Author's Note

Holy shit, two stories within a week?
Yeah, but don't expect me to keep up that pace. For all I know, I could write my next story in 2017.

Stupid title as usual, this time because I wrote it while listening to Victim Of Fate in a loop for over six hours. You know, the version with the dude who actually knows how to sing.

Anyway, briefly mentioning Flutterrape in my previous story reminded me that I had yet to write about Fluttershy, who used to be my favorite pony back when I started fucking horses in early 2013. I always loved the idea of Flutterrape / Fetishy, and reading dozens of those greentexts is what made me want to try my hand at writing.
I always prefered the stories where Anon comes around at the end, which implies romance and a happy ending for everyone. Such stories are exceedingly rare, but they do exist.

So here I am, three years later, posting my own contribution to this elusive subgenre of Flutterrape. Or something, what the fuck am I doing trying to communicate with words anyway, it's nearly seven in the morning and I spent the past six hours or so writing about cartoon ponies. I need a drink.

Also, I think I mentioned it in one of my older stories, but English isn't my native language. More often than not, I find myself using the same words over and over again, not because my vocabulary sucks, but because there are surprisingly few words that come to me naturally when I write. I tend to focus on what is going to happen next in the story, and not how I'm going to describe it.
Nobody has ever commented on that so far, but I'm just throwing it out there.

Please note that it is not a clopfic. There is a short, soft sex scene towards the end, but that's about it.

Never Know The Reason Why It Ends

You sit on your couch with a cup of tea, sighing heavily.

Damn, you're bored.
You never thought that day would come, but you actually miss Fluttershy. Despite everything she did, she was still the closest thing you had to a friend in this weird dimension of pastel ponies.

You even miss the daily fetish guesses. Sure, it was annoying and sometimes pretty disturbing, but there was something endearing about her relentless attempts to get in your pants. She always smiled, she was always eager to show you whatever it was she had come up with on any given day... and she never looked sad or disheartened, despite being met every single time with some variation of 'no, fuck off'.

She was the only pony who ever visited you because she actually wanted to see you. Every single morning, she would knock on your door, come inside for a cup of tea and ask you if something was your fetish. You would answer 'no' and tell her to go away, and she would do so with a smile, already having something in mind for the next morning.

So why hasn't she visited you in almost a month?
You didn't think she would ever give up, but perhaps she did. Giving up isn't her style, but there are only so many fetishes she can try before she runs out of ideas. And out of patience.
So maybe she did give up. While her determination always impressed you, even that must have its limits.

You hope you weren't too mean with her the last time, though. After all, she did show up on your doorstep with a baseball bat and smashed half of your living room, before calmly asking you if the Mafia was your fetish. You insulted her in ways you didn't think yourself capable of, and you were so pissed, you're pretty sure your last few words were in German. You don't speak a word of German.
That's how angry you were.

Never before had you screamed at her that way, but then that was the first time she made you genuinely angry. Her usual stupid fetish guesses were tolerable for the most part, if not frightening at times, but that one crossed the line. You're pretty certain she doesn't know what a fetish actually is, but that doesn't make what she did any better.
Still, such a demure little horse, acting that way just because she wants your dick... you're not sure if that's scary, flattering or arousing. Probably a mix of all three.

Why do you even think about all of this now?
You were mostly happy not to have to put up with her shit anymore for the first week or so, but by now you really miss her, and you wish things could go back to the way they were.

You finish your tea and groan loudly before getting up. What should you do today?
You never have anything to do. You have no real friends, no job and there's hardly anything to do to pass the time in Equestria, other than reading. You enjoy a good book every now and then, but you've grown tired of reading all the time. Pony literature isn't bad, though. You wouldn't have expected it to entertain you the way it does.

As you're about to step outside for a walk, you hear a knock on your door. You open it, revealing the element of the annoying voice.

"Hello Anonymous, darling."

There she goes with the 'darling' shit. You hate how condescending she sounds when she calls you that.

"Dress horse. What's up?"

She snorts and looks around. "Anonymous, pray tell, why is your living room such a mess? What happened?"

Fluttershy happened, but you're not even going to try and explain that to her.
You hadn't realized you were that lazy, though. It's been a month and you haven't even bothered cleaning up or buying new furniture... originally, you were going to have Fluttershy do both, but it looks like that's not going to be an option. You're going to have to do it yourself.

"It's just a human thing, don't worry about it."

"Oh... so, does that mean all humans live in such ghastly looking homes?"

You frown. "Yeah, sure, why not. What can I do you for?"

She takes a step inside. "It's about Fluttershy," she says, "I haven't seen her around town in quite some time. I know she often comes to visit you, have you seen her recently?"

"No," you blurt out, "she hasn't come in almost a month. I'm not sure why, I figured she was just busy or something," you lie. "You guys are often called to save the world and shit, I reckon that must keep you busy."

"Not for an entire month... Anonymous, you didn't do anything to her, did you?" she asks with a frown.

"Of course not."

"You do know that she cares a lot about you, right?"

"Sure. I mean, I wouldn't call that 'caring', but whatever."

Her frown deepens. "How can you say that? She tries her hardest to court you properly, and you have the nerve to claim she doesn't care about you?"

"Court me?" you ask in disbelief.

"Why, yes! Are human courtship rituals so different that you did not realize what she was doing?"

You're trying to process her words. You don't know how ponies court each other, but you're pretty sure 'guessing their fetish' isn't it. But maybe Fluttershy is too awkward around males, and that's her way of doing it with you? Yeah, you. A human male who explicitly told her you weren't going to fuck a horse.

