Previously on the Review Team,

Meta-Ridley, Squidward, Starscream, Gwonam, and a few super-powered pets. Who would have guessed? After the second orb had been destroyed by Cerberus (the PUG, keep in mind), the trio (courtesy of Meta-Ridley) crashed somewhere in the Himalayas. Squidward is the only one not pinned down by plane rubble or knocked out. Now, how long until he cracks?

As Squidward exited the burning wreck, he looked around him. He gasped when he realized he was many feet above the Earth and that the snow was just so...refreshing since that last trip to the desert. Still, it was cold. Although, the upcoming temper tantrum he was about to throw might have helped heat things up.

"Stupid, stupid, STUPID LIZARD!" Squidward kicked a piece of wreckage with his foot-tentacle before wincing in pain. "If it weren't for HIM, this whole mess would be over with! In fact, this whole trip has lasted for only a few hours and already I want out!"

"I'll admit. This way to our destination was the most unorthodox I ever had to endure." Gwonam's voice was now apparent, as he pulled himself out of the wreck.

"Listen, Genie-"

"Wizard."

"Whatever." Squidward snorted. "I never asked for this! I just want a quiet life, that's all! A nice house, a job as a musical extraordinaire, a sweet life with a girlfriend, and NO SPONGES OR STARFISHES TO RUIN IT ALL! Instead, I'm nothing more than life's punching bag! A punch-line. A chew-toy." He sat down on a random rock in a huff. "The point is...can my life be any more dreary?"

"Tentacles...you don't know the first thing about dreary." Gwonam said with a dangerous tone.

"At least you can wish away your troubles." The squid said cynically.

"Try making the fact that your game BOMBED vanish." Gwonam glared at him.

"So?" Squidward raised an eyebrow.

"As you should know, I hail from a video game universe." Gwonam said, trying to speak softly. "When the creation of the gaming system known as the CD-I came to pass, I was brought into existence alongside so many others. The game I was in, Faces of Evil, was the game I starred in. It was going to be perfect. Or, at least, good..."

"I take it that didn't go so well." Squidward remarked. "That's life."

"It went beyond that." The wizard muttered. "After that failure, I was kept alive somehow. I didn't know why until I looked on the internet. Don't ask how that happened. It all became apparent." He bowed his head in sadness. "I was a joke alongside the cast. I was a fool who kept having his words mangled and his actions twisted into whatever shape or form the so-called 'Youtubers' saw fit. It was...humiliating."

"So...what you're saying is that your life is literally a joke?" Squidward asked, trying to make sense of this.

"Yes. You have misfortunes. I have an entire burden to carry." Gwonam sighed. "I don't ask for pity. All I ask is that whenever you feel like life is out to get you...remember me."

Deep inside, Squidward felt terrible. Here was an elderly man who had to endure so much ridicule and there wasn't even a ray of sunshine in that deal. Even the squid, with all the abuse he suffered, had his moments of clarity. He got a bit closer to the wizard.

"I guess we're both losers." Squidward said. "Nice to get away from it, though. Right?"

"I suppose." Gwonam said. "It feels nice to actually be part of a quest that matters. Even though the people here will never know we did it."

"Figures." Squidward snorted. "Still, I guess we needed to blow off some steam."

"I do indeed feel my rage quelling." Gwonam said, getting up from his seat. "Now, we have bigger things to worry about. Let us move and seek the 3rd and final orb."

"Lead the way." Squidward said as they trekked through the snow.

As they climbed, the elements were starting to take their toll.

"If only I packed more protective clothing." Gwonam shivered. "How about you, Tentacles?"

"S-s-s-s-same thing here!" Squidward shivered. "The snow's a-a-a-a-actually really fine, but it's just s-s-s-s-s-so cold here! Wouldn't m-m-m-mind a nice fireplace."

"Try out that trick I showed you." Gwonam said. "Create a field of water around you. That probably should help."

"I'm not a wizard, I'm a squid. What makes you think..." A gust of cold wind interrupted the cynic. "F-f-f-f-f-fine. I guess I could give it a try."

