The Warlock

I stared at Celestia in shock. The Krivbeknih, the book that turned every human on the planet into psychopathic murder machines, was not five feet from me. It was smaller than I had expected it to be, the thing could fit in the palm of my hand. And that’s saying something, I ware medium gloves. It was also much thinner as well. Only fifty or so pages from what I could guess. The most dangerous object on the planet was just sitting there.

I started backing up. “Celestia, why the fuck is that book here?! Shouldn’t it be, you know, in a volcano, or on the moon, or something?!” Just being in the room with it was making my skin feel tainted.

“Relax, Gareth. The book cannot harm you. It is encased in quartz, and magic is incapable of interacting with certain types of crystal, quartz being the most magically inert. And we have tried to destroy the book before, but it will simply float on the magma, and every time we tried to move it to the moon or the sun, it would appear back here an hour or two later, same with dropping it in the ocean.” She tried to reassure me. It did not work.

“You said that you can collapse the pocket dimension with a thought, right? Won’t that destroy the book?”

She sighed. “No, it won’t. We tried doing that before, but it would appear in the throne room a week later. Almost like it was mocking us. Believe me, if you can think of it, we have tried it. The hottest flames won’t burn it, the biggest explosion we can create didn’t even scuff the leather, it is immune to Changeling blood, enchanted daggers bounce off, and the biggest mana storm created by the Griffon Emperor did not even interact with it. Trust me, the book is indestructible.”

“Then why are we bothering to move it? If this place is so secure, why are we even moving it?”

“Because Canterlot has been compromised. The Changelings could already know about this place, and it might only be a matter of days before they breach the vault. After that, who knows how much havoc they could wreak upon the world.” She almost seemed to be reluctant on admitting it. As she was speaking to me, her magic reached out and grasped the crystal. With a look of supreme effort, Celestia managed to slowly move the crystal from it’s resting place into the last empty satchel. The fur around her forehead was slightly matted with sweat.

Celestia did have a point. If the changelings had managed to infiltrate the capital city, and were in the castle, then the vault was nowhere near as secure as it could be. The removal of the dangerous affects made sense.

We walked out of the room, Celestia looking decidedly more ragged. All we had left was the final room, with the question marks embossed on the plate.

Which was empty.

The entire room looked to be the size of a large bedroom, and was furnished with a low table and a cushion on either side. On either side of the table was an extra large marker, and a whiteboard. Celestia walked to the nearest cushion and dropped down with a sigh. The crystal must have really taken a tole on her.

“Come, sit. We have many things to discuss.” Celestia motioned to the cushion on the other side of the table.

I schluffed off the bags and moved over to the other cushion. I had learned not too long ago that the ponies did not have any sort of chairs. Their equine anatomy simply did not allow for the minor limb contortion necessary for that type of furniture. The chair was not even in the foreign nations. Griffons and minotaurs had the same type of cushion. The only real chairs I had seen since arriving in this world were in Mzark. A large amount of furniture that I was accustomed to was exclusively of human design, and therefore, completely foreign to most of the world. There were no chairs, no normal sized beds (ponies and griffons just curled up in a half length twin, and minotaurs were nomadic, and used sleeping bags), and there were far fewer sinks than I was comfortable with.

Setting aside my momentary confusion, I sat on the overstuffed blue pillow. I wound up having my crossed legs hidden underneath the table, and trying to keep my back straight.

Celestia reached over to a depressed portion of the table and pressed on it. With a click, an entire control panel swung out from the depression. She then hit something on the panel with her horn, and a small hole in the wall opened.

“Would you mind putting the bags into the hole?” She asked me.

I felt a little nervous handling the bag with an ancient and evil tome, but no ill effects came from it. Once they were in the hole, it sealed up, and Celestia nudged another button with her horn.

A wave passed over the room. It was almost palpable to me, but it seemed to hit Celestia full force.

I could feel the magic draining from my body. It left me feeling like I had run a marathon, then someone had gotten me to drink an Aunt Roberta. The swimming feeling and the exhaustion faded quickly enough. It left me feeling like something was missing, but otherwise not bad.

Celestia on the other hand was very visibly effected by the wave. Her mane and tail had gone from their normal flowing tri-chromatic rainbow, to a soft pink, and were now laying limp against her body. Her coat faded from its normal snow white color, to a very light ivory. And she seemed to slump even more if it was possible.

Sitting down again, I asked “Okay. What was that?”

“That was an anti-magic pulse. It knocks out magic for a short period of time. It is why I asked you to move the bags to the cubby, the wave would have made everything burst out and flood the room. Luna and I use this room when we need to discus matters of the highest secrecy.” Her voice was not as melodious as it had been before. It was rather mundane in comparison.

“So is that why you changed?” I was seriously impressed with the level of secrecy and paranoia that Luna and Celestia could exhibit at times.

Celestia smiled. “Yes, this is what my natural form looks like. The room negated the cosmetic magic.”

