Chapters Author's Note
This is an odd start to something I've actually never done before. I am trying to combine aspects of a mythological world that has been sitting within my mind now for some 30 years. The main protagonist is essentially a means for me to explore an escapism from a hellish existence, to one of peace and understanding. I'd be very tempted to know what anyone thinks of this, if they even think of it at all.
This prologue is an attempt to describe in an amount of detail the "world" from which the human protagonist has come, and his insertion into a parallel universe which he clearly cannot yet comprehend as being equestrian. The building of this relationship and his attempts to recuperate and integrate with the utterly polar existence in Equestria will follow in succeeding chapters.
Prologue.
“This must be what a parallel universe is like', I thoght [sic]. Everything looked the same, but I suddenly felt like it wasn't. Like everything had been taken apart, brick by brick, flower bed by flower bed, and put back together in the wrong order. Just like me.”
― Jordanna Fraibergberg
The man in the ragged, burnt uniform sat within a crater that had been formed at some stage by an artillery shell. He was surrounded by a sea of death, mud and profanity, all of which he had become all too used to. It wasn't that his current situation didn't bother him, he had simply become accustomed to being in these kinds of fixes. He managed an indignant sniff and sat there observing the rising water within the shell hole. He found it strange that just as someone could develop muscle memory, they could also learn to experience horror and trauma and yet keep those somewhat corralled at the back of their consciousness.
Christ, he was tired.
It had been a solid two day action and nobody had even had so much as the suggestion of rest. As the sergeant in the platoon, the younger adepts all held a high respect for him. In the two hundred and fifty solar cycles he'd been fighting, he'd never attempted to rise above his current rank. The concept of being in a situation where he could not physically drag a wounded comrade to safety was anathema to him. His genuine concern and care of the members of his platoon served thus as a double edged sword - on the one hand his loyalty earned him a great deal of respect and trust, yet the concern he held for the others had caused him a great deal of personal trauma. It had brought him to within an ace of being killed on too many occasions for him to be able to count.
He shook himself from his reverie and glared angrily at the ersatz coffee he'd been trying to imbibe. Try as he might, the rain found the fucking canteen anyway. Not that it mattered a great deal - the coffee available this far forward tasted awful anyway. The running gag among the troops was that they took the water that the REMFs used to boil their socks, and then carried that up to the lines. Certainly the luke-warm, brown liquid he was now staring at in his battered canteen looked for all the world like diluted shit. He'd not tasted diluted shit before, he thought to himself - but he was prepared to hazard a guess that it tasted very much like what he now stared at.
This fucking rain. This fucking planet .
He looked down once more to stare idly at the way the heavy rain hammered the pool at the bottom of the hole he found himself in. Other adepts had also sought some kind of shelter, both from the elements and from the attentions of the enemy. Since achieving either end was proving difficult, he sat safely enough within the shell hole as it filled with water and tried as hard as he could to stop the water diluting his canteen of boiled socks any further.
Following two days and nights of intense fighting, the wounded had finally been able to be dusted off and for now at least their ceaseless moans and hallucinatory exclamations no longer assailed his ears. This did little to alleviate the horror of listening to the death rattles of others still out in no mans land. It helped less to see pieces of what had once been humans still scattered around the parapets.
In the back of his mind, an old quote flickered briefly in his consciousness, something about war having many faces but all of them being ugly. Taking a brief respite from the mediocre coffee, he scratched enough of the mud from his ID to read his full name and blood type. "Rolltagen, Karn O+" he muttered. At least he was still in his own skin, he thought darkly. Following the opening of the main offensive in his sector, several of his friends were no longer in theirs. He laughed bitterly to himself - one had to, after a while. So many years, so many friends, so many ghosts. It seemed to have been thousands of years that the forces of order and chaos and battled over this now accursed and barren wasteland. 'What the hell for' was the question the survivors found themselves asking.
Not for coffee-flavored shit and a wet arse, at any rate.
Karn was a somewhat unusual person to find in the middle of this particular nightmare. He was comparatively mild mannered, even for a veteran adept of some two hundred and fifty solar cycles' experience. As an order adept he was bound to fight to protect and preserve, a code he had tried and fought very hard to adhere to. After seeing this particular planet he was on reduced from a once thriving, simple farming society to that of a cratered, blood covered horror, he wasn't entirely sure it was worth it. At least if peace returned here someday, the blood and gore would probably provide farmers of the future with rich crops. He was inclined to be less bawdy and obscene than most of the other adepts he served with. He figured this to be a combination of his upbringing (his parents kept a very broad and well stocked supply of books and such at their farm house, and his father in particular preached exercising of the body and mind) and just his natural inclination. Be that as it may, he was more than capable of killing - and such had been his profession now for a very long time.
His comparatively sensitive mind leaped from this thought and back to the battered canteen he was consuming bad coffee from.
"Are you going to finish that fucking thing, or are you just going to hold it to keep you steady?" smirked another adept parked casually atop an old crate, just across from the growing pool of filthy water at the bottom of the shell hole. His interlocutor was another order adept - Coron. The way he seemed to be somehow chipper amidst the most unspeakable behavior that humanoids could possibly be capable of alternatively endeared and annoyed Karn.
"One knows not - but I can still safely say that it still smells better than you do, you bastard!" Karn laughed back at his friend. "Still, it's actually not too bad, as far as boiled underwear goes."
"Don't you mean socks? The major is keen on boiling his socks these days," Coron pointed out.
"Well, I figure this time they have gone for the high shelf gear. The taste makes me think they found a mechanic back there and boiled his underwear."
Coron stared quizzically at his friend for a moment. "So ... go on then?" he asked finally.
"Go on, how?"
"Well, does a boiled mechanic's underwear taste better than boiled socks?"
Coron was the one friend Karn had left from the first day he'd been posted. The two had been posted to the same unit, and the odd juxtaposition of their traits had welded a solid friendship. Karn's oddly philosophical view of the world, alongside that of Coron's harsh and darkly humorous one.
They had in fact been good friends now for some two hundred or more solar cycles in various hell holes. They both dreamed of a better life, should they live to the point of retirement from active service. Karn wanted to return to his parents' farm on Chronos IV, to his home country of Alsovia, and just live peacefully. His parents were also adepts, but had since been retired from the military and had taken to the farming game once more. Their old family estate was primarily a vineyard, but they also produced some very fine spirits. It would be nice to have a bottle or two here right now, regulations be damned.
Coron's dream was to return to the academy and retrain as a combat medic of all things. Though he was a man given to a dark sense of humor, when he had the chance to expound on his interests in medicine, even Karn was surprised at the academic depth his friend was gifted with - profane or not. Karn did in fact have quite a considerable grasp of human anatomy and physiology as well, but Coron's knowledge well exceeded his own. The fact that Karn was essentially an autodidact so far as his medical knowledge was concerned made this curious dichotomy of warrior and intellectual the more interesting. Who the hell had time to consider philosophy in a place where the man you were talking to could be atomized and sprayed all over you the next instant? Karn pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind, sipped his faux coffee and grimaced. The rain that had fallen into the canteen had essentially reduced the coffee it once contained to a cold, very slightly brown soup.
The rest of his company was currently keeping a low enough profile to prepare for whatever action the forces of chaos intended to bring their way. Chaos adepts were notorious for their treachery and their willingness to destroy anything and anyone who opposed their cause. As adepts they all had the ability from birth to absorb, convert and transmit energy in many forms. Some had a greater aptitude for this ability than others, and still others had particular abilities with some types of energy. Karn threw out the remainder of his cold coffee now mixed with rain water in disgust, and hooked the canteen back to his webbing.
Coron guffawed. "Ah, too weak a stomach for that stuff?"
"Not at all, I just feel that I've had my fill of boiled undergarments. It's too bad I don't have a cat's arse to lick or something, to rid my mouth of the taste of this 'coffee'. Do you know if they have warning labels on that shit?"
His friend laughed and shook his head. "You should've held onto that! Who knows when you'll get more of that in th- ... "
There was a blinding flash of light.
The air in Karn's lungs was immediately sucked from him.
He found himself being thrown backwards out of his muddy pit with enough force to make his heels strike his back.
Searing pain shot up his left side to his chest, and what seemed to be a thousand knives driving into his body was the next sensation he became aware of. He lay on the ground, winded and in excruciating pain. Whatever it was that had hit them had robbed his ears of sound and temporarily stolen vision from his eyes. As his eye sight slowly returned and his ears began to forgive him, he rolled onto his right side to instinctively prevent blood flowing to what may be his only good lung.
Across the now fully inflamed field before his stunned eyes, thousands of adepts of both orders battled. Bodies cleaved with every conceivable type of power, explosives from traditional chemical weapons and screams from the victims. Everywhere, men beat each other to death with whatever object they could find, burned each other alive, or blew each other to pieces with all manner of unspeakable weapons.
This carnage was different somehow, though.
Karn was no stranger to battle and sudden death - but this particular one had strangeness to it. It had an air of desperation that his shocked mind wasn't able to completely grasp. There was something new about this struggle, something odd with the way either of the extreme poles of order and chaos were fighting. Through the horror of war before him, he began to sense the combinations of order and chaos from the combatants combining somehow. Slowly at first, then accelerating, as if the joining of the light and dark energies was feeding on itself to become its own entity.
This was something new, something unworldly.
His ears slowly regained a sense of the warfare raging around him and he could begin to make out the roar. This was not the roar of soldiers fighting and dying, but the roaring birth of a new kind of horror - clearly something none of them had heard before. The wall of fire and fury continued its exponential growth, traversing the field and headed straight for him. Men in its path screamed and were consumed instantly by its power, almost as if some giant cauterizing demon was cleansing the surface of the planet from the pestilence it felt to have fouled it for long enough.
The wall of death, unstoppable in its insensible rage, stormed towards him. With the last remaining energy he could possibly summon - every last single screed of it - he shielded himself as thickly as he could. Death, he felt, was merely a fraction of a second away, and with his last attempt to dilate time, if for no other reason than to observe death's approach, he thought once more of Chronos IV. He wondered if news of the manner of his death would ever even reach his father.
The wall of hell reached him.
Karn could almost feel his existence vanish in its awesome power. He was able to maintain his form just briefly, through time dilation and shielding - his two prime abilities as an order adept. Such skills were as the wind to the overwhelming force he was met with. He became unaware of color, unaware of time, unaware of anything other than his quintessence, floating somehow, almost lost amidst ... what?
'I am here, but I am not here' he felt himself contemplating, as the new universe he found himself dismembered in swam around him, devoid of substance save for his own mind. 'Is this death? Is this the end that meets all things?' he pondered. Curiously, he felt no fear. How long was he disembodied thus for?
Gradually, he began to feel this tantalizingly loose sense of existence joined by a sense of self once more - subtly, slowly. His senses not yet returned, he began to feel once again some aspect of a humanoid form. The various extremities of his body slowly rejoined and reformed - yes, he was definitely alive, but how? Unable to view or make any logical sense of his surroundings, he struggled to regain composure as fear now began to return to him. This ability to sense danger, was that a good thing? Or a warning as to what he was about to endure next?
A feeling - such as he would expect to feel if a giant vice were to crush him - enveloped his form, and with a surprisingly heavy crash, he landed on something solid. The surface was hard, yet quite moist. 'Ah shit, I've landed back in the same shit hole I left behind.' Karn cursed to himself. The self-pity did not last long, as the pain of his experience finally began to register with his mind. There did not seem to be a part of his body that was not in agony.
He screamed.
His own screams of agony were, to his surprise, met with other startled screams from nearby. Though still half blinded he could not make out who they were. Blurry but startlingly colorful images danced around his agonized form. Although confused and tormented, he attempted to force his mind to take stock of his immediate situation. Given that his skin felt like it was burnt away, words and clarity of thought escaped him and he lay there panting and exhausted. He attempted to ask for medical assistance - but the agony in his chest produced merely a bloody gurgling.
Suddenly, to his surprise - itself a combination of terror but at least the consolation that he wasn't in this place alone - some strange voices registered with his auditory cortex. He also realized that not only was he still able to physically hear these voices, but clearly his Broca's and Wernicke's areas were functioning as the voices also made sense . He must have landed somewhere nearby where he left - these voices clearly belonged to people who spoke his own language. There was something there that his limited consciousness was able to grasp - if these are humans or humanoids, what was it about the tone of their voices that didn't seem .... right somehow? If they were not indeed humans, how was it that he and they spoke the same dialect? In the back of his mind, someone laughed - even through all of the shit he'd just gone through, Coron's God damn lectures about neurology had taken root.
"What on earth is that thing?" exclaimed one very excited female voice. Karn half tried to plead for help for his injuries once more, again with futility.
The voices surrounding him merely raised more questions. Why was he considered a 'thing'? Was he that badly injured? Why did the timbre of these voices register to him as female, and why were the owners of those voices so surprised to see him?
"I ... I think somepony had better get Twilight" whispered another, in a soft voice - was there a hint of horror in that voice? Still another inquired as to how dangerous 'it might be', and whether they should send for something called the 'Royal Guards'. By this time, the pain he was experiencing was being met with nausea and fatigue, until finally - almost as a benediction - he fell unconscious. As Karn's mind drifted into the blessed hole of painlessness, the last thought occurred to him: 'Royal what?'.
Karn floated within his mind, shared with his own nightmarish memories. Flashbacks of battles fought past, interposed with his most recently experienced tragedies, battered his inner mind and vied for power with his reason. He wondered which side would prevail. His mind fought for the blissful air of clarity, and in fighting to do so, finally broke the surface of the mire and he thought he had finally regained consciousness.
In his stupor, he thought he could feel himself being lifted by .... well, something. Clearly this wasn't a human. The feeling of thick arms - for this is what he supposed the limbs lifting him could only be - carrying him gently onto what appeared to be some kind of stretcher. Flashes of conversations reached his ears and he pondered them as best he could. The medical babbling of a group of those penetrated his mind, and he suddenly realized with a certain amount of relief that he was receiving medical aid.
A voice, sounding male, interrupted his contemplation. "Have you ever seen a creature like this before, Twilight?".
'Creature?' Karn pondered groggily. 'Who or what the fuck is Twilight? Clearly they aren't a medic'.
A soft and surprised feminine voice responds. "Wow! Actually .... yes! Yes, I have! But never here like this! I've never seen one look so ill before!" He could feel his heart hammering somewhat rapidly against his chest, and was surprised he could still feel that much sensation so clearly. Wherever he was, at least somebody recognized him, or at least what he was.
'Am I as badly injured as they seem to say?', thought Karn, 'but how so?' He was clearly in a very bad way; his own pain, increasing fever, what he supposed was hysterical blindness, these things informed him of as much. Was he physically still here? Where the hell was here , anyway? Concentrating as hard as he could, he attempted to reach out - to feel the fabric of space time around him - but his adept training failed him and he was met with silence from the natural world.
The male voice again interrupted Karn's thoughts. "We need to get this thing to the Ponyville hospital, let's see if anypony there can help determine what is wrong with it."
It ? They had referred to him with the neutral pronoun before, but why? The curious juxtaposition of word parts - anyone with anypony . Was the fever he could feel cracking his bones causing his ego to crack with them? He felt himself being carried, gently but with some degree of physical strength. These strange beings with the large 'arms' (or at least such is what he assumed such appendages were) were taking him to a hospital, from what little he could understand. Attempting to crack his eyes, he was met with a blurry but certainly extremely colorful panorama. This was not Chronos IV. Almost laughing, he slowly attempted to crane his head around to view whomever or whatever was helping carry this end of the stretcher. A large, colorful blob met his vision. It must have been paying attention to him in his plight, for it noticed Karn's unseeing eyes attempting to focus.
"Whatever it is, it's awake! Can you hear me? Where did you come from? Do you feel any pain??" asked the blob. Karn attempted to mouth a response, but all he could manage was another gurgle.
In a brief moment of coherence, it occurred to him that not only was this place quiet, but there was no stench of war. Fresh, clean air met his tongue and nose. There was no stench of death, no smoke, no fire. The quiet, though - there was no tension to it, no feeling that a coiled spring was ready to be loosed. This was ..... peaceful.
He felt himself slowly falling into the abyss of unconsciousness once more. As his sense of hearing finally gave out, he caught the words of whoever was carrying the stretcher nearest his head.
"I hope we can save it".
Silence.
Non-existence.
"There are many, many, many worlds branching out at each moment you become aware of your environment and then make a choice."
― Kevin Michel
The strange creature that Pinkie Pie had stumbled across lay sleeping on the hospital bed, albeit restlessly. Twilight had seen humans like him before, but never so badly hurt. She had never set eyes on this particular person during any of her previous journeys through the portal to Canterlot High before. He was most certainly human, but he was strange. There was something subtle about his features - she assumed this judgement was due to his appearance. He had long hair and was not clean shaven - something that humans of a certain age felt obliged to do. This particular human had allowed the hair on his face to grow. He had old scars in places on his body, along with the current injuries.
She pondered whether any of her friends from Canterlot High would know who this person was? The portal to that other dimension was in Canterlot itself - given that, how did this human end up on the trail near to the entrance to the Everfree Forest? How had he become so badly injured? She felt herself torn between her intense academic interest in this subject and the many questions that begged to be asked, and the feelings of sympathy and concern over his horrific injuries.
"So ... erm, Pinkie .... precisely how did you find him?" she asked finally.
Pinkie had been uncharacteristically quiet until that moment. She had followed the paramedics back to the hospital with this human thing Twilight had kept asking about, and she had kept her friend company while Doctor Horse attempted surgery to fix at least some of the worst of the injuries. Whatever anchor chain had been responsible for controlling her verbosity broke at that point - very nearly explosively.
"I don't know, I mean he just sort of appeared and was like POW and there he was out of nowhere, and at least we had no idea what was going on, it was like when somepony gives you a really big surprise but you weren't expecting one and then they prank you and you're all like WOW and ..... ".
Twilight interrupted her friend mid-spiel. "You're saying he came out of nowhere ?"
"Yup! Fluttershy and I were outside her cottage playing with Gummy and Angel and then there was this WOOOSH and a bright light, I mean like really bright LIGHTNING and then POW there was this thing lying on the grass moaning, and we were terrified at first, but then I thought it might be hurt so I went over to see what it was and ..."
"Lightning? You're saying there was lightning , and this human just appeared there?"
"..... Human?!?" quizzed Pinkie.
"Ugh. Yes, Pinkie. They're the same creatures that live on the other side of the portal in Canterlot."
"Ooooooh HUMANS!" she exclaimed. "Well, I wouldn't say lightning, but it was as BRIGHT as lightning, like REALLY bright, brighter than fireworks, do humans have fireworks? If they don't we should like really send them some and ...."
"Pinkie! Please try to slow down and try to remember as much as you can. There was a bright light and then from out of nowhere this human appeared on the grass nearby?" she quizzed once more.
"Well, I wouldn't have said that, I would have said that it was like a flash and a bang WITH the bright lights, and then he sort of fell onto the grass and lay there moaning but ..."
"Ugh, thanks Pinkie," Twilight sighed. She at least had some information now to work with. Admittedly none of what she'd been able to glean from Pinkie had been terribly enlightening, but some information was always better than none at all. Once she was back in her library, she would have to consult her collection of texts to see if the phenomenon had been witnessed before. "Fluttershy, did you see all of this happen too?"
"Y-Yes!" the stunned Pegasus stuttered. "It was a light brighter than the sun. There was nothing really unusual at first, just this sudden, gentle crackling noise - only, it ... it grew louder, until suddenly there was .... well, this ball of lightning, and a loud banging noise! I hope we didn't do anything to hurt it?" she asked, genuine concern rising above her own fears.
The ponies conversation was interrupted by the human on the bed. He continued to moan, slowly rocking his head from side to side and muttering something under his breath that none of them could quite make out. Due to his size, the Doctor had been forced to use a heavier dose of anesthesia before commencing surgery to try and help. He had warned Twilight that he knew almost nothing about human anatomy other than what he could ascertain from x-rays. They seemed to have similar organs, albeit in odd places, but how equestrian medications would work, or indeed if they worked at all, meant that such surgery was inherently very dangerous.
The Doctor had described what he had found when this human had arrived at the hospital. "It appears to have a very severe injury to its left lung, which appeared to have collapsed. There were also several marks on the x-rays which indicate very dense debris buried under the skin in several places. I've been able to repair the damage to its lung - and I'm going to attempt to remove as much of the other debris as I can. He has numerous abrasions, lacerations, one or two avulsions. We shall try our utmost, princess, but I cannot make any guarantees!"
The human's moaning intensified.
"Oh my, the poor thing, it must be so awful!" lamented Fluttershy.
The human's eyes suddenly snapped open and he stared unseeing at the ceiling, like he was transfixed in horror by something that was not there. All three ponies gave sudden squeals. His breathing was labored after the injury to his lung, but he seemed to be trying to whisper something. Twilight carefully made her way to the side of the bed and listened a little closer, trying to make out what he was saying.
"Please be careful!" squeaked Fluttershy. Her friend acknowledged this warning with a gentle nod, and slowly leaned in closer to this human to see if she could make out what he was trying to say.
The words, even though whispered and broken, made her suddenly feel very cold and rather frightened. There was regret, pain and a disconcerting amount of dread in his tone.
"Entropy! It will kill us all. Run !" he hissed. With a painful sigh, the human slid back onto the bed and slept once more.
'This does not sound like anyone I met in Canterlot High', thought Twilight to herself. 'But if this human isn't from there - then where did he come from? What happened to him to make him so frightened? And what in Equestria did he mean by entropy killing us all??'
Interspersed with the all too brief periods of lucidity, Karn found himself grappling with the demons that had seemingly seized control of the wheel of his mind. The faces of comrades he had known would appear and reprove him over his current state of affairs, as if his agony and his recent experiences were entirely of his own doing. The apparitions would slide from the back of his mind, accusing him of being responsible for the apocalypse he supposed he had recently witnessed.
So many voices, so many faces, so many dead. Friends blown to pieces, friends cleaved in two, friends burnt alive with adeptic power on battlefields crossing so many now desolate planets. Fields of fire, mud, screams and agony. Fields filled with rotting flesh that had once been ambulatory. Now the apparitions came to him in his unconscious, their faces contorted in rage, a rage that felt personal. Time and again they would rise, like some hideously contorted revelation. All of them with the same, terrifying, angry eyes - eyes that stared at him, dagger like, seeming to cut through his mind.
He tried to explain to them that he didn't understand what had befallen him. His blurred pleas within this dank, hellish dreamscape were met with derisory laughter and taunts from his tormentors. The face of one friend he had known some seventy solar cycles ago came to him, blood flowing from what was left of his mouth and fire within those nightmarish eyes. 'WHY? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TO DIE? I SCREAMED FOR YOU! Now you scream to ME for mercy?' it roared.
'No, no, I ... I couldn't ... how could I? I couldn't reach you! I tried!' Karn whispered helplessly. The ghoulish apparition would fade again, but others would take its place. The procession of death passed his mind, an unending line of mutilated bodies rising again - they felt like witnesses at a trial. He'd done so many things, committed so many acts that he felt guilt for.
On and on the ghouls came. They knew of the things he had done, of all the horrors that had haunted his mind that he'd kept buried in the very recesses of his subconscious. His guilt now on full display, his judgement day had come. Some of the demons were of friends he had failed to save, some had partaken in the same acts he was guilty of, some of them were his victims. They all had the same eyes - those staring, mind shattering eyes.
To his horror, the appallingly mangled figure of his friend Coron violently thrust its cadaverous way through the throng of vengeful spirits, seizing Karn by the neck with what was left of the one arm it still retained. 'You bastard!' it hissed. 'You just fucking LEFT me there, didn't you? Why didn't you come back for me?' his former friend raged at him. To Karn's horror, maggots began to slither from Coron's ears as he felt that horrifically torn arm strengthen its grip on his neck. He began to choke and tried to plead for forgiveness once more, but the gruesome visitant threw back its disfigured head and roared laughing.
Suddenly jerking Karn forwards in its grip, it violently met his terrified gaze with its own. Its voice became a low, gravelly, demonic growl; an obscene mixture of a death rattle, insect calls and crepitus - 'I HAVE COME FOR YOU!' it spat. Throwing Karn backwards to arms length, a stake-like tongue shot from its mouth and drove into the left side of Karn's chest, slicing through the flesh.
With a horrified scream, Karn snapped awake. He felt an incredibly sharp pain in the left side of his chest and frantically tried to tear off the sheet he was covered with. Madly feeling across his left side, he could at least make out where a hole in his chest had recently been surgically closed. Seeing it, Karn suddenly felt the overpowering remorse of the loss of his recent friend, as he stared almost uncomprehendingly at the wound in his side.
"Whoa, there, calm down, you're okay! You're safe now!" said a somewhat authoritative voice. Karn slowly turned his head to face the owner of that voice and tried to force his eyes to focus. His eyes grudgingly gave into their owner's demands and the blurry colors before his eyes allowed him a blessed moment of clarity - his first since arriving here, wherever the hell here was.
His still shocked, increasingly feverish mind attempted to grapple with the somehow surreal concept that it found itself confronted by a pony. Not just any pony, this one was carrying some kind of stethoscope around its neck, wore a white jacket and appeared to be the source of the recent reassurance.
"Can you understand me? Do you hear me?" it asked him.
'I am facing a pony, with a medic's gear on - and it is now talking to me' he thought. Somewhere within his befuddled mind the thought came to him that he was still within the confines of the deathscape of his nightmares. No, he had to be awake - he had a certain amount of rationality of thought. He could move, so this wasn't one of the hypnopompic episodes he'd had before, and the physical pain and fever were both all too real. He stared bemusedly back at this medic, if indeed that's what it really was.
It felt like an hour passed. Whatever heinous trick his mind was playing on him, he found himself obliged to follow it. His thoughts were still hazy, and the pain ... the pain made any kind of thought difficult. He'd been under some kind of anesthesia - his having awoken from not only his nightmarish trial, but he was also recovering from whatever medications they'd given him. Words came to him but with difficulty - as if he was attempting to walk through molasses.
"I ... yes," he managed to reply, albeit foggily.
"Good! You've been quite badly hurt, I'm afraid. We've done our best to patch you up. I think you'll be fine, although you are going to have some residual pain for quite a while. These three found you in a very bad state," the pony appeared to say. The medic indicated to something on the other side of the room.
Unblinking, Karn turned his head to the left - cautiously, slowly. His eyes fixed on three other figures on the opposite side of the room. A pink pony with astonishing hair, a strangely nervous pale yellow pegasus and a purple alicorn stood there smiling back at him. Karn stared blankly at this new surprise.
"Doc? I ... I think I ... hallucinating," he whispered.
"Hallucinating?" replied the medic. "In what manner? Visually? Aurally?"
Karn turned himself back to face the equine doctor as best he could to avoid the stabbing pain in his chest to face the medic. "I ... not sure. Both ... maybe?"
"Describe to me what you're experiencing?"
"I see ... I see ponies. They talk. You ... you look like a pony. So ... so do they," he whispered, indicating with his hand across his stomach.
"Ah. I see. Well, I - forgive me, but do you happen to have a name?"
Karn slowly nodded his head, staring at what still appeared to be a talking equine. An equine who was questioning him regarding his present faculties, or rather how they were malfunctioning. "Yes," he replied, after a moment's thought. "I am Karn Rolltagen, secondary master order adept from Alsovia on Chronos IV".
"Ah. Well I had best set you straight about your present situation," the medic responded. "You are in Ponyville Hospital ..."
"... Ponyville," interrupted Karn.
"Yes, Ponyville. It seems you somehow materialized here in some strange kind of ... well, electrical explosion ... and it was at that time you were discovered ... "
"I.... materialized," confirmed Karn.
"It seems so, from the reports we have from your rescuers! It's lucky they found you when you arrived. You did sustain some very serious injuries and ..."
"Excuse me I .... materialized ?"
A look comprising a mixture of sympathy and concern seemed to cross the medic's face, if indeed that were possible for a horse. It seemed oddly persistent for what he felt was a figment of his imagination.
"Listen, I ... may I call you Karn?" inquired the medic. Karn slowly and silently nodded his approval.
'I am talking to a mirage,' he thought. He would've laughed, but the pain in his chest was too sharp.
"Okay. Karn, you sustained some serious injuries. Somehow, a sharp piece of metal pierced the left side of your chest and punctured your lung. You also had numerous other small pieces of metal embedded within you. We were able to anesthetize you well enough to extract them and re-inflate your lung. There will be a good deal of pain for a while, but I'm afraid I don't know how much pain relief to give you as your physiology is somewhat of a mystery to me, I'm afraid. We'll start you on a low dose for the pain and slowly increase the dose to a point we can ascertain as being safe."
Karn turned and stared down at the bed, letting this report sink in. Clearly he'd been hit very badly with shrapnel, possibly from whatever initial blast had killed his friends. His friends - what had happened to them? Where were they? Why on earth would his physiology be a mystery to a medic? "If ... if I ... materialized here ... did ... did anyone ... others? Any others?" he implored, hopefully.
The medic sadly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Karn, but no. As near as we can tell, you were the only one to appear here."
"My ... hallucinations."
"Karn, you need to listen to me carefully. We are not sure how you got here, but you are currently in a place called Equestria. The only one of us who has had a great deal of interaction with your species is Princess Twilight here."
Karn turned and raised his gaze slowly to the alicorn once more. It was still there - very persistent for a hallucination. It met his gaze with what would have been a reassuring smile, if not for the fact that it seemed his body had arrived in this place and left his mind behind. Ponyville ... Equestria ... he'd never heard of such places before. What was his mind trying to do to him?
"I've spent some time with humans before, but I don't think you're from the same location as those I have met," she asserted.
"Um ... you ... Twilight?"
"Well yes, that's me! May I call you Karn as well?" she asked. Karn once more nodded his ascent. "Okay, so can you tell us more about how you came to be here? What were you doing at the time?"
Karn stared blearily at the talking pony. His vision began to blur and the agony within his joints grew worse. Moaning in anguish, he lay back onto his bed. He exhaled a slow, heavy sigh.
"I was busy dying," he whispered fatalistically.
Darkness once more.
The four ponies sadly looked upon the now unconscious human resting in the hospital bed. A brief moment of silence followed, broken by Twilight.
"Doctor, he obviously wasn't hallucinating, but he clearly hasn't been to nor heard of Equestria before," she pointed out. The doctor nodded affirmatively. "Can he stay here at the hospital to recuperate under the watch of the guards? I need to inform Princess Celestia of this new information and then do some research to see if I can find any instance of this having happened before, or at least an explanation!"
"That would be fine. At any rate, given his current condition he should not be moved."
"Okay, Pinkie? Fluttershy? We need to go back to precisely where he arrived".
Pinkie commenced bouncing, but Fluttershy wasn't so keen on the idea.
"D-do we have to?" she whispered nervously. "What if it ... it happens again?"
Twilight glanced around at the now muttering Karn. "I don't think that could happen. I have a feeling something very unusual occurred, and only to the one human".
Author's Note
Still filling in for some of the prologue here. I realize at this point most of the story isn't doing a great deal beyond setting the scene, but bare with me. I am intending for this work to be several pages and have a lot of areas of the protagonists psyche I want to explore. Is it possible to make this kind of jarring change in your circumstances and be able to recover? Maybe some do?
I didn't want to go rushing into the romantic side of the story that I have planned. Recovery from what would be in this case 200 years of military trauma isn't going to repair itself with a soft bed. One dips one's hat here to the incredible men and women of the armed services, who have lived and often continue to live with the horrors they've witnessed crawling through their minds on a daily basis.
2017-04-03 POST EDIT:
I've been listening to the Berliner Philharmonic Orchestra playing Mozart's Requiem Mass whilst re-editing this. If you see the album, buy it - it is a beautiful performance. Minor changes, particularly to the dream scape sequence.
Reality's all too tenuous grip.
“A physician is not angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does he take it ill to be railed at by a man in fever. Just so should a wise man treat all mankind, as a physician does his patient, and look upon them only as sick and extravagant.”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Twilight followed Pinkie and Fluttershy to the path towards the Everfree forest, where they had first encountered Karn. A large patch of the grass was blackened and scorched from what had clearly been quite a spectacular show. The business of being so close to the Everfree forest wasn't altogether pleasing - but this was something that had to be done. At least Pinkie Pie had left behind her detective cap and magnifying glass ... this time.
"I can't sense any magical residue here," she noted. Clearly whatever had transpired here was very unique - at least for Equestria. The only things she was able detect were what her natural senses told her - the light scent of burnt grass and earth, the crunching of the curiously burned sand underhoof. "Did either of you notice anything strange happening just before Karn arrived here?"
"Whadda ya mean by strange?" asked Pinkie. "I've seen a lot of strange stuff, like that time that I loaded my party cannon with sprinkles and blew it through the front door of sugar cube corner, and Mr. Cake was drinking milk at the time and I think it came out his ears ... or his eyes? Or maybe his nose! It could have been all three, but that was strange and ... "
"Pinkie ... please try to focus! Was there anything strange that you can recall happening here, just before the human appeared? Anything at all, even if it seems a little trivial?"
Her two companions solemnly shook their heads.
"We were ... well ... I mean, just here and then ... then there was this loud crack, and that awfully bright light and then ... well, there he was!" recalled Fluttershy.
'Okay,' thought Twilight, 'clearly he arrived very much unannounced,' she mused. Nothing that she'd been able to learn here gave her any further clues as to who the human was. She approached the incinerated grass and took a closer look. There was nothing there that she wasn't already aware of - except for the fact that a few very small parts of the ground had seemed to have been melted into a glass like substance. Whatever phenomenon had brought this strange human here, it had clearly been extraordinarily powerful.
"Do you think he's going to be okay?" asked Fluttershy suddenly. "I just feel somehow responsible, I mean ... he appeared so close to where I live."
Twilight smiled at her friend and shook her head. "No, Fluttershy. Whatever caused this to happen, I am quite certain that neither you nor Pinkie had anything to do with it."
"Yeah, and we know Angel and Gummy didn't have anything to do with it!" insisted Pinkie.
Twilight turned again to look at the scorched earth she had been studying. "But I am going to get to the bottom of this and find out what did happen here!" she insisted. "Let's go and find Spike and let Princess Celestia know what little we've been able to discover so far."
Karn finally lay motionless on his gurney, his breathing steady but somewhat shallow. The medical team at Ponyville Hospital had been trying to find an adequate dose of analgesia and an anti-pyretic to help him be a little more comfortable. This had at least stopped him trembling and flaying his arms around. The amount of analgesia that it had taken to help him with pain had been quite surprising - several times the standard dose for a pony with similar injuries.
They'd attempted as many non-invasive examinations of their unusual patient as they could, without causing him unnecessary discomfort. He was clearly mammalian, an omnivore, possessed of a vascular system not unlike that of ponies. However, his biochemistry could be wildly different from theirs. He seemed to be able to breathe the same combination of gasses in the air - but who knew what any of the medications and treatments at their disposal could do to him?
In his few waking moments, he had started to become quite delusional, yelling and being combative. He would often grasp madly at his throat, tearing the sheets from the bed and in at least one instance had grappled with one of the nurses who had come to his aid. Clearly his fever had gotten worse, and if this or its underlying cause could not be addressed, the final outcome was unlikely to be a good one.
"He's being given ketoprofen at the moment. That seems to have been effective so far. I guess all we can do now is wait and monitor him closely," mused Doctor Horse. He hoped that Twilight and the others could at least shed some light as to what could have happened to him, or why he was so ill. At least in the interim they had been able to continue running cultures and performing tests to check for the presence of various anti-bodies that at least they knew of.
Twilight paced back and forth in her library, her mind churning through the information she had been able to glean thus far. Her companion Spike sat poised with a quill, waiting to dictate a message to Princess Celestia. No message had thus far been forthcoming and the sight of Twilight pacing back and forth was starting to make him seasick. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had joined her in the library.
"Twilight," Spike finally said, "did you want to - I don't know - think about what you want to actually say first? You're going to wear a hole in the floor in you keep ... "
"Dear Princess Celestia!" exclaimed Twilight. There was an audible growl from Spike, who rolled his eyes and commenced dictating the message. "The human that we found here in Equestria seems to go by the name Karn. He has sustained some awful injuries, but he has since been through surgery and is likely to recuperate," She paused to give Spike a chance to catch up. "It seems that he materialized here through what may have been an electrical storm and I have been unable to detect any trace of magic where he arrived."
Spike continued to scrawl furiously, before again pausing.
"From what he has told us, we doubt he is from the world we know of through the portal there, and he does not appear to know anything of Equestria, nor understand where he is."
"Twilight - do you think he could be dangerous? I mean, if he's not someone you've met before, who knows what he could be capable of?" questioned Spike.
Fluttershy began quivering, "Really?" she asked fearfully. "Do you really think he might be dangerous?"
The question was a pertinent one. Twilight had mulled over that possibility for some time. "I really don't know, Fluttershy," she sighed before continuing. "At the moment, we know he's too badly hurt to really get up to any trouble and there are royal guards stationed there at the hospital. He's also fairly well medicated for the pain and so he isn't exactly in a clear state of mind. I think we may have to wait and see if his injuries heal and he's able to speak with us. Spike? One last piece of information for Princess Celestia. We are unsure if he is dangerous at this stage, Princess, but I will keep a close eye on him and make sure you are informed of any further changes!"
Karn slowly stirred from his sleep. He felt sluggish and rather groggy, but at least the pain was somewhat controlled. He felt as though he was living in some kind of dream. Strange ideas floated through his mind, and he attempted to grasp each as they passed through his consciousness, but the ideas seemed to flow through his grasp. It was like trying to catch clouds with his hands. Maybe this was death? Was this what death was like?
His vision was so blurry, so confused. There were voices, now - strange voices. His exhausted, troubled mind attempted to catch any part of their conversations, to no avail. His muscles - so much pain. Each joint, each nerve in his body seemed to have been burnt with something. Had he been burnt? He could not remember. A voice came to him - whether real or a phantom of his overheated mind he could not tell.
"Rest. Rest, Karn, you're okay. You are safe. Relax and sleep."
There was something about the gentle sound of that voice that made it impossible not to oblige, and he allowed his aching body to relax, as he slowly slid back into a deep, mercifully painless sleep.
Rainbow Dash had joined her friends on the way back to Ponyville hospital. "You say that this is a human that flew in here? Did this one have wings?"
"No, Dash, this is just the one human without any wings," replied Twilight, exasperatedly. "I've told you that humans don't have any wings, remember?"
"I know, but you did say this one was different from the others! I was just askin'!"
They made their way into the hospital and around to the isolation ward where Karn was resting, under the careful watch of Nurse Redheart.
"Has there been any change? Has he been getting any better?" asked Twilight, quietly.
The nurse sighed. "No, I'm afraid not. We think we have his pain management under control, but he still has a very bad fever. He's been awake a few times, but he's obviously been very confused."
The ponies all gazed at the now sleeping human and for the moment silence prevailed - he was resting; his breathing was regular and suggested a deep sleep. Everyone in the room had questions they wanted answered, but for the moment any answers to such would simply have to wait.
Fluttershy, her natural curiosity for other creatures overcoming her fears, slowly approached him. "He looks ... peaceful" she insisted.
"Well, he has been given some strong pain relief. His fever is also causing him to be a little delusional when he is awake," explained the nurse. "He has been a lot less combative and frightened now that we've improved his medications and adjusted the doses, but he has still been known to awaken suddenly and be a little frightened."
"He's frightened? Oh my goodness, the poor thing," mused Fluttershy, looking upon his badly scratched face.
"He sure looks beaten up!" exclaimed Rainbow dash. Nurse Redhead turned and shushed her.
There was a low moan from the patient, but he did not stir from his slumber.
A voice. Another female voice broke through the curtain of his sleep. Karn slowly cracked open his eyes and stared blankly forward. He was met with the white blur of what he vaguely recalled was a ceiling. There was something else there, this time. Something yellow and pink. It was standing over him to his right. In vain he tried to recollect where he was, what was happening. His thoughts were little more than a soup. The yellow blur emitted a soft gasp. The gasp sounded female. ' Why would there be females here? Here ? Where was here ?' The blur made some remark about him being awake. 'Am I awake?' he asked himself.
Other voices intruded; there were other blurs of color. A rapid yet very soft series of words fell upon his almost uncomprehending ears. For the first time in what seemed an eternity, the briefest image of his mother fell into his mental grasp. Was this her, the yellow one? 'Mother, have you come for me?' he thought to himself. He gazed longingly at that shape with the soft female voice. A memory of his mother comforting him when he was ill as a child returned to him. He felt emotions well up inside him, emotions he had not known for many cycles.
"He's woken up!" whispered Fluttershy.
The other ponies crossed to the side of the bed.
"Do you think he can hear us?" asked Dash.
"I doubt it," whispered Redheart. "Not in his condition and with the medications we've had to give him."
"I hope he gets better. If he does, maybe we could throw him a happy getting better party? I bet he'd love that!" whispered Pinkie as loudly as she could.
"Let's just wait and see what kind of human he is, first." remonstrated Twilight.
All of their attention focused on the human in the bed as he turned slowly to Fluttershy and spoke. He spoke in soft, whispered tones.
"Mother!" he implored, in a very feint whisper - as if his throat was bone dry. "I .... sorry, mother! I .... hurt! Couldn't ... save them! Oh God, I'm so sorry!"
Fluttershy appeared shocked for a moment. Why would this human think she was his mother? He continued to gaze at her, as if imploring forgiveness for something.
"They all died!" he whispered, softly. "They are all gone - I couldn't stop them in time!"
The ponies all momentarily looked up at the stunned yellow pegasus.
"As I said, when he is awake, he's quite delusional," nurse Redhead reminded them.
Fluttershy looked down at the helpless creature before her, with its eyes and painfully dry voice pleading with her for forgiveness for reasons that were unknown to her. She began to feel compassionate for this poor creature, for the pain he must be feeling. Swallowing a sob, she tried to comfort him. "It's ... okay. It's okay .... shhhhh, you're safe now," she whispered gently. "It's over now, please sleep. Go to sleep, it's okay ... it's okay, I'm here."
Karn slowly closed his eyes, allowing himself to slide back to sleep with the soothing sound and gentle touch of Fluttershy. The touch he felt on his cheeks was unusual to him. But the voice! So gentle, so calm, so sweet. He supposed it must be his mother - for who else could it be to offer benediction for the things he'd done? "I'm sorry ... sorry ... so sorry, mother. So tired. So ... tired," he muttered, as he drifted off once more to sleep.
Fluttershy kept gently brushing his cheeks, as she felt herself tearing up. "What happened to you?" she finally whispered sadly.
"That's what we are going to get the bottom of," said Twilight, coming around the bed to gently console her friend, "but he needs to get better first."
"Do you ... I mean, would you mind if ... well, if I stayed and helped take care of him?" Fluttershy asked.
"Fluttershy, who would look after your friends at your house?" quizzed Twilight.