When you first met Fluttershy, she instantly started asking you a bunch of questions about humans, and it quickly derived to the topic of sex. You answered a couple of them before deciding that it was enough, and you told her, in no uncertain terms, that humans and horses did not belong together in a relationship.
A few days later, she asked for your fetish for the first time. It wasn't even a guess, she simply showed up on your doorstep and asked you what was your fetish. You mildly chuckled at the fact she used the singular form of the word, but you didn't answer. She left without a word, and the next day she showed up wearing bondage gear, asking you if BDSM was your fetish.
It was probably the tamest of all her guesses, but that's how it started. Ever since that day, she has been showing up daily, always with the same routine. At some point you started inviting her in for tea, and you came to sort of enjoy being around her when she's not trying to get in your pants, but as far as you know, her interest in you has always been purely sexual.

"ANONYMOUS!"

Huh? Guess you zoned out for a minute.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know that it's very rude to ignore a lady?"

"Sorry, I was thinking about something."

She frowns. "Anyway, the next time you see Fluttershy, I hope you will treat her properly. She really likes you."

"Sure thing, Rarara. I would offer you tea, but, you know. I'm not gonna."

She blinks twice very fast, and clears her throat. "Perhaps you should go and visit her, for once. Goodbye, Anon."

"Wait, why are you so interested in what's going on between Fluttershy and me?"

"Because she's my friend! I care about her, and I want to see her happy. Even if it has to be with you," she frowns again.

"I resent your implication and shit."

"I resent you."

"Fuck you. And why haven't you gone and checked on her, if it's been that long?"

She ignores the question and trots outside angrily, slamming the door shut with a hind leg.

Rarity and you always disliked each other. You're not sure why, but you suppose it has to do with the fact she's delicate and refined, while you're uncouth and obnoxious. Everything she does is graceful, everything you do borders on disaster.
She's like, 'my goodness, darling' while you're like, 'fuck, nigger'.

Either you hate each other, or there's hardcore sexual tension between the two of you. Or both.

Still, her words trouble you. Does that mean Fluttershy is really after you, and not your dick? Does she like, like you? A little pony from another dimension has a crush on you?

It's been an entire month since you've last seen her, so that must mean she gave up on you. Rarity said she hasn't been around town in a while... that can't be a good sign.

You still have nothing to do, and you were about to go for a walk when Rarity showed up, so you might as well go check on Fluttershy yourself. You're not sure if you're ready to confront her on whether she actually wants you, and not only your dick, but as you said before, she's pretty much your only friend. Friends sometimes visit other friends, or so you've been told.

You were never too good with people, and you're not any good with ponies either.

You knock on the wooden door, breathing in the pure air. Equestria has that going for it, everything is clean and unpolluted. After a few seconds, a small white rabbit sticks its head out of a nearby window, making gestures with its paws. You're pretty sure it's trying to tell you to come in.

You shrug and push the door open. You don't think ponies ever lock their doors, but you still find it somewhat inappropriate to just let yourself in. Fluttershy did that the first few times, and you didn't like it one bit.

Stepping inside the small cottage, it quickly becomes obvious that there is something wrong. It's a complete mess, there's broken stuff and animal food everywhere, and Fluttershy herself is sleeping in her kitchen, a small towel covering her. What the fuck happened here? Your house looks clean compared to that unholy mess.

You kneel down next to her and make sure she's breathing. She seems fine, but she looks like she hasn't washed in days, and she must have put on a good ten pounds. Which is quite a lot, considering the average pegasus must weigh fifty at most.

You prod her until she wakes up, and she weakly looks up.

"Hey Shy, are you alright?"

She nods slowly, but you know that she's pretty far from alright.

You scoop her up in your arms, ignoring her small yelp of surprise, and walk upstairs. You place her down in her bathtub and turn the water on, grabbing a bottle and lathering her coat and mane with vanilla scented shampoo. She relaxes under your ministrations, letting out a deep moan as you scrub the base of her wings.

After rinsing her, you wrap her in a towel and carry her up to her room, lying her down on her bed. You sit next to her and smile at her. She's clean now, but her eyes are tinted red. That, along with the state in which you've found her (and her home), makes it quite obvious that she's been crying. Probably a lot.
And probably because of you, now that you think about it.

"Anon..." she says weakly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

She points a hoof at herself.

"For being yourself?"

She nods meekly.

"Shy, what are you talking about?"

"I kept p-pestering you every day, I should have known better. I will always be alone."

"Bullshit."

She looks away.

"Look, you just get some rest, alright? I'll go downstairs and clean up the place."

Before she can reply, you're walking down the stairs. Time to clean... oh god, what did you get yourself into?

Three hours later, you're sitting on Fluttershy's couch, panting as a large bear fans you with a newspaper. The whole cottage is sparkly clean, but you feel like you just ran a marathon. You didn't think you were that out of shape.

On a positive side, her animals are pretty nice. That bear would be bro material if you could understand him.

After a good twenty minutes of trying to catch your breath, you stand up and decide to go check on the yellow pony. Perhaps you should cook something for her later.
You walk up the stairs and into her bedroom, raising an eyebrow at her sleeping form. She seems agitated and one of her rear legs is kicking wildly.
Is she having a nightmare?

You sit up next to her and stroke her mane. She awakens with a shriek, fearfully looking at you. Before you can do anything, she bursts into tears and buries her face into your chest.

"There, there... it's gonna be alright," you say, gently patting her back. "I'm here, you're not alone."

Her cries turn into soft sobs as you hug her, running a hand through her silky mane. Maybe that's because you just washed her, but you never noticed how soft she was before.

After a few minutes, you gently push her head away from your wet shirt and give her a soft kiss on the forehead. She still looks pretty sad... you need to fix this.

"Fluttershy, lie down and turn around."

