Joint Custody

In the most bustling part of town, when the sun was at its highest and everyone was moving from place to place, two women stood in the middle of the crowded town square, handing out fliers to anyone who would read them. Most fliers quickly ended up in a nearby trashcan when the women weren't watching, too polite to be able to openly turn down their message without even giving them a chance. This was, after all, probably going to be the most competitive race that the town had seen in recent years.

It’s not that the town was doing poorly by any means, and besides a small hair-dying scandal, the incumbent mayor hadn't had any mishaps that would have caused the town not to trust her. Instead, it was the emergence of a powerful new candidate, who was catching the eyes of the townspeople left and right. His name was Downstage Trump, and with his fiery words and confident bravado, he would be able to convince people that even the economy was just a fancy way of saying donuts (which definitely helped out Donut Joe’s sales).

To put things bluntly, if the mayor didn't convince people fast that she was right and he was wrong, she was about to be unemployed.

“Vote for Mare for Mayor!” the girl with a cowboy hat said, holding out a flier to a man who simply avoided eye contact and marched forward without acknowledging their existence. “Y’all have a good day now. Vote for Mare for Mayor! Howdy! Be sure to vote for Mare for Mayor!”

“I think that’s enough for now,” the older woman said, gently placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “It looks like everyone’s lunch break is almost over. You have a lot of work to do over at the farm, don't you? Why don't you get back to that? I can take care of the rest of these fliers tonight during rush hour.”

“Aw, shoot. You know I’ll be down to help as soon as I’m done. Why don't y’all come down to the farm and have somethin’ to drink before goin’ back to your campaign speech? I can even take a break to listen to it if you’d like.”

The mayor dropped her shoulders, releasing all the tension in her neck and sighed loudly, pressing her fingers to her temples. “You know I don't mean to be a burden, Applejack.”

“Aww, shoot. You know I’d do anything to help with your campaign.”

“I know, and I really appreciate that. I’m just so overwhelmed with everything that’s been going on lately that I--”

The mayor’s words were abruptly cut short by Applejack’s fingers pressing against her lips. “Come on. Let’s grab you some cider, and I don't wanna hear no down talk about this election. You’re gonna do fine!”

As much as the mayor wanted to interject Applejack’s kind offer, she knew that her mind would probably explode if she didn't have her best friend by her side in the meantime. In fact, the two of them were hardly ever apart since Applejack first volunteered to enter the political scene.

The blonde-haired cowgirl wasn't too far into the political scene (besides being an advisor to the princess of friendship), but she had known Mayor Mare since practically the debut of her time in office. If anyone knew what a trustworthy, honest and just woman she was, it was Applejack, and she’d stick by her side no matter what kind of rhetoric Trump used to get on top. After all, under Mayor Mare’s term, the country faced turmoil after turmoil, but Ponyville had always managed to survive, recover and press on, no matter what challenges behooved them.

The election itself was going to go right down to the wire, and the two of them had only four days before the Mayor was to give her campaign speech and only three days after that until the physical election. Needless to say, at this point it didn't even matter if her hair was naturally gray or not; the stress itself was enough to take care of it for her.

Once the two made it back to the farm together, they made no delay in quickly going to the fridge, popping open a bottle of cider and finding a nice quiet place in the yard to sit down and relax. The mayor then checked her watch, making sure to gauge even her relaxation time to make every second count.

“Can't ya put that thing away for five minutes?” Applejack asked with a smile, sticking her gardening hoe into the ground and leaning forward on top of it.

“But then how would I know when it’s been five minutes?” Applejack didn't know whether she was joking or the stress had gotten to her that much, but either way, she couldn't help but laugh at how silly the Mayor was acting.

“Ya know, I can't tell ya a thing or two about politics, but after workin’ on a farm my whole life, I can tell you a thing or two about managing your time. If you let it stress you too much,” Applejack placed her palm over the watch, blocking the time from her view, “you won’t get anything done on time. Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya can and forget about the rest. I mean, what’s the point of takin’ a break if you’re just as stressed going into work as you were before?”

