The Rasp

Applejack woke me up. She says it's time to try and head somewhere safer. I started to argue that this was pointless, but I kept my mouth shut. Applejack did not look like she was in the mood for arguing, and frankly, neither was I. I was grumpy from not getting enough sleep, and my head was throbbing from not getting anything to eat. Gems are pretty scarce right now.

Zecora doesn't keep that many gems in her hut, so no help there, but we did find some bandages and medical supplies for Pinkie and Octavia. I gotta hand it to her, I've never seen a pony carry on the way Octavia was. She was more or less covered in her own blood and various wounds, but she's still walking under her own power. She's pure incredible! I wish I could be like that!

But I'm not. I'm weak, and pathetic and I let Scootaloo die, and I'll NEVER FORGI-

Sorry. I have to keep writing about our adventure. Our story. Our progress. If I start talking about my feelings I'll never stop, and I'll waste the parchment again. I've gone through whole scrolls just trying to ...make sense of everything that's happening. Twilight would use the journal for clues but I'm not smart enough to suss them out like she does. I've been reading over the tale over and over and I just get mad at myself. Mad at Applejack. Mad at everypony. Then I realize that's not normal. It isn't ok for me to be mad all the time. I have to fix this!! I HAVE TO! I have the Rasp, I'm sure of it. It's in my blood. I can feel it making me sicker and sicker. What's the best way to get your own blood out? I need something sharp. If I can get all of it out, then I'll be ok again. Maybe just a few cuts. I mean, your body produces more blood right? It's a simple process. Drain some, let more develop that isn't contaminated? That's what I have to do. I'll do it to save Twilight. I have to. If I can cure myself, I can help her. I can save my sister! I need something sharp!! Applejack doesn't understand. I can't let her know. She'd try to stop me from saving Twilight. I can't trust her. I can't.

Got some out. Didn't mean to spill it on the journal, though. I feel better! A little light headed, maybe, but the headache is going away! I would have gotten more, but Applejack came over and told me it's time to go. Pack everything up. She doesn't know about the knife I found. She doesn't know about the blood. I hid it when I rolled my scroll up. I asked her where she intends to take us.

"Sweet Apple Acres." She says.

Applejack isn't infected. I don't think she's infected. She doesn't seem like she's infected. Her blood is untainted. I can use it to help Twilight. She'll forgive me, won't she? Of course she will. She'll understand. She's my friend. She HAS to understand! It's important to help Twilight. We have to save Twilight!! I WON'T LET HER SUFFER! I'll write later. We're about to leave. Sweet Apple Acres is the perfect place to go.

That's where I can catch her off guard.

I swear I'll save you, sis.