Two Worlds Collide: A Microscopic Tail

Alright, take two. What? You want to know what I mean by take two? Don't worry about it, it isn't important. Do you know what is important, though? Magic. It's everywhere in Equus; it's in the beings that live there, it's in the air they breathe, the ground they walk on--basically, if it exists, its at least a little magic.

Except humans. As you already know, humans weren't from Equus; they came from a world that lacked any real magic--at least, before a wave of it sent each and every one of them to Equestria--and thus, overtime, the effects of being exposed to it were... well, lets just say they weren't pleasant.

I'm not going to lie to you, I honestly have no idea how to explain this situation in a structured, coherent way. One day humanity was living their lives--with a few exceptions--and the next... well, lets just try and find someone going through it, shall we? Shouldn't be hard; its hitting everyone at just about the same time.

Lets see... ah, Canterlot; a wonderful city, it has spires, purples, a structural design that would cause any and all people with even the slightest knowledge of physics and/or gravity to scream in abject horror--I mean honestly, who builds an entire city on the side of a mountain? I read a book once with a similar design choice in it; house build with the majority of it hanging over the edge of a cliff, suspended by support beams and whatnot that dug into the cliff face below to keep it aloft.

It fell into the ocean during a storm. But then, they didn't have magical ponies building it, did they? Anyway, this particular city was home to a certain Minuette; a borderline creepy pony with an maya blue coat and a perwinkle mane that had a pigment blue streak running through it. Or, in normal person colors, she was light blue, with a darker blue mane, that had a greyish blue streak.

Currently, Minuette was walking to the post office to pick up a delivery; she missed the delivery pony all three times, for various reasons bordering on understandable--such as not being home--to completely idiotic, like singing too loud in the shower to hear the delivery pony banging on her door.

What Minuette didn't know, however, was that she could have avoided this whole situation if she just signed the back of the little slip of paper the delivery pony left on her door every time. That's how they work, you know; the delivery pony leaves the paper saying "I was here. and you weren't" on the door, and the recipient just needs to sign the back and take it back up and next time the pony arrives, they'll accept it as a signature and leave the package.

Knowing if half the battle, as they say. Speaking of, I have no idea where our protagonist is for this chapter. Let me see... Ah! He's... he's... oh, oh that's embarrassing. It seems our hero was currently trapped in Minuette's plot. How the devil did he end up there?

I'm joking, of course. I know full well how he got there, but it was just so mundane that it's hardly worth mentioning. Still, I suppose you're interested all the same. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to see, after all...

Todd's day started, as most days do, with the simple act of waking up. That, unfortunately, was the end of the normalcy; you see--that's a pun, wait for it--the moment he opened his eyes, he discovered that seemingly overnight, they had become incredibly sensitive to light. The sunlight--normally a pleasant thing to wake too, even for the Humans stuck in Equestria--was more like a flash bang had gone off right in his face. With a scream he clenched his eyes shut and buried his head into--oh hey, a chair! Remember my lesson from the Starlight Chapter? In case you missed it, it was to avoid chairs.

More importantly, did you get the pun? Todd couldn't see, and I said "you see", so... hm, now that I say it out loud I sound like an idiot. That's not even a pun, is it? Now, if I said his eyes became incredibly see-nsitive-- oh dear, okay okay, we're doing this over, hold on!

The moment he opened his eyes, he discovered that seemingly overnight, they had become incredibly see-nsitive to light. The sunlight--normally a pleasant thing to wake too, even for the Humans stuck in Equestria--was more like a flash bang had gone off right in his face.

Damnit, I ruined it. Lets just get back to the matter at hand, shall we? Todd was on a chair in Minuette's home--a place, if the cobwebs on the wall and copious amount of dust were any indication of, that drastically needed some TLC. I wish I could tell you that his sense of vision was the only thing affected, but if I'm nothing if I'm not honest; the scream was a bad idea, the sound echoing and pounding in his ears as though someone shot a pistol right outside them. As his ears rang and eyes watered, his muscles screamed with every move he made--cramping and throbbing, making it impossible to so much as stand let alone avoid what was about to happen.

In the distance, probably only a few feet away really, Todd heard what sounded like a series of explosions going off, each one closer than the last. Little did he know, that these explosions were nothing of the sort, but were simply the hoofsteps of Minuette--our antagonist, I guess?-- walking into her living room, a cup of coffee floating beside her in the shimmering azure glow of her magic.

Just like Todd, Minuette had only just woken up, and was looking forward to just sitting down, sipping her coffee, and going about her hum=drum day to day. I'm sure she would be horrified--and a bit embarrassed--if she knew that as she plopped her cornflower blue ass down on her chair, that a sentient, currently blinded created was slammed into her tail hole in what was probably one of the most painful experiences in its life.