"Oh! Oh! I can!! I can!!!" yelped Pinkie, immediately earning a universal shush from everyone else present. "Oh ... I mean, I can?"
"Okay, Pinkie, but please be careful! Angel gets very fussy about what you feed him. I'll try and come back as often as I can to help."
Fluttershy looked down at Karn, still resting after Pinkie's excited outburst.
"I'll ask Spike to lend a hand as well," offered Twilight.
"Fluttershy, why on earth would you want to stay here with this guy for?" asked Dash.
She looked down once more at the sleeping patient. "I ... I don't know. I just feel like I should. I mean, I was there when he arrived. I just feel responsible somehow. He seemed so sad just now and I ... I guess I feel sorry for him too."
"Well, as long as the Doctors don't mind, I guess that's okay," answered Twilight, "but please let me know if anything changes, or if he says anything at all!"
Author's Note
Is this a romantic base? Or simply the ideal pony to be taking care of a hurt creature? Honestly I don't know yet. I'm interested to see where my mind takes me.
ketoprofen is an analgesia/NSAID form of a propionic acid. It's used for inflamation, fever and pain relief in humans and in vetinary science - very often in horses.
2017-04-03 POST EDIT
Removed a little of the soppyness and fixed a few minor mistakes.
“Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.”
― Aldous Huxley
Gently taking a cool wash cloth and softly wiping Karn's furrowed brow, Fluttershy wondered if this human creature would ever really be able to recover. She certainly felt her own natural concern for her human patient. As his fever had gradually become worse, his few waking moments had been quite frightening at times. He would toss his head from side to side, alternatively muttering gibberish and then suddenly yelling some of the most awful things she'd ever heard.
Wherever he was from, she was glad he wasn't there anymore - and that he hadn't seemed to have brought any others from his own world with him. Who was this 'Coron' he would occasionally plead forgiveness from? He'd mentioned the name several times. Sometimes he would softly call it in a quiet, repentant manner. The next moment he would nearly scream the name in terror. He'd mentioned other names, too, and would cry out about some of the most awful things that he seemed to have thought had happened to them. At least, she hoped the things he called out about were just that - nothing more than bad dreams, and not recollections of events that had genuinely occurred. What had this Karn done to these other humans, though, to warrant his having such terrible fever dreams about them?
She had taken some time today to meet with Pinkie and to make sure her animal friends were all doing well. Perhaps more so to check on Pinkie and to make sure she hadn't been being quite as crazy as she normally was. It appeared that Angel had been more or less able to keep a rein on Pinkie, rather than the other way around. In her mind's eye, she saw her friend trying to help the beavers with repairs to their dams and allowed herself a quiet giggle. Doubtless it would involve musical instruments, items of furniture or quite probably cupcakes. Balloons would of course have featured in there somewhere. She had made a point to tell Pinkie that she was not to bring her party cannon to the house, as the small animals living there would be ...
Her thoughts were abruptly broken off as she noticed her patient moving.
Karn's hands grasped reflexively at the sheet covering him.
Fluttershy had seen him like this several times - it must be another of those awful nightmares that he seemed to have during moments when he should've been resting. Despite the best attempts of Doctor Horse, they had still not found a particularly efficacious dosage of antipyretics to ease his sleep. At least for now his pain management seemed to be under control. The next stop was something stronger to try and induce a very heavy sleep, something Doctor Horse referred to rather frighteningly as an 'induced coma'. She wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it didn't sound very nice.
She felt a sense of hopelessness, being unable to do anything more than cool his face and neck, whilst just observing his panicked behavior as the demons possessing his sleeping world obviously tortured him. "Oh my goodness, you poor thing," she whispered, "I wish I could do something to make you feel safe."
Reaching down to his face with her hoof, she gently soothed the side of his face. "There, there ... it's okay."
Karn's eyes flew open, the remnants of the fears from his nightmare still apparent in his expression. Panting wildly, his eyes darted around the room, unsure of where he was or what was happening until their gaze fell upon the gentle pegasus standing next to his bed. "Shhhhhhhhh" it coed, as it gently wiped his face with a cool wash cloth. The combination of the cooling touch of the cloth against his overheated skin, with the calm, almost angelic voice of his bedside companion passed through him. "It's okay, it was just a bad dream ... " the creature continued. "You're safe now ... rest ... rest ... "
There was such genuine concern in that voice. It was soft, caring and kind - things he had not experienced in such a long time. Vague memories came to him of past injuries, past battles, where medical care had essentially been perfunctory and urgent. This hallucination, for such was what he believed he was somehow still beholding, was truly heaven sent. The concern in its voice was genuine, the look of worry apparent in its astonishingly bright eyes was heart felt.
He tried to force his mouth to vocalize his gratitude. "Oh God. Thank ... you," he whispered. How could a mirage curl ones sanity in this fashion, through nothing more than ... what? Compassion?
Fluttershy felt her heart aching for the poor human who lay before her. He was in pain and suffering in ways she could not possibly hope to imagine. At least he was able to speak a little, maybe that was a good sign? Gently wiping his face once more, she managed a gentle smile for him while attempting to help him relax enough to get some more sleep - or indeed any sleep at all. "Shhhh ... it's okay now, you're safe. You're welcome ... you're in good hooves, please relax ... everything's going to be okay ... "
Karn slowly closed his eyes and let the sound of his caregiver's voice echo in his mind. He let his breathing slow and attempted to allow his taught, agonized muscles to relax. How could anyone or anything be so kind to somebody they clearly didn't even know? The pegasus gently shushed him once more, and with that lovely, almost magical voice easing his troubled mind, he slowly slid back to sleep.
Fluttershy, still gentling cooling him off, was relieved that her patient was now insensible once more to her presence. "Sleep now, " she sniffed, "I'm here."
Since the news of the arrival of a stranger to Ponyville had spread, it had become difficult to stop the wheels of the gossip mill turning. Generally, most ponies were curious to know what this 'human' thing was and what it was doing here. Some wondered if it was a potential threat, still others thought that having something new around town might actually prove to be exciting - certainly Pinkie Pie thought so. Some more sensible voices such as the Mayor's, Twilight's and Applejack's had managed to prevail though, and for now peace still reined.
Twilight had been summoned to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia herself, to discuss what she had been able to find out. Unfortunately, at this stage it wasn't a great deal.
"Well, as I wrote to you, we do know that magic wasn't involved. He is definitely the same physically as the other humans I've encountered at Canterlot High, through the portal. However, he's different - he seems almost traumatized somehow. It's almost as if he's been through some kind of horrific experience and that is what's brought him here. He did make some sort of sense at first - well, I mean he said he say ponies and that he must be hallucinating - but then he got sicker. His fever started to get higher and since then ... "
Twilight paused mid-sentence for a moment, unsure of how to describe what had happened since then.
"Please, go on, Twilight. What has changed since his physical condition has deteriorated?"
"Well, for one thing, he thought Fluttershy was his mother . That's strange enough, really, but later he started ... well, talking in his sleep a little. I mean, most of that is just muttering and nobody can make it out, but occasionally he ... well, he seems to be asking to be forgiven for something. Nopony has been able to make out what that could be. He certainly hasn't threatened anypony or appeared dangerous and aggressive. He just ... well, he just seems upset and keeps trying to ask to be forgiven!"
Princess Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, taking in what her faithful student had been able to tell her. "I think it would be best for the moment if he is kept under guard - not just for our protection, but also for his. We still do not know if any others like him arrived at the same time. What else have you been able to learn about this human?"
"What he was clothed in was unusual too - that struck me the first time I saw him there near the Everfree forest. Most of the humans I knew at Canterlot High were clothed in colorful, fairly regular types of clothing, somewhat like we would expect here. This human was wearing some very unusual clothing and carrying various strange items that were hooked onto straps. Some of these items appear to be general cooking utensils and such, some of them were obviously medical - I've been testing some of the medications I suspect he was carrying in my lab - but .... there was this one item that I thought only you should see."
Twilight levitated a long, wooden box up onto the table between her and the Princess, and carefully opened it. "It was there where he arrived, but when the paramedics picked it up I asked to take charge of it, because it seems different. It's not like anything I've really seen before!"
The two viewed the contents of the box carefully. Inside, it contained a long, metal object which was quite clearly of complicated and exacting manufacture. It was approximately 40 inches in length and appeared to consist of a large, mechanical body at one end, holding a long, round tube that extended from this portion of the machine to the end of the box. The machine end of the box had clear windows that lit up, and affixed to the top of it was a long tube with glass. The tube appeared to look and function just like a telescope, apart from markings within the glass to work as some kind of identification. The machine appeared to be badly stained and quite old, with knocks and scratches and dents in odd locations - a few minor spots of rust indicated it had seen some exposure to water, yet traces of oil on parts of the machine seemed to indicate this human had attempted to take some care with this ... whatever it was.
Princess Celestia carefully sensed it for the presence of magic, but there again appeared to be no residual traces of magic, or any magical source contained within this 'machine'. It however give all the impression of being some kind of possible weapon, though how precisely one would use such a thing was not obvious.
"Thank you for bring this to us, Twilight," she finally spoke, "I cannot determine why, but I suspect we need to keep this here, locked away for the moment until this human is well enough to able to explain its operation and what it does in more detail."
Twilight nodded her sage approval, glad that the princess had again seemed satisfied with her work.
"For now, we need you to return to Ponyville and keep a close eye on this human. I am happy for you to temporarily put aside your friendship studies in order to continue study on this human and whatever other items he has brought with him."
Two more days passed, during which time the medical staff at least seemed to get a better grasp of the human's physiology and arrive at doses of medications that seemed to offer him the best help. Besides their best efforts, they had not been able to definitively find anything to help combat whatever illness he had - which mercifully had not appeared to cross species, either.
At least the anti-pyretic seemed to be working. Karn had somewhat regained consciousness enough a few times to become aware of his surroundings, which still appeared to be confusing and contorted to him. Fluttershy had once more been keeping a gentle bedside vigil when she could find time to. She'd taken to gently waking him when he seemed to be having his regular nightmares.
Twilight's research into what she supposed were medical supplies that Karn had been carrying had thus far not been very conclusive. At least one large container appeared to contain what was quite clearly an opiate substance, but the others were still something of a mystery.
"Spike ... whatever is in these other containers, I think it must be somehow related to ... well, war."
"War? What makes you say that?"
"Well, it's a combination of things. What he was wearing when we found him, the strange clothes his wearing - they look like some sort of uniform, like the royal guards would wear, only not armored. Given that he was obviously carrying pain killers and a lot of materials for dressing injuries, combined with the way he was dressed, I'm pretty sure of two things. Firstly, that he was most likely a guard or a soldier. Secondly, that these other chemicals we found are probably used for healing or treating injuries to stop them getting infected."
"Well, if you think he was a soldier, do you think it's really safe for anyone to be near him? I mean, the royal guards are there keeping a watch all the time, but do you think it's really a good idea for him to be there with ... well, Fluttershy, for one! She's nearly always there!"
"Spike, I think you may be right. We need to head over there now and at least make sure that she's warned. I don't think any pony should be alone with this person at any time, until he is well enough to speak for himself."
The ceaseless roar of weapons battered Karn's ears, as he desperately tried to get the attention of the ghosts of his former comrades. They seemed strangely unaware of his being there. The scene was vivid, stark and painfully familiar. Adepts charging through the fire, wielding weapons of energy or steel, butchering each other in the open air. Screams kissed the sky - the same screams he'd heard so many times before.
On they continued, impervious to his pleas.
He could see it happening again - see that strange, unusual, inexplicable combination of energies thrown from both chaos and order, see them combining in a way none of them had prepared for nor know could happen. The fluctuation exploded forth, slowly rising and spreading outward, consuming everything in its path.
"Listen to me! You need to stop! YOU NEED TO STOP! " he yelled, to nobody in particular.
The adepts around him, white hot streams of energy emerging sword-like from their hands, continued their relentless fight as the anomaly grew in size. It was almost as if it was feeding on his terror. Men caught near the edge of this perfect storm gave blood curdling shrieks as they were incinerated, silenced only once their cremated remains blew to the winds. Even so, other adepts engaged in combat seemed oblivious to this pulsing, growing entity - and it kept consuming.
"God dammit! LISTEN TO ME! It will destroy all of us! YOU HAVE TO STOP! PLEASE LISTEN! " he cried in vain.
The thing began to hasten its growth and sped carnivore-like in his direction. There was nothing to stop its inevitable arrival now. It hastened its speed, as if it somehow desired to end his pain through obliteration.
"Oh Christ, please, not again!"
The wall of bone-white fire reached him and he felt his flesh beginning to crackle and boil beneath its awesome power. He threw his head back and closed his eyes. The light still burned through his eyelids, and seemingly seared his brain.
Drawing on what strength the hideous thing had left him, he screamed with an agony he had not yet known.
"MAKE IT STOP!"
Karn bolted upright in his bed, screaming in terror. For a moment in the dark, he sat panting and shaking, he stared with a mixture of apprehension and relief at what appeared to be a dimly lit hospital room. The relative silence of the scene was deafening. The sound of his flesh cooking still echoed within recent memory, yet his ears spoke to him only of monitors, the clanking of metal on tiles from whatever was near his doorway, and the rasping agony of his rapid breathing.
His mouth felt dry and he could feel the wounds on his chest all too clearly. It felt like he was still on fire. He reached across with a shaking hand and felt his shoulder. His skin felt hot and dry to the touch, but there was no fire. He regained some composure, courtesy of the little lucidity he had.
"Why wouldn't they listen? Couldn't they see it?" he moaned.
His gaze shifted towards the doorway on one side of the room. Two ponies who seemed to be wearing armor had leveled spears at him.
He was still seeing ponies. To his surprise, he didn't find himself caring, anymore.
"Why ... couldn't I get them to stop?" he whispered.
A small, frightened squeak from the other side of the room caught his attention. He turned his head to try and locate its source.
There, pinned back again the wall, was a pony he seemed to recall. The one who had been there whenever he'd had his nightmares before. This most recent descent into hell had been particularly vivid in his mind. This yellow pony with the pink hair whom he had seemed to remember seeing, now seemed to be frightened of him. She was trembling and her eyes were fixed directly on him, almost as if she expected him to ... what?
He frowned at her a little, in confusion. Why would she be frightened of him?
The only source of relief in the ocean of pain and illness he'd been experiencing, was what he'd received from this very kind 'pony'. Yet now, after the worst of the dreams he'd had since being there, even that mirage now seemed unwilling to be anywhere near him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean ... to scare you. I'm sorry!"
He slowly lay back onto the bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. He suddenly felt completely alone and trapped in some kind of faux reality, one that had been engineered solely to inflict pain. Unsure if he was insane, going insane - perhaps even dead - he felt the sour taste of fear creeping into his mind, alongside the loneliness he now felt at having apparently scared off the one creature in this 'place' that had offered him any help.
Unable to endure the pain and this horrible Mobius strip governing his feeling of being alone, he finally gave in to tears; slowly at first, then rising to a river. Speaking in a light whisper, yet to nobody in particular, he continued to stare at the ceiling.
"I didn't mean to scare anyone."
He closed his eyes and thought back on his friends - suspecting now that they were all dead - and let his tears flow onto the pillow. He continued mindlessly pleading for forgiveness, but now with a sense of futility. He felt certain that whatever had happened to him, that anyone or anything else in the path of that horror was gone. Any possible chance of redemption had flown from him, leaving him isolated and abandoned.
"I didn't mean to scare you ... I just ... these dreams ..." he sobbed, again to little more than the air around him, sure now that there was nobody who cared, and certainly nobody who understand who he was.
He felt broken alike in body and spirit.
Isolated. Abandoned. Alone.
Fluttershy was familiar with this human seeming to have troubling nightmares all the time. So when he started to slowly toss and turn and mutter in his sleep, she wasn't particularly surprised.
By the time she rose from her resting place and approached his bed though, it was apparent that this time was different. His awkward tossing became more aggravated, almost desperate - and his mutterings became clearer and a good deal louder. This time his nightmares seemed a good deal more intense.
Finally, thrashing wildly with his hands, he tore the sheet off his bed and quite suddenly leapt forward, screaming in a way she had never heard another creature do so before.
Suddenly frightened and unsure of what Karn was doing, Fluttershy leapt backwards and found herself standing against the wall behind her, as far away from the human as she could get. She could feel her heart leaping in her chest. Whatever he had been dreaming about, it had obviously been one of the worst episodes he'd had - at least since she had taken to keeping an eye on him.
With the sudden outburst, the royal guards stationed outside the hospital room door had burst in, spears at the ready, their attention fixed onto this human.
Silently, Fluttershy felt herself hoping that he would not notice her there. For now he seemed not to, as he turned to face the guards. He appeared to ask them why he'd been unable to stop something from happening. 'Please don't notice that I'm here!' she thought anxiously to herself ... to her further despair, she involuntarily gave off a muffled squeak. 'Oh my goodness ... did ... did her hear me?' she thought to herself.
It seemed he had, as he turned his face towards hers, and his eyes suddenly met hers across the dimly lit room. It felt like her heart was going to end up in her throat now. What was he going to do to her? For what felt like an eternity, he lay there staring at her, before finally - to her surprise - apologizing.
He continued to tell her he was sorry and that he hadn't meant to scare her. This was the first time since that day they brought him into the hospital that he'd been able to recognize anypony or anything - and now here he was, seemingly aware of her being there, and that he'd obviously scared her quite silly.
As she mused over this new realization, the human turned away from her, lay slowly back onto his bed and to compound her surprise he silently began crying. At first, continuing to ask for forgiveness, before finally telling her that he was 'scared'. It now made some sort of sense to her. He'd obviously woken from a particularly bad dream, and now he was ...
"I'm so alone", he cried quietly, his eyes now shut.
Fluttershy, her nerves somewhat recovered, slowly walked to his side. Gently taking the wash cloth she had been using to help cool him, she slowly reached out and gently wiped it across his fevered brow. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. There was no anger or danger in those eyes - just fear, and now loneliness.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his sad eyes looking into hers. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Fluttershy gently wiped the tears from Karn's face. "I know - it was just a bad dream," she quietly cooed to him. "It's over now."
"These dreams ..."
The fear in his voice and the regret for having startled her made her heart ache. "Your nightmare is over, I'm here ... it's okay," she stammered. "I know you didn't mean to scare me. Please rest now, you're safe."
Gently lifting his head in her hooves, she cradled him against her chest. Karn, overcome with so many emotions, gently buried his face into Fluttershy's soft fur and cried as hard as his still aching ribs let him. She found herself very quietly humming a lullaby - which felt silly and awkward somehow to do, but it was the first instinct she had. He seemed so much like a frightened foal.
If this sensation of kindness and genuine concern was nothing more than an hallucination in his befuddled mind, Karn was certainly past caring.
Snuggling his face gently into this strange pony's fur, he let a hundred solar cycles of pent up sadness go - and as the soft, calming tones of her voice caressed his ears, Karn cried as if his chest would break.
Wherever the hell he was - if indeed he wasn't in hell itself - he was beyond caring.
Author's Note
I'm largely riffing some of this and finding that I'm largely writing the story for my own enjoyment - something I've not done in around 25 years.
I think a good part of this story is very much a salute to the nurses and those who care for sick family members. As much as medication and SOPs can do, there's always the consideration of the gentle healing touch and understanding that cannot possibly be quantified. God bless all of you - wherever you are!
POST EDITS 2017-03-11
Hopefully this version isn't quite so sugary as the previous one. I tried to tidy the dialog, add a little more description and expand on who he is here.
Knowing when to fight and when not to.
“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
A few more days had passed since the night Karn had experienced the worst of his nightmares. To the medical curiosity of the staff at Ponyville Hospital, his condition seemed to improve tremendously after the night the guards had been forced to enter the room. He had at least been able to rest peacefully - with almost no sign of the horrific visions that had been plaguing his few sleeping hours.
Precisely what had happened that night was a mystery. Whatever had actually transpired, after spending a good quarter of an hour being comforted by Fluttershy, he'd finally slid off into a deep sleep. Aside from the additional rest the patient was getting, his fever also finally broke. As a side effect of the greater rest and genuinely reinvigorating sleep, he had also started to become a good deal more lucid.
Lucidity was not necessarily all that he had envisaged it being.
He'd seen many instances where the wounded had recovered from wounds that were nearly mortal. The victims had however awoken to friends and the realization that for the time being their existence and self awareness were likely to continue. They'd had the relief of discovering they were within a world that made sense to them, or at least did to a degree. As their comprehension returned, they'd returned to a place where at least those caring for them were the same species. Lucidity for Karn had not proven to be quite so much of a happy homecoming.
It felt as if he had attempted to walk through a revolving door, been slammed repeatedly in the head by the mechanism, then thrown blindly out the other side to discover he was still in the full and confusing grip of a psychosis. It felt that his id was now cemented in a world that was still impossible for the rest of him to comprehend. Those first few days had been the one protracted game of 'questions'. Where was he, who were these mysterious ponies, was he confused due to some kind of traumatic brain injury.
Ponies. Ponies that were not only sapient but exceptionally intelligent - and they were vocal. These were creatures that seemed mystical. He had still not determined that trusting his physical well being to talking horses was a sensible thing to do. Although these equines did seem to be very erudite and the medical 'staff' (if indeed a lot of brumbies called themselves such) certainly seemed to know their business, there was always the nagging logical argument in the back of his mind that he had his health now almost entirely entrusted to magical ponies.
He did admit that he felt rather attached to the one calling herself Fluttershy, for the care he hesitantly admitted she had shown him whilst he was at his worst. He had learnt from some of his other visitors that she had actually held something of a bedside vigil for him. He recalled his first day where he had finally gained enough muscular dexterity to feed himself and managed to spill a good deal of his food down the front of his shirt. To his astonishment, she had cleaned him, and then - to his still greater surprise - she had actually helped to feed him.
She had wiped the mess from his shirt, apologizing as if it had been her fault he had been so clumsy, then proceeded to raise a spoon of whatever it was the medical equines had insisted he eat to his mouth. It was a strange gesture. His logical mind told him that this made sense, since if he were to feed himself in his feeble state, he was likely to starve. It was the genuine, concerned, caring manner in which she had committed this simple act. It was at once kind, thoughtful, practical and strangely comforting - superlatives he had not had a good deal of use for over the years. In point of fact, he found himself actually stunned and involuntarily gazed up at the pink and yellow pegasus who was trying in earnest to introduce him to some manner of sustenance.
He fixed his eyes on her, incredulously, unsure of what to say. She was doing this out of pure kindness, not out of obligation - there was no NCO standing behind her, barking orders.
"You should eat this. It's not the nicest tasting food, but it will help," she had insisted quietly. Glancing across to him, she had noticed his eyes fixed on her, unblinking, his face showing signs of astonishment. "I'm sorry," she had whispered, turning away from his gaze. She was blushing! Did ponies blush , he wondered? Clearly this one did. He was curious to know why she seemed so nervous.
"I ... no, it's ... it's okay. I'm still tired ... Well, I'm not used to anyone caring about me like this. Please. It's okay," he had whispered to her as gently as he could. His care taker continued to blush and hide behind the most astonishing pink mane. Karn turned his attention back to the bowl of the bran like substance that the medics had insisted he eat. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare ... I just, well ..... I'm not used to anyone being so gentle," he whispered apologetically. His bed side carer slowly slid out from behind her mane and after some very quiet introductions, she had helped him consume the first food he'd had since arriving in this place.
As she was leaving, he gently called after her. "Fluttershy?" His quiet nursemaid turned to face him, somewhat nervously. "I just wanted to say thank you."
"Oh! You're welcome," she smiled, before leaving with the remainder of the meal.
Once the most awful period of the fever had passed and he began to be able to consume food again, there had been a great number of questions from the curious medical staff about what kinds of food he could recall eating from wherever he was. They had already determined that humans were omnivores, having teeth that were obviously evolved towards consuming animal products, but also for vegetable matter and other organic food stuffs. In concern for his continued improvement, they had been able to commence with what amounted to a very bland diet.
It was following a meal of a similar kind of bran cereal as Fluttershy had helped him with, mixed with with milk and a good amount of sugar, that Karn found himself lying upright in his bed. He felt exhausted but at least in better control of his faculties, 'or the few I may have left,' he thought forlornly. 'I am being fed bran cereal by ponies,' he managed a chuckle.
He thought back over the steady procession of characters who had come to pay him a visit. Sometimes, it was business - medical students, or so he gathered, come to study the 'beast'. Some higher ranking medical staff had arrived from some place they called 'Canterlot' to observe him as well. Karn had been confused but still tried to reconcile his current situation using what senses he had. He tried to be straight forward in his answers to their interminable questioning. He was obviously a curiosity to these mysterious ponies. He was a rare specimen, perhaps? He wondered if a zoo was the next stop following a full recovery. 'Wonderful - I can be parked on a tree, taking a shit, for the entire world to observe,' he thought to himself.
The other visitors aside from the plethora of medics, nurses, medical scientists (or their equestrian equivalent) performing some simple tests, there were ... well, the others. The sweet, quiet one he recognized from the worst of his experiences as being his savior was of course Fluttershy. She was just a miracle. She seemed genuinely concerned about how he was doing, and as his perception of reality improved, he felt ever more touched by her gentle attention.
Then there was the strange purple one, an alicorn he supposed - the one called 'Twilight'. That one was not part of the medical crew, but clearly had some academic interest in him. She had so many questions on so many different topics. Whenever they had conversed, the topics were wide ranging. She had a mind that appeared to be belt-fed, sharp, highly analytical, and more than once he'd had to ask her to stop and let him rest as the inquisition was causing the inside of his mind to begin screaming. Her demeanor and intellect made Karn wonder if there were games of strategy in this 'Equestria' they kept telling him he was lying within.
Then - and he sighed quietly, gazing at the remnants of the rather bland but very appreciated breakfast they had given him - the crazy one. He rocked his head gently from side to side, pondering whether that was the correct adjective, before deciding it was unfair. She wasn't insane as such, but she was clearly very excitable. She didn't seem to exhibit aphasias, word salad or looping, but she did speak at a rather incredible pace at times and on a wide range of subjects. The gentle reprobation delivered her way had informed him that her name was 'Pinkie Pie' which sorted well with her overall color. He gathered that she was indeed the party animal of the many he had met, which made a lot of sense given her bubbly and effusive manner. In some ways he enjoyed her visits immensely for the sheer hilarity, however he found himself often unable to bare those glorious moments for long without needing rest. So she was exciting yet exhausting.
Another of the frequent visitors was the 'Applejack' one. Her persona seemed very down to earth. She exhibited a strange dialect, clearly a derivative of the language they all somewhat miraculously spoke. She used colloquialism a great deal, and he would often have to politely interpose at the end of one of her sentences to query her as to their meanings. Much of this had been telling in itself - these were often exclamations that related to farming, and as this was his family's chosen business on his home planet, he felt a certain amount of hope that this was maybe something he could help with. He felt like she was the only visitor who received more questions from him, than she had asked of him. She called him 'sir' and then 'sugar cube!' He enjoyed her earthiness and straight forward thinking.
How could he forget - the fashion obsessed one. 'Rarity' he recalled being her moniker. She had been a little nervous at first, but had worked up the courage to question him about the clothing and type of material he had 'arrived' in. There wasn't a great deal he could say beyond what he had been able to tell the academically intense one. On arrival he was in standard battle dress, mostly neoprene, Kevlar, rip-stop and such as far as he knew. She appeared somewhat unimpressed with his uniform - which was that of a rather high ranking and very decorated order adept. She had offered to help him with new clothes 'more appropriate, darling!' once he was out and about from the hospital. He had expressed his thanks, which to his own surprise were heartfelt. A memory of the etiquette from his own 'home' came back to him. Offering as best a bow as his bed would allow, he offered as such to this clearly very gifted and generous artisan, he spoke as clearly as his broken ribs would allow him.
There was of course also the rather athletic one calling herself 'Rainbow Dash'. At first she had very nearly been openly hostile to him, for reasons he wasn't clear about. Using his adept senses - which had slowly been returning to him - he did not sense any direct threat from this one, but the look on her face and the tone of her voice informed him that she was deeply wary. Trying to reassure her that his only intention at this stage was to attempt to determine what had happened to him seemed to calm her a little. But her parting words one day as he lay back on his bed - 'I'll be watching you!' - told him that she would be a hard one to convince that he did in fact mean nobody any harm. He had only the basest, simplest comprehension of where he was. Given that these creatures had been prepared to bring him in and offer him all the help they could muster to save his life, it should have been obvious that they were not a threat to him.
And so he had progressed from medical curiosity, to a subject of study, to a gentle invalid, thence to being a 'sugar cube' and finally very nearly a threat.
He decided that he should keep a tight rein on his adept power and not give away any of those secrets. He wasn't sure what a demonstration of shielding, time dilation and telekinesis would do. The idea of demonstrating his ability to absorb and change forms of energy, and indeed to use that energy he stored for weapons he felt best to keep secret. Adepts were born with these extraordinary abilities. Some had moderate skill at manipulating energy, then there were others with greater proficiency. Secondary master adepts could utilize energy to move small objects or they specialized in particular areas. He had risen to the rank of a secondary master through constant practice and work on his specific competencies - manipulating time and shielding. Primary master adepts were astonishing - they were few, but exercised incredible power. Their ability to move objects through telekinesis was often used to physically tear opponents apart on the battle field, and others could incinerate enemy combatants if they ventured close enough.
The creatures he was surrounded by were very peaceful. Given that their only means to hold him here had thus far been armored ponies with spears, a show of such power may in fact find him being set upon by all and sundry. Besides, who knew what else these creatures had at their disposal? The tactically sensible thing to do would be to keep his cards close to his chest, at least until he was able to ascertain more about what had happened to him.
They seemed kind, concerned and genuinely wishing him the best for recovery. Karn hoped the rest of the inhabitants of this world were similarly minded. Sighing, he took a drink of what he was told was 'apple cider'. It was apparently something of a specialty from the pony who was running the farm. He wasn't entirely sure what kind of berry, vine or fruit an apple was, but the drink was very pleasant. Military rations generally didn't consist of much more than powdered pseudo flavors added to water. Most of Karn's friends and comrades would just boil the packets to make a kind of tea, and then make sure they consumed enough water to keep hydrated.
As his strength slowly returned, he felt a new found determination to find out what was happening to him, why it had happened to him, and precisely where the hell he was in comparison to his own home world.
Author's Note
This is the point at which Karn is starting to slowly come to terms with the fact that something astounding has happened. I suspect he does not feel that he has "died" but that something related to the experiences he had on his own world are very much tied to why he is where he is now.
On a side note, there almost appear to be a few puns interspersed through the text - this was NOT intentional.
AFTER EDIT 2017-03-20
I tried to expand a little here on what adepts are and how they fit into the picture. There wasn't quite so much cruft to clean up and it wasn't too sugary.
“Explaining one's recent loss as more of a continuous journey rather than a dead end, giving one of the invaluable opportunity to gain strength and learn about oneself, and thereby turning this terribly tragic affair into something hugely positive.”
"You really shouldn't be so stubborn. Celestia knows what on earth could've happened to you if any of the guards had caught you roaming around like that!"
Twilight had apparently been on her way to pester Karn with her usual unending, creeping barrage of questions at the same time that he'd attempted to actually make some use of his legs. Evidently getting his arse off the God forsaken mattress his inclement health had chained him to equated to 'roaming'. He had in fact walked stiltedly back and forth across the room when she burst in. If there was something she quite clearly didn't know about yet, it was that after so many years of training and fighting, any kind of sudden motion or noise as that was going to trigger an immediate response. Instinctively, he'd spun and whilst his reflexes were indeed still there and working exceptionally well, tragically the atrophied muscles of his legs and hips had not.
Collapsing to the floor in a fashion that must have looked for all the world like a drunken rag doll, Twilight shrieked and ran to his assistance. To add to his embarrassment, he was once again accosted by the spear wielding guards and of course the usual hospital staff.
"Look! I was simply trying to get out of bed and move my legs! I wasn't roaming anywhere other than the eighteen or so feet provided to me here in my room!" he growled. The guards moved menacingly closer. The briefest moment passed, during which Karn looked up at his inquisitor. She seemed genuinely upset by his angry outburst, and knowing this left him feeling guilty. 'So now I have guilt to compound the agony in my legs' he sighed to himself.
He took a few breaths and allowed his selfish train of thought to leave him. "Look - I'm sorry, Twilight. I just wanted to get up and start moving around a little, get used to being active again and stretch my legs. I can't lay in a bed forever. I'm sorry I lost my temper with you, I understand you mean well but ... I really need to be getting more active before my legs waste away any further."
His apology and explanation seemed to soothe things over - with Twilight at least. These guards of hers, or he at least assumed they were hers, weren't taking any chances. It wasn't until Twilight assured them that things were okay that they returned reluctantly to their guard duties outside his room.
Twilight slowly helped him to his feet, and he shuffled back to the side of his bed. Seating himself down, he allowed himself to catch his breath. His rescuer glared at him, clearly upset that he'd been up and around against what seemed to be the advice of the Doctors. Karn recalled having a bullet strike his left scapula, twist and exit through his left clavicle and aside from having a useless left arm for a while and miraculously not bleeding to death, he was expected to be back on the line in no more than a week. Clearly things were somewhat different in this universe within which he found himself.
"Twilight, I'm sorry about my roaming antics. It's just starting to drive me crazy, this business of being stuck ... well, here," he exclaimed, raising his arms to indicate the four walls within which he had been confined. "Can I ask how long I've been here now?"
"You arrived in Equestria about a month ago. Most of that time you've been extremely ill, it's only been recently you've been coherent and able to interact with us."
Karn allowed the concept of a month to roll around in his head. It seemed odd that there were many things that this place shared in common with his own, yet so much was different. Like the fact he was making idle chit chat with an alicorn in his own language, inside a hospital run by ponies of various colors, under the watchful eyes of guards armed with spears. Then of course this business of 'magic' which had been touched on. Clearly this was not in any way an adeptic skill, but the few times he had witnessed it impressed him. He wanted to play his adept abilities closer to his chest for now. If anything, there would be fewer questions from Twilight, Rainbow Dash would be less likely to be standoffish and of course Fluttershy less afraid of him.
He closed his eyes and gave a sigh. "Well, what is it you've come to inquire after today? I'm sorry I'm not too talkative, it's just that between the brass band bashing away at the inside of my skull and the thumping that gravity so recently delivered to my goodly person, I'm not altogether myself."
Twilight raised an eyebrow at him. "Brass band?"
"It's an old saying where I'm from. Do you have musical instruments in this world of yours?"
"Well, yes we do, but why would you be listening to ..."
"Nothing, it's just a figure of speech, Twilight. My head just hurts like hell. So, you know. A brass band, lots of noise, confined space ... " Karn rolled his hands around to demonstrate the degree of cerebral confusion and pain that such would suggest. Twilight finally got the reference.
"Ah, I think I understand," she smiled.
In many ways, Karn found himself enjoying these moments with Twilight. She could be very exhausting and could often fire off several questions compounded into the one sentence. At one point, he even laughed and asked if she could borrow a full stop from one of her friends. It had taken some time to explain that half-hearted joke, too. She was exceptionally bright though, very logical, very nearly pedantic sometimes. Her grasp of science and mathematics and natural philosophy did appeal to his own nature. Aside from the headaches, difficulty dealing with eight subjects in single sentences and getting around the differences in scientific nomenclature, he found himself enjoying her visits quite a lot. 'Baby steps, Karn,' he thought to himself ... 'Christ, was I ever a baby?'
"At any rate, princess, you are now aware that I am clumsy. I may also have developed a disagreement with gravity. What may I help you with this incident filled morning?" he inquired, as melodramatically as possible.
"This might seem to be a bit of an odd question to ask you, Karn, but ... "
"Oh princess, I live to hear your odd questions. Come! Give me your best shot."
The exasperated look on Twilight's face remained unchanged. He called it 'giving me the look'. She was oddly pretty when she looked at him thus.
"Karn, I have a feeling you may have been a soldier of some kind where you are from?"
The mention of the word 'soldier' hit Karn with near physical force. Its effect was electric. His body's sympathetic system quite suddenly ratcheted up a gear. Momentary flashes of decapitating chaos adepts with blades of pure energy from his hands crashed through his mind, flashes of bodies torn apart with power, the stench of cadaverine and putrecine suddenly blew into his memory with full violence. The unexpected horror of his visions thrust themselves fist-like into his stomach.
Flinching forward on the side of the bed, he vomited explosively over the tile floor.
"OH MY GOODNESS! NURSE, WE NEED HELP! NOW, PLEASE!" called Twilight, somewhere in the back of Karn's mind.
When the sudden flashbacks ceased and he regained enough control of his senses to open his eyes, he found himself staring at his own filth spread across the floor next to his bed. He also realized with a shock that he was cold, clammy and shaking. Nurse Redheart and Twilight were at his sides, helping to steady him somewhat. He felt unable to form words for a moment and just tried to catch his breath. Someone offered him a glass of cold water, which he sipped at to get the taste of vomit from his mouth and settle his cramping stomach. Doctor Horse - whom Karn had chosen to nickname 'The Good Doctor' - had offered him something he assumed was an anti-emetic.
Twilight wondered why such a straight forward question would've caused such an acute reaction?
Once he'd finished searching for and located his composure, he slowly turned to Twilight. The look of curiosity had been replaced by one of worry this time.
"Well", he managed finally, "... yes. You could say I was. Nurse, I ... ", he started. Unable to find the right words, he shook his head and tried to apologize once more. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea I would be that sick."
"It's okay now, but please remain in bed until you are feeling steady!" she insisted.
Somewhat chastised, Karn nodded his acquiescence and turned back to face his royal visitor. "You're going to tell me that you told me so, aren't you?" The princess just frowned at him. "... weren't you? I can see the very words sitting on your lips. If you are going to question me, allow me the privilege of throwing a query your way now and then," he joked. The attempt at dry humor rolled off her like water. He wondered if such composure took a great deal of practice, or if she was naturally this way. "Well, you were, weren't you? You certainly weren't going to complement me on my appearance and how my health has improved! Nor chasten me over the poor standard of my boots!" Gesturing theatrically to the air at the foot of his bed, Karn continued. "Officer Commanding this court-martial, I direct the witness to answer the question and ... "
"Karn, why were so sick when I asked if you were ... well ... you know ... "
The silliness Karn showed vanished. "A soldier."
"Well ... yes," she stammered. Was that a flinch from her that he had detected? He was sure it was. Interesting.
"Twilight, you don't need to be quite so nervous about mentioning that now . It's difficult to explain, but well ... when you just came out of nowhere with that question, it brought up a lot of old baggage that I endured where I'm from."
"I don't understand. You carried baggage?" she asked, as she tilted her head very slightly. It was another gesture that Karn found pretty about her. Why would he think that a pony was 'pretty'? He actually found her pretty and yet she was a pony for fuck's sake. He shook off his sidetracked train of thought and sighed.
"It's just another figure of speech, princess. I meant that there's a lot of my history still fighting away in my mind. I still don't know a great deal about your world or what your customs are, and I don't know that I'm ready to share what I went through before I arrived ... well, here. I'm not entirely sure what role a soldier fills in your world, but in mine ... " Karn stopped mid sentence and stared off into the distance.
Twilight could see that there were thoughts on his mind that horrified him, or at least things he was unwilling to share.
When he finally continued, there was the very faint sign of a tears in his eyes. "Twilight ... I've done an awful lot of things in the name of 'good' and 'order' that I am not proud of. I guess I'm a soldier, but more specifically I am what you would call a secondary master order adept. I have been so for a very long time," he stated. He squinted his eyes at her quizzically. "I am still not entirely sure how you measure time here."
"We measure time in 'years', here. A year is the time it takes for our world to revolve around our sun. The difference between one planetary rotation and the next is considered a 'day' and there are approximately three hundred and sixty five of those days in a year."
Karn nodded. "Well, we measure time based on the revolutions of my home world around its 'sun' or 'star' too. There are approximately 350 rotations per 'year', and we call that a cycle. Since we travel from one star system to the next, for the sake of consistency we always measure time by our home configuration," he reported. He could see Twilight noting down these details in that notebook of hers. He was half convinced she was born with the thing. "Twilight, I'm approximately two hundred and fifty cycles old."
Twilight almost dropped her notebook and her wide eyes stared at him. "But. ... but that's ... two hundred and fifty years old!"
"Well, if you like. Yes, I'm about two hundred and fifty 'years' old," he agreed. His philosophical equine friend remained staring at him with those dish pan eyes. He didn't wait to find out if the look was permanent or not. "It was determined that I had adept powers at the age of four, and since then ... well, I've been training to be a 'soldier' if you like. I attained my basic rank and entered combat when I was twenty one, and I have been fighting for order ever since. Well, at least until I got here."
Twilight regained her composure, cleared her throat and returned to writing furiously in her notebook. "So ... you've been fighting now for ... wow," she observed. Karn found himself worried that this realization may actually harm what friendship he had with this pony. "I guess I can see why you reacted the way you did when I ... well, mentioned that you might be ... um, I'm sorry, Karn, I didn't mean to startle you like that. I had no idea."
Karn managed a weak smile. "It's okay, Twilight. How on earth would you have known?"
"This whole thing about being an adept that you keep mentioning. Can you tell me more about that? Does that have anything to do with what you arrived with?"
Karn caught his breath. His smile vanished immediately and he found himself staring very strongly at her.
".... what I arrived with??" he asked firmly.
There was a hint of danger in the tone he asked with, which caught Twilight very much off guard. His voice was suddenly monotone, measured and insistent. Almost as if she had crossed a boundary of some kind. "Well , I mean the medical supplies, or at least I think that's what they are, you um, were carrying something that was a strong pain reliever and some other chemicals, bandages, sutures and such."
Karn stared at her. The look of danger below his visage was still very much there.
"Twilight ... you're not telling me everything, are you."
"I, well ... um ... "
Karn learned ever so slightly further towards Twilight, his eyes remaining fixed on hers. It was almost as if he was measuring her, or - and the thought was troubling to her - analyzing her.
"Twilight ... medical supplies are not all you found, were they."
"I ... well, I ... "
"Twilight, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Where I'm from, we 'soldiers' carry very dangerous weapons. Your friends out there ... " he started as he motioned at the door with his thumb, "... are armed with spears. Trust me when I tell you that some of the equipment I carried can be deadly enough to make those things look like fence posts. For your safety, for my safety, for the sake of every pony around this ... this place , please tell me ... what else did you find?"
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence while the princess looked wide eyed upon this Jeckle-like character that she had discovered so suddenly. Karn remained perfectly still, almost as if he was wound up like a clock. He gave every impression that he could erupt at any moment, and that when he did the speed and force, even in in his semi-incapacitated state, would be too much for her to contain.
Karn, noticing the look of pensive fear that had overcome Twilight, decided that she had obviously meant no harm. He visibly relaxed and commenced the slow breathing again, and that horrible look in his eye directed her way slowly subsided. Closing his eyes and allowing himself a particularly deep breath, he relaxed back onto the bed a little.
