trouble where I'm heading?" She responded dismissively, but Typewriter merely nodded and called out for the next set of ponies.
All the while I was stood there silently, and all hopes of avoiding conversation with the seemingly obnoxious mare washed away.
"So, looks like you're with me" She stated nonchalantly.
Her words were relaxed and comfortable, as if speaking to a long time friend. I on the other hoof, had never had any friends before and once again my voice abandoned me.
"Well come on then, I don't want to stay in this place any longer" She instructed, before moving to one of the exits.
Swallowing my fear and locking away my anxiety, I hesitantly followed her.
"So, what’s gotten you in here so late?" She asked as we walked, all I did was stutter weakly at the question.
Once again, there was a hint of concern in her eyes. But, like her voice they looked as if they were looking at a long time friend, not some pony she'd only just met.
"Hey, you don't what to tell me, that's cool. Trust me, I know enough ponies to know when to take hint" She added with a slight laugh. "So, how's about a name?" She went on, directing me around a corner and into another long, white hallway.
Her look was more hopeful this time, as if she were really trying to make a friend out of me. For the sost part, I didn't even know why I was so reluctant to take her up on that offer. Having a pony I knew and could talk to around here would do me a world of good. But, ultimately that small amount of dread in my mind bested all other ideas, and I battled not to let the mental conflict show as she regarded me.
"I tell you what. If I tell you mine, will you spill yours?" She asked, then before she could open her muzzle again my mind raced forwards.
“Lavinder!" I blurted abruptly, then stuck a hoof in my mouth.
It tasted awful, like rubber and disinfectant. The pegasus on the other hoof, looked more than a little perplexed at my sudden outburst as she paused.
"My name, it's Lavinder." I corrected, pulling the overly sanitised hoof from my mouth and fighting not the gag.
She smiled, stifling a giggle and hiding her amusement with a wing. All I did was sink back slightly in embarrassment.
"Just Lavin okay?" She asked happily, before I could blush too much.
I thought about that, but nodded none the less.
“It's good to meet you then Lavin" She declared excitedly, nudging my side. “Well, I suppose you told me yours so here’s mine. Hi, I'm Popsicle, best mare this side of Trottingham"
Chapter Four: Turning Point
Chapter Four: Turning Point
"Well, here you are. They really should make it easier to get out of there" Popsicle stated as we both exited the hospital through large set of double, glass doors.
The air outside was cold and crisp, filled with the distant sounds of the city. The only light came from the street lanterns and the bright glow of the Hospital’s sign. Before us, was a large wagon parking area, yet at such a late hour it was mostly deserted. I hadn't said much to my new companion other than my name. She on the other hoof had gone on and on about how boring the places she visited were rather profusely. Yet, for a mare who complained so much she didn't seem all that bad.
Her issues were mild, and each was voiced with a witty confidence that made me want to smile in agreement. Still, I wasn't as trusting of ponies I'd only just met as she seemed. I took a slight sniff of the air, shivering as a freezing breeze chilled my coat, and tugged at my mane. I tried to hide my shivering best I could, tucking my tail between my legs and lowering my head.
"Cold hur?" Popsicle asked, and I nodded weakly. “Bet you think a mare with a name like mine would be used to it? " She joked with a friendly grin. I sniffed, and tried to straighten.
"It doesn't bother me that much either" I assured her with the strongest lie I could muster.
I had no idea whether she believed me or was merely humouring me as she nodded.
"I think it’s about the only thing about being out so late I don’t like" She offered, giving a playful shiver of her own.
Then she ruffled her wings, flapping them lightly.
"Well, it was good seeing you Lavin. Maybe we'll catch each other again sometime?" She said, then beat her wings harder and hovered upwards slightly.
The fact that I was about to be left alone in a place I knew nothing about at such a late time, shocked me back into reality. But what could I do? I had no job, no friends and nowhere to go. A small twinge in my gut didn't help that swelling sorrow either.
"Yeah, see you around" I responded weakly.
Popsical coked her head slightly, seeming concerned for a brief moment. But that look faded almost as soon as it had appeared.
"Sweet" She added, then with a flap of her wings she took off into the night.
All I did for a long moment was stare out into the cold darkness above. Not even Luna’s blessed stars shone down upon me as the bitterer wind nipped at my coat from all directions.
“What was I going to do?” I asked myself.
I had to find something, it wasn't just for my own sake anymore. I looked over my shoulders at my tingling stomach, but the only difference was the warm feeling that still radiated from it.
“Well at least someponie's managing to get some sleep” I thought to myself, imaging how comfortable it must be in there. I meanwhile was probably going have to spend a night on the street.
