Secrets Part 1
“Untimely Revelations”
by: SadisticFluttershy
I remembered the halls of Canterlot High filled with cheer at the sound of the final bell of the school year ringing. Summer had begun. It was nice. “I can’t wait to join up with my friends at my house!” I said as I pulled out a cigarette out from my purse and lit up, taking in that tasty smoke and blowing it out in pure bliss.
My friends and I have started a bit of a tradition. It’s like new year's resolutions except it’s at the start of summer. And rather than resolutions, we share secrets.
First off, no one knows I smoke. At least, that’s what I hope anyway. I try to not smoke all that often. I’ll usually have one every couple days considering the fact that, since the holidays started, I don’t have to worry about all the stress. With all the teachers to homework and she-demons trying to take over the school, it’s been a hectic year. Sorry Sunset.
I take in another drag of my smoke, performing a french inhale. I zoned out taking my usual detour going home, just to take a smoke. It’s a rundown area struggling to keep nature from reclaiming it; deserted, peaceful and quiet. I’ve been the only one around every time I came here. Today was no different.
Anyway back to what I was saying. None of my friends know I smoke, not even Rainbow Dash. The one person I’ve grown to having as my older sister doesn’t know this. The thing though that makes this much worse is that I’m underaged. 17 years old is how old I am. It used to be 18 years of age. The state of Virginia changed the legal age to 21, same as consumption and purchasing of alcohol.
There I go again, wandering off in my own little world. I pulled up my cigarette to my mouth again, taking in a long drag and blew out normally. I’m currently walking home. My friend had offered me a ride but I said I was good. I like to walk and enjoy all the scenery around me. It’s relaxing.
I know I’m holding off the question. Why don’t your friends know you smoke?
I’m not proud of it at all nor do I regret picking the habit up. Believe it or not, I’m constantly stressed out and now I’m stressing over this. It’s not a bad thing either because like I said, none of them know. My own parents don’t even know, crazy right?
Darn it, the wind keeps blowing my long pink hair into my face! I pulled out my bangs that laid in front of my eyes back where they were. I had one more drag from my smoke and then stepped it out so I could properly dispose it. Yes even though I smoke, I’m not careless. I throw the butts into the trash like a normal person.
Like I was saying, I wouldn’t know what to think if my friends found out I smoked. To them, I’d imagine it’d be surprising and potentially heart breaking.
I had just arrived at my house. I took out my house key unlocked the door and quietly went inside. I held my breath and listened. Closely. Quietly. Then I sighed in relief to know I was the only one home.
I rolled my eyes at myself. The quiet entry had become a force of habit at this point. Today, it had been unnecessary. I knew my parents were out. In fact, I’d have the house to myself all summer while they attended the wedding of my father’s cousin in Nebraska. Still, I’d best still take a shower to get this smell of smoke off of me.
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. I pulled the shower plug on the faucet enabling the shower head to come on.
I strip naked, looking at myself in the mirror, noticing the size of my breasts. Have my boobs always been this big? I smiled warmly at myself. I remember how Dashie tells me how jealous she is of my boobs.
“It’s not fair! Out of all of us, Fluttershy has the best set of racks! Mine are too small”.
I giggled at the memory. I remembered exactly what I said to her.
“Oh Dashie. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re fine just the way you are”.
I remember her genuine smile towards me which I always knew that I always made her feel better about herself. She really is insecure but never shows it.
I put my hand under the running water coming from the faucet feeling the welcoming warmth. I step inside the shower, closing the curtain behind me. I stepped forward letting all the water press my long pink hair down on my head and back. I took my strawberry scented shampoo and washed my hair thoroughly to mask the smoke smell. After all the soap left my hair, I took my strawberry body wash and thoroughly washed my body. I made sure that I scrubbed well. I did my best to not miss a spot.
After about fifteen minutes in the shower, I turned the water off and wrapped my hair in a towel and my body in another. I stepped out of the bathroom and went to sit on the couch in my living room. A thought crossed my mind about smoking another cigarette while I sit and watch TV wrapped in my towels. I stopped myself ‘Fluttershy you took a shower to get rid of the smell. It can wait some other time’ I said to myself. I sighed as another thought crossed my mind.
‘Why is it my body keeps wanting me to smoke more often? I guess it’s because of the nicotine’
I do wonder many times every time I smoke whether I should quit? Well it’s obvious I should but damn it! I can’t help myself! Something about it just keeps drawing me back. I know it’s unhealthy. I do know what it’s doing to me but, I just can’t help myself. To me, it’s a stress reliever.
I look up at the clock and it read 7:30 PM. I stood up and went to my bedroom to get dressed into my night clothes and hung up the wet towels on a towel rack. I looked through my dresser and found a fresh pair of panties and a white loose T-Shirt. At night, I don’t wear a bra. I like to let my boobs bounce freely, makes me feel more comfortable y’know?
After getting dressed, I sat down on the couch in the living room. I picked up my purse that was sitting on the opposite side of the couch onto my lap. I take out my pack of cigarettes that were inside. I examined the pack. Virginia Slim 120’s, the classy type for women. No, it doesn’t say that last part on the pack, I made that up. Damn, I really don’t get why I do this. I know I mentioned earlier that it’s a stress reliever to me, but is that really true? I sighed and put the pack back in my purse and set it down. I grabbed the TV remote and flipped through the channels to see if anything was on. Nothing.
I sighed again. I’m not sure how I’m gonna break this secret habit of mine to them.
I’ve heard rumors about my friend Rarity being a smoker too. I wasn’t too sure. If she is, I could imagine because of the amount of stress she goes through filling orders. Though I know she’s underage, sure she’s 18 years old but remember I said that they changed the legal age to 21 which was only a year ago. I wonder if anyone found that to be true?
