Chapters A Normal Day in The Mansion.
Today was like any other day. waking up in the same bed, in the same mansion, on the same planet, in the same solar system, in the same galaxy, in the same universe, in the same Reality..... more or less the same Reality that is.
I clear the ' morning-philosophy ' out of my head. that of which my brain just loves to make me listen to when I am just waking up. it mostly happens in the early morning or late afternoon... mostly.
I get up from my king size bed and start stretching, as it helps ease my muscles and relaxes my joints for some time.
I then walk over to the window and look outside, what I saw made me a little bit happier, as it always doses.
A forest, of trees, some rocks, creeping vines, planted shrubs. And I think I remember planting a small patch of poison joke somewhere in the garden to the side of the house. (Anyway.) The everfree forest to be more specific of our location. and yes I did make a mansion smack dab in the middle of a forest. Not at random either.
the sun was shining as it always does, I was doing my human stuff same as the sun was doing its sun stuff and whatever. and today I was... somewhat impressed by Celestia's work, more or less.
' Hmm. good job Celestia, you made yet another day as beautiful as me. ' I said with a hint of sarcasm.
I then make my way to the kitchen. Knowing full well that she will be awake soon. and so I will need to make some breakfast for us.
as well to tell her my plans for the next few months, but if it goes well then maybe it will turn into a few years. and that being renting the mansion to anyone with 1 Bit ( Credit, money, rock's Ect. ) in their Saddlebags. and yes, Rent will be 1 bit ( Ect. ) for 3 months, what? don't look at me like that. We are out in the middle of a dangerous forest, Remember! I have to at least try and get ponies ( And any and all species that are on the planet, And PLEASE read the Terms and Conditions of the contract before coming out here, and don't forget, we are not responsible for ANYTHING, that may happen to your persons and or belongings. This ad was forcefully paid for by discord. ) out here without driving them away with an expensive Rent, let alone the forest its self, and it's hard enough as it is.
anyway, I continue to make my way to the kitchen.
it was a fairly quick walk, I mean I did have to go through 7 different hallways to get there, what can I say, it's a big mansion.
I arrived at the kitchen.
For her, I decided to make a ( 100% NOT ) Real meat burger, some eggs, and bacon, with a drink of only the best Apple juice and a side of toasted toast with some jelly jam on it. And for me, I just decided to make some pancakes. about 3 ....... ok 5 ... maybe 7. but that doesn't matter.
it took a good. 6 to 7 minutes to get all the pancakes ready. and another ........ 12 . minutes to make everything else. but fear not for my food going cold, for I had already eaten my ...... 13 or more pancakes... as I was cooking her food. The food was already done and waiting. and just in time too.
She came trotting through the doorway and sitting down without a peep. same as any other day, but this day will be different. just a little.
I say my usual routine of greetings to her.
"Hey honey, how was your sleep?" I asked almost like on Autopilot.
She says the same thing that she says almost every day.
"Good, yours?" She questions with little interest.
"Meh. It was ok, but hey before I forget, I have some news for ya!'
"Oh yeah? like what." She sounds more interested now.
"Well, I was planning on renting out the rest of the mansion rooms, the ones that are unused and all that, you know to change up our routine a little. " I say just before Drinking some coffee.
"Are you really considering to let other ponies (And other species. ) into the mansion, let alone the forest?"
"Well, yes. That is unless you have any nays to say." ( No pun intended. )
"Hmm. whats the rent going to be?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.
"1 bit per 3 months." I say with some thought.
"That sounds Both like a Terrible price to me, but considering what they will need to do to even get here thou, pretty much makes that an even trade."
"I was thinking the same thing this morning."
"Really?"
"Ya... he,he...ya......"
"Right...."
She starts to eat her breakfast, and I just start drinking the rest my black coffee, I don't know why but I like it that way, even though I really like it with sugar and some cream. but still, I would go black anytime. ( Again no pun intended. )
she finishes her breakfast and starts to wipe her face off with one of those fancy napkins or whatever there called.
I then say what I most usually say at this time.
"Have a good day at school honey!"
she says.
"I sure hope I do. "
And so she gets up and goes to school, or... she would have. But before she even goes 2 feet I stop her with my leg and I say.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
She reply's "A hug, a kiss on the cheek and or forehead? my saddle bags?"