Soon, Gwonam spent a good few moments guiding the squid's arms in the right movements for the spell. After an agonizingly long amount of time, a pillar of water slowly stood up.

"I'm...I'm actually doing it..." Squidward looked in amazement.

"That's more like it! But don't let your thoughts run away from you." Gwonam smiled. "Concentrate on what you want it to do."

Squidward closed his eyes as he thought of the right shape. When he opened them again (after more random arm swinging), he was surrounded by water.

"Just call me Squidward the Spectacular and I've got a free trip to...wherever there's a good vacation spot." The squid marveled.

"You're learning fast." Gwonam smiled in approval. "Keep it up and you might learn more complicated techniques. Now, let us be off."

A few moments passed before they noticed a faint purple glow from a large mound of snow.

"We certainly are on a roll." Squidward said before laughing to himself a bit, his nose scrunching up as it usually did.

They headed for it and, after unearthing it, the orb floated up.

"Got a spell for clubbing things?" Squidward asked. "I'm not into fantasy, but I'm pretty sure-"

"Now, now. My magic isn't all THAT powerful." Gwonam said. "Maybe we should wake up our compan-"

With that interruption, the orb started to violently shake and shiver with power. The snow around it started to harden and the orb grew smaller.

"This bodes...rather poorly." Gwonam observed.

"If there was a good excuse to go back to where the others were, I've found it." Squidward said in a hushed tone.

The construct it had just formed looked like a bear made of ice, but its teeth were like that of a Smilodon. It growled at the duo.

"Now would be a good time to retreat." Gwonam whispered to his partner.

They immediately turned tail and ran as fast as their legs could carry them. The beast roared and jumped at them, starting a chase.

That chase was soon to escalate, however. Squidward and Gwonam both slipped and fell onto each-other. They rolled down the hill, the snow gathering around them with the Ice-Bear in tow...

Meanwhile, a few feet down...

"Ugh! I should have flown the craft, you impudent saurian!" Starscream yelled at Meta-Ridley. Fofo and Cerberus were still recovering from the crash.

"Aw, come one! You have to thank me for slapping you back to reality, right?" Meta-Ridley obliviously said.

-_-: Why is it we stay silent during times of crisis like the flying scene?

^-^: Ridley's the man! Or dragon. He can fix anything!

"Guys, guys! Let's just play it by year." Meta-Ridley said to no-one in particular.

"Who are you talking to?" Starscream asked, annoyed.

"That giant snowball heading towards us." Meta-Ridley joked.

They soon realized that the hilarity had died in an instant.

"WHAT?!" They both went. The animals turned their heads to the incoming ball.

"AHHHHH!!!" Screamed the incoming Squidward/Gwonam ball.

BASH!

(Events correspond to music time above text)

(0:00-0:13)

Now, all of the poor souls were crushed into the ball. Starscream, on the other hand, was running on it as if it were a reverse hamster ball. It was quite a humorous sight for anyone but to the group. Whom felt nothing but agony.

(0:14-0:22)

Behind the ball, the Ice construct creature was in hot pursuit. It roared as it barreled through various mounds of snow.

The Decepticon seeker ignored that fact that he was stomping on Squidward's face time and again. Thus, he continued to run.

(0:23-0:31)

"GAH!" He screamed as icicles began to race towards the back of his head. The creature was firing them at him from its mouth en masse. "Why did I have to enter a world of magic and misery?!?!"

The beast slashed through a tree as the Seeker lamented. Nothing would stop it as long as it lived.

(0:32-0:45)

To his ever-growing horror, a giant hen-house laid in front of them. Cue them crashing through it.

"GET THEM OFF OF ME!" Starscream shouted as the fowl inside began to freak out. Feathers flew out of the windows as the ball made its way through it.

"NOW I KNOW HOW LINK FEELS!" Gwonam cried out.

"HI, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!" Meta-Ridley cheered.

"SHOO! SHOO!" Squidward yelled.