"A-Anon?"

"Just do it."

She lies back down on the bed and turns to face away from you, letting out a quiet 'eeep!' when you settle right behind her, her back pressing against your chest as you wrap an arm over her little body. You bury your nose into her mane, breathing deeply as she lets out a long moan.

"Shhh, no tears now. Only hugs."

As you hug the little pony, your mind starts to wander. All that time, the fetish guessing, the awkwardness... she just needed someone to be here for her? You're not sure if you'd want to be in an actual relationship with a pony, but the idea is much more appealing now than it was a few months ago.
When you first met Fluttershy, she pretty much forced you to consider the idea of fucking a horse, and after some deliberation from your brain and your dick, 'no' appeared to be the general consensus. But by now, you've grown to accept the fact that you'll most likely never see another human again, and you don't want to die alone. Despite that, while those ponies are pretty damn cute, you're not sure if you'd be willing to... well, you know.
Hugging is one thing, but you're not sure if you'd be comfortable with the idea of going further than that.

"Anon?"

You're stirred out of your thoughts by the little pony in your arms.

"Yeah, Shy?"

She remains silent for a moment.

"Why don't you want to be with me?"

Even though you know you should try and word things carefully with Fluttershy, you decide not to.

"Well, to be honest, I didn't even know you wanted to be with me until today."

"Y-you... you didn't know?"

"No," you admit, "what with all the fetish guessing and everything? I thought you just wanted to... well, you know. I thought it was simply lust, or physical attraction."

"Goodness, no... I-I mean, I would be okay with doing that sort of thing with somepony I really like, but um, that's not what I, um..." she trails off.

So after all the horrifying shit she thought could be your fetish, she would just be 'okay' with 'doing that sort of thing'? You suppose that makes sense. Behind the whole fetish thing, which she probably didn't fully understand, she was still Fluttershy.

"I really like you, Anon. I always did, ever since I first met you. W-would you consider being my, um... special somehuman?"

"I don't know, Shy. I never really thought about being with a pony that way."

Once again, you decide against subtlety. If not only because being subtle means pondering your words before speaking, which in turn means silence, which she could misinterpret.

"I mean, I haven't been in a relationship in quite some time. The last time I was, it didn't end too well, either. And months later, I woke up one morning to find myself in another dimension where my species doesn't even exist. It took me a couple of weeks to get used to this new world, so I had little time to think about relationships and such. But after we met, I stopped thinking about it entirely. I mean, at the time, and until a few hours ago, I thought you just wanted to have sex with me, and you're the only pony who ever showed any kind of nonplatonic interest in me, so I didn't think I'd ever be in a relationship again, you know? I guess I could have gone outside to try and meet other ponies, but I was never good at socializing and stuff. I don't think I would be any better at it with ponies than I was with humans."

After a minute of silence, you sigh.

"So I don't know, really. If you ever need a hug though, be sure to let me know. I mean, goddamn, you're so warm and soft, it's unreal. And you smell amazing. And you-"

*snore*

Is she... is she sleeping?

Son of a bitch. Figures, the one time you decide to open yourself up to someone, they fall asleep halfway through. At least she fell asleep in your arms... if anything, that means she trusts you and feels good around you.

That's the best perspective you've had on anything in a very long time, so you'll take it. You slowly take your arm off her and roll off the bed, trying not to wake her up. You pull the covers over her sleeping body and give her a soft kiss on the cheek. You exit the room, walk down the stairs and out of Fluttershy's cottage, but not before shaking the bear's paw after he gave you some fish for tonight. Yeah, he's definitely bro tier.

The night is calm and surprisingly warm. Damn, how long have you been here? It was late morning when you arrived.

As you begin the short trek back home, you decide to drop by Twilight Sparkle's library to check out a book. You're really tired of reading, but that's still the only thing you can do to pass the time.

You remember when you first arrived here, Twilight was all sad and shit about her house having been blown up and all the ponies were trying to make her castle seem more like her former home.

Enter you, Anonymous, the human whose untold powers of common sense would come to revolutionize the lives of ponies everywhere across Equestria. But mostly around Ponyville, because you can't be bothered traveling.

'You're a fucking alicorn with magical power rivaling that of Celestia. How hard could it be to magic up a giant hollowed tree or some shit and move back in it?'

Your words of wisdom rang true on that day.
A week later, the giant crystal castle was gone, and the throne room with the magical map was the only vestige left, now the main room of the new... tree? Castle? Library.
Whatever.

You knock on the wooden door, waiting for a few seconds before a small lizard opens it.

"Anonymous," he greets you.

"Hey, Spike. Is Twilight here?" you ask, entering the tree.

"Yup. It's funny you showed up, actually. She was talking about you."

Ponies talking about you? You'll be damned.

"Hey, Anon," Twilight greets you as she walks down the stairs, "how are you?"

"I'm alright, what's up? Spike said you were talking about me."

"Yes," she says, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Do you know Cheerilee?"

"Who?"

"She's a teacher at the Ponyville elementary school. She heard about you, a strange creature from another world, and she was wondering if you would be okay with going to the school and giving a little speech about humans and Earth to her students? Maybe answer a couple of questions, you know, tell them more about you and the world you come from."

"Urgh..."

That sounds pretty goddamn boring. But then it's not like you have anything better to do, and you can always bullshit them for keks. Ponies are already rather naïve and gullible, pony kids must be even more so.

"Come on, Anon. Nopony ever asks anything of you, can't you do us a little favor?"

You snort. "Yeah, I guess I can. Alright, when would that be?"