"Oh shit, Twilight. I'm so sorry. I've been involved in all kinds of activities that I don't want to have to describe to you right now, and when you mentioned anything that I may have brought with me when I arrived, I guess I kind of overreacted."
"Oh Karn, I'm sorry if I keep making you so upset, but ... the thing is, we still don't know a great deal about you. We just don't know you well enough to, well, trust you. We don't know what you could do at any moment and you're obviously still very traumatized."
Karn allowed a small, simple smile for his interrogator. 'Interrogator' he thought. The term here had slowly seemed to take on an almost kindly meaning. Where had had come from, it meant machines of pain, agony, often the removal of body parts to obtain information. He much preferred this pony's methods to the ones he had witnessed, and to his horror had participated in.
"Karn, the kingdom of Equestria is ruled by a princess. Princess Celestia, in fact, and ..."
"Ah, so your earlier exclamation directed at my floor bound person 'Celestia's sake' was related to her?"
"Yes, the one and the same."
"Out of curiosity, do you often use the name of your nobility in such a manner?"
"Well, I hadn't thought of that. Who is this 'shit' you keep referring to? Was that one of the people in charge where you're from?"
Karn guffawed to himself. Whilst the observation was not true, it could very well have been a fitting metaphor for a few legates he served under. "Oh, well, it's a profane exclamation, Twilight. I apologize for using it, but after a few hundred cycles, it becomes force of habit."
"I see," she muttered, accompanied by more scribbling in her notebook. "Does that also apply to 'fuck', 'Jesus' and 'God dammit' as well?"
Hearing her vocalizing the profanities made Karn cringe a little. "Well, yes, indeed it does. Please, I know I have a problem and habit of using such words, but ... it just sounds very wrong coming from you," he ventured, as he found himself wincing with each mention. He really didn't want to go introducing these otherwise pleasant ponies to these kinds of profane exclamations. Especially 'pretty' ones. A pony raising emotions pertaining to attraction. What the hell was going on in his head?
"I see," she muttered once more. The interminable scribbling in that notebook of hers continued.
"Well, yes, Twilight. Could you do me a favor and not repeat them? Better still, please remind me as strongly as you can if I ever do use such language?"
"Karn, once you are feeling somewhat better I would like you to come and meet Princess Celestia, so we cover a lot more of your background together. The other item you brought with you when you arrived is very, very securely locked within the confines of the castle, and nopony other than Celestia, myself and of course you is aware of it's presence."
Karn was somewhat relieved at this piece of news. He was not entirely at ease, though. "Twilight, you must promise me that nobody will touch whatever it is, play with it, use any tools on it, handle it, or otherwise try to take it apart. The results could be ... well, deadly."
"You have my word!" she affirmed.
Author's Note
Just some expansion on who Karn is, and his growing connection to the world he is now in. I've thrown this chapter together overnight, and tried my best.
POST EDIT 2017-03-20
... our world to revolve around our sun.
I realize that strictly speaker, the world would be remaining motionless as Celestia raises the sun, but I wanted to tie some of these scientific aspects to our own world for the sake of the story.
Comporting oneself as a freak show.
“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.”
― Samuel Johnson
It had taken several more weeks for Karn to slowly develop enough strength back in his legs to be able to be up and around on his own. One of those little habits Adepts had that he was trying his best to conceal from his new found friends, was that he could use some of his stored power to slowly regenerate muscle tissue. Rather than accelerate this habit now that he could feel himself once more able to utilize his abilities, he felt it was safer, at least for the moment, to keep such information secure.
Given that he was now able to walk without aid and that his muscular tone had returned, the medical staff and of course the few pony friends he had met thus far were all agreed that it was time for him to be introduced to the greater world outside.
For his part, Karn wasn't so sure. His present goal was to be become more active, and to be able to make better use of his legs. As it was, he was still somewhat unsteady and the fear at the back of his mind that he would collapse outdoors and make an utter fool of himself was an every present one.
Fluttershy, Twilight and of course Rarity had all arrived this glorious morning of impending freedom to prepare him for his first visit outdoors. Naturally this was all planned without his consent, and in true military style he made sure that he was carrying out this order under protest.
"Twilight, as things stand it is hard enough to get out of bed and just make my way around the ward. What makes you think that dragging me outdoors is a flash idea?"
"Karn, all you need to is take it easy. We will be there to keep an eye on you. You can't stay cropped up in this hospital room forever. You need fresh air, you need to get out and learn more about our culture, before you lose your mind!" she exclaimed.
He started at her for a moment, unblinking. She was sense, of course, being the academic soul she was. Finally, he offered her a smirk and a gentle nod. "Okay, my ever present interlocutor. I shall make the effort. Should I fall face first onto the ground and shatter my nose, may I have the honor of stating that 'I told you so'?"
"It's not going to happen that way, Karn."
"What makes you so sure? How many humans have you caught mid-fall, saving their faces from unwanted and unwarranted destruction of their visages?"
Twilight looked at him with that adorable 'look' she so frequently gave him when he was being whimsical. Finally offering a sigh, she said "Karn, you will be fine. We'll all be keeping a close eye on you. All you need to do is take small, careful steps."
"So the rapid three yard hard single men's dash for security isn't on the cards, then?"
The infamous 'look' from Twilight grew stronger, if that was possible.
In spite of his fears, the knowledge that he would shortly be free of this room was a tantalizing one. He had in fact been able to count each tile on the floor, each hidden screw in the wall and had even been able to use the defibrillator to determine that it was biphasic - approximately one hundred and eighty joules if he has to hazard a guess. Since he was an adept can could adsorb electricity that way, having that energy punching across his chest was little more than a mild cup of coffee. Aside from the furious dressing down that nurse Snowheart had given him, he'd been just fine. He felt a certain kind of eager anticipation about being able to see what was outside this place, and this feeling brightened his mood - a curious dichotomy of worry and anticipation.
"Twilight, lest I leave this place and become despondent - there are no other curtains outdoors which can be drawn, are there?"
Twilight flashed him a crooked smile. "No, Karn. The outdoors here is not at all like this room."
"What of the composition of the ground upon which I shall shortly walk? Is it ceramic?"
Twilight seemed to be getting a little more annoyed at these strange rhetorical questions, but seemed inclined to play along whilst Rarity made final adjustments to his Karn's new clothes. Karn found himself enjoying this unconventional discorse with the princess.
"No, Karn," and the sigh she gave was rather exasperated, "the ground is still the same dirt and grass and cobble stones that I described to you previously."
"Indeed? Then I shall be better able to maintain my balance, and not force you come to come to my aid," beamed Karn, with all the artificial exuberance that he could bring to bear. He flashed a sly smile at Twilight, hoping to demonstrate that his enthusiasm was in fact genuine, silliness aside. It did take her a moment or two to relax enough and the two found themselves chortling about the entire light-hearted exchange.
"It's at least good to see you have a sense of humor, Karn - even if it is somewhat ... odd."
"I don't know that it's necessarily odd, princess. Well, perhaps some of the terms pertaining to my home world are. Otherwise, I'd have said my sense of humor was just eccentric."
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Very well, then I would insist that you are obscure!"
"Well, Princess, I have been called many things and many of those things worse than 'obscure'. If you refer to me as obscure, then I shall take it to be a compliment," he conceded. It had been so long since Karn had been able to engage in the silly, somewhat high banter that he had enjoyed annoying his companion Coron with - and it felt exquisite.
He was well aware that there was a good deal of conjecture outside the walls of his 'cell' (which he had come to refer to his hospital room as being). The sensation he had wasn't precisely fear, or discomfort - he was well aware that he was capable of taking care of himself if there was trouble. However, that was the crux of the matter- he didn't wish to find any trouble. He wondered about the kinds of characters he would find in Ponyville and how they would differ from those he had met so far.
"Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity?" he asked suddenly. The three ponies stopped and looked up at him. "I'm not used to saying such things, but I just wanted to say ... well, thank you for volunteering to show me around today. I know that whatever is out there is going to be strange, and I really do appreciate your willingness to guide me through your customs," he acknowledged. He looked down towards the boots that Rarity had recently fashioned for him - a very comfortable fit, to his amazement. "I just wanted to say thank you ... really, for everything."
"Darling, it's absolutely fine! I would be more than happy to introduce you to the citizens of Ponyville and to our system of etiquette!" smiled Rarity.
Twilight was the next to chime in. "You're very welcome Karn! The ponies living here have largely never seen a creature such as you before, so it would be best to be accompanied by one of us for a while - at least until we know there won't be any panic or misunderstanding."
Karn, now dressed in his rather nice new uniform - fashioned at his insistence and to Rarity's chagrin as a replicate of his old uniform - Karn raised his six foot five frame, snapped to attention which earned another squeak from Fluttershy.
"Well, then," he growled, facing the door of his hospital room, "let us venture forth and see what this new world has to offer."
Karn's first steps into the sunlight were both blessing and curse. His eyes had become so accustomed to being indoors dealing with the unnatural lighting, that the warm brightness striking his eyes was almost too much to bear. He closed his eyes to temporarily shield his retinas from the sun's assault, and took a deep breath. The air was so fresh and sweet - something he had not experienced in such a long time. The scent in the air was of flowers - species he could not readily identify. There was the scent of blossoms on trees, of green grass. His eyes being closed, his mind focused fully on the simple joy of a breath of fresh air. No smell of explosives, mud, the sickly sweet stench of decay. Indeed, neither the smell of disinfectant, starched hospital sheets and the over oxygenated air.
He stood there with his head raised to the warmth of the sun, eyes closed, holding his breath. Oh Christ did this feel good.
It was odd that the thought that brought Karn from his heavenly reverie was something that he could not sense. Voices - he expected voices and yet his ears could hear none. It was strangely quiet - he could hear wind gently bustling leaves in the trees, the chitter of birds, the soft whisper of the air passing his ears, even the subtle sounds of insects ... but these gentle sounds were the only things to reach his ears. Opening his eyes and glancing suddenly downward, he found himself surrounded by what he supposed was a good portion of the local equine population. They were almost mannequin-like, with their eyes fixed on him. The extent of this attention was unexpected - and it was not in the least pleasant.
Passing his eyes slowly over his astonishing audience, he could see a range of mixed emotions amongst them. Some were clearly just surprised, others actually quite frightened.
Others seem perplexed, as if they were children who had heard an elephant described to them but could not comprehend the creature until actually physically confronted by one.
Still more of them just seemed interested, which was a relief. They had a look of confusion, but pure curiosity about this unusual, bipedal creature that they had not seen before.
Karn wondered what it was that all of these ponies actually beheld. His hair was long and jet black, straight but not unkempt. His face and skin were dried and somewhat worn from the many years of hardship and combat he'd endured. A dark mustache adorned his face - not bushy, but well trimmed and brushed. His brow was ever so slightly creased and curved downwards as he was in deep concentration. His arms were lean and very muscular - there were several scars that had healed over the years, leaving reminders of ancient horrors. The hands were gnarled, but not disfigured - strong and obviously accustomed to hard work. His shoulders were broad and muscular, a combination of training and exertion over the years. He was considerably taller than any of those who had come to see this 'sideshow' as he felt himself to be.
It was his gaze that most of the ponies present noticed. There was nothing outwardly astonishing about his eyes - they were a dark brown and very clear. It was the manner that he looked upon his unexpected guests. To those present near enough to notice his face in any detail, the look he gave was one of ... tension. It was a tenseness that was automatic, as if he was sizing up the ponies present somehow and calculating what any of them might be capable of. Watching and weighing each of them in his mind. His gaze began to shoot back and forth across the crowd, as he found himself reflexively forming fists with his hands.
Twilight was closest and thus the first to notice this sudden change in Karn's demeanor. On first exiting the hospital, the expression on his face had been so peaceful, so relaxed - he was obviously loving the new found freedom and the joy of being outside. It was when he noticed that they had company. His entire body seemed to become immediately strained - almost as if he was coiling himself into a spring. His right foot shifted backward, almost as if to brace himself, and his hands clenched. Looking up into his face, Twilight could see that his demeanor was suddenly watchful. He was looking at the throng before him and instinctively treating them as a potential threat.
The realization of what was happening exploded in her mind. He was determining how he would have to kill them, if he had to. She felt a sudden shudder of fear.
Swallowing deeply, she gently approached him and tried to capture his gaze. Speaking softly and gently, she tried to break what was probably some part of his persona that had served him well and kept him alive from whatever kinds of hell he'd been through. "Karn ... Karn, please listen to me ... it's okay ... nopony is here to harm you ... they are just curious, Karn ... they have never seen a human before ... please try and understand - you're safe here."
Karn's eyes darted downward to meet Twilight's imploring expression. He saw the look of fear in her eyes, the fear of a creature that felt danger near and was trying so hard to defuse it. 'Jesus, what am I doing?' he thought to himself in horror. He slowly unclenched his hands and the furrowed, intense, analyzing gaze slowly melted away in the presence of this kind princess. He had to give in. She was quite beautiful - he no longer cared if she was a pony.
His speech was tighter, flatter that it had been a moment ago indoors. "Twilight ... I'm, um. I'm not really used to being around ... well, being around ponies, or indeed anyone like this. One becomes used to death being ever present, Twilight. It can come from anywhere; from someone you thought a friend, from things you didn't see. The ones you don't see are the ones who kill you, Twilight! I'm just used to measuring people. It's very hard to explain at the moment, but I'll try to when we're ... well, just later on," he promised. There was a gentle nod and a caring smile from the pony he felt himself referring to as his philosophical mirror. "Please understand though, that I was not going to harm any of them. It's just that when I'm in that kind of a situation, I have a habit of making sure I'm aware of everything around me."
He looked back up at his pony audience, who were now looking to each other and muttering between themselves about what this human fellow meant to Ponyville.
Karn continued his explanation to Twilight, who listened intently. Naturally enough, she was madly writing in her notebook. "I look out at all these ponies and try to determine where I would go if I was attacked, how I would face that threat and neutralize it. I don't like having my back to a wall, or being in places with one exit. Twilight, I will never sit in a room where I am not facing the doorway and where I cannot reach a way out, even if that means slashing my arms by smashing my way through glass," he stated, holding out his scarred muscular arms to illustrate his point. "Twilight, you are truly amazing. I am afraid you will need a certain degree of patience with me as I ... well, get accustomed to not expecting death each time I meet anyone."
Turning to face the ponies who had indeed, as it were, come to see the elephant, Karn took another deep breath and let the tension within him, physically and mentally, flow out with his breath.
"Okay, Twilight. Let us go forth and see what world this is that I have arrived in". Turning and looking down at his pony friend, a broad, very nearly mischievous smile on his face, he continued. "Please, princess - lead on!"
Author's Note
The reference of the elephant here from Karn's perspective is a nod towards the novels by Bernard Cornwell - specifically "Rebel" (ISBN 0-00-617920-7) . I hasten to add, that the use of the metaphor is borrowed and certainly not copied verbatim! Buy the book - it's an interesting read!
The phrase the character used that has remained glued to my mind since is "you won't piss your pants when you see the elephant". What a simple, earthy way to express the attribute of courage in the face of something strange and unknown! It's a statement that should be a motto somewhere. I know not if "Non vides ut elephantis pantorum defricatus urina" would even be grammatically correct.
POST EDIT 2017-03-25:
Minor expansion of some dialog, removing some soppy text, fixing some grammar issues and tidying up the formatting.
“That proves you are unusual," returned the Scarecrow; "and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.”
Things had obviously not gotten off to the glorious start that Karn had envisaged upon escaping his 'cell' in the infirmary. At least he had managed to regain control of his defensive actions. It was apparent that the transition from his former world via purgatory in the hospital was going to be a difficult one. 'Well - let's tackle this philosophically, pal. Take the situation as it comes, take things slowly. Try not to fuck this up on your first day outside.'
A first-day-fuckup. It was a term that the older, hardened adepts used for new recruits who just didn't have that all important attribute of 'common' sense, or worse a desire to prove themselves - and it often got them killed, occasionally several of them, very usually graphically. 'You're in a different place now - put death to the back of your mind if you can, and let your senses allow you to know the customs and the creatures with which you now congregate with,' he thought optimistically to himself.
Thus minded, the morning continued ..... what the hell was today anyway?
"Rarity, it's an odd question to ask, but could you tell me what today would be?"
She looked up at him, an eyebrow raised in a mixture of surprise and amusement - a smile spread across her face. "My dear, are you telling me you have not the faintest idea which day of the week this is?"
"Well, if you'll forgive the free talk, my dear lady .... no."
"Oh! Well, it does happen to be what we call a Tuesday."
Tuesday ? If Karn realized he was not in fact under the influence of psychedelics by this point (between the magical ponies, the similar language, the utter mystery as to how he got here, how on earth Rarity had made these new God damn boots fit so well when no such manufacturer of uniforms could ever do so back 'home' and such forth), he would suspect that there had been something other than cereal in his bowl this morning.
His walking pace slowed to a stop, and he turned to face his familiar inquisitor. His other pony friends stopped and stared at him anxiously, unsure of what to expect. How could he blame them? His behavior and demeanor since they'd first met him had swung around in an ugly and unpredictable manner, 'like a can of shit on the end of a fishing line,' he reluctantly acknowledged. He wondered further if there was a colloquialism that Applejack would have on hand to match it. Perhaps he would try it out later - without the profanity.
His explanation for the brief pause helped to ease the tension a little. "We use the same name for a typical day where I'm from as well," he observed. Twilight frowned at him in confusion. Clearly her thoughts had been elsewhere. Probably not entwined with fishing line in any way, shape or form, or at least he hoped not. There followed more of the rapid scrawling in her notebook - the princess expressing a humming noise suggesting curiosity. Given that the main purpose of this sojourn outdoors was to become accustomed to his new surroundings, Karn did not press the matter. Knowing her even as little as he did, he guessed the question of names for each planetary rotation would be raised again later on that afternoon.
His guess was off by about ...
"Karn, could you tell me what names you give ... "
He raised a finger to his lips and quipped quietly. "Princess, perhaps we should commence with introductions first? I promise, I will endeavor to answer any questions you may have about our respective calendars at the first convenient moment," he offered. She flashed him 'the look' and he smiled sweetly back at her.
The three ponies once more made they way towards the other curious town folk with their new human visitor. Inevitably, the questioning continued and this time the matter fell to one of dress - Rarity's strongest suit.
"Karn, my dear, may I ask you a question regarding your mane?"
"My ... mane , my lady?"
"I do apologize if I'm a little out of place in asking, but is it the fashion for gentlemen where you are from to have such a long mane?"
Karn was confused for a moment. "Oh, you're referring to my hair ?" He reflexively reached behind his head and felt his long black hair, clean and very well brushed.
"Oh, well yes! It just seems somewhat uncouthly long for a creature that is most assuredly male!"
'They still think of me as a creature ,' he thought forlornly. "I come from a Country called Alsovia, on Chronos IV. The Alsovian tradition is for males to have long, well kempt hair whilst serving. We're one of the only exceptions to military protocol where I'm from, in that the long hair is considered part of the uniform."
This time it was Rarity who kept up the deep, calculating gaze at her human friend. "Have you ever considered perhaps - well, trimming it somewhat? I do believe that shorter hair would suit your visage, my dear."
The subject of the conversation would have been odd, if it had been from anyone other than Rarity ('anypony' he supposed - though he adamantly refused to make that alteration to the word's suffix). "Huh ... with all that's happened, I hadn't given it a moment's thought," he admitted. Their idle progress across the grounds towards the town hall continued. "Do you really think that shorter hair would suit me?"
"I certainly think it would be more appropriate for you, my dear. Especially here in Ponyville."
"I see ... and what of my mustache?" he quizzed, gently smoothing the sides of it a little and feigning a manner of deep concern, as if she was suggesting he burn his comfort blanket.
"My dear, I think that with your handsome features, you would be better without it. It is ... well, distracting."
"You think so? Really?"
There was an affirmative nod and knowing smile from the fashionista. He'd more or less kept the keratin about his person in the same configuration for so long that the idea of it being different was not really one that he'd even entertained. In the greater scheme of things, when you are surrounded by humans who are trying to kill you on a regular basis for hundreds of cycles, a hair cut does tend to fall way the hell down the list of 'shit I need to worry about' - somewhere below the 'what is that cloud in the shape of' area.
"So!" he exclaimed, flashing a wry smile. "My features - they are handsome, then?" His gaze shifted to hers and he brought all the faux slyness to bear that he could manage without laughing.
She feigned a quite transparent huff. "Oh! I can see I shall have to take some time to teach you at least a little of the manners one should use around a lady," she sniffed. The half-hearted air with which she did so suggested he had caught her out a little.
Clearly spending time with Rarity was going to be a lot of fun.
As observant as he was, he began to notice that the gait of each of his three pony friends that were with him were different - much like their characters were so different. These few ponies he'd become close to exhibited such wildly different personas that he often found himself feeling very much like an actor - as if compelled to mold his mannerisms to match that of whomever he happened to be talking.
If he was chatting with Rarity, then he felt obliged to reach for high language, a gentlemanly manner - charm, decorum and graciousness where possible. She was prim and very proper, but generous. She obviously placed a good deal of value on outward looks, but not in a way that was unpleasant. The manner in which she did so was not vain or proud, it was almost as if she felt that doing so were a form of good manners, of respect - and respect was something that one felt drawn to offer her. This was not respect that was demanded, it was a respect earned by her gracefulness and generosity.
Twilight was the one he found himself less like an actor with. She was at once academic and logical. She seemed to view his situation and the obverse one which she herself was in with a degree of scientific vigor. There was method there, solid systematic thinking and a good deal of healthy curiosity. Sprinkled amongst these stoic attributes of hers were other things that he enjoyed. She did have an interesting sense of humor, even if it was apparent just how hard she tried to hide it at times. She was also very tolerant of the silly remarks that Karn would make to her in an effort to see that very smile she tried to rein in - and he found it oddly pleasing when she failed, broke into a lovely smile and giggled.
The one he found truly fascinating though was Fluttershy. She was disinclined to say anything much at all, but when she spoke, her voice was like a cool breeze - soothing, calming, soft. The few times he had been able to enjoy a conversation with her had been treasured by him. He would find himself gently smiling and hanging on her every word, feeling genuinely touched by her care and recalling the way she had held him that horrible night in the hospital. She was certainly enigmatic in that she seemed so frightened of him at times, yet somehow determined to aid him in any way she could.
The four of them arrived at the front of the sightseers finally, a event that Karn found to be a relief after the places his mind had been drifting so recently. Maybe it was due to his having been confined indoors, or the fact that he wasn't used to peace and quiet such as this before? He hoped that was why. This simple walk outdoors had already been uncomfortable on a few levels.
The old defensive anxiety slowly crept forward a pace - leopard-like within his mind. This business of so many pairs of eyes studying him. He reined in his disconcern.
The first pony he was introduced to was of course the highest ranking official of the town. Twilight was kind enough to commence the introductions.
"Karn, I would like to introduce you to Mayor Mare! Your worship, I present to you Karn ... Karn ... "
"Well, no, that would of course just be 'Karn'," interrupted the guest of honor upon realizing the princess had of course forgotten his clan name. "The name of my clan is Rolltagen, therefore my full name would be Karn Rolltagen and not Karn Karn. It is my honor to meet you, your worship," he said as he bowed graciously. Twilight was clearly embarrassed about her having forgotten the better half of his name. "It's okay, Twilight. It's not an easy name for many people outside of Alsovia to remember."
"Well, on behalf of the residents of Ponyville, Karn Roll ... Rollta ... "
"Rolltagen."
"...Rolltagen," - a brief clearing of the throat followed - "I extend a warm welcome to you and offer you our hospitality!"
The minor formality of the situation brought back strong feelings of home, of great meetings between clans and the sharing of the customary acts of fellowship. Usually the passing of a cup of fine Alsovian whiskey between each high ranking member of the clans present, as a show of good faith. Perhaps they had a similar custom here? Did they have whiskey here? Shit, he hoped so. If not, he was certain he could start brewing something from that apple cider that they gave him in hospital. Whatever the hell an apple was, the taste certainly sorted well with his senses - add in some ethanol to that mixture, and it'd be a pretty wild drink!
He found himself somewhat astonished by the sight of what appeared to be a small dragon who now approached them. "Twilight? Is this him?" it inquired.
"Yes, Spike. Karn, you haven't met my friend Spike yet. Spike, meet Karn Rolltagen! Karn, this is Spike! He's my assistant and a very close friend."
"Delighted to meet you!" the dragon asked. The pitch of the voice suggested he was young, but then who knew in this place. He certainly seemed confident.
"Spike, it's wonderful to meet you too," responded Karn. Reaching his hand down to Twilight's assistant, he found the act of actually shaking another hand equipped with fingers once more to be especially welcoming. "You have hands!" he exclaimed. The look on Spike's face suggested Karn may not be quite the full deck of cards.
"Well, yeah ... I have another one, if you want to shake that too?" he laughed.
"Ah, I just haven't seen another pair of hands since I arrived and ... I'll probably just cut the rest of the sentence off here, yes? Sorry, I'm feeling strange enough as it is. All of this ... attention."
"Huh. Yeah. Did you want to stop shaking my hand?" Karn suddenly realized that he had in fact been shaking the dragon's hand now since they'd met. Why the hell was he behaving so oddly around these people, ponies, whatever? He actually felt for all the world a little nervous. All these ponies ... interested in him for one reason or another, either wanting to ask questions or just observing his behavior, his appearance. He'd never been the center of attention at anything other than a blood bath in the middle of a mud soaked battlefield - this kind of get together was something entirely new to him. It was all of the focus, but without the double ended shooting gallery around him.
A small yellow pony with the most astonishingly red hair tied up in a pink bow came forward with Applejack. "So, are you a hew-man?"
"Well, yes, I'm a human."
"Yew watch yer manners! Ahm sorry, Karn, my lil' sister here was curious to see what yew looked like, an' I ... "
"No, no, that's okay! I understand that young kids can be ... "
The trickle of questions turned into a flow, thence to a plumbing problem of industrial proportions. The feline defensive element of his ego took another two stealthy paces through the underbrush.
"Do humans have wings?" asked another small, probably young pony.
"Well, no, but they ... "
"How did you end up here in Equestria?" asked another.
"Presently, I'm not sure, I ... "
Still more questions followed. The plumbing gave way - water began sloshing under the bathroom door, saturating the carpet.
"I hope the hospital staff treated you well?"
The cat in his mind began to extend its claws, as he slowly clenched his fists. Brief flashes of moments from his past began to melt into the barrage of questions, giving the entire situation a rather frightening duality.
"What work did you do where you're from?"KARN! For fuck's sake shoulder that thing and kill that bastard behind the dune there!"sniper in that shadow! "Forget him - he's been blown in half you fucking moron! Jump the bags, gut those bastards, MOVE it!"
Twilight realized with a start that not only was Karn silent amongst all the questioning, but that he'd once more adopted that terrifying, defensive-looking pose. She began to call for some calm amongst the other ponies, but by then it was too late.
The leopard had reached near enough to its prey and lept with full force upon Karn's amygdala.
In what must have been very nearly an instant, a shimmer formed around Karn, blurring his appearance. None of those present had a chance to so much as gasp at this sudden transformation before the human sort-of blurred. His physical form smudged - almost as if someone had drawn a picture in wet paint and then smeared that picture along the length of a wall, the trail of which flowed from where he had just been standing to a distance a good deal farther back towards the hospital. Upon reaching that location, his form fell back to that of which they had already seen him - that of a very tall, dark haired human, albeit with his hands firmly clenched and standing very defensively and very far away.
If Twilight could've cursed, she most certainly would have. Not only did she have no idea what had just happened, but this was going to take a lot of explaining somehow.
It had indeed taken a few moments to calm down the visitors. It had taken Twilight all of her ability to rationalize to the others that he wasn't any kind of threat and that he'd been somehow surprised by all of the questioning. He had probably simply done something to make himself safe. That point being made to the assembled throng, it was agreed that a smaller and more select group of those present should meet with Karn first, rather than have him flooded once more with questions and risk a worse reaction.
Karn had by now seated himself on the lawn outside the hospital, a sense of defeat and disgrace clear upon his features. It had taken him a few seconds to compose himself after realizing what he'd done. Twilight, Spike, the Mayor and the other ponies he already knew - Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy - slowly approached him.
They kept what they felt was a safe enough distance at first, at which point Twilight made sure it was okay to approach closer. "Karn? ... Are you okay? Do you mind if we come a little closer?"
He stopped staring down sadly at his boots and looked up across to her. "Princess, I have a feeling that there are some explanations I need to offer to you."
"Well, I wasn't going to push the issue just yet, but ... whatever happened just now, it had nothing to do with magic. Just like the place where you first arrived here, that wasn't magic either ... may we come closer?" she asked.
He nodded sadly. "Yes, of course. I won't hurt any of you, you have my absolute word. I just have defensive reflexes that are time hardened and you just experienced two of them."
The ponies and Spike moved a little closer and sat next to Karn on the lawn. Twilight gently rested a hoof on his left arm. "Would you mind letting me know what happened?" she asked as empathetically as she could.
Karn stared back at his new boots, letting the words form in his mind as best he could. He'd been working very hard to keep his skills as an Adept hidden up until now. "As an adept, Princess, I have this skill or set of skills I guess you could say. They have nothing to do with the 'magic' that I've witnessed here. Adepts have this innate ability to absorb and transform energy."
"Transform energy?"
"I mean, I can absorb energy from almost any form. Heat, electrical activity and so forth. Having absorbed such energy, I can then transform it into other forms."
"So, you could absorb electricity from somewhere and turn it into heat, or fire or something?"
"Yes, amongst many other things," he said. He let the statement float in the air. She was intelligent enough to grasp what that suggested.
"Or to use as a weapon," she whispered.
"Precisely. Please understand, Princess, that I am an order adept. I act defensively, I only attack if I'm attacked first. We believe principally in helping protect people. What you all just witnessed here is what we call 'shielding' and 'time dilation'. Once things got too much for me over there, I shielded myself with what power I have, then ... and this is difficult to explain to you, but I bent time. I essentially ran from where I was to here, whilst bending time. It took me several seconds at a dead sprint to get this far away from you all, but I'm guessing from your point of view it was nearly instantaneous?"
Twilight nodded. "Karn ... you're saying what you did was defensive?"
"Yes, Princess."
"... and that you would never act aggressively in any way, preferring to remove yourself from that danger as you did just now?"
"Yes, Princess. Always defensively, where possible."
"Karn, what if you found yourself feeling threatened and you couldn't find such a means of escape?"
God but she was intelligent.
"Then I'm scared what I would do," Karn sighed finally.
Twilight frowned thoughtfully at him. He offered her a worried frown as his eyes remained fixed on hers.
Author's Note
I've tried not to rehash Karn's feelings about how each of the different ponies act in this particular chapter. It just seemed an interesting place to bring in some further detail, on his meeting with the population of Ponyville. I included a reference to a place on Karn's home planet of course of "Alsovia" which I'll expound on very soon. As can be seen, he has no knowledge that Fluttershy IS very much capable of command when the situation arises. No doubt the poor man will learn!
The rerference to long, well kept hair is in fact from Spartan warriors from Laconia - who by all accounts kept their hair long. Interestingly enough (for me at least), Napoleonic French Sappeurs were required to wear beards as part of their uniform!
POST EDIT 2017-03-30:
“He who fears death either fears the loss of sensation or a different kind of sensation. But if thou shalt have no sensation, neither wilt thou feel any harm; and if thou shalt acquire another kind of sensation, thou wilt be a different kind of living being and thou wilt not cease to live.”
The morning's events had somewhat battered what had been Karn's uplifted mood. He still felt the keen pain of regret for losing control so suddenly. It had taken a lot of good will on the part of the town to allow him to stay, or at least that's what he guessed was the case. The sudden exercise of adeptic power when he had been trying so hard not to had left him with one incredible head ache. The stress and embarrassment he'd felt as a result of his losing control so easily had of course not helped either. All of this had occurred conveniently at a time when we was still convalescing.
His relatively newfound equine friends seemed to be accepting enough, with the possible exception of Rainbow Dash.
"How on earth can we trust him after he did something like that?"
"Dashie, it was obviously just a misunderstanding on his part."
"Yeah? What if he does it again? What if it's something worse next time?" Karn found himself agreeing with Rainbow Dash on that score. 'The scowl on her face will probably be a permanent one after this morning,' he thought. She hadn't trusted him from the opening of proceedings and it seemed unlikely she would warm to him now. Her honesty was brutal. As he was already feeling particularly low, her tone pushed the negativity he felt into a vicious positive feedback loop within his psyche.
He felt awful, she vicariously impressed the reasons why he felt awful, thus he felt worse. Rinse, vomit, repeat.
He'd fucked up rather spectacularly, and done so on his first day. Well done. "She's right, Rarity. God only knows what I'd end up doing if anything around here actually did make me crack," he intoned in a way that didn't help him feel any better. A voice in the back of his mind called him a 'self-pitying little piss cart,' let Applejack beat that one.
Rarity looked taken aback at the very idea that he could lose control in a manner that could ever be dangerous. "You can't possibly be serious? Why on earth would you do anything like that? Karn, you may have overreacted a little ... "
"I erected a shield, bent time and ran from a group of ponies that were just asking me questions," he reasoned.
"Exactly!! What'll he do if anypony freaks him out NEXT time?" insisted Rainbow Dash.
"Well, he hardly hurt anyone this time, did he!" exclaimed Rarity.
"No, but he COULD have!"
The to and fro between the unicorn and the pegasus began to bounce around the walls of his mind, like two angry ping-pong protagonists hell bent on battering each other into submission. Two strong wills, neither seemed to want to give way - if he wasn't feeling so terrible, the polarity of their situation may even have amused him.
"He made a simple mistake, that's all. He just got upset after finding himself in such an unusual situation! You cannot tell me, Dashie, that you wouldn't have done the same?"
"Not like THAT, I wouldn't have! I'm just saying we shouldn't trust him that much until we know what ELSE he's been holdin' out on us!"
The last one felt like an ice pick being driven into him. The point was a pertinent one. Karn reasoned he would've been compelled to take a similar stance were the tables turned on him. Imagine having a notebook levitating multicolored pony suddenly land at his feet, whilst stuck in a trench somewhere! His internal dialog attempted a chortle at the image, but in his dismal frame of mind it just assumed a bitter cackle.
The arguing between them over a stupid act he was guilty of began to grate on his already taught nerves. The pain in his head increased. The man with the large adjustable wrench within his aching skull gave his optic chiasm an extra twist, just in case he'd forgotten it was there. 'God dammit, enough,' he cursed internally.
"Look ... JUST ," he growled suddenly, before he sighed and stopped. A sudden wave of nausea overcame him. He closed his eyes and reached out with his hands in an attempt to steady himself. His sudden outburst did not improve on the feeling that someone had jammed a pneumatic instrument into his ear and increased the pressure in his skull to a bone cracking level. He took a few breaths, eyes tightly shut, before continuing. "Please don't argue with each other over something foolish that I did? I'm the one who fu- ... ruined the morning. It's nothing any of you did. Rainbow Dash is right, I didn't cause any harm this time, but ... "
The pain in his head ratcheted up a few gears, the metaphorical nylon rip-stop straps dug into his brain and he suddenly felt quite dizzy. "Ugh ... I need to sit down. How far is it to um ... to um ... " he grumbled, as he gesticulated slowly with his free hand in the hope that one of his new friends would oblige and fill in the blanks for him.
"You mean to Sugar Cube Corner?" quipped Pinkie. Her voice at any other time would've been wonderful. Her pitch very unfortunately felt like whomever it was that had ratcheted down the straps across his cerebrum had walked around and begun plucking them. The briefest flash of an image in his mind of Pinkie Pie strumming his brain like a guitar at least brought on a half-hearted smile.
Slowly opening his eyes, he found to his relief that the world wasn't spinning. "The very one, Pinkie. Thank you, my brain appears to be in neutral at the present moment," he replied. Several pairs of eyes stared blankly back at him. "It's ... it's colloquialism," he reasoned further. There was a blink or two there he was sure. "You know ... an old saying". A chorus of knowing sounds greeted his ears. 'I must try and speak a little more plainly,' he thought. 'Better yet, don't think - it hurts to.'
"It's not that far!"
He'd hoped for something a little more specific. Throwing up in the street on his first jaunt into town would really just be the perfect way to end the day. "Wh ... what do you mean by 'not far', Pinkie? I must apologize for sounding rude, but the jack hammer in my head ... " he began, before stopping as he was greeted once more by those unknowing stares. "My head hurts a great deal, Pinkie. I really need somewhere to sit down, before I'm sick."
"Well, it's really close! You should be able to see it from here!" she giggled. He hoped the agony his neural system was currently dealing him didn't show too obviously. He very nearly felt one of his eyes begin to twitch.
"Pinkie ... "
"You've got your hand on it, silly!"
"I've got my what?"
"Your hand! I know you like hands, you did ask Spike about ... "
"Oh, my hand, I ... " he turned to obtain a better view of the edifice currently serving to halt his fall to the ground in a very untidy heap. "I gather the building upon which I now rest my hand is the very place?"
"Uh huh! Come inside! You'll be made very welcome!" She somehow managed to bounce happily through a doorway that was about half his height.
"Where does she get that kind of energy from?" he asked, bemusedly. His other friends rolled their eyes and grinned. "No, I mean really. If it can be injected, inhaled, ingested or absorbed, I would love some," he joked. He wasn't sure if they understood his meaning or not. It didn't matter. At least he could sit down again for a while.
His introduction to Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who it seemed ran the aptly named Sugar Cube Corner, was indeed a good deal more charming of a first meeting than he'd managed earlier that day. In fact, he found the couple to be extraordinarily cheerful and pleasant and very understanding of his quiet speech and tired demeanor. They at least seemed to understand that he was in pain, and immediately offered him what seating they could. The pony sized stools being out of question - it had taken some work on his part to stoop through the doorway - he received permission to seat himself upon the floor. 'With the rest of my ... therapists?' he thought to himself.
"I know I've probably said so a few times on our trek here, but I'm very sorry about this morning. I didn't expect things to have gone so pear shaped ... I mean, so badly," apologized Karn.
"Don't you worry yer head about it fer now, Karn," rolled Apple Jack. "Jest set yerself down and relax fer a while! You were startin' ta look pretty much run down out there."
To his surprise, he managed a feeble smile for her. "You must promise me that you will show me apples," he insisted. She seemed genuinely stunned by the request.
"Apples? Are you tellin' me y'all don't have apples where yer from?"
"Well, no. My family was largely given to work in the wine trade. Of course we also distilled some rather good Alsovian Whiskey too."
"Whiskey?" asked Twilight.
"Yes, it's a distilled drink made in my home Country. It's very much the custom for each clan to make its own. We use it for celebrations and such. Do you not distill alcohol here?"
"Alcohol?" Twilight asked.
"It doesn't sound like it. That being the case, I shall not introduce it to you," he stated. The idea of a town full of magical, completely inebriated ponies, whilst entertaining, sounded neither safe nor welcoming. "Apples, though. The very name intrigues me. The more so since I'd be very interested to know how much horticulture differs here than back home," he pointed out to Applejack. The concept that home was quite possibly gone, if not forever then at least for quite some time slowly wiped the weak smile from his face. Pinkie opted to try and come to his emotional rescue.
"Karn, cheer up. I'm sure we'll find out somehow what happened to you and how you got here! In any case, it's great to have a new face around town! Chin up, buttercup! There has to be something here I'm sure you'll just love, oh I bet I can guess! You'll love this!"
A large, incredibly sweet smelling carbonated beverage topped with a bewildering variety of colored sprinkles and sporting a large straw seemed to appear from nowhere.
"I ..."
"Try it! Try it! Try it! I bet you'll love it!" Pinkie insisted.
He raised one eyebrow at his vivacious companion. He wondered if the bubbles in the drinks were what made her that way? He was certainly willing to try it and find out. He allowed the first slow draft of the contents of the glass to flow onto his tongue.
The resulting effect on his taste buds and on his olfactory bulb were difficult for him to describe. He could not recall ever having tasted anything either so incredibly sweet nor indeed so tasty at the same time. He'd been obliged to take glucose tests as part of his cyclical medical examination - but whatever the hell this was made from absolutely blew that awful stuff away completely. He swallowed the first mouthful. His eyes watered, his eyelids twitched and for a moment he was sure he could actually see sounds and hear colors.
"P ... Pinkie ... I ... whoa," he spluttered.
"See!! I told you you'd like it! Isn't it great?!? It's my own recipe! I ... "
"Pinkie, I ... synesthesia! ... Sweet Jesus, what's IN this?!?" he remarked, finally staring down at the drink before him in wonder.
"Well, first I take ... "
"Let me guess. Sugar!"
"Well, there's a lot more to it than just sugar, silly, but ... "
"Sugar!" Karn exhaled deeply. "Pinkie, where I've been the past two hundred cycles, you can have no idea what a luxury something like sugar would be. Occasionally we'd use packets of glucose to gamble with! I didn't know what this much of it tasted like in one hit until now!"
Pinkie started to look concerned for a moment. "You ... you don't like it?"
Karn realized once again that he'd been less than clear. "No, no, Pinkie, I love it! It tastes ... " another exhalation, "it's just so sweet, I've never tasted anything close to this before. Alsovian Whiskey is known to be a little sweet, but fu- ... " Twilight looked around at him. "Ah. I mean, wow! The beverage is indeed wonderful, Pinkie. It just may take my taste buds a little while to get used to anything so ... wow."
His appreciative remarks, as far as he could manage them, were genuine. Whilst he could only manage gentle sips of it, the well being it brought along with Pinkie's usually happy company, finally started to ease his troubles. As if to reinforce this, her smile grew larger than before. He was astonished that was even physically possible. Once more, he felt his mood rise - how did these ponies manage to do that?
"Okay. So, I know Pinkie is master with ... well, with the creation of these," he spluttered as he raised the glass towards Pinkie in salute. "I know a little about most of you from my imprisonment within the walls of the hospital, with all due regard to Doctor Horse and Nurse Redheart, one hastens to add! Applejack, I know you're the one with the apples and as such it sorts well with your name. My dear lady Rarity makes the most incredible footwear I have ever had the fortune to put upon my person. Twilight is of course the inquisitor ... " a frown flashed his way from his current subject. "Well, I mean of course inquisitive if I may. Spike here, of course, offers such wonderful assistance, gifted with two hands, one of which I've had the benefit of shaking for a protracted period of time."
"Karn, are you sure you're okay?" asked Spike. "You sound kinda funny, even for you!"
For the first time he could really recall since arriving, there was a genuine laugh that escaped from his lips - and to his present joy, he found it shared with his company, even Rainbow Dash.
