Chapters The Ramblings of a Reluctant Villain
There comes a time in everyone's life where they have to stop and wonder; "Why the hell did this happen to me?" Well, that same thought is currently running through a certain human's mind as he is chased by quadrepedal ice golems in a frozen wasteland, whereas mere hours ago he was drinking punch at a party with his friends...
MERE HOURS AGO FLASHBACK
Dempson was on a roll, chugging cup after cup of the red punch while his opponent did the same. People all around him, be they guys sweaty from dancing, or girls who wanted a show, chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" whilst cheering with each cup finished. Just one more and he'd finally win the competition...
But luck was not with him.
The opponent stood up, placing his final cup on the gigantic stack of empty ones, as people all around them cheered. The Derpy Hooves T-Shirt strained to keep in the chubby belly of this "Brony," and Dempson couldn't help but sneer at it.
FAST FORWARD EXACTLY 1.73 HOURS
Dave was having a good day. He beat some hater anti-brony in a punch drinking competition, and he did it without his lucky Rainbow Dash hat. Sometimes fate does smile at you.
Then that smile turns into a grin as it stabs you in the back.
Just as Dave walked through a door, a bucket of punch, the same kind he just filled up on, rained down on him, drenching both him and his favorite shirt. He flung his hair to the sides to keep it from his eyes and looked for the culprit amidst the pointing and laughing teens, only to turn around to see a swarm of My Little Pony figurines flung at him. Trying to dodge out of the way, he slipped and fell...
Right into a carefully placed slice of pie.
When he got to his feet, his face was red and his eyes screamed wrath and murder. Said eyes fell upon the unlucky prankster who did this to him.
Dempson was giggling like a madman, up until the pie-faced, punch-drenched, pissed off Brony socked him square in the jaw, and then stomped on his face.
Unconsciousness was immediate.
Now Returning to the Frozen Wasteland
Dempson kept running. The skeletal horses kept chasing him. These golems of ice and bone had been doing this for hours now, and he was feeling it. If he didn't find refuge soon, he'd succumb to fatigue and die.Chrzzclikarz " One of the abominations replied, almost grinning as they started to catch up.
Dempson saw his refuge. A cave, with many icicles hanging from it's roof. He bolted for it, and just as the golems reached the entrance, he threw a rock at one of the hanging pillars of ice, causing a chain reaction of sharpened liquid to bear down on the golems.
Finally able to rest, he leaned against a wall and thought about the town he saw nearby. "Maybe they can help me? " He wondered as he drifted off to sleep. "Maybe I can go home... "
Two Years Later...
The Monster was at it again.
Sergeant Dusty Trails, alongside Privates Gleaming Sword and Iron Wall, pursued the creature for the third time that month. It seemed to have taken a liking to their town, unfortunately, and came on late nights like these to either terrorize locals or steal their food, sometimes at the same time.
"But not today, creature," Dusty thought, for the Princess had come to detain this aberration and finally put the town of Fillymanjaro at ease, knowing the Monster of Shadows, the terror that has been stalking towns and cities across Equestria, was behind bars.
Dempson was at it again.
He was being chased by three of those damnable pony guards for the third time that month. He just came in hoping to get some food, but no. Of course the damned locals of this town were ballsier than the others, and couldn't stay in their houses while he picked up any scraps they left behind. Of course the damned guards had to come and try to poke him with those glorified toothpicks of theirs, so he had to run every time. He saw what they were planning a few nights ago, so he knew they were smarter than the ponies in the other towns. They were bringing some sort of royal Uni-sus to try and catch him. Unfortunately for them, their plan would be stopped by Dempson himself.
Princess Celestia was having a good day.
She was waiting at the end of the path that three guards were ushering the creature through, and trying not to scream to the heavens of rejoicing salvation. The "Monster of Shadows," as it had come to be called, has terrorized the countryside of the Frozen Wastes for the past two years. Finally, she had been able to untangle the red tape of politics and do something about it. Once the creature was in sight, she would cast an immobilization spell, and then put the creature to sleep and bring it to Canterlot to be studied, and thus determine both what manner of creature it was, and what it bodes for Equestria. As Celestia saw light from the guard's lanterns coming rapidly down the path, she prepared the spell...
Dempson veered right, away from where the Uni-sus was placed, and ran into the forest. The single unicorn of the team that was chasing him fired beams of magic from their horn, frying the ground around him but not actually connecting.
Then the excrement hit the rapidly oscillating blades.
The Uni-sus charged at Dempson, a spell prepared on it's horn. He could hardly react at the sudden blast, and then...
Princess Celestia powered down her horn, seeing the creature fall unconscious. She quickly turned towards the guards.you who caught the creature. We were just doing our jobs."
