The Rasp

It's cold.

I feel cold.

Everything is cold.

I decided to keep Scootaloo a secret. Applejack and the others don't need to know about it. It would only tear them up inside. I can't ever tell anyone. Holding it inside makes me want to explode, but I can't say anything. I can't. I just can't. It wouldn't help now. Nothing can help now.

I've been sleeping a lot lately. I feel so weak. And every time I close my eyes I can hear her. She's reaching for me. Crying out for me to come and get her. I never get there in time. It's the same dream, over and over again. Twilight would be so ashamed. Ashamed of me. I'm ashamed of me. I feel sick. Applejack came over and asked me whats wrong.

What do I say? What do I do? I want to tell her. I want to tell her everything, and let her take it all away. I want her to take it all away!!

I could tell her. I could tell her what happened and cry into her shoulders. I could explain that Scootaloo was hidden in the pantry. That she was in there when the fight broke out. That she was in there when the fire collected the house. That she was left behind when we made our escape. I could tell her all of these things, and watch her heart tear itself in half like mine was doing. I could lift the weight off my shoulders. I could give the burden to her.

"I'm fine." I said softly.

We've been in the forest making sure the infected weren't following us before we made our way to Zecora's hut. Thats where we are now. When we arrived I immediately took a nap. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I'm so tired all the time now. Applejack won't say it, but she's convinced I've got the Rasp. I'm convinced too, but I don't have time to be sick. I've got to keep fighting but...

I can't remember why.