A very agreeable hour spent being introduced to Sugar Cube Corner, it was decided to make their way to Twilight's abode. The refreshments and the chance to rest a little had allowed Karn to recover his health and improve his mood enough to walk a little further unaided. Twilight had made it a point to take Karn to her laboratory in order to carry out a few simple studies on him, to see if such could offer an clue as to what had brought him here to Equestria in the first place.
Fluttershy followed a little nervously to one side of Karn as they continued their progress towards Twilight's beckoning library. She had listened intently to the to-and-fro conversation between all of them whilst visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Cake. As they walked together, she wondered why it was that she felt a connection of some kind to this human creature. After their time together in Ponyville hospital whilst he was at his worst, she had grown attached to him and felt responsible for his well being - maybe that was it?
'Okay, so it has come down to this,' Karn growled to himself. They had managed to find their way to Twilight's house without any other major mishaps. There had been a few more greetings along the way and some event free introductions. He still felt the general malaise that had settled on him since his introduction to the town outside the hospital. The pain had abated somewhat - he'd given in finally and taken some of the pain medication that Doctor Horse had offered him just prior to being discharged. At least he was lucid enough to determine what kind of analgesia he was being given, and between himself and the 'good Doctor', they'd been able to find a suitable dose.
The gremlins in his skull had at least given up attacking his mind with heavy machinery. They seemed to be happy enough to just idly kick the sides of his brain, as if they were checking to make sure it hadn't gone flat. The image was again one that he found amusing.
At any rate, he found himself seated once more on the floor of an abode that seemed to have been made from a standing tree. He was very impressed - whilst doorways were an issue with their lower height and seating was clearly something he would have to address at some stage, the manner in which the dwelling had been built was interesting.
He'd forgotten about the décor once Twilight had asked him to wear a strange metal helmet, covered with sensors. She'd promised it was painless and she had been right. However, it still felt like she was the one overreacting this time - precisely what was she hoping to determine?
"Twilight, do you really think this is necessary? I am assuming this is the equivalent of an electroencephalogram, but I really doubt it will show you anything interesting."
"I'd still like to run the test while I'm asking you more questions. I think we're more likely to discover anything interesting that way."
He raised an eyebrow and nodded his head a little with grudging agreement. 'Who knows? Maybe the Gremlins will show up - perhaps they have names? It wouldn't be the weirdest thing to happen to me lately,' he pondered. "Okay, Princess, I'll grant you that much. Whilst my head is buried under this colander, by all means continue your questioning."
"Now, can you try and think back to the moment you found yourself here. What were your first sensations?"
He was expecting a question such as this, but even so the prospect of having to go dredging up that intense moment wasn't something that he was eager to do. "Oh God, I was afraid you'd say that," he managed, his voice flat. "There are a few aspects of that experience that are very hard for me to think about."
"Karn, I know it's difficult for you. But I'm really hoping we can find out what happened and figure out how you got here, not to mention how to get you home."
He paused for a moment and collected his thoughts and memories as best he could.
"The first physical sensation I can recall really was the wet ground I landed on here."
"What was the last thing you remember feeling before that?"
"It's ... very hard to describe," he said firmly. He tried to find a way to describe what he'd felt prior to his arrival in this place. "Twilight, you realize you're aware of who you are? Where you are? When you are? You are aware of your existence and that you are here," he gestured to the ceiling above them. "You are aware of the passage of time and that it is advancing in a linear fashion around you?"
He let the words sit there for a moment. He was certain that he hadn't made himself clear at all. He caught the sight of his boots once more and found it easier to concentrate on them, than to try and make eye contact.
"I am sitting here, aware of the floor under me, the room around me, all of my senses are fully intact. Now ... imagine only comprehending that your mind exists. Only your thoughts, only the idea that your essence is there. There is no darkness, for you cannot see. It isn't noisy, for you cannot hear. You feel nothing physically, you cannot sense your limbs, your body. There is ... it's almost as if nothing is there. Just your mind, on some kind of ... " he shook his head in confusion. "Infinite plane, one that bends in on itself. Your mind is just flowing around and through this ... nothingness. There was no sense of time, I mean none at all. There was just my mind, my ego, spread over this space. I don't mean space as in the sense of being in this lab for example. It just felt like ... being bound, but unbound. As if my only form was that of water running around a ball somehow. No start, no end."
He finally looked over at her, hoping that something he had said had made some kind of sense. She had that look of curiosity that he found oddly comforting. She was very interested in what he had to say, obviously, whether it made any sense or not.
"Karn, can you recall anything that happened before that? Was there anything you can remember happening just before you started to ... become 'unbound'?"
He felt his stomach sink. There was a feeling of nausea once more. He took a moment to try and relax, to let himself recover a little, before he could even begin to speak. When he finally did speak, the pain in his voice was obvious. It was clear he was recalling events that he didn't want recalled and covering ground he didn't want to tread on again. He slowly seemed to lose awareness of where he was, as the old horrors began working their way forward within his mind.
Why couldn't he stop them?
"I remember sitting in a shell hole. We'd been fighting on that planet for several days and were preparing for another offensive. It was so wet. I remember the feeling of rain on my back. I remember watching it fill the shell hole. I remember ... " he stopped abruptly. His eyes seemed to focus on something beyond the walls - like he was fixing his sight on something that existed only in his memories.
The look was one of fear mixed with horror and regret. For his part, he became unaware of the lab he was sitting in.
He could remember alright, that was part of the problem.
"I remember Coron sitting there. We were just talking nonsense as we always did. I'd been trying to drink a canteen with some coffee in it. This ... incredible flash. I would guess it was something propelled from nearby, there was no hint of artillery or the crump of mortars. Just this flash. Coron, he was right there, just talking to me. The percussion of the blast blew me quite out of my senses briefly. I remember feeling the pain that followed on from the shock of that explosion .... and he was gone, nothing more than chunks of uniform and parts everywhere.thing ... "
The disgust in his voice mingled with the other emotions already present. He began to visibly tremble, his eyes still fixed on something out of Equestria, quite out of the range of any of them to understand.
"The power being wielded by chaos and order across the battlefield just joined, somehow. It was almost like entropy itself had assumed some kind of demonic form. This ... this ball of nothing! It just began spreading. It ate everything in its path, it was just completely indiscriminate. It just grew, nobody else seemed to notice it! They just kept killing each other. And it grew! Almost as if it fed on them, chaos and order alike.
He could again smell the battle ground - the mud, the smell of dirt soaked in blood and rain water, the scent of death and ozone in the air, the crackling of that thing as it spread over the face of the planet - unstoppable, assuming what felt like some kind of senseless rage.
"I remember ... I remember thinking that this was how I was to meet my end. I remember wondering if my father would know how I'd died, if anyone would figure out what had happened. I drew every single screed of energy I could to shield myself, and then just as that thing reached me, I bent time and tried to slow it down enough ... I so wanted just one more moment, one more second, one more instant of existence before ... then it reached me, and the pain! It was as if someone had quite literally torn me apart, atom by atom. Just ripped me down to nothing more than the raw molecules of my former self. And yet as that happened, my mind, the part of me that's aware of who I am, of what I am ... it was as if it became detached and thrown onto that ... that plane . I couldn't stop it! I couldn't stop them killing themselves. For what? In the snap of a finger, in that one instant, just ... erased."
His memories thus dredged, he slowly became re-aware of his surroundings. His vision once more fixed on his footwear, the scent of death left him and the death screams once more slid into his subconscious - almost as if they'd been given at least some kind of burial. Once more, he could feel the floor beneath him, the apparatus on his head and hear the whirring of lab equipment. Aside from the sounds of the room, the only other sound he was aware of was that of his shuddering, halting breaths. Was he alone?
He looked up to find Twilight had stopped writing in her notebook at some stage. She was staring at him, the shock apparent on her face. The others were likewise visibly shaken.
"Twilight, what happened to them? What happened to me?" he asked, finally.
"Oh Karn, I'm so sorry," she whispered. He fought back against the wave of sadness and guilt he could now feel washing over him. He felt a hoof gently touching his right arm - looking around, he found Fluttershy standing by his side.
"Fluttershy ... what ... why?" His guardian angel gently slid her hooves up and around him and she rested her head onto his chest.
Composing herself a little, Twilight stepped towards the two of them. "Karn, I'm so sorry I put you through that again. I didn't realize it was that painful for you. I promise, I won't ask about that experience again."
"It's okay, Twilight, I know you needed to ask, but please don't make me do that again."
"Never again, I promise."
Author's Note
I've been trying to work some more dialog into the story. Lord only knows how well or badly I failed, but I did enjoy writing much of this one.
I will give no trophy to whomever can spot The Rolling Stones reference within this chapter.
2017-03-30 POST EDIT:
Confront them with annihilation, and they will then survive; plunge them into a deadly situation, and they will then live. When people fall into danger, they are then able to strive for victory.
Karn lay on the floor of Twilight's tree house. The manner of its construction intrigued him. He looked idly out the window in his attempts to move his thoughts away from what had been resurrected earlier on in the lab downstairs. The experience had been very painful and had left him shaken and more than a little embarrassed. This was one hell of a first day introduction to the outdoors of Ponyville here in Equestria. He had not made a great impression.
After he'd been able to calm down and compose himself, Twilight had very kindly suggested that they all retire upstairs so that he could get some rest. Karn was certainly in no condition to argue - he was most effusive with his thanks.
His bed for the moment was the floor, on top of a rug thoughtfully provided by Twilight. The pillow for his steadily throbbing head was a cushion off one of the pony sized couches, but it was indeed softer than the wooden floor. The comforts were Spartan, but they were no less deeply appreciated for that. The attention of his well wishers was touching. Simple things - but they greatly affected him. He wasn't used to feeling this kind of gratitude.
His attention out the window to his right was focused on silly minutiae. Principally the manner in which the leaves on the tree's branches outdoors slowly rustled and swayed in the gentle breeze. He remained intent on this simple act of nature, more as a means to drag his mind's focus away from his former world and to forget the fact that he felt foolish, childish and quite ridiculous after what had transpired in the lab.
In his semi-meditative state, he lost track of time. In fact it had only been about half an hour since he had first lain down upon the makeshift bed. He remained still, just concentrating on silly things outside, forcing his mind to keep those hideous recollections buried within him. Occasionally those nightmares would try to push aside the effects of his meditation and make a dash for his full awareness. Thus far he'd been able to win these inner battles. With each fight against those demons, the job became easier. So many battles - it would clearly take a long time to bring this aspect of his experiences to heel, such that he controlled them and not vice versa.
He had been lying there silently looking outside with his breathing slow and relaxed, as the ponies who were there with him had kept a close vigil. This action on their part was born more of a concern for his well being, rather than any fears of his being dangerous. Their conversation behind him was quiet, not quite a whisper. He tried not to take notice of anything they might be saying, preferring instead his meditation to try and clear his poor, fear addled mind.
Pinkie Pie was the first to cross over to him and inquire how he was currently feeling. "Karn? Are you sleeping?"
He broke his meditative rest with a gentle laugh. "No, Pinkie," he answered quietly. His vision remained fix on the foliage out the window. The wind picked up pace and then gently settled again. The rhythm was strangely calming. "I was just watching the leaves."
"Watching the leaves? You mean outside?"
"Well, yes, Pinkie, as opposed to the inside ones."
"There are leaves inside? The last time that happened, it was a sleepover with Rarity and Applejack and that didn't go so well."
"Huh. I can imagine," he chuckled. He felt the more astonished that the performance of the leaves outside the window still had his complete attention. He realized with a start that he was actually being quiet rude, with his head turned away from his friend. He managed to roll his head to his left side, resting on the cushion.
"Of course it ended well! They were best buddies again after that!" she continued.
"You all certainly stick together. Thick as fleas, so to speak."
"Thick as ... "
"Sorry, I mean you're all very close," he corrected himself. "I need to stop using metaphors that you all clearly don't use here".
"Pinkie, is he doin' okay?" interrupted Rainbow Dash. She had warmed just a tiny bit towards him after the scene in the lab. Karn wasn't prepared to push that though, lest he say something she wasn't pleased with and her old distrust would rise again.
"I don't know! I think so! He was watching the leaves!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"The leaves ?" The look on Rainbow Dash's face suggested she was worried about his sanity, or whether indeed he had any.
"Yep! He was just telling me how he was looking outside at the leaves, and ... "
"Please don't go stressing him too much, you two. He clearly needs some rest and a makeover at some point to clean up that mane of his," chipped in Rarity.
Karn managed a slight smile at that suggestion. "You're still wanting me to abandon my carefully cultivated hair? Can I not enjoy its presence, just for a few moments more, my lady? It and I have been very close for so long now," he moaned, as he feigned a degree of concern. But the exhaustion that was very nearly palpable in this voice made it clear that he was being facetious. Rarity was having none of it.
"Oh! Don't be ridiculous ... "
"Yeah! I'm better at that than you are!"
"Pinkie !"
"Are y'all in here beating th' poor guy around 'is ears with all that nonsense? Ah reckon he just needs to make it ta Sweet Apple Acres and we can see what work he's up to doin'."
"Applejack, that sounds like a great idea," managed Karn. "In my present state of mind, I doubt this would be a good time to pursue that, but I would certainly like to make it there at the first good opportunity," he said.
"You bet! Fresh air, hard work, it'll get you running again in no time! Apples, too, of course!"
"Apples don't run!"
There was a sigh from Applejack. "No, Pinkie, ah reckon they don't. Anyway, Karn, you just get yer strength up and when yer up to it, we'd love ta have you over our way!"
Drawn by her friends and the discussion, Fluttershy was the next to appear alongside his well wishers. "Is he feeling a little better?"
"Yes, Fluttershy, thank you," he whispered, with a weak, sensitive smile for his guardian angel. Whilst the morning had been very traumatic, he felt that much closer to her for it.
"He's watching leaves!" observed Pinkie Pie.
"He's watching ... "
"Fluttershy, I was just looking out the window at the leaves on the tree. I was trying to meditate on those and not ... well, earlier events."
Twilight joined the growing circus. "Karn, you were supposed to try and rest! What are all of you doing in here?"
Karn had given up the prospect of a little rest. He felt exhausted, but touched by the attention of them all. "It's okay, Twilight. I was leaf watching and meditating a little, but I'm okay at the moment, thank you."
"You were leaf watching?"
It struck him as interesting that all of them had been as surprised as he was, upon discovering he'd been watching leaves on a tree outside the window, as a means to clear his thoughts and try to relax. "Yes, Twilight. I was trying to just observe them in motion, and not think about anything specifically. It's a simple means of meditation - to force my active mind to focus on something trivial, in an effort to keep other thoughts at bay."
"Interesting," mumbled Twilight. There was more scribbling in that book of hers. Karn wondered what it was she was writing down, and felt a strange urge to read it back. "I've let Princess Celestia know you're here, Karn. Since you're not well enough to travel, she suggested making the trip here to see you instead."
"Princess Celestia is coming HERE?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "When? Do we need to clean this place up a bit?"
"No, I think things are fine as they are. But we should make sure that Karn is at least sitting upright and able to make a half decent impression for the princess," suggested Twilight.
None of the others had so much as a chance to move. Pinkie, announcing she was "Right on it!" immediately tore around the house gathering together the largest chair that could be found. She even managed to locate a foot rest for him and another blanket to keep him warm. Karn, as skilled as he was at manipulating time, found himself deeply impressed.
"Pinkie, your consideration and dedication to my comfort are greatly appreciated. I certainly hope I am still able to stand from such a relaxing position to greet your Princess?"
"You'll be fine, sugar cube. Princess Celestia has a heart so kind, that the breeze stops ta listen to her evr'y word!"
"Thank Christ I stopped my observation of the foliage out the window then," he observed, Applejack cocked her head at him. "Well, if the breeze ceased, the leaves would stop moving, and ... that would sort of ruin my focus," he explained. He could tell that she still didn't entirely understand the concept he was trying to convey to her. He decided it didn't matter. "I'm glad your nobility is kind hearted. If this Princess Celestia is as considerate and erudite as all of you, I am intrigued and eager to make her acquaintance."
"Karn, you'll be just fine. Please try and relax for her, and just be yourself. Um ... she may want to ask you some questions ... "
"Oh shit, Twilight no, no please ," Karn stammered, suddenly edging forward in his seat.
"NO, KARN! Not those kinds of questions! She's mostly eager to know what you're like, what your customs were in your home Country of ... " she rummaged through her notes .... "Alsovia! I explained to her about what we discovered in the lab earlier and that I promised not to put you through that again. Really, it's okay, Karn. She understands too, from what I've told her of your experiences."
Karn had felt suddenly cold and clammy at the mention of questioning. Twilight's gentle gaze and reassurances helped to ease his anxiety though and his sympathetic nervous system began to back off somewhat. "Thank you, Twilight. I really don't think I could go through all of that again."
"Who's up few some cider, Sweet Apple Acres specialty!" chimed in Applejack. Karn's eyes lit up - he could recall the beverage from his hospital bed.
"Applejack, you need to ask? Your question is rhetorical, surely!" Karn managed, unable to hide his grin. His voice was still quiet and exhibited that fatigue but he was most certainly keen to imbibe this carbonated fruit juice that he had learnt of since arriving here in Equestria. "Do you carry a spare supply of this stuff in your ... well, your ... what is it you are wearing anyway?"
"These? Oh, these are called saddle bags! Ah carry a spare bottle or two of cider with me fer special occasions. I reckon this is as good a special occasion as we've had today! Git yer mugs out, everypony! ... And er, every human!"
The ponies and Karn seated around Twilight's lounge sipped the cider and the conversation roamed from odd news and gossip of what was going on around town, to what was happening with Karn.
"This princess of yours, Princess Celestia. How should I address her? I am not used to addressing royalty and I assume there is an etiquette to be followed."
Rarity of course answered, being by far the most knowledgeable of the subject. "When she enters the room, you should stand, and offer a bow. As you don't have hooves, I am not entirely sure how you should go about prostrating yourself, but I think as long as you can lower your gaze and perhaps kneel on one leg, that should be enough. You'll find that the Princess is not one to be too insistent on such aspects of royal etiquette, Karn. As long as you make the effort to appear respectful and acknowledge her presence as gracefully as possible, I am sure she will appreciate your actions ... except ... "
Karn managed a look at Rarity that suggested she was about to request something that he probably wouldn't like. "Except , my lady?"
"Well ... Karn, would you mind retiring downstairs with me? I know that's the lab, but I promise that I won't be doing any experiments on you! There is just something I want to do for you, before the Princess arrives! Twilight, we still have a half an hour before her arrival?"
"The Princess is always punctual, Rarity. I would say thirty minutes precisely!"
"Karn, would you please follow me downstairs for a moment?"
He lay there staring at the graceful mare, not sure whether to trust her or not. What game was she playing? "Um ... Rarity ... what are you getting at, exactly?"
"Tsk, it's okay Karn. You are just somewhat disheveled and you simply cannot be seen like that by the Princess on her arrival!"
Karn was hesitant. The last time he'd ventured downstairs, he'd ended up a screaming ruin. "Rarity ... "
She could obviously sense the pain that was still there, just behind his voice. She walked gently to him, took his hand in her hoof and tried to reassure him. "Karn, my dear, I promise. I am not here to hurt you. My only thought is to tidy your appearance somewhat, before the ruler of Equestria arrives to meet you. Surely you would like to make a good first impression?"
He looked into her eyes, attempting to ascertain what her intentions were. It didn't matter anyway - aside from the looks of distrust from Rainbow Dash, none of these ponies thus far had expressed anything other than kindness in their eyes. Rarity's eyes were blue, bright, pure - she had this lighter blue shade of makeup applied to her eyelids. Her eyes fixed on his, whilst she clearly waited for a response. He tore himself from his reverie. "Ah, sorry. I was lost for a moment. Well ... lead on. I trust you, my lady."
The other ponies present watched Rarity leading Karn downstairs, until they were out of sight.
Applejack turned to Twilight. "Now, what do yew s'pose that was all about?"
"I suspect Rarity wants to make sure our guest is neat and prim for the arrival of Princess Celestia," answered Twilight.
"Pffff, yeah! After everything that's happened today, she oughta just lay him out and iron him from head to toe!" quipped Rainbow Dash.
"Oh my goodness, she's not going to do that to him, is she?"
"No, Fluttershy, I'm sure they will both be fine," reassured Twilight. "I made sure I pointed out to Princess Celestia in my latest report that he is a little fragile when dealing with what he went through prior to arriving here," she informed them. She sipped her cider, but the look on her face was one of deep thought. "I am very curious to know what life was like for him back ... well, wherever he was from. Away from the horrific wars it sounds like he's been involved in. I wonder what his family was like?"
"He seems pretty smart, like you! I'm willin' to bet he went through a lot of books 'n stuff too," observed Rainbow Dash. "I bet the two of you will end up spending days just readin' through all these dusty manuscripts you have stocked in that library of yours!"
"You know, Dashie? I actually hope so! I think I'd enjoy that quite a lot!"
"Do you think he likes to dance?" Pinkie Pie asked Twilight.
"Well, Pinkie, nobody has brought up that subject yet, but I'm sure ... "
"I bet he does! I mean, he has that look about him, like he'd be nimble, you know? Like he'd love to move around a lot and not stay still, which suits me, because it's very hard for me to sit still, except for that one time watching paint dry, now THAT was hard work, I don't think I could ever do that again. We need to have a welcoming party for him when he gets better, I bet he loves parties and I know he loves my special drink, we should absolutely get him to come to the grand galloping gala next time that's happening, I bet he'd be the talk of the ball and ... "
"Ugh. Yes, Pinkie, to all of the above."
"Do you think he likes animals?" Fluttershy asked Twilight.
"I think so? Given that we are different species and he seems well disposed to us, that would be a good sign."
"Do you think he ... well ... eats other creatures?" she asked, trembling.
Twilight had to go back through her notes, to observations she had made on his physiology not long after his arrival. "As near as I can tell, Fluttershy, he is an omnivore."
"You mean ... he can eat anything?"
"Well anything that isn't poisonous to him. Humans have incisors, two medial and two lateral, on their top and bottom jaw. They have canines, which indicate that they can eat meat ... " there were gasps from the other ponies "... but they also have premolars and molars, which indicates that they can eat vegetable material. My guess is that as long as his diet includes foods that meet his physiological needs, he shouldn't need to eat meat at all!"
There was a chorus of relieved sighs.
"I still don't understand why Rarity would want to take ahm ... " stumbled Rainbow Dash, as she froze in mid sentence.
Rarity and Karn had made their way back up the stairs from the lab - catching Rainbow Dash's attention in the process.
Rarity made the introduction. "My dears, I present to you the clean and highly presentable Karn of the clan Rolltagen! Ready, just in time, for the arrival of Princess Celestia!"
Karn's appearance was indeed greatly changed. His previously ruffled uniform was now neatly pressed, his boots shined, his hands and face clean, and he stood with a certain amount of pride. Gone was the long hair that he'd been living with for so many years. Gone also was the mustache he had likewise carried from one battlefield to another. His face, now clean shaven, showed his other facial features that had been heretofore hidden. A strong jaw line, a muscular neck, several scars that had long healed. The effect of his having been shorn also made him appear somewhat younger. He looked fresher - less like a 'ruffian' as Rarity had pointed out to him downstairs.
Fluttershy found herself noticing the strong lines of his face, that sweet smile he was showing presently. She followed his strong brow, down to his nose and those loving lips, across the few scars he bore on his cheek, down along his neck, along his broad shoulders and down to his chest. She longed to sit and quietly talk with him as she had done in the hospital. He seemed such a sweet creature.
"Karn!!! You look ... wow! That suits you, real well!" exclaimed Applejack.
Karn was apparently not quite so convinced. "You think so?" he asked as he ran his hand behind his neck, his memory expecting to find long strands of hair but finding nothing more than the tense trapezius across his lower neck and shoulders. "I feel very awkward with my hair having been removed. Rarity, you say this appearance sorts better with your culture?"
"Karn, my dear, I most certainly do."
Karn ran his hand through his shortened but well presented hair, managing a sigh of resignation. "Well then, I shall make the best possible effort to fit in and of course do my utmost to make a good presentation for Princess Celestia."
Rarity called out to them, right on cue. "Princess Celestia's here!"
The Princesses entry to the house was proceeded by several armed guards, the kind which Karn was all too familiar with. Following his friends' lead, he waited until the Princess arrived - and found himself astonished.
He could see at once why such a creature would be elevated to the nobility. She was graceful of course, radiant, she commanded a respect without having to utter a word, or give so much as a glance. Karn found himself momentarily transfixed by this vision of what he was certain was immortality. Noticing that his friends had bowed low to her, he immediately followed suit.
He crossed his right arm over his chest to cover his left breast with his hand, then lowering his left knee to the floor he bent his head fully with his chin resting on his chest. The act was actually one which an adept would use upon graduating from basic training and thus being allowed into the ranks. Given that there was no nobility in his part of the world, the gesture was the most fitting one he could come up with. It seemed the correct action to take, rather than to prostrate himself entirely onto the floor. Doing so would have felt like worship and he was sure that wasn't what this amazing Princess would've have wanted. He wasn't sure how he knew that, it just seemed ... fitting.
"Rise, Karn, you are amongst friends here," he commanded and he found himself eagerly obeying. The voice was gentle, there was a smile within it.
"Thank you, Majesty." he managed, as his other pony friends also rose back onto their four hooves.
"I hope you don't mind my intruding upon your first day around Ponyville, but given the circumstances I thought it would be prudent for me to meet you as soon as possible. I am sorry to hear you are not up for traveling."
"Well, Majesty, I am currently somewhat exhausted but I am glad to say that under the gentle care of your subjects," and he gestured to the other ponies, "my condition continues to improve!"
She smiled at him. "I am certain of that. Shall we sit and continue our introduction? Perhaps over some tea?"
"I'm alllllready on it!" cheered Pinkie Pie. It took little time for the table to be set, although Karn made do sitting on his footstool from earlier. It felt safer than a pony sized wooden chair.
"So how are you finding Ponyville? I hope my subjects have been understanding of your situation!"
"Well, Majesty, it takes all kinds. Some seem to be okay with my being here, others are afraid. I think most of them are just curious."
"Do they have reason to fear you, Karn?"
It was a question he was not expecting so soon. There was no hint of threat or maleficence in that question, just a genuine query about a creature she knew very little about.
"No, Majesty. I ... " he swallowed hard. "I'm what you would call an order adept. I tend to be reflexive when not actively engaged in battle. I am of course soldiery in attack. However, when not doing so, my reactions are geared solely towards defense. To that end, I have these ... reflexes."
"What manner of reflexes?"
"Majesty, adepts have generalized skills. Has Twilight written to you of what I've told her?" he asked. There was an affirmative nod from Princess Celestia. "So yes, we have generalized skills. Great strength, the ability to repair physical wounds very quickly, very fast reflexes. A very few adepts have particular abilities and this is what sets them apart. I was gifted with the ability to dilate or 'bend' time, and to shield myself very strongly against almost any threat. Perfecting these skills meant I rose to the rank of a Secondary Master Adept."
"A Secondary Master adept? Presumably there were also Primary Master Adepts from where you came?"
"Well ... yes Majesty. The skills they have are varied, and incredibly powerful. Some can teleport themselves under objects, through water and such. Some can even absorb energy directly from other adepts. It's difficult to describe, they can reach out and just ... draw the energy directly from them. This leaves the victim essentially immobile and well, that's the end for them. Still others have the power to ... " Karn stopped. He didn't think it appropriate to describe the acts he had seen in the fashion he had meant to describe. How could he - amongst such company?
"Karn ... " the Princess spoke softly. "It is okay. I understand it has been hard for you. But if you are to live with us here, for any length of time, I wish to be certain that it is safe to do so."
He nodded. "Majesty ... some Primary Master Adepts had powers of telekinesis that go beyond any that I would have. I have watched Master Adepts quite literally rip a human being to pieces. Just by using telekinesis. Just ... ripping them apart. Tearing off arms, the jaw, the legs, ripping open the stomach ... just ... eviscerating them while alive," he stammered. He shook his head, unable to continue.
"Karn, I want you to be absolutely honest with me. Do you possess the power to do these things?"
"No, Majesty. I'm a Secondary Master and that is as high as I could possibly rise. I was tested and tested thoroughly for primary abilities, but I had none. I can use telekinesis to move small objects or defend against blows from heavy objects, but nothing more."
"What offensive powers do you possess, beyond those you described to me earlier?"
"I can use energy I store to form blades of raw power from my hands. Again, this is something that I would use when going into battle, rather than finding myself startled."
The Princess sipped her tea a little more and thought upon his answers. "Karn, if you stayed here, do you - within yourself - feel like you would be a direct danger to the lives of any ponies or other creatures here?" She looked at him with these piercing eyes.
"No, Majesty, I cannot conceive of being a danger to anyone. As happened this morning, I suspect the most I would do is feel threatened, shield myself and flee. I've seen enough of the people of the town to realize they are not a threat - and in fact I feel they have saved my life."
A smile crossed the Princesses face. "I have heard of the dedicated care you received whilst recuperating, from one pony in particular".
Karn returned the smile. The subject was of course Fluttershy. "No doubt you refer to my guardian angel."
"Your guardian angel?" asked Princess Celestia.
"Majesty ... I have a brief recollection of arrival at Ponyville Hospital. I was already feeling feverish and quite ill. I was convinced that I was suffering from severe hallucinations, never having been around such magical ponies before," he admitted. There was a solemn nod on the part of Princess Celestia. Clearly she could understand his situation. "As the days progressed, my fever got increasingly worse and my physical pain started to become unbearable. I spent many nights tossing, turning, bolting awake and screaming. I kept reliving the horrors of where I'd come from. Majesty, I have no idea how long this went on for - night after night, day after day, just an unending train of nightmares, cold sweats, vomiting. She ... was always there. I thought she was a figment of my imagination. She would just ... be there . I remember the feeling of her cooling my fever with a damp cloth, her soothing voice. Then finally, there was that one night ... " he stopped and turned his vision back to focus on the center of the table.
"What happened on this particular night?"
"The nightmare. It was the worst I'd had to that point. It was so vivid, so fresh. I could smell the death, I could smell the blood, I could hear the screams, the crashes, the crackling of power being wielded for acts that ... were just unspeakable. When this horrific explosion of entropy struck me, I could feel my skin blistering, I could see it burning off, I could see my own flesh melting away. I remember screaming in the dream, then finding myself facing the hospital wall - just screaming and screaming."
His eyes still fixed upon the table, he took a moment to catch his breath before continuing.
"I remember laying back on my bed - just ... alone. It felt like I had nobody anymore, and nowhere to live. I wasn't sure if I was dead, or alive and in some kind of hell, or out of my mind. I felt so scared - abandoned. After so many days and nights of agony and night terrors, I just .... well, gave up. I wanted to die. I wanted to cease to exist. Well, that's when my guardian angel was at my side suddenly," he smiled. "There she was. I didn't know what she was, or if she was real, and at that point, I didn't care. She just ... gently wiped my face and neck. I didn't care that she wasn't real - or at least in my anguished mind, I assumed she wasn't. Then she offered me absolution. She told me she forgave me! Then she sang this most beautiful lullaby."
Silence ruled the room for a moment.
"She cradled me gently back off to sleep. And after that ... "
He turned back to face Princess Celestia, who was thoughtfully observing him. "That's when the nightmares stopped!"
"The terrors, nightmares, visions stopped? From that moment?"
"Yes!" laughed Karn. "I actually slept and got genuine rest that night! The next morning, I was given some more medication to help with my pain and fever and I was so terrified to sleep - I just didn't want to dream anymore. After struggling against it, I did finally doze off and ... I dreamt."
"What did you dream of?" asked the Princess.
"Of peace! That first dream after that evening ... I remember being in a field, with trees, green grass, clear skies. It was ... peaceful! Beautiful! I remember vividly looking around in my dream and there she was."
"Someone else was in your dream?"
"Indeed she was, Majesty," he stated. He turned to smile at Fluttershy. "Fluttershy was right there with me," he grinned. Fluttershy's eyes grew wide in astonishment. "She didn't say anything, she didn't do anything, she was ... well, just there. That was the pattern that followed after that. Sometimes, I didn't dream at all, or did so but not vividly. Any lucid dream I had, there she was."
He once again faced Princess Celestia.
"Princess, as Twilight has told you, I come from Alsovia, on a planet called Chronos IV. Alsovian society is ruled by clans. There are numerous clans spread through hill country and the lowlands. Most clans get along very well, but in times past there was widespread warfare between them. As time progressed and the desire to trade and we developed a desire to form a defense against outside aggressors, the clans slowly bonded together. Today, we are no longer at war with each other, but after our history we have certain customs. The highest of which, is the sharing of the cup. When one clan meets another, a cup of locally distilled drink, called 'whiskey', is shared between each senior clansman, each of whom takes a drink from the cup. It's a show of trust, a demonstration of friendship and good intentions. We are also renowned throughout many star systems for having ... long memories."
"Are you saying you hold lengthy grudges?" quizzed the Princess.
Karn rolled his eyes. "Oh yes. But, understand Princess, this happens when warranted. If you offend an Alsovian, the offence is remembered. Saying that, if you perform an act of kindness or give aid to an Alsovian, you will have enlisted that person in your service until they draw their last breath. We are a great and honorable people. We do not choose wars or fights, but if we are offered one, we will not turn from them. We are a generous people, we welcome strangers as long as they also partake of the sharing of the cup. The country is largely given to farming, either animal husbandry or horticulture. My own clan is famous for its wines, a drink I am told you do not have here. We live according to a code of honor and respect. Women need not fear to walk through our towns, doors are not locked. Transgressions are rare but harshly dealt with."
"Karn, if this is the society you came from, how did you end up being an adept, battling on foreign fields?"
"I was found at a young age to be possessed of such abilities. My parents were both order adepts and so from a young age I was taken away to commence my training. The basic training of an adept takes approximately thirty of your 'years', from what I've been able to determine from Twilight. Once that training is complete, you are posted to your combat unit and they send you were you are needed."
The Princess decided to press him on other subjects, curious about the day to day lives of these humans.
"Did you have time for celebrations and such where you grew up, Karn?"
Karn eased back on his footrest a little and smiled nostalgically. "Oh, yes, Majesty. At the end of each cycle, we would gather at the Chief's hall. There would be fine wines from our own vineyard, fine whiskey from neighboring clans. There would be music of course - sometimes martial, sometimes jovial and of course music to dance to. We would hold competitions too! Someone would grab a table and cordially demand a feigned slight on his honor be settled with arm wrestling! There was would wagering and the two would wrestle until finally the table itself upon which they rested would be shattered. Getting to their feet, they would embrace and the wagers from the match given to help with the upkeep of the farm. If one was lucky, one would obtain the honor of a dance from a lovely lady of the clan - perhaps of a neighboring clan! The revelry would pass through until dawn, when finally - exhausted from dancing, discussing all kinds of worldly subjects and signing, we would slowly work our way back to our homes to rest."
Karn stared off into the distance for a moment. "I miss it," he whispered, as he turned his vision to the pot of tea sitting on the table. The smile slowly faded from his face and he looked at once forlorn.
There was minute of silence as ponies sipped tea and Karn's eyes seemed intent on Twilight's tea pot.
Princess Celestia gently broke his distracted train of thought. "Karn, I think you mean well. I do not perceive you to be a threat to the ponies here, but I am going to have to ask you to be watched by one of the elements of harmony that you see here."
"... elements of harmony, Majesty?"
"Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. I am entrusting you to their care, to keep a close eye on you. I will be expecting my student Twilight to report to be regularly on how you are progressing. Please understand that I am not doing this out of a dislike for you - but because you are an unknown entity here. Until you are able to come to terms with your 'demons' as Twilight tells me you refer to them, I feel it is prudent for you to be watched."
Karn saw that such an action was pertinent. It made good, solid tactical sense. He could see why Twilight would make such a good student for a ruler such as this.
"I understand, Majesty. Thank you."
"There is one other item I was hoping to discuss with you before I leave. It involves this item that you arrived with."
Karn's heart froze. He could not recall having anything in his hands before his disembodiment. A long, wooden box was raised onto the table before him. He felt his skin crawl. Twilight slowly lifted the lid, and there before him was something he had hoped he would never have to see again. "Oh Jesus fucking Christ !" he spat and pushed back from the table.
"Karn, I'm sorry seeing this has obviously distressed you. This item arrived when you did ... "
"Fuck! ....... FUCK! "
"It's been kept under guard ever since."
" God DAMMIT !!! FUCK!"
".... Karn, calm down! We need you to calm down and get ahold of yourself!" Princess Celestia's voice was suddenly charged with command. It was a tone that even Karn's horror could not possibly argue with.
He slowly calmed himself down, slowing his breathing and releasing the tension in his hands. He just sat there, staring at the contents of the box - the object he'd somehow brought with him.
"Karn, I need you to try and relax and think clearly. We need to know what this is, so we can determine how best to ... "
"You need to destroy it. As soon as possible. It should be crushed, destroyed, buried and forgotten. Such a thing has no place here."
Twilight and Princess Celestia exchanged puzzled glances, before looking back at the shuddering form of Karn. He was glaring at the box with utter hatred.
"Karn ... please. Could you let us know what this is?"
"It's a model TM217 long range sniper rifle," he growled. "It's an energy weapon. It has an incredibly long range, it has a very flat trajectory, a good rate of fire and any adept can recharge it. The scope on the top is to help the soldier aim the thing. Its effective range to target really depends on your field on vision, and in extreme cases the curvature of whatever planet you are on. I refused to operate these things. I can only imagine it was blown next to me when I ... well."
"A 'sniper rifle'?" asked Twilight, gently. "Karn, what's a 'sniper'?"
"A sniper ... " and he breathed heavily, "sends death to you from a distance. A man would cross a path to get a canteen of coffee and the upper half of his body would just explode, showering all nearby with blood and bits of what was once a human being. These energy weapons were designed not just to kill, but to cause maximum carnage to reduce morale. It was fucking effective, alright. You never had any idea where it would come from. You could be talking to a friend one instant and then he would just be all over the trench. You often never saw the bastard that did it. I've watched a chaos adept use one of these to play with a victim. He caught a young soldier in the open, and just cut apart the ground around him, just making him scream in terror. Anyone who made a dash for him was mercilessly blown to pieces. In the end, the poor guy just had enough. He stood up, turned to face the direction the shots were coming from and just let himself be blown in half. Blew his waist and his legs clean off. It still took him ten seconds to die. He cried the whole time."
Karn glared at the rifle in the case.
He looked up at Princess Celestia. The anger, the regret, the disgust over this thing was there in his eyes. "Majesty, I implore you with whatever power, magic or tools you have at your disposal, destroy this evil thing. Destroy it completely, grind it into the soil and grow crops. Make haste to do so. Erase its existence from your world."
"Karn, than you for sharing that with us. I can see it was clearly difficult for you, but we thank you. I shall indeed dispose of it immediately."
The manner in which the Princess had destroyed the rifle was surprising. There had been an astonishingly powerful light - yet it emitted no heat. Shielding his eyes with his hands and grimacing, Karn had turned from the glare. Once the bright light faded, he turned back to find nothing more than a pile of smoldering ashes and small fragments of metal on the table where the rifle had once stood. It astonished him that whilst the weapon was now nothing more than a memory, the table upon which it had sat remained completely unscathed.
Setting aside that part of the visit, the rest of the afternoon's conversation had actually been convivial. Karn had asked a good many questions himself of how things worked in Equestria. He had finally twigged to the concept of "cutie marks". He had assumed they were just strange tattoos until it was pointed out to him that the design of each cutie mark related to the specific skill of the pony.
The Princess had left to return to Canterlot. Feeling somewhat stretched out by what had happened, he had asked Spike where a convenient nearby spot to sit in peace would be, to be alone with his thoughts.
It was thus that he found himself - with Twilight's permission - perched on a branch just outside the same window he'd been so entranced with earlier. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Spike and Pinkie Pie were back inside the house. Karn sat on the branch of the tree growing inexplicably out of the side of Twilight's abode, and tried to be at peace with his thoughts. A slight rustle at the window caught his ear.
Turning, he found himself looking upon his guardian angel. "I hope you don't mind my intruding? I'd understand if you would rather be alone."
He observed her for a moment. "No, Fluttershy - it's fine. I would appreciate your company. Thank you," he smiled. She wriggled her way through the window and sat next to him on the bough. "I'm sorry I'm not very talkative presently, Fluttershy. I just had a lot on my mind."
"I'm sorry that everything has been so hard for you today," whispered Fluttershy. "Is there anything at all I could do to help you feel more relaxed?"
"It's okay, Fluttershy. You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong", he grinned. "It's thanks to you that I'm here at all, remember?" His smile broadened.
Author's Note
I've found music to be deeply inspiring here. The earlier portions of the chapter were written with the astounding Messiah by G. F. Handel playing in my ears.
I am tired and heading to bed.
2017-03-30 POST EDIT:
Numerous small grammatical fixes, especially to dialog.
“Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course."
― Jackie Collins
Karn had found the evening spent sleeping in the barn's loft to be a most enjoyable one. His dreams had been pleasant and the bed was surprisingly comfortable and warm. He had been lying there on his makeshift mattress quietly dozing, when he was gently shaken back to the waking world by a strong pair of hooves.
"Hey, Karn! You awake? It's near sunrise!"
He opened his eyes and his vision was met by a smiling Applejack. "Ahm. Sunrise already?" he mumbled, slowly rubbing the sleep from his eyes and allowing his mind to adjust to reality. "Sorry, I guess I overslept a bit, then. I must've been a good deal more tired than I thought."
"Ah figured you needed some extra sleep. Normally 'round here we're up well before the sun is, but I know how tired you've been. In any case, if you don't come on down now for breakfast, you won't get a chance to meet some of the others livin' here on Sweet Apple Acres. They'll all be headin' off to work and you'll miss 'em."
"I certainly don't want to do that. Do you mind giving me a moment to make myself half decent? Or at least a good deal more decent than I am, presently? I figured I'd at least grab a bird bath and freshen up a little before making an appearance at the breakfast table."
Applejack seemed surprised. Karn's metaphorical speech had struck once again. "Um ... what exactly do you mean by a bird bath , Karn?"
"Huh, sorry about that. Well, whenever we are posted in the field, we don't have the luxury of a full tub of hot water. So we just take the first available container, put some water into that and just wipe ourselves down. So, dipping water out of a bowl, birds bathing in water, taking a bird bath?" Karn made bird imitations with his hands to try and drive across his point to Applejack. After a brief moment, the bit finally fell, so to speak.
"Ah, I get yer meanin'! Well, a bird bath it'll have to be if you want to meet some of the Apple clan. There's a pump fer water and a bucket jest outside the barn. By all means clean off there and head on inside the farmhouse."
"Thanks, AJ. I shall make my person a little more pleasant to be around and be right in."