She walks up to a little desk and a few pieces of scroll start to hover around her. "Are you free tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

You're free all the time, but she doesn't have to know that. If she did, she'd always be all up in your shit, asking you for favors and telling you you should go out and socialize and everything. Or at least you assume that's what would happen, you don't know for sure.
But considering we're talking about an immortal horse who can fly and fire ten feet wide ultralasers (fuck you, ultralaser sounds a hell of a lot cooler than hyper beam) at anything she wants... yeah, you're not taking any chances.

"Just be at the school tomorrow around four in the afternoon, alright?"

"A'ight, cool. By the way, do you have a book or two for me to check out?"

"Yeah, there's this new adventure book that came out about a week ago."

"What is it about?"

"It's about a pony named Schwarzeneigher and his team of hunters who fight against an invisible monster in the Everfree Forest! It's a little violent, but I know you don't mind that."

You really regret having told ponies about human literature and cinema. It's been weeks since the last time a book or a movie came out that wasn't a rip-off of something you mentioned at some point.

Seriously, all you have left from Earth is your memories, and you will not let these ponies tarnish that. There's no way in hell you're going to read what can only be a sissified PG bullshit novelization of one of the manliest movies ever made.

"I'm not reading that, Twilight. Don't you have anything actually written by ponies?"

She looks around in discomfort. "I do, but..."

"But?"

"Here," she says as she magics a large manuscript over to you. "This is, um, friendfiction."

"Friendfiction?"

"Yes. You know, when you write fanfiction about your friends?"

"Uh... I'm pretty sure that's not a thing anybody ever did, like, ever?"

"It is now," she says, obviously embarrassed. "Could you please read it and tell me what you think?"

"Twilight, I don't-"

"Anon, please! I really, really want to know if it's any good, I've been working on it for three months!"

Three months? Goddamn... is that a lot or not? You have no clue.

"Alright, fuck. I'll read it and tell you tomorrow. There's nothing about me in it, right?"

"Uh... maybe a tiny little bit?"

Oh boy.

"Whatever. See you later, Twilight," you call out as you walk outside. So, she wrote fanfiction about you... knowing Twilight, it can only be disgusting. And very well written, which means that you'll probably read the whole thing, regardless of how much you don't want to.

Fuck, this is actually really good. It's basically her life story, starting from when she discovered the Elements of Harmony, only with you thrown in the mix. Everything that happened to her and her friends, everything they've done for Equestria, recounted with you in the story, altering various events with your 'human ways'.

Judging from how wildly most of it differs from the stories she told you when you first arrived here, you assume she either greatly overestimates you, or has no real grasp on what humans can and cannot do.
That, or she believed all the bullshit you fed her the first time you two met. She questioned you for hours, what were you supposed to do? Answer truthfully?
Well, yes, but where's the fun in that?

This chapter you're reading, however, is really fun. You're not sure what the best thing is, this having ever been written, or the fact that Twilight seems to genuinely believe that if you had been there at her brother's wedding, you would have bodyslammed Queen Chrysalis into a wall and slapped her across the face with your dick before summoning Thor to fry her on the spot.

Makes for a fucking entertaining read either way. You also liked the one where Applejack kept fucking everything up because she just wouldn't admit she needed help. In the story, you walked up to Sweet Apple Acres, slapped Applejack across the face with your dick (which seems to be a recurring theme, you're pretty sure every single chapter features you doing that to a pony) and told her to 'shut the fuck up and let her fucking friends help, goddamn'.

It's probably the shortest as well as the most believable chapter.

You should really be sleeping.
The Sun is coming up but damn, you can't stop reading this. Even the chapter about you accompanying Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to Griffonstone was good. It was fourteen pages of nothing but filthy, disgusting smut featuring you fucking various griffons into submission, but it was so well written that you didn't mind.
Well, actually you didn't mind because of how manly and badass it made you feel, but whatever.

There was hardly any mention of what Pinkie and Rainbow were doing, and that's a trend you noticed in the later chapters, they tend to focus a lot more on you than on the other ponies. You know, the ones who were actually there and could actually do the things the story has them doing.

Also, oddly enough, there's hardly ever any interaction between Fluttershy and you, even in the chapters that focus on her. Your character only ever spoke to her once, in that chapter where you were all climbing a mountain to tell a dragon to fuck off or something. Twilight told you about what really happened, a leaf fell on Fluttershy's ass, scaring her and causing her to scream, provoking a rock slide.
In the story though, the leaf thing doesn't happen. Instead, the rock slide is caused by you sneaking up behind her and shouting 'ALLAHU AKBAR!' at the top of your lungs.

Go figure.

Still, this whole manuscript is just amazing overall. It seems like you're basically a god in her eyes so maybe your opinion is slightly biased, but shit. She needs to get this published or something.

You finally finished reading the whole thing, and holy shit that was the best night you've had in years. The last chapter was about Starlight Glimmer, whom you have yet to meet despite her allegedly living with Twilight, refusing to acknowledge the magic of Hearth's Warming or whatever. Basically the pony version of Christmas, from what you gathered.
In the story, you conjured up two bottles of vodka and a DVD of Die Hard by snapping your fingers, and you watched it while drinking with Starlight, regularly calling her 'tovarisch' and asking her if she was 'of serious'.

You're not sure how that would solve anything, but at this point you're really wondering what kind of shit you could have possibly told Twilight, and more importantly what kind of hard drugs you were on at the time. The only explanation you can think of would be that she drugged you to extract information out of you, then put you to sleep so you would have no memory of it.
Or something.
If that's what it took for this piece of literature to exist, you're perfectly fine with it.

As great as all of this is, you really need to sleep. It's like eleven in the morning, and you have a lecture to give at the school in five hours. You thought about preparing notes or something, but where would be the fun in that? You'll just wing it, it's not like you ever needed preparation to bullshit people (or ponies).
You put the manuscript down on your nightstand and close your eyes, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before Celestia wakes you up.

