The Warlock

Funny things that one would not expect to happen, tend to make my life just a bit more interesting. Finding out that my ex’s father was an ex-marine when he found us together. The all of the times that my old high school buddies would mess up when I was shooting a video with them, and it became the seventh first aid video involving one of them. That one time I was filming a video and was transported to magical pony land, and was now at the magical pegacorn princess’s castle.

But I digress.

What I am trying to say is, that my life gets pretty interesting at times. So when I go to find the princess after reading the entire day away, only to run into a group of solar guard ponies creeping around, acting suspicions. Hearing the library door shut, they turned as one to look at me.

“Um... Hi?” I nervously greeted them.

Because I had just left the library, I only had the plasma rifle out. The 1911 was in a tactical holster strapped to my left thigh, and the Obrez was strapped to the outside of my rucksack. However the rifle was enough for the ponies.

From what I have seen, when a pony gets scared, they do one of a few things. From the ponies in the great hall, they would huddle together and push the strongest or largest to the outside, while the weaker ones were in the middle. The guards tended to get aggressive and go on the defensive, while some held you at sword point. One could even get suplexed (my nose still hurt, even with magical healing).

I didn’t expect them to hiss.

There are a few different types of hiss that I was familiar with at the time. I was familiar with a rattlesnake’s hiss, which depending on how hungry I was, either meant to back up carefully, or it was dinner time. A cicada’s hiss was annoying, much like a steam hiss. A cat would hiss at me, but only because the damn things all hated me. And gators meant that I would have steaks and jerky for months.

These ponies hiss was unlike anything I had ever heard before, outside a horror movie. Spittle dripped from their lips, which were pealed back to reveal a mouth full of fangs. They encircled me much in the way tigers do to wounded prey on the discovery channel.

“Human...” One snarled. Shit. This was not good.

I shifted my grip on the rifle. I knew that Celestia would come unglued if I hurt one of her guards permanently, and even if I only knocked them out, she would still be mad. Deciding to take the lesser of two evils, I flipped the sturdy rifle so the barrel was resting in my right hand, and the butt in my left. I could not shoot then, but damn it I will club my way out of this.

Seeing my change of grip, the lead pony charged me. The whole time, he did not even attempt to draw his sword, and went straight for goring me with his horn. At this point, a large number of them were frothing at the mouth with what I could only guess was anticipation.

Right as he was about to reach me, I side stepped to the right, and slammed the rifle’s butt onto the ponies jaw at the same time. This knocked the pony to his side, but was up much faster than I had thought anything would be after having a rifle slammed into their jaw. His jaw was clearly dislocated and broken, and was hanging open, revealing the multitude of now missing teeth. With a sickening crunch, the jaw reassembled itself, and popped back into place. With a hack, he spit a glob of yellowish slime right at my chest.

Without a second thought, I flipped the rifle back to it’s correct orientation, aimed and fired. The bolt impacted just a few inches away from the pony (though at this point, I was certain that this was no pony), causing it to jump back. It was at this point that I heard it. It was another hiss, but I was much more familiar with this kind.

Whatever the thing spit at me had eaten away the front part of my load bearing vest, and was about half way through my armor plate. I was also starting to feel the intense heat from the rubber coated steel plate, and scrambled to pull the thing off. It was off in seconds, but it was just enough time for the things to jump me.

As the vests were pulled off, the other things had started to move in. They had just cleared my head when I felt a couple hundred pounds of acid-spitting-pony-thing slam into me.

I had never had a blanket party thrown for me, but I imagine that it would feel something like this. I now knew that when hit with them, hooves hurt like a son of a bitch. They seemed to like hitting the ribs more than anything. I felt a number of them crack, and at least two of them break. I have had broken ribs before, but having a four tiny horses beating on them with their hooves was new. What was more important was the one I had hit was looming over me, and some of his spit had landed on my cheek. It felt a bit like having a hot piece of metal being shoved into my face, and having boiling honey drip down onto me at the same time. I am not ashamed to say I screamed my lungs out. It really fucking hurt. The ribs were barley noticeable compared to my face.

