The Warlock

I came to a few hours later. Gust never did come and visit me. I assumed that she just had some guard stuff to do. The pain in my ribs had mostly subsided by this point, though my burns were still giving me issues. Propping myself up on my left elbow, I took my first deep breath of air in almost a day. Swinging my legs off the edge of the bed, I decided to wait for the nurse to clear me any further.

I didn’t have to wait long as a few moments later the nurse trotted in. In her magic was another tray, this one had a few dozen vials, and a jar of... Something.

“Alright, Mr. Campbell. You are all clear. Take one of these potions with breakfast every day for the next month, and put this salve on your burns after showers and before bed.” She moved the vials and jar into a small paper bag and levitated them to me. “Don’t worry about the bill. The Princess is handling it.”

I set the bag next to me on the bed. “Thanks. Do you know where my clothes went?”

The mare’s face fell. “The clothing you were wearing was ruined when B-Bolverk rammed one of the changelings into another one’s horn, the splash was what ruined your clothes.” Gust was right, the common pony was terrified by Bolverk. “The changeling then landed and died on top of your bag.”

“Did anything survive?” I asked mildly panicked.

The mare smiled this time. That was a good sign. “Yes, in fact we were able to save a few things.” She leaned out and rattled off something in German to someone further back in the hall.

Another pony trotted in. This time it was an earth pony mare with a yellow coat and neon blue hair. I did not have a chance to see what her mark was, she was only half in the room.

She was carrying a small bag with the plasma rifle strapped to the outside. At least I was not unarmed. The nurse took it and levitated it onto the bed, being careful not to crush the potions and salve. The new pony had left at this point.

She smiled at me as I opened the bag. It was mostly clothing, though I had never seen it before. I turned to look at the nurse in confusion.

Sensing my question before I asked, the nurse answered. “None of your clothing survived the acid, so Princess Celestia commissioned these from a small town seamstress. Rather famous one at that. She did it completely free of cost after hearing why you needed them.”

That was very generous of her. When I got out, I needed to send her a thank you card or something. Inside the bag were three sets of clothing. The first looked almost like a robe, only with pants. It consisted of multiple layers. There was an under suit, which was just a brown long sleeve shirt and brown pants. There was the outer robe. That was a single piece of red fabric that I would just wrap around myself and fasten with a large belt. Along with this was a pair of pants, and a long sleeved shirt made out of some kind of stretchy material. The belt was made with some kind of fake leather, and had pouches hanging off the sides. The robe had two slits running up the front and the back of where my legs were, possibly to allow me to move more freely. The others were much the same, though this time they were dark blue and black. All of them had three small blue diamonds stitched into the collar.

Setting the very well made clothing aside, I inspected the rest of the bag. Inside was my tactical holster with the 1911 still inside. I pulled that out and inspected it. There was a single small acid splatter on the left grip, but that was it. I sighed in relief that the pistol was mostly unharmed. There was one full magazine in the gun and one in the chamber. In pouches built into the holster were two more full magazines. I was not unarmed, but I had to watch my ammo like a hawk, as I only had 22 .45 bullets left. The plasma rifle was scuffed, but unharmed. There were 24 of the lower power rounds in the magazine, and I don’t think there are many ancient human plasma rounds just laying around. Both of my knives were alright, as was the multitool and the small case I had found laying next to it. Opening the case, I was greeted with five rows of twenty disks. Attached to the lid were instructions on how to replace the batteries in the multitool. So that’s what they were! Nodding happily, I tucked them away. My tinted goggles and sunglasses were undamaged. I had the small first aid kit I kept in my cargo pocket. Oddly enough, the human tablet I got in Mzark was still intact. Checking to see if it was still working, I pressed the center of the tablet. It lit up just fine, though there was a button I had not seen before on the edge of it. Pressing it, I was mildly supprised to feel the solid plastic turn semi-maliable, and for it to retract into the metal strips on the top and bottom of the thing. Holding the now two inch by five inch strip of metal. Pushing the button again extended the tablet back out to its previous size. Retracting it again, I set it aside. The last thing in the bag was the small case of silver bars.

I sighed. I had almost nothing left. It was earily similar to the situation I was in after High school. Shaking my head to clear the bad memories, I slowly stood up and started to get dressed. The nurse had left a while ago when I started going through my things. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to put the robes on, but I managed. The robes were comfortable and seamed to fit perfectly (though I think it was the stretchy material the whole thing was made of). I replaced the other sets of robes into the bag along with the guns, ammo, and my kukri. The multitool was placed in one of the pouches on my left hip along with it’s batteries, and the first aid and silver went into another.

