My Little Pony: Equestria Girls 3 1/2: The Diamond

"And to prove that I am right, I will use The Diamond to destroy your friendships, once and for all!" Steele held up The Diamond and waited until something happened.... nothing.

"What the hell I had it working back at the safehouse. Work you piece of shit. Ugh, great. I may as well call the Ancient Artifact Hotline to get this working." Steele then grabbed his phone and started dialing something and held it up to his ear. After a few rings, a female voice came on.

I'm sorry. Your call cannot be reached right now as your phone fucking sucks. Please wait for a few moments and we'll try to get a hold of you. You're call is very important to us. Thank you and have a nice day.Soothing jazz music was then heard.

"What? You have got to be kidding me! An automated call! You have failed me for the last time phone......... You see it's this exact kind of bullshit that I want to murder everybody." said Steele. Everyone started waiting for Steele to make his move, for like an hour. Some students were playing a children's card game, while others played soccer.

"Come on, pick up the phone. Pick it up. Pick it up before I stab someone out of sheer boredom. Out of many reasons why I would stab someone." said Steele. Just then a male voice was heard, not automated.

This is Jerry from Ancient Artifact Hotline. What seems to be the problem?

"It's this diamond. Ever since I've gone on a murderous rampage, it doesn't seem to be working."

Okay, first off, have you tried turning it off and on again?

"Have I what?"

Have you tried, turning it off, and on again?

"Since when did this thing have a friggin' on/off switch? It's a magical artifact!"

Have you changed the batteries recently?

"Are you listening to me? This is a piece of ancient history! It's a mystical diamond handed down through the ages—!"

Sir, sir, sir!

"What?!"

Sir?

"What?!"

Calm down, okay?

"Okay."

Calm down.

"Okay, I'm calm.

We're calm.

"We're calm."

We're calm.

"We're calm."

Okay, have you tried turning on it's WiFi capability function?

"WHY THE FRIG WOULD IT HAVE A-"

"Guys, I think Steele's mad." said Nathan.

"You don't say." said Percy. Steele hung up his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Stupid piece of trash. Oh well, at least I'll destroy your friendships in another way. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"