Literally, with the way your windows are placed, sunlight hits your face at about a quarter past three in the afternoon.

You wince and try to roll to your side to avoid the sunlight, falling off your bed in the process.

You groan and get up, rubbing your eyes. You have about half an hour to get ready and walk to the school, which isn't too far from where you live.
In the meantime, all you can really do is take a quick shower, change clothes and grab an apple, idly munching on it as you ponder what kind of stupid shit you could possibly make up to tell the school students. If you play your cards right, the kek will be topped by none.

You throw your apple core in the trash and wipe your mouth with your sleeve before walking outside.

"Alright, everypony. Say hello to mister Anonymous, who was kind enough to come here and regale us with stories from his world."

You walk into the classroom, waving a hand at the diminutive horses sitting in the back.

"HELLO, MISTER ANONYMOUS!"

"Goddamn, you little shits are loud."

Cheerilee clears her throat, tapping a hoof against your leg.

"Oh," you blurt out. Yeah, maybe you should tone it down a bit. "Alright, well, as you may know, my name is Anonymous and I'm a human. I come from a planet called Earth, which I believe is in another dimension entirely. I don't really have much to say, so just ask away I guess."

An orange filly with a purple mane raises a hoof.

"Yes?"

"Do humans have cutie marks?"

You pull down your pants and point at your ass, ignoring Cheerilee's expression and the kids' muffled laughter.

Another hoof is raised, this time by a pink filly.

"Yes?"

"Are you a monkey?"

"If you really wanna get technical about it, yes."

She snickers, poking her gray friend with a hoof.

"Anyone else?" you ask, hoping that this will be it, you answered two questions and you can now go home.

Cheerilee raises her hoof.

"Yes?"

"Can you pull your pants back up, please?"

"Oh."

"Anon, why don't you tell us all about the history of your world? Surely, a species capable of developing the technology necessary to travel the stars must have a fascinating history."

"Alright. So it all started nearly fourteen billion years ago, when the Universe was being directed by Michael Bay..."

"...but then Odin was tired of the dinosaurs running around and fucking things up, so he slammed a huge goddamned rock into the Earth, resulting in the death and complete extinction of millions of species. It also sent ash and shit into the air, causing something we called Judgment Day, and some time later Skynet became..."

Apple Bloom is writing everything down as quickly as she can. "Ah never thought humans had such an interesting history!"

"I'm pretty sure it's all horseapples," Sweetie Belle remarks. "There's no way Odin had the power to defeat the Indominus Rex once it transformed into MetalGreymon."

"Ah think it's because Judgment Day is a fire-type move, and steel is weak to fire."

"...raised their fists into the air, shouting at the top of their lungs that they would not go quietly into the night, that they would not vanish without a fight, and that they were going to live on... but really, they were just gassed. Decades later, survivors of the holocaust could still remember the six hundred and sixty-six googolplexillion. The end."

Cheerilee looks absolutely mortified, but the kids seem to have enjoyed your story.

"Anon..." she says in a low, angry tone. "You were supposed to tell us about your world and its technology, not... whatever that was. Can't you tell us about your more recent history? And in greater detail, perhaps?"

"Hm," you ponder. "Somewhere around the end of the story, some dudes figured shit out or something I guess, and we went in space. There's nothing much up here, at least not within reach, so it's not really interesting for now. But it will be in a couple of dozen years."

Not for you, though. Not anymore. Equestrian technology is... well, hardly even is.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we don't have the technology to actually travel to other stars. Or rather we do, but they're too far for humans to get there within a single lifetime. Even if we could go fast enough, there would be other problems such as radiation shielding, long term life support, fuel, communication... and there's also a finite speed anything in the Universe can ever reach."

"That's by far the most interesting thing you've said. Wouldn't you agree, kids?"

Judging from the expressions on their faces, they wouldn't. She can give you shit all she wants but unlike her, you know how to entertain a young audience.

"Anyway, I guess that about wraps it up for me," you declare. "Thank you kids, you've been a wonderful audience," you add, bowing and moonwalking out of the room, followed by an irate Cheerilee.

"ANON, WAIT!"

"Yeah, what?"

You stop walking and turn around as she rears up on her hind legs, pressing her front hooves against your thighs, causing you to back up against a wall. Earth pony stronk, goddamn.

"Hey, hey! What the fuck are you doing?"

"Everything you've said to them. There wasn't a single bit of truth in any of it, was there?"

You bring a hand to your chin. "Well, we did gas the kikes, but-"

"ANON!"

"Jesus, what?"

"You're going to go back in there, and tell them the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth, or Celestia help me I will-"

"No. You wanted me to tell them stories from my world, and I did just that. At no point did you specify that any of it had to be true."

With a hoof on your thigh keeping you pinned to the wall, she hovers her other hoof in front of your crotch.

"You will go back in there, or I will hurt you."

You're not liking where this is going. CBT is one of the few fetishes you don't have.

"Cheerilee, I don't even remember most of our history. I mean, things happened, that's all there is to it! I can't go into much detail, I just-" you let out a gasp as you feel her hoof against you.
This is not the way you wanted your day to go.

Before you can find a way to protect your balls, you spot Fluttershy outside a nearby window. She's looking at you with an expression of pure rage, which quickly turns into crushing sadness. You don't think you've ever seen something that tore your heart apart so violently. You look down and realize what your current predicament might look like to an outside observer. Yeah... you suppose that down to the very last detail, everything has always been your fault.