"Ah ha ha ha, somewhat, but no, no dear you're forgetting your Pet."
"Oh, thanks for reminding me daddy!"
"Your welcome honeybun." I said with a chuckle
Walking up to a brass pipe, of which was going from eye level to up and past the ceiling.
The pipe had a funnel like piece that you can talk into so that the person ( not in this case ) on the other side could hear you.
Silver then called into the pipe and said.
"Paging Beholder Number 7582, I repeat, Paging Beholder Number 7582."
A voice replied to her.
"ugg hmmerrr. wa-aah-wah-What?!?! did someone page me? I was sleeping so I didn't Hear it.
'typical beholder.' I thought.
"Yes, Number 7582, Your Servis is needed for the day.
"Yes ma'am, On my way.
Walking over to the door silver waited.
Her 'Pet' in question is more or less a beholder from the D&D series. Honestly, when I was thinking of cool looking things that could both protect my daughter and still pack a punch, I thought " What better than a creature that can completely negate any and all magic that It looks at, and those Eyes!!!. " now I know what your thinking why not a spinks, they can protect items left behind from the god's for crying out loud. well, for one thing, she is not an item, and also they are more for stationary guarding, and secondly, The Spinks looks like shit come paired to a beholder. in both their look(s) ( As they are very much different from one another. ) and overall philosophy. I mean really. A whole species that completely and utterly hate one another and everything else besides its self. And then we have the Spinks, I mean yeah. they are powerful. but so what. and they don't even look all that interesting. But whatever, I have been rattling on long for far too long now. On to the next slide!
The Beholder came in the kitchen from a hole in the ceiling above. of which lead to the seconded floor.
Taking her 'Pet' with her, she trots out one of the mansions side doors, this one going from the kitchen to the outside.
The 'Pet' of which I will from now on just call beholder.
Flu out an open window next to the door, as the door was too small for the beholder.
"Hmm. ya, just a little different. " I said smiling
* 5 ( or more. ) seconds later. *
The entire world started to get some paper ads all over their nation's towns, villages, cities, and private residencies, the adds were in the native languages of the countries. written fluently in each ad for any lifeform(s) to read, all the ads read as such.
" Need a place to crash? or just want to stay for a day? well, I can help. you can rent out a room for a while, just come to my mansion, it's only 1 Bit/Money/Credits/Rocks or whatever you use as currency, for a total of 3 months?, it's located in the Everfree forest next to the town of Ponyville in the country of Equestria.
* disclaimer * the everfree forest is not actually a part of Equestria, and there for half of its laws do not apply to MY country.
P.S. we have a pool and hot tub that you can use on weekdays and weekends, however, the pool must close at 9 o'clock sharp. or else you will be eaten, I am not joking, we have some nasty animals out here.
P.P.S. please ask for a local tour guide to take you to the center of the everfree forest or else you may run the Risk of losing your soul forever.'
princess Celestia put the Add down and breathed a sigh of sorrow and anguish, she then said.
"This will not end well."
then a small note popped into existence right in front of Celestia, just floating there, in front of her face. not in her magic. it read as such.
"No, no it will not Celestia, but she is getting bored, as well am I.
You and I both know that you want to make me happy. and making me happy is to make her happy. so just think of it as a peace offering I'm making, I make an ad to help me and her and you, me and her in not being alone. And you for hiring more tour guides, that should make Equestria get more bits in the treasury and all that stuff... P.S. if anyone Really does come by wanting to see the mansion and there's no tour guide to help them then they might really lose their soul and all that biz and what not. with love. your most hated enemy of them all. ~J "
Immediately after her reading the note it burst into flames and turned into ash. making a heart of ash on the floor, before it was blown away by the wind, going to parts unknown.
I then said
"Man, I love my not a real job of annoying the princess's job"
The New Hou~ Mansion Guest.
' it's been about 6 hours since the last time I trolled Celestia.
man, I'm bored. '
not even 3.14159265. seconds later the main door was being knocked on. hard.
hmm.? a mansion guest.? yay..... wait.. ( GASP ) a Renter...
