Tourette's Guy Goes to Equestria

"Umm... Rainbow Dash, I think you might have had enough..." Fluttershy whispered at the cyan Pegasus who was having trouble trying to stand upright, she was surrounded by eight empty beer bottles.

"Guh... I dun't need yuu tellin' me whart to doo, Flootershuy..." Rainbow Dash slurred, followed by a hiccup.

"You're friend over there seems to be in a jumble." Draconeequs assumed smugly.

"She's just had too much to drink, Discord." Rarity retorted.

"There's still one thing we don't know." Applejack began. "How did the big guy get here?" The cowpony referred to the large white-bearded human who was sitting at a table, opposite of him was Danny with Lyra at his side who was ogling both of them with fascination.

"I believe I can answer that." Discord answered before clicking his talons to reveal a levitating orb that showed the a vision of Danny's dad at his home.

"You see, I was eavesdropping on Lulu when she was trying to replace her toaster days ago before you met Danny over there and I happened to see her using unintentionally using more magic than she would've needed to teleport a small object like a toaster from the human world."

Luna scowled at Discord for spying on her, but remained silent to listen to the rest of the story. The orb's vision changed to a scene with the human and Discord.

"The magic did not create just one wormhole to Equestria, but two! And I was the lucky one to find the one that leads to you know who!" Discord pointed at Danny's father.

"And that's how Danny's father is now here in Equestria too." Celestia concluded.

"Exactly!" Discord beamed.

"Fuck the Philippines! They can fill up my ass." Danny's dad blurted before taking a chug of his beer while being cautiously observed by the other ponies.

'The one question that I still don't have the answer to is, how can I get them back home?' Luna pondered in her mind.

The door opened to reveal Twilight and Celestia, having returned from the hospital.

"His ribs and hoof are both badly damaged so he'll have to remain in rest for a few days." Twilight confirmed, Danny only responded with a smug smile. His dad on the other hand was called over by Rainbow Dash who pointed at a slim white unicorn with a pink mane and a Cutie Mark of a Fleur De Lis.

"Heyyyy... I'll give ya twenteh bits if ya try to git that mare's numbuh." Rainbow dared.

"Watch me, I know how to talk to big black women so a freakish talking horse should be no problem." Danny's father accepted the dare and smugly walked over to the unicorn.

"Damn bitch! You've got a stupid fat ass!" Fleur Lis Dee was disgusted with what she was hearing and retaliated by smacking Danny's father in the face with a front hoof, making him fall onto the floor. Rainbow Dash could not contain her laughter at the whole event.

"Dad, are you ok?" Danny asked nearby.

"Hell no, I'm not okay! I'm an old man and I've fell on my ass! Get over here and help me up somebody!" Danny's father retorted.

After calming down from her drunken laughter, Rainbow Dash sluggishly trotted over to the fallen human, holding out a hoof.

"About fuckin' time asshole! God damn it!" The mixture of cussing and Rainbow Dash drunken behaviour was enough to have her laughing once again, making her accidentally drop the human back onto the floor.

"God damn! Guess I have to pick my own ass up!" The human said angrily as he struggled to get back onto his feet and was soon charging straight at the cyan Pegasus despite Twilight's and Rarity's attempt to intervene.

"I'm gonna whip your ass you little son of a bitch! Come 'ere!" Rainbow Dash heard him yell, while trying to get away to avoid a possible ass kicking, she probably would've stood a chance if she wasn't so intoxicated. She flew around in circles to confuse Danny's father before landing under a food table. The said human spun around in search for Dash, until his eyes fell upon a bit of a multi-coloured tail sticking out.

"You think you can get away by hiding under there?! Well I've got news for ya, I can reach you and grab that!" Danny's dad said as he grabbed a hold of Rainbow by her Gala dress and was vigorously trying to pull her out. This however only lead to the dress starting to tear and rip until most of the dress had been separated from the garments that remained on the Pegasus.

"NO!! NOT THE GALA DRESS!!!" Rarity yelled in horror.

This gave enough time for Rainbow Dash to burst through the same door that Twilight and Celestia entered through. Danny's dad was about to go into pursuit when he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Oh shit!" He said before clutching his ass with a hand.

"What? You're shocked that you singlehandedly destroyed a very important dress that took me all week to make?!" Rarity asked angrily.

"No! I mean move, I gotta shit!!!" Danny's dad responded as he rushed out the door to a restroom.

Twilight turned to Discord who had been laughing like crazy through out the whole ordeal.

"That human is a riot!" He exclaimed through cackles.

Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie exited the nearby kitchen and walked in with a tray of cupcakes in a forehoof which she had baked to lift everyone's spirits after being authorised to use the castle's kitchen by Celestia. The pink pony was only halfway to the group, minus Rainbow Dash and Danny's dad when she didn't notice a piece of discarded food on the floor which she stepped on and as a result slipped, making both her and the cupcakes fall.

"Oh bob saget!" Pinkie yelled in frustration. Twilight and the others gave a confused stare while Danny only watched on with a proud look.