The Warlock

In which Gareth meats the Equestrians

O0o0O

“-ck is... Ok, what?” Gareth stood back up when the odd pipe contraption vanished, and his entire world changed around him.

The world had gone from the dark and somewhat clammy storm channels of the Vegas underworld, to a bright and frigged evergreen forest. It seemed to be the dead of winter here, where as Vegas was just entering late fall. There was little to see other than half buried trees and snow. The forest was dense enough, he could only see out about a hundred yards or so.

Being from the desert, where temperatures never got bellow 30, and usually got higher than 120 in the summer, Gareth would have been way out of his league if he was anyone else. He was still however, freezing.

Gareth did not pull off the gas mask just yet. The lenses were polarized, and the glare from the snow would blind him. He did however pull off the filter from the front of mask.

Knowing what to do, Gareth took inventory on all of his things (still there), and started to shovel snow out from under a tree to try and make himself a shelter. This was gonna suck. He had only done one video on tundra and snowy forest survival, and he barley came back from that one, and was severely malnourished from the month he spent in the frigged wasteland. Not fun. He had been digging for a good half hour when he heard a noise that relived him immensely.

Bells.

Someone was ringing bells and chattering away in some foreign language. They might know he was here and were looking for him. Maybe he did not have to survive in the forest until spring. Deciding to walk towards the sound, he began to try and rationalize what had happened to him in the tunnels, and could not. He tried to add up what happened in the tunnel and where he was now and got a grand total of cabbage. Nothing was making sense today.

Within a few minutes, he was nearing the bells. He was within only a few yards when he heard a second noise.

Snap!

A twig. He had stepped on a twig. What was this, armature hour?He was so excited to not have to spend a few months eating boiled pine needles and bear fat, that he did not stop to to think and look where he was going. He heard the ringing and talking stop, and something starting to move towards his position. He stood and waited, as they now knew where he was. What he saw was not anything like he expected.

What he saw was something he was having a hard time understanding. They looked to be about the size of a Great Pyrenees, and with a disproportionately sized head, around the size of a humans. They were roughly as long as one too. What was really throwing him off was the color. The shy looking butter yellow one could be forgiven, but the purple had a coat the same color as a heavily infected wound. What struck him next was the horn on the purple ones head. This was a unicorn. There was a unicorn right in front of him. And the yellow one cowering behind the unicorn. It was a Pegasus, judging by the wings. They seemed to be much too small for the creature to be capable of flight. They must be vestigial organs from a long time ago or an ancient ancestor. Either that, or they can beat their wings at 17 times per second, and even then, the sheer energy consumption must be massive! And that was just a heavily laden swallow (not sure what type)!

Being the numskull I was, this thought occupied me for a moment.

“Hallo? Herr Minotaur? Sind Sie veloren?” German. I am dealing with a unicorn. Speaking German. This was just about the weirdest fucking thing I have ever dealt with. Why German of all languages?! I racked my brain for a brief moment before replying.

“Ich nicht... s-sper-sperchen.” I stumbled over the words, butchering them spectacularly well. It was really the only German I knew, other than food names. Helped when dealing with my Ex's German grandparents.

“Kenen ir farshteyn mir?” This one apparently knows many languages. It just might know English.  “Faodaidh thu gam thuigsinn? ¿Puedes entenderme? Peux-tu me comprendre? Ymmärrätkö minua?” Holy shit, this was insane! Hwo many languages did this one know?! It looked like it was struggling, so I tried helping.

”Do you speak English?” This got it's attention. It smiled, and looked sheepish (why does it look sheepish, and why do I know what sheepish looks like for them.

”I do not know what English is, but I know what Gryphic is!” Great. Unicorns with thick German accents. As if this whole situation wasn't hard enough to understand already. I sighed and continued.

”Where am I? I seem to be a bit lost.” Yeah, no kidding.

”I am sorry to hear that. You are in Ponyville.” I am where? My head tilted in confusion must have told her that I did not know where thay was. ”Equestria?” I shake my head. It seemed to get nervous at this point. With shifting eyes, it asked ”Earth?”

Yes! I knew that one! ”Yes, I am from Earth. Are we not in America?” It seemed like an obvious answer, but confused it.

”Is that on the continent of Antera? We do not know much about the world out side of Antera?” Ok, this was freaky. I was on a planet named 'Earth', but I was probably not on my 'Earth'.