Starscream coughed out a bunch of feathers before he realized that the end of the chicken house was...directly above a cliff.

"SCRAP!!!" He screamed.

(0:46-0:59)

With that, the ball, Starscream, and the Ice Bear careened off the cliff. The Decepticon was so terrified, he forgot to transform. Even when he tried to, the feathers kept clogging his systems.

Eventually, though, they all landed safely in more snow. Starscream, however, was running a bit more awkwardly due to the shock of the fall.

"Alright. Can't get any worse from-"

Trip.

(0:59-1:17)

With that slip of the stabilizing servo, Starscream became a part of the ever-increasing snowball. He screamed with pain as his head hit many a rock. They just kept tumbling down the mountain, the beast still pursuing them like there was no tomorrow.

At some point during this, the ball began to bounce up and down the slope, causing a sizeable crack to form every-time.

(1:18-1:53)

For some odd reason, there was a rather large strip joint in front of them now. The following happened as they cruised through the inside, causing thousands of dollars in property damage.

"COMING THROUGH!" Squidward yelled.

"Ladies!" Meta-Ridley joked.

"EXCUSE ME MADAM!" Gwonam yelled to a bunch of girls doing the can-can.

"Are those real?" Starscream said to himself skeptically.

"MOTHER?!" Squidward looked in horror at a brief image of his mom being there.

They soon exited (shame they never got to see the Ice-Bear with a bra on its head briefly) and now the snow ball was bigger than ever! It was either because of the snow or because they passed through another type of 'snow' that the coots at the joint sniff up their nose.

(1:53-2:04)

There was no stopping the raging pile of snow and bafoons now. For the snowball was the size of a massive boulder. The screaming was non-existant, for the group was completely buried in it.

Just as the Ice-Bear was about to finally catch up, they hit a ramp that flung the snowball into the air...

...and right on top of the construct. The chase, as well as the panic inducing music, had ended.

Meanwhile in New York,

Golus continued to build random object from rubble. Most of it was just stacks of it, but he would sometimes make flimsy-looking toy cars and play around with them until they broke apart.

"Are we dead yet?" Marceline woke up from yet another long nap. The sun had thankfully been blotted out by the purple sky around the city, so that clears up that plothole. "Say, Fluttershy? You seem active."

"Well, Golus over there is learning how to be creative rather than be destructive." The pegasus said as Golus started to make an attempt at a cylinder. He was putting triangle-like bits on it, as well.

"That's...kinda cute." Marceline shrugged. "Doesn't change the fact that we're stuck here forever unless something around here happens."

"I know." Fluttershy sighed. "He's been a bit stubborn about that. I don't know why."

The golem had put the final triangle bit on. It was a crudely done spaceship, apparently. He lifted it up and raised it above his head, waving it in the air.

"Suppose we tell him to 'be a good boy and let the good guys free'?" Marceline made an exaggerated cute face before going back to a scowl. "Pft. Yeah. As if. Let's not forget that little injury he gave me. I'll show you." She began to remove her shirt.

"What if one of the others sees you doing that?" The pegasus asked innocently.

"Nah. It's just us girls." The vampire shrugged. She finally removed it, leaving her torso bare. It also revealed a large lightning-like scar on her back, causing Fluttershy to gasp. There was even exposed burnt flesh.

"Give me a second." The Element of Kindness flew to the end of the prism prison.

"You sure you don't want to take it all in?" Marceline groaned. "It'll take weeks for this to heal. And I'm usually good at doing that. Not to say it doesn't look kinda cool..."

Just then, Z-Squared started to wake up. "Ugh...when's the next Legendary Godzilla film aga-" His eyes bulged when he saw in front of him.

Marceline. A girl. Topless. 1000 years can make a sight like that all the more special. And utterly awkward, if you're this guy.

"AIEEEEEEEE!!! I AM SO SORRY!" Z-Squared screamed like a little girl and covered his eyes with his sword.

"What the-oh. Welcome back to the land of the living." Marceline said as she put back on her shirt. "Alright. What did you see?"