Walking hurt. The acid burns were still healing, and some were still covered in bandages. I gingerly opened the door and walked out. There was a pronounced limp in my gait, but I didn’t let it slow me down. The nurse was next to me going down the hall, making sure I did not fall over.

It took a while, but I made it out of the hospital. Getting directions from the nearest guard, I limped over to the throne room.

The walk to the throne room took a lot longer than the last time. There were more ponies around, and a large number stopped me to ask what happened to me, or thank me for stopping the changelings (I did not feel like correcting them on that), or asking where I got my clothing. It was all a big hassle for me, but I did eventfully make it to the throne room.

It was about dinner time, and there was nobody in the throne room, save for Celestia.

Noticing me enter, she called me over.

“Gareth! Come, I need to talk to you.”

I walked over to her and set my bag next to me. Celestia levitated a smaller chair over for me to sit on.

She looked grim, but not angry. “Guards, leave us.” She called out.

“But.. Princess.” Armor asked from her left.

“Now.” She commanded.

The guards saluted and shuffled off. The moment the door shut after the last one left, Celestia sagged in relief.

“Despite what the papers will say, we are not winning the war against the Changelings, we are loosing ground every day. It seams that they have finally breached the capital. I don’t know who is safe to talk to or not. Finding a safe space to talk is a nightmare. Canterlot is no longer safe.” There was a tone of resignation in her voice, like she had known this, but refused to acknowledge it.

“So what do we do?”

Celestia sat up, mildly shocked. “What do you mean ‘we’?”

I smiled reassuringly at her. I knew just how fucked the situation was. The enemies were practically knocking at the gates, and there was almost nothing that could be done. I knew that she was just as, if not more aware of how bad it had gotten, but she needed to be reassured that there was hope. Even by a random guy like me, any little bit can help. “Luna made me a citizen, remember? I will do anything I can to help you, even if it isn’t much. Regardless of how I came to Equestria, I am still one of her citizens, and I have a duty to protect her. Like it or not, Equestria is my home, and I will be damned if anything or anyone tries to mess with my home.” I may have been hamming it up, but the message was clear.

While in the hospital, I had come to the realization that I was not going home any time soon. If two beings with goddess level power and status could not find a way to send me home in a week, then I was well and truly fucked. It was entirely likely that I would never see anybody from home again. And to my mild displeasure, I was alright with this. The ponies had treated me with more kindness than any other human would have (well, after Luna told them that I was an Elf, but I digress) or ever had. Nobody seemed to mind the dirty bald ape with a hundred pounds of junk on his back wandering the halls, other than the occasional jerk. I decided to take the advice of my survival mentor, Boris, “Stop whining and suck it up, cyka blyat! Life sucks, but you have to make the best of it, no matter what! Look at me! I have nothing, but do you see me complaining? Learn to make life worth living, and learn to relax a bit.”

Her face went blank for a moment, before her horn lit up and engulfed me in orange light. I only recently found out that magic does not feel good. It was not that it hurt or anything like that, it just felt uncomfortable. Thankfully, it only lasted a second, but it was enough for me to jump out of my seat. With the magic gone, she relaxed a bit more. “Sorry about that. I had to check and see if you are actually you.” She stood and trotted over to the far wall. “Come with me.”

Following her, I watched as she fired off a spell that impacted the wall. Almost instantly, a small section of the wall shimmered and rippled like water. Celestia walked through the wall and beckoned me to follow.

Walking through the door/wall was one of the weirdest sensations I have ever experienced in my life. I could still feel the stones they were made of, but they were somehow still solid. Even though I could tell they were still solid, the stones flowed through me. I could feel the wall pass me through on the inside, in every cell. They still held the same temperature from when they were still solid. So I felt at least three feet of frigid stone pass through every part of my body.

Stepping out on the other side, I felt Celestia grab my arm with her wing, and was greeted with something I had not seen in the castle before. Darkness.

Every other part of the castle I had been in before was brightly lit. Even the air vents for some reason. So why was it that this portion of the castle was pitch black?

I couldn’t see an inch in front of me. If not for Celestia’s wing around me, I would have been stranded. She began to gently lead me somewhere. To my displeasure, the only thing I could do is feel. There was no light, no sound, I could not even smell or taste! We walked for what felt like hours, but we eventually reached... Somewhere. It was lit, and when we crossed the threshold, the rest of my deprived senses rushed back all at once.

