Chapters Sweetie Belle is Sick as Shit!
Sweetie Belle was sick as shit. She’d just gotten over the swine flu she’d caught from Applebloom, who’d caught it from Applejack who caught it from a pig’s dick. The others had gotten over it by now and she was right on the tail end of it too. Scootaloo on the other hoof was still fifty/fifty whether she’d survive with her acute immune deficiency syndrome and what not. But right now Sweetie Belle couldn’t care less as she hunched over the sink and emptied her stomach.
Just as she had been getting better when the fresh chicken she’d had for dinner last night was undercooked. Both she and Rarity had rushed to the bathroom to take turns vomiting into the toilet since three this morning and it was nearly sunset by now. Rarity had sent Sweetie Belle down stairs to the public bathroom in the boutique leaving herself up in the private, less urine smelling one. Why she was vomiting into the sink instead of the toilet right now was because she very much so needed to be sitting on it at the same time.
What little she’d managed to eat throughout the day and keep down was quickly coming out the other end. Often in its chewed up, barely digested form. Most of it was juice and water so it was reasonably quick and easy to pass. It had scared the shit out of her, pun intended, after she’d drank some apple and blackcurrant juice and it had come out blood red. Luckily that was a few hours ago and now her stomach was starting to do its job again and actually digest that stuff that was in it.
Unfortunately, what was in her was still primarily liquid and even if it wasn’t, it would’ve came out as such one way or another. Or rather, one end or another. But that’s not where the story starts. No, where it starts if with a cup. A measuring cup precisely. While she had been deathly ill the last few days with her nose has been dripping non-stop with snot that was as clear and runny as water.
Now however, as she got better, it began to congeal into the classic thick green snot that makes that iconic sludgey snoring sound when when you try and breath through your nose. For the minutes, sometimes up to as many as ten, when she wasn’t pretending to be a double ended fire hose, she would have to blow her nose. Of course she had long ago run out of toilet paper so Sweetie Belle would just lean over the sink and blow.
The water in the sink was constantly running and the Ponyville damn would most likely run dry this summer as a result but that wasn’t important now. But one erant blow of her nose had the entirety of her radiative looking goop come out over and land on the tap instead of the basin. Sweetie Belle instantly recoiled from the sight of it as it slowly oozed down the tap handle and into the bowl. It was so thick, so green, so… much!
She was astonished that so much snot could fit inside her nose. Cheerilee had always told Sweetie Belle that her head was hollow but know she wondered if her head really was as empty as everyone said. She wondered how much was in there. It was obviously a lot but that wasn’t an exact amount. It had been about an hour since she’d wondered this and since then she’d thrown up twice more and had her tail hole prolapsed once. Which was down from the last few hours. A clear sign she was getting better.
Aside from that though, she’d also gone to the kitchen and gotten a measuring cup out of the cupboard as well as another frog full of those pills Rarity kept on the top shelf. They seemed to help. In that time she’d let the gluck in her nose build up again so she would be completely full when she emptied it into the cup. Of course she’d also tried right away after getting the cup with little result other than a few green specks spattering the kitchen and a few brown puddles she wouldn’t notice in there until tomorrow.
Finally, after she finish unwillingly voiding her bowels, she was ready. And by that, Sweetie Belle happened to see the cup again and remember what she was going to do with it. She placed it on the sink, just below her head and blow as hard as she could out her nose. With a forcefully blrrughbk it shot out of her nostril and landed in the cup, knocking it over. Luckily the green slime was thick enough that even though upside down clung to the walls of the cup. Only slowly oozing its way out.
Picking up the cup and using a hoof to scoop the snot back into it, a small about of it clung to her fur that she couldn't scrape off. She tried wiping it off but it was inside her fur now and wouldn’t come off. Having no other option she took her hoof to her mouth and sucked the snot out of her fur. It worked and tasted oddly familiar. Sweetie Belle had fought she’d be grossed out by it and had only done as a last resort having not thought of just running it under the water.
She recognised the taste. It tasted like her vomit. Everytime she’d snorted, she’d probably eaten a bit of it. In fact, she knew she had as multiple times she’d done that only to have the glob come out of her nose, into her throat and into the back of mouth where she’d then swallow the load of booger without a second though. She’d probably eaten more snot today than actual food in the last few days too.
After she’d finished running her tongue over her hoof she removed it from her mouth and took a look at the up. Not even a quarter cup. It seemed so little compared to last time. As she thought about it, Sweetie Belle sniffled a little and clearly felt more in there. In one of her nostrils at least. She’d emptied one but the other side was still full. It was that weird thing that [I don’t know if i’m the only one who gets this but] when the nose is blocked, one side will feel like something’s swollen inside and harder to breathe through than the other but half an hour later the swollen and blocked up side has switched.
Blocking up the cleared hole with her hoof, she blow her nose once more into the cup. Knocking it over again, having not learnt her lesson the first time, as the ungodly green coloured gel was reunited with it’s short lost twin. The gak remained in the cup this time and as Sweatie Belle lifted it up to read the measurement she was amazed that it read three quarters!
It then started to lower as she realized it was just stuck to the side. After about a minute of slowly watching the green paint like substance slide down and start to crush over ever so slightly, or ‘dry’ if you will, it finally settled to read one third cup of snot had been inside her nose. She didn’t quite know the measurement Rarity had spoken of but had once heard her recipe for riot punch and it involved one shot of absinthe which she had tripled and put a whole cup full of it in. If Sweetie Belle’s maths was correct she had filled two shot glasses.