I moved past all of the furnisher and got to the door in about ..hmm. 7 seconds, you got to give me credit I was all the way on the other side of the mansion.
anyway. I looked thru the peephole and I saw ... trees and rocks, as well as the pathway from the nearby town of pony ville to the mansion....
I forgot that they were pony's so I decided to look through the lower peephole instead.
what I saw did not surprise me, A RENTER! a black coated one. with purple mist coming out of his eyes, as well as a somewhat red horn.
a rather longhorn as well. again no pun intended.
and so I opened the door and said.
'HELLO!.'
the pony spoke in a rough voice filled with ice and cold-heartedness. I really like this guy already.
' ah, hi, uck. are you renting this place?
' yes indeed I am good sir, would you like me to show you around the place.'
' ahh. sure, why not. '
' GREAT! follow me '
22 minutes later.
' and this is the 400 and 28th {428} bathroom.
' ahh!. I have already seen to last 400 and 27 {427} bathrooms, there is no need to show me anymore. just show me a room. '
' whatever you say, but you're missing out on a lot of great bathroom action man.
' ahh. whatever. just show me a room'
' whatever you say good sir. '
2 minutes later.
' and here is one of the many guest rooms, you can sleep here. eat here. bathe here. drink here. and ~
' STOP! STOP WITH THIS MADNESS. '
' ok, ok jeez, so anyway. what brings you to my mansion? '
' oh you know running from the equestrian law and all that, also trying to make my revenge plans for the Future. '
' hmm, I know what that's like. '
' you do?'
' ya, let's just say I have a very long history with sun-butt. '
' really? I thought that I was the only one who hated Celestia. '
' Nah you just got to look in the right places, you know? '
' no, I don't. '
6 minutes went by of the 2 of us talking about how we can destroy Celestia in the best of ways.
it was only when silver spoon got home did we even try to stop laughing at the things we both said, that we will never repeat in public.
' oh hey, it sounds like my daughter is home. would you like to meet her?.
' ya, why not! '
we made our way through the mansion, to where silver-spoon is most of the day beside's her room. the old library.
I already read all of the books in there, many of them full of knowledge that in the wrong hands..... hoves.. can be used to destroy the world. but to be honest I don't care if anyone reads them, I mean it's not my business to stop them..... for the most part anyway.
and so we arrive at the library, it was stack full of books more so than the books in the entire canterlot archives or even the crystal empire's library combined, or even on the rest of the planet for that matter.
we saw her sitting at one of the old tables, reading a book called.
' how to become a Wizard for beginners.
and stacked next to her were four books called.
' how to take over the world without killing anyone for aristocrats. '
' how to use magic without a horn. '
' how to be a more powerful Wizard then star swirled the bearded. by king Sombra. '
and
' how not to die from magic when you don't know how to use it, for beginners. '
' hey there kiddo, trying to take over the world I see. '
I said while making the most trollish grin anyone, besides silver. has ever seen before. '
' ha, just kidding, so I want you to meet our newest and currently only renter.
she looks over at us and says
' hello.'
the renter says
'hello young one, my name is ex-king Sombra.'
'Sombra.... hmmm. the very Sombra that made this book here?. '
she shows him the book.
' ahh yes. how did you get that? I only made 1 copy of that, and the original accidently got burned in an explosion. '
I don't know, ask my dad, he's the one who got all these books.
she looked back at her book and continued reading, not caring of our presents.
'soo. umm, how?.'
' shhh. I'll never tell '
I then winked at him with a smile.
'Right, so how did you get the rest of these books then? '
' well, I may have cheated at some things in order to obtain all these tomes, scrolls, and books of ages past.'
' what do you mean cheated?'
' hmm. what? oh right, sorry I spaced out there. um, I can't tell you. '
' and why not? '
' because I will need to kill you if I do.......... AH HAHAHAHAHA, JUST KIDDING! '
'.. ha.... funny... '
'well ok then. you've met my daughter, so now we can go an ~ '
' how did she even become your daughter in the first place? '
I whispered to myself (oh no) and looked over at silver.
silver spoon stopped reading and tensed up, she slowly closed the book and walked away to her room. looking sad.
