Salt, Anger, And Booze

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 8: I'm Not Stupid

By: Major Frostwing

-6 Months Later-

"Jon!? Where are you!?" Twilight asked as I glanced down from my perch in Twilight's tree. I rolled my eyes as I pulled something out of my pocket dropping it by her head.

"What do you need?" I asked as she looked up. "I was trying to get a nap." I complained as she rolled her eyes.

"Jon I just got a message from my brother Shining Armor." She yelled up as I rolled from my branch falling to the ground landing on my feet.

"Who?" I asked as Twilight let out a sigh.

"My brother Shining Armor... Captain of the Royal guard..." She said trying to get me to remember him. She let out a sigh face-palming. "You punched him in the face last time we went to Canterlot."

"OH!" I said as I smacked my forehead with a laugh. "That was your brother? He was kind of a tool to be honest." Twilight raised her hands in the air about to yell at me. "Twilight don't yell at me. I won't listen anyway." She stammered trying to think of some way to berate me before she gave up.

"Anyway he sent me an invitation to his wedding." I nodded before thinking about it.

"And? What does this have to do with me?" I asked as Twilight sighed.

"He sent you an invite as well." Now that is weird.

"Excuse me but I don't want to go. Weddings don't have enough... Pain and sorrow you know stuff that make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside." I said as Twilight whapped me upside the head. "I was kidding but seriously I don't want to go. I don't like weddings came to terms I was never going to have one so I don't like them."

"What about Nurse Red Line?" Twilight asked as I looked away from her scratching the back of my head.

"We... are going slow... You know nothing really serious yet but you know... SHUT UP!" I yelled as I looked away from her hearing her giggle.

"Anyway he invited you and it would be appreciated if you would show up." I rolled my eyes groaning.

"Fine I'll go but I am not getting him shit for a wedding present." I said as Twilight just gave me a flat look.

-Canterlot Castle-

-2 weeks later-

"Jon why are you being so sour right now?" Red asked as I sat next to the window with my arms crossed.

"I had to put my swords in storage... I don't like them being so far away from me..." I muttered as I shuffled deeper into my seat. "Why can't I just have my swords on the train not like I am going to use them." I said as Red put an arm around my shoulders pulling me close to her.

"Don't worry Jon it's only a little longer before you can have your swords once again." Red said as I continued to be annoyed.

"Uh guys there is some weird dome surrounding Canterlot." Rainbow said as I looked out the window to see a large dome surrounding Canterlot. "Twilight do you know what that is?" Rainbow asked as she stared at the dome.

"It's a protective shield to keep corruption and darkness away." Twilight explained as all of the girls looked to me.

"So how the fuck am I supposed to get in?" I asked as they all thought about it.

"I have no idea Jon." Twilight said solemnly.

The train stopped just outside the protective dome as we all gathered our stuff. I felt better to finally have my swords back but now it is time to try and get in.

I watched as Twilight and the others entered into the dome and I put my right hand against the dome only to feel a searing pain rocket up my arm. "GOD FUCK!" I yelled shaking out my hand. I let out a growl as I drew Solaris shoving it through the dome as an opening was made for me. "I fucking hate this damn corruption." I muttered as I moved into the dome before sheathing Solaris.

"Jon... What is wrong with you?" Twilight asked as I shrugged.

"A lot I guess." I said as I was blind sided by a group of guards tackling me. "GAH WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled as I felt them restraining me. "ONE FUCKING TIME I JUST WANT TO NOT BE TACKLED BY THE DAMN GUARDS!"

"CAPTAIN WE CAUGHT ONE!" One of the guards yelled as Shining walked forward but when he saw me he face palmed.

"SHINING GET THESE FUCKS OFF OF ME OR I WILL GIVE YOU A SECOND BLACK EYE!" I yelled at him as I felt one of the guards punched me in the back of the head.

"BE SILENT WORM!" He yelled as my eye twitched.

"Guards return to your post this one is allowed in." The guards slowly let go of me as I got back to my feet rubbing the back of my head.

"Which one of you fucks hit me?" I looked at them as none of them fessed up. I looked at one of the guards that tried to sneak away. "YOU!" I yelled as I charged him tackling him to the ground. "YOU CUM GUZZLING THUNDER CUNT!" I yelled as I picked up his head slamming it to the ground knocking him out before getting to my feet. "Alright the debt has been paid." I said brushing myself off.

"Jon will you not try and hospitalize my guards?" Shining asked as I shrugged.