Her head really was hollow.
Author's Note
Dedicated to Biker Dash for this conversation
Sweetie Belle is Sick as Shit!
Having decided not to waste the fluro green treat she’d made and having realised she’d been eating it all day anyway and kinda liked the taste, Sweetie Belle drunk the snot-shot. She didn’t down it in one go however, it was too thick and stuck to the side of the cup. Wiggling her tongue out and into the cup she was able to scoop about half of it out and and quickly swallow it down.
Oh god, I took a sip of an up&go right here and heaved a little as the thick milk drink went down…
The second load came seconds after and stretched out a bit as it went into her mouth, first sticking to the cup then her teeth before she swallowed it down too. Unfortunately, it was half way down her throat but also still in her mouth. The string of snot began to tickle whatever that dangly thing in the back of your mouth is called. It only did do for a brief moment, not longer than a strand of mom’s spaghetti would but when you’re on the verge of throwing up already, well…
Sweetie Belle lent over the sink, and emptied her guts into it, the still running water quickly washing it away. It was a shame to see her snack go to waste immediately after eating it. Of course it wasn't the only thing coming up as the second wave of puke came up next. It too went down the drain but as the third wave came Sweetie Belle slid on the tile floor beneath her that had become quickly damp with the constant specks of water splashing on it all day long.
As she fell sideways, her face was pointed upwards and in a glorious fountain she knew what was was about to happen. In almost slow motion for her the still green, but the dull, cartoonish vomit-green coloured… vomit… came out of her mouth and in an arc that perfectly umbrellaed out in all directions, she watched as it came down on her as Ballad of Fallen Angels played in her mind. The moment she hit the ground she was covered.
Which only made her throw up on herself even more.
At first it came out in a solid stream, covering herself. Then it turned into jet bursts launching two towers of vomit high into the air above her before crashing down on her. After that it just began to sputter out of her in quick bursts as she emptied her stomach and it could only put out so much puke. There she was lying on the cold hard ground. Covered in her own vomit.
Visions of a similar future on the streets briefly entered her head while she was still delirious from the experience but she slowly came back to rationality and made an important discovery. Her gut juices were nice and warm on her. The hot water had long since run out and the constant running water had done a good job of cooling the place down. Not to mention that, while getting better, she was still sick and had a mild temperature.
Disgust quickly turned to comfort as she sighed contently and began to roll around in the puddle and make a cute little puke angel in it with her hooves. As it soaked into her fur, her mane and her tail, her whole body warmed up with the rather non-newtonian liquid covering her. The small chunks and stringy bits occasionally dug into her side or clung to her but all in all it felt pretty damn good to be covered in the mess.
It didn’t last too long though as a few minutes later the puke began to get cold and now she was just covered in cooling ‘water’. The answer was obvious as she stuck her hoof in her mouth and started poking at her dangly throat-meat thingy trying to make herself vomit anew. She gagged and dry heaved but couldn’t get in more to come out. To which the obvious solution was obvious.
Sweetie Belle began to scoop up the vomit on the ground, along with any other stuff that was left on the public bathroom floor, into a small pool that then just spread back out when she moved her hooves away, but since the sick was so thick and mucus-like, it didn’t get far… she then activated kirby mode and face planted into it, sucking up as much as she could.
A moment later, and it rained down upon her for the second time. Sweetie Belle wallowed in the much slimier vomit again for a shorter amount of time before it got cold once more. Scooping it up once more, she wasn’t able to get as much and thus, the response was equally minute. On the third attempt her gag reflex had become about as strong as her sister’s so she had to really force it to get it out of her. She was about to get another fountain to rain down on her. It wasn’t from her mouth however.
Author's Note
I wrote this before Pinkie's Deli Belly adventure in Cantalot with Rarity but Sweetie Belle's Kirby mode did indeed look something like this.
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Sweetie Belle is Sick as Shit!
I’m going to keep writing until this damn game is finished installing
She didn’t feel it leaving her, her ring was so loose by this point, she only knew it happened by the sound of it hitting the wall behind her before the more liquidy parts splashed back onto her formerly white coat that was now a shade of pale creamy green.
I feel sick, I don’t want to do this anymore. The game’s almost finished downloading. Just… let me skip to the end. If you’re disappointed I’ve stopped writing, or broke fourth wall or w/e just go watch Jackass 3. You’ll know which scene I’m talking about when you see it. I was planning on referencing it anyway saying that she basically did that at one point.
As she lay upside down with her legs up against the wall, the ceiling still dripping down the brown liquid with the occasional solid chunk onto her, she heard a sound. “Sweetie Belle. I’m feeling a lot better… I haven’t thrown up for almost an hour now-” Rarity stopped as she walked into the toilet her sister had been using all day.
In front of her face, not a foot away was Sweetie Belle, covered in shit, patches of vomit in her main and crusted up snot lining her nostrils. “I’m feeling much better Rari-”
“WWUUUU-BBBWWWWAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH…. Ugh...” Rarity vomited into Sweetie Belle’s face.
~ ~
“And that’s how I got my Fetish Mark.” a much older Sweetie Belle said, showing the biohazard symbol that was her inner-thigh cutie mark, earned by learning your fetish. She pulled on her restraints to check they were tight before lowering the blindfold. “So Spike… are you gonna shit on my chest or what?”
Le Fin
Author's Note
Deleted scenes
Just watched Jackass 3 again for reference. Just pissing in the wind.
Double edit: also forgot sweat. There’s also something with that in Jackass 3… I gagged hard watching it.