I think I should be more scared than I currently am. Oh well.

This could be bad. They might think I am a spy or something, and execute me for espionage. Or even an alien! Oh man, I might actually get dissected by unicorns and pegasi! Thinking quickly, I gave out the first fantasy reference I could, and seeing as how this was a freeking Unicorn speaking to me in a thick German accent and a Pegasus seemingly cowering behind it, I think I can get away with it.

”Faerûn!” I was going to die. ”I am from the Continent of Faerûn, and the country of Lantan, to the south west.” Oh, I hope I was right, that there was a continent to the south west, otherwise I was gonna get to know a dissection table real well.

”The south west?” It was stated with almost fear. ”You in the south west?” I released the breath I did not know I was holding. That was close. I cupped my hands and breathed into them to try and get some feeling back into them. I did not think that I would need heavy gloves and therefore did not pack them.

”Oh my gosh! You must be freezing! Come on, let's get you to my house to warm up a bit.” That sounds awesome, albeit a bit terrifying. Going into an alien ponies house. However, he was cold enough that he would accept that same offer from Stalin.

O0o0O

It was odd. The town had gone from a bustling community, to a ghost town the moment I crossed city limits. They must not have been used to seeing six foot tall bipeds with enough gear to supply a small third world country. But from what I could see (before they hid indoors), the males and females were rather different. The males had more angular features, and tended to be of slighter build than that of a females, who tended to be larger and had softer lines and features. Kind of odd, but I guess not all that uncommon in the animal kingdom. But it was obvious that my escort were female. The yellow one left earlier to continue on with waking sleeping animals. Kind of rude if you ask me.

What was uncommon was to be invited into a tree house by a unicorn. The house was not in the tree's branches, it was the tree. They had somehow managed to carve a hole large enough into this tree (looked like a boabab and an oak had a baby) without killing it. The tree was massive. It looked to be at least 75 feet in diameter, and over 30 tall, and that was just the portion of the tree with visible windows! Stooping down, I entered the tree.

Inside, I was greeted with the distinct aroma of a library. And it was rather apparent that this was just that. The walls were lined with books, their shelves carved into the very walls of the place.

”Well, this is home. Would you like anything to drink?” I nodded and requested some water. She trotted off to the next room, which I assumed was the kitchen. I looked around for a place to sit, and found a desk in a corner. She returned a moment later with a flagon of water. It was kind of hard to miss the purple aura surrounding both her horn and the flagon, but I did not react in fear of being discovered. So I thanked her and took it.

I had noted a distinct lack of visible technology in my short time here. The houses were all thatched roofed, with only a few exceptions. The streets were all cobblestone. There is a lack of motorized anything. The air was clean and free of pollutants. And I get handed a flagon of water. It might be safe to assume that this country, or the village at least, was in a medieval state. I might just have the most advanced piece technology in the country in on of my pockets. And I used it to film myself, and fling birds at pigs.

I was so focused on contemplating this, that I missed the unicorn introducing herself.

”I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.” Smooth. Now she thinks I am some kind of dazed idiot staring at a flagon in deep thought.

”I said my name is Twilight Sparkle. What's your's?” Odd name, but she was a unicorn. Whelp, not the first time I used a fake name.

”My name is Phelan Anderson. Thank you again for inviting me into your home.” Why did I keep using ideas from fantasy stories? Phelan was my favorite character in D&D.

”I meant to ask this earlier, but what is that white thing on your face? Is it some kind of mask?” I had totally forgotten I had been wearing the gas mask. I undid the clasps on back of the mask and pulled it off. I had been sweating a bit under the thick rubber, so my hair was a bit matted. Readjusting the goggles to their normal spot, I relaxed.

”I have never seen anything like you before.” She noted. ”Are there more of you to the south west?”

”Yes, many more.” I answered.

”Is it dangerous, what with how close you are to the Echo” She had used the word 'Echo' as one says the word 'Auschwitz'. This was ungood.

”I haven't seen any issues. What is so bad about the Echo?” I asked.

”You haven't heard of the storys?” She asked in disbelief.

”Lantan is a bit isolated from the rest of the world. Why is the Echo so feared?” It was making me nervous about what I had gotten myself into.

”The Echo is where the humans were banished to.”

Doubleplusungood.