A Double Life

I woke up and while I felt sluggish once more, I did feel more rested then before. I got up and combed my mane, brushed my teeth, and left the house. I left a little later then usual but it wasn't late so I wasn't to worried. I got to school fifteen minutes later and sat down along with the rest of the class. After the bell rang, some mare sitting next to looked at me.

"Hey Ember, I've wanted to ask this question for some time but... are you and Grape... dating?" She asked.

I blushed almost immediately but manage to obtain my usual clam self. My head felt dizzy as she said that. She continued to talk as it tailed my mind.

"I ask because you two have been together for quite a while and everypony's been talking about it. I don't mean it a weird way but you both suit each other really well and everypony adores the idea. It's ok if your not but I just wanted to ask out of curiosity." She said.

Well it is true he confessed his feelings to be, but...

"I also heard another mare asked him out but he just laughed and didn't reply to her." She added.

I just smiled but bitterly. I knew it. I be lying if I didn't say I've been thinking about it for some time. Where has that confession gone? He's never brought it up again and never hinted on it. I knew, but... I thought it, but... He liked me even before he knew about the real me was. My heart has been feeling strange ever since then and I can't explain it but maybe... just maybe, I like him as well. I walked out and didn't reply to her. I asked my teachers if I could take the rest of the day off since I wasn't feeling well. They were fine with it and I went into the nurse's room to collect my thoughts.

I wanted to figure out how to solve this but every time I thought of an answer, it would make me feel even worse. I knew I was a lie. I knew I couldn't amount to nothing without feeling praised, loved and known. All those times I've put on a nice face, it was just one more lie to add, one more disappointment I had to carry on me... I heard the door open and it was Grape.

"Sorry but could you stay behind today as well?" He asked, "It's not to much so you won't have to stay behind as long." He said with a smile.

I nodded and he left the room. It was at this point I had already completely been removed from his mind as a couple... I worked on the paper and as I was doing that, I started to notice tears coming from my face. This time, they were real. My selfish actions have lead me to this and I'm paying the price for it... From the lies, acting completely different at home, everything. I'm such an idiot and it took me thirteen years to realize it. After about an hour, I finished the work but I didn't feel like going home right now...

I went into my first classroom and just sat down, looking directly at the ground. I was in the dark with only light and nopony in sight... I didn't deserve it after all. After about an half an hour, somepony opened the door and it was Grape.

""So your still here?" He asked, nicely.

He begin to walk closer.

I noticed the lights were on so I came up here so see who was still here. Did it take that long?" He asked.

I didn't reply.

"Oh, it's done. Nice job." He said, calmly.

I got up and threw the paper work at him. I looked directly in his eyes and said,

"I'm going to quit doing your work. I won't do it. I decided to not help you anymore."

He looked at me surprised but didn't change his body language.

"But, won't you have more problems?" He asked.

"I don't care anymore... You can tell everypony in Equestria if you want." I said, emotionless.

He looked at me with shock in his eyes but didn't say anything. I begin to walk past without batting an eye when he grabbed me.

"Wait a second." He said, "What are you mad about?" He asked, seriously.

"I'm not mad. Leave me alone." I said, coldly.

"No, something's wrong. This isn't like you to get mad for no reason. If something's wrong, just tell me. I won't be able to help otherwise." He said.

"it won't matter anyways..." I said, trying to leave.

He pulled me back and seem to be serious.

"It does matter. I don't want to see you this way." He said.

"Let go! I said, let go! " I yelled.

I pulled away and accidently hoof smacked him. I noticed the bruise on his cheek and we looked at each other for a few seconds. I slowly started to back up as I realized what I did... I lower my head in defeat. I was so angry and hurt. At myself and at him.

"I'm just sick of feeling used! I hate you! Just go away!" I yelled.

