Lemon Zest is Internet Famous
Fame Sometimes Doesn't Change A Person
A click.
The whir of a focusing lens.
Bright green hair and a pink amaranth face, the latter sporting a huge grin, sat in the focus of the camera. Lemon Zest kept her grin, pressing a button on the remote to start recording her newest vlog.
"Hey dudes! It's the one and only Lemon! And not the kind you clear from your browser history!" she let out a laugh, wiping a fake tear from her eye. "Oh if I didn't learn how to laugh at myself, I'd have been dead by now. Let me start this vlog by saying, if you are under 18 or even under 15, you need to click the little "back" arrow and just watch a different video." Lemon paused before continuing, "Yeah we both know you didn't do that. Anywhore, it has been a while since my last vlog, so I thought today would be a good day to do some fun with just us. It's been such a long time and I felt like we drifted, so I wanted a day to just get closer, y'know? Doesn't that sound like fun? No? Well then I don't know why you're here if you didn't want to have fun. I mean I go through all the work to make these videos and edit them, just for you to say you don't like my vlogs? Oh, you want more gaming? Well too bad! I'm vlogging today and you'll enjoy it!!"
The rocker paused and giggled, "That got dark fast. What was I talking about? That's right, spending time with you guys. In the spirit of wanting one-on-one with you dudes, I sent out a whinny on Trotter, and asked what you all wanted to watch me do. Some of you wanted me to watch cringe videos, others said to do the 'Try Not To Laugh' challenge. But there was one Trot. One of them that scraped the bottom of the bucket. It pushed a lot of luck, but in the end, I'm a girl who just wants to have a lot of fun. Someone that likes to push the administrators' buttons at Hooftube HQ. So, in light of the day, I feel there is no better way to get close than with cooking! Not just any cooking though. We're gonna be making waffles today," Lemon leaned down, pulling a bright blue and carefully detailed eight inch suction cup dildo from the bag. "Oh, yes. We're making dildo-blue waffles."
Lemon grabbed the camera, taking it and the dildo out to the kitchen. "Indigo isn't home yet, so this'll go without any criticisms. At least for a while."
She propped the camera up, smiling but recoiling as she realized her face was close. "Whoa! Sorry about that, guys, you didn't need to see my skin cells like that. Now, if you have a dildo just laying around at home, we can do this together! No I am just kidding, whatever you do, do NOT try this at home, kids."
"Anywhore, back to the baking. What you need is a brightly colored rubber or plastic dildo. Make sure to not use metal or battery operated ones! That's even more of a fire hazard!" the rocker girl let out a forced laugh, continuing her video. "Now that you have that, make sure your waffle iron is heated up nice and hot, then spray non-stick butter to the iron."
Lemon Zest waved her hand over the iron, shaking away the heat as she picked up the bottle of non-stick spray. "Now, it's best to use name brand, but I don't want to be sued so I'm using this one. You just spray it all over the iron like so," she sprayed the iron, smiling. "Oh yes, it is getting caramelized fast. Mm! If I were making real waffles this'd be perfect. But, unfortunately, I'm just destroying Indigo's fucking waffle iron."
The green-haired girl picked up the fake shlong, the suction cup making a loud 'POP' as it came off the granite counter. She laughed for a few minutes at the sound before composing herself, "That noise is just too much. When Indy and I were buying this thing, for the video of course, I literally spent like 20 minutes just popping the suction cups off the glass stands."
"Now that we have everything ready, we just place this malleable man-meat on the burner," Lemon put the dildo on the iron, shutting it as far as it could go and pushing down. The burner was smoking almost immediately, the dildo letting out a slight searing noise from the heat. A small whistle was heard, but otherwise the rubber phallus slowly stopped resisting its fate.
"Whew, we may need to take this outside, or maybe open the window," Lemon smelled the air, making a face. "Yes, we need to open a window. That is toxic. Again, don't try this at home, all of these tutorial steps are completely satire."
After a few minutes she lifted the lid, the blue dildo inside melted to Tartaurus and back. "Aww yeah! This is so cool! It's all gross and goopy! It reminds me of myself, actually."
As she pressed the iron back into place, the door to the apartment of the energetic pseudo-baker opened. Indigo Zap had come home from her volleyball practice to the smell of burnt rubber. Singed rubber, to be exact. She rolled her eyes, going straight to the kitchen and looking at her girlfriend as she stood in front of the camera.
"What are you doing?" the athlete stared at Lemon, completely unamused.
"Hey, Indy baby! I'm making a blue waffle with this!" Lemon exclaimed, opening the iron.
"...why would you do that?!"
"Because it's funny!"
"I didn't spend 20 bucks on that for you to make it into a breakfast mold! I bought it to give you some god damn pleasure, Lemon Zest!"