Anyway, in a couple days, the girls and I have our secrets day. I’ll explain again. At the end of every school year we confess each others secrets to see what we’ve been hiding. Except though, I’ve been hiding this since I started. I started smoking at 16. So it’s only been a year.
How did I start smoking?
That question will be saved for another time.
****
The next morning I went to Rarity’s for advice that I made up about how to reveal your smoking habit that one of my “friends” wants to admit to his friends.
I knock on her door. “Just a minute darling!” I hear my friend say on the other side.
A minute past and there revealed Rarity in her work clothes. She wore a white button blouse with long sleeves, black pants and heels. She wore red reading glasses on her face. ‘How could something this beautiful get influenced to a habit such as smoking?’ I thought.
She smiled at me warmly and told me to come inside. While going back to the kitchen to fetch me a water bottle she asked why I was here, not that she didn’t enjoy my company anyway. Knowing Rarity, she was always delighted to see any of her friends.
“I um… came to see if you could help me with something” I said as I took the water bottle.
Rarity looked at me curiously.
“About what dear?”
“I have a friend who has a habit and doesn’t know how to break it to his friends”.
Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“What is this habit?”
I wasn’t sure what I was going say. I simply hid behind my bangs and muttered my words..
“Um… about his.. Smoking habit”.
Darn, Rarity heard me! But she didn’t have a bad reaction or anything but smiled at me.
“I’m not sure darling, but the thing I would do actually is that I would sit down with them and just be honest. People eventually find out and there’s no point in hiding anything from your friends. If I was one of his friends, I wouldn’t think of him any different although I’d probably be shocked just a little”.
I nodded in response.
“Oh.. okay. Seems like a good answer”
Rarity got up from the couch and told me that she needed to do something real quick and I said okay.
About fifteen minutes past and I was getting bored. I didn’t want to intrude anything, not even the TV to entertain myself even though I don’t think Rarity would really even care that much since I’m her friend but still.
‘What is she doing?’ I thought
I sighed and walked up the stairs to see what Rarity doing.
‘Maybe she got caught sight of one of her designs that needed to be fixed? Or had to make a phone call?’
Upon arriving to the top of the stairs, I started to smell something familiar… very familiar. ‘Were the rumors true?’
As I proceeded down the hallway, the smell got stronger. I look around the hallway trying to figure out where the smell was coming from, it wasn’t as strong as I thought it’d be but I could still smell it. Oddly enough that downstairs I didn’t smell a thing but up here it’s almost a slap to the face.
‘If the rumors are true, how does her sister Sweetie Belle stand it? I never smell it on her when I’m around her’
I stopped in front of one of the doors. On it were 3 blue diamonds expertly carved into the door. I kneel down to sniff the underside of the door and definitely smelled smoke. Getting up, I knocked on the door.
“Don’t come in darling! I’ll be out in a few minutes!”
I knew she was trying to hide something, I wasn’t buying it. I opened the door quietly finding Rarity by her large open window. I watched a cloud of smoke come from in front of her. I was gasping on the inside. ‘The rumors were true!’ I thought.
‘Why in the world is Rarity smoking? This is weird to me honestly’
I cleared my throat to get her attention.
“Rarity?”
Rarity turned around, facing me. She turned around embarrassed as I saw her holding a cigarette between her fingers on her right hand. Her face was red, matching the same color as her glasses that she was still wearing on her face.
“Welp, I’m caught. I knew sooner or later one of you was going to find out about well…. this” Rarity said holding up her cigarette. Looking closer, it was in a fancy black cigarette holder that mainly showed class.
I was sort of shocked but not shocked at the same time. As I was somewhat sad that my one of my friends is a smoker but also it was hard for me to not grab my own pack and join her. That is to be revealed later.
I sat down on the bed, not really bothered one bit by the smell. I was surprised that I didn’t smell it on her when I was sitting next to her earlier. Must be her first one of the day.
I watched Rarity take a drag shamefully and blow out the smoke. Silence filled the room. It was weird watching her smoke. It’s just one of those things you know for when it’s always the ones that you’d never expect to do such things.
Finally, she had the courage to speak up.
“So.. darling, now that you know about my habit. You probably wonder why and how?”
I nodded.
She sighed.
“You have no idea how incredibly stressful this job can be. I very much enjoy doing what I do. It’s a lot of fun at times and others, it’s just a freaking nightmare!”
I nodded in acknowledgement.
“So you smoke mainly for stress relieving?” I asked Rarity.
She nodded shamefully.
“Unfortunately so. But the question is how I started was mainly from a party I went to a couple years ago. It was one of those fancy parties that I normally go to except, this one was a fancy smokers party. I didn’t know until I got there. The person who invited me never said specifics. Of course, being the person that I am, how could I not refuse?”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Who invited you?” I asked.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But it was Fleur De Lis”.
I rolled my eyes. Go figure, Fleur De Lis always causes trouble and make people do things they don’t want to do but for Rarity’s case, she went anyway.
“She only smokes during these parties. She mainly went because her boyfriend Fancy Pants went but they insisted on inviting me because of the work I do for them. Since my parents are always traveling, nobody could tell me that I couldn’t go”.
“Okay, but how did you start?” I said getting a little impatient.
Rarity took one long last drag from her cigarette and put it out, disposing it in a trashcan nearby.
She cleared her throat once more.
“Well, it was because of Fleur. She knew for a fact that I’ve never smoked before. I politely refused a couple times but watching everyone else do it, I was tempted. That fucking Blueblood douche was there and he made me so mad that I asked Fleur for a cigarette and smoked right in front of him”.
