Two Worlds Collide: A Microscopic Tail

Ah, smell that winter air... Winter Wrap Up is just around the corner, I can feel it! You know, its a shame Humanity couldn't be brought to Equestria in the Summer. Ponies running about left and right, the oppressive heat of their Princess's sun bearing down on them, making them all sweaty--not to mention all the summer activities that would be going on. And the bugs! Ugh, the bugs... revolting little things. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there would be so much more going on, you know? Oh well, you didn't come here to hear me prattle on about the seasons--you came here to hear a story.

And this one, is quite... well, its actually kind of gross.

It's only been a few days since humanity had been granted magic, and like children who have yet to touch the top of a burning stove they still haven't learned when to use it, and when to leave it be. For example, using their new powers to form tiny splinters from the floorboards to use as spears, or transmuting the fibers of a carpet or from hair that had fallen from the ponies into clothes and packs. These were all very good examples of when magic should be used.

And that wasn't all; remember in our last chapter, when the main character's body and senses were all overly sensitive? Well, I'm going to skip the exposition--because honestly, who has the time for that?-- and just tell you what's happened there. They could see much further distances, could hear things that were much further away, and they're bodies were stronger, faster, and more durable. I mean, they weren't going to survive being stepped on or chewed, but it was better than being squishy and fragile, right?

There, now that that's out of the way I can finally get to the crux of things. This story is going to take place in Ponyville--or, to be more specific, in the home of Vinyl Scratch and Octavia Philhar--wait a minute, when did her last name become"Melody". I have nothing against the name, in fact I rather like it by itself, but I much prefer Philharmonica as a last name than that.

You know what, I'm just going to make this easier for everyone involved and stick to a first name basis. Really need to double check these things before I start a story... Lets see, Vinyl's and Octavia's house, bedroom, argument between... ah! Okay, that's the only issue.

As Vinyl and Octavia slept, two humans were currently in a heated debate on a shelf that held a rather impressive array of vinyl records.

"That's fucking stupid, Jim, and you know it!" Johnny and Jimmy; they were two of the lucky ones, brothers back on earth when they wound up in Equestria they were actually together. As of right now, they were separated from the rest of their group due to Jimmy's rather... well, it wasn't a bad idea per se, but--oh, Jimmy's going to explain it in a second so I'll just let him tell you.

"We need to get their attention!" replied Jimmy, "Before now we couldn't do it, but we have powers John! We ca--"

"I'm not going to let you teleport into their ear, man! You'll be too tired to get back out--and what if they don't hear you? What if they already know we exist, but just don't care? What then?"

"So you think we should just keep surviving like insects without even trying to get their help?!" Jimmy walked up to his brother and gave him an anger fueled shove with his meaty, disgusting hands. Well, they were just regular hands but... ugh, you have no idea how boring it is to just Narrate! Sometimes I make fun of them, you know, but they never respond... Anyway, back to the argument.

"Yes!" Johnny yelled, shoving his idiotic, fat brother back. That was a lie, he wasn't fat, I just don't like him. Hear that Jimmy? You suck!

...

See? Nothing. Oh, darn--I'm distracting from the story, aren't I? Well, I'll summarize for you; Jimmy and Johnny went back and forth like this for a few more minutes, but eventually Jimmy got tired of it and, without so much as a warning, vanished from his brother's view.

"Ji--god damn it, Jim... I hope this plan of yours works."

Johnny gave one last glance towards the sleeping ponies--by the way, actually relevant here, this was the first time humanity was actually able to make out the entire pony. Needless to say, they weren't too happy to find out the giants were adorable, colorful ponies--and walked back to the group.

Several miles away, Jimmy reappeared in a vast, white forest somewhere on Vinyl's ear. His brother was right; teleporting, no matter the distance, always left humans weak. It took everything out of them, so it should come to no surprise that instead of trying to find the entrance to Vinyl's ear, Jimmy simply lay there like a bottom who refuses to do anything while you bust your ass trying to give them the night of their life.

A few minutes passed, and Jimmy was out like a light. Fun fact; pony ears were not only adorable, but at the proper size they made for lovely beds; they were warm, soft... well, that was it really but do you need anything else from a bed? The man slept for several hours before finally waking up, and though he couldn't see it through the forest of fur the sun was just starting to rise. Octavia was actually already awake, but Vinyl... well, does she really strike you as the type of pony to wake up at the crack of dawn?

"Fuck, how long was I out?" The human muttered as he rose to his feet. He was till tired, but this close to his goal he easily overlooked it and started towards... well, he was going towards the ear's opening, but for the life of me I have no idea how he knew which direction it was in.