"Oh it is! I've been laughing my ass off for an hour!"
"You're impossible! It's the big one isn't it?!"
"Yeah the one that never fit, so it's cool!"
Indigo stood red-faced from anger, storming down to her room with a huff, "You're such a child, Lemon!"
The pink rocker looked to the camera, smiling, "She'll be fine. Trust me, she'll find this hilarious in the end. Speaking of my breakfast gold, I think it's done!"
With that, Lemon removed the top of the iron, the strands of melted rubber sticking to the crevices in the top. Lemon burst out laughing, nearly falling to the floor. She gasped for air, panting as she spoke, "Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I mean, it's fucking stuck to a greased grill! This is the best day of my life!" The pink girl continued to laugh for ten minutes, figuring she'd edit that part out later. The rocker picked up the camera to give them a view of the still veiny waffle molded into the creases of the iron. She just about dropped the camera as she laughed, but she regained her composure.
"W-Well that does it for this dildo, and the episode. Quick shout out to my bud Vinyl Scratch! She's got a new music video coming out this Friday, so be on the lookout for a girl with blue hair that matched this dick spinning some turntables! As always, if you liked it, be sure to hit that thumb so hard it spins, also subscribe because I make new videos every damn day! Stay sweet Lemonheads! Zesty's outta here!" She blew a kiss to her fans, waving good bye.
And with that Lemon turned off the camera, cleaned up the mess, and went to her room. She uploaded the video in silence, putting her headphones on and turning her music up loud. She lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling, grateful to her music for stopping the grating silence that followed these videos.
Being a Hooftuber was a lot of fun, but most of the time, it was just real life grinding on her shoulders. Stress, pressure, and fighting her inner demons. Most of all silence. Once the camera turned off, real life reared its ugly head and roared behind her. Lemon Zest had fun with her job, but once the fun was over, all that was left was silence.
Fucking silence.
Author's Note
This story was inspired by Shane Dawson's waffle iron videos. Since he can't waffle iron a dildo, I have done it instead!
Also inspired my KrismPro and Minx.
I've always wanted to make this story, but popular demand for my Dazzlings story has put it off. I finally buckled down to write this one, and I hope you like it! It's gonna be a long walk ahead of us, folks!
Written with love,
Pan/Nyx
Lemon Zest is Internet Famous
Lemon Zest woke to a vibration on her bed. Her tired eyes slowly opened to see the screen of her phone light up with the notification of a new message. She unlocked the screen and clicked on the Trotter app. Her feed was filled with hundreds of Trots and Whinnies, and she smiled softly. Her fans were so nice and caring, they honestly gave her the will to continue making a fool of herself.
Well, she did that on a regular basis. Now she got paid for it.
Lemon scrolled to her latest post and opened the comments. She read a few of them, just the usual fans fawning over her, occasionally some stupid hate or Internet fight floating around. She had been on the Internet long enough to know that she honestly had no say in those things. If they wanted to bicker, let them. All you can do is ask them not to. She went about her business, sending out another Trot before she locked her phone, getting up and stretching. The rocker checked the time, 8 o'clock at night. It was about time for Girls' Night with her buds. Lemon got up from bed, stripping to her birthday suit and going to her closet. She looked through her wardrobe, finding a pair of black jeans and a red V-neck to go with her skin. She smiled at the little lemon-like graphics across the breasts of the shirt, the pink girl felt very connected to that symbol, but she never understood why.
'Whatever. Just fate, I guess.'
Lemon pushed aside her inner thoughts to continue getting ready. She grabbed a white and blue hoodie she had bought a while back. The back of the hoodie had a giant black music note on it, under said note was the name 'DJ PON-3' in a neon blue font, both of which were customized to a one of a kind pixelated design. Vinyl had made sure to have her friend design it like that so it wouldn't clash with her job. Once Lemon had put on a fresh bra and panties for the night ahead, she got dressed into her casual outfit. She slid on some socks and pulled on a pair of scuffed white sneakers. The green-haired girl went to her bathroom to finish preparing for the night ahead of her. As she was brushing the knots out of her hair, she stared at herself in the mirror. Lemon hated looking at herself in the mirror before a night out, she knew she'd be way under-dressed. She put on a minor amount of make-up, walking out to her living room. The smell from the aftermath of the video hit her nose and made her smile. Melted rubber stunk bad, but the hilarity of it made up for the odor. She pulled out her phone, unlocking and clicking the Hooftube app.
'Only 8 hours and it already has a million views?!'
Lemon grinned at her success, pumping her fist in the air, "They love me!"