Dusty Trails turned to his brothers-in-arms, "Wanna go get a drink?" He said, his horn lighting up and three bottles of hard cider floated in the air. The Pegasus and the Earth Pony looked at eachother before intoning simultaneously, "We can drink to that."
Author's Note
This is it! My first published story! Thanks go to The Oracle for being co-author. Check out his side of the story->here!<-
The Ramblings of a Reluctant Villain
DEEP BENEATH CANTERLOT...
Dempson's first thought after waking up in a glass cell, strapped to a table and gagged, surrounded by needles, was not "Where the hell am I?!" or "Am I going to die?!" No. It was, "Damnit, I hate needles!"
A grey unicorn with a chocolate brown mane and tail walked into the cell, taking up a position behind a large table, where Dempson could see many flashing lights and buttons. At the press of one, many of the needles angled at Dempson's heart. Dempson could only scream, muffled and wordless, as each of the thin pins delved into his flesh, piercing his heart and filling it with... something.
"Subject 47-Z-X, dubbed "The Puppeteer" for no apparent reason, seems to be responding positively to the condensed magical residue, now implanted within the Subject's heart," the unicorn said, glancing at both Dempson and whatever was on the table. "Subject should soon start passively producing magic due to the large dosage, thus forming their own reserve. Concluding test until further notice."
The unicorn pressed a button on the console, causing the needles buried deep within Dempson's heart to retract and the bindings release him from the table. The unicorn's horn lit up, sealing Dempson's wounds and putting him to sleep.
TIME SKIP OF SKIPPINESS
As Dempson drifted in the inky darkness of unconsciousness, he heard a gravelly sounding voice in the darkness say, "So, The Solar Tyrant got her hooves on someone else huh?" A strange flash of light appeared, and he suddenly found himself in a plain white room. He saw a horrifying looking figure. He looked like Freddy Kruger mixed with Sauron from Lord of the Rings. His armor was dark blue, with dark, near black dents where his eyes should have been. He had a large semicircle where his mouth would be, and his fingers were like daggers.
"Hey, don't freak out," The figure said. "Yeah, I look like a fucking nightmare, but shut up. My names Richard. Whats yours?"
"Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ! What the hell is this and what the fuck are you?!" Dempson shouted in a ~~completely girly~~ absolutely manly scream.
"Nice to meet you cupcake. To answer your question, I was a human. Because of the Solar Tyrant, I'm not sure anymore. Most scientists call me Overlord, but I'm the result of a magic experiment. Do you know how painful it is for your skin to be turned into metal? It hurts like a bitch."
Dempson looked around nervously, a little spooked from the information. "Okay," he said, "I know who and what you are, but what about this place?" He waved a hand around, gesturing to the empty white void surrounding them.
"Oh, this?" The abomination chuckled, "This is my mind. I can bring you in here because you're asleep."
"Uh..." Dempson was at a loss for words. He was in someone's mind?! "Why exactly did you bring me here?"
"Because I wanted to someone else that wasn't from here," It replied, "I mean, sure, I like talking to my blood brothers, but even they get tiring to talk to after a while. Plus, before you came, I was the only human here. Now, you're here."
"Well... Okay I guess? I've been in a land of talking horses for about two years, and after seeing you, I don't think anything can phase me," Dempson extended a hand, "The name's Dempson. Those horse demons call me The Puppeteer, apparently."
The creature grabs his hand and starts to shake lightly. "Ponies call me Overlord. Those that know about me anyway." He pulls up some chairs. "So, what's your story? How did you get the attention of the Solar Tyrant?"
Dempson rubbed a hand through his hair. "Well it started about two years ago, I had taken up robbing food from the ponies to feed myself. Fast forward to however long ago, I'm guessing a few days but I could be wrong, the uni-sus, who I'm guessing is this 'Solar Tyrant' you refer to, clocked me with a spell and I woke up strapped to a table surrounded by needles." Dempson paused for breath and sat down. "Anyway, a grey pony came in and pressed a button on the console in front of me. A few of those needles shot to and pierced my God damned heart, filling it with magic, as the pony said. I reacted positively, whatever that meant."
If Overlord had eyebrows, they would have narrowed. "That bitch!" He roared. He then grabbed Dempson and almost screamed, "That means she's going to send you here!" He got up and started pacing. " If she can't 'reform' you, then she's going to put you in this hellhole."
"The hell?!" Dempson screamed, "What the fuck do you mean, 'send me here'?!"
"What I mean," Overlord growled, "Is that she will make you part of Project Nova, where they will experiment on you, and turn into a monster. That's what I mean. Now, I have a plan that will help both of us. It will get me and my blood siblings free, and you don't get experimented on. You read the to listen?"
"Hell to the fuck yes, bitch!" Dempson exclaimed, "No demon project for me, thank you!"