' umm. come here man. follow me. '
the pony looked a little confused, but did not question me, and just followed. I lead him down to my private study, I never use it. it's more of a spare room if anything.
' ok man, one thing I need to tell you right off the back. no, more like 2 things I need to tell you. 1. NEVER ask why she is my daughter. 2. never ask or say ANYTHING about her real parents, you got that. '
' ya, but. what happened? why did she look so upset? '
' .... (sigh) ..., you see it all started 13 years ago. '
' silver spoon was only 4 weeks old at the time, she was.... she was left in the ever free forest, '
' her parents didn't want her, she was out there for 2 days before I found her. crying, starving, hurt, alone and almost dead. '
I was almost about to cry.
' I took care of her for the last 13 years of my life, she was an angel, she never got into trouble, and she would even help me with the dishes, and she would help with anything else she could, like when I was tearing the skin off that one guy who tried breaking into my mansion. oh, how cute it was when she brought me the bone saw, anyway, she is still an angel to me.
' and ever since that day, I vowed to help any pony that is in need, and punished the deserving, and if I ever find her parents, I will not show them mercy. '
the renter named Sombra was almost unfazed by the revelation. but deep, deep down his heart was hurting. very, very much, not just from the pain of the 1000 year banishment he went through, but from this sad tale just told in front of him.
' well, that was.... something'
the renter called Sombra wiped a single tear off of his muzzle.
' ya,.... tell me about it. '
Bring your parent to school day.
Today I honestly thought that it was going to be SLIGHTLY normal for once, But of course, I was wrong. well, not that this is bad, but I'm just saying.
I thought that I could read a book like I use to, but no. This came up instead. Honestly, I think I prefer this over reading any day. but still. reading is good for the brain and all that, and to be honest, this is slightly boring.
Not to the extent of sleeping. but to the extent of me not really paying attention. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. We are currently in school, me and silver and the other classmates of hers, as well as their parents. I mean it is bring your parent to school day or whatever it's called.
I THINK that I am suppose to come so we can see what our kids are doing and how they act, and so the teacher can tell me how silver is doing in school, like grades and other stuff like that.
But anyway, as of right now I am sitting in one of the seats, ( that was empty when I got here. So first come first served, so stop complaining about it. You know who you are. ) in the front row, I just picked a random one at best. and as for the other parents, well. Most of them are currently in one corner of the room huddled in a pile of fear and whimpers. less than half of the class was doing the same. as for the one's that are not doing that. well, let's see here. we have.
Dinky hooves, Apple bloom, Sweetie bell, Scootaloo, Silver Spoon, ( duh ) Diamond tiara and last but not least Pipsqueak. oh ya, and twist. I almost always forget about her.
Now for the adults in the room, who are in the corner, anyway. well, let's see.
I think that the most famous of all of them would have to be twilight Sparkle, ( I think she was here to do a lecture afterward's or something. ) the second one is filthy rich's wife. spoiled rich, ( who I sadly have not had the 'PLEASURE' to meet yet ) then there is Rarity, who is not the parent of Sweetie bell but was the sister of her. ( parents are on vacation or whatever, I guess she's looking after her for a while. ) and Apple Jack. who is the sister of apple bloom. ( Her parents.... I don't know. sorry. ) and a few others that I am too lazy to name off.
But I guess I can say one more. I don't really know her real name. ( I don't think anyone truly knows. ) its the one that goes by many names. or just one if you only know one of them. either way. her name is.
derpy. or muffin. I really don't know.
maybe it's something else.
And as for the adults that ARE either next to me or near me who are not quivering in fear in the corner and crying like a baby. are these fine ponys.
Filthy rich, ( We go way back. in fact, we are best buds. ) and. well, that's actually pretty much it. the only one who is not scared of me would be Miss Cherilee.
AKA. the teacher. she was trying to not pay attention to the mayhem that I was NOT willingly trying to make. ( Both of us have already met, and we... umm. ( Cough. ) ahh. we may or may not have been in a relationship once. )
Miss Cherilee looked back at us all, with a frown on her face. " oh stop being such scaredy-cats, He can't harm you." she said ( at least not when he's in the same room as me. ) she murmured to herself.
I believe that only I heard her.