I ran out the classroom and heard him call my name. I continued to run for some time and didn't look back. I've forgotten, because I've been talking to him like I was friends. Because of my 'nice' personality, but in reality, he's just been using my weakness as a means to further his own gain... It's awful! When he found out what I really was, his actions completely changed and was using me without even asking me how I felt! I can't believe I've been so blind to his lies! I'm going to put an end to it all and...and...  I heard somepony behind me and I realized it was Grape.

"What the? Why are you chasing after me?!" I asked surprised.

"Because you're running away!" He replied back.

"I told you to leave alone! Stop following me!" I yelled back.

"No way!" He yelled.

As I keep running, I noticed an open window nearby. I jumped out of it just barely sticking the landing.

"Why are you running with everything you got?!" He asked, baffled.

I didn't reply and continue to run.

"I said wait! Ember, Wait a minute!" He yelled.

All of a sudden, I fell down and I ended up hitting the sport equipment. I felt scraps everywhere and could barely more but I needed to get away so I slowly crawled away from him.

"You still trying to run away?! Even you must be hurt after that! Let me see your face..." He said grabbing me.

Tears were still going down my face and  I could tell he saw my tears as well.

"So I'm a weird mare! I'm spoiled, a fraud, a liar, a hypocrite and just show I'm good when I'm really not! I abuse my appearance and lazy! I'm quite sure I'm a failure in your eyes, huh?! I'm not everything you imagine but... Why did your actions change?! Am I such a worthless mare if I don't act perfect and do everything!? I hate you! I hate everything about you! Your eyes, the way you look at me! I can't beat you, ok?! Is that what you want to hear!? I'm a loser who fakes everything for attention!" I yelled crying my eyes out.

He extended his hoof out but I rejected it.

"Don't pity me!" I snapped.

He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like this." He said sincerely.

I didn't look back at him and continued to cry.

"Am I really that much of a freak...? Do I really not have any worth if I don't lead by example?" I asked, still crying.

"No, of course not. I like the normal you. Your fun, energetic, loving and I wouldn't trade anything in the world to change it." He replied.

I slowly looked up and saw that he was smiling. I was stunned by how he can say that with a straight face.

"F-Fun...? Loving?" I asked, confused.

"Not in a weird way but in a way that everypony should be. Caring, compassionate and put others before their own. Even if it's fake, I feel as you really mean it. To tell you the truth, I never had any intention of telling anypony to begin with. I never wanted to use you and make you feel forced to do anything. I just used it as an excuse to get to know you more. To talk to the real you and see what you really are. I thought it would it would let me get to know you better but not at the expense of your happiness and making you feel worthless. Your the first mare I've talk to that's special and  worth being with. I never knew that I was hurting you in the process and for that, I truly apologize for my heartless actions. I won't ask you to help me anymore if you want." He said, with a loving passion.

I see... It wasn't that he didn't care about me. I'm glad but... now I'm the fool once more for not just asking him. I smiled and said,

"Looks like I cried. I'm such a fool aren't I?"

He shook his head and wiped my tears away. From this point on, We became friends that shared a secret. He helped me up and took me inside. It hurt to walk but I felt better knowing that he never had any mean intent to hurt me or tell anyone. We went to the nurses room and he tended to my wounds. Maybe, I can finally drop my anger against him and talk to him normally. I felt a sting as he was healing me but I didn't say anything. He bandaged my scraps and bruises and helped me up.

"I'll walk you home." He said, smiling.

I nodded and it was a slow but enjoyable walk not just for me, but for him as well.

"Hey... I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I-"

He placed his hoof on my lips.

"It's alright. It was my fault for making you feel that way." He said, interrupting me.

I smiled and we didn't exchange any more words after that. We continued to walk for about an hour before reaching my home. It was pretty late and nopony seem to be up witch would save me the time to explain what happened. I opened the door and he helped me upstairs. I opened the door to my room and he laid me down.

"Thanks." I told him.

He nodded and said,

"I'll let everypony know your be out tomorrow so just rest up."

I nodded and he left. I tried to move but it was pretty difficult without feeling some type of pain. I closed my eyes and went right to sleep...