"Pointless fan-service." He replied, still hiding behind the sword.

"Surprised you didn't wake anyone up with that scream of yours." She smirked. "Quite being modest. I don't mind getting a bit...you know...distasteful now and again."

"She's right, you know." Finn muttered in his sleep.

Z-Squared put down the sword. "Okay. I'm just a little perturbed we interrupted the fanfic just for-"

DOOM! DOOM!

The footsteps of Golus heading over to them interrupted that moment. He leaned down to Marceline's level, Fluttershy getting back to the group as well.

"Now, tell her you're sorry." Fluttershy strictly told the behemoth. His head turned to the vampire queen.

"I'm going back to sleep now." Z-Squared said before doing exactly that.

The beast showed off his headlights several times, as if to communicate.

"If that's an apology, then how about this?" Marceline leaned against the wall. "Free us and I might consider accepting it."

"See? If you do something nice for her, she'll do something nice for you." Fluttershy said. "Give it a chance. We'll all forgive you."

Golus looked around the area. So much devastation. So much loss of life. He observed it all. All because of him. Was that what he was thinking? Or was it something different? Because all he did was stand there and bow his head in depression.

"Look." Fluttershy flew to the top of the prison, though it didn't even bring her close to the monster's head. "You're not a bad...thing. You just made a bad decision. Now, make the right one. Please."

Just then, the beast lifted his arms to the air.

"What's he doing now?" Marceline raised an eyebrow.

"He's...reaching out for something." The pegasus observed. "There's something he wants right now."

Golus began to hop up and down, getting faster as time went on. There was a sort of desperation to his jumping, as if he wanted to go to wherever the place was in the sky. He tripped at the 9th hop and fell on his face, causing a shockwave.

"Should have constructed some wings into him." The vampire snarked. "Didn't think that far ahead, didn't he?"

"Marceline! Look at him!" Fluttershy pointed to the clearly despondent golem. He walked away from the prison, his shoulders sagged and his head down.

"Okay. I've got a bunch of questions right now." Marceline remarked. "Is he evil or is he just confused?"

"I'm thinking the latter." Fluttershy sighed. "That poor creature. He probably doesn't even want to be here."

The Golem just sat down and kept staring at its spaceship.

Meanwhile in the Himalayas,

"WHOO! We totaled that thing! We can go home now!" Meta-Ridley raised his arms in triumph as he burst through the ball alongside the others.

"For once, I agree with you." Squidward breathed. "No more monsters. And hopefully, this won't scar me for life."

"Why am I not dead yet?" Gwonam examined himself. "That was some trip we had. My bones should be powder."

^-^: Should we tell him we're in a bad fanfic?

-_-: Most can't handle the strain. Just let him go.

"Let me call Cinemacus." Starsceam used his radio to all upon Sir. "It's about time we escaped this insa-"

BOOM!

The pile of snow burst open, revealing the Ice-Bear. Only this time, it was standing on two legs. The beast roared with primordial fury as its claws and teeth extended.

"I really hate magic." Starscream groaned.

"Do you even believe in it? In a young girl's heart?" Meta-Ridley asked. "Of music and freedo-"

He found himself interrupted when Fofo slashed the dragon's eye again out of annoyance. Cerberus just snorted at the floor as he raised his heat whips again.

"Now, why didn't we think of that before?" Gwonam said as he watched the whips rise.

The beast fired a barrage of icicles at the group, but a wall of water blocked them. Squidward had done it.

"I...guess it's just reflex." He said, confused at the spontaneous spell-movement he just did.

"Like I said. Comes naturally." Gwonam smiled.

"Can we get this over with now?" Starsceam said dismissively.

The Ice-Bear roared and, suddenly, a wall of Ice-spikes appeared in front of it. Many more copies rose to make a circle around the group.

"Okay...puppy! DO SOMETHING!" Meta-Ridley roared at Cerberus. The whips went out and attacked the walls, but the whips froze on contact, causing the pug to reel in pain. Fofo hopped over to the dog, investigating the pain.