"Okay, here's the plan. I want you to get her attention, and run around inside the castle. It may sound design crazy, but if you get her her to use up enough magic, the doors to our prison will be unlocked. We will break free, and head to a part of Equestria called the Everfree Forest. Now, you will be captured again, but I will send one of my Shadow Walkers to break you out. He will bring you to our current location, and we can go from there."
"Oh God, I really hate being bait... Fine, but you better come back for me," Dempson said, resigning to his fate.
Overlord seemed to ponder something, before saying, "Here, I will swear on the River Styx. That promise is very much real here." Overlord stood up from his chair and recited, " I, The Overlord, swear on the River Styx to come back for you and free you." Just then, thunder rolled in the background. "I am bound."
Dempson looked around the white expanse in search of the source of the sound. "How can thunder roll if we're in your mind? " he wondered. "Never mind, scratch that. I'm in, but with a strange Percy Jackson-esque feeling."
"It's weird, but you will always hear thunder when you swear on the River Styx. Either thunder, or lightning. Anyway, just to warn you, my Shadow Walkers look like zombies. But don't worry, he won't eat you. Just, don't have any sunflower seeds on you when you leave."
Author's Note
Hey, second chapter! I'm on a Goddamned role!
The Ramblings of a Reluctant Villain
THE NEXT DAY
"Well, let's get the ball rolling," Dempson said. Overlord said to wait until today to make the escape. "Something about a 'Nightmare Night' festival in Canterlot. They must need extra guards there to make sure it doesn't get rowdy or something," he thought. Taking the large pin that some sort of mutated pegasus-pin cushion hybrid gave him, he tried to recall, unsuccessfully, his lessons about lock-picking he got from his friend."Damnit! How do I get out of this cell now?!" he mentally berated himself. Dempson stood and, noticing a crack of mortar in the wall, chipped away at it with the needle. After several intense minutes worrying about the few guards coming and seeing what he was doing, he chipped enough of the plaster away to take out the bricks, forming a hole that was just barely large enough to crawl through. Dempson slipped through the hole and ran, hoping he could evade capture long enough for Overlord to break out.
Dempson ran up the wooden steps of the dungeon, taking two at a time, before emerging from underground in some sort of statue garden, right next to a stone, mish-mashed creature that posed as if he was singing."Whoever sculpted that thing must have been drunk," Dempson thought to himself. "Wait, do they even have alco-" bbbllllAAAAAAAARRRRrrrmmmm"Alarm! They know I've escaped!" Dempson shouted in his mind "Hell in a Haybale, I'm running on limited time here. Gotta make this count!"
Dempson looked up from his sprinting to see a swarm of pegasi and..."Celestia. All according to plan." Dempson ducked, weaved, and dodged throughout the garden, fleeing his pursuers and the magical blasts of the Solar Princess.
Deep below ground, there was a click...
Dempson ran into a maze made of plants, now running from dozens of Earth Ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, and one pissed off Princess. He heard a tune play, a song that had assisted thieves, rogues, and assassins flee from their crimes. A song, forever immortalized in the natural magic of Equestria's singing...
Dempson ran through the tunnels of foliage, guards chasing after him. Going through another tunnel, he looked to his left, seeing a grey Earth Pony with blue and red hair, blue headphones, and a gravestone mark chase a yellow pegasus with a green and yellow mane, holding a toaster made of... "Is that wood?!"
He took another turn, this time ending up between the Earth Pony and Unicorn guards. Looking between them as they glared at him, he ran down a straight path in the middle, the chase resuming.
Taking one last corner, he looked back, seeing that he finally lost the guards tailing him. Turning, he took a step forwards...
Looking up from the Dempson-Sized crater, he briefly wondered how he wasn't dead. "I'll file it in the 'Questions of Insanity' folder. I have more pressing matters to be concerned with." Dempson looked around, finding himself in an extremely large hole, bordering on excessive how deep it was. He looked to one of the cliffwalls, riddled with ledges and holes. He walked up to it and, placing his feet at hands on it, started to climb...
Before he was shot with a stasis spell and trapped on the wall. He levitated upwards, finding himself surrounded, pegasi hovering where he came from, unicorns, earth ponies, and an angry princess with a glowing horn where he wanted to be.
"I have had it up to the tip of my horn with you, 'Puppeteer.' Now, let's get you back to your cell, before I become truly annoyed," Celestia snarled, before teleporting herself and her captive just outside the gates of the dungeon, expecting to hear the same insults and threats hurled at her like every other time she came here. But, as Celestia prepped a deafening spell to mute the voices, she looked around to see that all the cell doors holding the mutations were open, the cells empty.
"What did you do?!" Celestia shouted, her eyes seething with rage. "They were trapped here for a reason, creature!