A chuckle from the hallway stopped her celebration. The rocker turned around, grinning from ear to ear at Indigo standing in the hallway. The athlete was under-dressed like Lemon, which promised a normal night out. Indigo wore denim jeans with tears on the thighs, a yellow T shirt with her trademark symbol across the entire front, the graphic design making it look painted on. She had a dark blue hoodie over her attire, and black high tops with white wing symbols on the ankles. Lemon kept her grin as she walked over to the taller girl, fixing an out-of-place hair on Indigo.
"You're looking hot as always, Indy. I envy how you don't need to put on make-up to look sexy," Lemon chuckled out, fixing Indigo's asymmetrical hood to its proper place.
"Nah, not really, you're pretty good-looking yourself, Lemon," Indigo smiled at the rocker, quickly continuing. "But I am still pissed off at what you did to my waffle iron, and the dildo. Those are expensive, y'know?"
"Whatever, I'll buy new ones," the green-haired girl brushed it off.
"Money grows on trees for you, huh?"
"Basically."
Lemon laughed as Indigo rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Sour Sweet texted me like 5 minutes ago, and you remember the last time we were late."
They shuddered in unison, quickly grabbing their things and walking down from their shared dormitory. Lemon took Indigo's hand as they stepped outside, briskly walking to Sugarcoat's car. It was a sleek dark purple Porsche with carbon black rims. The passenger window rolled down as they came into view, Sour Sweet's head popping out.
"Aww, they're holding hands!! ..what took you guys so long?!" the bipolar Shadowbolt stared them down.
"Calm down there, cherry. We were getting ready," Indigo retorted.
Sour Sweet grumbled, rolling the window back up. Sugarcoat unlocked the doors, allowing the duo to get in. Lemon took quick note of one absent friend.
"Dudes, where is Sunny Flare?" Lemon asked.
"Stuck at her dorm because her roommate got them into trouble," Sugarcoat bluntly replied.
"You mean, she got them in trouble?" Indigo raised her eyebrow.
"Well, she says it wasn't her fault... although we know that's a lie," Sour Sweet growled the last part.
"We're burning moonlight. Buckle up before I just hit the gas," the silver-haired driver adjusted the rear-view mirror, revving the engine to insure her point got through to them.
Lemon and Indigo quickly buckled up, bracing for the oncoming ride. Sugarcoat was no joke. She did everything to the point, including driving. As soon as they gave the go ahead, Sugar laid on the accelerator and put the car in drive. She peeled out onto the street, her Porsche going from 0 to 99 mph in less than two seconds. The three passengers were immediately slammed back into their seats, gripping onto the nearest safety they could.
"You know, just because your moms give you anything you want, DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED ANYTHING YOU WANT!" Sour Sweet exclaimed, this time her whole sentence was sour.
"Seriously, you'll kill us before we get to the party! Slow down, Sugarcoat!" Indigo was clinging to the armrest for dear life.
With a loud screech of the tires, the girls all lurched forward at the first red light.
"We're late. I'm hurrying up."
"You've souped this baby up enough to get us there in less than two minutes! You need to slow down," Indigo argued with the driver, who only heard 'get us there in less than two minutes".
"Is that a challenge?"
"NO!!" the passengers screamed in unison, but it was too late. As the light turned green, Sugarcoat floored it. She burned rubber for only a second before her car reached 173 mph. The screaming car did indeed get there in less than two minutes. As three out of the four girls bolted from the car, Sour Sweet ran around to the driver side of the car. She yanked open the door, proceeding to punch and slap Sugarcoat.
"YOU STUPID ASS YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP I SWEAR TO FAUST!" Sour Sweet landed a blow with each word, Sugarcoat shrinking away from the punches.
"You know it's annoying when you do that, stop hitting me!" Sugarcoat crawled over the emergency brake out the passenger door.
"Stop making me!"
"Hey, hey, we're here to have fun, not fight! Break it up, you two!" Lemon held Sugarcoat as Indigo restrained Sour Sweet.
Once the commotion ended, the four Shadowbolts strolled into the party. It was a typical high school party, despite some of the attendees being from Crystal Prep. Lemon put up her hood, wanting a bit of time with her friends before being bombarded with questions and fans. Indigo took Lemon's hand and rubbed her thumb over the back of her hand. Lemon Zest smiled at the comforting gesture, resting her head against the athlete's shoulder. Suddenly the music stopped, their attention being brought to the DJ booth.
"Attention everyone! DJ PON-3 is now taking requests from the audience! If you want your song played, please write down your choice in the binder outside the stage entrance. Up next is The Rainbooms, from Canterlot High!"
"The Rainbooms?" Sour Sweet bemused. "What are they doing all the way out here?"
"They sometimes play with Vinyl," Lemon explained to her friend. "She got the gig tonight, so she asked them if they wanted to play tonight."
