Masked

by Sparkletop Rainbows

Masked

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The sky is filled with sunshine and happiness

Everypony laughed and smiled on the inside

Everypony except for me

I stood in a corner, lonely and lost

But I wore my mask and smiled back

But inside I was screaming

My tortured soul was burning

But I was still smiling

When the day was done, I crawled into my room

The place for all my misery

I cried and wept

And unbottled the volcano inside

Then I screamed

I screamed so loud it shook the walls

I screamed, wishing for sompony to hear me

But nopony did

My head was bursting

My heart couldn't handle these emotions

So I slept wit the burden

Wedged deep in my soul

Everypony crossed my path, greeting me as they came

But nopony stood long enough to hear me out

This time, I did not smile

I stood with a solemn face

My eyes held no sign of pain

This was the mask I liked best

The mask that held no weakness

I did not like weakness

I hated it

hated it, hated it, HATED IT!

No matter my feelings on the inside

My mask on outside held nothing of pain

Of the darkness that swallowed me whole

I sat in my corner

The Lonely Corner, as I called it

I waited

And waited

And waited

For somepony to come

For somepony to rescue me

From the darkness that held my captive in its chains

Sometimes I wonder

Why?

Why must I be so tortured?

Why must the demons in my head torment me?

They are too strong

They control me

They make me feel weak

Perhaps I really am

Go away, nopony wants you, they say

You are nothing, and you will always be, they say

You are weak, puny, you will never be strong, they say

Go die in a hole, nopony wants you, they say

They say

They say

THEY SAY

I screamed, and pucnhed the wall so hard, my hoof bleeded

But I didn't care

I liked it

I liked the pain

I screamed, and screamed, and screamed

STOP IT! STOP

LEAVE ME ALONE!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

STOP!!

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

I punched my hoof into the wall again

The blood ran down my hoof

I enjoyed the pain

It made me feel so much better

It took away my internal pain

I grinned

I laughed and laughed

But I wasn't happy

I was never happy

The world was spinning around me

I was insane

But then I stopped

I fell onto the floor

The external pain gone

Many times ponies look at me

Like I'm a freak

That makes wonder

What was wrong with me

Was it the things I liked/

Was it the way I looked?

Was it... Me?

I don't know

Perhaps I never will

There is one other reason

Of why I hate the voices

I believe they are the demons making my nightmares

Every night

I dream of blood, gore, death, sadness, and more blood

Most of the nights, I wake up

Crying and crying until I have no tears left

This happened for a very long time

And then I got use to it

I felt like the darkness

I felt like a monster

I am the darkness

I am a monster

The world was filled with pain

The world was a cruel place

There will be darkness and evil lurking everywhere

Just like my nightmares