Applejack started back off down from the loft in the barn. Karn slid out from under his makeshift bed and stretched. He was feeling a good deal healthier this morning than he had been yesterday. The headache was almost gone, he felt physically stronger and the bed that Applejack had put together for him had been something of a perfect fit. There was no residual muscular discomfort of any kind, as one would normally expect after spending a night lying in a strange bed. Briefly stretching his muscles, especially his legs and around his neck, he decided against using the stairs to head down from the loft. Taking a few long strides, he leaped off the guard rail along the upper floor and somersaulted neatly onto the ground. "It looks like I am back in good enough shape to commence exercises and such again," he remarked happily to himself.
Still carrying his jacket, he walked shirtless out the barn doors to the water pump and pail. He worked the handle a few times to fill the bucket. Leaning down, he used his hands to collect some water and splashed it directly into his face. The cold bit him quite sharply, but it certainly helped to wake him a little more. He scooped some more water and gave his hair a rinse, before scooping some more and washing down his chest, under his arms and across his abdomen. He examined the scars that had been left when Doctor Horse had repaired his collapsed lung. They had indeed performed a very good job - the scar itself was not large and was already very well healed.
Having cleaned himself as well as he could, he was then able to locate enough material in the barn to dry himself with, before putting on the tunic Rarity had made for him. Thus being as presentable as he could manage, he made his way happily towards the farm house. Feeling a good deal more rested and fitter than he had been for some time, he proceeded to perform a series of front aerial rolls towards the farmhouse. Applejack, observing his tumbling, was impressed yet surprised.
"Dang, Karn, you sure must be feelin' better if you can be kickin' around like that!"
"Thank you, AJ. I do indeed feel a lot more alive today than I have been. Once breakfast is through, I'm going to have to get in some stretches and exercise to see how I go."
"Well, don't you go overdoin' anything yet. We don't want yer to get injured again, jest as soon as you start feelin' better. Come on inside and meet everyone!"
The kitchen of the farmhouse was fitting for one associated with such a large farm. The dining area combined with that used for the preparation of victuals. It was warm and cozy, and as with so many of the farm houses he was familiar with from his own universe, it had this warm and friendly atmosphere.
There was no drama here. There was nothing here that was not necessary to aid the family in its quest to maintain the farm itself.
Clearly the morning meal had been prepared with a speed that only came with practice. The meal itself was oatmeal, which Karn enjoyed with a little milk to cool it and some honey for sweetness. It was the kind of meal he'd had many times before on his own family's vineyard - what made this particular breakfast interesting was of course the company.
"Karn, ah'd like you to meet some of the Apple clan! Over here doin' the cookin' is Granny Smith, right here in mah brother Big Mac whom ya met last night and of course this little filly here is Apple Bloom!"
"Please to meet you, again!" the young Apple Bloom remarked.
Karn could recall the last time he'd seen her. It had been the prior morning, just outside the hospital. "Ah yes, I remember. I'm sorry I panicked a little and took off the way I did."
"You'd oughta be ashamed of yerself!" chided Granny Smith. "Runnin' off an' scarin' folks like that!"
"Granny, he didn't mean to! He just kinda ... well ..." interrupted Applejack.
"I panicked, is what happened," frowned Karn. "I apologize for behaving the way I did. I just wasn't quite prepared to be surrounded by so many new faces asking so many questions. It's a little odd being the center of attention for me."
"Well, you better be on yer best manners here at the table! Human or no, ain't no reason to be runnin' off on ponies like that!"
"I'll be sure to improve my behavior in future, ... um .... " Karn looked a little worriedly at Applejack, before whispering, "what should I call her? Out of respect?"
"Jest Granny Smith will be fine!" Applejack whispered back.
"I shall be sure to behave far better in future, Granny Smith. I do apologize again."
"Hmmm. Well, y'all sit down and eat up, there's a right long list a chores ta be done today 'round here!"
The four ponies sat down to eat their oatmeal, with an additional place set up for their human visitor. Applejack had very thoughtfully made sure that Karn's place was in a position where he could face the open door to the kitchen. "Umm, AJ? Did you set my place here, facing the doorway?"
"Well, yeah! I figured ... y'now, since you weren't keen on having yer back to doorways ..."
Karn felt at once touched. Fancy them remembering little things like that. "Thank you," he smiled, the gratitude he felt being warm and genuine.
The seat was a little small for Karn, but he felt it too impolite to make a fuss after being offered such fine hospitality. Apple Bloom made sure she sat as near to Karn as she could. Evidently she found the concept of a human to be an interesting one.
"So, Mr. Karn, what's it like ta be a hoo-min?" she asked.
"Well, for one thing, you can just call me Karn."
"Isn't that a might disrespectful?" asked Applejack.
"Not really," he chuckled. "I mean, nobody has ever called me anything else, and Mr. Rolltagen makes it sound like she'd be addressing my father."
"You don't wanna be called 'The Club' either, I guess?"
Karn almost choked on his oatmeal. "Um, no thank you, AJ," he replied, turning back to Apple Bloom. "Just 'Karn' is fine, my dear. If you really wanted to be formal, you could call me Sergeant Karn."
"Sergeant Karn? Like when you were a soldier?"
"Well, yes, that was when I was a soldier. For now, I really don't know what I am, though. If I'm to be here in Equestria for some time, I'm going to need a better trade," he observed. He looked down at Apple Bloom and gave her a smile. "What do you think, Miss Bloom? What kind of job could you see me doing?"
"Well ... I guess as yer tall and strong, you could help with buildin' and fixin' houses? Or some of our barns and sheds?"
"Now that is a very nice thought. That's certainly something I'm used to doing. It so happens, I grew up on a farm as well."
"Hoo-mins have farms?"
"We most certainly do! We were very proud of ours."
"Do some hoo-mins have wings or horns, like ponies do?"
"I'm afraid not, Miss Bloom. We are very much earth bound creatures, unless we are using machines to help us fly. I can also state for the record that we most certainly do not have horns."
"Is it true that you eat other creatures?"
"Apple Bloom , how dare you ask our guest somethin' like that!" growled Applejack.
"No, that's okay, she's just curious. You see, Miss Bloom, humans are called 'omnivores'. That means that while yes, we can eat meat, we don't necessarily have to. I can live just as well on plants, berries, fruits, vegetables and of course this wonderful oatmeal."
"Do you like it here as much as where you came from?"
It would have been a rhetorical question, had it been asked by anyone other than an innocent youth. How on earth could one compare the peace of Equestria to the battered hell he'd left behind? "I most certainly do. In fact, I'm a lot happier here in Equestria than I was back home."
"But, don't you miss yer friends and family?"
Applejack looked up at Karn, a spoonful of oatmeal halfway to her mouth. Karn caught her eye as well and the unspoken answer to Apple Bloom's question was clearly shared between them. "Well ... yes, I do miss my friends, Miss Bloom, and certainly my family. But my friends ..." he started, then paused to try and form the words into a manner that would be fitting to pass along to a young child or filly.
'My friends,' he thought, 'splashed across the ground, blown to bits, blown quite out of their minds, cut to pieces, burned alive, buried alive.'
"... well, they will always be my friends, no matter where they are."
"Karn, why is yer hand shakin'?" Apple Bloom asked.
Karn glanced down in surprise - his hand was indeed trembling, but he hadn't noticed. "Oh! I just, well, after having been sick for so long, my hands are still a little ... well, they misbehave a bit now and then," he smiled at her.
It had taken some effort on his part to play so foolishly, but bringing up his friends was something that had clearly shaken him. Turning back to continue his oatmeal, he found Applejack resting a hoof gently on his left arm. She spoke not a word, just looked at him, the question 'are you okay' just behind her eyes. He managed a nod and a tired smile, before breakfast continued.
"Hey!! Is anypony home?" came a boisterous voice from the front door of the farm house.
"Yeah, c'mon in, Rainbow Dash! Yer jest in time for some breakfast, if yer hungry?"
"No thanks! I've already eaten before flyin' out here."
Karn was a little mindful of the early hour. "Dashie, isn't it a little early in the morning to be heading out to see Fluttershy?"
"Actually, she'd be getting up soon to take care of her animals anyway, and I figured I might as well head over here and visit with you all for a bit."
"While ahm a-thinkin' about it, Dashie, could you let Pinkie know somethin' if you see her on tha way over to Fluttershy's?"
"Sure thing!"
"We were thinkin' of celebrating Karn's birthday here in two weeks, and we were goin' ... "
"Hey, it's your birthday in two weeks???"
Karn managed a smile of resignation. "Well, no, not really. Since I don't actually recall when my birthday was, we made an impromptu decision last night to just give me one in two weeks time. As the precise date is unknown, choosing an arbitrary one and just ... well, throwing a party anyway seemed like the thing to do."
"That's pretty weird! But I can just see the look on Pinkie's face when she hears about it!" laughed Rainbow Dash.
"So as ah was sayin', if you see Pinkie, can you let her know that we've got us a birthday to plan, on Friday in two weeks time. It'll be an open invitation, ah reckon. Anypony is welcome to come along."
"Consider it done!" exclaimed Rainbow dash.
Karn noticed something amongst the spice containers in the kitchen. "Would that ... well, happen to be baker's yeast that you have there on your counter?"
"Mmm hmm! It surely is!" replied Granny Smith.
"Is there anywhere around Ponyville that I might purchase some?" asked Karn, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Wah, yes! There's always some at the markets!"
"We can go past there on our way out to see Fluttershy if you wanna?" suggested Rainbow Dash. "But ... why in Equestria would you be wantin' baker's yeast? I'm even guessin' you could get some from Sugarcube Corner if you were that keen! Are you plannin' on bakin' something?"
"Well, you might say that. I was also wondering if I might exchange some work around the farm for a few bottles of your apple cider, if I may?"
"Well, shoot, ah don't mind that?" responded Applejack, before her smile was replaced with a look of concern. "Karn, are you up ta somethin'?"
"In fact I am, but it's a bit of a surprise. Just a bit of a tradition from my home town."
"Well, okay, I guess. Maybe we kin' all catch up somewhere after you visit Fluttershy?"
Breakfast having been completed, Karn helped clear away the dishes and offered to do the washing and drying - insisting this was the least he could do after having been offered such a comfortable place to sleep for the night.
The dishes thus put away, Karn ventured back outside with Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Apple Bloom to begin his journey across town to Fluttershy's cottage. Feeling reinvigorated and eager to stretch, he took off at a sprint and performed several aerials, terminating his run with a succession of backward flips.
"Wow! Where'd you learn to do things like that?" asked Apple Bloom.
"I've had a very long time to practice. You need to be able to master dexterity and balance. Not only does it mean you have to stay flexible, it helps keep you in better shape," he explained. Karn performed a series of one handed cartwheels back towards the other ponies, stopping just short of them. "Since I'd arrived here, I'd been in too much pain to really get out and stretch a great deal. I'm feeling a lot better at the moment!"
"Well, that tumblin' around is all very well, but you still can't fly!"
"Hah! Well, that's true. I'm sorry if we have to walk to visit Fluttershy, Dashie. If I could fly, I most certainly would."
"I don't mind! We might as well get goin' though. Fluttershy's cottage is over the other side of the town, so there's still a fair walk. Maybe I can show you parts of the market area on our way through?"
"That sounds wonderful to me! Please, lead on!" Karn was feeling in high spirits once more and was in fact looking forward to giving his legs a good stretch. His natural walking pace was in fact fast enough to necessitate Rainbow Dash's flying slowly beside him, instead of walking.
"You sure walk fairly fast for someone who only uses two legs!" she remarked finally.
"I'm sorry, did you want me to walk a little slower?"
"What, are ya kiddin' me? I'm just relaxing!"
"Then we're of the same mind! The country side here is lovely. Much better than the pock marked, mud smothered shithole that I left behind," remarked Karn, looking sideways out over the apple trees and the distant rolling hills.
"Karn ... what are ya goin' to do if they find a way to, you know, send you back where you came from?"
Karn's walking pace slowed to a stop. He stared at the ground in front of him, motionless.
"Umm ... are you okay?" asked Rainbow Dash.
Momentarily, Karn was oblivious to anything else around him. He looked at the dirt on the path leading away from Sweet Apple Acres ... only in his mind, the path began to contort. It began to become wetter, large holes began to open in it, the sweet green trees morphed into dead, splintered ruins, and at the back of his mind he could hear them. The voices - screaming, crying, pleading. A large, heavy set man in an officer's uniform stood in front of him, holding a severed head in his hand and addressed him. "Well? ... What are you waiting for? ... We can't stay here all day! ... Well? Hello? Anyone home?!?"
The vision of horror suddenly vanished as quickly as it had commenced, and he found himself staring into the face of a very confused Rainbow Dash. "Hello??? Karn, anythin' goin' on in there?"
"Ah, Dashie!! I ... sorry!"
"Ah, yeah, I just sorta mentioned you going back and you just kind of ... went all quiet. I hope I didn't upset you?"
Karn found himself shaking. "Dashie ... I think I need to sit down."
They walked slowly to the side of the track, where Karn sat on the ground and rested his back against the well cared for fence. Rainbow Dash sat near his feet, looking very concerned. "Do you want me to get someone, Karn? Like, the Doctor?"
"No, thanks, Dashie. I'll be okay. I just had a bit of a flashback."
"A flashback?" she asked.
"Yeah. A bad one. Not as bad as the nightmares I'd had, but this one was strong."
"What in Celestia's name is a 'flashback'?"
Karn took a deep breath, and tried to calm his shaken nerves. "Dashie, sometimes when you go through certain things, your mind likes to keep track of them. This isn't normally a bad thing. You remember doing something and how it hurt you, so your brain reminds you not to do that again."
"Well yeah, that makes sense. What's that got to do with ..."
"Sometimes, you go through things that are ... particularly awful, and your brain tends to remember those and then it goes and recalls them. If what you've experienced is bad enough, it can often recall them quite suddenly and at unexpected times. Those recollections can be startlingly real and very terrifying."
"I'm sorry, Karn, was that because of what I asked you?"
"That triggered it, I think. But there's nothing to apologize for! It's my brain that's broken, not yours!" He tried to smile at her, to help her feel a little less guilty. It didn't work though and she looked a little downtrodden. "Hey, Dashie, it would always be worse. Imagine if your mind just began arbitrarily recalling Pinkie's pranks on you. Several times a day and at random!"
"Huh, yeah. I guess that'd be funny."
"Think about it! Pushing for one of your speed records I hear about, then suddenly finding yourself staring at Pinkie dressed as a chicken!"
Finally, Rainbow Dash broke into a laugh. "Pfff, yeah. I guess. I'm still sorry about what I just did, though."
"Don't mention it, Dashie. No, I mean, really , don't mention it. I'm just a little damaged. It might take me some time for my brain to start to 'forget' some of those things and remember the pleasant things instead."
The two friends finally made their way out of Apple Acres and into the western side of Ponyville, not too far from the Golden Oaks Library. "That's somewhere I'll have to visit more often when we have some free time," remarked Karn.
"I knew it!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash. "I had told Twilight that the two of you were probably into books!"
"... am I to take it that you've been holding a wager about whether or not I'm inclined to read?"
"Well, not a wager exactly. I mean, we didn't actually bet anything, but I just ..." she spluttered. She could see the way Karn was smiling at her - clearly he was just jesting. "Ah, knock it off!" she huffed.
"Sorry, Dashie. Sometimes a conversation flows somewhat like a game of chess, and control of the center of the board is vital."
"What's chess ??"
"It's a shame you don't play it here. I'll have to how you sometime. I think Twilight would probably enjoy it more, though."
They continued their walk further to the east and through part of the Market Row. All kinds of things seemed to be out for sale. Karn was curious about the goods on offer, but of course not having any ready currency, viewing the wares for sale was all he could do. He did make a note of where to locate a source of yeast, though. Whilst he did intend to use baker's yeast to brew alcohol from the fruit juice in the apple cider (which could be done, though the taste might be a little odd), he was hoping to keep this little side drink to himself. Not out of a motivation for greed, but because he wasn't sure that adding alcohol to the diets of ponies would be at all an intelligent idea.
"Well, we're nearly there. Just over the brook here!"
Rainbow Dash led Karn over a bridge spanning a brook - by all accounts known as the "Bucephalus Brook". The water appeared clean and flowed gently. Clearly, sanitation was a strong point amongst these ponies. It was apparent that they had reached Fluttershy's cottage - directly on the opposite side of the bridge was a large tree, well stocked with bird houses. Birds of various colors and varying sizes flew amongst the trees, feeding from well-stocked feed stations. Other trees nearby sported nests for larger birds, holes within trees suggested the presence of owls and a good many small forest creatures scurried around the grounds of what happened to be a very lovely looking cottage.
Like so many other buildings in Ponyville that he'd observed, it seemed that it was half house and half tree. It was difficult to locate the precise points at which the existence of the one ended and the other began - but the effect was a pleasing one! The dwelling was cozy looking, lovely, picturesque - 'very much like the owner' Karn thought to himself.
The two made their way across the brook, to the front door of the cottage. Karn knocked softly on the door, expecting to be greeted by Fluttershy herself. The door instead opened to reveal a white rabbit who appeared somewhat impatient. It looked up at Karn with a scowl that suggested he was not going to be trusted. It made him think of the way Rainbow Dash had viewed him when he was still on Ponyville hospital.
"Angel Bunny, I'd like ya to meet Karn! Karn, this is Fluttershy's pet, Angel Bunny", Rainbow Dash introduced them. Karn held out his hand to the annoyed looking white rabbit, expecting it to want to at least shake hands. If he was being introduced thus to a rabbit, it was clear that the thing must be very intelligent - well beyond comprehending simple sentences. Angel was having none of it. Ignoring Karn's outstretched hand, he just stood there arms akimbo and continued to scowl.
Withdrawing his hand, Karn pressed a little further. "Well, good morning, Angel. Dashie and I were here to see Fluttershy, if she's around?" he asked. The rabbit pointed back into the cottage with a paw, and with that he left the door open for the visitors to enter. Karn turned to Rainbow Dash. "Is it something I did? I've never seen a rabbit that sapient before, and he quite clearly wasn't fond of me," observed Karn.
"Ah, don't worry about it. Angel is pretty well always a bit on the angry side. Fluttershy is about the only one of us he'll put up with," explained Rainbow Dash.
A familiar soft voice emanated from further inside. "Angel Bunny, how rude of you to treat our guests like that! Please, come in!" Fluttershy was busily engaged with making breakfast for the animals that she had with her in the cottage. Karn was surprised at how well organized and neat everything was, considering this abode was quite clearly shared by a lot of different animals. Everything from birds, to small rodents. It was like walking into a zoo, where the walls had been removed and the creatures within had been given a higher level of intelligence.
The combination of the sounds of the creatures, the way in which the cottage was built and the company he was sharing - Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy - it all felt beautiful and very peaceful. A curious kind of peace, not related to sound, as the animals themselves were making quite a ruckus, but a peace built on care and kindness. There was no hate here, no anxiety, no feeling of loneliness or pain. It was just peaceful - and Karn found himself loving this place very much. He fought back the desire to be holding a rifle and just try to adjust to the surprising calm of his surroundings.
He observed the smaller animals on the floor and knelt down next to them. They appeared to be squirrels - normally very intolerant of anyone getting near them. He gently held out his hand towards one of them, and tried to entice it to come closer. The squirrel observed him cautiously for some time, eyeing him up and determining if he was a threat. Then slowly, testing the waters as it were, the animal gingerly clawed up onto his hand. It stood there and chattered at him, and to his amazement it appeared to be smiling at him.
"He says that he's pleased to meet you," explained Fluttershy, who had been observing this interaction.
"Well, I'm pleased to meet him, too!" exclaimed Karn. He actually felt very pleased - he'd never been able to approach an animal like this before. As a human and therefore a great curiosity to them, several other critters made their way over towards him. Karn slowly slid down to the floor such that he was prone and held both of his hands out. "I'm pleased to meet all of you," he said, as others climbed onto his hands. A mixture of chitters and chatters reached his ears - it all sounded like it was positive, so he returned the smiles that they were giving him.
"My goodness, they all really seem to like you! Normally they're a little afraid around strangers, but they're certainly fond of you! Most of them are asking questions about who you are and where you're from, and what kind of animal you are," explained Fluttershy.
"I see, I am being asked questions again," grinned Karn. "Very well, I shall commence the lecture! My name is Karn Rolltagen and I am a human. I come from a place that's ... well, either far away or doesn't exist anymore. I am therefore presently living here in Ponyville," he explained, as clearly as he could to all the creatures now examining him. They climbed onto his head, his back, along his legs, examining his boots and generally checking him out. He found the experience wonderful - it was like playing on the floor with a lot of curious children! "As you can see, I do not have a great deal of fur, beyond that on my head. I appear large, but I assure you I mean none of you any harm. As a visitor here, I therefore extend to you all my heart felt thanks for your hospitality," he continued. Finally, satisfied that he was indeed safe to be around, the critters climbed off him and returned to their breakfast and their homes.
'I have never seen my friends so calm around a stranger like this before' thought Fluttershy to herself. She observed him still lying on the ground, playing with a few young raccoons that had made their way over. He was so gentle with them - and they trusted him so implicitly! It was as if they just knew he was trustworthy.
Karn turned to look up towards her. "Fluttershy? I'm sorry if I was bothering your friends. I just wanted to meet them, they seemed really nice."
"No, Karn, that's okay! I'm glad they like you. They don't take so well to strangers and yet they love you," she said.
Karn tried once again to get back into training. Rolling rapidly up and forwards into a handstand, he slipped himself back up and onto his feet. The animals in the room were surprised by this sudden movement, but didn't seem to be too scared by it. "I hope my sudden movements didn't frighten any of them? That was a bit foolish of me, I'm sorry."
"Well, they didn't seem to be too freaked out about it! It's a shame you don't have wings, I bet ya could pull off some cool stunts!" noted Rainbow Dash.
"Hah, well if I did, I'm sure I wouldn't be up to your standards. I think I'd be good at just doing maneuvers whilst floating in the same place."
"Um, Karn, would you like to see where my friends and I live?" asked Fluttershy.
"I would love that very much."
Fluttershy lead Karn around her cottage and once again he felt a certain amazement at the way ponies were able to construct houses from the inside of trees in this curious fashion. The front room was graced with a large rug adorned with a flower, which he thought was appropriate. A rather cozy looking green couch and a similar chair lay against one wall, near a stair case leading upstairs. Climbing the steps proved to something of a challenge, since they were pony size. With care, he was able to make his way upstairs without damaging anything, although he once again had to bend down substantially to fit in through the doorway.
The second story was very cozy. It was equipped with a fireplace, somewhat smaller than the one downstairs. Several bird houses hung from the exposed rafters, along with nests in a few places. It surprised him once more that the place was still so clean and well organized, even with the room being quite clearly shared by various animals at times. A pony sized double bed lay against the far wall, with a large chest at the foot. He assumed the chest was for bed linen and such. A bedside table held a lantern, a few books and some pictures.
'It is elegant', he thought to himself, 'organized, and ... well, pretty I think is the word I'm looking for, though it's an odd word to use,' he mused. "It's very beautiful, Fluttershy! It's a lovely home you have here - very peaceful. I love your other friends there, too!" he smiled to her.
Fluttershy appeared a little flustered but accepted the praise gratefully. "Thank you! I'm glad you like the cottage, I've always found it lovely and peaceful out here on the edge of town."
"Hey, don't ya think it's time to head out to show Karn where he arrived here?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Oh my goodness, I'd forgotten, I was going to offer you some tea first, but since you ..."
"Actually, a cup of tea sounds lovely, if you don't mind? There'll be plenty of time to start the forensic work afterwards."
Fluttershy lead the two of them downstairs and brewed some tea. As a treat, they even shared some cupcakes made by Pinkie. Karn, having learned his lesson, went easy on the cupcake. He didn't want to go through the surreal experience he had the last time Pinkie had fed him anything.
He found himself in a relaxed mood - sipping his lemon tea, observing the animals that not only frequented Fluttershy's house, but also outside. When the other ponies had explained to him that her gift was for animals and other creatures, they certainly weren't kidding. It was the harmony he felt within his present situation. In times gone by, a meeting of friends was usually in a large shell hole, or behind a scrape, in a dugout or hiding underground. The meetings were rapid, quick, a few remarks, a quick laugh, but always the feeling of being a wound up spring - being ready for action at any instant. It made such times spent together somewhat awkward - almost as if you were having a conversation with someone who was only half there - one half was listening to you, the other concentrating on looking for danger. To be seated here, albeit on a pony sized stool, sipping tea, enjoying wildlife that ran free and fearless. The contrast between his previous life and his 'new' life was both breathtaking, yet baffling. He felt like he should be ready for action. That he should have his rifle ready, that he should have his kit with him and his medical gear - that he should be ready to draw energy to form blades of pure power at a moment's notice. Yet here, there was no need for such things. Indeed the concept of such would be anathema to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
No rifle, no readiness to wield energy. It was a curious, naked, unnerving sensation he began to feel. He wondered if his hands were beginning to look pale and feel sweaty.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy cut short their conversation when they noticed Karn sitting there. He was holding his cup of tea halfway to his face - but the look on his face and the manner in which his eyes were fixed, almost like he was looking at something a thousand miles away, something other worldly obviously. They'd seen him like this before, and it was troubling.
Fluttershy gently reached out and touched his free hand. His face jerked suddenly as his eyes once more focused on the room he was in and of course the company he had. "Oh ... sorry, Fluttershy ... I was just off thinking about ..."
"Were you thinking about where you came from?" she asked delicately. "I've seen that look on your face a few times."
'My God, she'd noticed that?' thought Karn to himself. 'Beautiful, kind, considerate, sweet natured, sensitive ... and observant ... she also makes wonderful tea,' he continued. "Fluttershy, I was just thinking about the difference between being here, sharing tea with both of you, and what it was like meeting friends back ... well, back there ."
"Were you having one of those flash back things again?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Flash ... flash backs?" squeaked Fluttershy. "Oh my, that sounds awful!"
"Well, they're not very nice. It's all related to trauma, Fluttershy, as I was explaining to Dashie earlier. Sometimes when you experience something very traumatic, your brain likes to record it for you. It's something your brain normally does. You know, so when you burn your hand on a hot stove, you remember not to do it again."
"I guess that makes sense," whispered Fluttershy.
"But with very severe trauma ... well, your brain likes to replay your experiences. It likes to drag out those memories and play them back, almost like they're real again," he explained. He looked at his tea cup for a moment as the two ponies silently watching him. "Sometimes you remember odd things you did because they relate to where you are presently. Sitting here with you and drinking this lovely tea ... " he observed, as he looked up at Fluttershy's eyes. He could spend eternity just looking into those cyan pools. "... well, I began thinking about meeting up with my friends where I came from and how different that was. I mean ... I'm sitting here, perfectly safe, yet I'm so used to having a rifle with me, or to be treating an injured friend in a scrape somewhere, or hurriedly throwing down some lukewarm coffee. And always having an eye out for danger, listening for danger, constantly on alert for danger ... you get wired to do it automatically, Fluttershy," he finished. He gently lifted the cup to his mouth and drank the last of the lemon tea, enjoying the lovely flavor as it ran over his tongue, and the scent of it as it filled his nostrils. "I'm sorry I get that way sometimes, Fluttershy."
"Oh Karn, I'm sorry that having tea like this upset you ..." she began, apologetically.
"No! Oh no, no, no Fluttershy!" exclaimed Karn, learning forwards. "Please don't misunderstand! I love being here sharing this experience with you! The tea, incidentally, is absolutely wonderful. But it's just the act of sitting with friends that made me think back like that! The mind is an incredible machine, Fluttershy, sometimes ... well, it becomes broken a little and it takes some time for it to put itself back together. I am ... well, broken, Fluttershy. I will need some time to heal and to let go of habits and horrors that have programmed me to be what I am," he reached his hand out and gently held her hoof. "I need to thank you for being so patient with me, Fluttershy. You too, Dashie. You've all been very patient and understanding about this ... cracked mind of mine," he lamented. "Thank you for allowing a creature who is malfunctioning to be a part of your group, and a friend of yours."
"Karn, we all love you! We're just worried about you. We'll do anything we can to help ya feel better," stated Rainbow Dash.
"Yes, we'd love to help you get better! I'm so sorry you have so many bad memories," added Fluttershy.
"Well, now that we've finished this wonderful tea and incredibly strong cupcakes, I'd like to see where it is that I landed, if you wouldn't mind?"
"Oh, yes of course!" agreed Fluttershy. "It's not very far from my cottage."
The three friends ventured outside and along a dirt track that towards the Everfree Forrest - a place very much out of bounds as near as Karn could tell. It appeared to be more or less like any forest that he'd seen where he was from - at least, what a forest looked like before it was bombarded from space, blow apart by artillery and chopped down to reinforce positions.
They finally walked to a place on the dirt track, where the grass was still growing after having clearly been burnt quite severely. In a few places, the dirt had in fact been melted into a glass substance and the ground cover had been unable to grow through it. It was as if his arrival here had scarred the very ground.
"Well, this was where it happened," pointed out Fluttershy. "When you appeared, Pinkie and I were playing with our pets just over there," she indicated further down the track towards her cottage, "when there was a quiet crackling at first. It was sort of like distant thunder, then it got incredibly loud. There was this bright light and what sounded like an explosion, and when it cleared ... well ... you were there, on the ground ... badly hurt," she continued.
Karn turned from Fluttershy to look back at the ground. Nothing about it seemed to give him any clues as to what had transpired. He carefully knelt down and reached out his hand, gently trying to sense energy or power. There was a very faint hint of it - like someone had made a recording of a recording of a recording - it was faint, but still there. He closed his eyes to help him concentrate more. The residual power was tied up within the matrix of the grains of sand - almost like they had become a slate upon which his arrival had been recorded. It had obviously been very strong, but it didn't 'feel' like the kind of power he was used to, raw energy - lightning, fire, electricity. It had an odd signature, almost as if one expected to find a positive charge, but was instead faced with a negative one. Or indeed a mixture of such polarities, where he'd expect just one. This indicated some kind of a great confusion - almost as if something had torn itself here.
He stood up slowly, the hard concentration fixed on his face. He'd come up with a theory of how he arrived. It was just that, nothing more than a theory, and it was a crazy one. If the entropy - the joining of raw chaos and raw order during that battle - had enveloped him, just as he was shielded and dilating time, what if he had somehow been ... 'burnt' through the fabric of the universe he was in? What if that sensation of timelessness, of being but not being, was just his existence outside of his original universe, existing as nothing more than pure energy? If he had somehow struck another universe, where universes are assumed to be infinite, then that may explain how he ended up here .
How long had it taken between his 'death' in his former world and his arrival in this one? What had happened to the others in his own universe if this was the case? Technically, if he now existed here, then the universe he came from didn't really exist anymore. Even if it did, with infinite universes it would be impossible to locate where he was from, and on his arrival on any similar world would be just that - the creation of yet another branch of an existing universe.
If this was the case, even just being a theory as it was, he was here forever. He needed to talk this over with Twilight. He needed to ... he needed to dig.
Dig?
Dig. To be safe.
The ground around him had become a wasteland while he'd been standing there thinking. The green forest was gone, now nothing more than shattered stumps and shell holes. The rain was incessant, filling the holes that had opened in the ground before him. The sickly sweet smell of decaying flesh reached his nose, as all around him exhausted men marched forwards and armored carriers crossed the sea of mud. The mist of the rain made it hard to see - but he could hear the orders. His platoon was with him - advancing in arrow formation as best they could over the open ground, his lieutenant holding their position as strongly as possible. There was a roar to his half left - a massive explosion that shook the ground and spewed chunks of earth into the misty air. Someone shouted 'CONTACT FRONT' and they advanced to battle.
The enemy had been so close that Karn abandoned his rifle and instead seized the power and formed blades extending from his hands. With a scream, their platoon charged into what there was of the chaos adepts in their advanced position. Blow met blow, fist met face as men beat and stabbed at each other. Blood, teeth and body parts began to fly, as the soldiers - fueled with adrenaline and rage - attempted to butcher each other as desperately as possible.
The soldier Karn was facing was obviously comparatively inexperienced. His tunic was relatively new and he did not have the service chevrons one would expect to find on a seasoned soldier. With one last desperate thrust, Karn rammed his left energy blade clear though the young adept's stomach. The stench of blood and flesh being burned with power filled the air, as the man's abdomen began to smoke and bubble - the heat of the blade actually cooking him from within. The man's eyes were wide open, staring directly at Karn - just as he brought his other blade across and severed the man's head at the neck. His blow had in fact been so swift, that it had not quite cauterized the arteries in his neck, and blood gushed momentarily into the air from what was left of his body.
That head.
Karn had fought so many battles and had butchered other humans in many different ways. He'd beheaded enemy soldiers with energy blades, cleaved them in two from the shoulder to the hip, cut them in half - clear through the spine - at the abdomen. So many legs, arms, disemboweled enemy solders, some of them pleading with Karn to finish them to end their pain. Over and over, battle after battle ... so many dead.
That head.
It had rolled into the forward chaos position and remained there - its lifeless eyes still staring up at Karn.
That head.
All the other heads.
All of the death he had helped spread.
The widows he'd made, the fatherless children he'd created, the tearful fiancés he'd helped bring to hysterical screams, the families ruined.
So many dead men. So many unmarked graves. Weeping mothers without so much as a stone monument to cry over.
He stared at the blades of power extending from both his hands.
He fell to his knees. The ground seemed somewhat firmer than he expected. The rain had stopped - the sound of fighting ... it had gone. He slowly raised his face to look around and found himself kneeling on the dirt track next to the forest. He was still holding onto the blades of pure energy in his hands. His breathing was rapid and he was sweating.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had retreated a certain distance away from him. Rainbow Dash looked at him cautiously, whilst Fluttershy seemed terrified. Why were they frightened?
The blades.
He realized he was still holding the power, those blades extending from his hands. He looked at them a little incredulously, then released the power and the blades faded away, leaving him once more unarmed. He slowly looked around at the green field he was in, at the curious forest and towards the clear blue sky.
The things he had done! The pain he had caused! Guilty!
'I am guilty of these things - guilty of all of them, guilty of an endless list of crimes committed in the name of order,' he lamented. 'What kind of order was that? What kind of order spreads its ideals in that fashion? Why have I survived, when guilty of such crimes, I should have been incinerated along with the rest of my platoon?'
Falling forward onto his hands, he burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, Christ, what did I do?!?" he heaved through his tears. "What have I done? Why did I do those things, commit those crimes, fucking why?" He stared at the ground with his tears pattering the burnt earth, very much like the rain drops in his flash back.
He could hear the footsteps approaching him. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash cautiously made their way towards him.
"Karn, are you okay now? I guess that must've been a really nasty flashback you just had," offered Rainbow Dash.
Karn, controlling his sobbing once more, could only manage a slow nod.
Fluttershy slowly came over to him and carefully sat next to him. He'd expected her to run from him, or admonish him - to berate him for the horrific deeds he'd committed.
Instead she raised her hooves to his shoulders, and looked into his eyes. "Karn ... I can never understand what you must have gone through. I know that it must have been horrific and tragic for you, and that you ..." she shuddered a little, "... had to kill a lot of your fellow humans in that war you keep mentioning ... but I know that you have remorse for what you did. I think you had remorse at the time you did those things, it's in your nature. Karn, you are not there anymore. You are here, with us. And whatever you've done in your past, you're not going to do here. I won't let you. I intend to help fix that poor, 'broken' mind of yours and help you be happy again!"
"Fluttershy ..... can you forgive me? For all those deaths? For those widows? For the fatherless .... "
The way he spoke was so filled with anguish and regret, it broke her heart - both because of what it had done to him, and because of the results of what he'd been forced to do. "Karn, I forgive you. I think you're better than that, whatever horrible things you did, you were in an awful place, filled with horrible people and awful things. You don't have that now. I forgive you, Karn, I really do - I really care for you, and I'm not going to abandon you!" She wiped the tears off her cheeks before placing her hooves back onto his shoulders. "Karn, I am going to help you mend that poor, broken mind of yours! Even if I have to take it out and use wood glue!" she exclaimed. She even managed a smile.
Karn looked back into Fluttershy's eyes. "You really do forgive me?"
She managed a gentle laugh. "Yes, Karn! I forgive you! We all do - and we want to help heal you!" she replied.
"Fluttershy, thank you." Karn muttered. A soft, thankful smile crept across his lips.
Still shaken, he stood slowly and again glanced at the spot upon which he had landed in this world.
"I think I may have a theory regarding how I got here," he said softly. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy looked at each other in surprise. "We need to see Twilight - I think I have a few things to discuss with her."
Author's Note
Shellshock - the primary basis for this particular chapter. The horrors of modern mechanized warfare, combined with almost Napoleonic tactics. These have combined to turn what were one just place names, into words we associate with mass, industrial death. The Somme. Ypres. Verdun. Villers-Bretonneux. Passchendaele. Fromelles. So many men - blown completely out of their minds.
If you have the strength, you can observe first hand the kind of horrors that humanity is capable of inflicting on itself. No visible scars - just minds, cracked and broken.
So many poor, broken men.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1MixQbB-K0
I am basing the approximately building locations and residences off a map by "Wolfboy183" as drawn in June of 2015.
2017-04-20 POST EDIT
“There is nothing on earth that could ever make me want to relive certain years of my life when I was young."
― Johnny Depp
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Karn made their way back over the brook and off towards Twilight's house. Aside from the occasional cordial greeting from the ponies in town on their way there, they really didn't have a great deal to say to each other. Karn had been somewhat depressed since his experience near the Everfree Forest, and had been keeping very much to himself. Clearly what he'd experienced there had changed him. His pony friends both hoped this change was temporary. Fluttershy in particular felt heart ache over just the little he'd been able to share with her and wished there was something she could do to help him.
Finally arriving at Twilight's tree house, Rainbow Dash thumped on the front door. "Hey, Twilight, you home?" With her voice as strong and confident as it was, Karn wondered why she actually bothered with the effort to knock the door. He was sure that a cadaver parked on the opposite side of the wooden barrier would've awoken when she called.
The door opened and the three of them were greeted by Spike. "Oh, hey!" he said cheerfully. "Come on in! Twilight's just upstairs in her library, trying to find anything she can about humans just turning up here. Hi, Karn! You, er, don't look so good."
"Good morning, Spike. I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a bit upset over something that happened a little earlier. In fact it relates to me having maybe developed a theory as to how I got here. Pretty good timing if Twilight the Inquisitor is already burning off energy at an alarming rate, by steamrolling her way through books."
"Huh, yeah! I like the way you put that! I'll have to remember to use that. Steamrolling through books! I'm not quite sure what steamrolling is, but it sounds fun!"
"Well, a steamroller was an old fashioned machine that ran on steam and ... well, that's about it. They had large rollers on the front, and they just rolled and rolled. Flattening all in their path, much like Twilight is doing with her manuscripts, one imagines."
Spike chortled a little once he'd put a mental image to what a 'steamroller' was. Karn was impressed with the fact that this was the longest conversation he'd ever had in his life about steamrollers. One could certainly be caught in very odd discussions in this place.
"Hey, Twilight's upstairs, let's head on up," offered Spike.
Spike bounded up the stairs with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, whilst Karn bent himself almost in half and made his way up a little more cautiously. He realized with a sigh that at some point he was going to smash his forehead clear into one of the door headers. He wondered further if he would do it with enough force to either cut down to his skull, or smash clean through the wall - on indeed some grizzly combination of the two. 'Such unusual places my mind is taking me today' he thought.
Twilight was so deeply entrenched with the material she was reading in one of her books that she was quite oblivious to her visitors.
"Ah, Twilight? Karn, Dashie and Fluttershy are here to see you. Apparently Karn has some kind of idea as to how he arrived in Equestria!" introduced Spike.
Twilight barely moved, beyond anything physiologically necessary to continue powering her brain.
Karn found the urge to make use of this situation simply too much to resist. "Twilight?" he asked. "There's been an explosion in the town hall."
She continued reading.
Fluttershy was pleased to see that this silliness on his part was bringing back the semblance of a smile. She so loved it when he smiled.
"Twilight," he continued. "Princess Celestia has decided to force all ponies to play the glockenspiel," he reported. Twilight's brain again did not register anything untoward and her mind - deeply engrossed - continued to ignore auditory input in order to process what she was reading.
Spike was covering his mouth by now, and trying desperately not to laugh out loud. Finally that smile Fluttershy loved returned to Karn's face.
"Twilight, I was wondering if you'd like to marry me and move to a cottage in the Everfree Forest. I've made the arrangements, we just need to sign the documents at the town hall," he insisted in the most serious voice he could manage.
Spike couldn't hold it any longer - he fell backwards, laughing as if his sides would split. The noise must have finally snapped Twilight out of her academic trance.
"Huh? Oh, Karn, you're here! Hi, Dashie! Hi, Fluttershy! I'm so sorry! I was just really interested in this old spell book about transportation and I must've lost track of what was going on!"
Karn acted as downtrodden and disappointed as he could manage. "So ... we're not going to be married after all?" he lamented sadly.
This was too much for Spike. In between the breaths he could manage, he begged Karn to stop. Karn decided that he and Spike were going to be great friends.
Twilight looked at Karn as if he'd just announced that he was going to become a professional clown. "Karn ... you ... what?"
"Nothing, Twilight. I'm sorry, I had been having a little fun at the expense of your being so entrenched in your book."
She frowned at him. "Oh, honestly! Karn, sometimes the sense of humor you human's have is just too much. I've been reading various books about teleportation and such, and trying to get some kind of theory together as to how you got here, Karn."
"I may actually have such a theory to propose to you as it is."
"You do?" Twilight's eyes opened wide. Clearly this was something she was eager to hear about.
"I think we're going to need to sit down for this one, it's going to take some explaining."
The discussion had covered a wide range of theoretical topics, mostly with respect to theories regarding infinite universes and whether they existed. These had been topics Karn had been able to study and read about whilst at his parents' farm, sifting through the books they kept on physics. He'd always found the concept of infinite universes to be an interesting one.
"So, Karn, you're saying that you think you may have somehow been 'burnt out' of your own universe - yet, because you were shielded and slowing down time, as you suggest - the effect was that you were thrown out of the universe you were in, but in the form of pure energy."
"Yes - since, matter and energy are essentially interchangeable."
"And whilst in this pure energy state, you somehow made contact with our universe and welded into it," Twilight continued.
"In much the same way that a virus binds with a cell and merges with its wall," he explained. It was wonderful to be having such a discussion with someone who understood what he was getting at.
"So ... at that point your energy somehow merged through the wall of our universe and your energy was reconstituted back to matter ... which explains why you suddenly materialized where you did, and why you were a physical being when we found you."
"Precisely. I mean, it's just a theory, but when I was out on the track where I appeared I could sense the way the energy had been fluctuating. It was very powerful, but incredibly focused. It left what was very much like a recording of the event, by trapping the pattern of the waves within the very fine grains of sand and dirt in that area."