After a few seconds, she takes off at speeds you only thought Rainbow Dash capable of. You're pretty sure she just made a small sonic boom. That shouldn't even be physically possible, but then whatever planet Equestria is on must be drastically different from Earth. Here, you're strong as fuck and ponies are ridiculously light. Maybe the atmosphere, the gravity and all are different? It can't be different enough from Earth's to even begin to explain the cartoon physics and stuff like Pinkie Pie always bouncing around the way she does, but there's always the fact that this is another dimension entirely.

Why the fuck are you even thinking about all of this? You need to find Fluttershy.
You try to move, but Cheerilee presses down harder against your balls.

No. This is not happening. You need to go after Fluttershy, find her and explain her that this wasn't what it looked like. Well, honestly, this time. You used the 'not what it looks like' thing the day she caught you masturbating to gay porn. You're not sure if she believed you.

You need to find her either way, and this shit tier pink horse is not going to stop you. You plan on letting her know.

"ANONYMOUS, YOU WILL GO BACK AND APOLO-"

You grab her by the throat and lift her up to eye level, silencing her. "YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" you shriek, throwing her aside and taking off after Fluttershy.

As you exit the building, another horse stops you. This one, by barreling into you at the speed of sound, knocking you a few feet backwards, and onto your ass.
Into a puddle of mud.

Before Rainbow Dash can say whatever she wanted to say, you launch yourself into an expletive-filled rant covering everything that transpired during the past thirty-six hours.

Rainbow takes a moment to think about your version of the story, before cocking her head. "But Fluttershy said she just saw you with Cheerilee, she was-"

"Yes, and I'm telling you, she was trying to-"

"ANON, I WILL SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND I WILL HAVE CELESTIA THROW YOU IN JAIL FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!"

"...yeah, see? We're not exactly on friendly terms. Besides, if I wanted a part of a pony's body anywhere near my cock, it would most definitely not be a hoof."

"Why?"

"Is that really the most important thing right now?"

"Well, no. If you're telling the truth, we need to find Fluttershy and explain her everything!"

"Where do you think I was going before you slammed into me at escape velocity?"

"C'mon then, we gotta go!" she says, wrapping her hooves under your arms as she tries to lift you off the ground.

"Yeah, no. I'm like four times your weight, that's not going to work."

"Can't you climb on my back then?"

"Rainbow, I'm twice your size. Can't you just let me do my thing on the ground while you fly ahead?"

"You're too slow! Come on, step it up!"

You're lost in your thoughts as you run towards Fluttershy's home, Rainbow flying some distance ahead.

What if Cheerilee really tries to sue you? You don't think ponies have the equivalent of the police back home, but she mentioned Celestia. Maybe she'll directly report you to her?

Whatever, that won't do shit. Celestia is a nice pony.
You made sure to let her know the day Twilight took you to Canterlot to meet her.

You gave her ear scratches and belly rubs.
Sure, within twenty seconds you were tackled to the ground by five royal guards for 'assault' on 'Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia of Equestria", but you just pushed them off you, dusted yourself off and stood back up. The belly rubs resumed, and the little guard horses ran away in fear as they realized they couldn't handle you.

Celestia herself seemed a little scared when her magic failed to push you away, but after a while she relaxed into your touch. You promised you wouldn't hurt her, and you added that she was a pretty pony. She let you stroke her mane on the condition that you followed her into her bedchambers afterwards to give her a wing massage.

To this day you're still oblivious as to what it really meant for her, but shit was too soft and fluffy for you to care about the possible implications.

You're stirred out of your thoughts by Rainbow's hoof tugging on your shirt, and you realize that you have arrived at Fluttershy's cottage. You're about to knock on the door when Angel pops his head out of the window, pointing a paw in the distance, towards your own house.

"What is he trying to say?" you ask Rainbow Dash.

"I don't know," she replies, pointing a hoof at Angel, then at herself, and finally towards where you think your house is located. "Fluttershy went to Anon's house?"

The little bunny nods and you sigh, turning around. "This can't be good... I really hope she's fine."

You also hope whatever is left standing in your house is also fine. If she's capable of smashing it to bits just to guess your fetish, who knows what she would do after what she thinks you did back at the school...

You walk all the way to your house with the blue pony in tow, lazily hovering behind you. As you're about to push your door open, you turn to face her.

"Look, Dash. I know she's your friend and everything, but this is all my fault. I fucked up and I'm going to fix it, but I need to do that on my own," you say solemnly.

She takes a moment to think about it, before nodding and giving you a small hug.

"You could use a bath," you say as you scrunch your nose.

"So could you," she retorts, pointing at your mud-caked pants.

"You did that to me," you frown, reaching for her wing before getting knocked on your ass by what you are entirely certain was a sonic boom.

Your different atmosphere and gravity theory has to be wrong. Ignoring any of that, she would have had to burn hundreds of thousands of calories' worth of energy in mere milliseconds just to fight air resistance. And even if you ignore the internal damage that comes with going from a standstill to supersonic speeds in an instant, she should still be a pile of ashes.

Yeah, fuck those theories. This world is fucked up, but for once you blame wizards, and not the Jews.

You shake your head and enter your house, closing the door behind you. You hear low, raspy breathing coming from the second floor.
Walking up the stairs, you make your way to your bedroom and push the door open, revealing a small yellow pony wearing one of your old T-shirts, cuddling your pillow as her little body heaves slowly.

You walk up to the bed and sit next to her, laying a hand on her withers.

She recoils away from you. "Leave me alone," she says in a sulking tone.

You're about to retort 'you're in my fucking room', but you reconsider.

"It's not what it looked like. I swear," you say.

She turns her head to face you. "Do you expect me to believe you? Like that time where you were..."