"Yeah, so no one would know what you've done," Dempson said, before being thrown face first into a cell, the door slamming shut and freezing over. Dempson looked around before sighing. At least he had done his part, now it's time for Overlord to come through on his promise.
As Dempson waited, an inky black sludge drifted across the floor, coming to a halt in front of him. The sludge slowly took the form of a thin, skeletal man with yellow orbs where their eyes would be. The sludge pointed at Dempson, before beckoning him with a single bony, whispy finger.
"I'm going to assumed that you're the Shadow Walker that Overlord sent?" Dempson asked, already assuming the answer. The Walker nodded, before beckoning again. "Want me to follow you?" A nod. "Alright," Dempson stated simply, running a probability check in his mind about how likely this was a trap. "If this is a trap, and I go, I may wind up in agony or worse. Trap, don't go, I stay here and rot peacefully in my cell, throwing away the one chance at freedom," Dempson contemplated, before settling on an answer. "Option B it is," He said, before following the Walker into a dark corner of the cell.
"Now, what is thi-wagh!" Dempson was cut off by a feeling of cold, numbness, then blacking out...
"...grugh..." Was Dempson's ever so sophisticated introduction, as he was roughly deposited on the floor of what seems to be a cavern. He blearily looked around, his eyes coming to a rest on the bleeding, hulking set of armor towering over him.
"Hello," The Overlord said, helping Dempson up. "As you can see, I kept my part of the bargain."
"Gruh," Dempson mumbled again, feeling seeping back into his body as the numbness of shadows faded away. "What is this place?"
"This is a cavern not far from the Everfree Castle." Overlord said, gazing out over the landscape
"Ah," Dempson deadpanned, "And where exactly is this cavern?"
"In the Everfree Forest. Hence, the castle being called the Everfree Castle. Kind of obvious, but right now I am to happy to be annoyed."
"Ah, good." Dempson smiled for the first time in weeks. He glanced out of the cave, before rolling numbers in his head and coming to a conclusion. "Well, it seems like it's about twelve o' clock at night. I'm gonna get some shut-eye," he said, mumbling the last part through a yawn.
" Very well. I will have Sunshine wake you up in the morning. Just, wake up when she tells you to, or you may have to deal with ice. Lots of ice."
Dempson paled at a tumbling thought. "Gotcha," he said, before shambling into the cavern for a place to sleep.
Author's Note
Third chapter. Now things finally get interesting.
The Ramblings of a Reluctant Villain
As Sunshine walked towards the bed with the other human, she snorted in disbelief. "This is the one called Dempson? What's so special about him?" She thought. Leaning near him, she said in a sickly sweet voice, "Time to wake up."
Dempson had been practicing this thing since he was ten. A friend of a friend's cousin, twice removed, told him about his friend's cousin's brother had this thing he said if anything not his alarm clock woke him up. After practicing, Dempson got to be the same, adjusting it to his life on Terra. As such, when Sunshine woke him up, it soon proved that those sleeping near him were in a bad spot.
As they walked down the hallway, sunshine kept on glancing at him with a look of disapproval.
Richard walked forwards, saying,"Ah, I see your awake. I hope Sunshine wasn't rough when she woke you up?" Sunshine suddenly lost her frown, and grew a small smile.
After some time, Dempson found Richard again. "Hey, I was thinking that while you set up a base here, I'll go scouting around and seeing if any ponies are nearby." He said, giving the cave entrance a glance. "Don't want to be discovered so soon after escaping."
As Sunshine walked next to Dempson, she asked, "So, what exactly are you hoping to accomplish?"
With a impressed smile, she said "Well, what do you know? You do have something rattling around in your skull after all."is a town here! "
Sunshine looked at it with a suspicious gaze, and said "I have a bad feeling about this." She then rubbed her head and said "There's something g about this town I used to know. Oh, what was it?"
" Okay, 'captain.'" As they started to walk away, they saw a mare with gray fur, a yellow mane, and wonky eyes. The moment Sunshine saw her, she froze, and just stared as the mystery mare was delivering letters.
"Richy my boy!" Dempson shouted, getting the bleeding suit of armor to look at him. "Have I got news for you!"
As Richard stood up, a pale looking pony with a pink mane and a black robe seem to come out of no where.
Night fell quicky, and as they reached the town. Richard looked over where the town was and said "So this is it, huh?"
"Hello?" Richard heard someone say sleeply. A sandy colored mare walked down the stairs, and looked around the room.
Author's Note
Sorry if this on isn't as good. Was rushing to get this out, and I am still an amateur writer.
The Ramblings of a Reluctant Villain
I'm gonna be frank and to the point. I'm not gonna languish in self frikken' pity. I have lost will and time to write. School and Writer's Block are my main menaces, and so until I find will and time, ROARV is cancelled. Please understand, and check out my libraries for other great stories to read in the meantime. Thank you.