“So, you mean I should take less breaks?” Applejack, smiling still wider, threw her hat onto the Mayor’s face. “What was that for?”

“How long did it take for you to get my hat out of your face?”

“Umm… two seconds?”

“Really? Because I thought it was three.”

“Does it make a difference?”

Just then, everything clicked in the Mayor’s head, and Applejack, grabbing her hat, putting it back onto her own head and winking, said, “Nope.” Then with that, she left the Mayor to go plow in her gardens.

The clock struck five o’clock, and with a chime from the clock tower and the sun low in the sky, people began to file out of their businesses and pass through town square once again. In the middle of it all, once again, were the two women, each with an armful of fliers with the slogan “Vote for Mare for Mayor!” As they expected, however, most people just lifted up their hands without making eye contact and continued on their way home. Nobody seemed to care much about listening to someone’s political opinions as they were trying to come home from a day of work, but then again, nobody seemed to ever want to listen at all. As much as the Mayor didn't want to admit it, she knew she didn't have nearly the same amount of energy or charisma that Downstage Trump had.

Then, finally breaking the chain of uninterested passersby, one man finally made eye contact with the Mayor and swiftly made his way towards her. “H-hello!” she stammered. “Are you looking to vote in this next election?”

“Yes, but I have some questions to ask you first,” he said with a not-so-friendly twinge in his eye. “What are your thoughts on the current immigration policy held by Ponyville?”

“W-well, I believe that anybody who wants to enjoy life in Ponyville is entitled to do so, regardless of their background.”

“And what about regular people like me, huh?!” His tone quickly shifted into an angry roar, staring her in the eye to where Applejack was seconds from stepping between them. The Mayor, though, held her campaign posters tighter and shivered. “You have no idea what you’re doing to our economy! Do you know who founded Ponyville? Manual laborers like me. They couldn't use magic. They didn't have wings. Yet somehow, they did just fine. What you’re doing, is allowing people with a genetic upper hand to outcompete us for job opportunities. Do you think someone would rather hire someone who’s good with their hands or someone who can just cast a spell and make it go twice as quick? The founders never wanted this!”

“My granny is one of those founders,” Applejack said, stepping in between the man and the mayor, “and she’d be pretty upset if we kicked someone out of this town on account of them havin’ wings or bein’ able to cast spells.”

The angry man snarled and backed away. “You don't know what you’re doing! Trump stands with us, and he’ll be sure to get my vote next week! Figure out whose side you’re on, laborer!”

“I already know whose side I’m on, and I’m gonna stand with the Mayor!” But the man had already walked away and was out of earshot. “I’m sorry you had to hear that. Some people just don't--”

Applejack’s words were cut short once she turned her head and saw the gray-haired woman, sobbing silently with shaking shoulders. “I’ve never been under so much stress in my life,” she said, followed by a huge breath in between sobs. “I don't know of I’ll be able to do this!”

“Aww, sure you will.” Applejack placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. “You know, maybe we’ve handed out enough fliers for one day. Let’s go work on your campaign speech some more.”

Unable to speak through her tears, the Mayor weakly nodded and began walking with Applejack back to her office.

***

“So, uh… Why again do we have to do this outside?”

Standing outside Twilight’s castle were two of her winged friends, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash, who had just spoken, tilted her head in confusion with a hand on her hip while Fluttershy, standing next to her, shivered in place.

“Because this spell is extremely unstable,” Twilight replied with a spell book in her hand. “If something got in the way, it would probably bounce this way, that way and the other until it found two matching partners. For this to work, I’ll need a clear shot.”

“Please don't describe it that way,” Fluttershy said softly, hiding behind her long pink hair.

“Aaaand why did you pick the both of us for this?” Rainbow asked in unamusement.

