(This story takes place in the crystal war universe, not the normal one if you didn't figure it out by now)

In a giant field near the Crystal empire (ruled by Sombra) Sombra's army and Princess Celestia's army were battling it out to the death. Basically the soldiers were slapping each other, how you'd think they'd fight, if you guessed horribly, you'd be absolutely right.

While the troops fought Celestia and Sombra were staring each other down. Both exhausted from fighting for hours. Celestia asked him.

"Are you done? Because I got a lot more where breath that came from!" Sombra replied.

"Oh please, you got nothing! I still, got a bunch of magic ready to go."

"Bring it you illusion!"

"You banana loving freak I'll win!" They charged their horns and fired huge beams of magic at each other. The beams hit right in the middle making a large boom.

Nopony was hurt, but it knocked them all down including Celestia and Sombra, when they arose there in the middle stood a lone figure.

He was a human wearing a gas mask covered in dry blood, you could see that his right eye was exposed from the broken eye piece, it was brown by the way. He had long flowing hair that reached the middle of his back, he also had a black, torn up leather jacket on with a lot of blood splattered on the back of it, the sleeves were torn off showing his huge muscles, I mean they were like this.

His arm in a nutshell.

His legs were covered by the bottom half of an orange radiation suit that has seen better days, his boots were just flat black with very sharp knifes poking out of the front of the shoe. He had a very toned body that looked like it was glowing a bit. His height was about 6 foot 3.

The strange man also had two pistols holstered at his sides, they were flowing green with radioactive goo balls that should of killed the man just by having them within a 30 foot radius of himself. His other weapon was a knife that was attached to the lower right part of his mask.

He looked around the battlefield for a minute, everypony was just stared at him not knowing what to do. The man looked at Sombra and Celestia before going to his holsters. He pulled out two......... business cards and held them in front of Celestia and Sombra, after a moment of hesitation they took the cards with their magic.

He pulled out his green goo guns and pointed the left one at Sombra's head, the right one to Celestia's head.

He said in a very fast and friendly voice, "Hi my name is Terrance and I'm a freelance mercenary with no morals, no soul, and nothing to lose, I have 1054 confirmed kills and I've never betrayed my initial employer no matter what the other guy offers. For the right price I will kill, torture, rape, or do anything you ask me to do to anyone you see fit.

Now if one of you wants my help then give me an offer, or I will kill you both and your armies in a heartbeat. Fyi I honestly don't care what ether of you stand for, I have no morals."

Sombra asked, "Why shouldn't we just kill you? All you got are some kind of glowing boxes!" He looked over to the soldier next to Sombra and asked.

"Is that soldier one of yours?"

"Yes it is, but that doesn't answer my question."

Terrance pointed the gun at the soldier and fired, a decent sized glob of goo shot out hitting the soldier in the face, immediately after it hit the goo started to melt through the helmet and onto the pony's head, the soldier screamed out.

"OW IT HURTS, IT HURTS SO MUCH, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF NOW! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He fell down and the goo melted his body into a green glob with half charred armor on top of it. Celestia and Sombra just started at the pile of goop.

"Don't think any kind of shield you have will deflect it, this goo will go through anything, I mean anything near it gets killed. Ask me again, why shouldn't you two just kill me? Assholes."

Celestia replied, "You realize that you just killed that stallion, without an ounce of thought, right?"

"Oh sorry, I have a thousand kills, one of them was me pulling a fetus out of the womb and shoving down the mother's throat while eating her husband's brains. I have no soul, remember? And the baby thing doesn't crack my top 10, so try me bitch."

Sombra shouted. "I'll pay you 10,000 bits!" Celestia replied,

"50,000 bits!"

"100,000 bits and the rank of general of my army!"

"Ha, 500,000 bits and you become commander of my entire army!"

"750,000 bits, a generals position, and a nice apartment in my empire."

"1 million bits, commander of my army, and a mansion overlooking all of Equestria!"

"Before I tell you my deal, do you like stallions or mares?"

He looked at Sombra and replied, "I'm a male, and I'm actually bisexual, meaning I can go for both sexes."

"Oh, well how about 1 and a half million bits, a generals position, a place in my castle, and you can get me."

Celestia shouted, "Hey! 2 million bits, commander of my whole army, a place in MY castle, and you can have me anytime, anywhere you'd like."

"Ha, how about anypony in my army?"

"Ha, 3 ways all night long."

"Orgy! all the orgies you could want. 3 million bits, the generals position, and a place in my castle."

"I'll match it, and Ill throw in a free shower, plus I'm over a thousand years old with a very hungry pussy, so I know how to suck a dick."

"I'll throw in the shower too!"

Terrance looked at both of them for a second trying to figure out who to side with.

After a couple seconds Terrance looked deep into Celestia's eyes which made her shiver. Then he looked at Sombra's eyes which made even him shiver from his cold stare, dead stare of something more evil than he ever could be.

He looked back at Celestia grinning under the gas mask, he tightened his grip on the gun, and fired it.

Author's Note

I don't care about likes, I'm gonna release more chapter no matter what, please just dont let the dislikes be over the likes, this story is going to a very select audience. Tell me what you all though of this story in the comments, and please, no hate comments, ether they need to be good, or they should tell me where I went wrong so I can fix it later.

Also I never said WHO he shot at, find out next chapter!