"This weed should make the donuts better" [Chapter 0]
Author's Note
Please let me know if you like this ~~first~~ zeroth chapter. I made it up on the spot all in two hours and has very poor quality. If you think the story is better without it, let me know. Need feedback. This was the first time I ever set hoofs on writing fan fictions.
"This weed should make the donuts better" [Chapter 0]
This seemed like a good idea at the time, but you are now having more regrets than ever. You reminded yourself that all you had to do is stand there and wear armor. That's it, easy bits. Not even work when you think about it.
“This is a special moment in history, I'm going to be the first female guard ever,” you remind yourself. It wasn't working well as you still didn't want to go. Like a filly who doesn't want to go to school. But you have to, you already agreed to this.
You make your way out the door and start heading to the castle of the two sisters in Canterlot. You see a donut store and figure since you have a few hours, you might as well get some donuts. You pay for your donuts and sit at the only table at the donut shop. This was the smaller one in Ponyville owned by a single pony. It was a small business, but he made enough to live. You sigh and bite into the donut. This is the best donut you have ever had. You couldn't tell why, but this was a really good donut, like wow, Great donut. Really great donuts. Holy Celestia this donut was good. Mmmmm. This donut.
“Hello?” a voice said
“Huh, what?”
“Can I sit here? This is the only table.”
“Sure, go ahead.” You said as you moved your bag of donuts closer to you.
Did you really get hypnotized by a donut?
“Thanks for letting me sit here, got a little worried I'd have to carry these home.”
“No problem.”
You look up at the mare, she had a pink coat with blue fluffy mane.
“What's your name?” You said
“Icy Candy"
She opens her bag and starts to eat. After a bite or two, she seems to be hypnotized by the donuts.
You coughed.
"What?" She said, almost startled.
"You kinda fell out of existence for a bit," you said.
"Oh, yea... I guess I kinda just got carried away by this donut."
“I had that same feeling two."
"Really?"
"Yea"
"Do you think he did something to the donuts?" she said, “Should we confront him?”
“Now why would we do that? He's not doing anything wrong, he is just a very talented cook, that's all,” You said
“Maybe.."
You both continue eating, the effect the donuts had has faded and all you feel is relaxation. You finish eating before her and reside to say one last thing before you go.
" I'm going to Canterlot to start my guard training."
“A guard? Really? You don't even look like any of them, and your not even a stallion?”
“Yea, I'm kinda making history.”
With that, you head out to Canterlot to start training.
Here you are. Training. Everyone around you looks the same. You stick out like a sore hoof. Everypony was either a white or grey color. To this day you still wonder how in Equestria that happens. Do they force white and grey stallions here against their will? If so, how did Flash Sentry become a guard? Maybe him and me are the only ponies who have ever volunteered to do this. Who knows, maybe there is a more logical explanation you'll be told later. But for now, you are about to start.
A white stallion walks into the room and order you all into a straight line.
“I am going to teach you all to be guards. Understand?”
“Sir yes sir!” The room said in a way you would expect a class of fillies to respond.
The stallion didn't seem to care, he continued as if they said it perfectly.
“You all will be handed your armor pieces one at a time, when you get them, put them on. Do you understand?”
Again, they all said “Sir yes sir” in a not so perfect way.
On your first week, You are given introductions, fitness assessment, rifle and drill lessons. Every week or so you do different training. This lasts for about 7 months. You are then dismissed to a different section of the castle, where real royal guards are. You are officially the first female royal guard.
Now that you think about it, you were the first female royal guard in training, so you kinda already made history. But this is where it matters. You lay in bed thinking about all that you have done. You have trained so long to become a guard. It did teach you everything you needed to know. It wasn't much, after all, you would be standing still all day. But you did receive instructions on how to respond to ponies that are higher rank than you or you are guarding. That "Sir yes sir!" thing and what not. You where pretty sure that no one would want to be spoken to that way, but what ever. It's your orders and you are to never break them, unless you are promoted to the highest authority, where rules essentially don't apply.