The room was a stark opposite to whatever the last area was. It was as if the entire room was made out of nothing but pure light. Even with the sunglasses on, the light was still blinding.

There was the soft hiss of pressurized air, and the doorway to the black was sealed with more light. The room was small, just long enough to accommodate for Celestia, and only just wide enough for the both of us standing next to each other. The whole room gave a mighty lurch, and began moving.

“Ok, what is this place, Celestia?”

She turned and gave me a grim look, “This is The Vault. A pocket dimension Luna and I created to house some of the most dangerous items and creatures in the world. The area we just passed is where we keep all of the creatures, and this box wards them off.” She touched her hoof to the side of the wall. With a small click, a panel flipped open, which she began to read. “We still have a while to go before we reach The Relic Vault.” With a nudge, the panel retracted back into it’s place in the wall.

“I’m sorry, Celestia. This is just going too fast for me. Can you explain it to me like you would to a moron?” Honestly, the idea of pocket dimensions weirded me out more than magical talking ponies, or the idea that all humans are evil, except for me. There was just something inherently wrong with keeping an armory, a zoo, and a treasure vault inside of a castle wall.

I still wanted one though.

With a sigh, she launched into the lesson. “This is a pocket dimension, a bubble in the fabric of the universe, condensed down to a near infinitely small real time space. These bubbles, because they are not technicly part of the natural order, do not need to follow the laws of physics, or even the most basic of logical design. There are only two known ways of creating a pocket dimension, either by forcing massive amounts of magic into the universal fabric, or having a gravity well so massive, that not even light can escape from. The gravity wells from natural pocket dimensions are powerful enough to rip entire stars apart.” Okay, so I won’t be getting my own pocket dimension any time soon.

“Where we just passed is known as The Creature Vault. Other than that thin strip of artificial gravity and floor we passed, there is no gravity or flat surfaces anywhere other than The Relic Vault. There are thousands of daemons and monstrosities floating in the void endlessly. This box is made of magical light, which repels the daemons, and blinds the other creatures in the void. The only things we might have to deal with are the God of Chaos’s four errant children, but I don’t think they are awake this time of the milenia.

“The second half of The Vault is The Relic Vault. It is where items of extreme value, or items that pose a danger to the entire world are stored. Over the last millenia, I have come across some relics in my travels that were more valuable than the entire income of Equestria, if not outright priceless. Luna has claimed enough dangerous spoils of war, that hers takes up most of the space in the vault.

“The reason we are here is so we can move the items from The Relic Vault. Any pony or magical creature with sufficient magical power is capable of opening the gateway to The Vault. Pocket dimensions are nearly impossible to ward off entry, so all defenses must be made from the inside. I fear that a powerful changeling, or even their queen, will find where it is, and then it is just a matter of finding out where the light box is. The only real security measure we have on the outside is secrecy. There are three living creatures that know about the pocket dimensions existence. Luna, you, and myself.”

“So why trust me with this information? You barley know me.” Celestia was worried about the Changelings getting into The Vault, And here she was, giving out arguably the most important secret of her kingdom to a total stranger. I don’t understand her motives or reasons even on good days, but this just seamed stupid.

“There are three parts to this. One; the Changelings cannot take a human form. Changelings are primarily carnivorous in nature, but are known to feed off of the magical energy and emotions of others. In order to change to another creature, they need to have fed on both the magical signature to take the form, and the emotions, so they can emulate how they act. Because you have no magical signature, that characteristic glow around the focus, they cannot even take the form of your or any other human. Two; Changelings have an almost compulsive hatred for all humans. We have no idea why this is, but they will never bother to interrogation you,” That was pretty good for me. No integration or torture, sweet! “Only go in for the kill.” Fuck. “And three; by entering the gate, there was a magical compulsion placed on both of us. While it is on us, neither of us can speak of this place. It was something that Luna came up with to stop drunken babbling after a successful battle. Along with that, before entering The Relic Vault, both you and I will be swearing a magical oath to never reveal the location, contents, or the method of entry to The Vault. It is the requirement to open the actual vault door, there is not even a key, just the oath.

“In conclusion, you are the only one, other than my sister, that I can trust with this information.”

I was stunned. She had this much faith in me, even though the first three days here, she hated me. I had no idea just what I had done to earn that level of trust from her, but I was determined to do her proud.