Some of the adults started to actually get some nerve and go to their child's desk, waiting for their kid to sit at said desk's
after that, some of the kids went to their desk. and others needed some coaxing by they parents to get them to even move.
after that was all said and done Miss Cherilee spoke once more. saying " Okay, now If we can get started. " She looked around the room to make sure that all the students and at least, the adults were here and present.
Everyone was present. so she said. " good, I am glad every pony Could attend this today, this does only happen twice a year. " she finished.
" Indeed. " both me and filthy rich said in unison. we both looked at each other, and we both said " you still got it buddy. " smirking we both looked back at Miss Cherilee. Who had a face saying ( but not literally ) Really you two? we both just acted innocent and he even started to whistle in fake innocents. and I just twiddled my thumbs looking around the room to avoid eye contact.
" ugh. boys, they never change, " she said with a smile.
Most of the class snickered at that. Both of us did too.
" Hmmm. ok class, today as most if not all of you can tell, it is bring your parent to school day. Now, can any pony tell me why. " she said with a smile.
( Side note about that bring your parent to school day thing. : Oh my god, they really are calling it that. )
" scootaloo ( who looked even more bored than me a few munites ago. ) Hoof on a cheek and everything. she said " I don't know. Something about them seeing what we do, how our behavior is, and other stuff. and grades, I guess.
about 98 % if everyone was either full blown staring at her, or they had her in their peripheral vision.
I did notice this before, but I never brought it up. Her parents or parent is not here.
" Very... adequate. " Miss Cherilee said with an eyebrow raised. " Scootaloo. "she said slowly.
" where are your parents? " Scootaloo looked up to her teacher, her friend's looking at her in worry.
" ...... " she did not answer.
I make a motion to Cherilee using sign language that at one point I taught her if I ever needed to tell her something that I could not say out loud. I said, or more accurately signed. " Drop it. You don't need to know. and she does not need to feel that pain again. " She only nodded in understanding.
Dropping the issue she said " Never mind scootaloo, if you don't want to tell me, that's ok, I understand. "
after that, the slight tenseness in the room dissipated. All eyes turning back to Miss Cherilee. all but one pair of eyes that went unnoticed by 99.99% of everyone. It was Scootaloo, She was looking in a random direction.
" Ok, now that you all know why your parents are here. let's show them just how hard we work on our math. " when she said that about more than half of the kids groaned either inwardly or out loud.
" I feel your pain. " I said in a get me out of this crazy school as fast as you can bus driver it's fracking Friday. type of voice.
All of the kids laughed at that. ( except Scootaloo. Who was not paying attention. contemplating on something. be it a little obvious of what it was. )
" Okey class, First question. What is 9000001 + 6979149?.... "
The class and adults just stared at her dumbly.
"Hehe, I'm only joc~ " she was interrupted by silver saying. " 15979150. That is the answer Miss Cherilee. "
okay so, if you could see the face that diamond tiara just made, oh man, priceless.
Miss Cherilee only blinked, same as the others. and you know what I did. I clapped my hands and said. With a large smile. " that's my girl! "
Filthy rich ( who was next to me ) said " smart one you got there. " " Indeed, in fact. I suddenly have a small feeling that I'm a slightly better dad than you. " I said with an ' I'm a better dad than you. ' face on.
" Oh ya, just like how you " WORKED " for your wealth. " he said with a sly grin, I snicker at that.
After everyone regained their composure, Miss Cherilee, who had the face of a nitwit on for less than half of a second. ( which of course only I saw. ) " okay, I was... not expecting that, at least not so quickly. " she then looks at me with an eyebrow raised. " what did you do to her, to get her that smart? " she asked.
I give her a smile.
" Well. since you asked. let's see. time travel, alternate dimension/reality travel, ancient libraries, and like 90 or so more things that you can't really comprehend. you know the basics. "
" Hmm. I shud have figured that you would do something like that. I mean alternate reality's I can understand, but dimensions? really? do you really need to give her something that advance? "
"Hey!, I only give the best to my little girl. " I said while patting silver on the head, both of us smiling, me haveing a rather wicked smile, not evil, but just the type of smile that kindly says, ONLY THE BEST.
She, on the other hand.... hoof, had a kind and innocent smile.