I cocked my head to the side “Huh? What did he do? I know he’s mean but.. How was he an influence?”
“His arrogance darling. He smokes a pipe like one of those british folks. So he was acting like a snobby piece of trash that he is. I wanted to show him that I have just as much class than he does, but I ended up realizing I stooped to his level”.
I shook my head, but I let my friend continue.
“A few days later, my body was going crazy and it wanted the nicotine because I was still working and making a living to take care of me and my little sister”.
A human's natural response for these things. Once your body recognizes these new habits they want more of it, especially under stress.
“But, knowing that I was only sixteen, I couldn’t go to the store to buy a pack so I asked my older brother Elusive. At first he refused which was to be expected of course. But I told him that if I got him into the culinary school he really wanted to go to, he would supply me with these”.
Rarity held up the pack she smokes.
“However, he monitored how many I would smoke a day. Most of the time it was two or three a day. One in the morning, afternoon and evening and on some cases before I went to bed. After school you all know I worked to make my money as well as my brother. He’s never smoked a day in his life and he never will. I on the other hand wish that I never picked this up. I know I’m just gonna look awful when I get older”.
During her rant, all I would respond with nods and mhm’s and stuff.
Before I could respond any further, Rarity said that she regrets starting but she can’t quit no matter how hard she tries. Just like I know how hard it is for my mom to quit and she’s been trying for the last five years. Crazy right?
Silence filled the room again as I had no idea what to say next other than that I feel kind of sorry for her. Knowing that she’s stuck with a habit she can’t break really sucks. I walked over to her and embraced her. Telling her everything will be alright.
As much as I wanted to tell her that my friend wanted to reveal his habit to his friends was basically covering up myself from revealing it to her early.
“I’ll cya later Rarity”.
With that, I left the room.
****
The next day I was taking a walk around the city just to you know, explore and watch nature reclaim its land. The talk with Rarity yesterday got me thinking about how I am going to explain my smoking habit to them. The sleepover is tomorrow night which includes our traditional secret sharing. Ugh, the stress is killing me. I took out my pack, taking one out and lighting up and instantly feeling instant relief blowing out that first puff of smoke. Much better.
I’ve thought about quitting these before that night but that’s impossible. Well, they say nothing is impossible but for me, it kinda is. Each drag that I take in and each time I blow out either from my mouth or nose, I feel as if it was meant to be sometimes. Do I really enjoy smoking? I mean, I’ve heard that some women smoke because they just simply enjoy it and love it. Me? I have mixed feelings about it. Knowing the long term effects of this scares me, truly it does. However now, there’s nothing I can really do about it.
I’ve also heard that some guys like girls that smoke. Kinda perverted and weird at the same time if you ask me. I’d be very uncomfortable if I turned around to find a stranger watching me smoke.
My legs were starting to feel tired so I sat down by a nearby bench. I took in a long drag to stimulate my nerves, relieving me of my stress again. As I blew out the smoke, I heard a bark come from behind me. I turned around and saw a familiar face that could only belong to…
“Winona?!”
END PART 1.
Author's Note
Greetings!
This is another one of my projects. I however, am NOT proud of this story whatsoever. Infact, I regret writing this sometimes. But, my creativity gets in the way and won't leave me alone unless I actually write it.
So... hate me please. I don't blame you.
This was Part 1 of ???
-Shy
Author's Note
Hey guys, yeah I am still sort of working on this story.
Reasoning to why this chapter is short is because I want to get this story done and out of the way so I can focus on the Apologies story.
And that we're gonna skip all the drama and fast forward to the slumber party which is coming in the next chapter which will be longer.
-Shy
Caught in the act.
Secrets
Caught in the act.
By: SadisticFluttershy
“Winona?!”
*Bark!*
‘This could only mean…’ I began to think.
“Consarnit Winona, where in the hell are you?” I heard Applejacks voice call out.
‘CRAP!’
‘Oh I didn’t want anyone to find out this way…’ I was beginning to panic of what to do.
I’m freaking sitting here like a moron trying to figure out what I’m gonna do. There was no place that I could….
“Oh there you are Winona! Why in the hay did you run off like that?”
My heart was racing as I sat here on the bench with AJ behind me with her dog reunited with her master.
I’m basically sitting here like a popsicle. I wasn’t sure what to do. I guess I’ve been defeated.
“What in tarnation is that smell? And where is it coming from?
I gulped.
“Oh Howdy Fluttershy, I didn’t see ya there.”
“Oh um.. Hello Applejack.”
“Do you know where that smell is coming from? Cause ah’ can’t seem to figure it out.”
“Oh um.. No… I don’t. Sorry.”
‘Leave already please! No offense AJ’
“My feet are gettin’ sore. Mind if I sit with ya?”
‘Oh dear…’
“NO! I mean.. I’m sort of sick right now, yeah that’s it.”
“Now that ah’ can tell is a lie. Are you hiding somethin’ sugarcube?”
Damn it.
I sigh in defeat. I knew that either one of them was going to catch me sooner or later.
“Yes.. I am Applejack. You aren’t going to like this but I knew sooner or later one of you girls would find out.”
I hear my friends footsteps come from behind me towards my side.. And then my front but my head was looking down at my boots, not wanting to avoid eye contact with her. I hear her gasp and here came the yelling the next second.
“Fluttershy….. WHAT THE FUCK. Out of ALL people, You were the LAST person ah’d expect to see with a cigarette in her hand!”
I didn’t say anything. Clearly I was ashamed but knowing Applejack, she’ll find out anything one way or another. She’s mysterious.
“Why Fluttershy? Why in the hay are you smokin’?”