"That sure went south." Squidward said.

"Why not the simple solution?" Starscream said as he prepared to fire his missiles.

"What he said." Meta-Ridley giggled as he prepared his own.

However, with blazing speed, the walls closed in on them. They were so shocked that, in a milosecond, the walls were right at their noses.

BZIT! CRAAASH!

The incoming spiked-iced walls shattered when a streak of circular lightning hit them. Something else had come to their aid.

"...Are we cursed with good luck this mission?" Gwonam wondered.

"Remember what we just went through. THEN, try and say that with a straight face." Squidward said.

"Point made." The wizard sighed.

The Ice-Bear turned to who or whatever did that. It was another pet, but this one was almost as big as the construct (as in, well, a bear). It let out a loud bark before it stepped out of the icy mist made from the destruction of the walls.

It was a male Great Pyrenees. Nothing too remarkable. However, he had a sort of pathetic look on his face. It wasn't as tired-looking as Cerberus's face was, but it was still a bit depressing. Nevertheless, lightning radiated off the beast.

"Oh, c'mon! I was vouching for a hamster!" Meta-Ridley shouted.

"Let's see how this turns out. Most likely in our favor." Starscream rolled his optics.

"How is that a bad thing exactly?" Squidward inquired.

Before they could talk any further, the dog began to run at the construct. Said construct fired a volley of icicles at the Pyrenees, but he just fired more circular volts of lightning from his tail. They decimated the icicles and hit the creature's arms, destroying them.

The beast reared back a bit before it was tackled by the pet. The Great Pyrenees began to radiate with volts, causing the monster to melt quickly. All that was left after a few moments was the floating orb, which tried to get away.

"Go straight to the pit, why don't you?" Starscream said as he shot the orb with both his missiles. Meta-Ridley even chimed in with a heat-laser attack.

With that, the orb was destroyed. Go fig.

"Well done! The final part awaits us!" Gwonam exclaimed.

"Just let me call Sir. This trip has started to wear thin on my motherboard." Starscream sighed. "The admiration is still well-received, though."

Meta-Ridley just hopped into the cocaine part of the snow pile. He seemed to be enjoying the feeling. The big dog just walked over to the other pets. Cerberus responded by licking the Great Pyrenees's jowls while the large dog nuzzled Fofo's beak.

"I see you have destroyed the final orb." Sir said over the radio. "Congratulations. Now, I will teleport you near New York. You're final challenge awaits. Oh, and I guess Aslan joined your group as well."

"Your brother wasn't exactly adept at giving names, was he?" Starscream snarked. "I could come up with better ones! Like...Doomfanger!" He pointed at Cerberus. "The beast with a deadly smell."

"How flattering." Gwonam rolled his eyes.

"I guess all we have to do is give that team in New York a 'hi' and then we can just leave." Squidward smiled at the prospect at going home.

The wizard got up to him. "Please. When you go back to Bikini Bottom, use the magic you are learning as of late for good."

"I'd like to stay on the side of the law, so you've got no problem." Squidward said. "By the way, how did you like my music back at the desert?"

"Very unique. I've never heard a sound like it before." Gwonam commented.

"I'll tell you what it is, buddy." Squidward put a tentacle over the man's shoulder. "Culture."

"Now, don't you two make the most adorable pair?" Starscream snarked. "Now, let us be off. I hope for a real challenge, this time."

"Wh-WAIT!" Meta-Ridley screamed as they were being teleported back to the Headquarters. "There's so much coke! I don't wanna leave it! I DON'T WANNA!"

Too late. They had to gear up for the final battle...right after they dragged his tail to the destination...

To be concluded...

Author's Note

Notable Music:

The Himalayas-Ice Cavern from Ocarina of Time
Rolling down the Hill-Humiliskate from Crash Twinsanity
Poor Golus-The Farthest Land from Shadow of the Colossus
Aslan the Great Pyrenees-N'Doul's Theme from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven
Credits-Night Falls from Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Btw, for your viewing pleasure here are the Constructs and the Pets:

See you soon!