“Hey, the night was half over right? And it was late summer, so that shouldn't be too long?” my mind offered, in a frail attempt to put some positivity into the situation.
Its efforts were completely in vain, and I only did what I could. I began walking slowly towards the hospital grounds exit.
“Find a tunnel or an overpass, somewhere dry and out of sight” the more practical part of my mind suggested as the rest accepted the dire inevitability.
The sound of my hooves upon the sidewalk slowed at that, and tears welled up in my eyes.
“Was I really this bad? Had I really failed every hope I had?”
I wanted to scream, run and cry all at once. But I was unable to do any of it. Instead, I sat down, shrank back my neck and wrapped my tail about myself best I could for any vestiges of warmth it could offer. All the while, my eyes were cast down out of the cold wind.
“You’ll find a way, you’ve always found away before” I assured myself.
“It's not only your way you have to find anymore though, is it?” My mind corrected bitterly, and I shivered some more before finally moving on a little.
I'd reached the very edge of the hospital’s grounds when something caught my eyes. Another dirty puddle shimmering in the breeze. Yet, when the wind fell silent it showed a purple coated mare looking back at me, a sadness in her quivering eyes. I hatred that mare. I despised her for all she'd done wrong and the fact she had done nothing right to make up for it. Before I could think too harshly however, the wind picked back up and stole the pitiful image in a fit of ripples. All the while it was hammering hard against my side as if to punish me more. At that bitterly cold point, I nearly fell to the ground and collapsed. All my emotionally defences wined and a lone tear ran down my cheek.
“There has to be more, there had to be something?” I muttered under my breath, secretly begging the princesses for some kind of miracle
"Hey!" Came a faintly recognisable voice, and before I could look there was a sound of wings beats and hooves touching upon the ground behind me.
I whipped the tears from my eyes, giving a weak sniff as I looked back to see Popsicle.
"Hey, I was just watching you from up there, and please don't think I'm into that kinda thing, really I'm not, but..." She began, then trailed off with a another fit of flustered babbling, waving her hooves to dismiss it again.
Despite everything, I found the sight more than a little amusing. It was a funny though to lift my spirits at least part way out of the dark pit that had opened inside me. At my somewhat amused response, Popsicle ceased her rambling and looked at me.
"Look, you just seemed really..." She scratched the back of her neck, seemingly searching for the right words. "Really sad, you know? The hopeless kinda sad" She finally admitted, and for a moment I was terrified that it had been so obvious.
"Oh, I... I, I'm sorry I didn't..." I stutterd swiftly.
"What are you apologising for? I should be the one who's sorry for trying to poke my nose where it don't belong" She added with a slight laugh.
Her slight silliness brought me to the verge of a light chuckle, but I tried to hide it as she went on.
"Look, I know it's none of my business. But, a mare out this late, one from the hospital of all places... I just thought?" She trailed off again.
I was afraid what she might assumed of me, not only for seeming me in tears but trying to escape the hospital too. Not that she could know that, could she?
"What I'm trying to say is... Do you have somewhere you can go? Please don't freak out if you do, I'm not trying anything on. I was just well... Worried" She finally told my, sinking back slightly.
I looked at her with a bewildered expression. What was she trying to say? What was she offering? Why would somepony be so concerned about a mare they’d only just met? The questions ran through my mind like a wild river. Such a surge of emotion must have put a rather peculiar expression upon my face because Popsicle faulted as she looked at me.
"I know it's the craziest thing right?" She stated in an attempt to fix her situation, but she continued before anything could come of it. "Look I'm sorry, I shouldn't of asked. I'll..."
She crept back further, then spared her wings.
"Wait!" I called out before I could think, reaching out as if to stop her.
At the sight of my own bold reflexes I sank back sheepishly, hoping the darkness would hide my blush. Popsicle looked only a little less awkward, and folded her wings.
"You're right. I don't have anywhere to go, I was only here because some ponies started a fight and I got caught in the middle" I explained shamefully, those tears fighting their way to the surface one again.
Popsicle seemed both proud of her assumptions, and ashamed of them simultaneously. Yet, she tentatively approached me.
"Wow, sounds ruff" She offered, then paused thoughtfully. "Look, you could... I mean if you what to that is..." She began but the words seemed to clog her throat.
At that her gaze snapped up and she stopped a hoof firmly.
"I have a flat with a spare room not too far from here, you can have the spare if you what" She blurted forcefully, then took a deep breath.
I lifted my head, my eyes still quivering. Was she for real? Were my thoughts of not taking her up on that offer really real? I'd be more of fool than anypony in my family if they were. But I hardly knew her, she could be anypony for all I knew. Only, I knew ponies that were more than just kind, and she didn't strike me as anything more.