My eyes were tearing up as I sat there with my head lowered. Although after a few moments I brought up my cigarette to my mouth and took in a reliving drag before blowing out in the opposite direction of my friend in respect before putting it out.
I look back at Applejack with my eyes locked onto hers. Her expression was still somewhat angry but also curious and it said ‘Give me answers’. I couldn’t stall for too long so I had to say something.
“You wouldn’t understand Applejack. I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.”
Applejack sat down next to me and she put her hand on my own.
“Not understand? Sugar, do you not know the dangerous effects of smoking? It could lead to cancer… and worse… death.”
I sighed. “I know. Really… I do AJ. You really are wondering why I was smoking huh?”
She nodded.
“Well.. it’s because of the stress that I deal with on a daily basis. Sure it’s summer vacation now and I’m glad that we are. It gives me more time to do what I like to do in my spare time.”
Applejack didn’t say anything for a few moments. She too let out a sigh as she gripped my hand in a friendly response.
“Ah’ know the feelin’ sugarcube. Stress is definitely one of the worse things ever. Sometimes the work on the farm becomes too much even for me..”
Applejack chuckled a little at that. Her expression changed to a slight frown. “But ah’ didn’t let it influence me to start smokin’. It would hurt my little sister, granny and my big brother. Ah’ could never do that to em. The fact that it makes everything from head to toe smell like smoke and it ain’t all that attractive. Ah’ didn’t mean to sound rude when ah’ said that. Infact ah’ can barely smell it on you. Also, this is the first time ah’ve only smelled a hint of smoke on you.”
I didn’t say anything, but I nodded basically letting her know I was following along.
“And besides.. Ah’ dont want it to be an influence on Applebloom and have her think it’s okay. It would break mah’ heart if I found out my little sister started smoking because of me.”
When she said that, I’m glad that Applejack is strong enough to keep that habit away from herself. I love her strong minded nature.
“Sugar, ah’d like it if you would quit. Ah’m not gonna force it on you it’s just… you’re mah friend and ah’ care for you. Our other friends do as well. But one thing ah’ have to ask you is… why didn’t you tell us?”
I looked into her emerald green eyes. They were so beautiful but also looked sad at the same time. My eyes stung with tears again as I started to cry and I felt a pair of loving arms wrap around my body and pulled me close. I cried in her shoulder.
I could feel her hands stroke my back while saying ‘shhh it’s okay, let it out’ lovingly.
After what seemed like an eternity Applejack broke the hug and we met each others eyes again. It had took me some time to gain my composure but I think I could answer the question she had earlier.
“I was afraid that you girls wouldn’t be my friends anymore if you found out.”
Applejack cocked her head to the side.
“Why in the world would you think we would dump you sugar? We all love you Fluttershy, ah’d never do such a thing to ya.”
“Well.. smoking is frowned upon. But it’s something that we see all the time. I was afraid I’d lose you girls because of that. To be honest Applejack, I am ashamed for hiding it to you all.”
“There’s nothin’ to be ashamed about sugar. I get where you’re coming from. But the thing of it is hun is that ya are only seventeen years old. How could you have those things?”
“My friend Treehugger gets them for me. I give her the money needed and she gets them. I know I can’t just walk in and get my pack myself, I have to get someone else to do it.”
Applejack wasn’t surprised one bit. She doesn’t hate Treehugger, but she knows she smokes naturally grown weed. It was one of those things that she never liked about her, but for me, It doesn’t bother me all that much.
“Ah’ see. Well, do yer’ parents know you smoke?”
I shook my head.
“Applejack, they can’t know that I smoke. It would break their hearts even though my mom is the only one that smokes. My dad quit years ago but couldn’t convince my mom to quit.”
“Well, if it were me, I would’ve told them sometime ago. Ah’ don’t like lyin’ and you know it Flutters. But, ah’ can’t force you to do anything. Ah’ won’t say a word about it to your parents because to be honest, it really isn’t any of mah business even though yer’ involved.”
I hugged Applejack and thanked her for making a promise to not tell my parents.
“No problem at all. Now come on, let me take you home.”
It was quiet for most of the walk home. I was still ashamed of not telling my friends my secret. I was afraid of losing them because I smoke. Well now that I think about it, I wonder if Rarity even said anything to the rest of our friends. I know she smokes and AJ knows I smoke. I wonder if she will admit her habit at our slumber party that’s in a couple days.
As we finally reached my house, Applejack looked at me.
“Fluttershy ah’ gotta ask ya. Our yearly summer slumber get together is in a couple days. Do you plan on telling the rest of the girls about your… habit?”
I inhaled slowly, releasing the breath I had just taken to ease my mind. I really could go for a smoke right about now but I can wait till later.
“Yes Applejack, I promise I will tell the rest of our friends my secret. But I doubt that any of the other girls will believe me. I know you caught me and I’m still sorry you had to find out that way but… I guess it is what it is.”
“Well, ah’ hate to say this but.. the only way you can convince them that your habit is real is to well… smoke in front of them. Just light up and do what ya normally do.”
I groaned at that. I really would hate to be inconsiderate like that but Applejack is right.
“You’re right Applejack. I really don’t want to because you know how embarrassed I’m going to be.”
“It’s going to be fine sugar. Ah’m here to support you no matter what.” Applejack said as she hugged me again. I love it when she hugs me, it always makes me feel better.
“Thank you”
We broke the embrace as Applejack sighed.
“Well, ah’ should get back to the farm. It’s almost dinner time and Winona here is tuckered out. Ah’ll see you at the get together. Have a good night.” Applejack said as she started to walk off, waving goodbye as I did the same.
I opened my front door and walked inside my house. I closed the door behind me as I fell back against the door, sliding to the floor.
‘This is gonna be hard.’ I thought.