"Yeah, look, that time it was bullshit. I admit it, I was totally jacking off to this hot as fuck cowpony. What if he's a male? I know a top shelf piece of ass when I see one," you say as you briefly glance at Fluttershy's hindquarters.

How comes it is only now that you realize this is another god tier butt?
Maybe because she put on some weight. She used to look frail and lanky, but now she's slightly chubby. Fuck, she's cute. That plump little rump? Unf.
You just wanna squeeze that shit.

You need to cuddle her. And rub her belly. And scratch her ears. And-

"Hey Shy," you ask, "do you want me to give you a wing massage?"

She stares at you as if you had just asked for a threesome with her and one of her animals or something.

Oh God.
Please don't let this be something she actually does, or wants to do.

"You do know what a wing massage is, right?" she asks with a blank expression on her face.

"Sure, I gave one to Celestia that one time. I probably wasn't very good at it, but she seemed to enjoy it."

The way she's glaring at you tells you that there must be something more to it. Until she appears to briefly remember that you don't have wings and aren't native to Equestria.

"You know what a wing massage does?" she asks.

"I guess? You kinda ruffle the feathers so the old ones fall out, and it also relaxes the muscles or something? I don't really know, to be honest."

Her blank stare is contagious.

"Shy, are you going to tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?"

"Wing massages are foreplay," she blurts out in an emotionless tone.

"Oh."

Well, there's that. And an immortal princess horse from another dimension asked you to do it to her. Which you did, although without a clue as to what you were actually doing. You don't feel violated, but then after some of the shit you've seen Fluttershy attempt to get in your pants, it would take a hell of a lot more than that to leave you feeling violated.

After a long silence, Fluttershy speaks up, looking away from you. "I already know the answer, but um... if the offer is still on the table, you can give me a wing massage if you want to."

You simply look at her.
She's your friend, she's cute, and as far as you're concerned, touching ponies' wings isn't sexual. To you, at least.

You take a moment to consider it. It wouldn't hurt you, and it would make her happy. You're still not sure if you're really fine with making a pony happy that way, but after all, why not.

Before you can answer, her stomach growls and she looks at you, embarrassed. "I, um, haven't eaten in a while."

"Yeah, neither have I. All I've had in the past two days is some fish and an apple. Man cannot live on bread alone."

"Bread?" she raises an eyebrow.

"I've tried that shit."

She stares at you, looking less than convinced.

"Hey, you wanna go out and get something to eat? My treat."

"Sure. If that's okay with you."

There's the Fluttershy you know.

"So, what are you going to eat, Anon?"

"Hm, I don't know. A salad, I guess? There's not much typical pony food I can eat, you know? No meat around here, and I can't digest flowers and shit. You guys don't even have potatoes, goddamn."

"Potatoes are poisonous, Anon."

"Not to humans."

She scrunches her face. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's just normal food for us to eat. I'd kill for a baked potato dipped in ketchup, fuck..."

"Ketchup?"

"Some sort of souped-up tomato sauce."

"Tomatoes are poisonous too."

"Well, it's not my fault horses can't-"

"I mean, what next? Are you going to tell me that humans use salt as a condiment?"

"...yes, Fluttershy. We do use salt as a condiment."

She hides behind her menu, apparently unsure of whether or not you're fucking with her. For once, you're not.

"So anyway, what are you going to have?"

"I, um, kinda want a hayburger, but..."

"But?"

"I shouldn't."

You raise an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I-I'm... I'm getting fat."

You shrug, prodding her cute little pudgy butt. She thought it was weird for the two of you to sit next to each other at a booth, instead of facing each other at a table, but soon she will understand why you chose for it to be that way.

You realize that you still haven't taken your finger off her butt, and she looks at you, her eyes lighting up for a moment.

"Is that your fetish?"

Goddammit, Shy. You were doing so well.
Still, you can't get angry at this adorable, defenseless little mare. You take your finger off her flank and boop her on the nose, causing her face to scrunch up.

"No, but you look even cuter with some extra cushion."

"Did you think I was cute before?"

"Of course, you've always been adorable."

She smiles but remains silent.

This salad isn't bad, but damn you wish they had meat. Fish simply isn't doing it for you, what you need is a big, fat, juicy steak.

Fluttershy is eating a bit messily, but you know that it's not her fault. She doesn't have magic, she can't hold things in her mouth and eat at the same time, and she cannot into dexterity with her hooves or wings.

You briefly hear a snicker and you turn around, spotting a table in the back with two young looking stallions. Meh, who cares.

Turning back, you see Fluttershy awkwardly trying to nibble at her burger. You decide to grab it and hold it in front of her mouth. She stares at your hand for a second, then back at you, and finally bites into it. She smiles as you wrap an arm around her neck and happily eats her burger as you hold it for her, occasionally taking a mouthful of your own food with your free hand.

A few minutes later, you both recline on your little bench thingy, your arm still around her as she lies there with a hoof on her belly, sitting like that aquamarine mare you've seen around town.

Absentmindedly staring at her, you can't help but notice how gorgeous she is. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is soft and constant. Even with all the ponies around you chatting and making noise, you can hear it clearly.
It's relaxing.

"You're beautiful, Shy."

Before she can process your words, you plant a soft kiss on her cheek, gently cupping her face with your free hand. She goes red, hiding behind her mane.
Goddamn she's cute.

You hear that stallion again, this time he's pointing towards your table with a hoof as he shares a laugh with his friend. You frown and give them the finger.
Obviously they don't know what it means, but it makes you feel better anyway.

You keep glaring at them, and eventually the one who pointed towards you gets up and trots up to you.

"Hey there, monkey boy."

You really don't want to be dealing with this shit. Not tonight. You can't be fucking bothered, so you'll just ignore him. He'll get tired before you do.