“Also, you have fingers. There are some things in there that are magically resistant, and I can’t pick up.” And the truth is revealed.

We only had to wait a few minutes more before the box lurched to a stop. The pneumatic hiss returned and the door opened.

We were standing on top of a giant metal platform, floating in the nothingness. I could barley see it, but off in the distance, there was a single pedestal in the center of the metal slab. The only sound that was heard was the soft taping of my boots against metal, and the sharp clang of Celestia’s hooves.

The pedestal was about a quarter mile away from where the box dropped us. While walking, Celestia reminded me of the oath. “Remember, Gareth. The oath has three parts to it. To never tell of the location, method of entry, or contents of The Vault. To violate this oath is to forfeit your life. And remember, this oath is not the word of the law, it is the sprint of the law. If you write it down, it will still break the oath.” So don’t ever talk about The Vault, ever. Don’t even think about it.

“So why can you tell me about The Vault in the first place?”

She smirked. “Someone has to be able to. Luna and I created this pocket dimension. If we so chose, either of us could wipe it from existence with a thought. We are keyed directly into The Relic Vault because we are the creators of this world.”

The pedestal was about three feet tall, and about three inches around. The top ended with a glowing red crystal ball. Inscribed into the ball were the words “I swear on pain of death to never reveal, never tell, and never lead to The Vault.” It must be the oath.

Celestia gestured with her wing to the ball. Figuring that I was supposed to put my hand on it, I did just that and spoke the oath in English.

There was a flash of light, and a light pain in one of my knuckles. Looking to my hand, there was now a near invisible mark on the base knuckle of my right index finger. Looking close, I now had a tiny sun and moon yin yang thingy on my hand that took up the space of a small pill.

“Now place the mark on the ground. That will gain you entry.” Celestia explained.

Crouching down and pressing the mark to the cold metal, I was disappointed when nothing happened for a moment. Then with a great rush of steam, the floor around the pedestal lowered into The Relic Vault.

The lift just kept on going. We had been on it for an hour, and it just kept on going. The ceiling would seal up like liquid metal flowing into place as we went, so nothing could follow us in, I assumed. The room was large enough to have plenty of air for one pony princess and a displaced human. The lift would lower us for a total of an hour and a half before stopping. Like the lift in Mzark, the door to the actual vault was an iris. The difference was the size of the shutters. Each one was ten feet thick! I could only guess that the door was opened with magic, because they snapped open, instead of slowly grinding open.

Behind the door was a small hallway. With two doors on either side, and one at the end.

Each one was embossed with a different plaque. The closest on the right had a book, the far right had a skull, the center had a coin, the far left had three question marks, and the closest on the left had a pair of smoking eyes.

Celestia lead me to the center door first. “This room houses all of the valuable and priceless artifacts from around Equestria and out territories.” The room was loaded with vases, gems, coins, tapestries, and various loot. Most of which flew into one of the many small saddle bags (each one had two pouches connected with a strip of fabric) hanging on the far wall, which could somehow fit in one of the pouches. The exceptions being one of the saddle bags and a case hanging on the wall containing two diamond shaped coins. Looking to Celestia for answers, she replied, “Mine and my sister’s ‘Two Sisters Bits’. Those two coins are each worth one and a half billion bits.” Whistling, I pulled the case off the wall and handed it over to her. She handed me the other saddle bag and told me to wait for her.

She walked into the room with a skull. There was a great racket. She emerged from the room ten minutes later, both saddle bags full to bursting, and one of the other bags hanging around her neck.

“Alright, It’s okay for you to enter now. I have removed all of the magical amulets and cursed weapons. I just need you to grab a few things. Just set them in the middle of the room.”

The inside of the room was smaller than I had expected. Instead of the sprawling expanse that I had come to expect from the Equestrian and Human architecture styles I had seen so far, the room was only the size of a normal two car garage. Lining the walls were weapon racks. Next to each one was a small indent in the wall, roughly the size of a hoof. In the center of the rear wall was a one lane firing range, and there were a multitude of straw dummies in the middle of the room. Topping these racks was a label, some had numbers next to them, though most were devoid of text. I had Celestia translate what the ones with labels meant.