END PART 2
Secrets Part 3
Truths be told.
Written by: ~SadisticFluttershy~
I woke up the next morning to an annoying sound coming from my alarm clock. Slamming the snooze button with my palm, I groaned as I sat up in my bed yawning.
‘Today’s the day’ I said to myself. I really hope that I can do this.
With a quick stretch I got up from my bed and out into the living room. I went to go grab my pack of smokes from my purse and stepped outside and sat down on one of the chairs that sat next to the table.
I looked at the box that held the things I enjoy the most. ‘Is this even worth it anymore?’ I wasn’t sure. I’m still having a hard time figuring out why I enjoy smoking these damned things! To me, it comes from a pleasure sense. Just taking in that long satisfying drag from the cigarette and inhaling its contents deep into my lungs and then exhaling it out in front of me as it relaxes my body. Does that even make sense?
With a sigh, I took out one of the cigarettes, put it into my mouth and lit it up taking in that first drag of the day. With my first satisfied exhale later I closed my eyes. ‘How in the world am I going to break it to the others? Applejack already knows but… she said that I’m on my own with this one. To be honest, I’m still ashamed for hiding this habit from them. I did promise myself that today would be the day I come clean. I can’t hide this from them forever. It would kill me for them to find out from the grapevine and then they’d feel like I betrayed them. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself then.’
I took another drag from my cigarette. Ya know, I still kind of hate the smell from these things. Oh well, I learned to live with it. It’s pretty ironic how I say that because while I was growing up, I never liked the smell of cigarette smoke. It always bothered me. My parents always smoked outside though, and never in the house. Hence why I don’t smoke in the house either. But like I’ve said before, they don’t know I smoke. That I may never tell them until I’m older; that is if I’m still smoking by then. We’ll see.
I spent the next five minutes or so enjoying my smoke and think about what I’m going to do. Once I was done with my smoke I went inside the house to take a shower to of course take the smell off. Once I did that I went about doing my chores and making sure that the house was clean and fed Angel his breakfast.
I look at the time. It was just after eleven in the morning. This time is when I usually go to the shelter and work for a few hours and take care of the animals. I grabbed my purse and keys, got in my car and went to work.
Once I got there, I saw my boss Sunny Skies waiting for me with a smile as she normally does every time I come into work.
“Good morning Fluttershy. How you doing?” She asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing much Sunny Skies, thanks for asking.” I wasn’t really giving her eye contact when I replied to her. Normally I do with a smile but with this whole slumber party tonight is wreaking havoc on my mind.
Sunny Skies laid her hand on my shoulder. “Is there something wrong dear?” she asked with pure concern in her voice.
I knew I couldn’t keep anything from her. She’d find out eventually.
I sighed. “Yeah. There is actually.” I said as I sat down in my chair that sat behind my work desk.
Sunny Skies took a seat that sat on the side of the desk.
“Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I could help?
‘Where do I begin?’
“Um, well.. It’s tough to say and quite frankly, I’m embarrassed about it. You see. Every year at the beginning of summer my friends and I have a slumber party at my friend Pinkie Pie’s house since she’s got the biggest house out of all of us. But it’s a secrets reveal kind of thing where we tell each other what we’ve been hiding from each other.”
Sunny Skies nodded along in understanding on what I was saying. She rolled her hand in telling me to continue talking.
“Basically, I have a secret that I don’t think I’ve told you about. I’m not proud of it at all.”
Sunny cocked her head to the side. “What’s that?”
I stared into her big blue eyes. “Sunny, I smoke.”
Sunny blinked a few times. Trying to process the simple words I said to her.
“Fluttershy… you smoke? Since when?”
I sighed, looking away from her, unable to keep looking my boss in the eyes anymore as I was too ashamed.
“Yes Sunny Skies, I smoke. Like I said, I’m not proud of it and I’m quite ashamed actually telling you this. The fact that I’m not even eighteen yet makes this just as bad.”
“I started a year ago before the midterm and final exams of my sophomore year at CHS. Basically I guess going onto two years now since I’m a senior now at CHS. I’ve tried quitting before because I only wanted it to be a temporary thing but it stuck with me.”
Sunny Skies didn’t say anything for a moment. She was clearly lost and very likely shocked to hear the news of me being a smoker.
Finally after a few moments of silence she took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Well. I guess I can understand where you’re coming from Fluttershy. Infact, I fully understand because I was there too. And, I haven’t been clear with you either. I smoke too hun. Not often though, I only smoke when days at work or at home with the kids are rough.”
Now I was a bit shocked to hear that she smoked too but, she’s a grown woman.
I didn’t say anything after her response. I just sat quietly in my chair waiting for her to talk again.
“So you say that you have this slumber party that you and your friends have every year when summer vacation begins?”
I nodded
“Well, I suggest that you tell them. They will find out one way or another. It’s never good to hide anything from your friends or family, even me. I can’t do anything about your smoking habit even though you’re underage. It’s always the quiet ones huh?”
I squeaked at that as I hid behind my bangs nodding.
“That’s what I plan on doing actually… but my parents can never know. They’d be devastated.”
Sunny nodded at that. “Good on telling your friends about it but if you really want my honest opinion sweetie is that you should tell your parents. Sure they would be disappointed in you but it’s a life lesson to learn. If you want to tell them go ahead. But if you don’t, just remember this. They will find out eventually. So it’s best to come clean.”
“I’ll think about it.” I said as I nodded in understanding.
“Good. I’ll see you later Fluttershy” Sunny Skies said with a smile as she got up and left to do her work.
‘If I tell my parents about this, they’re going to kill me. Even if my mom is a hypocrite about it.’