"He hit me first. I repaid in spades." I said as I moved to our group looking down at Red as she gave me a scolding look.

"Jon..." She said as she placed her hands on her hips tapping her foot. I tried to stay strong in this adversity but alas I am a man and thus. I can't do fuck all against this.

I turned to Shining sighing. "Sorry for attacking your guards..." I grumbled out not looking at him.

Everyone looked shock that I openly just apologized about my actions. "Can we just go to the castle?" I asked trying to hide my face as Red took hold of my hand.

"Yes... uh... let's." Shining said motioning for us to follow him.

The Castle was still as boring as I thought it was going to be but now there was a lot of activity of people running around as if they were chickens with no heads. Heh... Needless violence... oh yes where was I? Oh right the castle. Anyway the castle had many people running around preparing for the royal wedding that was to take place.

I was nearly bowled over by a servant running with a roll of fabric. I already knew today was gonna be bad and a horrible feeling of foreboding gripping my soul. I looked around to see a few of the servants lock eyes with me before going back to their tasks.

A pink furred woman walked forward wearing a pink dress with two woman flanking her on both sides. Twilight ran up to her with a smile.

"Cadence I didn't know you were going to be the bride." She said before doing some weird little dance and chant only for Cadence to cock an eyebrow at her. She looked away from Twilight before looking up at Shining with a smile her smile vanished as she glanced at me only to be replaced by a look of sickness.

Something about this woman made me want to shove Umbra through her chest cavity and parade her corpse through the streets. I tightened my right hand until I felt my glove tear from the strain. I glanced down at the glove before sliding my hand into my pocket.

"Jon everything alright?" Red asked as I nodded to her.

"Yea let's just say I got a feeling." I said as I walked past this Princess Cadence and Shining shoving them out of my way. I sent a glare at Cadence which she returned. I mouthed one single word at her before I continued on my way.

"Bitch." Was the word I mouthed to her. Once I was sure she got the message I made my way towards where my room would be. I had to play this one a little close to the chest since I could feel more than one set of eyes on me. Looks like someone might be a little angry at me. Good it wouldn't be fun any other way.

Once I reached my room I set down both my bags and Red's we were sharing a room and I think that would be the best course of action. I took Umbra off of my back looking it over carefully before sliding it home and drawing Solaris. I saw the blade pulse with energy before it seemed to pick up it's pace as a knock came to my door.

I looked up at the door before slowly moving forward Solaris still drawn. I pulled the door open to see a servant holding a tray. "Room service." The man said as I looked him over he was tan with blonde hair.

"Name?" I asked as he paused.

"Bell Chime." He said as I nodded grabbing him by his suit coat yanking him into the room kicking the door close as I raised Solaris up to his neck.

"Scream and I will take your head off. We clear?" I asked as he nodded. "Who the fuck are you people and what do you want? An invasion of this scale is well planned out and difficult to pull off so start talking." I pushed Solaris up so it was touching his neck directly as I saw small wisps of green fire burn off whatever disguise he had.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said as he raised his hands. I pulled the blade back as I swung it slicing through him as his disguise disappeared in a flash of green fire. The tan guy I was holding a second ago was replaced by a man with black plate like skin almost like an insect.

"I want you to send a message to your leader and you will say it word for word to her face." I said as I sheathed Solaris lifting him up in the air by his throat. "We clear?" I asked as he gagged nodding in my grip. "Tell them. I look forward to you fucking trying bitch." I said as I pulled him down to be face to face with me he looked sick to his stomach. "Get your disguise back up and clean yourself up I want a glorious fight when it all goes down. So as long as you fucks don't get caught you all get to live a little longer. I will be waiting for it all to go down." I set him back down on his feet.

"Why not just turn me in to the guards?" He asked massaging his throat.

"Simple." I said cracking a malicious smile. "I want as much pain and suffering as possible." He seemed to go a little green in the face as he put his hand over his mouth. "What do I make you sick?" I asked as I thought about kicking him in the gut for kicks.

"No it is your emotions they are eclipsed by that rage you have. Changelings hate the taste of rage it is disgusting. I has such a rancid flavor to it and I can taste it radiating off of you." I smiled at that little bit of information.

"But anyway I will not interfere with your boss's plans until it all goes down tell her to bring her "A" game. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled as he quickly threw up his disguise picking up his tray leaving my room as if nothing happened. I took a seat on the edge of my bed steepling my fingers as a smile spread across my face.

"Oh fuck I am gonna have so much fun... Can't wait to gut that bitch." I said with a shudder of anticipation. I just felt so happy.