There was a moment of silence whilst Twilight thought more about the theory he had proposed. "But Karn, if the theory of multiple universes is correct ... you do realize that means you can never possibly get back to where you were?"
Karn looked down at the floor for a moment. "That would certainly be the case, Princess", he stated. "Sorry, I keep calling you either Princess or Twilight and it's rude of me, should I use your formal title?"
"Oh no, please Karn. Just call me Twilight," she smiled.
He looked back up at her. "Twilight ... to be honest, I don't think I ever want to go home."
"... not to your family? Your friends? Your ..."
"Twilight, if the theory of infinite universes holds, then essentially they don't exist anymore now that I'm here, and I'd be unable to go back to them even if I wanted to. What could I go back to? It sounds very selfish on my part, I realize, but ... if Princess Celestia allows it, I would like to build a house of my own here, and begin to heal myself."
"But, I thought you'd been feeling a lot better?" Twilight quizzed.
"Physically, I am. I'm able to perform some basic acrobatic maneuvers and do physical exercise, Twilight ... but it's my mind that's broken," he pointed out, lightly tapping the left temple with his pointer finger.
"Karn, I know you had some headaches, but ... "
"Twilight, I keep having these flashbacks. I've had two today and the second one was the worst. The nightmares, thanks to Fluttershy, have essentially stopped, so I'm at least able to sleep at night. But, during the day, I'll find myself drifting back to those events I went through."
"Oh, Karn. I'm sorry about you going through that", Twilight said empathetically.
"They just come and go. I do my best not to focus on certain things that trigger them. They can be the strangest things, I might be simply walking along a footpath when I hear somebody giving a sharp command. I've found that being out on an unsurfaced dirt path is one of the worst triggers. Twilight ... I did some truly awful things where I came from. I think in time, I'll need to find someone I trust enough to open up and share my experiences with, so I can somehow unload those things from my mind. Almost like airing out musty blankets."
"Is there anything you've found that helps stop these flashbacks from occurring?" quizzed Twilight.
"So far, the best things have been compassion, friendship and distraction. God, that sounds like a complete cliché, but I've found that provided I'm with any of my friends here, the flashbacks are generally not as bad or at least they are brief and not as lucid. If I let myself go, or get too involved in studying my past, that's when things become pretty scary."
There was another long silence while Twilight thought over Karn's theory and the new information about his flashbacks that he'd provided her with. The atmosphere in the library was thick with theoretical thoughts and quotes from books from both universes. Amongst this smoky scientific air, Rainbow Dash had a sudden recollection.
"HEY! We were meant to go and see Pinkie today!" she exclaimed.
"Oh yes, so we were!" replied Karn.
"Um, why are you all in such a rush to see Pinkie?" asked Twilight, suddenly finding the gearbox of her mind being shunted harshly from one gear to another.
"Because in two weeks, it's Karn's birthday! We need to ask Pinkie to arrange a birthday party!"
"It's your birthday , Karn?" asked Twilight, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Ah, actually no it isn't. The short story is that I don't recall when my birthday was, other than approximately two hundred and fifty of your 'years' ago. On my way back to Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack last night, she suggested we should just pick a date at random and use that. And so, she suggested I have a birthday on Friday, in two weeks time."
"That's a pretty cool idea!" chipped in Rainbow Dash.
"It does sound lovely!" concurred Fluttershy.
"Well, that's ... kind of weird, but I guess it would help cement your place in our town, if you had a birth date you could actually recall," remarked Twilight.
"Come on! Let's head down to Sugarcube Corner and get Pinkie in on this action," insisted Rainbow Dash.
Karn managed a quiet laugh. "Oh my God. I can't wait to see her reaction."
"Are you kidding??? I'd love to organize that! If it comes to organizing a surprise birthday party for a birthday that hasn't existed before then I'm your pony!" Pinkie cheered upon hearing the news.
"Are you really sure, Pinkie? I'd hate to go putting you to any trouble," said Karn, facetiously.
"It's no trouble at all, silly, this is precisely the sort of thing I've been waiting for, a chance to put together a really unique party! A party for a birthday that somepony just made up for a human that mysteriously appeared here and who cannot remember their own birthday! It's going to be a birth of a birthday party party!"
"A party party?" asked Karn.
"No, a birth of a birthday party party, silly! Really a one of a kind event, unless you want to invent another birthday someday? If you do, then I'd be happy to arrange that one too! Oh! A birth of a re-birthday birthday party party, even better! Or maybe you can say that you got your imaginary birthday wrong, so we could have a readjusted birthday party for the birth of a birthday party party! The possibilities are endless!"
Karn laughed. "How about we stick to the party party for the moment, Pinkie."
"The birth of a birthday party party?"
"The very one I had in mind, thank you."
She began bouncing around the store to the surprise of several customers who had managed to make their way in before this particular disturbance occurred.
"Oh! Oh! Who are you going to invite?"
"Well, we were thinking ... "
"EVERYPONY ! Of course it has to be! If you're having a birth of a birthday party party, then it's obvious that everypony has to be there."
"... well, yes, everyone, but ... "
"Oh, this is going to be great! I'm going to have to get started on this right away! Where do you want to have your birth of a birthday party party? It has to be the town square, that's the only place that everypony could possibly fit, especially with the number who'll be there when I send out all the invitations and ... "
"... Pinkie, please don't go overboard with ... "
"... and we'll need extra streamers and a lot more confetti and ... "
"... Pinkie, do you realize I'm here at all?"
"... and of course I'm going to have to make the biggest, bestest birth of a birthday party party cake EVER!!! It's going to need a bucket full of sprinkles alone and ..."
Karn had to gently raise a hand in front of her to get the party fiend under control. "Pinkie, that all sounds wonderful, but I really don't want anyone to go to too much trouble."
"It's no trouble, silly, I live for parties!"
Karn sighed in exasperation. "Pinkie ..."
"Besides, everypony around Ponyville would love the chance to come along to a party! Especially all the foals, fillies and colts!"
It was a good point, Karn conceded. A convivial gathering being held so suddenly, doubtless there would be a lot of ponies there, and aside from well wishes and spending time with the few ponies he actually did know a little more than the others, it would obviously be a happy event for all of them as well. 'Who knows, it may even prove to be educational,' he thought. "Well, then I guess I'm glad to have employed the services of the foremost party expert in Equestria, then."
"That's the spirit!" she cheered, giving Karn an impromptu hug that he was unprepared for. He found himself fighting the urge to defensively block her arms. Instead he stood there like a statue with his arms at his sides. "Oh, sorry! I hope I didn't scare you?" Pinkie asked, finally unwrapping her hooves from around him.
"No, Pinkie, it's just that you took me by surprise a little and I'm afraid I generally don't handle surprises very well."
"Oh my goodness, I completely forgot, how rude of me! I'm so sorry, Karn!"
"Really, Pinkie, it's fine, I ..."
"I promise I will never have a surprise party for you of any kind!"
"Thank you, Pinkie, that'd be very thoughtful ... "
"I'll make it up to you!"
Karn laughed. "No! Please! It's fine! I'm sure your party plans will be superb and I am extremely grateful to be able to leave those in your very capable hooves."
"Friday in two weeks time! Consider it done!"
"Actually, Pinkie, if I may just ask one other minor favor if possible?"
"You have another party you ..."
"No, no, " Karn laughed, "I was simply going to ask if you had some pure baker's yeast I may have?"
"Yeast? You didn't tell me that you baked! We should swap ..."
"Well, I don't bake, Pinkie, but I just had a bit of an experiment I was looking to try."
"Oh! Well okay," she replied, somewhat curious as to what kind of experiment would involve yeast but not pertain to the creating of foodstuffs. "Here you go!" She produced a small, sealed container of yeast seemingly from out of nowhere. Karn was actually confused for a moment. He stared at the container as if he'd not actually expected to obtain any.
"Pinkie ... where did you ..."
"Well, you said you wanted yeast? Here ya go!"
"How much do you want me to pay you? Once I start earning some money through odd jobs around here, that is?" Karn asked.
"You don't owe me anything, Karn! I'm sure it's the least I could do! ... HEY, that's rhymes ..."
"Ah yes, I realize that rhymes with 'yeast' Pinkie, let's not press that one," Karn interrupted, offering the pony a genuine smile. He'd been feeling so truly dreadful and yet she'd been able to perk him up just by being her usual energetic, effusive and joyful self. "Thank you, Pinkie, really. For everything."
"You're welcome, Karn!" Another hug followed, one that Karn was at least prepared for this time around. "You can pay me back at the party!"
Karn was confused. "I can?"
"Of course! How about a dance?"
Karn's heart almost stopped. Oh God he hated dancing. "Umm .... a dance , Pinkie?" His mouth suddenly went dry. It was the kind of dryness that could very well have allowed him to play his palette like a xylophone.
"Oh come on, surely they dance where you're from?"
"Well they do, Pinkie, but dancing is something that I ..."
"Then it's settled! Oh, I can't wait, it's going to be just wonderific !!" She continued her bouncing around the store.
As Karn, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all turned to leave, he found himself feeling suddenly extraordinarily tense. It wasn't an anxiety related to any condition - other than the need to dance, in front of any kind of audience.
It was in this frame of mind, that Karn decided to head back towards Sweet Apple Acres to see if there was work he could do - not only in return for the hospitality, but also as thanks for that morning's breakfast.
"Karn, you know we can't let you go off on your own!" insisted Rainbow Dash.
"Ah yes, I'd forgotten about that. I'm sorry Dash, my mind was occupied with something unpleasant."
"Oh no. Karn? Are you feeling okay?" asked Fluttershy, with genuine concern.
He glanced downwards at his guardian angel. "Oh, no, Fluttershy. I'm not worried about, well, what I would normally be upset about. It's ..."
There was prolonged pause. Karn found himself standing there, his mouth open and moving in an attempt to form words, but his mind not making anything actually reach that critical point. In the end he decided it was best to shut his gaping, needlessly-flapping mouth and try to form what he had to say first, the better to avoid looking any more foolish. "Fluttershy, Dashie ... I can't dance ," he admitted finally.
The two of them looked wide eyed at him, then askance at one another, before finally looking back towards Karn. Rainbow Dash lost control at this point and fell to the ground, lying on her back and laughing. "Wow, Karn, that's what you're worried about? Of all the things in Equestria, you can't dance ?"
"Well no, Dashie, I'm afraid I can't."
The pegasus slowly got back onto her feet, wiping away tears. "That's freakin' hilarious! I'm sorry, Karn, but it's just so funny! I mean, I've seen you doing all kinds of gymnastic stuff and leaping around and it's dancing you can't do? That's just awesome!" She continued chuckling at his expense.
Karn just stared down at her, plain faced. He wasn't angry at her display, he'd rather been expecting it, however he did feel foolish about being afraid to dance given that he was quite capable of so many other things as she'd just stated. Throughout his very long life, dancing was one of those strange acts that Karn found completely uncomfortable and rather frightening on some level. He'd not once refused an order on a battlefield - no matter how certain it seemed to be a sentence of death imposed upon him. Yet dancing, in an artistic display, in front of anyone? The more he thought about the subject the clammier he felt. It even occurred to him that not only was dancing in front of other people - or ponies - something he was terrified of, he doubted he could manage to dance on his own with nobody present.
"Aside from being a source of amusement for you, can you think of anything I can do to ..." he sighed painfully, "... learn to dance, even simply, between now and Friday in two weeks?" he asked Rainbow Dash.
She finished wiping away her tears. "Well ... if anypony was ever going to be any help to you there, Karn, it'd have to be Rarity! At the very least, she'd be able to get you to look civilized," she smiled.
Karn frowned at the ground. The idea itself had merit - if there was any of them with a solid grasp of any of the niceties of being in public it would certainly be her. "Do you really think she would be remotely interested in helping me to ... well. At such short notice? I mean, surely she has her business to think about?"
"Well, all you can do is ask, Karn? If you like, we can head around there now and ask her, before you head back to Applejack to get some work done. We have to cross back over the brook for Fluttershy to get home anyway!"
The Carousel Boutique was not the sort of establishment in which Karn thought he would find the need to present himself. The concept of being at a business associated with fashion was one that he felt a little ill at ease with. Clothing in Alsovia was about being practical. It had to feel comfortable, be suitable to any given task and able to stand up to the rough treatment it may receive when about one's business - whether that happened to be grafting vines or warfare. But the perfumed essence and curious attire on offer wasn't what made him so uncomfortable. It was the reasons pertaining to his having to be there at all that caused him the most discomfort.
"Karn, my dear!" exclaimed Rarity. "Are you seriously telling me that you do not know how to dance with a lady?" There was genuine surprise in that voice. It was the kind of surprised note that he was becoming more used to hearing.
'Why all of the fuss about my inability to dance? And this is all in service of a birthday that isn't actually legitimately mine,' he thought to himself. He felt a pang of guilt for having allowed such a unfair thought - the idea of giving him a birthday was a kind gesture on their part and he felt he should learn to be far more grateful. "That I am, my lady. I can honestly say, that I have never had the chance to learn how to dance. Certainly where I'm from, I made it a point to avoid the exercise if the opportunity ever arose."
"Come now, you're not saying that you avoided the courtesy of dancing with a lady? Did you not have balls or even celebrations of any kind where you are from?" quizzed Rarity.
"We certainly had celebrations. I can honestly say that I have never been asked to attend anything that would equate to a ball. Any such activity would've been largely relegated to those of higher society. Whilst my particular clan in Alsovia was very honorable and held in high esteem, we generally didn't have the kinds of elegant balls that you're referring to. Even so, at the celebrations we did have, I generally avoided dancing. The idea was ..." he began, as he gritted his teeth momentarily and tightly shut his eyes. Why was this subject so difficult for him to discuss? "... the idea was very embarrassing, my lady."
"My dear Karn, dancing with a lady should never be embarrassing for you."
"Well, I am sorry to have say that for me, that's precisely what it was. I am a very logical and rational person, however the concept of being a poet, an artist, or even just being able to indulge in a simple dance is rather frightening for me."
She managed a determined sounding sniff and that dainty nose of hers shot ever so slightly upwards. He could tell that he was about to be viewed as a personal challenge. "Well, my dear Karn, this is something that one simply cannot abide! I shall teach you at least as much as you need to comport yourself with dignity, such that you can share a dance with Pinkie at your birthday party, which ..." she continued, " ... I hasten to add you neglected to mention to me at all until this morning!"
"In his defense, Rarity, the birthday really wasn't his idea. It was an idea Applejack had last night when they were headed back to the farm," explained Rainbow Dash.
"You see, my lady, where I'm from I'd never really kept track of my birthday. Most of my people didn't," Karn went on to explain. "We would more or less track the number of cycles we'd lived, but precise dates for birthdays were not widely kept. So when I mentioned this to Applejack she came up with the idea of just choosing a date and ... well, she chose Friday in a couple of weeks, just like that."
"So, until last night, you didn't actually have a birth date?"
"Not an accurate one, no. I've had a lot of things on my mind for such a long time, I guess in all of the confusion my precise date of birth did not ever seem to be a date that I needed to recount."
"Yeah, " interrupted Rainbow Dash. "So Pinkie is arranging a ... what was it again?"
"It's going to be my birth of a birthday party party," Karn reminded her.
Rarity seemed to be as surprised at the title of the aforementioned celebration as Karn had been. "Oh! Well ... that sounds certainly like a name Pinkie would have given to what is, " she cleared her throat, " well, a one-of-a-kind event."
Karn managed a weak smile for her. He fought back the thought that she was quite stunning, especially when she was inspired. "It'll be the first birthday party I've ever had, my lady. Honestly, I suspect it will be the first party of any kind at which I would have been considered a guest of honor, let alone the center of attention. That's another thing that bothers me."
"Oh, Karn," she gently insisted, "you must learn to be a little more gracious!"
"My lady! It isn't that I don't appreciate the preparations," exclaimed Karn, mortified that his words may have been misconstrued. "I just don't know how to ... comport myself. I'm not used to any of this. The only times I've been the center of attention have been those where people have been very much trying to terminate my existence, or where an officer has had me at the front of a parade ground for some kind of infraction of regulations."
"My goodness, but what have any of your ... well, equivalent of mare-friends where you are from have thought of that, your lack of interest in so much as a waltz ?"
Karn chuckled. "Well, the equivalent would be girlfriend, or lover I guess. I've never had a girlfriend or mare-friend or however you wish to put it, my lady."
She seemed astonished at this news. "Karn ... you've never had a mare-friend or a close female companion or ..."
"No, my lady, not one. I have been very much a bachelor. For over two hundred and fifty of your 'years'," he managed another chuckle. " I have been in love before, but I didn't pursue her."
Knowing this filled Rarity with even greater resolve. "Karn, not only am I going to teach you to dance, but I am going to make sure that you are suitably dressed for such an occasion! I shall, if you will forgive me for referring to you in such a manner, make you my personal project!"
"My lady, I would of course be eternally grateful. I would be more than delighted to be your personal project. You can rest assured I've been referred to as much worse."
"Excellent! Than we shall at least commence with measurements for a new set of clothes for you to wear!"
"But, my lady, you have already made at least two full sets for me ..."
"Karn, I have made you two copies of your 'uniform', it is true. But for a birthday party such as this, you should have something much finer than those. You cannot go around wearing the same thing over and over again, people will think you do not even bathe , for Celestia's sake."
Karn considered that the entire reason for having a uniform was to wear it uniformly, and thus the name - but he was never going to argue or indeed offer such an insulting remark to someone such as Rarity. She had that combination of beauty and elegance that made it impossible for him to argue with her. No matter that a different set of clothes struck him as ostentatious, somewhat impractical and actually quite wasteful. It was a lovely and extraordinarily generous offer on her part - and for that he felt sincerely thankful. "I don't know what to say, my lady."
"Well, my dear, you could at the very least offer me a 'thank you' ... and of course, I shall want a dance with you at your ... your 'party party' as well!"
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had made their apologies and left, giving Karn the chance to look around the boutique whilst Rarity tended to some other sewing tasks she had been busy with.
"In Alsovia we could never really have envisaged such a spectacular variety of materials, just for clothing!" Karn was astounded at the rows of fabrics; the different textures, weaves, colors and thicknesses. It had never occurred to him that anyone would keep such a varied stock of material. It would seem logical though, in a world where clothes are made for a variety of other purposes, besides merely keeping the weather out and one's person inside.
"My dear Karn, what you see here is but a sampling," Rarity chirped cheerfully.
He found observing the way she worked to be of interest. He had the basic skills involved in sewing up holes in clothing, of sewing on service chevrons, even in the art of suturing - a skill he was particularly gifted at - but the manner in which Rarity was able to assemble materials together, to create. Truly he was observing an artiste in their studio. He did ask a few questions regarding the various patterns of stitching she was using, of the types of thread she was using to combine different fabrics. He found himself engrossed in her manner of work, how proficient she was, how skilled and creative.
"It's a wondrous experience, my lady, to have the privilege of watching you working, if I may say so."
She seemed a little surprised by his remark. She looked up to find Karn admiring her work. He had a soft smile that suggested contentment. "Thank you, Karn, that was a lovely compliment for you to have paid me," she replied. There was brief moment where the two smiled at each other. She blinked a few times and continued on with her work. By all accounts, she had a few final alterations to make before she would be able to take Karn's measurements for his new 'party party' attire.
"My lady, it's always very pleasant to be around you all. It's ..." he looked away and fought for an accurate superlative to employ. "... I think 'relaxing' is the simplest term I can arrive at."
"I'm delighted to hear that, my dear!"
He continued to gently gaze at her while she worked. She could feel his eyes on her, but tried her best to ignore that in order to concentrate on what she was doing. She had the strangest sensation that his watching her was not entirely unpleasant. "I'm not used to being able to ... just sit and chat about things, to talk and just enjoy anyone else's company, without having to wrestle with a sense of desperation, or fear or feeling rushed. So often I would be with my friends and there would be this feeling that we had possibly five minutes of free time before we'd be moving out somewhere, or being relieved, or advancing or ..."
She finished the last of the alterations she had to make that afternoon. Setting down her tools of trade, she crossed to where Karn was seated, almost ridiculously on a pony sized sofa in her store. She sat next to him and tried to make more sense of what he was trying to tell her. She looked up at this rather unusual creature - he was so polite, so sensitive. Had he truly never had any mare or female friends where he was from?
"I'm sorry, my lady, I know I'm not making a lot of sense."
"It's fine, my dear. Am I to take it that you feel less stressed and more at ease here with us than ... well, where you've come from?"
He smiled down at her. "Precisely. The strange thing is, that I keep feeling the need to be tense. I'm sitting here on this comfortable sofa next to, if I may say, a rare beauty, " at which she blushed much to his personal delight, "and yet I feel as if I should be defensive. I should be at least looking over my shoulder, or cleaning a rifle, or restocking my medical kit. There should be the sound of gunfire, of artillery in the distance. The peace and respect that I am offered and the manner with which friendship and incredible generosity are offered to me here, and offered freely ...". He looked down at the floor between his boots. "I'm sorry, my lady. I am making absolutely no sense at all, I'm sure."
"My dear," she responded quietly, gently placing a hoof on his left leg. "I think I understand what you are attempting to tell me. It's peaceful here, and you are not used to that. You're simply not used to it, that's all. It will take you some time to become accustomed to not having to go about such awful responsibilities as you've had."
That was exactly what he was trying to say. She had described in a very adroit fashion exactly what he had been clumsily trying to tell her. "That is it in a nutshell, my lady. Thank you," he replied, offering her a pleasant smile. Rarity found herself a little startled to realize that she understood what it was about his gaze that seemed to make Fluttershy blush so often. He had this deeply intelligent and sensitive look in his eyes and the most wonderfully warm smile. Blushing again herself, she got back up to find her measuring tape. If he did have such a wonderful and endearing smile, he also sadly conveyed a look of fatigue and of having seen so much and being unable to 'un-see' it again. There was enchantment in his eyes - yet so much pain.
"Now, my dear, I think we should commence dancing lessons after my work is finished here tomorrow, if that time is going to be suitable for you?" she asked.
"My lady, that would be perfect."
"For now, let's get the measurements I think I shall need for your ... well, your 'party party' clothes," and even she managed a giggle at the title. Karn found it interesting that Pinkie Pie seemed to have this joyful effect on much of the town - even when she wasn't actually there to do so in person.
Author's Note
There is a truly awful mix of pseudo-scientific nonsense in here regarding multiple universes, but then such is the necessity to use artistic license to handle these kinds of stories. We're reading about a mythical world populated with completely fictional characters after all.
It was also a little difficult to try and cram so much into the one chapter, without falling into the trap of laboring a point too much. So I found myself writing mixed dialog with a variety of characters, trying some interplay, just enjoying writing. I had been consuming margaritas whilst writing some of this, which was a change from the Australian Shiraz or Moscato I'd normally imbibe. God only knows what that will do the readability of this chapter.
I enjoyed writing it, though. Hopefully somebody else will enjoy reading it too.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to Nordryd .
Cheers!
POST EDIT 2017-04-21
“I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense. (xxvi)”
Karn had been able to regain still more of his strength courtesy of the comfortable bed that he had in the loft at Sweet Apple Acres. A couple of days had passed now since the commencement of Pinkie's work on preparing for this great celebration. Whilst he felt gratitude that anyone would want to offer him some kind of festival, the entire concept of one being held just for him was extremely difficult for him to accept. It made him feel uneasy and perhaps even a little guilty. Why he would be feeling guilty over this was difficult for him to pinpoint, but it was certainly shame of some kind.
He continued carrying out odd repair jobs and helping anywhere else he could manage around the farm, occasionally checking to verify that his early attempt at fermenting the apple cider seemed to be progressing okay. He still felt that the most difficult part of his little experiment would be to try and keep the temperature as steady as possible. He'd at least been able to prepare a fairly secure container, with a stopper to bleed off any gas. Only time would tell how well any of that worked.
The work at Sweet Apple Acres was a confidence boosting experience. The work was hard and long and he began to feel his strength returning. He also found himself enjoying the time spent with Applejack. She was a hard worker and a great companion to have along during the chores and work on the farm. She seemed to want to spend a lot of time with him whilst working, since her only other coworker seemed to be her brother Big Mac, he guessed she just needed some different attention during the long work days.
Time was something he felt as if he had a great deal of to spare presently. Provided Princess Celestia and Princess Luna would allow him the right to stay in Ponyville or indeed anywhere in Equestria, he was inclined to find somewhere to build a small place of his own and start to try and reconstruct his mind a little. The flashbacks had seemed to be under reasonable control for the moment, although it always felt as if they were buzzing around the back of his mind. It felt like any time he was working, exercising and pacing around the farm, something horrific might leap from the nearest doorway and shatter his senses completely. This troubled him but despite this, his thoughts shifted to Rarity.
The first couple of dance lessons with Rarity had not gone quite as well as he'd hoped and he had not hoped for a great deal. He'd spent an awful lot of time apologizing for stepping on her hooves and had left on both occasions wondering at her desire to continue to help him at all. She was certainly persistent in the lessons.
He'd been spending this particular morning - 'party day' minus twelve - being put to work doing some fencing. Karn had been exceptionally impressed by the methods that the Apple clan used to harvest in their orchard since they were very different from his own! Not only did it take considerable strength to beat apples out of a tree in the fashion they did, but it obviously took a lot of stamina; he was certainly amazed whilst observing their technique!
He'd been checking the fences and replacing beams that were wearing out when Twilight dropped by to see how he was doing. He'd seen her approaching along the road outside the orchard with Spike trailing not so far behind. Naturally enough, that accursed notebook of hers was neatly tucked in a saddle bag. She stopped at the side of the fence to speak to him, however Spike was quick to interject.
"Hi, Karn! I gather they've been keeping you pretty busy out here?" Spike said excitedly.
Karn wiped the sweat from his brow. "Well, being busy always beats the alternative, I guess. How have you been keeping? Has my gentle inquisitor kept your quill hand busy?" he replied, a slight smirk on his face.
"Huh, as usual," Spike replied, causing Twilight to throw him a brief frown. Spike looked up at her. "What? You always keep me busy writing, checklists, checklists to check the checklists, updates to Princess Celestia, checklists for the updates to ..."
"Ahem," Twilight coughed. "Karn, as I was trying to ask, how have you been? I realize it's only been a day since I checked in with you last, but I do tend to worry about you a bit."
Spike rolled his eyes, "A bit?"
Karn was happy enough to provide Twilight with an update. He was amused, however, by the young dragon’s remark. "Actually, aside from some minor mishaps and accidents with my dance teacher and the fact that I'm still not up to standard on the breakfast making front, things have been going very well."
Twilight smiled. "I'm pleased to hear it! I've certainly heard a lot of reports about just how much you've improved health wise."
'Clearly the grapevine here is flourishing' he thought to himself. "I've been getting in a lot of running, general exercises, light weights, calisthenics and the like. Combined with my bed over there in the hay loft, I can honestly say I've been improving in leaps and bounds - literally and metaphorically."
"How about your flashbacks?"
Karn took the chance to take a drink of water and collect his thoughts a little. The smile briefly disappeared from his face as grief replaced it. "I've had a few of them, Twilight. They've been minor ones, though, mercifully. I think keeping occupied with work around the farm here and always having one of the six of you nearby at all times is making the difference."
"So ... you've been avoiding your past, basically?"
"Basically?" he laughed grimly and looked up at her. "No, Twilight, that's precisely what I've been doing, avoiding it completely. I've had a lot of very bad episodes since leaving the hospital, Twilight, I really don't want to risk having another one."
"Karn, you'll need to ... well, talk about them sooner or later. I don't mean that you'd need to go overboard, but ... well, when you're ready."
"I know, Twilight. I'm ... well, I'm scared to be honest. I did some things that...", and he stopped again to shake his head, "... that I'm going to have trouble explaining to anyone. I'm not just worried about the possibility of flashbacks or terrors, but of giving somebody the wrong impression, of telling them about things that will change their opinion of me."
"Karn, I know none of us can understand what you went through, but any of us would be willing to listen."
He chuckled. "Any of you? Do you really think Pinkie Pie would make the best possible psychologist for me?"
Twilight giggled as well, "Well maybe not directly, no. But she'll help you in so many other ways. She's wonderful at brightening up your day, you have to admit that, right?"
"Are you kidding? After my last afternoon spent almost breaking poor Rarity's hooves, I'd swear she seemed to explode out of a drain pipe and showered me with hugs and questions about what colored table clothes I liked," he exclaimed, nodding his head. "She is something, alright."
The two of them shared a brief smile.
"Hey, Twilight, I don't wish to appear rude, but I really should get back to checking these fences. Applejack, Big Mac, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom have been very accommodating here, and my bed in that barn ... honestly, that's one of the most comfortable places I've slept in a century or so."
Having made his apologies, he returned to work on the fencing along the eastern edge of the farm.
He spent the remainder of the morning checking the fences along the section of the farm while the others were harvesting apples nearby. Much of the fence itself was already in good repair and he worried that he wasn't being a great deal of use to them. He was assured that he was and that even if the fencing itself was of a good standard, it would've still needed to be checked anyway - the act of making sure no immediate repair work was required and repainting areas as needed it, was saving time for the others. It still seemed odd that Applejack was intent on checking his work and engaging him in conversation. He put it down to his having worked on a farm back in his own universe for so long. It would be natural for her to be so curious.
Farm work aside, he'd also wondered whether he could be of any service at the hospital. Clearly he knew nothing of equine medicine, but he could at least change a bandage, handle suturing and suchlike. Still deep in thought, he finished the bread and butter he'd made for lunch, and washed that down with a glass of fresh milk. He'd made it a part of his plan today to go by and see Fluttershy. He was going to end up bumping into Pinkie, whether he planned to or not, so he just assumed she would explode from somewhere.
Whilst washing his face from the water pump next to the barn, he was met by the three fillies he'd learned called themselves the 'cutie mark crusaders'. Evidently the business of attaining a cutie mark was something of an achievement among these ponies.
Miss Apple Bloom and her two friends that he'd been introduced to had decided to learn almost as much about him as Twilight had. It was during one of these interrogations the day before that he had in fact learned that one them - Sweetie Belle - was Rarity's sister.
"Good afternoon, Karn!" greeted Apple Bloom.
"Good afternoon to you too, miss Bloom! And of course to you Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! What has one done to deserve a visit from three such lovely, determined young ladies?"
"Haven't you left fer town yet? I thought Rainbow Dash was comin' to git you just after lunch!" asked Apple Bloom.
"Well, she is. I guess I just finished up a bit sooner than I'd intended to. I'm sure she'll be along shortly," he suggested, wiping the remainder of the water from off his shoulders.
"Is it true your a thousand years old, Karn?" she asked.
Karn laughed to himself. "Well no, not quite, miss Bloom. But I've been around a while, yes."
"Do many hoo-mins live to be as old as you, Karn?" asked Scootaloo.
"Well, I'm a special kind of human, what they call an 'adept', so my life span tends to be a good deal longer than other humans."
"It must be wonderful to be an adept, Karn!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle.
Karn was quiet for a moment. 'What was wonderful about it', he pondered. "What makes you think that, sweetheart?"
"Because you can live so long and see so many new things and go and visit so many other places!"
Karn smiled gently at the innocent fillies who had come to ask him such questions. 'Oh God, sweetheart. It isn't worth being hale and hearty if what you go forth and find ends up making every day a pants-pissing nightmare. You should value your innocence. It's a priceless treasure,' he thought to himself darkly.
"I guess you could say that a long life span does mean you can see a lot of different places. That isn't always a good thing, though. You have a wonderful town here, it's very peaceful. Other creatures have lives that are less fortunate," he protested as gently as he could. The three crusaders eyed him curiously - that they didn't quite grasp what he was trying to tell them made them all the more dear to him. His smile deepened. "I'm sorry, young ladies. I didn't mean to preach. I guess what I'm saying is that I've seen many places on my journeys, but none of them were as nice as Ponyville."
"Really?" smiled Scootaloo.
"Yes, sweetheart. Really!" he exclaimed. He found himself a little stunned to realize that this feeling was genuine, and his pleased expression was an automatic one.
"Why do you keep calling us 'sweethearts'?" asked Sweetie Belle.
He managed a small chuckle, kneeling down so he was at their eye level. "I'm sorry, it's an old habit of mine. You are all young, polite, well spoken and lovely company if one may say so. 'Sweetheart' seemed an appropriate compliment," he explained. He stood up again and used what had been an old blanket to dry the rest of his face and hair. "Is there anything else you'd prefer I called you? I do apologize, young ladies, it seems I forgot my manners."
"Hey, Club-man! There you are!" came a familiar voice behind him.
'Shit' he thought, 'I mentioned the name to one of them, how could it have spread this far already?' he asked himself, a little angrily. He turned to face his escort for the day. "Ah, Rainbow Dash. I was just waiting for your arrival. May I ask why you are referring to me as a 'club'?"
She seemed a little taken aback. "I don't know, AJ was just mentioning it was a nickname you had ..."
Karn just closed his eyes and shook his head. "Dashie ... It's a nice surprise, but I must ask you not to use that nickname? It has a connotation that makes it awkward to hear anyone use it."
"Oh ... well okay, then," she agreed, the curiosity in her voice being almost tangible.
"Let me fetch my clean, dry shirt. And yes, I have bathed, though I wear the same clothes, " he stated for the record, "as Rarity would have people thinking I refuse to do so since I have three copies now of the same uniform."
"Hah ! I'd been wondering about that, it almost seems like you sleep in those weird things you carry around!"
Karn raised an eyebrow, playfully, as he changed into his clean shirt. "Weird things? Dashie, this happens to the be the uniform of a very seasoned secondary master adept. I happen to be very proud of it!"
"Proud of it? They're just clothes, Karn!"
"My other options presently are to wear saddle bags and crawl around on all fours, or I can go naked before my friends," he pointed out. The observation made him stop, and he looked up, attempting to look as if he'd just had a sudden revelation. "Now that would certainly make for a somewhat memorable party .... now that one thinks about it ..." God, but he felt up for almost anything this morning. He'd obviously managed to strike Rainbow Dash something of a blow - she hovered there, eyes wide and her face blushing.
"Ah ... Karn, you ain't serious are you?" He looked at her, his face was deadpan for some time, giving her the impression that it was indeed an act he was considering. Finally, she burst out laughing, "Dang it, you got me again!"
He broke into a wide smile. "I had to get you back somehow for uttering that nickname. In all honesty, Dashie, please don't use it. 'Karn' is all I wish to be known as."
"You got it, Karn! Sometimes you seem ..."
"Pretty awesome?" he offered and she laughed again. "Great news then, Dashie. I shall try to be twenty percent more awesome for tomorrow."
Thus far at least, a wonderful start to the day. The real challenge would be the dancing lessons, again.
The two of them made steady progress into the town, meeting Fluttershy and of course Pinkie Pie along the way. Pinkie had apparently been stocking all kinds of materials for whatever popular party games ponies played. She hinted that a certain amount of explosive was going to be involved in some of the display, but Karn wasn't entirely convinced that would be a great idea. He had let her know that if any kind of explosive was to be employed, it would be pertinent to let him know when such would be detonated. Having an incredibly vivid flashback following the eruption of something called a 'party cannon' was something Karn was keen to avoid, especially in front of the entire town again.
He had to admit to himself that the term 'party cannon' did delight his imagination. He'd not had the privilege of seeing one in action and the name conjured up images of clowns being rammed into open breaches. An odd combination of comedy and violence.
Pinkie had bounced joyfully alongside them as they all made their way to the Carousel Boutique. Once more Karn was intrigued to find out where she managed to get this kind of endless enthusiasm and energy.
"Pinkie, precisely how much farther are you planning to take these preparations of yours?" he asked.
"Karn, there's never been a party of this kind before and I want it to be one that every pony in town remembers! Trust me, after this party, everypony in town is going to remember your re-birthday!"
"Well, I'm certain I won't forget it."
"How could you possibly forget it? I'm going to be reminding you every time we meet about what day your birthday was changed to! Well, not so much 'changed' as ' adjusted', since you obviously already had a birthday or you wouldn't be here, so technically all I'll be doing is reminding you of the new date that we made up for your birthday given that you'd ..."
"Pinkie, I'm honestly delighted that you're so enthused with all of this, but please don't wear me out before ..."
"Hey! Do you realize that really it would be your first birthday?"
"Yes, I've never celebrated my date of birth before at any stage, but ..."
"So you'd be turning one!"
"I guess if you look at that way, but ..."
"Happy almost first birthday!" She again threw her hooves around him. Such an act now had ceased to be a surprise when he was near Pinkie, and he'd become a good deal more prepared for this kind of excitable behavior. He found it amusing that he now accepted random hugs such as this one with a degree of resilience. Just following his convalescence, a surprise hug like this would most likely have drawn a very unpleasant defensive reflex from him.
He managed a smile and even returned the hug. "Thank you, Pinkie."
"Oh Karn, you're so welcome!" The bouncing resumed and progress towards the Carousel Boutique continued.
"I do gather that I look somewhat weather-worn for somebody who is turning one?" pointed out Karn.
"No, silly, you look fine!"
The afternoon seemed as if it was going rather well. Pinkie had once again helped fit him out with a happy smile and he was once more able to spend some time with Fluttershy. She'd seemed very happy to see him, but had been a little distant since Pinkie had begun cavorting around. He wondered if it was all of the additional chatter that was annoying her. "Fluttershy, are you okay?"
"Um, yes Karn, I'm fine."
It was odd that she seemed a little distant. "I hope all of the silly chatter isn't getting to you?"
"No, I don't mind," she whispered and looked up at him to offer a brief smile.
'Perhaps I'm just overreacting and worried about things' Karn thought. Everything appeared to be going rather smoothly as far as his physical recovery was going at least. He put his concern about Fluttershy seeming quieter than usual down to his hyper-vigilance, but his worry about her remained. He still felt a nagging sense of confusion about the manner in which Fluttershy was acting, suddenly. "I hope you won't mind my asking, Fluttershy, but would you mind at all if I visited you again this afternoon?"
"No, I don't mind!" she exclaimed happily.
"No you don't mind my asking, or you don't mind my visiting?" he responded with a smile, hoping to engage her a little further.
"No, I meant ... well, I wouldn't mind if you visited," she replied.
There had been the faint hint of a smile, there. He found his heart skipping when she gazed up at him - but the curious feeling of hesitation on her part made him worry that much more. Perhaps she'd be a little more relaxed this afternoon? He longed to have a chance to enjoy some time with her again. He realized that with each meeting, his trips into town were increasingly motivated by a desire to be with her, than for any of the other tasks he would be about. This was very confusing for him. He tried to brush these feelings off. She was sweet, quiet and so gentle. He guessed that these attributes made him wish to spend so much time with her.
"I had been wondering earlier, which is always a risky undertaking on my part. I have had the honor of discourse with the 'cutiemark crusaders'. I gather there is a certain amount of prestige which you all attach to these cutie marks you bare?"
"Oh, you betchya!" chimed Pinky, without breaking time with her bouncing.
"It's somethin' that ponies earn!" explained Rainbow Dash, allowing a little more detail. "You have to find a unique talent you have, the talent you're destined for! Once you earn a cutie mark and discover you true talent, there's a celebration that follows, called cute-ceañera!"
"I see," mused Karn. "I guess that all makes a lot of sense now. So my ever present and highly energetic party designer of course sports the balloons, that makes a great deal of sense. Rainbow Dash, you of course sport rainbow lightning, as it sorts well with your speed and aerobatic prowess."
"Huh! Naturally!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash, her snout lifting into the air.
"Twilight had what I noticed was some kind of star, that at least sits well with her name Twilight Sparkle. Rarity of course sports diamonds, a rare and beautiful gem if there ever was one. Do any of you realize that diamonds are in fact the same thing as soot for the most part?" The ponies with him glanced around at him in surprise. "I am not attempting any kind of wit here, diamonds are in fact composed of carbon. The same element predominately found in graphite and soot. You just take the carbon and arrange it into just the right lattice structure, with some other transition metals for color and ...", he stopped having noticed the blank stares being aimed his way. "I'm sorry. I shall cease the lesson."
"Karn, how much time are you spending with Twilight? You're starting to sound like her!" laughed Rainbow Dash.
"Dashie, I enjoy spending time with Twilight!" Karn remonstrated. "Anyway, Twilight's cutie mark relates to her magical prowess, Applejack bares the apples of her trade, sorting well also with her incredible strength and skill in the harvesting of such. Fluttershy carries the butterflies that demonstrate her kindness towards living creatures, her patience and her dear care of others."
"Oh, thank you, Karn. That's very sweet of you."
He found himself once more surprised at how distant and cold she seemed to be. 'Fluttershy, what I have done to upset you?' He decided to try and lighten her mood. "I did suggest to Applejack that I need to get a cutie mark of my own tattooed upon my thigh. I had in mind a pair of boots, to demonstrate that I am now, unlike on my earlier jaunts within town, able to walk unassisted."
Rainbow Dash thought that was hysterical.
Pinkie Pie leapt into the air. "HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!!! Karn, we could throw you you're very own cute-ceañera!"
"Oh, no, Pinkie, please!" he exclaimed, trying to hide any hint of desperation from his voice.
"Karn ... you ... don't like my parties?"
"Oh! Pinkie, no, please! It's just that I have never had a party of any kind before, and I would like to at least experience the one party, before I go further and consider any other acts of public celebration! Truly, one is looking forward to your birth of a birthday party party!"
"Not as much as I am! I just live for making ponies happy! Humans too, of course! So I love it even more if the party is for both!" she said, the happy, effusive tone returning to her voice along with her bouncing gait.
The somewhat merry band made its passage through the town and across the brook towards the Carousal Boutique, where Karn's very patient dance instructor waited for him.
"Karn, my dear, it is lovely to see you once again! I have just a few minor alterations to make to some garments, before I can continue our dance lessons!"
"My lady, I do wish to apologize wholeheartedly for the pain I caused you on our last dance lesson together. I have been practicing a little in my evenings at Sweet Apple Acres, trying to at least master the waltz that you have been teaching me."
"My dear, it is wonderful to hear that you are practicing, and my hooves today are feeling a good deal better!"
He winced a little. "If it isn't an offer that makes you uncomfortable my lady, may I check your hooves? I've been worried about bruising you or causing you further pain through my own clumsiness."
Rarity was a little taken aback about this offer. "Er, well, my dear ... that's not necessary ..."
"I understand if that would make you uncomfortable, my lady. Rest assured, my motivations are those of a gentleman and by a concern for you not to continue exposing your poor hooves to further damage on my part."
"Well ...", she stumbled, not really quite sure what to think, "... I guess if you insist?"
"My lady, not if it makes you uncomfortable. I am nothing if not a worrier, albeit a most grateful worrier."
"Oh ... well, then I, ahm, guess that would be okay, once I finish these alternations," she acquiesced, finally. "In fact, Karn, I was wondering if you would mind if Dashie, Fluttershy and Pinkie kept us company today?"