“Because I need two partners who are a biological match.” Rainbow Dash unenthusiastically shifted her gaze to Fluttershy, then to Twilight, then back to Fluttershy, then back to Twilight.

“Yeeeeeahhhh, I don't know about that.”

“Well, you two are the most compatible subjects I could find, so--”

“I--I’m a s-s-subject?” Fluttershy asked, wobbling in her knees.

“No! Let me rephrase that. You're a science experiment!... Oh, boy… I’m not very good at this am I?”

“Not in particular. So what is this spell supposed to do, anyway?”

“Oh! I’m glad you asked. This spell is designed to temporarily merge your strengths into one!”

“Soooo, basically giving Fluttershy all my awesome talents?”

“And transferring some of Fluttershy’s talents over to you, yes.”

Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry. “Come on, Twilight. It’s not like I’m looking to talk to animals or anything.”

“You could pet a bear.” Suddenly, both Twilight and Rainbow Dash turned their heads toward Fluttershy, who had one hand in the air like she was asking for permission to speak, but then quickly pulled it back to her chest. “Nevermind. You probably don't want to pet a bear.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said before turning her head back to Twilight. “Could you just zap us already and get it over with? I’m getting antsy.”

“Alright. Here it goes!”

Twilight’s hands then began to glow a bright purple as a circle of light engulfed her, lifting her into the air and flipping the pages in a gust of wind until it landed on the exact page she needed. Then, the words began to peel off of the page and float in midair before her, increasing the velocity of the winds surrounding her. With her hands outstretched, a purple ball of magical energy formed in her palms, spinning in circles and growing larger until it shot out of Twilight’s hand and towards to two winged girls.

Fluttershy cowered in fear while Rainbow Dash braced for impact, but just as the orb was feet away from them, Fluttershy reflexively fell to the ground, covering her head in cowardice.

“No!” Twilight shouted, dropping the book to the ground and falling onto her knees. All three girls looked back to see where the ball had gone, but by this point, it was already lost in the distance. Twilight bit on her nails, looking on with anxiety and hoping the energy sphere would just dissipate with no clear target. Knowing Twilight’s case, though, she was never that lucky.

“Well, this has been fun and all,” Rainbow Dash said, putting her hands into her pockets, “but I think we should probably get going before we get busted for breaking someone’s window.”

“Sorry, Twilight,” Fluttershy mumbled with her head hung low, slowly getting back to her feet.

“It’s OK! It’s fine. What’s the worst that could happen, right?”

***

The Mayor leaned forward on her desk with one hand while resting her face in the other, dropping all of her campaign fliers onto the ground and trying her hardest not to burst back into tears. Applejack, coming up from behind, then placed her hand onto the Mayor’s shoulder, allowing her to release her stress in silence for the next several moments.

“10 years, Applejack. I’ve held together this city for the past 10 years, and until now, nobody has had a problem with it.”

“And they still don't!”

“Applejack, I’ve seen the polls! I know exactly what this city thinks of me. I’m old news, a has-been, an old hag! They want something new, something that I can't give them! All I have is my experience!”

“And they’d be crazy to vote any other way.” Applejack then brought her arms around the Mayor’s waist and embraced her in a warm, tight hug. “You can't talk sense into people who won't listen, so all you can do is your best. You sure won't get anywhere by bein’ someone you’re not, so… could you try just havin’ a little bit of faith in yourself? For me?”

The mayor blushed. Surely Applejack was just saying whatever she could to cheer her up, but the warm feeling she gave her waist was nothing compared to the warmth she was feeling inside her chest. The gray-haired woman then wrapped her own arms around Applejack’s, hoping that she would never have to let go, no matter how ridiculous it seemed.

Then, without warning, a purple orb shot through her window and began ricocheting off of every solid object in the office. It bounced off of her bookshelf, her lamp, her desk and just barely grazed past both of their ears. The two women held onto each other tighter, hoping that it would bounce back out the window or stop some other way, but the one thing they were hoping wouldn't happen just happened to be the most likely occurrence.