I walked up to the first one, which had been identified as “Griffon”. Resting on the rack was two of the biggest handguns I had ever seen. They were two feet long, had a front loading magazine, and were covered in skulls. The only distinguishing features on either was that the main body of one was cobalt, and the other was orange. The grips looked like they were designed by a human with a terminal case of sausage fingers. Below them was one of the saddle-bags-of-holding. Inside, I was astounded to see that the bullets for the thing had filled the entire bag. Pulling the orange one off the wall, I was surprised by it’s weight. It was at least fifty pounds. I set it down and grabbed the cobalt one. As I did so, the label went dark. The text had simply disappeared.

I looked to Celestia with hopeful eyes. Celestia’s eyes rolled. “No. They will rip your arm off. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.” There was no joking in her tone, so I quickly set them in the center of the room.

Next was one labeled “Human”. Among the rack was a dozen multitools, and batteries for each one. Moving those to the center, I was confused as to why the text had not vanished yet. Celestia, however, solved that.

She trotted to the indent in the wall, and inserted her right hoof. With a mechanical sounding clunk, the rack began moving. The elegant pegboard was pulled back and slid to the side. Behind it was two boards. One rotated out and clicked into place where the previous one had been only a second ago.

Attached to this one was three of the plasma rifles that I had seen from before, what I could only assume at the time was the pistol version of the rifle, and a large selection of ammunition for the rifle. Pulling those off, I set them in the ever growing pile of weaponry.

The last panel only had a single weapon on the rack. It looked almost like someone had taken three quarters of a solid steel sphere, welded a handle on one of the cuts, painted a blue spot on the top, and attached a short, ported barrel to the end. When I pulled it from the rack, it emitted a rather soothing hum, and warmed slightly in my hand.

“That’s a plasma cannon. I would prefer that you don’t mess with that one.” Celestia was a bit jumpy at the image of me holding the weapon with a dangerous smile.

Sighing, I set the cannon in the pile. I never did see it or another like it again.

The next few sets of racks were pretty standard stuff. Swords, bows, crossbows, clubs, axes, shields, etcetera ad nausium. We cleared the room out pretty quickly.

Next was the room with a book. Celestia told me that the books were immune to magic, so I was a bit weary of this one from the last room, but it was not that bad.

Inside was a tiny library. More of a closet than anything. The back wall was only two feet from the door. There were only three books on the shelf.

The first was also the largest. It was roughly seven inches thick, and had a hard jet black exterior. Pulling it out, I was greeted with the smiling faces of nine skulls. In the center of the circle of skulls was a golden, two headed eagle. Finding it chained shut, I shrugged and placed it in one of the pouches in the bag.

Looking curiously to Celestia, she answered with, “That was a recent acquisition from the Griffin Imperium. Part of their surrender in their latest war with us was the submission of their original holy book. Something about worshiping the Griffin emperor. Funny enough, he is the one who gave it to me. Said religion was, and I quote, “superstitions brainwashing crap that makes you into an asshole.” Funny guy, just wish his empire could take a joke.”

The next one didn’t really count as a book, so much so as a stack of cards bound together. The card was mostly black with red pentagram surrounded by a bunch of concentric circles and runes. Turning it over, there were some symbols on the back, in what I could only guess was Japanese.

This time, she grabbed the stack from my hand with her wing, almost in a bit of a panic, and put it in her own bag. “I forgot those were in there. The Grimmories owe me a few favors. Best not to talk about them so we don’t attract their attention.” Alright, whatever.

The next one was bound in metal, and had a big red button on one side, and the words “Don’t Panic” printed in bright, glowing letters on the back. Not even bothering to ask about it, I placed it in one in her bags, We moved on.

The last room was the smoking eyes room. The place looked like a futuristic quarantine room. I was told that everything that held dark magic that could not be destroyed was stored here. Everything was sterile white, and anything not white was clear plastic like stuff. Lining the room was a series of vacuum sealed boxes, clear bulbs, and a single pillar of clear material, all of which contained something. The cases had simple things like a dagger, or a wand, or a scrap of paper. The bulbs had some kind of fluid in them, all of them made my eyes feel dirty just looking at them. I was instructed to carefully place them in the bag.

The last one took the longest. Celestia had to remove a bunch of wards and curses surrounding the pillar. Once the astounding number of spells were lifted, I could get close to the clear pillar. Inside of it was a single book. It was wrapped in black leather, the pages were edged in gold, and seemed to radiate pure evil. The book had no title.

Using my brain for the first time since entering the vault, my eyes widened in realization. I looked to Celestia with panic. “Is this...”

“Yes, Gareth. This is the Krivbeknih.”