The blood in Karn's veins very suddenly felt like ice. He suddenly felt hunted and quite terrified. "I ... yar ... I ... my lady! An audience? Now?!?" He could feel his cold, clammy skin begin to perspire, his sympathetic nervous system deciding to ignore a few gears and go clear to the top of the tree.
"Aw, come on, Karn! We're just here to help! We won't laugh, I promise!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"It's okay, Karn!!" cheered Pinkie. "We're just here to offer you an audience! Besides, if I'm going to share a dance with you, I should at least be ready for whatever waltz you're going to be sharing with me!"
He turned slowly and looked across to his friends. His face held very much the look of a man who had been told he would have to cross open ground in broad daylight, using only isolated cover, to fetch something as mundane as fresh coffee.
Fluttershy could see this look of fear on his face. The brook of her natural concern flowed gracefully into the love she felt for him, and she began to worry. "Karn, I can leave if that would help you feel a little more at ease?"
"Oh, Fluttershy, no! It isn't that I don't like any of you being here, and I really do appreciate the support but ... dancing !"
Rarity completed her work and placed her various seamstress tools back into the prim and proper places.
"My dear, I am going to need to lie here for a moment," exhaled Rarity. Clearly, she had been quite hard at work today, and this combined with the pain in her hooves was clearly causing her a certain amount of pain. Karn shook his head - a physical attempt to throw the terrifying thoughts of dancing in front of his friends as far from his mind as he could throw them, metaphorically at least.
He crossed to the sofa where Rarity was now reclining, and knelt at the end closest to her feet. He could see at first glance that she had been working very hard to hide the pain that her hooves were causing her . They were a little swollen and the bruising was quite evident. "Oh, my lady," he whispered, the regret and concern in his voice quite apparent following his initial examination. He looked upwards at her, noticing that even her lovely smile could not hide the grimace that was sitting just beyond her expression. He looked back down to her poor hooves, examining them a little close. "My lady, would you by any chance have some ice available?"
"My dear, why on earth would I need ice?"
"Proximal from here, you have some obvious swelling, doubtless caused by my own clumsiness," he noted. Climbing up onto the sofa at her hind legs, he took a few cushions and placed them on his lap. "Do you mind if I at least rest your hooves here, elevated on these cushions? That will at least help a little. Can anyone find a wash cloth or such and at least moisten it with cold water for me?"
"My dear, you do not need to bother yourself with ..."
"My lady, I am responsible for causing you this much pain. You have showed the utmost patience, generosity and care for me. I would at the very least like to reciprocate that care? Please, my lady? I feel to be ... no, I am indeed responsible for these injuries."
Rainbow Dash returned with two very cold wash cloths. He gently took them, waved them in the air a little to help cool them still further, then gently folding them up, he rested them very gently across poor Rarity's hooves as they lay above his lap. She managed a wince, until the soothing sensation of the cool cloth finally helped to alleviate some of the pain from the swelling. He looked back up at his beautiful dance instructor. She managed a very relieved smile and rested her head back onto the sofa.
"My lady, I really think that continuing any dancing lesson today would be a bad idea. As terrifying as dancing is for me, especially in front of an audience, you could end up causing further damage to yourself. That's simply going to make your work difficult and course make it impossible for me to dance at all."
Since massage of any kind over a soft tissue injury this soon after it'd been acquired was obviously not a good idea, he wondered if gently running his hands around her poor, tired hooves would at least help her feel a little more relaxed. Rarity, for her part, just lay back on the sofa and groaned. "Oh my goodness, my dear. That feels so much better. I cannot begin to tell you how much my poor hooves have been aggrieved with me since ..."
"Since I stepped on them repeatedly the other day," Karn reiterated, as he continued to gently and soothingly rub his hands around her sore hooves.
"My dear Karn, you don't need to do this."
"I know, my lady," he admitted. "But one lives to serve," he stated, matter-of-factly. The smile he gave to her was genuine, although mischievous. "You may want to get your doctor to double check, but in the meantime, you need rest off your hooves. Keep them elevated if you can, iced or cooled whenever possible, since I cannot ask you to wake every so often during the night to replace the cool cloth. I shall find somebody around here who sells ice. Would you be at all offended my lady, if I were to drop by tomorrow morning to see how you are doing?"
Rarity smiled warmly up at Karn. 'My dear, you are a treasure. How can you possibly be so charming, sensitive and kind, and yet be so eager to spend time on your own?' she wondered to herself. "You are welcome of course any time. And I would most certainly appreciate your company."
Fluttershy watched Karn tending to Rarity's injured hooves. "If you don't mind, I think I need to get back to my friends - I want to make sure that they're behaving themselves."
The timbre of her voice struck Karn like a blunt object. He looked immediately up to face her. She seemed to be smiling, but there was something about the way she was forming that smile. It didn't appear to be natural. It gave the impression that it was forced for some reason - and the way she spoke, it was measured. Her voice sounded overly controlled. He was immediately concerned.
"Fluttershy? Are you okay?"
Her smile suddenly looked even more forced. "Yes, Karn, I'm fine."
"Well ... I guess I'll see you at your cottage in a while? That is ... well, if you don't mind?"
"You don't have to come and see me if you don't want to, Karn."
"Um, well only if it's okay? I don't want to go annoying you?"
"No, Karn, really ... I don't mind, Karn. I'll see you soon."
Those words having been spoken, she left the room as quickly as she could, only taking to the air and flying towards her cottage when out of sight of her friends.
Karn remained seated on Rarity's sofa, caring for her injured hooves, whilst remaining somewhat sad and baffled by Fluttershy's strange behavior.
Having made sure Rarity was feeling a good deal more relaxed, he'd carried her to her bed to rest, gently propping up her poor hooves onto as many cushions as he could without making her uncomfortable. She was most grateful for his attention and care. Karn certainly felt it was the least he could do, having been born with two left feet and being thus being the cause of her present incapacitation. Dutifully, he'd made sure that she had something to drink and a light snack next to her bed, so she could eat a little and stay hydrated whilst resting.
Rainbow dash insisted she at least escort Karn as far as Fluttershy's cottage. Having made the short trek from the Boutique to the bridge leading across to the cottage, he stopped to say goodbye to Rainbow Dash. He was actually feeling very excited about the chance to have some time alone once more with Fluttershy. Maybe she would be a little less nervous around him this time? He certainly hoped so.
"I was really hopin' to see you in some dancing action back there, Karn!"
He tried to hide the sense of relief he was presently feeling at avoiding such a catastrophe before he'd been able to address the worst of his inability to actually dance without making an utter fool of himself, injuring his partner or almost certainly both. "Well, Dashie, I imagine you will get a chance to see me make a complete idiot out of myself upon a dance floor one day very soon."
She turned to fly back towards the town. "I still think you'll be awesome!"
"But not awesome enough, Dashie!!" he called after her.
He turned to face Fluttershy's lovely cottage - it was of course a lovely scene of natural activity. The birds flew and chased one another around the trees, others nestled into the bird houses placed around the grounds. Others sat in branches and appeared to be practicing songs together. He'd not seen so many different species of avian cooperating in a fashion such as this before, to produce the most wonderful music. That Fluttershy was able to communicate with them and indeed conduct their singing so well was one of the many things about her that fascinated him.
He took another deep breath and crossed over the bridge to the door to the cottage. He knocked gently on the door. "Fluttershy? Are you home?" he asked hopefully. There was a muffled squeak from the other side of the door somewhere. A few seconds later, the door slid gently open, and there she was. She looked out at him, her expression momentarily pensive.
"Have I chosen a bad time to come and visit, Fluttershy?" he asked solemnly.
"No, Karn, I'm okay!" They stood facing one another in front of the open door. "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, please come in!"
He made his way inside and she gently closed the door behind her. He felt overjoyed to see the familiar animal friends he had made on his last visit inside the cottage. A warm, wide smile spread across his face, and once more he lay himself on the floor to pose less of a threat to them. To his delight, they once again came to see him. There were the squirrels, raccoons, birds, beavers - so many different woodland friends. They all seemed to want to chat with him again, although he was unable to understand what they were saying. The younger critters began to treat the rest of his body as some fortuitous playground equipment, chasing each other up and down his back, nibbling his boots and generally carousing. "They are all so lovely, Fluttershy! Do you know what they're saying?" he asked.
She smiled down at him, prostrate upon the floor. "They're all very happy to see you again! The children love it when you come around. They love to climb over you and are telling each other how much fun you are to be around. They ... they seem to love you, Karn ... they trust you," she observed.
Karn smiled softly back at Fluttershy's friends. "Well, I am very pleased to meet all of you again, too!" he managed. "I should like very much to spend more time with you all."
"Karn ... would you like some lemon tea? I hope it won't cause you to be upset like last time."
"Oh Fluttershy, that would be lovely, thank you! You make the most exquisite lemon tea, if I may say so!"
She began to prepare the tea and produced a few muffins from Sugarcube corner that she had been saving.
"So, was Rarity doing better when you left?" she asked.
"I feel so sorry for her. I am just completely uncoordinated when it comes to dancing, Fluttershy. I really made a mess of her, no matter how hard I'd tried not to," he continued. Apologizing to the animals he now considered mutual acquaintances, he rose slowly to his feet and crossed to Fluttershy's kitchen. The kettle had not quite boiled, and she was retrieving the lemon tea from her shelves.
"Thank you for letting me come and visit you, Fluttershy. I hope you don't mind my doing so?"
"Oh no, not at all! I like it when you visit!" she admitted.
He managed a smile. "I'm glad to hear that," he replied warmly.
It took her a moment to realize she had been staring at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, turning quickly back to face the slowly steaming kettle.
"Um, that's okay, Fluttershy," he said, in confusion. "So! Is everything okay? Here at the cottage, I mean? I'm running out of odd jobs to do at the farm, so if there's any I can do here to help at all and you don't mind Equestria's foremost dancing disaster being allowed to wield a hammer, I'd love to help fix anything that needs repair? I promise, I shall endeavor to offer not so much as a two step until my training with Rarity is complete!" he managed, hoping the light hearted attempt at silliness would serve to glean the cause of her recent change of feeling towards him.
"Karn, I ..." she started, before trailing off.
"Fluttershy?"
She stood with her back to him, the better to hide the tears gently running down her cheeks. "Karn ... I don't want to appear rude, but ... I'm sorry, I think I just need to be alone for the moment. I'm ... I think I'm just not feeling too well ... I'm sorry."
Her words thrust into his chest like a hot knife.
"Fluttershy ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you," he whispered sadly. "I'll ... give you some peace. I understand if you want time to be alone."
He turned and slowly walked back to the front door, as Fluttershy bit her lip to stop herself sobbing. He stopped at the door, turned to face the back of her once more. "I hope I haven't done something to upset you, Fluttershy. If I did, then ... well, please know that I'm very sorry," he said to her, gently. He opened the door, quietly stepped outside and closed it behind him. He walked back across the bridge and back towards Sugarcube corner, where he'd agreed to meet Rainbow Dash before heading back out to Sweet Apple Acres.
His mind was awash with a bewildering variety of confusing and conflicting emotions. What was happening?
It had finally reached 'party day' minus two. Karn was now starting to feel his nerves ratcheting up a gear. In order to try and alleviate that, he'd decided to go for a morning run around the orchard. As it was just before dawn, it would soon be time to rise and commence work anyway. Rising from his bed and completing some stretches, he made another check of his cider brewing experiment before putting on his clean uniform shirt and vaulting down from the hay loft. 'If my nerves aren't going to leave me in peace,' he thought angrily, 'I'll just put them to work for a while instead.'
There was a gentle breeze blowing this morning, but there was no bite in it. The morning was still, only a few birds in some of the trees bothered to stir. The light of a nearly full moon lit his path along the side of the fence line perfectly. As quiet as things were, he found his mind drifting to the subject of Fluttershy. He continued jogging across the last of the apple trees at the side of the fence line, just before the curve in the path that led to the farm house. It felt like a reasonable distance for one leg of his run. Thoughts of Fluttershy crept back into his mind, gently nudging aside his attempts to distract himself by focusing on planning his path.
'Why has she suddenly become so distant?' he wondered. They had seemed to be very close, but this past week, she had become a lot more withdrawn. Sometimes it seemed like she wanted to ask him something, but was hesitant to. Had he frightened her somehow? He thought back over their interactions, carefully trying to figure out what he could have done to have made her so tense. He'd tried to strike up a conversation with her so many times, but she'd been reluctant to converse with him. 'Has anything about me changed that much to make her dislike talking with me anymore?' he thought sadly. He focused momentarily on the ground in front of him, as he tried to increase his pace through the orchard.
The sun was ever so gently starting to break the horizon as he crossed the halfway mark of the route he had planned. He found himself running, and watching the gently changing colors across the sky.
After completing the fourth and final leg of his morning run, he slowly approached the farmhouse. Applejack had apparently just made her way out of the farm house to go and rouse him and was surprised to see him walking back up towards her from the orchard, flushed and sweating after his exertion.
"Good mornin' sugar cube! Did ya decide to get started early with work?" she laughed. Evidently his desire to use running as means to calm his nerves was a source of humor for her.
"Well," he panted upon finally reaching her, "if I'm going to be here any longer, I'm going to need to start learning how to kick apples out of trees! I'm almost out of sheds, barns, doors and fences to repair and maintain. Unless you'd like me to traverse the boundary and give the strainers another coat of paint?"
She just smiled and shook her head. "You don't need to be worryin' about that jest yet. There's always something around here ta keep ya busy. Sure is a beautiful sunrise a-comin'!"
Karn stood with his hands on his hips, his breath once more having caught up with him. Beads of perspiration slowly evaporated from his skin in the cool morning air. He turned around to face the sunrise. "Yep, it's certainly a wondrous view," he agreed.
The horizon was dark against the contrast of the sun, as the first morning rays blew red and orange across the sky. The few stars left that fought against its brilliance were beginning to twinkle out of existence. The endless horizon - dark, featureless. 'You shouldn't be looking at the light - you'll lose your night vision' a voice that had worked to the front of his thoughts said. This was dangerous, he thought, too exposed.
He needed cover.
The red and yellow of the sky before him slowly began to twist and shake, forming itself into plumes erupting across the edge of the horizon. 'Get the fuck down before you get your head shot off,' someone roared, 'Get down before I stick my dick in your ear and fuck some sense into you!' ordered another. Overhead, the artillery shells of a bombardment roared, sounding for all the world like some giant, unseen evil was throwing its fists through the morning sky. His platoon was ready - fresh reinforcements had arrived to replace those dead or wounded. Some of them were awfully green - they shook with each explosion that roared back from the wall of metal and death that filled the skyline before them.
The order to advance came and men rose and moved as rapidly as they could through the shell cratered ground. He'd found himself carrying his rifle, moving adroitly through the mud and decaying corpses - a sight so common for him by now as to barely register when his adrenaline flowed. Flashes of light and bolts from energy weapons defiled the morning air. The sickening, tearing sound of them finding warm, human targets and shattering them. The blood curdling screams of those not killed outright assailed the air. There were so many wounded already, this battle was only minutes old. 'You're too exposed' he'd thought angrily to himself.
Don't stop. Keep moving.
More bolts had flown and the private beside him had evaporated into a haze of blood and atomized flesh, as yet another weapon had found its target. He had wiped the blood and remnants of his comrade from his face and continued his push forwards. The screams around him had grown louder - some pleaded for God to save them, others in terror and still others had been roaring encouragement.
Keep moving.
He found himself bolting over obstacles, dead and wounded, past armored vehicles that had been desiccated - their lifeless operators spread ghoulishly over their still-burning hulks. Shells, not yet depleted, exploded from the burning wreckage and showered metal fragments at the adepts who had continued to charge around them. Some had fallen silently, their bodies riddled with holes - others torn to pieces by larger flying shrapnel had just collapsed into rumbled heaps, held together only by the remnants of their uniforms.
'Don't stay here, God dammit. Forget the dead. For them, the fucking nightmare is over.'
There was shelter - finally. He found himself madly grasping at a door handle. Someone was desperately trying to hold him back.
"Get the fuck off me! We need the fucking shelter , for Christ's sake! You want to get us all fucking killed?" he roared.
"KARN! IT'S ME! IT'S APPLEJACK! SLOW DOWN! IT'S OKAY!"
"What ... fuck , you're not safe here!! The fucking ..."
"KARN!!! Listen to me! You're here in Equestria! Yer safe! It's me, it's AJ! Remember?"
He slowly collapsed against the door of the barn, sliding slowly down until he was seated on the ground. His fingers were bleeding from where he'd been clawing at the doors to get inside. He was breathing very heavily and his heart was racing. "... Applejack?" he gasped.
"Karn! Yer okay, d'ya hear me? Yer safe here, it's me! Yer here at Sweet Apple Acres! This is Equestria! D'ya remember now?" She was now on top of him, pinning his legs down as firmly as she could.
"But ... there was ..." he pleaded, as he stared blindly at Applejack. He sat there, panting. His breathing slowed and reason began to wrest control back from his terror and brought the world around him into focus. He began to realize what had happened. Another Goddamn flash back, blindsiding him again. His addled mind punishing him for having had the audacity to - what? Gaze upon a sunrise? The pain at the tips of his fingers began to register. Slowly raising his hands in front of his face, he could see the abrasions. They were mercifully not very deep, but splinters of wood from the barn door studded his finger tips. He let his hands slowly sink into his lap and he sat there, exhausted and just looked up at Applejack.
"Karn, it's okay. Ahm right here, I ain't lettin' you go."
"Applejack ..." he mumbled, overcome with emotion. He closed his eyes as tears joined the perspiration on his face. Shaking his head slowly from side to side, he felt confused and terrified. "Applejack ... please help me," he sobbed quietly.
"It's okay, Karn, it's over. It was jest one of yer turns - yer safe now, sugar cube," she soothed, as she placed her hooves gently around him. To her surprise, he was actually shaking - from fear or crying she wasn't sure. "It's all over now, I gotya."
It wasn't exactly the sort of morning chore he ever thought Applejack would have to be doing - that of gently washing the blood off his hands and helping him up into the farmhouse to sit down.
"I regret to have to inform you, AJ, that I currently do not have any kind of appetite."
"Well, ah pretty well figured you wouldn't. Are you able to sit down here at the table fer a bit?"
"That would be lovely. Thank you," he whispered. He slowly took a seat at side of the table facing the door - his customary place.
"What in tarnation did you do ter yer hands?" asked Granny Smith.
"Oh, Granny, don't go pesterin' him about it. He just had an accident is all."
Apple Bloom looked at the ends of Karn's hands. "Karn? Are you okay?"
"Yes, miss Bloom, I'm fine. I just had a small disagreement with the barn door."
"A what with the barn door?"
"Don't you go askin' him a load of questions this morning, he's had a bit of a rough time."
Karn managed a gentle smile for Apple Bloom. "Thank you for asking, miss Bloom, but I'll be okay. I just need to remove some of these splinters and I suspect I shall be ready for action again," he reassured her. He looked back up to Applejack. She didn't seem to want to be more than about five paces away from him at the moment. He certainly couldn't hold that against her. "AJ, could I trouble you for a needle? It seems I have some splines that need to be recovered from my person," he asked. The attempt at dry wit did little to ease her concern.
"Okay, but please rest here. And don't you move."
Karn gently rested his hands palm upwards on the table. "I promise, AJ. I won't be running anywhere else for the moment. I shall assume the anatomical position and ... remain here," he stated, almost breathlessly. He rested back against the chair as well as he could, given its relative size. He closed his eyes and concentrated on deep breathing, ignoring the annoying pin pricks that he could feel across his fingers. Was there nowhere sacred for him - was there nowhere he could trust himself to be without visions of hell exploding in front of him?
A fine needle was duly produced. Applejack sat in the chair nearest to him. "Do yew want some help?" she asked softly, her own adrenaline having worn off as well.
"After everything you've done for me already?" He flashed her a smile. "Thank you, AJ, but I think my hands have stopped shaking enough now for me to do some digging here as it were," he said as gracefully as he could. He took the needle and commenced the business of removing the splinters from his hands. "Who knows," he offered, "this might become a peculiar hobby of mine."
"Karn, don't be sayin' that," replied Applejack, softly.
He continued prying at the irritating wooden spears within his digits. "Well, at least the removing of splinters would keep me busy. Busier than my run this morning was supposed to."
"Now that you mention it, jest what were yew thinkin', headin' out into the orchard before dawn on yer own?"
"Actually, I'd awoken quite early, and strange to tell, my anxiety was particularly bad. Being unable to sleep, I thought I'd get up do some exercise to keep myself busy," he explained. God but some of these things were deeper than he'd thought, he winced. "To be fair, the run itself was pleasant and helped wake me up. It was ... well. The sunrise, I guess. For a moment, the colors gave me the impression of a battlefield that I was on some time ago."
Applejack studied him carefully. "I knew somethin' was wrong. You sort of blanked out and said something about gettin' under cover. Next thing I knew you were runnin' and vaultin' yer way across to the barn and dang near ripped the doors of their hinges," she recalled. Her retelling of the morning's events gave him an involuntary jerk. He grimaced again as the needle struck his finger. "I think we'd better be lettin' Twilight know about this mornin'."
Karn could only look up and nod his agreement.
Applejack had taken the morning off work to help escort Karn back into Ponyville. The trek out towards Twilight's house had been a quiet one. He wasn't depressed so much as he was haggard. He was fatigued, having not slept terribly well the night before. He had thought the early morning run would have helped calm his nerves, yet now he had a very concerned pony companion and sore hands for his trouble.
Having left Karn in Twilight's very capable hooves, Applejack had made her apologies and returned to Sweet Apple Acres.
Twilight was, as he'd expected, quite upset at him for having acted so rashly.
"Karn, what were you thinking, for Celestia's sake? What if you'd had a flashback when you were out on your own in the back of the orchard? Who knows what could have happened to you!"
"I am on the floor of the hospital again," he said tiredly.
She looked at him with concern. "You're ... not having another one, are you?"
He smiled a little and shook his head. "No, Twilight. It's just the way you pointed out my foolishness made me think of that morning on the floor of the hospital."
"Karn, I'm not trying to be mean to you ..."
"I know, Twilight. Don't misunderstand me, I concur with you. It was very foolish of me to go tearing around the back of the farm. Had I experienced such a flashback as I had this morning whilst on my own," he agreed, looking down at his hands, "things could have been a good deal worse."
"What in Equestria triggered your episode this time?"
He sighed and gazed back up at her. Not for the first time, he was surprised at just how beautiful they could be, these ponies, when they were concerned or focused on anything. "The sunrise," he muttered finally.
"The sunrise, Karn?" She raised an eyebrow, incredulously.
He tried to rest back a little on the undersized chair. Subconsciously, he determined that his next task should be to start making himself some furniture. "The sunrise against the horizon. It just looked so frightfully similar to a scene before a particularly unpleasant battle I was involved in many cycles ago ... or 'years' ago, I guess."
"That was all? Just the sunrise?" she questioned, raising both eyebrows.
"I suspect a combination of factors were involved, Twilight. The sunrise, anxiety about this party that's coming up, my lack of sleep the night before, worrying about ..." he broke off abruptly. ‘Worrying about Fluttershy', he realized.
"You had trouble sleeping? Have the nightmares returned?" asked Twilight.
"No, mercifully. They have stayed well away from me since my fever broke in the hospital."
"You mean since that night that ... well, Fluttershy ..."
"Well, yes," he said, sadly.
The two exchanged looks for a few moments.
"Karn ... I think I need to ask you something."
"Is it about the color of confetti or the shapes of napkins and such?" he asked, attempting to use humor to divert what he knew was going to be a serious topic. Twilight gave him 'the look' again - the one that managed to say 'don't be silly' and 'oh, seriously' simultaneously.
"Karn ... it's about Fluttershy ... oh my goodness, it's hard to have to bring up this subject," she said with the reluctance palpable in her voice.
He nodded. "I know. I have the same difficulty."
She must have noticed the sad tone in his voice, certainly he hadn't tried to deceive her by covering it. "Karn. I've ... I've noticed the way that you, well, look at her sometimes. The way you act around her, the way you've been ... well, comfortable around her."
"The way that I look at her?" he asked, absently.
"Well, yes. It's ... oh how can I put this. It's occurred to me that ... well, that you ... "
"That I think about her a great deal," he admitted.
There was the look again. Her voice was soft, but her tone had that academic insistence that he’d come to know her so well for. "Karn ... you have feelings for her, don't you?"
He was silent for a moment. It was one thing to consider his attraction to Fluttershy within the confines of his own mind. To have someone else bring up the subject of his 'feelings' for her was still a surprise for him - although it was clear where Twilight had been going. He looked back at her sadly. "You are so amazingly observant, Twilight."
"You're avoiding my question, Karn."
"Twilight, how do you define 'feelings'?"
"Well, I meant that you ... well, you like her ... "
"Like her?" he very nearly hissed. He felt momentarily stunned at the sensation of anger that tinged his voice. It was born of frustration, he realized, but it was not a tone he'd been reaching for. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that."
"Karn, please, I'm not angry at you, it's just that ..."
"Twilight ... I cannot recall having passed a five minute interval since that night in the hospital in which I have not thought about Fluttershy," he offered suddenly. He remained with his eyes fixed on her. Any hint of anger had flown from his voice, replaced only by sadness. "I go to sleep at night with her on my mind, I wake in the morning to thoughts of her. I think of her whether I am working on repairs at the farm, or cleaning my uniform. Even the time spent this morning trying to remove remnants of the barn from my hands brought on pain that could not take her from my thoughts," he admitted. Twilight had suspected that Karn had some kind of attraction for her friend, but this clearly surprised her. She sat in her library across from him, her eyes opened a little in shock. "I have spent an awful lot of my time trying to reason my way out of how I feel about her, Twilight. I've tried to put it down to everything from some twist of my sense of gratitude for the kindness she showed me in hospital, through to some ... some kind of silly, primal instinct ..."
The surprise on her face slid slowly away, replaced by what was a degree of sadness she shared with him.
"Karn ...", she asked softly, "... your feelings for Fluttershy ... you ..."
"Yes, Twilight. I am in love with her."
She smiled at him gently, the sadness still in her eyes. “Karn, I wasn't prepared for you to tell me that, but ... well, it explains the way you've acted when you're near her," she reasoned quietly. "Thank you for being so straightforward with me."
He smiled slightly. "It's not really one of my strong points, is it? The whole business of 'brevity' I mean."
"You're changing the subject again, Karn."
"Twilight ... I love her but I am terrified of hurting her. She is such a sweet soul. God, that sounds almost patronizing. I have only ever been what I would describe as 'in love' once before and the feelings I had then pale into insignificance whenever I so much as hear Fluttershy’s name being mentioned," he continued, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He looked down at the floor once more. His voice was lower, almost a whisper. "She robs me of words, Twilight."
"Karn, it's beautiful that you feel this way about Fluttershy ... I really don't know what to say, other than to ask you to please be gentle with her?" He opened his mouth to speak, the shock that she would suggest he would be anything other than such with Fluttershy quite apparent, "Karn, you are so gentle with her! I've watched the two of you, the way you're so kind and considerate towards her. I meant ... just please don't hurt her feelings? She is so sensitive ..."
"She's incredibly sensitive."
"... yes, and she's very ... well, vulnerable at times ..."
"She's delicate, yet strong. She is beautiful yet so kindhearted. She is patient and understanding."
Twilight sighed and smiled back at him. "You didn't mention you were a romantic, Karn."
He returned the smile in kind. "Well, it helps to have the appropriate muse, Twilight. Do you mind if I ask you a favor? You won't tell her about this, will you? If she knew ... I'm terrified that she'd refuse to be anywhere near me again."
She walked closer to him. "I understand. Just ... please, Karn. Promise me you won't hurt her feelings?"
"Twilight, her happiness means everything to me," he said, raising his right hand and placing it over his heart. "I promise."
She continued gazing into his eyes. "Thank you."
It had taken a good deal of effort to convince Applejack that he would be safe in the barn loft that evening.
“Karn, after this mornin’, I really think you oughtta spend the night in the farmhouse. Just so ah can keep an eye on you.”
“AJ, I really appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. I’m going to get my uniform ready for work in the morning, get into my expedient yet delightful bed in the barn, and then my only intention is to rest,” he insisted. It was clear from the blank expression she wore that she had not been convinced. “Look, I’ve had a very eventful day …“
“You dang nearly tore the barn door off its hinges!”
“Yes, and I didn’t sleep well last night …“
“You took off on yer own without tellin’ anypony!”
“Anyway, after today I am simply exhausted. I just need some quiet time to clear my mind, meditate a little and relax.”
“You near ripped the skin off yer hands , Karn!”
Clearly her concern for him was very strong - just one of the many things about her he found so endearing. What was it about the way she sat there, arms akimbo? The way she looked at him with such concern?
“Applejack, I realize that I did something incredibly foolish this morning. I am feeling a lot less anxious presently and am frankly just tired. If you don’t mind, I’d just like to lie down, relax and take stock of what I did wrong,” he explained. “I promise, I will not be going out into the orchard, or indeed anywhere else on my own. I don’t want to have to put any of you through this kind of worry again. Really, I’ll be fine. If you’re worried, you are welcome to drop in and check on me at any time. If I’m not asleep, I will be lying down and just trying to stay calm. No more jaunts out to the orchard, no more unpleasant remonstrations from my inquisitor following aforesaid acts of stupidity and certainly no more hospital floors.”
“... Hospital floors, Karn? … Yer not havin’ another …“
“Huh, no Applejack. I’m not having another turn. I would just like some time on my own, to relax and debrief myself if you will,” he very nearly pleaded. She studied him very closely for a few moments. He slowly knelt in front of her and rested his right hand onto her shoulder. “Applejack, thank you for this morning. I cannot hope to find words to describe my gratitude. I promise, I will be just fine in the barn.”
She managed a frown of resignation. “Well, … alright, Karn. But ah’ll be droppin' by to check on you! You better be in yer bed up here and behavin’ yerself! No runnin’, leaping, vaultin!”
“AJ, you have my word. Just rest.”
“I’ll be keepin’ you to yer word, Karn!”
He smiled at her. “Oh, AJ. I’m counting on it.”
He stood up and turned back towards his present farm residence, his ‘second floor studio apartment complex’ as he had decided to christen it.
“Karn!” called Applejack. He turned back to face her. She opened her mouth as if to say something but appeared to reconsider it. “Nothin’ … jest, please be careful?”
“AJ, careful is my middle name!” Her frown returned for a moment. “Well, no, it isn’t, I do not actually have a middle name, perhaps ‘careful’ should be my sobriquet? Karn the Careful?” The frown appeared to be permanent. "Allow me a certain amount of leeway here, AJ, at least I've convinced you not to call me Karn the Club!"
She finally let the frown slide. Shaking her head and smiling, she wished him a good evening. “Karn, ah dunno what ahm gonna do with you.”
“You could get me to check the shingles and such on the farmhouse?”
“Hah! Well, goodnight, sugar cube. You rest, and I don’t wanna see you outta this barn 'til mornin'!”
“I shall remain within, until I am called upon!”
It was in this frame of mind that he found himself lying once more under the covers in the hayloft, feeling fatigued following an eventful day. His bleary eyes stared up at the wooden ceiling of the barn as he attempted to take stock of what had transpired and to possibly - although he felt it unlikely - make some sense of his situation.
“So, pal, let’s try and summarize. You’re most likely in a parallel universe, populated with very sapient and highly intelligent ponies. You’ve earned just enough trust to be allowed to sleep without supervision. You have one pony who is hell bent on writing a thesis about you. Then you have a very concerned pony worried about you hurting yourself on a farm, another that may erupt from anywhere at anytime to ask you questions about party favors, a very well spoken and patient dance teacher, a young dragon with whom you share a commonality in the humor department, an indescribably patient seamstress and dance teacher . And then there’s the adorably kind one that you have fallen in love with against your better judgment.”
He managed a wry smile as he gently shook his head from side to side, rested as it was on his pillow. Even after the past fortnight, the hay filled hessian sack had in fact held up very well. As he often did in the evenings, he brought his hands up and rested them under his head and pondered all of the day's events.
He continued whispering to himself. “It’s wonderful that she’s so concerned about you sleeping out here. Pal, you’ve got to stop making an idiot out of yourself and giving them cause to worry so much about you. It’s not fair on them, and it’s not going to help you get any better,” he whispered to himself rhetorically. He suddenly thought back to this evening’s exchange with Applejack. “What was that about? I thought she was going to say something there, yet she stopped herself. That’s odd.”
Allowing himself to look at the barn roof for just another moment, Fluttershy inevitably consumed his train of thought. Gently closing his eyes, he allowed his breathing to slow and his mind to clear. The ruminations of his inner dialog thus controlled, he slid into a deep, relaxing sleep.
Applejack lay in her bed, the blankets drawn up, scowling at the roof of her bedroom. "What in land's sakes is wrong with me. He didn't need to be hearin' that kinda nonsense from you, and you had no business thinkin' it - jest as well you stopped yerself."
'The day is finally here', Karn thought to himself. He stood in front of a mirror in the Apple farm house and studied his reflection. It was an odd experience, given that his hair was now cut short and his face was clean shaven. To add to this was of course the new suit of clothes he was wearing - 'a birthday suit indeed' he thought and managed a smile. The person reflected in the mirror looked completely removed from whom he thought himself to be.
He was still feeling quite anxious about the entire concept of having a party in his honor of any kind. At no stage in his life had he ever had to prepare himself for anything such as this. Old fears began to claw their way across his mind. His now innate paranoia, combined with the unfamiliarity of the situation he was in, made him feel a little cold. Certainly his reflected image in the mirror appeared pale. The smile had disappeared from his visage, leaving in its place a studied frown.
"Karn? How are you doin' in there? Is everythin' okay?" asked Applejack from outside the room.
"I, um ... I think so," he stumbled. "I am decent presently, if that's what you're asking."
Applejack opened the door and came in. "Hey, you look swell all done up like that!"
"Thanks, AJ," he managed. He was obviously uncomfortable.
"What's up, Karn? Yer not havin' one of yer spells now, are you?"
"Not really."
"Whadda ya mean, not really? Either you are or not. Do you wanna talk about it?"
He took a seat on the nearest item of furniture that would realistically hold him - the bed which happened to inhabit the only room with a mirror large enough for him to prepare himself in front of. She walked over and sat next to him, waiting.
"AJ, I'm just really nervous about what this evening is going to bring. I've never been involved with a party such as this one before and I'm still not in complete control of my wits around a lot of strangers. I'm terrified that there'll be a surprise of some kind, or something will happen that I'm not expecting ... and well, you remember what happened just outside here a couple of days ago."
"Karn, I know you must be afraid of all of this, but jest remember, we're all here for you. You won't be headin' out there on yer own. We understand that yer feelin' nervous, sugar cube, but no matter what happens, we'll have yer back."
Her encouragement was down to earth, as all things were with Applejack. He was not only touched but very grateful. He gently put his arms around her in an embrace, which she returned. "Oh God, thank you AJ. I'm sorry I keep gibbering away like a frothing lunatic at times, but thank you for helping me through some of the worst of it."
"Ain't a problem, Karn. It's been great to have you here, we kin' always use a bit of help 'round the farm," she responded. She smiled at him, warmly as she always did. "I reckon yer a bit like findin' a new cousin we didn't know we had."
"Well, since I'm now having a birthday that I've never had before, I would be deeply honored to gain a cousin I've never had before into the bargain," managed Karn.
Released from the reassuring hug, Karn sat on the bed and faced forward. He took a few deep breaths and steadied his nerves.
"This evening is going to very interesting, AJ. One way or another."
Author's Note
Particular thanks must go to the very wise and exceptionally patient "Daring Cookie, The ", for the work editing this particular chapter and proof reading it. Thank for the great advice and the notes, especially on what proved to be very short notice. I am in your debt.
It's been difficult to prepare this chapter. The one chapter I wrote originally had to be split into three in order to make the story flow. It was either that or submit the one, bacon-filled 18,000 word chapter and that just seemed at odds with the rest of the story.
Thank you to the folks who have stopped by to give feedback on things I can change and characters that needed to be introduced into the story. I appreciate that.
I do not consider Fluttershy to be a "doormat". She is able to exercise the most extraordinary sacrifice on her part, willing to sacrifice the human she has fallen in love with in order for him to be happier with one of the other ponies. This has taken a lot of strength on her part. She wants her friends and the man she loves to be happy, even at the cost of her own happiness. She is an interesting character. She is strong when she needs to be, yet keeps that incredible strength and courage hidden behind her shyness. She is easy to misunderstand.
POST EDIT 2017-04-26:
Removed a lot of the heavy romantic treacle, but left the core premise of Karn's growing love for Fluttershy intact. Lots of minor grammar fixes, a few spelling mistakes.
Across the seas of misunderstanding.
“You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.”
― Joe DiMaggio.
Karn walked along the road back into town with this patient landlady (or pony he presumed) escorting him, with Apple Bloom keeping them company. The day for his re-birthday had arrived, it seemed. The strange metaphor of his advance into Ponyville for a birthday - 'tactical advance to battle' he humorously thought - being akin to the passage of a newborn child on its first day exutero.
"It's very kind of you to escort one so young to a public celebration, AJ," he managed after a few moments.
"Someone so young, Karn?"
"As the glowing and effusive Pinkie suggested some days ago, since I've not celebrated a birthday before, this then marks my first," he explained. He stood tall, raising his right arm across his chest, summoning the best dramatic pose he could manage under the circumstances. "Thus, AJ, I am officially turning one today. And I feel so much the better, lovely miss Bloom, to be accompanied by such a charming young lady!"
"Aw, shucks, Karn! That's mighty sweet of you!"
Applejack offered him an amused smile. "Well, Karn, ah must say yer lookin' mighty strange fer a critter that's one year old."
"Har!" he guffawed. He looked out over the orchard. Harvest had gone exceptionally well, and most of the trees were now bare. "I actually pointed out something similar to Pinkie at the time. I mentioned that for a one year old, I looked rather haggard."
"Well, ah reckon yer lookin' mighty handsome, Karn, if ah may say so."
"Such flattery, AJ! If you continue on, I am afraid I shall have to punish you with a dance! I should warn you - you may need to wear some puttees or such around your ankles. I have been known to have to render basic first aid following lessons with my long suffering teacher."
Applejack managed a small laugh. "Karn, it's ... well, it's lovely to see yew soundin' so chipper again."
"After what happened the other morning?" he asked.
"Well, yeah. I hope I didn't scare you none, when I grabbed you at the barn like that."
"Oh, AJ. If you'd left me to my own devices, we would be minus a barn door, and I would no longer have fingerprints."
"... Fingerprints?" she asked, somewhat hesitantly.
"Of course, I forgot! You don't have .... well, fingers. Here! Take a close look at the ends of my fingers," he offered. They stopped on the track, and Applejack took a close look at the ends of his phalanges. After a little coaching from Karn. she could indeed ascertain the different shapes of lines on his fingertips.
"Wow! I guess ah'd never noticed that before!"
"Can I see, Karn?" asked Apple Bloom.
"My dear, the honor would be mine," he answered, kneeling and offering her the front of his hands. It took a little more coaching on his part, but finally the mystery of 'fingerprints' seemed to have succumbed to explanation.
"Well to be fair, AJ, the only time you had the chance to examine my hands so closely, I had a good deal of barn related debris jammed lovingly into my dermis. As my father would often tell me, 'lay not your head to sleep, until you have learned something that day'. Wise advice. Miss Bloom, make it a point to learn something every day, before you go to sleep."
Applejack smiled back up at Karn as they continued their walk towards town. Karn's usual high-speed gait had been reduced somewhat. He'd explained to her earlier that he didn't wish to rush. Not only was there a good deal of time before Pinkie's much anticipated festivities commenced, but he'd felt that a relaxing pace would help to calm his nerves.
The three wanderers had made their way to the town square. This did not prove to be a difficult task, as lit up as it was and with the continual background chorus of happy ponies chatting to one another. Scores of young fillies and colts raced around the outside of the square, chasing each other, and others imitated their chosen heroes. A magnificent looking canopy covered rows of tables and chairs, with each place wonderfully decorated. A barrage of colors, scents, sounds and joyous movement assailed Karn's senses. Balloons and streamers - far too numerous to count - filled the space within the town square.
Apple Bloom had of course leaped for joy and had trotted off with her other crusader friends, leaving just Karn and Applejack standing just outside the range of the lights, somewhat hidden in the shadows.
It was a vision at once beautiful and frightening. 'My God ... she arranged something like this ... for me,' Karn realized. He had not expected to be quite so moved at the spectacle, but this was a battle within which he'd become almost immediately combat ineffective. In awe, he continued to slowly gaze over the throng. They were all having so much fun, and clearly enjoyed the opportunity to be cavorting thus. His hands began to tremble ever so slightly.
Applejack had noticed this sudden change in his demeanor. She had made it a point to keep a very close eye on him, just in case he started to lose control a little. She was determined to help him enjoy this evening, whatever it took. She gently nuzzled the end of his hand.
Karn slowly rotated his head down to observe Applejack, his heart once more warmed by her gentle attentions. He wondered at the way she could be so careful, so gentle and mindful of the feelings of others, before using her incredibly strong hind legs to go beating apples out of trees. Kneeling, he gently slid his hand up to her cheek. "Thank you, AJ. You can never possibly comprehend how much your care means to me," he whispered. The two exchanged looks for a moment.
'Karn, please don't be doin' this to me right now,' she thought firmly to herself. The feeling of his hand resting so warmly, so gently on her cheek, was almost painful.
He slowly roused himself, got to his feet and turned to face the town square. "Well, let us see if I piss my pants when I see the elephant."
Making their way towards the throng, Karn quite suddenly and reflexively threw himself backwards and initiated a hard right roll across the ground. A pink blur blew past the spot where he had just been standing. Vaulting back onto his feet, he swerved so quickly that the precise manner in which his muscles had facilitated this action could not be determined. He stood there, hands out, in a defensive posture.
Pinkie Pie came to a screeching halt having overshot her guest of honor. She was momentarily surprised that she had not in fact met Karn with all four hooves to give him the full body embrace she had planned to. "Hey!! I missed!!" she laughed. "I was trying to give you the biggest and best birth of a birthday party party hug! Why'd you jump out the way like that? I wouldn't have jumped out the way, I'd have run towards the pony who was trying to hug me so that you can both hug that much sooner ... "
"Pinkie, I'm sorry!" apologized Karn. "It's just that with this party, I'm still somewhat nervous and when you suddenly materialized like that ... well, I just avoided you out of instinct. It's a very old habit, I meant no offense."
"That's okay, silly!! Can I give you a hug now???"
"Well, that would be ... " he attempted. She was of course wrapped around him before he'd had a chance to continue on with the words and such that one would expect to find in a sentence.
"HAPPY BIRTH OF A BIRTHDAY PARTY PARTY, CLUBBY!"
