Blobskin's Macro/Micro Flash Fics

Version:1.01

Anon jogged along the dirt path with a red postman's cap seated firmly atop his head. He was mailman. Well, a mailman's apprentice technically. It was only his third day on the job and he had been entrusted with an entire bag of letters to deliver. Not too many though, he still had to prove himself capable of traveling and protecting the mail on his own.

However, his boss had given him a real test for today. In addition to the bag hung over his shoulder, under his other arm was a package with a Triforce seal on the front. The tag said it was to be delivered to the castle "IMMEDIATELY".

So here he was. An amateur walking 10 kilometers (6 miles) unarmed with a box blatantly labeled for the highest power in the land. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Anon paused mid-step. His eyes flicked back and forth. A low thumping sound filled his ears, but it was quickly getting louder. The ground began to shake. The only tree in sight swayed ominously despite there being no wind. "That figures," Anon groaned. Bad things always happened to him at the worst of times. Turning around, Anon was quickly rendered speechless. A massive chestnut colored equine was galloping in his direction.

The mare had a strong build loaded with muscle and a mane of glowing silver that waved behind her like a flag. From her knees down to her ebony black hooves was a strip of pearly white fluff and along her flank was a hint of a cutie mark he couldn't quite make out. Her huge blue eyes were focused on the horizon even as the large leather bags that hung from her sides bounced violently with her rapid movement.

But her most defining characteristic was most certainly her size. Because she was a 30 meter (100 ft) behemoth galloping her way along the narrow unpaved trail! Her hooves alone were 5 meters (16 ft) across and they pounded at the ground with enough force to drive craters into the soil.

Anon was frozen in place. What was a pony doing in Hyrule? More importantly, why wasn't he getting out of her way?! The mare was practically right on top of him and he had yet to move.

Finally, when a great ebony hoof was just about to crush him, Anon's instincts kicked in. He dove to the side with a girlish scream and slid into the grassy field on his belly. What felt and sounded like an explosion went off behind him and his body shook with the ground. Chunks of dirt and rock rained down on his back as he threw his hands over the back of his head to try and protect himself.

However, his cry had not gone unnoticed and the huge mare quickly slowed to a brisk walk before stopping several dozen meters ahead. Her head swiveled about as she searched for the source of the squeak she had heard. Meanwhile, Anon rose with a nervous tremor. The human looked back at the road and the hole he would have been lining if he hadn't moved.

Then, with horror, Anon realized something even worse. The package he was supposed to deliver to the castle was gone. He spun on his heels to search for it in the tall grass but immediately realized what had happened. He must have dropped it just as he dove for cover. Right where that mare stepped.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Anon screamed, falling to his knees in sorrow.

The mare's head snapped back in his direction, her eyes falling upon the dents she had been leaving in her wake. She blushed at her carelessness then carefully turned around to approach the little human. "Are you all right? I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

Anon looked up, mildly intimidated by her scale. Humans and ponies had shared a... tense relationship for a few generations now. These days peace was maintained by one simple rule: ponies stayed on their side of the border and humans stayed on their's. Being the first time he had ever seen, let alone spoken to a pony, Anon was understandably at a loss for words.

"Are you hurt?" she asked, laying down in front of him.

"No."

She analyzed him for a few seconds. "Okay. Well... could you direct me to Hyrule Castle then?"

"Wha-? Wait, what are you doing in Hyrule?" he asked.

Her body became rigid. "I've been tasked with delivering a new trade arrangement to your king. Please, this is an important matter and I don't have a great deal of time to chat."

Anon looked back at where his super important package had been destroyed. It wasn't her fault. She had something important to deliver too. Maybe even more important than his stupid little box.

An imaginary light-bulb suddenly appeared above Anon's head.

"I know where the castle is!" he declared, making her flinch in surprise. "I was actually heading there now. I could show you the way."

This was perfect. Escorting an ambassador to the capital. He'd be famous!

Unless negotiations broke down and war was declared. Then his name would go down in infamy as the idiot who led the enemy straight to the front door.

As he went through mental pinball, the mare began to feel awkward. "Um... excuse me. I think it would be best if you just pointed me in the right direction. No offense, but you're kind are a lot slower than us."

"I can't do that! Send a woman off by herself," Anon asserted.

The mare raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

"No way. I must ensure you get to the castle for this important historic event."

"With you setting the pace I'll never get there," she mumbled, though it was still fairly loud for Anon.

"Then I'll just have to ride you," he concluded to the mare's shock.

"Pardon? I don't even know who you are. You're not getting on my back."

"My name is Anon. Postman. At your service."

The mare blinked. "The postman wants to be my bodyguard?"

He scoffed. "I am a well-trained postman I'll have you know, miss."

"My name is Epona, captain of the Queen's Guard."

"You don't act like a captain. You're not even armed."

"It's hard to feel the need for a weapon around you adorable little humans," she said with a smug grin.

He huffed. "I think you're a little rude to be an ambassador."