Several minutes passed, than an hour, then two. The experience of walking through a ponies fur was a surreal one; each strand of hair stretched from the rubbery, pink skin into the sky like it were some strange kind of tree. The smell was strong, but not so strong that it was sickening. It was actually impossible to put into words--seriously, I have idea how to do it. You'll just have to imagine what a pony's ear might smell like if it were an entire landscape on your own.

Eventually, Jimmy reached the cave that made up the mare's inner ear. While he was initially prepared to go inside it, when he came face to face with it he began to have second thoughts. This wasn't just some hole he could crawl into, it was a chasm; a vast abyss that was long enough that he could easily imagine it were a lake devoid of water.

Not only that, but this close to the source he was able to smell it as well; it was a thick, bitter-sweet odor that would undoubtedly grow worse the further in he went. Still, he came this far, so with a gulp he leaned over the hole, took a deep breath, and yelled as though he were being chased by a Lion.

Whether by coincidence or because she actually heard it, Vinyl's ear twitched. While this was a victory for Jimmy, the violent shift of his landscape carried with it a heavy price. The man, not suspecting the ear to actually move, was sent falling into the sleeping mare's skull. His screams for attention became screams of fear, only interrupted by his grunts of pain as he hit, stuck too, and proceeded to fall from several buildups of wax before finally landing against the wall of Vinyl's ear drum.

This noise wasn't lost on the mare, either. With an annoyed grumble Vinyl sat up from her bed, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and looked at the clock.

"Ugh, 10AM? I'm going back to sleep..."

She would not be going back to sleep, however, as by some chance of fate her charcoal maned roommate had walked by just in time to see the mare sitting up.

"Vinyl! You're up early. There's breakfast in the fridge if you’re hungry, and since you're up you can help with some of the chores." Octavia gave the other mare a 'you aren't getting out of it now' smile before continuing to wherever she was going beforehand. Groaning, Vinyl crawled out of bed and grabbed her headphones from the table. There was an annoying... squeal? Ring? Well, whatever noise a tiny person makes when in an ear, it wasn't one Vinyl was enjoying, and the sooner she could drown it out the better.

I'm not even going to get into how those headphones even work; they aren't connected to anything, and I doubt Equestria has invented WiFi. A puzzle for a wiser man than I, I think.

Jimmy, unaware that he was about to be bombarded with probably the worst genre of music in recent history besides country, continued to scream and shout for the giant mare's attention. I'm not going to lie to you, he wasn't having a very good time right now; he was sore from his landing, and before he could get his barrings Vinyl sat up, and in the process made him once more fall--only this time he landed face first in a mound of earwax that was likely twenty times larger than he was.

He made the mistake of screaming while falling too... his mouth was full of the stuff; ugh, the bitter taste of the yellow substance was ungodly. I don't know if you've ever tasted earwax, but it's not something you really want. And at the quantities that he was tasting? I doubt you'd be surprised to hear he vomited up whatever he could.

Just made things worse, though. Earwax and vomit--maybe its just me, but I'd take the plot of a pony over the ear. Something about earwax just makes me wretch--and the fact that he was not only covered in the thick, sticky substance, but was forced to taste it too! That's not a fate I'd wish on anyone.

For a few moments he desperately tried to get the mare's attention. He called, he screamed, he cried--but while the pony was indeed able to hear him, what she heard was so unintelligible that she mistook it for just noise, noise in which was soon drowned out by the aforementioned dubstep she was so fond off.

It was as though Jimmy was trapped in a tunnel as a staccato of explosions blasted into him with all the shock waves and pain you would expect. His own eardrums were quick to burst, but even worse was the vibrations; each note, each beat of the song now only shook him to his very bones, but also shook the walls of Vinyl’s own ear. The mount of wax he found himself in shifted in rhythm with the music; his screams of pain and fear were drowned out not only from the noise, but from the tomb of wax that was slowly pulling him into it. Eventually, the tiny human's screams were snuffed out completely, as he was completely buried in Vinyl’s earwax before suffocating within the disgusting substance.

Outside, Vinyl simply bobbed her head in time with the song, eating a cold omelet while brooding over the fact that she had to help Octavia do whatever chores there were, oblivious to the fact that her ear was now the burial site of one Jimmy the Human. At least, it would be until she eventually cleaned them out.

Jimmy's group had abandoned their hope of seeing him after the mare had woken up, as well as any hope of getting help from the giants. Perhaps, in the future, they'd meet a similar fate. But that's a chapter for later, right?

And what might the lesson of this story be, you might ask? The lesson is that sometimes you are beneath another's notice, and that by trying to get it you might end up buried alive inside their ear while they listen to terrible music, no more closer to getting it than you were before. You might want to write that down.