After bouncing off of the office door, the sphere shot parallel with the ground and hit Applejack square in the back, passing through her body and making its final voyage into the Mayor’s. The two then began to hover a few feet from the ground while a large purple light shone from both of their chests, engulfing them both completely in an overpowering brilliance until they both found themselves back on the ground with their heads spinning.

“Ugh… what in the hay was that?”

“I’m not sure. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I reckon so. Could… you let go of my arm, though?”

“What do you mean? And although I appreciate the concern, I’d prefer it if you didn't lean so hard on my hip!”

“Say what now?”

The two of them looked down.

Then they screamed.

Then they looked at each other.

Then they screamed again.

Then they tried as hard as they could to pull themselves away from each other, but like glue, they were stuck. Actually, glue would be an understatement. The two women had apparently been joint at the hip with their sides completely merged together, leaving the two with three legs, an arm at each side and their necks much closer than they felt comfortable with. Then again, nothing about this situation was comfortable in the least.

After trying to pull away some more, however, the two gave up, leaning onto the Mayor’s desk with both hands and gasping for breath from both the exercise as well as to calm their rapidly beating hearts.

“I don't understand,” Mayor Mare spoke up. “What was that? What happened to us?”

“I dunno, but I think I know a specific princess that might know a thing or two about what got us into this mess.”

Both of their eyebrows furrowed. ““TWILIGHT!””

*knock, knock, knock*

“U-um… Who is it?” called the voice behind the marble door.

“Just some friends who would like to have a word with you,” the Mayor said in a tone that hid her frustration.

“R-really? Because I wasn't expecting company this late at--”

“Twilight, will you open this door already?!” Applejack barked.

Without making any more excuses, the door began to open, revealing a timid, purple-haired girl standing behind it, and to their surprise, she didn't look the least bit surprised. “C-come in, girls. I’ve been expecting you.”

Twilight then led the way inside with the two (or rather one and a half) women three-legged wobbling their way into Twilight’s library, trying their best not to strangle her before she could undo the spell. As they arrived at the most spacious room in the castle, Twilight motioned for them to take a seat, which created a new problem seeing as how none of the chairs in the castle were designed to fit two butts at once.

“I think I might have an idea why you’re here,” Twilight mumbled, avoiding eye contact and toying with her bangs.

“Really?” Applejack said sarcastically. “Twilight might have an idea as to why we’d be here. Can ya reckon that? 'Cause I sure can't. More importantly, do you have any idea how to change us back?!”

“I’m really sorry, girls. You see, I was testing out an experiment, then Fluttershy ducked, and I was hoping the spell wouldn’t--”

“Twilight,” the Mayor said calmly, putting up her right hand. “We understand. You had a spell that went wrong. It’s not like this is the first time we’ve seen this before. What matters right now is how we fix it before anyone else sees us like this.”

Twilight fidgeted in her seat. “I’m guessing you got some looks on the way here?”

“Everybody was lookin’ at us!” Applejack exclaimed. “Heck, one guy even tried cat-callin’ us! Said he should bring us home and have a threew--”

“Anyway,” the Mayor interrupted before Applejack could make the situation any worse. “We’d really like to be changed back now.”

Twilight inhaled awkwardly, making the two girls’ hearts fall into their one stomach. “Change you back? Yeah… You see… About that…”

“Ya can't do it, can ya?”

“...Would you girls like some tea?”

“TWILIGHT!” the Mayor snapped, losing her last shred of patience. “This is your responsibility! You put us into this mess, and there is no excuse for you to not be able to change us back, especially since we both have careers that are detrimental to the functionality of Ponyville!”

“Don't worry! You’ll change back! The spell is temporary! I may not be able to change you back now, but the spell should still wear off on its own.”