"Well, don't you know everything," Sugarcoat said, pushing up her glasses.
The Rainbooms walked onstage, setting up their equipment. Sugarcoat squinted at them, "Aren't those the magical pony girls that saved the world at the Friendship Games?"
Indigo Zap took a second look, immediately registering who they were, "They are! Which means Twilight isn't far from them."
"We should find her, ask what's up," Lemon Zest suggested, smiling.
"I'd love to see her again. Even if she is a traitor," Sour Sweet smiled then frowned.
The quartet walked toward the stage, spotting Twilight sitting on an amplifier.
Lemon quickly took off her hood, yelling up to her.
"Hey, Sparks! It's us!"
She realized taking off her hood was a mistake, but not before there was a shout from the crowd.
"Hey, isn't that Lemon Zest?!"
"Holy shit, it is!"
"PinkLemonaaaade!"
"I need to get a selfie with her!"
Random shouts of excitement scattered the crowd, causing confusion among the Rainbooms. They all exchanged looks at each other, then noticed Vinyl waving to get their attention.
"Guys, pull her onstage!" the DJ exclaimed.
Sunset Shimmer was quick to react, offering Lemon Zest her hand. The rocker looked confused at Sunset's gesture, but as she went to turn around, her friends had been overrun by a crowd of fans. Indigo Zap, Sour Sweet, and Sugarcoat were nowhere to be found. Replaced by screaming girls, fawning boys, all-in-all insane fans. She turned on a heel, grabbing Sunset's hand. The former pony yanked her onstage, away from the screaming mob. Applejack walked up to the mic, taking it angrily.
"Listen up, ya'll!" The crowd calmed down a bit. "You do know this is a girl, right? Ah'm sure she came out to have fun, not be crowded with yer questions an' pictures! Ya'll need'ta calm down, Ah'm sure she'd appreciate it."
The crazy fans looked up at the band, then at Lemon. The majority of the mob went back to their party without question. A few fans stayed at the edge of the stage, but Vinyl had her guards push them back. Lemon looked at the Rainbooms.
"Thanks. I wasn't really looking forward to being trampled," Lemon Zest laughed.
"Oh it isn't a problem, darling," Rarity spoke up, smiling gently.
"It isn't very nice of your fans to do that," Fluttershy said meekly.
"Yeah, but that's what you get for being famous on Hooftube," the amaranth girl smiled, looking down at her now visible friends.
"Wait, Hooftube? You're on Hooftube?" Twilight Sparkle walked up to the group.
"Well, yeah. PinkLemonade, haven't you heard of it?"
"I, um.. I don't really watch Hooftube for anything but science," Twilight gave an embarrassed smile, adjusting her glasses.
"I should've expected that from ya, Sparks," the Hooftuber smirked, crossing her arms. "Well, you guys are behind schedule for your set, and I have to get back to my friends. Good seeing you again, Sci Twi. You should come back to visit us at CPA."
Lemon hopped offstage, prompting a few of the earlier fans to turn around and stare. Indigo hugged Lemon, kissing her cheek. "You okay, Zesty?"
"Yeah, Indy, I'm fine. You big softy," Lemon smiled at her, placing a quick peck on Indigo's lips.
"Awww you two are so cuuute! And nauseating," Sour Sweet cooed then booed the couple.
The couple shared a laugh at their friend, and continued their night with semi-peace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was about 2 in the morning when Lemon Zest and Indigo Zap got home. They had laughed, danced, sang, and partied for six hours straight, and frankly, both of them were very tired. She would be lying if she said she hadn't have tried the rumored alcohol-laced punch. It was one of the few nights they weren't Crystal Prep students, and were just a group of friends. She mildly regretted not having Sunny Flare there to enjoy it with, but after thinking about it, she realized the goody-goody would have just been a big stick in the mud. Lemon got into her pajamas, crawling into bed beside a still-dressed Indigo. She plugged her dead phone into the charger, plugging Indigo's in as well. Lemon Zest looked at her long-time friend, short-time girlfriend. She smiled happily at the sleeping athlete, tucking her in and joining her under the warm blankets. Lemon gave Indigo a long kiss on the lips, finally breaking it after she couldn't hold her breath any longer. Lemon stared longingly at the sleeping girl, smiling with joy in her eyes, softly speaking to her.
"You've made my life so happy. You give me purpose, Indigo Zap. More than anyone else. I promise to help you all I can, I'll be there for you when no one else is. I hope you know that."
With that she snuggled close to her girlfriend, nuzzling under her chin and into her neck, finally dozing off into the first peaceful slumber she'd had in a long time.
Author's Note
This is a chapter I'm a little curious for feedback on, please don't feel shy to tell me what I did right and wrong!
Pan/Nyx