It was the screaming that saved me. It had attracted the attention of a nearby pony. I could not see very much, what with acid thing looming over me, but the beating on my ribs quickly ended with much crunching and screaming. The one on top of me barley had time to react when a black blur tackled it. Looking over, I caught a glimpse of the things being pined to the ground, with it’s head in a pegasi’s wings, and being swiftly and viciously twisted. As the life left his eyes, he was consumed in green fire, leaving behind a thing of nightmares.

It was vaguely equine, but that was where the similarities ended. The body was a glossy black chitin, and was covered in pits and holes along it’s body. It’s legs resembled cartoon Swiss cheese with the number of holes in it. It had no tail, and instead of a mane like the other ponies had, there was only a chitinous ridge, like a dinosaurs. The head had the same general shape of a ponies, but the mouth was all wrong. The jaw was set much too far back into the head, ending right where the ears would have been. The jaw lolled open to reveal a mouth with way too many teeth. Inside were three rows of shark like teeth, all coated in the same yellow slime it had spit at me. The eyes were what freaked me out the most though. A normal pony had eyes that were large, impossibly so. But this thing had eyes that were somehow even larger. Taking up most of the things head were a set of two massive, blue, compound eyes. Thousands of hexagons stared lifelessly back at me. There was a horn, but it was slightly curved, and looked to be made of the same chitinous material. The whole thing was larger at least half again as large as a pony, and looked to be pure muscle.

The pony who had killed the creature was just as strange. For one, the only things I could tell about her was that she was female, and a pegasus. The rest of her was covered in a form fitting black suit. Even her face was covered. The wings were exposed, but were either naturally black, or were painted that way.

I could not sit up. My ribs were too badly abused, and my right leg and right side were covered in acid splatter. My face was in agony, but nowhere near the levels that it was before. I was incapable of doing anything to defend myself.

I didn’t know whether to be grateful or terrified when my vision started to go dark around the edges. The last thing I saw before the darkness claimed me was the mare pressing her wing against a wall, and a shrill grinding noise filled the air.

When I came to, the world had gone from the comforting darkness of slumber, to the oppressive white of a hospital. I was laying on a soft mattress (this was one of the few times I was okay with a bed instead of a hammock), and was draped in a thick, vomit green blanket. There was a faint beeping noise that I recognized as a heart monitor. And more than anything, I was in a ton of pain.

There was a knock on the door. “Mr. Campbell? The monitor shows that you are awake. Can I come in to give you your potions?” A soft voice called from behind the door.

“Come in...” I wheezed. Even simple things like talking were almost impossible with busted ribs.

She had heard me however, and trotted into the room with a small trey in her teeth. She was a snow white unicorn mare with light blue hair, and had a stethoscope mark on her flank. Resting upon the trey were three tiny vials, none holding more than a teaspoon of liquid.

“How are you feeling Mr. Campbell?” She asked me cheerfully.

I leveled a flat gaze on her and replied, “I feel like I was nearly beaten to death by acid spitting bugs.”

Her smile faltered a moment. “Right... Anyway, we have some potions for your ribs. We need to ask you what type you want, as they have multiple different effects.” She held up the first vial. It was filled with a thin, clear liquid. “This one will dull the pain completely, but they will heal at your natural healing rate.” She moved on to a vivid green one. “This one will dull a bit of the pain, but the ribs will heal a bit faster.” She held up the final vial, filled with a viscous blue slime. “This one will not block any pain from your ribs, but they will be healed within a few hours.” She looked at the vial with mild disdain.

Without thinking, I reached out and snagged the blue one from her magical grasp, and put it to my lips. Immediately, the pain in my ribs intensified, and I could barley breath.

Seeing my panicked face, the mare was at my side. “Did it just get worse?”

I nodded.

She relaxed a bit. “Oh good. You are not having an allergic reaction to the potion. It is mending your bones faster, at the expense of more pain. I haven’t seen very many take that one.”

Great. I let my head flop down onto the fluffy pillow they had provided me with.

“Okay, I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, you will be out of here before tonight. Bad news is, you got burned pretty bad. Changeling blood is highly acidic.” Changelings. So that was what they were. I can see why they are so hated. “Unfortunately, due to the nature of Changeling blood, the scaring will be permanent. We don’t have any potions that work on acid burns. I’m sorry.”