I regarded her closely as my mind went to work on her suggestion, all the while she anxiously awaited my response and looked ready to fly away as fast as her wings could carry her at a moment's notice. I took a deep breath, this was either going to be the best decision of my time in Trottingham or the worst.
"Yeah, okay" I squeaked, and instantly her ears perked up and a wide smile appeared upon her muzzle.
"Really?" She expressed with disbelief, and at my nod her smile only grew. "Yes, new roommate!" She cheered, hoof bumping the air as she flapped her wings.
I gave a nervous little studder, as she placed a hoof on my shoulder.
"Common, it's just down this way follow me" She stated eagerly before trotting off down the sidewalk like an excited filly.
I beat back all doubt I had of this new revelation. If nothing else, I now had a home and at least one pony I could call a friend. Little did I know how much the decision was going to change my miserable, little life forever.
After a short journey and an elevator ride that felt longer than the walk, we finally arrived at a long corridor lined with doors, one of which my new companion swiftly approached.
"Pegasi orientated residential" Popsicle told me with a flap of her wings and a slightly apologetic smile. "Probably should have thought about that first" She added.
I just nodded sheepishly, a million suspicions still budding in my mind. She could be leading me away to die for all I knew. Of course that was a rather extreme guess, but there were many other lesser evils that she could be into that were just as bad. My stomach gave a light gargle and I filched, trying to attribute the wild accusation to hormones or something. Popsicle looked back at me skeptically and my expression turned from concern to slight embarrassment as I nudge my growling stomach with my hid leg.
"Sorry, I've not eaten in awhile" I uttered timidly.
"That's fine, I've got some stuff, so long as you're not expecting a banquette or anything" She told me with a slight laugh.
I shook my head.
"No of course not. You don't even have to give me anything I... I'll be fine" I stammered as she unlocked the door.
"You were a mare who was in hospital at Celestia knows what hour and you look half starved to death" She retorted bluntly, and at that my weak argument fell flat. "Giving you food's the least I can do" She added as she stepped inside and motioned for me to follow with her tail.
My mind conjured images of her fattening me up just to eat me or something, and I imagined seeing a large caldron in the middle of her apartment as I entered. It was dark however, and my efforts to stoke those ridiculous fears were weakened as I saw nothing but the gloom. All I could make out was the weak light from the streets outside peeking in from under her curtains at the far side of the room, then she flicked the lights on with a wave of her wing and my fear subsided slightly.
The main room stretched from the front door to a large window, beyond which I assumed there was a balcony. To the left was a small kitchen, separated from the rest of the room by a squat counter. Beyond, was a set of sofas, coffee table and radio, all of which were sat upon a ruff carpet. There were three doors in the right wall of the room, all of which were closed. It smelled less than clean and was just as far from spotless. Yet, it had a strange coziness to it that I adored the moment I felt it.
"Well, it's not much but it's home" Popsicle told me, waving a hoof over her humble abode, only for the lights to flicker. "Sorry about the mess" She added with an embarrassed wince.
I offered my best smile of appreciation.
"It's perfect" I assured her, and she stepped back as if fearing I'd jump up and hug her or something.
"Glad somepony else thinks so" She said with a light laugh, then looked to the kitchen. "Right, food" She stated, moving over to the place with a flash only a pegasus could achieve. "So, what do you like? I've got daisies, oats, apples... Milk?" She began as I recovered from my fluster.
Eventualy, she brought out a loaf of bread from the fridge and set it down on the counter.
"Toast, I fancy some toast, how's about toast?" She asked swiftly, pulling out several slices and moving over to a toaster.
"I... Yeah, I like toast, but you really don't have..."
"Hey, you keep complaining and I'll have to make you something more" She cut me off.
I swallowed my words and nodded, even if she'd already began making food for me too.
"So, how did a mare like you end up in a fight anyway? And if you still don't want to talk about then that's fine, I was just wondering" She asked, and immediately I tensed.
What should I tell her? What had I told her already? All I recalled was my name and at that, I wondered how much more of it I should revile. Should I tell her more about the fight, my day of hopeless job hunting, my home and forgotten family, my... Condition? I swallowed as I made a distinction between what was trivial and what was necessary.
"I was in the hospital because something hit me in the head during the fight, at least I think" I offered, and she looked at me, mouthing the words "though brake" as the toast popped up with a ping.
"It's not that bad, I'm kinda used to avoiding things like that to be honest. I must be losing my touch" I told her with a small laugh.
She buttered the toast, before nodding.
"Well, you know what they say about the places around here..." She began, then looked at me expectantly.
