I feel a nudge to my left side.

“Kiss my ass. It’s been a long day.” I groan.

I then hear the sound of hooves walking away.

‘Thank god.’ I think to myself.

Then the hooves start coming back.

‘FUUUUUUUUUUCK!’ I scream in my head.

I then feel the hooves climb onto the couch and then a pony body about the size of one of the princesses lay on me. I hold in a grunt and as they lay on top of me.

I then feel a lick on my face causing me to open my eyes.

Lying on top of me is Luna. She has a bright red blush and her mouth is open with her tongue out.

“Why did you lick me?” I ask nervously.

“Because we are in heat. And thou shalt deal with it.” Luna replies with a sly grin on her face.

“I think I left the.... Rainbow Dash.... Running let me go turn it off.” I say with a nervous chuckle.

“Okay. Then we shalt get to the rutting.” Luna says with a smirk as she climbs off of me.

“Yep, definitely.” I say as I climb off of the couch.

I jog out of the room and then sprint up the stairs.

“CELESTIA!” I shout as I get to the top.

“Yeeeees?” The princess replies in a sing song voice.

“I need help.” I say as I grab and push the door to Sammy’s room.

“What can I help you with?” Celestia asks.

I freeze in the doorway as I look into the room. Celestia is wearing pink socks and behind her is Sammy wearing nothing but knee high socks.

“NOPE!” I shout as I turn around and run.

“Get back here!” I hear Sammy shout.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” I shout back.

“WHY SHOULD I WHEN YOU’RE HERE?!” Sammy shouts back.

‘FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!’ I think to myself as I sprint towards my bedroom.

I swing my bedroom door open to see Twilight and Chrysalis laying on the bed.

“LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND ME PLEASE! I BEG!” I shout as I slam the door closed.

“Okay.” Twilight replies as she uses her magic to close the door.

“Thank god, I owe you for that one Twilight.” I say as I bend over hands on my knees panting.

“I know exactly how you can pay me back.” Twilight replies in a sultry voice.

“Oh fuck.” I groan as I raise my head.

“Ready for a good ‘study’ session?” Twilight asks with a smirk on her face.

“Fuck it! I give up! Bring dat pony poon over here and show me what a mare can do.” I say as I rub my hands together.

Twilight starts to walk towards me slowly swaying her hips. She rests her forelegs on my shoulders as she brings her lips to mine. I flick her horn causing her to fall to the ground in pain.

Her magic releases the door due to the pain allowing me to escape. I sprint out of the door only to be grabbed by magic.

I’m then suddenly teleported into the living room filled with everything that lives in the house except Mark and Pinkie Pie.

“Wait.... Who are you?” I ask the burgundy/purple pony.

“I’m Miss Cheerilee and I’ve got a special lesson for you.” She replies with a sultry voice.

“Mommy.” I squeaked.

“I can be your Mommy.” She says with a smirk.

“Now just sit back and relax. We’re gonna be here a while.” Celestia says with a smirk.

I sigh and give up.

-5 Hours later-

“Son of a bitch.... My balls hurt.” I mumble.

I stand up and start to limp towards the kitchen.

“Oh nelly does slaying pony poon get a man hungry.” I groan as I open the refrigerator.

Inside is quite a lot of vegetarian foods and a few meat products.

I grab a microwavable hamburger and put it into the microwave.

“I wonder what I could do in a minute.” I think to myself as I scratch my chin.

*Ping*

“Nothing I guess.” I say with a chuckle.

I grab the burger and head out into the living room where I take a seat on the couch.

“Adrian!” Celestia’s voice calls.

I stand back up with a sigh and take a bite from the burger then walk towards where the voice came from.

“Yes?” I ask with a groan.

“We got a major problem.” Celestia answers.

“What’s wrong?” I ask nervously.

“Luna’s eggs have been fertilised.” Celestia says in a calm voice.

“Can’t be me I’m human. It must have been.... Urm.... Fluttershy?” I ask in a panicked voice.

“She’s a mare. Adrian. You’re gonna be a dad.” Celestia says in a matter of fact way.

“But I’m a human how is that even possible?” I ask.

“No idea.” Twilight says with a confused look on her face.

“Just Luna then? Can’t be that hard.... Right?” I ask with a nervous tone of voice.

“I haven’t scanned the others yet....” Celestia says with a nervous look on her face.

I cross my fingers and say a short prayer.

“Twilight is a no, Fluttershy is a yes, Applejack is a yes, Chrysalis is a no, Cheerilee is a no, Rainbow Dash is a yes.” Celestia says with a shocked look on her face.

“So.... Many....” I mumble as I stare at the mares.

“Urm.... Adrian?” Celestia asks nervously.

“Rainbow Dash is gonna have triplets.” Celestia says with a nervous chuckle.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” I shout as I fall to my knees.

“Rarity is a no....” Celestia says with a gulp.

“Why the gulp? Gulping is a bad no no. Why did you gulp?” I ask in a nervous panic.

“Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle AND Apple Bloom are all expecting triplets EACH.” Celestia says with a shocked look on her face.

“Wait.... Wut? How.... Many.... Foals?” I ask as my face pales.

“18....” Celestia says with a look of horror on her face.

“No.... I did the math.... That’s a lie.... There should only 15....” I say as my pupils shrink.

“Fluttershy is having twins.... And I’m having one as well.” Celestia gulps.

“Ha....Ha.....Ha.” I laugh before passing out.

Author's Note

How does Celestia know who's pregnant? Magic MOTHA FUCKA!

Anyway.... 18.... Bro got strong cells....