Disappointed by your lack of reaction, he points a hoof at Fluttershy. "Hey baby, what's your name?"

Why does this idiot always point at everything?

Three inaudible mutters later, he snickers again. "Blubbershy? So, what's your story? You can't get it on with a stallion so you settled for a hairless monkey instead?"

Fuck this, honestly. All you wanted to do was have a nice meal.
And also cuddle Fluttershy all night long because fuck what it may imply, you just want this adorable pone in your arms.

Apparently that faggot is still going, and Fluttershy looks like she's about to cry.
You really don't want to fuck him up, but he's making it hard for you not to.

"Awww! Fatty's gonna cry? Who's gonna console you, mister monkey over there?"

Yeah, fuck it. You get up, walk around the table and cross your arms over your chest.

"What do you want, freak?"

You sigh.

"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."

He stares at you in confusion.

"What the hay does that mean?"

You take a moment to think about it.

"Fuck if I know," you reply, spinning around and kicking him in the face. He's sent crashing into a wall as you lose balance yourself, crashing into a table.

...holy fuck, for a second, you thought it was Cheerilee.
You don't know this mare though, and she appears to be too drunk to care about what just happened. You glance at the unconscious stallion and decide that right now is as good a time as any to fuck off.

Fluttershy agrees, and after paying for your dinner, you walk back home, carrying the little pegasus in your arms. The night is not cold by any means, but Fluttershy's body is unbelievably hot. Both in temperature and in looks, in fact. You can't wait to snuggle that shit all night long.

You can't wait to snuggle with the pony who harassed you for months, whom you now find extremely hot. What the fuck happened to you, man?

You walk past the broken furniture and up the stairs, making your way into your room. You put Fluttershy down on your bed and smile at her.

"Say, Shy. You wanna have a bath?"

She nods and you grab her again, walking into the bathroom. You strip down to your briefs and get in your glorious human-sized tub, sitting down with Fluttershy in your lap. You turn on the water and wait until it reaches about chest height for you, at which point only Fluttershy's head and withers are out of the water.

You wrap your arms around her, pressing her back against your chest, sighing happily into her wet mane. You place your hands on her sides, poking at the base of her wings, which quickly unfurl. You caress the feathery appendages as she relaxes even further, letting out short, happy moans.
Letting go off her wings, you press her back against you and kiss her neck, bringing your free hand down underwater to her lower belly. You start prodding her little teats with a finger, peppering her jawline with small kisses and working your way up, trailing your tongue up her earlobe and lightly nibbling on it. Rubbing her teats between your fingers, you bring another hand lower down, feeling the radiating heat from her nethers. Her little nub is winking wildly as you bring a finger to rub against it.

"Fluttershy," you ask as your mouth lets go off her ear, "are you sure you want this?"

She doesn't answer, instead using a hoof to press your hand tighter against her arousal. You trace your fingers around her opening, teasing her folds as you bury your head into her mane once again, both your hands busy pleasing her.
Your little pony.

You gently insert a finger inside of her and she gasps, panting hard and leaning back into you even more as you start fingering her, using your thumb to rub her little clit whenever it pops up. Your other hand is flicking, rubbing and lightly twisting her nipples, and if her erratic moaning is anything to go by, she's enjoying every second of it.

"A-Anon, I'm going to..."

You smirk, going back to kissing her neck and adding a second finger, causing her to twitch and scream in pleasure. Her pussy contracts around your fingers and a rush of hot liquid brushes past them, leaving her walls even more slippery and allowing you to finger her faster as she rides her orgasm out.

You slow down, eventually taking your fingers out and tracing her oversensitive labia with the tip of your index. Her breathing gradually slows down and she turns her head as much as she can, looking at you.

"You enjoyed that, Shy?"

A long, contented sigh tells you everything you wanted to know.

The two of you are lying in your bed, facing each other. You're holding one of her front hooves with a hand, wondering how your life came to this. For the first time in years, you're happy with how everything turned out for you.

You didn't have actual sex with her. You just pleasured her, and didn't think much about the rest.
She wanted this. She needed this. She needed it from you, and you gave it to her. And if she needs more, you'll give it to her as well.

After all, you spent the past two days drifting faster and faster towards the singularity of horsefuckery, and half an hour ago you crossed the event horizon. There's no turning back now, and honestly you don't mind. Feeling this cute little mare convulse in your arms as you fingered her was one of the most satisfying things you've ever felt in your entire life.

For now you just stare at her. Her adorable smile, the moonlight reflecting off her beautiful turquoise eyes... somehow you know that she was always that beautiful. You were just too busy trying to protect your pony virginity to see it.
You scoot closer to her, grab her body and press it against yours, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Fluttershy?"

"Hm?"

"Cuddling is one of my fetishes."

She stares into your eyes, her own eyes slightly damp.

"Also, I think I love you," you add, pressing your lips against hers once again. This time, she responds, opening her mouth as her tongue slightly prods the tip of your own. The kiss is short but passionate, and as her tongue sloppily rubs against yours, you feel something you had never felt before.
Are you actually falling in love with this little mare?

As the kiss ends, she lowers herself a bit and buries her face into your chest once again, sobbing softly.

"A-Anon," she sniffs, "please don't leave me..."

"I won't," you say as you lovingly stroke her mane, "I promise you, Shy. I'll always be here for you, you will never have to be alone ever again."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Shy."

"Anon? Are you asleep?"

"No."

"I can't sleep either."

"Weak."

"Anon?"

"Hm?"

"You said cuddling was one of your fetishes."

"Yeah?"

"Um... what are the others?"

You smirk and throw the covers off you with a hand, wrapping the other around your raging boner. "I thought you'd never ask."