I had scars even before coming here. Some of them I was proud of, like the knife wounds I had gotten in my “Action Packed Trip to Detroit” video. Or the snake bite on my left leg. There were also ones that I was not so proud of. Like the time I tried reenacting S.T.A.L.K.E.R. In northern Arizona, and got shot in the leg from scaring a guy hunting. Or the time my grandmother’s cat scratched me, and kept opening up. This was one I was not proud of. I was held down and burned with acid, and I didn’t even fight back! I was scared that Celestia would kick my ass, and let them get close.

“How bad?” I croaked.

She levitated the chart at the end of the bed to her. “You have scaring all along the upper right leg, some on your right side, and along the top of your right arm. There is also a fair amount of scaring on your left cheek.” She reported grimly.

I sighed. Scaring on my face was not something I was looking forward to, but I could live with it. I steeled my resolve. “Show me.”

“Your face still has bandages on them, do you really want us to take them off?”

“Please. Show me.” I gasped out. “I need to see.”

She looked uncomfortable, but complied none the less. Grasping the edge of the gauze with her magic, she pulled it off. I could feel the flesh sticking to the sterile fabric, but it did not hurt that much. She levitated a small mirror to me. Grabbing it, I looked the scarring over.

It was an angry red. And while it was no longer a bleeding wound, It was still open, and uncomfortably warm. There were four long troughs gouged into my flesh where the acid had flowed, one of which ran from my nose to my earlobe, leaving it partially melted. Surrounding the troughs were a smattering of small speckles of exposed flesh. Most were contained on my left cheek, but some were on my nose, and one was resting on the edge of my left temple. The potion was clearly working, now that I could see it. The angry red in the speckles were slowly disappearing, and were being replaced with ugly white scar tissue, though they did not get any better than that. The troughs were also loosing their redness, but at a slower rate.

There was another knock at the door, but I was too preoccupied with the mirror to answer. The nurse opened the door. I heard a “Ma’am” from her, but paid no attention. I stared for a bit longer before I acknowledged the presence next to me. I looked to my right, and was greeted with a familiar sight.

“How are you feeling?” Lieutenant Gust asked me, looking genuinely concerned. “I heard what happened from Bolverk, and came as soon as I could.”

“I’m fine. Just a bit of scarring.” I rasped. My ribs were still on fire.

She looked at my cheek. “Mender?”

I gave her a blank stare.

“Mender, you know, the blue potion? Not many take that one, it amplifies the pain one goes through by ten. Even the emotional pain,” She turned and smiled at me. “Trust me. I know.”

We sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying each others presence. It was almost an hour before I broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Gust. I messed up yesterday.” Enough time had passed that I no longer had to pause between every other word for air.

Now frowning slightly, she tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“I accidentally caused you and your friends to go ape because I played with ancient technology.”

She looked surprised for a second, then laughed. “Relax dude, it just surprised us is all. You couldn’t have known that it would do that to us. If it makes you feel any better, we all felt bad after pulling swords on you. Apology accepted, from all of us.”

I sagged into the bed with relief. As much of a badass as I tried to portray myself as, I was still a softie around women. Even pony women.

We continued to sit in silence for a while. It was long enough that the pain in my sides was starting to subside. Before long, I broke the silence again.

“You mentioned someone earlier. The pony who saved me. Bullhead of something.”

She sat back with a smile. “Bolverk. That’s who saved you.”

“Who is she?”

Gust’s eyes glazed over for a moment, deep in memory. “She is the best. She is Equestia’s first line of defense. Bolverk is one of the few who survived Garg’s landing, though thrived might have been a better term for it. She was the one who got the dirty work done. Did the nasty stuff that nopony wanted to do. You need a Changeling patrol taken down? Call Bolverk. Need food? Bolverk would hunt down a Changeling or two for us. Find the rare prisoner camp? She would take all the guards out without alerting anyone. She did the most Changeling killing of any of us, and is still killing them to this day. Over eleven thousand confirmed kills. Bolverk is a legend with the guard, and a campfire horror to everypony else.” She shuddered. “Especially the Griffon Imperium.”

“Griffon Imperium?”

