The Therapist

Name: Gale

Session Number: 3

“Oh, hey. You came back,” I greeted Gale at my door.

“Surprised to see me?”

“No, just surprised it took you so long.”

“The princess has been a little busy recently, and I heard it was because of you,” she replied as she sauntered in.

“I… I don’t know anything about that…”

“…Right,” she said, unconvinced as she sat down, “well from what she’s told me, she’s only spoken to me and Princess Luna since she came back from her outing last Sunday. If I was doing my job correctly, and I like to think I was, I’m pretty sure she came here.”

“Okay, so? What do you want from me?”

“Answers.”

“…You’re already ruining my quiet evening, so why not? It’s pretty clear my plan to make money backfired when she came here herself. So, what do you or the princess want to know?”

“First things first: you don’t plan on attacking the country, do you?”

“Me? The one who doesn’t compare to any of the creatures in this world on any level except common sense? Yeah, I’m going to attack you guys full force in the next week.”

“Alright smartass, just making sure. Now, how’s your relationship with the locals?”

“As far as I know, no one hates me despite how much I might hate them and I haven’t gotten into a fight yet.”

“Yet?”

“It’ll happen eventually and when it does, you can look forward to seeing my swollen face.”

“Well, unluckily for me, I’ll have to stop watching over you after I report back with this.”

“Oh, so you’ve been watching me?”

“Of course. Truth is; I’ve been watching you since you got to Canterlot at the princess’s request. She’s always had an eye on you.”

“…That’s nice to know now,” I mumbled as I looked around my loft suspiciously, “is Princess Twilight aware of this?”

“No. Princess Celestia was using Princess Twilight’s daily reports on you to learn what she needed at the time, but once you became more unpredictable she hired me to watch you.”

“…I guess the princess deserves a little credit where it’s due.”

“I’d say so. Now, what are your feelings towards Dew Star?”

“Dew Star? What does she have to do with anything?”

“I saw you and her head to that club the other night. Considering you don’t have any friends and she’s one of your most frequent customers, the princess wants to know what you’re planning on doing with her.”

“Jesus, I’m not doing anything with her; I was just helping her out.”

“By having her sleep with you?”

“God, if you were actually spying on me, you’d know I carried her back to her place after she fell asleep. I don’t enjoy sharing a bed.”

“…Alright, and what are your feelings towards the princess?”

“Well, I don’t hate her, but I still think she’s a tyrant. Besides all of the things I told her last time, she seems like a nice enough pony-”

“Do you see yourself becoming friends with her?”

“…What?”

“Do you think you could be her friend?”

“No… No, I can’t be anyone’s friend. Why? She doesn’t want to be my friend, does she?”

“I don’t know, this is just what she wants to know,” she answered with a roll of her eyes.

“If I ever decide to start having friends, she can be the first on my list if that pleases her.”

“Alright, and lastly; let me have all of the files you have on your customers.”

“Oh, alright. Let me just reach into this file cabinet,” I said as I did so and pulled out a single piece of paper, “oh, would you look at that?”

“What?”

“It’s a piece of paper that says, ‘fuck you,’” I said as I showed her said paper, “the one and only rule I follow is that I don’t tell anyone about what happens in here, even the princesses.”

“She said you might make this difficult,” she sighed as she stood up, “just give me the files and-”

“And what? You won’t take them by force?”

“Well, you did say you’d eventually get into a fight,” she said matter of factly with a smirk, "and the princess said she's not too concerned for your safety anymore after you've shown her how well you can take care of yourself."

“…Okay, let’s not resort to violence,” I said as I too stood up and moved in front of the cabinet, “because no matter what happens, you’re not leaving with anything besides what I already gave you.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you can take me?” she asked as she lowered into a defensive stance.

“You obviously didn’t hear what I said earlier. I’m saying that even if you do beat the shit out of me, you’re not getting anything.”

“We’ll see about that!” she said before pouncing on me.

“Hey, calm down!” I exclaimed as I caught her wrists, “Is it really this serious?!”

“Yes! I’ve failed already, I can’t again!” she said as she easily broke out of my hold and knocked me to the floor. Quickly getting back up, I tackled her away from the cabinet and pinned her on her back.

“There’s nothing wrong with failing a second time,” I said through clenched teeth as I fought with all my strength to hold her down.

“That’s what you think!” she said before kicking me in the stomach, making me let go of her and fall on my side. She stood back up and took a moment to dust herself off before heading to the cabinet again, but I held her back by her tail.

“J-just give up,” I coughed.

“I could say the same to you,” she said before kicking me in the face, my nose letting out a sickening crack, “whoops. Sorry, I didn’t know you were so soft.” I held my bloody nose as I watched her reach for the cabinet, only for her claw to be shocked and make her jump back with a small yelp.

“What the- what did you do?!”

“Heh, I didn’t think that magical charm worked,” I said nasally through my bloody hand as I sat up and looked at the unassuming rock on top of the cabinet.

“You have magic protecting this?”

“Of course. Just because I can’t control magic doesn’t mean I don’t use it,” I said as I stood up and walked past her, “Now, it would be great if you’d leave; I’m a little upset that you just broke my nose.” She stared at me stupidly as I opened the door and pointed, but my finger poked something on the other side.

“Oh my Celestia! A-are you okay?!” Dew Star asked when I looked at her, “My goodness, your face!”

“Oh, perfect timing. Do you know where the closest hospital is?”

“W-who did this?” she asked as she moved my hand and looked at my smashed nose.

“Uh,” I muttered as I looked towards my sitting room and found nothing but an open window, “…no one. I fell.”

“L-let’s hurry then.”

Observations: What do I get for cooperating? A broken nose and a hospital bill. And I didn’t get paid again… it’s almost like I’m working for free, but at least I won’t see her again… Does this mean she’s being replaced, though? Or has the princess really stopped caring about me? I hope to God she’s stopped caring; I’m getting tired of royalty.