I can never catch a break. Late Sunday evening, there was a persistent pounding on my door that wouldn’t stop no matter how much I ignored it.

“Oh my God, will you sto- …Jesus Christ, what do you want?” I greeted Princess Celestia.

“Hello,” she reciprocated with her usual annoying smile, “I’m simply doing as you asked and not making you come see me.”

“How nice of you,” I replied honestly, “it’s nice to be listened to every once in a while. Come on in.” The look of complete confusion on the princess’s face was almost enough to make me start laughing, but I was able to contain myself as I led her to the sitting room.

“Have a seat. Want a drink?”

“…N-no thank you,” she answered as we both sat down.

“So, what do you need?”

“I… I’m sorry, but… I’m afraid I just don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“You.”

“Me? What’s not to understand?”

“What’s not-” she repeated exasperatedly, “Everything! The first time we meet, you’re extremely hostile towards me for whatever reason, and the second was more of the same! Now when I come to you, you aren’t rude in the least! You’re like whole other pony!”

“Person.”

“Wha-yes… person.”

“Alright, I guess I can explain part of problem to you, but I’m a little disappointed you couldn’t figure it out for yourself,” I said with an amused shake of the head.

“Please, enlighten me.”

“Let’s see… When I think about it, I suppose it all started with you.”

“Me?”

“Yep. You and your desire for world peace.”

“What’s wrong with wanting everypony to get along and be equals?”

“Nothing; it’s a great idea in theory. But you and the very words you speak are proof that peace and equality doesn’t exist here.”

“H-how is that?”

“This is what I’m taking about,” I sighed, irritated that she wasn’t getting it, “you pretend to not understand what the problem is, but I know you do. Hell, I'm pretty sure your sister is more aware of it than you. Humor me for a moment: what did you see on your way here?”

“…My citizens?”

“Be more specific.”

“…P-ponies in need?”

“Close, but you’re still dancing around it. It’s not just ponies; there are griffons, mules, minotaurs; there are more than just ponies under your rule. But do they ever get any representation? No. Tell me, when was the last time you spoke to one of your citizens that wasn’t a pony, noble, or fellow princess?”

“…”

“That’s what I thought. You’ve brainwashed yourself with your own idea of peace and equality, and as a consequence haven’t taken the time to even think that maybe, just maybe, other creatures, hell, other ponies, have a different idea of what peace and equality is. You’ve brainwashed all of your subjects to think that it’s their way A.K.A. your way, or the highway. Because everypony thinks you’re a goddess, they won’t dare question you. But you’re no god; a god knows all and sees all. You know nothing and keep yourself from seeing.”

“I…I-”

“But there was someone who knew better, wasn’t there?”

“…I don’t-”

“Yes you do. Twilight,” I stated, making the princess flinch, “she didn’t believe what you said in the beginning, did she?”

“…H-how…”

“I can still see it in her; the doubt. When she came and saw me one time, I took her around the neighborhood; showed her the flipside of what she knows. To be honest, I’ve been holding back on telling her these truths in hopes that she would find out herself, what with her being the Princess of Friendship and all. I still have high hopes for her, but I can see your lessons have rooted themselves deep in her.”

“H-how can you know this? S-she didn’t tell you, did she?” the princess asked worriedly.

“She didn’t have to; I can hear it in the way she speaks and see it in her actions. I find it weird how even though you have doctors, ponies aren’t diagnosed with the most obvious of mental disorders. The overwhelming need to record and analyze anything that has to do with friendship and make some sort of scientific sense of it; she seems to be a little obsessive and compulsive. Sure, you helped her get over her social anxieties and make some friends, and for that I say thanks. But how many friends does she actually have? There’s a difference between calling an acquaintance a friend and someone you’ve known for years a friend.”

“…”

“But what does all of this have to do with my attitude towards you? I’ve pretty much said it but, you’re a tyrant.”

“E-excuse me?”

“Tell me, how much responsibility have you given back to your sister?”

“…A-a little…”

“And how much input have you let Twilight have on any of the affairs dealing with the state?”

“Q-quite a bit, actually.”

“That haven’t dealt with her being an Element or friendship?”

“…”

“Exactly. From where I sit, you’re a tyrant who has the whole country in the palm-er, center of her hoof. If you actually cared about peace and equality, you’d… never mind, that’s the part you’re supposed to figure out. Now, is anything I just said still unclear? Do you need me to repeat anything?”

“I… No, I think I understand… but I think you don’t understand that ruling a country is difficult.”

“I never said it wasn’t, but I think the easiest thing you can do, is just stop.”

“S-stop what?”

“Ruling. You and Luna.”

“Wha-I can’t do that! The nation would crumble overnight! Everypony would panic at the loss of their princess! There would be chaos!”

“I hear there’s an actual god that can handle that.”

“B-but, they wouldn’t know what to do! They don’t know how to take care of themselves!”

“And now we get to bottom of things!” I said happily, “They’re like your kids, aren’t they?”

“…”

“There’s a reason you don’t have any kids of your own, and because of that reason you’ve adopted the idea that your subjects are your children. Well, let the byproduct of a failed relationship and terrible parenting give you some advice: they’ll figure it out. Sure, there’ll be chaos for a while, but they’ll eventually find out they didn’t actually need you and can get by just fine governing themselves.”

“I-I-I-”

“But like I said, that was just a suggestion. I know you’re going to do whatever you want; I just hope it’s for the benefit of everyone, not just you.”

“I-wha-how-”

“Now, what did you actually come over here for?”

“…Guests… coming… tomorrow…” she muttered incoherently.

“…Okay, I’ll be on the look out,” I replied as I got her to her hooves and shuffled her towards the door.

“…You-you-”

“Chin up, Princess. You’ll find a way through this,” I comforted as she stood outside the door, “you always do.”

Author's Note

Damn, rant much?