I nodded. “So what was so important that we had to come all the way down here to discus it?”

She sighed. “There are a few things, ask questions as you feel necessary.” I nodded and grabbed the marker and whiteboard to write down the questions. “There are three matters of business. First; is that my niece got engaged just over a month ago, and I am unsure of weather or not the castle will be secure enough for the wedding. I know that you do not have a job yet, and would like to hire you as a security consultant. I would not have you setting things up, instead I want you to poke holes in the plan, and find them so that we can patch them and add to the security. I will pay you by the problem you find. Is that agreeable?” I nodded again. Looks like the prepper part of my survivalist mindset would pay off.

“Second; there is an artifact that we need to get a hold of. There is good news and bad news on this. Good news is that it is in Mzark, which is near Canterlot. Bad news is that only a human can get to it. We need you to retrieve it from Mzark. A team will be assigned to you, but you will have full control of the expedition. We will also pay you for your efforts on this.”

“Okay, question time. What is it you need me to get from Mzark?” I asked.

“There was a project the humans were working on before Mzark was destroyed. It was a weapon to change the tide of the war. Only one was ever deployed in the field, but it was powerful enough to decimate an entire company of our soldiers, and released a malignant cloud of magic that created the Everfree forest. Luna traced it back to Mzark, but was unable to capture it or any information on it.”

“What I want you to do is to lead an exploration team into Mzark, and retrieve this weapon and any documents regarding it. All we need you to do is lead the team to it.”

I thought about it for a moment. “What about the other things I find?”

“What other things? I just need you to get the weapon and everything related to it.”

I smiled. “Mzark has been abandoned for what, 1000 years? Nobody will mind if a few things go missing from around the town, now will they? And if they do, who cares? They are all evil!”

Celestia sighed, looking tired. “Yes, you can keep the things you find. I will scan them for curses or any dark magic, but other than that, I only care about the weapon, it’s ammunition, and any documentation relating to it.”

I grinned. This would be so much fun. The idea of the contents of an entire city up for grabs made something inside me sing. I was already planning on how to get it all back. Celestia looked like she was waiting on a response from me.

“I’ll do it. All I need is some time to get ready.”

“Excellent! Finally; we come to this.” She reached into a compartment of her necklace-yolk-thingy, and extracted a single piece of paper. She slid the thing across the table to me.

D-5482,

There has been a human spotted in Canterlot. He seams to be completely unaffected by the curse, and has even made friends with not only the royalty, but also the local Garg’s Landing survivors garrisoned in the castle. Our Lady requires his immediate disposal. He poses far too great of a threat to the survival of the Changeling race to be allowed to live. Return to me when the job is done and we can move on to phase two. Feel free to be a bit rough.

-K-1

P.s. It would serve you well to remember that failure is not an option.

I had to go back and read it again. Someone actually has a hit out on me. This is the kind of thing that only happens in TV dramas, Skyrim, or some shitty fan fiction.

“Not only have the changelings infiltrated Canterlot, they have a high ranking officer spear heading the changeling operations here. This is beyond bad. The whole situation is, as Luna would say, a complete ‘Canter Fetlock.”

“So what are we going to do about this then?” My voice cracked and wavered. The past week was starting to catch up with me. The part where I was pulled from my home world, how I had been chased and nearly killed no less than five times was all starting to catch up with me. A person can only take so much stress, myself included.

Celestia, catching on to my distress, gave me a reassuring smile. “We are going to make sure that you are safe. Luna and I have come up with a few ideas on how to keep you from the changelings.” I was a bit touched that the mares who no less than a week ago were trying to kill me, would go out of their way to protect me. I was majorly confused.

“We could have you under guard again?” She offered. I shook my head, not wanting to be locked up again.

“No? We could have you join the guard. The real guard, not the solar guard. Lieutenant Gust speaks highly of you.”

I mulled it over. I had tried joining the military back home, but I got frequent migraines, and still do, and was disqualified from service. “Maybe, are their any other options?”

“Just one. I need to go down to the ruins of the Bridge of Harmony to run some errands right after we are done here. It will take a week to do what I need to do. I could drop you off in Ponyville on the way there. You will be well protected. Along with the Elements of Harmony living there, there are a few of out best soldiers stationed down there as well. It is a small town, and they tend to be a little more accepting of others there than in Canterlot. My student lives there. You already met her. Twilight Sparkle is one of the Elements, and has already been briefed on the situation, and has expressed her interest in making a better impression than the last time.” I remembered her. I had stayed a few hours before running off and trying not to get killed.

“You wanted me to pick the last one from the beginning, didn’t you?”

Celestia at least had the tact to blush.

I learned fairly early on that ponies are capable of blushing, regardless of the amount of fur on their faces. Certain patches of fur on a pony were actually a form of natural fiber optics, which is what allowed the cutie mark to show as prominently as it did. Another patch was on either of their cheeks, which allowed for things like blushing, while still retaining it’s natural coloring.