A loud banging sound caught your attention. You immediately started putting on your armor. You finish putting on all your armor, except one piece, the chest plate. That was the hardest part. The latches where so tight and hard to use you would always be in the last 10 ponies to finish putting on the armor. You were never last, luckily. As there was always a pony slower than you. There was no punishment for being last, but ponies would remember you as the pony who can't put on thine armor. You have no idea how they even remember who is who. They all look the same, and your the same species as them!
"I AM SERGEANT HAZEL ECLIPSE. I AM GOING TO BE YOUR NEW COMMANDING OFFICER. YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY WITHOUT HESITATION. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!"
"Sir yes sir!" Everypony said in unison. They had never said is so perfectly and so loud in their life. This new commanding officer was going to be way more harsh.
"TODAY WILL BE YOUR FIRST DAY GUARDING THE CASTLE. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE. DON'T MESS UP. THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE SEVERE, AS A SINGLE MISTAKE COULD KILL THE PRINCESSES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
"Sir yes sir!" Everypony said.
"EVERYONE FORM A LINE DOWN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM. WE ARE GOING TO THE CAFETORiIUM TO EAT BREAKFAST. THERE WILL BE A GROUP OF FILLIES AND COLTS ON THE STAGE THAT WILL SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM TO HONOR YOUR FIRST DAY OF SERVICE WHEN YOUR DONE EATING. DO NOT GET UP AND LEAVE AFTER YOU ARE FINISHED EATING. I WILL DISMISS YOU." He said. How a pony could yell that much was beyond you. Practice makes perfect, right?
You are near the end of the line, so all you had to do was follow who ever was in front of you. You arrive, get your food and start eating, like he said, a group of fillies and colts came on stage and started singing.
♫ Equestria, the land I love ♫
♫ A land of harmony ♫
♫ Our flag does wave from high above ♫
You started zoning out, thinking about other things. What if you were part of the group chosen to guard a single pony? What if there was an attack?
The group finished and the guards cheered and clapped their hooves together. The commanding officer commanded everypony to put the trays away for the cafeteria workers to clean. You all went back to your room where you stayed. The castle was clearly intended to have guards. It was kinda a mix of prison, boot camp, and school.
You all go back to the training room and stay there for hours. The boredom was real. Normally if they had plans for the group, they would have the guards reenact what the tourist might do so you can stay calm and avoid laughing. You would stand their while a guard would walk up to you and pretend to take pictures and what not. Or you would practice swapping out with other guards. But this time, you just sat in your bed. Doing nothing. After a while, a guard spoke up, and everypony started chatting. You didn't join in because you didn't know if you where allowed to speak, but somepony said your name and you perked up.
"What?" you said, clearly confused.
"How long do you plan being a guard?" a pony said.
"Uhh. I don't know. Maybe a few years a guess? Don't exactly plan to spend my entire life here."
Some ponies agreed while other disagreed. Some said that was to long, others to short. The group kept chatting while you laid back in your seat and fell asleep.
A banging woke you up, it was time to switch out with the guards. It was time for you to official start guarding.
You and your group head outside. It's night time and its snowing. You are then split up into smaller groups and sent to specific spots around the castle. You have been chosen to guard the main gate, the left side. You do the ceremonial swapping and stand there, looking forward. Ponies are walking in and out. You are to stop anypony visibly carrying anything contraband. You are also to stop anypony banned from Canterlot itself. Luckily, only a few ponies mess with you, as it's snowing and nopony bothers with guards while its snowing. Also, you are at the front gate. Most ponies want to enter the city first, before messing with the guards.
Two hours pass and you see the next guards come by. One stands in front of you and you swap places. You turn to your side and start walking back. When you get inside, you lose the funny walk you do where you barely bend your legs and act normal. You go to your block and start putting up your armor. You fluff your hair and get in bed, a few ponies are already their, and some just arriving. You lay down and fall asleep. Hours later you are woken up for your 2nd round. You put on your armor and do the same thing. When you get back, you take off your armor and put them in your chest. You then leave for home.
