Elusive Inspiration

Rain is a beautiful thing. Poems are written about the sound of it on a windowsill, and there are songs sung to it. Farming earth ponies rely on the rain for their crops, and pegasi are bound to the schedule of the rainfalls in many ways. As a unicorn I never relied on the rain for anything, however… in the end I suppose that makes unicorns an oddity. We rely on no weather, we're not dependent on the seasons to fill our bellies or to keep us warm or cool. We are in many ways seperate from nature… I feel that I fit that role more than most. I am not a farmer nor do I harvest the power of the weather. I run a boutique… that is tied closely only to where ponies come to buy my creations. I am not tied to a waterway or a trade route, or the fertile land. Instead I attempt to tame the fickle thing that is the sense of beauty that is present in every pony great and small.

I like to think that I know beauty better than most. I am constantly praised by my friends for my grasp on what courts the eyes and hearts of my customers. Although, sometimes I am at a loss as to whether they are truthful. I talk to Sweetie Belle, but she really is of little help. Her taste is simple, since as young filly she knows what draws the eye only on the most basic level. She can't tell me why she enjoys a design, merely that she enjoys the creation of her older brother. Dusk Shine is likewise oriented. He enjoys my workings, but in the end he's of no use as a critic. Butterscotch as well. It fills me with an immense sense of frustration. I cannot tell what makes my work successful. Thus, I can't improve.

I sat at my desk near the window as the rain came down outside. I felt like a coat with its pockets full of lead had been draped over my shoulders. There was this urge… I wanted to move up in the world. The natural desire to go beyond, improve. Dusk… he was a prince. Had been for a year. Now… what of myself? Nothing had changed back here in this old town. I made a fair fortune here with the townsfolk, but I never felt like I had improved. My work was stagnant, and my designs come out as my same style every time. Every piece of clothing is like the beat of a metronome, the same dull click. To these ponies and my friends, they see it as another beautiful piece of art. But I saw all the same things, again and again. And the torture was in trying to tell why I felt that way.

I've tried everything to try and change. Even purposefully used designs I thought were awful. But it still felt like… mine. It could still easily be seen as my own work. The thought of putting out another garment filled me with frustration, and I slammed my hoof on the table. Maybe the sensation would spark something in me. Nothing came. I looked out the window to see the fillies and colts walking home with their bags over their heads. The rain was merciless however, and soaked them despite their best efforts. Sweetie Belle had just got home… she would most likely run upstairs to avoid me as usual. She equated me to work on weekdays… which made sense, I did ask her to help me often. I stood, walking out of my workroom and to the stairs. She was walking up the stairs as I arrived. I called out to her, smiling.

“How was school? And do you need a towel? It's raining pretty hard...”

The filly looked back at me and shrugged before saying. “I'm fine… uh, it was good I guess? Diamond Tiara got detention, so that was good.”

“Oh… what for?”

Sweetie Belle smirked, seeming a bit happy that the bully had gotten in trouble. “Well, she threw away someone's whole lunch on 'accident'… so yeah, nobody believed that. Not even Cheerilee.”

I nodded and turned, walking back to my workroom. That seemed a bit odd… normally the bully was honest with her misdeeds. Most of the time she wasn't even trying to hide her maliciousness. She was the kind of pony that didn't need to, really. So why would she lie in this case? I put it out of my mind… I had more to worry about. Like how to not be stuck in this town forever, where my career would never progress. I looked at my next order and silently fought down the urge to call back and turn it down before burning the dress. I hated the whole thing… it was everything I was coming to hate about myself. The same shoulder slope and the stitch pattern, the way the legs were highlighted by the light colors… it was the same thing I always did. And I could turn around, change all those things and end up with it looking like another thing I had done in the past as well.

I sat at my desk again… looking out the window. There I saw a small filly playing in the puddles the rain. I smiled, observing her being happy. I wish I could be that content… with just playing with water. Along came another filly as she played, one that I recognized. The pink filly saw the other, and smiled. She went over to her, then motioned for her to follow. I blinked, then saw her trip the happier one into a patch of mud. The pink one laughed and walked off, leaving the other to sulk, now filthy. I looked down at my table… then I got up, not caring for my half-groomed mane in the light of the small pony being bullied. I went out my front door, holding an umbrella with my magic.

The filly sniffed, then sneezed as I drew near, most likely coming down with a cold for playing in the rain too long. I walked over, then held out the umbrella to her, allowing her a break from the intense downpour. She smiled up at me, and I gave a smile in return. She was taller than most her age… it explained her rather toothpick-like legs and thin frame. She must have just grown quickly. I knew the feeling, at that age. She looked to the side, then up at me again.

“Thank you mister… I, uh… wasn't looking where I was going.” She lied rather well.

“I saw what happened… there's no need to cover for anyone like that. I'm Elusive by the way, nice to meet you.” I said, motioning for her to stand up.

She looked away, caught in her lie. “Oh… I thought nobody was watching. Besides, you look like someone who would know her father… I didn't think that it'd do me any good to tell you.”

“Not all of us are cut from the same cloth.” I said, shaking my head slightly. “Now, is your home close by? I can walk you there in case she comes back. She gives my younger sister trouble too.”

“I can go on my own. Thanks though.” She said, giving me my umbrella back before walking off.

I sighed, watching the filly walk off. I felt a bit misjudged by her… but I had at least done the right thing in trying to help her as best I could. I most definetely would be telling the school about what had happened, though. Solaris above knows that saying something to her parents would be an exercise in futility. I decided to walk back inside, then go to my room. I had a long shower to get the water and mud off of me. Then, I went to bed… at not even six in the evening. I lacked the drive to do any more than that. The depression I felt seemed to return to me every time I saw one of my works, or every time that I saw one of the model fitting mannequins that littered the bottom floor of the store and the corners of my own workroom. There was even one in my own bedroom… though it was at the far side, the most distance from my bed it could be. Still… it felt like it was haunting me as I tried to find rest…