I sighed. “Alright, lets go with door number three. What about Ponyville makes it safer for me than the castle?”

“Ponyville is home to the Elements of harmony, Equestria’s last line of defense, and therefore must have a garrison of guards there as well. They are more than capable of making sure one more person is safe.

“Not to mention that, while she is not on assignment, Ponyville is where Bolverk spends most of her time.”

“Bolverk lives in Ponyville?” I was worried that there was a super assassin living in the same small town as I would be.

“She does, as does her handler. I will not betray her trust by telling you who she is, but you are probably smart enough to figure it out on your own.”

This was an interesting development. Celestia obviously wanted me in Ponyville for whatever reason she had concocted, but for the life of me, I could not figure it out. I needed more intel.

“Alright. If I am going off to Ponyville, I’m gonna need some information. Where will I be staying, and how am I going to get around? When will you need me for the exportation? And how am I going to pay for stuff?”

“We can arrange for a house to built on the edge of the town. Though for the time being, you will be staying at Twilight’s house. We will need you for the expedition in three days, and I will be paying you for the security job, remember?”

I nodded. “Can I design the house? The Equestrian architectural style just dosen’t work for me.”

“That’s fine. Do you have any other questions?”

Thinking for a moment, I responded. “Yeah. What’s the payment for the expedition job? I already promised you that I would do it, I just want to know what I will be making.”

“Well, Gareth. You have two options. Option number one is six platinum bits. That is roughly half a years pay for an average job. Options two is one of the empty saddle bags in the hole over there, enchanted not to allow cursed and dark magic imbued objects through, and a ring to detect these.”

Either option was enticing, in one hand I had enough funds to start a life here, and not need to worry about money for a while. The safe option. The other option was far riskier, but it hinted at a better payoff in the end. It was the solution to space for the expedition, and room for more valuables. It was a difficult decision, but it was clear in the end.

///

We were riding the lift back up an hour later. We had finished our discussion, just hammering out the minor details. The ride up seemed to take a lot longer than the ride down, but that might have been the excitement talking.

We emerged from the giant block and into the black void. The shuttle was still there, and promptly took us back to the entrance.

Celestia guided me to the entrance and we left. Thankfully, there was nobody in the throne room. It was a fair distance from the castle to the train station, but it was not that bad. What was bad was the reactions that I got from the locals. They were unsure of weather to bow to Celestia, or to stop and stair at me. So they settled on a weird combo of both. Forelegs bend, ass in the air, and eyes on me.

We eventually made it to the train station, where Celestia floated over a ticket.

“I will not be joining you on the train, there is much to be done, but the trip is only two hours, and you have a good seat.” Celestia apologized.

“Thank you, Celestia. Will I see you soon?”

“Of course you will.” She reached into her yolk-thingy and handed me another slip of paper.

Looking down on the thick, semi metallic, golden piece of paper with confusion, while the multitude of onlookers stared at it with open jealousy. I could only guess at what the foreign symbols meant (I know for a fact that German didn’t have a horse shoe in it’s alphabet). So I did.

“I’m going to a chocolate factory?”

She giggled. “No, It is a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala.”

With a straight face, I responded. “That means literally nothing to me, but from the audience’s reactions, I can gather that this is kind of a big thing.”

“It is an annual gala hosted in the palace. The most influential and important people will be in attendance, and as a foreign ambassador, you are kind of important.”

In other words, an assassin’s target rich, wet dream.

But it was a gift from a friend, and it would be rude to refuse it. “Thank you, Celestia. I’ll be there.”

She smiled, then added “I know you can’t read Germane just yet, so I will let you know that the gala will be in eight months.” That’s pretty early to be handing out tickets, but who was I to judge. The fanciest party I had been to was when Mike’s grandma demanded that I be at their Christmas party, and I wound up drinking his sister under the table. In more ways than one.

So yeah, fancy parties are just not my thing.

“Now, I think you have a train to catch.” She pointed to the waiting train behind me.

I bit a quick fair well to my friend, and boarded the train. It must have been waiting for me, because as soon as the door shut, it took off. Celestia had flown off immediately after.

I sat down on one of the poofy benches. For the first time in my life, I was excited to work. Not because of the job itself, but from the place where the job was, and the loose crap hanging around that nobody cared about anymore.

I grinned evilly, and stroked the buckle on my new pouch. Celestia had unknowingly made a huge mistake. Time to reenact Skyrim.

///

In a far corner of the castle, there was a conversation taking place. It was too hushed for most to hear, and nobody even remembers what was said. But the ramifications are well understood, even to this day.

There was a snarl, and the sound of a hoof connecting with thick chitin, followed by a yelp and a quite dripping hiss.

The one who was struck left the room quickly, and the other was left alone. It was night time, and all that could be seen was a pair of normal, ice blue eyes, juxtaposing the compound green eyes of his former companion.

After a moment, there was an angry growl, and the ice blue eyes soon disappeared as well.