******
A few hours later it was about to be three in the afternoon. It was time to get off work and head home to get ready for tonight with the girls.
As I was getting my stuff from my locker from the back and ready to clock off and go home, my boss Sunny Skies stopped me.
“Oh hey Sunny, what’s going on?”
“I do hope you take my advice considerably. It’s still up to you but I do suggest you tell your friends. Like I said hun, they’ll find out eventually just like anyone else would.”
“Don’t worry Sunny, I’ve been planning on telling them for a long time now. I just hope they won’t judge or be mad at me.”
Sunny Skies held my hand in her own, a sign that she had something to say when it was important.
“Oh honey, I’m sure they won’t judge you. For them being a little bit upset at you for being involved with a secret such as smoking is possible. But they won’t hate you for it. They will be shocked for sure. It was hard for me to tell my friends and even my parents. I’ve been smoking for fifteen years. It’s not worth sticking with. It’s likely too late for me but not too late for you. Please Fluttershy, try your best to quit those things… okay?”
Sunny Skies was always good with words, and hearing her words of concern and reassurance always makes me feel better. She’s the best boss a girl could ask for at any job.
I nodded as Sunny gave me a hug which I happily returned.
We broke apart and just before I left out the door I heard her say have fun with your friends tonight and that I should remember what she told me.
As I got into my car and turned the engine. I took out my pack of cigarettes from my purse. All I could do was stare at the box that I held in my hand. I probably should quit these damn things because they’re killing me from the inside. All the harm that it’s doing to me will leave its mark in the long run. Looking into my purse again I had another pack of the same kind unopened.
The other day my friend Tree Hugger came by after she went to the store to get herself some things but also got me another pack when I asked for it. She told me to slow down even though I’ve been doing good with these. Eventually I’ll be able to buy my own if I continue to smoke.
Each time I remember that tonight is the sleepover at Pinkie’s house I get more nervous. When I do reveal my secret to them, I’ll take everyone outside rather than smoke in her house. Mother and Father taught me proper manners. I just can’t get the imaginary look on each of their faces out of my head except for Applejack who knows now.
Remembering that I need to get home so that I can get ready for tonight, I put the pack back in my purse and headed home. Once I got home and got everything I needed for tonight it was about to be six in the evening when I got a phone call from Pinkie Pie.
“Hello Pinkie Pie. How you doing?”
As always I heard her happy chippy voice on the speaker.
“Great Fluttershy! Thanks for asking! You still coming to the slumber party tonight?” she asked
“Of course Pinkie, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“Great! It starts in an hour! I’ll see you soon bye!” and with that, the line went dead.
Part of me was excited to go to the party tonight but another part of me was dreading that I’d have to reveal this secret to them. It hasn’t stopped bugging me since a month before the last day of school. I don’t have to tell them I smoke but since Applejack found out the other day I might as well tell the rest of the girls. I just wonder though if they know Rarity smokes too. I caught her last week in her work room. It’s not like I cared or anything it was just a shock to me.
Double checking in making sure I had everything ready for tonight, I grabbed my bag, purse, and keys and got into the car and drove over to Pinkie Pie’s for tonight. It took around fifteen minutes to get there due to her living near the downtown area of Canterlot as I live on the outer parts of the city. I killed the engine and grabbed my bag and purse as I got out. Not even at the door yet I smiled as I saw my energy crazy friend Pinkie Pie running towards me and gave me a bear hug squeezing the life out of me.
“Can’t…. Breathe…” I managed to say with very little oxygen in my body.
Pinkie Pie let go of me. “Heh, sorry Flutters. You know I just love giving my bestest friends hugs! It makes me happy!”
“I know Pinkie. It’s okay”
With a giggle, Pinkie took my hand and led me inside the house. I took off my shoes and put my stuff down next to the door so that I’d remember where my stuff was. I walked into the living room to find all my other friends there on the couch watching TV.
I shifted uneasily as I stood. “Oh um.. Sorry that I kept you all waiting.”
Rainbow Dash got up and threw her arm around my shoulder.
“Mah, it’s cool! You made it. That’s what counts!”
Everyone else agreed to that.
Rainbow Dash led me to the couch to sit with everyone else. I saw Applejack who was actually sitting in a recliner chair on the right side of the couch. She looked at me a few times before asking me to come see her in the kitchen, privately.
“So.. Fluttershy. Are you ready to tell them tonight? Ya’ can either go first or go last. It don’t matter to me. But remember what ah’ told you. Even though you feel ashamed, there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone has their habits just like I have mine. Infact, my secret is that I’ve been eating more oranges than Apples.”
I giggled. “Oranges are pretty good though and healthy.”
Applejack shrugged. “Same as apples. But oranges are darn good too. But that’s not the real secret. Ah’ll tell ya’ll when it’s time.”
I nodded.
Applejack asked me if I had my packs of cigarettes with me. I nodded yes and she said that when it does come time to tell them that we all go outside. I told her I planned on that anyway cause I have manners.
About ten minutes past and Rarity came into the kitchen fetching a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
‘I wonder if she’s smoked at all today. She doesn’t look like she needs one at all either since she’s here with us.’
She came up to us and asked what we were doing. We both said just talking as all, talking about summer plans which was a lie but it wasn’t time to do our annual secret reveals. I do wonder though if she will tell about her smoking habit too, that is, if anyone else knows.
“I’m gonna head outside for some fresh air. Fluttershy dear, you want to come join me?”
‘I knew what she was going to do’
“Oh um… sure.”
Applejack shrugged and walked back into the living room. Rarity and I took a seat on the chairs that sat outside. I saw Rarity fish out her cigarettes. ‘Oh boy. I hope no one comes out here for the next ten or so minutes.’ I thought as I watched her take one out and light up.