“Uh-huh,” Applejack chimed in, again sarcastically, “and just how long before this spell wears off?”

Twilight bit down on her lip, tracing circles in the floor with her feet. “A-about a week.”

The Mayor dropped her head into her palm, rubbing her pounding temples to soothe the pain. “I knew it. I have a speech in four days, actually closer to three now! You’re telling me that I’m going to have to walk onto that stage without the left half of my body?”

“...Yeah…” Twilight hung her head defeatedly. “That’s what I’m saying…”

“Well,” Applejack spoke up in a much more cheerful tone than before, “sometimes you gotta do what you can do with what you’ve got. Ain't no use stressin’ about it now, is there?”

“I can find plenty of reasons to stress out about it! I have an election in one week!”

“That’s not what I said, though. I’m askin’ what good stressin’ will do to help out our situation.” The Mayor wanted to complain some more, but knowing that it would just cause trouble, she kept her mouth shut. “Now, how 'bout we head on over to my place, grab some dinner with the family and figure out where to go from there?”

The Mayor, still stressed out of her mind, clenched her hand on her knee, took in a deep breath and exhaled all the jittery nerves that she could. “You know what? Maybe we should. I think that’s a good idea.”

“Applejack, this was the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

As the two women sat at the dinner table, using two chairs to support the both of them, the Apple family laughed hysterically, poking fun at the two of them while they ate in frustration.

“Hold on!” Applebloom projected to her family. “I’ve got another one! These two have been through worse, haven't they? But no matter how bad things got, they always stuck together!” Big Mac and Granny Smith then joined Applebloom as she erupted with laughter, holding onto her sides in her fit of humorous hysteria.

The one and a half women, though, dug their forks into their mashed potatoes, shakily trying to angle it into their mouths but failing over and over again. “Dang it!” Applejack exclaimed. “I can deal with the family pokin’ fun at us, but how'm I supposed to eat with my left hand when I’m right-handed?”

“And I’m left-handed,” Mayor Mare said, dropping her head in despair. “No use stressing over this either, I’m guessing?”

Applejack put her hand to her chin, trying to come up with an idea. “How 'bout this? Maybe it’ll be easier for me tryin’ to feed you and you tryin’ to feed me?”

“Great idea, Applejack!” Applebloom exclaimed. “I always knew that two heads were better than one!” Again, laughter filled the room while the one and a half women attempted their feeding plan.

“You two’ll hold up alright,” Granny Smith chimed in. “After all, I always thought y’all two was closer than kin! Inn't that right, Big Mac?”

“Eeyup!”

Putting their forks down, the Mayor and Applejack scooted their chairs back and stood up angrily. “I think we’ve heard enough for one night,” Applejack said. “Come on, Mayor. Let’s get ready for bed.”

“I agree. Thank you for the food, but not so much the commentary.”

The women then attempted to three-legged walk their way up the stairs, holding onto the handrail for dear life as they made their way to the top of the staircase. Upon seeing Applejack’s bedroom, the Mayor turned to the right, but for some reason, Applejack was pulling in the opposite direction.

“Umm… Applejack? You know your room is this way, right?”

“Well ya can't expect me to go to bed without takin’ a bath first, can ya?”

“A b-b-b-bath? You mean… with the two of us?”

“Unless you can think of some other way, I don't think there’s anythin’ we can do about it.”

The Mayor gulped with sweat dripping down her face, but if they were going to be stuck like this for the next week, baths as well as trips to the restroom were going to be unavoidable. The two then walked into the bathroom, closed the door behind them and switched on the hot water, watching the water fill the tub as the steam began to rise. Without another thought, Applejack reached for the bottom of her shirt and began tugging it upwards, struggling her way to get her arm out of the hole before the Mayor realized that she should be helping too.