Luckily for Todd, his smell was no affected like his other senses were, so while the smell was an overwhelmingly noxious aroma of horseapples--that's the G rated word for horse-shit, in case you didn't know--mixed with the almost sweet, yet still pungent stench of pony sweat and... do I detect a hint of lavender? Yes, and a greatly faded scent of lavender body wash--by the way, have you ever wondered how clean an Equestria Pony's rear is? Its a strange question, I know, but they don't wear underwear, and whenever they sit down their backdoor exit is bound to touch the upholstery.

Kind of gross to think about, really; what if they didn't wipe, and they sat down on your brand new white couch. Personally, I'd be furious with them, but luckily for Todd Minuette was--as I would expect--diligent in her cleanings. Sure, an asshole was still an asshole, but at least it wasn't a dirty one, right?

Todd, being unable to appreciate the silver lining in this otherwise dreary situation, only wanted to get away. The air wafting from Minuette's ponut had already entered his lungs, and try as he might he could only hold his breath for so long before his treacherous body demanded he take yet another gulp of the foul smelling substance, grimacing as his taste buds picked up a bit of her flavor each time.

He desperately wanted to move, to find some way to get out of the tragic situation he found himself in, but it was no use. His body, which was in pain before he was sat on by a four hundred plus pound mare, was no screaming in every way imaginable; not only that, but he would have to climb down from her anus back to the cushion.

Did I forget to mention that? Yes, Todd was actually stuck to the walls of Minuette's plot, not just beneath it. Every now and then the thick muscle of the pony's sphincter would twitch, sending a wave of both pain and revulsion through the tiny human's body. He knew, even without his eyes, where he was; the stench, the somewhat slimy, rubbery surface, the fire like heat that radiated all around him--and if that wasn't enough to tell him, he could hear the distant rumbling above him, the sounds of Minuette's bowels as they slowly processed something he definitely didn't want to be around for when it came out.

He didn't know he was under a mare, nor a pony. He just knew one of those giants had sat down on him, and he was now stuck to one of the most disgusting parts of their body as they--unknown to him--simply drank their morning coffee.

Several minutes past before Minuette finished her coffee. With a simple sigh the mare finally stood up from her seat--not only saving the tiny man beneath her from his very near suffocation, but also taking him with her--and trotted to the kitchen to deal with her mug before heading out for the day.

I'm sure she had all kinds of wondrous things to do; perhaps she was going to meet up with Lemon Hearts or Moondancer, maybe she was going to get a good book, or maybe... hell, I don't really care what she was planning for the day, because all of that changed when the little slip of paper fell from her door saying "hey, remember that thing you ordered? You have to come get it now!"

"That's kind of a bummer..." expressed Minuette. Oh, the things she had planned, ruined by a missed delivery. Anyway, that's more a less how we got to where we were when we started. With a bounce to her step, the mare hummed along her way with a sickeningly positive outlook on things, while the tiny man stuck in her back door did everything in how power to... well, not die.

Each step Minuette took was a nightmare for our blind hero; the sway of her hips, the constant motion of her hind legs moving back and forth in rhythm, the unconscious clenching of the pony's plot seemingly at random--It was all Todd could do to keep himself not only safe within the fetid rectum he had the misfortune of finding himself in, but also keep himself from going deeper.

He already made that mistake once; in his desperation to... honestly, I don't know what--escape? Just see where he was with his own eyes? Regardless of his reason, he tried to open his... hm, I just used eyes, I don't want to use the word again so soon...

Shortcut; the light wasn't any kinder to him outside than it was in. Blinded and in pain, Todd shied away from the light, but in doing so he accidentally sent himself tumbling backwards into the hole. Gone was the barely present scent of lavender soap, replaced completely and utterly by the musky, pungent stench of the mare's rear.

But there was a bright side to his new position, and in these sorts of dilemma's you really need to find the positive where you can--he no longer was constantly assaulted by a mix of the cold, winter air and the sweltering, humid heat of Minuette's body. Now, he was only subjected to one temperature; hot.

If I might be honest with you here, I'm legitimately impressed he hasn't thrown up. The smells I've described would be bad on a normal day, but imagine it at that size, while feeling the flesh of a giant, unknown being's anus constantly shifting and clenching around your body, the taste of it whenever you breath in or open your mouth.

And just look at him! He's coated in a greasy film--and it isn't from his sweat, no that was all natural mare covering him--and it only got dirtier the deeper in he went. He couldn't move, couldn't see--he quite literally was in the hands of fate right now, and if previous adventures with humans and giant ponies were any indication, that was a very fatal position to be in.