“So.. Fluttershy dear, has your friend talked about his smoking thing that you talked to me about to his friends?” She said as she took another deep drag.
“Um no… he hasn’t. I told him what you told me but he’s still scared too.”
“I also see that you’re not using that black holder thing that you used the other day.”
Rarity shrugged. “I forgot it at home which is okay by me. It’s all the same either way darling.”
‘Watching Rarity smoke was just pure elegance. Watching her take those long five second drags from her cigarette was mind blowing to me. I could never do that. To me it’s too much’
Earlier I noticed that she’s smoking those Marlboro Lights. I’ve tried those before, too strong for me. I’m rambling again in my head.
“So Rarity… have you ever thought about quitting?” I asked her.
“Many times darling. After tonight I’m definitely going to cut down more and more.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you Rarity. Does any of our other friends know you smoke?”
Rarity sighed. “I’m sorry they don’t other than you. I didn’t want to be caught but everyone get’s caught one way or another darling. It’s just how it is I guess. Don’t worry though I plan on telling them.”
I nodded. “That’s good.”
The next few minutes past in silence. I was simply watching my friend smoke, not bothered by it one bit. Rarity seemed to enjoy smoking but if she says that she wants to quit then I will support her. It was so hard not grabbing one of my smokes and just get it over with cause the temptation was up there.
It’ll be a few hours before our secrets reveal part of the slumber party.
I saw Rarity take one final drag from her cigarette before sticking it into the water bottle that was now almost empty. She put in some mint gum she had in her pocket into her mouth to freshen her breath and she doused herself in perfume to just get rid of the cigarette smell. I thought that was funny, she had to do the same for me though since I sat right next to her.
The perfume smelled good though. Rarity always had good tastes in womens perfume.
We headed back into the house and Rarity disposed the bottle into the trashcan hiding the evidence. Walking into the living room rejoining the others they were playing one of Pinkie’s board games.
Pinkie Pie noticed us walking in and waved at us to sit down. Looking closer they were playing candyland. Just as Pinkie moved her piece on the board, she told us that she was excited for all the secrets that we were going to tell each other. I on the other hand wasn’t excited, actually afraid. I looked over to see Rarity with a nervous look on her face.
“Yeah. I can’t wait.” I said just to acknowledge Pinkie that I was listening.
“Yeah me neither. Ah’ wonder what each of ya’ll are gonna tell us.” Applejack joined in.
Pinkie had a huge grin on her face. “Well, to be honest I don’t really have anything to say but I might have one thing to say! Oh! I’ll figure it out. I might just have something.”
I hope neither my or Rarity’s secret could be figured out by our friend. She said it was “just a hunch” when she said that Princess Twilight was from an alternate dimension of talking ponies. We thought she was crazy at first when Rainbow said “I doubt that” but Twilight actually said it was true and I lost my mind.
Rainbow looked nervous too. I wonder what she has hiding up her sleeve.
“Guys, can we just keep playing the game?” She asked
With that I watched them play the game for the next hour or so which of course Pinkie won all of them. It’s her game after all.
Several more hours flew by as we watched a movie, had pizza, gossiped and do what we girls do at a slumber party. When I looked at the clock… my heart stopped. It was time.
“Well, ah’ think it’s time girls.” Applejack announced.
I began to panic, but a silent panic where no one could tell except Applejack. She gave me a small smile in knowing that I can do this. All this nervousness is making me want a smoke.. Is that bad?
We walk into the living room and sat down in the center of the room in a circle formation. We decided to go counter-clockwise as I sat next to Rainbow Dash.
“Alright Rainbow, you first!” Pinkie Pie said.
That look in Rainbow’s eyes was one of fear. She definitely had something going on. I wanted to know so bad. If it’s that bad… why didn’t she tell me?
“Well….” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I may or may not have been accepted into that college I kept telling you guys about. I was turned down because of my grades not being good.”
The girls sighed. I grabbed a hold of my friends hand and squeezed it lightly. That seemed to calm her down a bit.
“Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that Dashie. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I said to her.
She turned and smiled in appreciation. “Thanks Flutters, you’re the best.” She sighed again. “But I don’t know what to do now. I guess I’ll have to keep trying.”
“That’s the spirit!” Pinkie Pie chirped happily.
“Applejack, you’re next.” Rainbow Dash said.
“Alright ya’ll. Ah’m just gonna be straight to the point. Ah’m unable to have kids. Ah’ was tested when I got my yearly flu shots and all that stuff.”
I held my hand to my mouth. “Unable to have kids? That’s horrible!”
She nodded sadly. “Unfortunately so Flutters. And that Ah’ like oranges over apples now. Don’t tell Applebloom ah’ said that.”
“I’m sorry to hear that darling… really I am. And don’t worry, I won’t say a word” Rarity said.
“Alright Pinkie, you’re up” Applejack said, passing along the circle.
“I sleep naked at night!” Pinkie burst out.
No one spoke for a second.
“Um… moving on.” Rainbow Dash said.
Oh no… it was Rarity’s turn! I seriously hope she goes through with this. I know for a fact that she doesn’t want to go through with it. I don’t, but I told myself I was going to tell them. Applejack made me promise.
Rarity got up from her spot. “Everyone. Please follow me outside to the backyard. I know you girls aren’t going to like it but, you girls have to know.”
Confused, everyone got up and followed Rarity into the backyard where she sat down on the chair that she sat on earlier in the day. She had a few words to say before she would finally do it.
“Darlings, this isn’t going to be easy. Infact, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow “What’s going on Rares? Why are we outside and why do you say hardest thing you’ve ever done?”