She look surprised for a moment, but shrugged it off. “Right, you aren’t from around here. This is fairly common knowledge, most learn it in history class at school.” Clearing her throat, she began explaining. “Before I continue on, I need to explain a bit about griffons in general. You see, the griffons are fully capable of magic. They use their eyes as foci, making it seem like they could move things with their mind. Because of this, they do not refer to it as magic. Instead, it is referred to as “psychic energy” by the griffons. Long ago, using magic of any form, even the “psychic energy”, was seen as “unnatural”, and they used to go out of their way to kill anything that used magic. This changed nearly fifty thousand years ago. Back then, the ponies were still roaming tribes, and the changelings had not even emerged yet. But the griffons were different. They were always more socially advanced than us. They had formed villages and governments long before we even discovered fire. Part of the social structure were the outcast “Psykers”. They were the ones who actively practiced magic, and were too powerful to be taken down by the griffon armies. They were instead cast out, and a few of them survived long enough to form their own village. The village was prosperous for almost two thousand years. One day, the village elders had a vision. That there would be a great war that needed a hero. The elders summoned the whole village to the town square, and explained the vision. They debated for days on what to do. Before long, they came to an agreement. They sacrificed themselves and their souls. It was a year later that a griffon was born, a griffon with a thousand souls. He would not know it, but he would be the most important griffon in history.

“It was not long before he realized that he would not age past his late teenage years. Most griffons then lived to sixty, and he was double that when he learned of his power. Within a century, the newly dubbed Emperor united the griffon tribes and villages into one empire, or in Griffic, an Imperium. His powers only grew as he continued expanding the Imperium, including a few human cities before the fall of man. Near his ten thousandth birthday, he created his twenty sons. Using human technology, he created twenty sons to embody certain aspects.

“His sons, or the “Primarchs”, formed and headed the original twenty legions of the griffon military. They would go on to conquer most of the known world, and even to this day, they still hold sway over half of the planet. The only reason they stay away from Equestria is because The Princess and The Chief nearly destroyed the entire Imperium eight hundred years ago.

“When the changelings first appeared, the griffons allied with us for the first time in history, and were always the first into combat. The solders almost always stood double our height unarmored, and in their armor they are nearly unstoppable. They are practically immortal due to augmentations to their bodies. We won almost every battle against the changelings with the Imperium as allies.

“Unfortunately, around ten thousand years ago, one of the Chaos gods tricked one of the Emperor’s sons, Magnus, into unknowingly betraying him. Another of his sons, Horus,  took this knowledge and knowingly betrayed his father and convinced ten of his other brothers to lead massive armies to the city of Terra in order to kill the Emperor. In the end, only two of his nine loyal sons are known to still be alive, Leman Russ is hunting demons and his traitor brothers in Tatarus, and Roboute Guiliman who is in suspended animation from when his brother tried to kill him. Four of the traitor sons are known to still be alive, and each one is serving one of the gods of chaos.

“The Emperor was nearly killed, and was put on a form of life support devised by his human allies. He has been enturned on this life support “throne” for ten thousand years. He has become a figure head, and cannot actually lead his Imperium. His life story has now become the state religion for the Imperium, and it is from their holy book that we get most of this information.

“There have been rumors that he is starting to lead his people from the background, using his personal assistant as a proxy.”

Gust ended her story with a small frown. I was amazed at the griffon’s history. I could easily see someone back home making so much money off of something like that.

Gust reached into her armor and withdrew a small silver flask. She uncapped it and took a swig. She offered me the flask. “Want some? It doesn’t mess with Mender.”

Shrugging to the best of my ability, I grabbed the flask and took a sip. The liquor tasted like the stuff you would pull from a lawn mower that had not been emptied in a week. And while the burn was there, it was much weaker than whiskey back home. I only took a small sip of the pseudo whiskey. “Thanks.” I rasped, handing her the flask.

There was a soft whistling from her breast plate. She returned the flask to it’s place, and punched a raised portion of her armor, which stopped the whistling with a mechanical sounding clunk. Standing up, she looked to me. “Sorry, Gareth. I’ve got one last shift before I call it a day. I’ll try and visit you when I’m done. Until then, try to get some sleep.”

I waved to her as she left. Exhaustion quickly claimed me, and I was dancing with Morpheus once again.