Luckily for Todd, he wasn't going any deeper than he already was, which was good since it took a few more minutes of walking before Minuette made it to the post office.

"Hey, I'm here to pick up a package?" Said Minuette to the incredibly bored pony sitting behind the counter. A few minutes went by before Minuette was able to take the package, but as her magical aura wrapped around the box it was all she could do--you know, I never understood that saying, I mean I get what it means but it just sounds so weird. It was all he could do not to sneeze, all he could do not to become a turtle, all he could do to--

It was all I could do to keep on topic, it seemed. What did we miss? Oh, Minuette was jumping up and down in joy. Heh, I bet Todd is just loving that--I bet it feels like some nightmarish carnival ride to him.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this!" Exclaimed Minuette, levitating the box to her forelegs and embracing it like a long lost child. "This is probably the best. Day. Ever. HEE~"

Thanking the pony for their help, Minuette--heh--skipped back outside. Oh goodness, the agony this must be causing our tiny protagonist in his current condition must be excruciating. I'm not going to pretend you don't know how this isn't going to end, so I'll just come out and say it; Todd probably isn't going to make it out of this situation alive. There you go, ending spoiled, the door is right over there.

For those of you who believe its the journey and not the destination that matters, you'll soon discover that the last part is truly an embarrassing way to go. That rumbling Todd heard within Minuette earlier was acting up again, only this time it was getting closer--like an earthquake was heading straight for him. Not only could Todd hear it, he could also feel it; the constantly twitching flesh surrounding him seemed to vibrate as the sound grew closer.

Todd wasn't an idiot, he knew exactly what was about to happen. Perhaps it was due to this knowledge that he was able to find the strength not only to stand up, but to wal--walking? Seriously, he can't manage something a little more desperate than a casual shamble? Well, it should come as no surprise that he wasn't able to escape, than.

It happened too fast for the man to even register; the mare's plot puckered as the hole expanded to a size more fitting for the explosion of gas that erupted from her depths. A reeking wall of heat and moisture slammed into the man with the force of a freight train--not literally, if it did than he would have been turned into soup from it--and within the span of a second Todd was sent flying from the Mare's rear where he gravity would bring him to a quick and merciful end.

At least, that's what you would expect, but the sickness that was infecting humanity wasn't all grit and no shine. As soon as the putrid gasses hit him, Todd's eyes shot open to allow all the world's unrelentingly bright light to burn into his skull. He saw something, an outline in the distance, and as if he expected to be able to reach it, he held his hand out, and vanished.

Well, teleported would be a better term; it wasn't the same as a Unicorn's magic, there wasn't any flash to indicate what happened or burst of magic to dump him out on the other side covered in soot--seriously, where does that even come from?--but instead it as though he phased from one spot to another.

Unfortunately, due to him being mostly blind and all, he was unable to tell that the outline he saw was not salvation, but was in fact the very same place he was just shot out of like some sort of human canon ball. Even better, all of this happened in such a short amount of time that Minuette's back door hadn't finished closing back up yet, and by some cosmic joke he found himself inside of her.

No, he didn't wind up in her colon if that's what you're thinking, but if we were to use a regular system of measurement for regular sized equines, he wasn't even a centimeter away from the horrors that lie within the pony's intestinal tract. Not that it mattered--Todd was too deep inside of her to escape again, and the act of teleporting had left him completely and utterly drained of energy.

He didn't even have time to notice just how filthy it was this deep within the giant pony before the muscles of her sphincter closed around him, trapping him in the middle of all that slime and muck without leaving enough room to so much as twitch. He tried to scream, to move; his insides--finally--lurched at the feeling of bile and sludge smearing into his body. Ugh, I'm actually feeling a bit noxious myself.

Was this it for Todd? Was he destined to suffocate inside the very end of a pony's plot, trapped among the waste that was too deep to be cleaned as she went about her day completely unaware of what had transpired? The answer, surprisingly, was no. While that very well could of happened to him, all it took was one more clench on the mare's part to crush our hero into paste, and within minutes he was no more distinguishable than the rest of the filth that surrounded him.

Minuette continued trotting home, at one point even breaking into an uplifting musical number that was aided by almost every random pony she passed on the street. I don't think I need to mention the fact that she was completely oblivious to what just happened, but I feel it necessary when wrapping up a story like this.

Now, if you're the sort of person that wants more, close your eyes... picture Minuette on the toilet... and do the rest yourself--because that is a chapter for another day.

Oh! Almost forget the lesson of the story! Lets see... I had one when I started, what was it? Was it to always look before you sit? Don't get sick, and if you do make sure it leads to magical powers...? You know what; I'll leave you with those two choices and let you decide for yourself which one to take to heart.

Anyway, who's next on the list...