The Rasp

I can only remember it in chunks. Things get fuzzy after Fluttershy. She was sick. I hadn't thought to check on her lately. I've been so tired. She said she was fine!! THIS IS ALL MY FAUL

Sorry. I threw up again. I can remember. Fluttershy went after Applejack and Octavia. Octavia threw Applejack out of the way and wrestled Fluttershy to the ground. Fluttershy was hissing and screaming, and kicking wildly. I ran over and tried to help, but she kicked me right off my feet. I crashed into the desk on the other side of the room. Twilight's desk. There was a candle on the desk and so much parchment. I Didn't mean for this to happen! Im so sorry! IM SO SORRY

The fire ate up the desk like it was kindling. All paper. It's all paper. Twilight and Rainbow Dash came out of the basement. All of them sick. Infected. Screaming for blood. Trying to take it from Applejack and Octavia and Pinkie. For whatever reason they didn't seem to notice me. I wish they had. I wish they'd taken me away. I want to go away.

Applejack is a strong pony. She's probably the strongest pony I know. I wish I was strong like her. But I'm not. I'm weak. Fluttershy's kick wouldn't have affected Applejack, but I was stunned by it. The world was spinning and I couldn't figure out how to make my tongue work to say anything. I coughed and gagged and everything happened so fast. There was smoke in my eyes, but suddenly I was on Applejack's back. Octavia was next to us. Pinkie was behind us. She was trying to buy us time. Trying to talk sense into Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. She couldn't hurt her friends. Sick or not.

We made our way to the third balcony. We jumped to the next building. The roof of the next house. We watched. We watched the tree burn down. The tree burned down. I watched my house burn down. I tried to get back in, I really did! I DID! I kicked and wiggled! I cried and fought. But she wouldn't let go!

"NO!! PLEASE, PLEASE LET GO!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!" I cried, trying my best to get to my feet. Applejack wrapped her hooves around me tightly and held me close while I struggled to get out of her grasp.

"WE HAVE TO GO BACK!! WE HAVE TO SAVE HER!" I screamed desperately. Applejack frowned, and easily held me down.

"NO! HMMPH, CALM DOWN! We can't help her now! We have to worry about ourselves!!" Applejack insisted. She wouldn't let me go back into the tree house. I watched in agony as it burned down. There was nothing I could do to stop this madness spreading around me. Applejack babbled on behind me about how Twilight would be just fine. She had no idea I wasn't talking about Twilight.

"WE HAVE TO SAVE SCOOTALOO!!" I screamed again. Applejack turned towards in in alarm. I gestured towards the tree, and realized what a futile effort it was. There was no way back inside. There was nothing but fire and infected below us now. It was too late. I was too late. I glanced down helplessly at my claws in silence and choked back a hopeless sob.

"What about Scootaloo?!" Applejack hissed. I stared up at her with teary eyes and I silently shook my head. If I said anything now, Applejack would have turned and hurled herself back into the blaze. I'd be sacrificing her on the slim chance to pull Scootaloo out of the clutches of the infected and the flames. My tummy turned itself into a knot, and I kept my mouth shut.

"I thought I saw her. But it couldn't have been...No-nothing. Nevermind. " I sobbed. Applejack gave a tired sigh.

"Ya'll try and calm down, Spike, I need ta help Pinkie with Octavia, so ya'll just sit right here, okay?" Applejack cooed, wrapping the rope tightly around my shoulders. She pulled it taut to keep me in place while I watched my home crackle and pop. She was right to do so. If I could have, I'd have thrown myself right back into the fire. But I knew the infected had already gotten a hold of Scootaloo. I could feel it.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I'm so sorry Scootaloo. I'm so sorry. I thought you were safe in the pantry. I didn't know this would happen.

Now everything hurts

It hurts so much.

I can hear her screaming for help.

I can see her when I close my eyes.

I want to be numb

Please make it numb.