“Yeah Rarity, what gives?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Rarity took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she took out her pack of cigarettes from her back pocket. She held it infront of her as she took out one of them holding it in her hand.
Everyone gasped except me.
The look on Applejack's, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie’s face was disbelief.
“You mean to tell us Rare’s that you smoke?” Applejack asked.
“Okay, I never thought in a million years that you would say something like that Rarity. I mean maybe I should’ve seen it coming because of your dress making thingy but are you nuts?!” Rainbow Dash said.
Rarity put the cigarette in her mouth and lit up, taking in that first drag of relief blowing out in the opposite direction of them.
“Unfortunately so darling. I am nuts as you said. But, I promise that I will try to quit smoking. Not guaranteed to happen overnight but I will try.”
Applejack held her temples with her thumb and index finger. She had nothing else to say.
“Rarity, you know smoking is dangerous. Smoking is what killed my father Rarity! He got lung cancer when I was four years old and passed away when I was seven. I hate those damned things!” Rainbow said in frustration and even a few tears came down her face.
“Yeah Rarity smoking is bad!” Pinkie Pie said.
“Girls, I know it’s bad. I do it because it helps me relax. Sure I still don’t like the smell that much but I got used to it.”
Nothing else was said when she said that.
A few moments later, Rarity looked towards me. It was time. I nodded at her as I went back inside towards the front door to grab my own pack of smokes that I put into my back pocket. I sighed as I walked back outside where the girls were. Rarity was still smoking her cigarette as the other girls kept their distance away from her. I sat down in the chair next to her.
“Fluttershy, you’re seriously okay with this? You’re sitting next to her while she’s smoking. Doesn’t it bother you?” Rainbow Dash asked me.
I shrugged. “No… not really. It’s her decision. If she wants to smoke she can smoke. Not that I don’t agree with it, it’s just her choice.”
“But.. but..” Rainbow Dash started to protest what I just told her.
I held my hand up at her. “And you know what else Rainbow?”
“What?” She asked.
I took out my pack of smokes from my back pocket, holding it in front of me.
Rarity and Dash looked at me in shock. I opened the box, took out a cigarette and lit up taking in that relieving drag myself that Rarity took earlier. I blew out the smoke to the right of me as Rainbow Dash just stared at me. The look in her eyes were sad, disbelief and maybe a hint of anger.
“Fluttershy darling, but since when did you smoke? I’m absolutely shocked.” Rarity asked.
“I started almost two years ago. It was our sophomore year. Rarity you should remember AP Physics and Chemistry. Those were the hardest classes we ever took together.”
She nodded. “Oh yeah I do remember.”
“Yeah, the classes stressed me out to the point that I snuck one of my mom's cigarettes one night while she slept and I was hooked ever since. They really have helped me.”
Rarity pointed out that I smoke the long ones. I said it’s because they last longer. And the fact that Tree Hugger can’t get them all the time for me cause I don’t always have the money to give her. They cost almost five bucks a pack here.
Both me and Rarity took a drag from our cigarettes at the same time while thinking of what else to say. Watching Rainbow stare at us was breaking my heart. I know that I broke hers and I feel very bad. I actually wanted to cry.
Rainbow had the courage to walk up and sit down next to me even though I was still smoking. I knew she didn’t like the smell coming off of it because of how strong it was, she was being a champ.
Rainbow took my hand and looked at me in the eyes. Staring into her big beautiful magenta eyes was breaking me. They looked sad, hurt and betrayed.
“Why didn’t you tell me Fluttershy? Why didn’t you tell me you smoked?”
I could feel my eyes beginning to water when she asked me that question.
“Because… I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me for doing something this dangerous.” I said to her.
“But I am disappointed in you. And that’s because you didn’t tell me sooner shy. But I’m even more upset because of the fact that you smoke cigarettes.” Rainbow said.
I nodded in response. I honestly didn’t want to keep smoking after hearing what my childhood friend said to me.
“Shy, even though that smoking is your decision to make. I do want to ask you this favor. We’ve been friends for years and have always been there for eachother. I do feel like I’ve failed as a friend to prevent you to start smoking but I didn’t know at the time. But please shy, quit doing this. It breaks my heart that you’re doing this to yourself just because you think you need to even though you don’t need that cigarette to relieve your stress.”
I was crying at this point. “Dashie…. It’s not your fault that I started smoking. That was entirely my fault. I…. *sniff* I’ll try to quit these things for good. And you’re right. I don’t need to smoke to feel relief. I have you and the rest of our friends to help me get through difficult times.”
I turned to Rarity who’m already finished her smoke before me looked at me with sad eyes. “Rarity, can you do the same? You know.. Quit smoking?”
She came and hugged me. “Of course darling. I’ll try my best. For me… and for the rest of our friends.”
Pinkie Pie and Applejack came to as well and joined in on the hug as I cried. “I’m so happy that I have you girls to help me.”
“Of course sugarcube. Ah’ll always be here fer you.”
“Me too!” Pinkie Pie joined in.
“Goes for me as well Shy!” Rainbow said
“We love you Fluttershy darling. We’ll kick this habit together.” Rarity said confidently.
A couple more minutes went by in silence as we kept the group hug. Finally, we broke the hug. Rarity and I decided to give up smoking for good. We both handed whatever packs we had left and gave them to Applejack who properly disposed of them.
I looked at Rarity with determination.
“It’s not going to be easy… but as long as we have each other. We can do anything.”
She returned the smile. “Of course darling. That’s what friends are for afterall.”
“Of course with the help of our friends, we can continue on with our lives without smoking. Right girls?”
“Right!” Pinkie, Dash and Applejack said in unison.
And with that, we went back inside the house to finish out our slumber party and passed out for the night.