I felt my mind run dry at that, and her looked turned to slight confusion.
"Sorry no, I'm... I'm not from around here" I stammered, and she seemed more embarrassed than I did.
"Pony feathers, set myself up for that one" She moaned, taking the two plates of toast in her mouth and motioning over to a small, rounded table.
I followed her as she set the food down, my stomach growing like some hungry dog as it sensed the smell of food. It felt like the thing was ready to jump out of me as she set it down on the table and without thought I leapt on it like a ravenous beast. Popsicle jumped back, then slowly sat down before her own food. I finished in seconds, yet my only slightly sated stomach still felt more akin to a bottomless pit then an organ.
"Wow, you really were hungry" Popsicle observed.
It was then that I realised how I must look and raised a hoof to my crumb covered muzzle timidly, then I sank back in mild embarrassment.
"Don't worry, I eat like this all the time" She assured me, waving a hoof dismissively before tucking into her own meal.
I nodded, yet still didn't feel much better about my actions as I watched her.
"So... What about you, what were you doing there so late? I mean, if you don't mind me asking?" I stuttered weakly.
She swallowed her food, licking the crumbs from her muzzle.
"Just a check up, it some other pony’s business really, I'm just helping out. As for why it was so late? Well, I insisted on it. Saves waiting in line" She explained proudly, "Besides, it wasn't like she was going to say no" She added quietly.
I tried to understand best I could, when that failed I looked down at my plate as my stomach gargled happily. Even so, the squirming sensation within didn't seem satisfied and it gave another obnoxious growl. I pressed a hoof to it, blushing with embarrassment.
"Hey, you know if you want some more there's..." Popsicle began, but I stopped her with a wave of my hoof.
"No, I'll be fine... Especially after a good night's sleep" I retorted, mostly hoping she wouldn't insist again.
She looked between me and the loaf of bread still sat on the counter, then shrugged.
"If you're that set on making sure I don't feed you then alright" She said, and I nodded as she stood and took both plates away, throwing them atop a larger pile that sat in her sink.
"So, if it’s sleep you need then spare rooms this way" She told me, trotting out of the kitchen and to the unopened door closest to the entrance.
I stood and trotted after her as she opened the room. Inside the was a small square, with two beds on either side and small table in-between them. By the fresh scent, stillness and dust, I assumed she didn't come in here much.
"Well, this can be yours. Bathrooms next-door and my rooms at the far end, make yourself at home" She told me as I passed her and stepped into the room.
It had that unusually smell to it, the kinda smell that made me feel all warm and cozy inside.
"Thank you, this means an awful lot" I offered appreciatively.
"I can tell" She responded with a knowing glance.
I shrank back slightly at that, but she failed to notice as she turned away.
"But, I think it's time for me to hit the hay too" She said, stretching her wings and giving a yawn.
"Good night" She finished, heading down towards the room she'd told me was her own.
"Night" I added timidly, then the moment she was gone I shut the door and fell onto one of the beds.
As much as I was suspicious of this, I had never been more happy to see a bed. Without thought I shook of my bags and curled up under the sheets. My stomach twisted restlessly, growling in protest, but for once I ignored it. I didn't have to be afraid any more, I had somewhere to stay, all I had to do now was find a job. My stomach gave another little squirm and I finally acknowledge the slight discomfort with a groan.
I still had that little nuisance to worry about, but that was almost eleven months away and there were at least a few weeks left before I began to show. All I knew for sure, was I had a chance to make a new life for myself, and not only for me. I felt another twitch in my gut and smiled.
"Don't worry little guy, you can have some food in the morning" I assured the disturbance, thinking of nothing other than that as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
"Hello, my name is Lavender, and I'm a somewhat shy unicorn mare from Manehatten. Although, that's certainly not where I'm living now. No, now I live exactly where I’ve always belonged, with the love of my life and our two perfect foals. I only wish it could have always been this way. Yet, if were so, then I wouldn't be here to say this I suppose."
"I've been told once or twice throughout my life that I have a small talent for writing, which was stage, as I've never once felt like the type of pony who'd ever concern herself with such things. Yet, in the days since then, I've learned never to allow one's potential talent to go to waste. So, if other ponies think I’m good at something, then I it would be foolish of me not to try my hoof at it."
"But, that doesn't matter too much suppose, because I’m happy with my life now, and happy with myself. But, what do I know really? Somepony may be interested in what happened to me some day far from now. It's a kind of comically awkward tail in all honesty. But looking back, there’s no other way I’d have rather had it. So, this is it. The story of how my miserable little excuse of a life changed forever, and it all startes with the stupidest decision I ever thought I made."