With a large breath, the two girls were finally able to pop the shirt off of their head, but their bra would be a completely new obstacle. The two of them then reached behind their back, none of them either sure just where the latches were supposed to be until Applejack found a spot where the two half-bras met. “Found it!” she declared, moving it around to where the Mayor would be able to help release the other side.

“This is going to be a nightmare getting these back on, won't it?”

“Like I said, don't worry 'bout things you’ve got no control over.” Finally, the fabric unlatched and fell to the floor, giving each woman a clear view of the other’s breast. Suddenly, the reason why it had been so hard to get their top off became painstakingly clear, as their breasts had seemingly merged with each other's, making their boobs twice their normal size. Looking down, they found a similar problem: their waist had slendered down, making their hips stretch wide and their butt pop out about as far as their chest. Then, looking back up at each other with red faces, Applejack continued, “H-here. The bottom part should be easier.”

With two zippers in the pants, all the two of them needed to do was unzip their own side and shimmy their jeans/slacks combo down their three legs, which, given all they’d been through that day, was the easy part. Once their pants were on the floor, though, the two ladies stopped for a moment before revealing their most private area, grabbing onto their panty/thong combo with shaky fingers. Applejack, however, knew that she was going to have to get used to it eventually and led the way, sliding the fabric down their legs.

The women tried not to look at each other’s areas, but the curiosity was something they knew they would end up justifying at some point anyway. Applejack kept her bush natural, whereas the Mayor kept hers neatly trimmed. The sight of both of their genitalia caught them by surprise, but coming back to reality, Applejack quickly turned the faucet off before the tub got to the point where it would overflow once they set foot inside.

“Well,” Applejack said, breaking the silence, “I guess we’d better get in.”

“Hmm? Oh! Right! It would be pointless for us to get this far and not go all the way.”

“Pardon?”

“Why don't I go first!”

Awkwardly, the Mayor lifted her leg over the tub, dipped her toe in to gauge the heat of the water and leisurely descended the rest of her foot into bath with Applejack following close behind. They then both sunk in as far as they could, still not too sure how comfortable they felt with the other staring at their breasts. With the water up to their necks, Applejack let out a sigh.

“A whole week, huh? Well, I could think of worse.”

“I can’t…”

“Really? You think bein’ with me for that long is gonna be that bad?”

“Well, it’s not that. It’s just… Who would vote for a woman with three legs… or two heads?!”

“Ones who know who you are on the inside… and preferably ones that know Twilight.”

“...I suppose…”

“Hey, you’re lettin’ it get you down too much! Let’s go out there and be the first two-headed Mayor Ponyville’s ever seen! I’ll tell ya what. How 'bout we spend the first three days workin’ on your reelection? Then after your speech, we can see what we can do back here at the farm. Does that… work OK with you?”

A long pause filled the air before Mayor Mare felt comfortable enough replying. “Well, it’s not the most preferable thing in the world, but I guess I can't complain.”

As much as Applejack wanted to cheer her up, when she looked at the Mayor’s face, she displayed nothing but despair and a lack of hope for her future. After wading her hand in the water, however, an idea crept up in Applejack’s head as to how she could help. Lifting her hand halfway out of the surface, she squeezed her hand, squirting water right in the Mayor’s face.

“What was that for?”

“What was what for?” Applejack replied with a smile. “Don't tell me you’re seein’ things!”

“You just splashed water on my face!”

“Water? Like this?” The blonde cowgirl then cupped a handful of water and squeezed it back into the Mayor’s face.

The gray-haired woman then wiped as much of the water off of her face as she could. “Yes! Like that!”

“Sorry. Don't know what you're takin' 'bout.”

“Oh, you asked for it!”

The mayor then splashed a tidal wave into Applejack’s face in retaliation, but with her arm already lifted to protect herself from the onslaught of water, she slammed her hand against the surface of the tub, soaking them both. Almost instantly, the two found themselves in an all-out splashing war, filling the room with the sounds of water and laughter, and the first time either of them had laughed all day.