Karn momentarily grimaced. 'Oh for fuck's sake. Et tu, Pinkie? Et tu?' "Pinkie ... did you just use my old nickname by any chance?"
"Absolutely! I love your nickname! A club makes me think of party games, so I thought that maybe a game involving a club and some apples, or a piñata would be great! I've got so many piñatas and they are all so full of candy, oh I spent so long making all these different types of candy and I made some special ones out of the drink I make that I know you love!"
His visual imagination for once helped to alleviate his stress somewhat. Taking the meaning of his old nickname and applying it to Pinkie's party games made for some curious scenes. He imagined the shocked and horrified reactions of the party patrons if he were to stand on his table, unzip his pants and proceed to use his endowment to beat a paper donkey to death. 'Huh, I suspect you would earn yourself a new nickname at least,' he chortled to himself, 'it's certainly not a fetish that I'd want to pursue on a regular basis ... a penile piñata party, in fact,' he laughed to himself again. "Pinkie, I am so grateful for your work and of course I live for your lovely hugs ... but I must implore you, please don't use my nickname? I earned it for certain personal reasons and it feels really odd to have you all using it."
"I'm sorry, Clubby. I'll make sure I never do it again! I made a lot of special cupcakes just for you, too! I hope you love your cake, I did think of making a large cake out of cupcakes, but then I thought maybe I could make the cake and then place cupcakes on top of it or even make several layers of cake with cupcakes holding each up, isn't it funny that somepony discovered how to make cakes from different layers? I thought I'd invent a ... "
"Pinkie, I am as always in awe of your cup-caking abilities," interrupted Karn. "Would you be so kind as to show Applejack and myself to our places?"
"Okey dokie lokie! This way!!" she cheered. Her bouncing resumed once more and the three headed into the town square.
Several of the ponies present had not really seen a great deal of Karn before, nor indeed had they really seen a human. Others had met him occasionally over the past two weeks. He greeted each familiar face along his procession, offering a few words. He was again touched by the friendship that many of them seemed to be willing to offer an outsider.
It was extraordinarily uncomfortable having so many pairs of eyes watching him and he fought hard to keep his reflexes in check. However hard he tried, he could still feel himself beginning to tense. That horrible, clammy sensation began to return. 'Not now, you bastard - and certainly not here,' he growled at himself, all the while forcing a gregarious smile and offering his sincere greetings to the members of the town.
There was that gentle nuzzle on his hand again. Looking around, he spotted Applejack once more. She looked up at him, the unspoken question there on her face. 'Are you doing okay?' she was asking. The gentle touch and the reassuring feeling of having a close friend nearby invigorated him. His parasympathetic nervous system momentarily took over driving, and he slowly calmed down.
Doctor Horse, the 'good doctor' himself, was of course in attendance. "Hello, Karn! It's great to see you looking so well!"
"Thanks, Doc. I've been feeling so much better lately. I've had many carers keeping an eye on me and seeing to my continued health and vigor."
"That's excellent to hear, Karn! If you don't mind, I would like to meet with you at the hospital tomorrow sometime, just to give you a checkup? You do seem very well, but I would still like to make sure that the wounds you sustained have healed properly."
"Doc, I shall be there tomorrow at the first possible opportunity! You need not worry about the sutures on my chest, I removed those several days ago."
The Doctor offered a smile. "I thought you probably would have. You are one of the more stubborn patients I have cared for."
"Thanks, Doc. I will take that to be a compliment!" The two shared a brief laugh.
In the center of the town square was a round table, with eight places set. Pinkie somehow managed to materialize into one. Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Spike and Rarity were already seated, sporting party hats - with the exception of Rarity. She was instead sporting the most astonishing headwear.
"Rarity, it's a birth of a birthday party party! It won't hurt you to wear a party hat, just once!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie.
"Oh! I simply could not be seen here without at the very least wearing a hat of my own creation! Especially for an occasion as important as this one!"
The others took their seats. Karn once more found himself balanced a little precariously on a chair that was several sizes too small for him. He was moved by the preparations and steeled his nerves enough to pick up and place his party hat upon his head. Still managing a smile, he raised a party horn to his mouth and blew. Pinkie had her hooves around his neck before he could finish.
"That's the spirit!!! Oh this going to be so much fun!!!! Don't worry Karn, I promise this won't hurt you!"
"... Um ... promise that what won't hurt me, Pink ... "
There was a sudden, loud pop following by a shower of confetti and streams that blew over their table. His instinct now in complete command, Karn dived under the table and assumed as secure a stance as the low ceiling there would allow him.
"Oh my goodness!! Are you okay, Karn?" asked Pinkie Pie.
Karn lay balled up under the table, momentarily shocked. His heart was racing and his defensive instincts were now very much at the dashboard of his mind, their fingers eagerly hovering over the metaphorical "fight" button. He slowly began to reason that he was safe and recalled being at a party. His breathing eased, and he began to lower his clenched fists.
"Ah, yeah, Pinkie, I'm ... fine. Just a little shaken," he said. Crawling out from under the table he parted the layers of streamers overhanging it which shielded his vision somewhat. Pinkie was standing there, next to what for all the world looked like a classic cannon. It had a large bore, and the finish had clearly been polished expertly into a lovely silver. "I am assuming, Pinkie, that this would be the party cannon you were referring to," he said finally, having extracted himself from his bolt hole.
"Oh, Karn, I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to frighten you! I thought you'd love the streamers!" apologized Pinkie.
"No, it's fine, Pinkie. I just wasn't ready for the sudden noise. Please, fire away with your party cannon - not only am I fascinated with its operation, but it's clear that all the guests enjoy you putting it to full use."
He slowly returned to his seat, retrieving his hat in the process.
"Are you thirsty, Karn?" asked Applejack.
"Now that you mention it, AJ, my throat is somewhat dry? I could certainly use ... "
"ONE OF THESE!" interjected Pinkie Pie. An all too familiar glass containing that wonderful tasting, consciousness-altering carbonated drink of Pinkie's design, duly appeared. As always with Pinkie, it had appeared seemingly from nowhere.
"Pinkie ... how did you manage to prepare this so ... "
"I keep a few spares around!" she chirped. She reached under the table and somewhat magically produced a second drink. Karn was tempted to christen it the 'mind job' or 'pancreatic death' or such. Whilst these concoctions were lovely, they had a sweetness and a richness that his palette was unlikely to ever adjust to. He'd found that slow sips and taking his time was the key. He was always amused at the manner in which Pinkie consumed an entire glass of what was, as far as Karn was concerned, a psychedelic. She could imbibe the entire mixture before he'd managed to allow himself a single mouthful.
"My dear, you do look very handsome this evening," complemented Rarity.
"My lady, as I am currently fitted out with a most wonderful suit, I shall allow my attire to take the credit," he said graciously. "You should be aware, dear lady, that the clothing which I currently bare has been lovingly and most skillfully crafted by a true beauty, a brilliant seamstress and - I should hasten to add - the most patient dance teacher within the four corners of Equestria."
Rarity managed a blush. "Oh, really, my dear. I am delighted that you are so pleased! It suits you so much better than that silly uniform you insist on wearing."
Karn smiled, the mischievousness apparent through his expression. "My lady, one feels that you could take a weather worn hessian sack, and from thus create a garment of such astounding beauty, befitting even royalty."
Rarity appeared to be somewhat lost for words. "Oh, I ... well! Thank you, my dear!"
"May one suggest a toast?" Karn asked.
"Toast? Ugh, I forgot to prepare toast for the party!! I'll be right back in a jiffy with some toast ..."
"No no, Pinkie ... a toast. Do they not toast here?"
"We love toast! I love toast with honey, OH OH or covered in sprinkles, or with honey mixed with melted chocolate to .... "
"Pinkie, where I'm from, we have a tradition called the 'passing of the cup of friendship'. Essentially when the clans would gather together, the leaders of those clans would pass around a cup where each Kjanken would take a drink. Having taken that drink, the cup would be held in a raised fashion before the bearer, and they would repeat the words 'smiling and in peace I come, smiling and in peace may I go'. Obviously that doesn't mean a great deal here, but I'd like to at least introduce the toast. Would you like me to demonstrate?" he asked.
"That would be very interesting!" exclaimed Twilight. Her notebook again materialized onto the table. Karn was certain that if a tidal wave were to suddenly flood the party, she would spend her drowning moments detailing the sensations she was experiencing, on her way to the other side. "May I ask what a 'Kjanken' is?"
"Ah, well ... I guess you could say 'chief'. The Kjanken is the head of the clan, male or female."
She returned to her notebook and her mad writing. He marveled that the speed with which she used her quill did not actually ignite the paper.
"Right - well, to begin, I announce that I wish to make a 'toast'."
"What do we do?" asked Applejack.
"Once I announce a desire to make a toast, you only need to listen. So, having announced my desire to make a toast, I would stand," he explained, rising to his feet. "Once standing, I would make a statement with respect to the honor I have for a particular person or persons. In this case, I am not toasting one but seven."
His friends at the table glanced up at him, confused, but happy nonetheless. This exposure to other customs was something they all clearly found fascinating.
"My friends, " he said solemnly, "since my uninvited arrival here in Equestria, I have been fortunate enough to enjoy the dedicated care and company of some of the most amazing ponies I have ever met. Fluttershy - for your dear care and kindness, I wish to offer my solemn thanks. Twilight, my gentle inquisitor," he said, as a few of the ponies at the table laughed, "thank you for being so patient with me and for working so hard to ensure that my recovery progresses. Rainbow Dash! I thank you for your dear friendship and the selfless manner in which you have escorted me at times. Rarity, I thank you for the dear care and patience you have shown me, not only with respect to my wonderful attire, but the generous manner with which you have shared your time with me. Thank you for continuing my education with respect to dancing, and I apologize again for having caused you so much physical pain!"
"Oh my dear, it was worth it!"
"Applejack, my dear cousin, I cannot begin to find words to express the gratitude that I have for you and your family. You gave me a bed when I had nothing, offered me work when I was idle and ... " he stopped. The two shared a knowing look - the flashback from the other morning. "... well, for helping to keep me grounded when I was feeling somewhat flighty. Pinkie! My most wonderful, excitable, endearing anti-depressant! I thank you for all your work throwing me such a wonderful party. I thank you also for being there when my sadness would overcome me, bringing me back to the world of the contented just through your presence! You are truly an inspiration! I could not of course forget Spike, my comrade in humor. I thank you for your humorous observations, for they also lift me to better moods, when the world seems dark."
He raised his glass up in front of him. "Please, charge your glasses and be upstanding. A toast! To very dear friends! Cum tibi semper!!" He raised the glass to his lips and took a careful sip rather than the customary deep quaff. He lowered his glass again to notice everyone else sitting at the table and watching him. "Well ... when I say to 'charge your glasses', I meant to make sure they were full. As I say 'to be upstanding', you stand up and offer your drink in front of you, repeating the synopsis of the toast! So, you would stand up holding your glass and repeat 'To very dear friends! Cum tibi semper!' before taking a drink and then returning to your seat."
"That's very interesting. Where does this concept of a 'toast' stem from, Karn? Is that something you would do very often?" queried Twilight.
He sat back down again, cautiously on his pony sized chair. Dammit he really had to start work on his own furniture. Especially if he obtained permission to build his own house. "The toast is a custom at banquets and such, Twilight. Weddings and birthdays primarily."
"Hmmm," she mused. "What was the phrase 'Cum tibi semper'? Is that the name of a leader where you're from?"
"No, Twilight. Essentially it means, 'may you always find peace'. It's just an old language that is still used a lot where I'm from. In fact, most of our medical texts employ parts of that language to this day."
"Very interesting." Twilight said absently. She continued madly scrawling in her book. "And Applejack, he called you his cousin ?"
"Yeah! Ah was talkin' to him earlier, and ah thought since we were so close, that kinda made him an honorary cousin."
Twilight was surprised, but nonetheless pleased. "Oh you two, what a lovely sentiment!" The mad writing in her journal continued.
Several of the townsfolk came by their table. They were all very gracious and offered birthday greetings, something Karn was entirely unused to. Sitting at the table with his friends as it was, his taut nerves began to relax a little. The sensation he felt from sipping away at Pinkie's patented 'mind job' also aided in his attempts to relieve the tension in his muscles.
Another explosion erupted from one end of the town square, as yet another party cannon demanded attention from the audience. Karn fought hard against his urge to dive for cover under the table. This feat was made easier by the warning that Pinkie had given him ahead of time. The loud pop of the cannon was still enough to momentarily make his blood run cold. Grappling with his inner demons once more, he reflexively clenched his fists as they rested on the table. To the amazement of all present, Pinkie wheeled in the most spectacular cake that Karn could possibly have imagined existed.
Amidst cheers and a good deal of lip-smacking, the procession of the mountainous confection continued, finally coming to a stop just in front of Karn's table. The one giant candle sat atop the mountain that Pinkie has so masterfully created, the flame lapping the wick and gently fluttering in the slight breeze. 'Jesus ... the effort this must have taken ... and she did this for me ?' he puzzled. He remained transfixed.
"Well? Do ya like it? Do ya? Huh? I wanted to make the most amazing cake ever! It look a lot of work to make cupcakes that are strong enough to hold up different layers ... "
"Pinkie, it's ... it's ... "
"... and then I found a great recipe for the layers so that each one of them tastes a little different ... "
"Pinkie ... "
"... and then I thought why not use eight layers so that each layer represents one of us? So I used pink for the bottom layer, blue for the second one ... "
"The cake is just incredible, Pinkie, I don't know what to ... "
"... and of course white for Rarity with special sprinkles I found that are shaped like diamonds, don't you think they look great?? And of course yellow for Fluttershy, and then orange for Applejack ... "
"Pinkie, I am truly at a loss for words, I mean ... "
"... and then the next layer of course has to be a mix of purple and green for Spike, and then of course purple for Twilight, and then I added the final layer which is a light pink color. I hope that's okay? I tried to find just the right color for the icing so that it would look as much like you as possible, and ... "
"Truly a cake of the most incredible proportions, Pinkie, I ... "
"... and the candle was tricky, because most candles for foals are really small and since you're officially one but obviously not a foal, I had to find another candle that had a figure one in it and then cut that off to use it on the top! Well?? Do you like it? Ohhh wait until you taste it!!"
By this point, Karn had given up any attempt at interjecting. Clearly Pinkie was being particularly Pinkie today, and aside from some natural catastrophe, she was very unlikely to rise from the groove that she was in. He contented himself with a smile while he waited patiently for her to give him a chance to answer.
"Pinkie, I have never seen a confection as truly incredible as this," he said fumblingly, "I have never had the pleasure of being honored with anything akin to this ... I am ... I apologize, I am very lost for words," he said quietly. He was confused as to why the sight of a large cake would inspire such an emotional reaction from him.
"And now, we need to sing happy birthday!!! Oooooh, this is going to be wonderful!"
Karn was still stunned by this display of affection from people - or ponies - that he hardly new. To his amazement, the townsfolk joined together in wishing him a happy first birthday. The song was one he was not familiar with and so he assumed that the melody was a part of their celebratory culture. It was beautiful and moving, and each note and lyric that greeted his ears highlighted still further the wonderfully giving and friendly nature of the city. He felt very nearly moved to tears, fighting hard to keep his emotions in check. In this sweet moment, this completely unique experience, he turned around to see Fluttershy. She was singing quietly, but there was a strength in her voice. He met her eyes and she expressed shock for some reason, as if his seeing her was unexpected.
The melody coming to an end with a boisterous chorus of 'hoorays'.
Pinkie leapt onto his back, wrapping her hooves around him. "Come on, Silly!! Make a wish and blow out the candles! ... Well, candle!!"
He found the entire concept of 'wishes' to be absurd, superstitious nonsense, but this was after all a custom and a great display of friendship from them. He silently wished that he could be closer to Fluttershy once more. He gently lifted his right hand across to rest on the hoof that Pinkie had so eagerly slung over his shoulder.
Fluttershy, observing the way Pinkie was so at ease with Karn, felt that much sadder. Clearly he and Pinkie would make a lovely couple, if Pinkie was interested. She was certain that Karn wasn't interested in her. The sadness she felt for losing the creature she loved so dearly grated against her joy of knowing the two of them would be happy. It was the frustration she felt that was the hardest burden to bare. She longed to be able to just throw her hooves around him that way and snuggle up against him. She smiled at the happy pair, and yet tears loomed softly in the corner of her eyes, like rosebuds - just waiting for the right moment to bloom.
Karn blew as accurately and forcefully at the lone candle as he could, extinguishing it with the one attempt. There was a cheer from the ponies present, and Karn found himself very relaxed. He had not expected the evening to go quite so well. That was at least until he heard the band commence playing, while Mr. and Mrs. Cake began cutting the tower of Pinkie's creation so it could be served.
Music - specifically, a tune that was most assuredly a waltz. He had heard these musical pieces many times over the past week, and was well aware that his moment of truth had arrived.
As if on cue, Pinkie suddenly leapt in front of him.
"Wooooo! Karn, it's time for you to pay me for the baking soda I gave you!!!!" she cheered.
Karn turned to face Rarity. "Well, my lady, I hope my performance tonight demonstrates that your effort and self sacrifice were not in vain!"
"Karn, my dear, remember to relax ! It's just a dance! Enjoy the music, my dear! ... and remember! Relax ! You cannot dance with a lady if you are as tense as the string on a cello, my dear!"
Karn turned back to Pinkie and offered as gracious a bow as space would permit within the town square. "Pinkie, may I have the pleasure of this, " and he struggled not to gulp, " ... this dance?"
"Of course I would, silly!!!!" She immediately leapt into a waltz stance, incredibly enough on her hind legs. He remembered being impressed with the way Rarity managed to achieve that. Taking her soft hooves in his hands and recalling the lessons that Rarity had gave him, he began slowly waltzing through the town center with Pinkie. He still felt somewhat tense and tried to focus on the rhythm of the music to distract himself from what he was sure was a comical spectacle. Gradually, with gentle breathing, he began to relax and to feel looser. He became a little more energetic in his dance, swinging Pinkie delicately around with style - a style that improved the more he kept moving. 'It's hard to admit, but ... God, I'm actually enjoying this!' he admitted to himself. His smile broadened, he looked down to Pinkie, who had been watching him intently. Their eyes met and they shared a warm smile. He felt her move a little closer to him.
Pinkie found herself surprised, which was not something she was used to. Looking into Karn's eyes and basking in his lovely smile, she suddenly felt warm. She felt safe, somehow. He was strong, yet gentle. Brave and yet sensitive. There was such kindness and genuine affection in his eyes. She suddenly realized that she was more fond of him that she'd been prepared to admit. There was no further opportunity for her to consider these thoughts, as the music finished.
Karn gently took a few steps back and bowed lowly. "Thank you, Pinkie. That was ... well, that was just lovely. I had never dreamed that a waltz would be so enjoyable."
She had to clear her throat for a moment. "Ahem, well I'm glad you enjoyed it! I had a very lovely time."
He offered her his hand, and in what he hoped was a gentle manner, lead her back to their table.
Fluttershy had watched the pair dancing and could see the way their eyes met. She felt such joy for Pinkie - if he were to be her special somepony, or some person she guessed, she knew he would make her very happy. 'I don't need to be here,' she thought sadly. 'I should go and let them enjoy each other's company, they don't need to be worrying about me.'
Fluttershy quietly turned and made her way silently towards the exit - as stealthily as she could manage so as not to attract attention. Her heart ached so badly that she felt very nearly physically ill.
Karn and Pinkie returned to the head table. Rarity was very impressed. "Karn, my dear!! That was absolutely lovely! See? I told you that with some practice, even a waltz would suffice! You were very relaxed and oh! What a joy to observe!"
"Thank you, my lady. I had of course the services of a very beautiful and talented dance instructor, though. Did I neglect to mention she is also very, very patient?"
Rarity giggled. "Oh, you do so flatter a lady."
"My lady, it is not flattery! It is merely observation," he said, as playfully as he could manage.
His courage now boosted somewhat, he thought of Fluttershy. His heart began to race at the thought of offering her a dance. 'Well, it's now or never pal. You won't get an opportunity to spend such intimate time with her, possibly ever again. Bite the bullet - ask her to dance,' he thought. He turned to her place at the table but she was not seated there. Thinking she may have risen to go and speak to another of her friends, he stood up and slowly scanned the room. Upon being unable to locate her, he began to feel anxious.
"Twilight, do you have any idea where Fluttershy went to?" he asked.
"Well, no, Karn, Fluttershy is right ... " she began, whilst studying the crowd. As she scanned over those present, she too realized that her kindhearted friend was missing. "That's strange, she was here just a moment ago."
"Has she seemed at all upset, or down to you this evening?" asked Karn, the concern in his voice bare and very nearly uncontrolled.
"Now that you mention it, yes. She has been very quiet this evening, even for her."
Karn felt his anxiety getting worse - and it was bringing reinforcements. Why would she have left so suddenly like this? He appreciated that she was quiet and somewhat shy, but for her to leave so suddenly without so much as letting her friends know? That was very out of character. The tactical center of his mind pondered these facts, and none of the conclusions it reached were very palatable.
"Twilight, would you mind if I made my apologies and went to make sure she's okay? She hasn't really seemed herself the past fortnight. I'm sure she's okay, but ... " he said, unable to expound further and leaving the open ended question floating there.
"Karn, I understand. I know how you feel about her, remember?" she reminded him. The pleading in his eyes all but screamed out to her to give him leave to check on her friend. "Remember, Karn - if you do find her, please be gentle? I don't know what's been wrong with her the past two weeks either, but whatever it is - remember that you promised me you wouldn't hurt her?"
He looked back at Twilight. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
Twilight managed a sweet smile.
Hearing that he had permission to leave, Karn was already several steps towards the road leading to Fluttershy's cottage. "It would be easier for me to forget to breathe than to hurt her, Twilight. Oh!" he exclaimed, stopping suddenly. "Twilight, could you please let Applejack know that I may not be back at the farm this evening? I'll continue my search until I'm satisfied she's safe. Oh, and let Pinkie know I will be visiting her tomorrow to thank her for the lovely party!"
Twilight managed a sad sigh. If only Fluttershy knew just how much she meant to Karn. Here truly was a creature that would cross hot coals, fields of thorns, volcanoes, dragons and fire to come to her aid. 'You would throw your life down to save hers, wouldn't you?' she thought to herself. "Certainly, Karn. I'll let AJ, Pinkie and Dashie know that you're looking for Fluttershy and may not be back until tomorrow ... KARN!" she called after him, as he again commenced his traversal of the town square. "Please let me know how she's doing? If not this evening, then please come by and see me first thing tomorrow? And if you CANNOT find her, please come and wake me? I don't care what time of the night it is, I want to be sure she is safe!"
"My heart and my honor, Twilight!" he exclaimed, before turning swiftly on his feet and marching rapidly from the square and out towards the market row.
"Fluttershy, I will not rest until I know you are happy," he promised under his breath.
This was one of those moments when Karn had been very glad that he'd studied the town layout and made sure that he was able to get his bearings from almost any part of Ponyville, based on his view of the horizon at least. He made his way through the somewhat confusing market area of the town, to the bridge over the Bucephalus Brook that led to Fluttershy's cottage. He assumed this would be where he'd find her - the first logical place for him to look, at any rate.
He knocked on the door a few times. "Fluttershy? Are you home, by any chance?" The door opened, to once more reveal Angel Bunny - one of the very few animals he'd met that seemed to have a permanent dislike for him. "Uh, good evening, Angel Bunny, is ah - Fluttershy home by any chance?" Angel shook his head rapidly and remained standing at the door glaring at Karn, as if the absence of the pegasus was his fault somehow. "Oh. Well, sorry to have bothered you. I'll look .... " ... the door abruptly slammed in his face ... " ... elsewhere," he finished, staring blankly back at the wooden door.
He turned around, his hands on his hips and frowned, deep in thought. Where would she have gone, if she hadn't come here? Unless she was here and had given Angel instructions that she didn't wish to speak to him?
'Why would she do something like that?' He tried hard to think of anything that had transpired the past two weeks for her to have developed a sudden dislike for him. They'd been so close those first few months, yet since the planning of tonight's party she'd slowly become very distant from him. She was naturally very quiet, but she'd been especially so these past few days. 'No,' he remonstrated. 'She wouldn't have refused to see me outright that way, what could possibly have given rise to that?' She wasn't refusing to see him, he reasoned, she just clearly wasn't home.
He started to try to think a little more rationally. If she was upset and she hadn't come immediately back to the cottage, she'd have gone to see one of her friends. Since they were all at the 'party' there in the town square, the next best place she'd have gone would have been to one her many animal friends, but they'd be either getting ready for sleep or at any rate would probably have been here at her cottage. There were a lot of them scurrying around and still playing in the twilight around her house as it was.
No - if she was really upset, she'd have gone somewhere quiet. Somewhere that would have provided her with a place to be on her own, to be introspective. A calm place where she could spend time with her own thoughts, without being too far from her home.
It would be too noisy at the moment around town, and she wouldn't have ventured out to anywhere strange like the train station or Sweet Apple Acres (at least not this late, and not on her own). That really only left somewhere near her cottage, given the time of the evening. If he was going to find somewhere to sit and think for any length of time around here, where did he suppose would be the ideal place to do so? Somewhere near the cottage ... somewhere not too far away from the town ... obviously off to the southeast was out of the question, since that led off to the Everfree Forest.
That really only left the meadow to the north of her house, and along the brook.
Karn continued his search off in that direction. He tried his best to keep his footsteps as quiet as possible so as to hear around him effectively, but he didn't wish to appear to be sneaking. He didn't want to just happen upon Fluttershy and frighten her quite silly. He kept his eyes scanning across the meadow, at trees, at places that seemed likely for Fluttershy to be.
He found her quite soon after commencing his search. He could see her sitting at the edge of the brook, just north of where her cottage was, more or less as he'd predicted. She seemed to be alone.
He made an effort to approach her carefully, but doing so in a way that would guarantee not to startle her. He still wasn't entirely sure what her state of mind was, given that she'd left the party so suddenly and without telling any of her friends why.
"Fluttershy?" he asked, walking casually up towards where she was seated near the bank. "Are you okay? We noticed that you'd left the party pretty suddenly there this evening - we were wondering if everything was alright?"
She sat there with her back to him and sighed. She wiped her hooves quickly across her cheeks - it was obvious without even seeing her eyes at this point that she'd been crying. "Oh, Karn ... I'll be okay", she whispered.
She'd 'be okay'? What the hell did that mean? "Fluttershy, what's wrong?" he asked gently.
"Nothing, Karn, I'm sorry if I made you worry," she replied again, very softly and a little sadly. Certainly not convincingly.
Dammit, something was obviously very wrong. His deep love for her, secret though it may be, was not going to allow him to leave her until either she ordered him to, or he determined the reasons why she was so unhappy.
"Do you mind if I sit down for a bit? The view across the brook here is actually rather lovely at this time of the evening - I wish I'd noticed it sooner!" he said softly. This was no feint on his part - he indeed found the view rather stunning. The slowly setting sun still gleamed across the brook, which was startlingly smooth as there was so little wind this evening. It was as if someone had splashed a large container of shimmering, golden paint down a pane of glass.
"Yes, it's rather lovely ... I often come here when I need time alone," she whispered softly. She was seated on the ground, her rear legs brought up to her barrel with her forelegs wrapped around them - looking sadly out across the brook. Given the majesty of their surroundings and that he knew her to be very sweet and sensitive, she should have been moved by the beauty of this sight. Since that was quite clearly not the case, it left him all the more concerned for her.
"Oh. I'm sorry if I interrupted your peace and quiet, Fluttershy," he said quietly, "I was just worried about you."
"Oh Karn ... I'll be okay ... I promise."
She promised? Now he was sure there was something that was a significant source of distress for her. There was something wrong and she was too afraid to tell him. Had he frightened her somehow?
"Fluttershy? I don't understand - you 'promise' you'll be okay?"
"Karn, please ... " she whispered tearfully.
He looked back across the brook toward the town, the agonizing sensation of heartbreak started to set in once more. 'Whatever you did, pal, you must've really fucked things up - she's clearly fed up with you, now', he scolded himself. "It's okay, Fluttershy, I know you want to be alone," and he stood up to prepare to leave.
"Karn, I just came here to be alone, I didn't want to be around you and be in the way!"
"Fluttershy, it's okay. I understand that you'd rather I wasn't here ... "
She began crying, "Karn, please, I ... "
He spoke as gently and as softly as he could manage, over his pain. "Fluttershy, my angel, whatever it is that I've done to frighten you, or upset you - I just wanted you to know that I'm very sorry."
She was now sobbing, "Sorry?!? No, Karn, that's not what I meant!"
"Fluttershy, I thought we were close - the past few weeks or so, you haven't wanted to come anywhere near me, " Karn said softly, "I must have done something to upset you? I understand that you mightn't want to tell me what it is, but if you'd rather be alone it's okay, I understand."
"No, Karn, please, that's not what I was trying to say!!!!!" she sobbed. The sound was so painful for him to hear, she sounded incredibly upset.
"Fluttershy, did I hurt you? Did I scare you?" he asked softly.
"Oh, Karn, I can't ... I just don't know how to ... "
Karn, taken aback by just how incredibly upset she had become so quickly, could only shake his head in confusion. "Fluttershy, I don't understand ... "
"Oh, KARN! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU, I love you ... " her sobs now making her words unintelligible. Karn stood there, completely in shock, unable to utter a word. In his defense, his guardian angel didn't give him a great opportunity to respond, as she'd leapt to her feet and still crying quite uncontrollably had flown back towards her cottage as fast as her wings could carry her.
Karn, standing on the ground near the brook, watched in astonished silence as the center of his universe flew crying from him.
"She loves me."
Author's Note
The ending to this chapter had originally been intended to be part of a larger combined one. As the dialog extended and various side arcs intervened, it was expanded out to this point instead.
Once more it is emphasized that whilst Karn is hinted at being very well endowed in terms of penis size, it is clearly something he is not keen to advertise (for obvious reasons). I'm trying to emphasize that intimacy and sexuality are things that he is very philosophical about. He would find it impossible to be sexually intimate with anyone for whom he did not share a mutual respect and genuine love.
2017-06-13 POST EDIT
Author's Note
This chapter is essentially romantic eroticism. There is no sex as such, but there is intimacy and a good deal of closeness.
This chapter is also a good deal shorter than the previous two. This and the previous two chapters had originally been intended to be the one - but obviously that just wasn't going to flow very well - the one 20,000+ word chapter. It has thus been broken into three for the sake of readability. So I apologize if anyone is reading this and gets a stomach ache from the sudden dose of romanticism and 'sweet nothings' and the like.
As with all love stories, there is eventually trauma of one kind or another.
2017-06-13 POST EDIT:
Cleaned, fixed some grammar issues and made things a little less sappy. It does need some romance in here.
When worlds collide.
“Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love”
― Shakespeare Love Quotes 35: As You Like It – Act 4, Scene 1
Karn stood at the edge of the Bucephalus Brook, visibly shaken, as the crying form of Fluttershy flew back towards her cottage in the dimming sunlight. He could not bring himself to call after her. 'She ... she loves me? But, that makes no sense, she seemed to be avoiding me most of the past fortnight,' he thought. And yet, she had burst out to him, out of the blue, that she loved him. She had said it so strongly, so confidently, in a manner very unlike the way she would normally have carried herself.
She loved him!
He had spent so much time considering his reasons for being in love with her, even attempting to analyze those feelings as if they were some kind of illness - and yet she loved him, as he loved her. His mouth still somewhat agape and the shock still very apparent on his face, he turned momentarily to look back across the brook.
The emotion driving his heart switched from shock to sheer joy and from thence to determination. "Oh my beautiful angel," he exclaimed to himself finally, "you are not getting away from me that easily!"
He had intentionally avoided drawing on energy of any kind since his arrival in Equestria for fear of either hurting anyone or having unpleasant flashbacks, but with thoughts of Fluttershy being so upset fresh in his mind, he threw aside such concerns and drew on the energy now. He drew enough of it to commence the dilation and bending of time. He drew it rapidly and with a skill honed from centuries of practice, commencing the bending of space around him. Having thus twisted the linear aspect of time, he was able to traverse the distance from the edge of the brook to the front of Fluttershy's cottage at a relativistic speed.
Racing to the front door of her cottage, he rapped strongly on the door. "Fluttershy? Please open the door, I need to speak to you! Please!" The door flew open and he was met by a very angry looking Angel Bunny, who stood there glaring upwards and stamping his foot. "Angel Bunny, where is Fluttershy? Is she here? Did she come back to her cottage?" Angel indicated directly across the living room, to a couch upon which lay the sad and shuddering form of Fluttershy.
The sight of her like this made his heart sin. His shoulders fell, and with tears of his own to add to the sorry scene, he slowly shook his head from side to side. "Oh Fluttershy, no," he whispered.
He slowly crossed the living room towards where she was presently lying. He could hear her sobbing quite uncontrollably, turned away from him as she lay facing the back of the sofa. The sight of her crying and in such emotional pain had broken Karn's heart, shattered it quite to pieces. 'I have fought so many battles, so many wars, seen all manner of horrors and participated in tribulations the likes of which none of these ponies could ever possibly hope to comprehend ... yet none of those things have pained me as much as the sight of this,' he thought to himself. The shared agony of their situation bit into his soul with the tragic misunderstanding of their mutual feelings now apparent.
Having slowly crossed the room, he stopped just within ear shot of her. Gently, as softly as he could manage with his voice and yet still be heard, he spoke. "Fluttershy ... do you mind if I come a little closer to you? I have a few things I need to tell you."
She managed a slight nod of her head, but remained with her back to him - her sobbing and trembling continued.
He slowly and quietly stepped towards the sofa, before kneeling down next to her head. He could not make out the features of her face as it was covered by her mane, stuck somewhat to her cheeks by her poor tears. She was balled up on the sofa, almost in a fetal position. His voice was now barely a whisper. "Fluttershy, there's something I have been wanting so much to tell you now for quite some time. I ... well, I've fought very hard not to say these things, because I was terrified I would lose you," he explained.
Gently reaching out with his right hand, he carefully drew back Fluttershy's moist fringe, to expose her sad, tear-soaked cheek. His touch, whilst soft, was enough to make her flinch just a little.
He slowly leaned over her, not wanting to startle her. Lowering himself down towards her face, he softly, gently met one of her salty tears with his lips. She sniffed quite suddenly in surprise. With his lips now closer to her, he allowed himself to admit his own feelings for her. "Fluttershy ... I love you too," he whispered finally.
"Karn," she sobbed, "please ... you don't have to feel sorry for me ... "
"Fluttershy, please - I love you. I have never loved anyone, nor have I ever felt before what I feel for you," he insisted. Once more leaning forward, he kissed away another single tear from her cheek, placing his lips as lovingly and as gently against her as he could without frightening her. She managed another small flinch and a surprised sniff escaped her. He gently smoothed back her mane a little more, and using the back of his hand he carefully smoothed the remaining tears from her cheek.
Continuing to slowly soothe her thus, he tried to make his feelings known to her. "I've been in love with you for quite some time, now, Fluttershy. I remember the curious sensations I had when I had convalesced enough in the hospital to become aware of my surroundings. I can remember that horrible night when you came to my aid ... when you held me close to you after the worst of my nightmares. I remember even then thinking that I didn't care if you were a figment of my fevered imagination, you were just ... so wonderful," he assured her. He continued to gently stroke her reddened cheek with his hand, caressing her as lovingly as he could manage. "Fluttershy, I have thought for so long about my feelings for you, about how much you mean to me, thinking that I had ... well, some kind of silly, playful admiration for you ... but, these past two weeks, Fluttershy, I cannot deny anymore that I do love you and that I love you passionately."
Karn began to softly stroke her mane, noting that her sobbing had subsided somewhat. He could not tell in the dimly lit room whether her eyes were open, whether she was annoyed or just shocked.
"Fluttershy, " he continued softly, "every moment away from you has been an agony for me. I wake in the morning wondering where you are and what you're doing, if you're okay. Your lovely smile and memories of your warm hugs keep me company whilst I'm working. Every evening I find myself lying in my bed at the farm ... and it is thoughts of you that dance through my mind as I drift off to sleep."
"Karn, do you ... do you really mean that?" she sniffed.
Even through tears of his own, he managed a gentle laugh. "Fluttershy, I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life."
Once more he found himself gently caressing her cheek with his lips. She managed another flinch, but he was delighted to notice that it wasn't as sharp as before. His senses were slowly filled with her beautiful vanilla scent and the enticing warmth of her that met his lips was divine - it was beautiful in a way that he had difficulty grasping, and with his senses thus assailed, he felt very nearly light headed. Steeling himself a little, he gently kissed his way up her cheek and to her forehead, before gently resting the side of his face against the side of hers. He slowly rubbed his cheek gently against her, his eyes closed and just basked in this incredible feeling of closeness he was finally able to share with her.
"Karn, I really don't know what to say. I had no idea you felt like this," she whispered. Her sobbing had subsided and yet she lay on the sofa facing away from him. She could feel the warmth of his face next to her and an electric sensation lingered on her skin where he had kissed her. All of this time she'd had such strong feelings for him and yet she was so sure he would have preferred to be with Pinkie. Their situation was still difficult for her to comprehend, his love for her was something she had never suspected. She had assumed all this time that he only wished for them to be friends.
Karn's heartache being too much for him to bare, he slowly and cautiously slid up onto the sofa behind her. Slowly wrapping one arm around her barrel, he snuggled his face into the back of her mane. He could feel her tensing a little. "Shhhhh . It's okay, Fluttershy ... I just needed to hug you so very much ... it hurts to know you're so sad," he whispered delicately to her. He softly kissed the back of her crest, and when she didn't flinch, he kissed her a little more firmly before snuggling his head up against her neck, allowing himself to cry softly.
"Oh, Karn ... please don't be sad? I love you, I really do, I never wanted to hurt you this way," she whispered.
"Fluttershy, you haven't hurt me ... I need you. I need to be with you, to belong to you, to ... to just be near you," he admitted softly as he gently rested his chin on her crest once more. "I'm sorry," he sniffed, "I'm just a little overcome, Fluttershy. I'm not crying this way by virtue of any pain. I'm just ... overcome. I had no idea that you shared a love for me like this."
She slowly released the tension from her muscles and snuggled her head back against his chest a little. His strong arms and the way he curled his legs under her made her feel safe somehow. She had never experienced the emotions she was carrying now with anypony before; in fact she had never expected nor sought this kind of closeness. This human - his loving arms, his gentle nature, the way he loved her animal friends ... she rubbed her head against his firm chest again, her eyes closed, enjoying this feeling of love and closeness.
On feeling her nuzzling against him, Karn held her a little more tightly and gently kissed the top of her head again. "You truly are just an angel, Fluttershy. So delicate, yet so strong when you need to be. You're like ... finding a beautiful, scented rose blooming in the middle of winter. A treasure so wondrous and yet so delicate."
"Karn, I'm sorry, I'm not used to ... well, used to being held like this ... " she sniffed.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy, am I bothering you?" he asked with concern.
"No ," she exclaimed, "the feeling of you having me in your arms like this ... oh my goodness, Karn, I love you. I've wanted so much to be held close to you. It feels so beautiful, so loving. Please , don't let go of me."
"Fluttershy, it's taken me over two hundred of your 'years' for me to have the beautiful honor of cuddling you. I can think of nothing that would entice me away at this moment," he smiled. To reinforce his sentiments his kissed her behind her ear before reiterating his love for her once more.
The two of them lay there, somewhat cramped on Fluttershy's sofa. Karn would gently rub his cheek against her crest, and lovingly run his hand along her barrel, occasionally along her left leg before gently caressing her hoof. He could feel her becoming more relaxed, and her sniffles soon gave way to gentle breaths. He felt the rise and fall of her chest and the loving way she rubbed her face against his other arm resting underneath her. They lay there in a loving embrace for some time, as the sun set and allowed the night its time to command.
"Karn ... I have never felt like I do when I'm with you," she said finally. "I've never had romantic feelings for any stallion before - and I know that nopony has ever felt this kind of affection for me. But ... you make me feel so special. It feels lovely to spend time with you, to enjoy your smiles, to talk with you. I feel so wonderful when I see you looking at me and sharing your smile. You are so loving, so appreciative, so thoughtful. I really do love you so very much, Karn. I know I'm shy and I don't often say very much, or I say things and they come out the wrong way ... like, well, earlier ... but I do love you with all my heart."
"Fluttershy, the most beautiful thing I could ever hope to imagine is just hearing you say that I make you feel special," he whispered, snuggling against her mane once more. God but she was so soft, so warm, so sweet.
"Karn, I ... " she stammered.
He leaned gently forward and kissed her neck. "What is it, my love?"
"Oh, you'll think it's silly."
"Fluttershy - I've mistaken you for my mother before. There's nothing you could tell me that would sillier ."
She managed a quiet giggle. "You remember that?"
"Oh yes. Even fever dreams can be recalled, my love. Do you remember that horrible night when I had the worst of my nightmares?" She snuggled back against his chest and torso a little. "I can remember the sound of you singing that lullaby to me."
"Oh my goodness," she laughed. "You remember that too?"
"Of course!" he explained, smiling broadly. "I felt so lost and terrified, and there you were. Gently cradling me in your hooves and singing so sweetly. It's strange to say, my love, but ... well, the first night I slept out at Sweet Apple Acres, I had trouble getting to sleep. So, I lay back and relaxed, and recalled the sound of your beautiful voice, and the sound of that sweet lullaby," he said to her sweetly. "Did you notice that after that night, I didn't have any nightmares again?"
"Well, I know that you seemed to rest a lot better."
"That was you, Fluttershy," he whispered, before gently kissing her cheek once more.
"It was me?" she asked in genuine confusion.
"After the worst of those horrific dreams I had, I was terrified to go back to sleep. Yet after you'd held me that night and sung to me ... you were there, in my dreams. I would fall asleep and dream, and well, there you would be. Watching over me, in my sleep. So, as silly as it sounds my love, that's why I took to calling you my guardian angel. You were there each evening, guarding me in my dreams."
He smiled, and once more nuzzled his face gently into her mane. "So, Fluttershy, try me!" he exclaimed suddenly. "What is it you could ask or tell me that could be sillier?"
To his surprise, he felt her actually tense a little. He was still wondering why, when she spoke. "Karn ... would you please stay with me tonight?" It was certainly a question he wasn't expecting from her. "I don't mean that I want to ... well ... I mean ... would you mind keeping me company and just snuggling with me?"
"Fluttershy - I could imagine no greater honor," he smiled. "However, I shall do so on the one condition."
"On ... on one condition?" she asked nervously.
"If you're uncomfortable or you change your mind, please promise me that you'll let me know?"
"I promise, Karn."
"I think we will need a slightly more comfortable bed than this sofa, though, my love," he laughed. "Shall we retire to your bedroom instead?"
"Yes please," yawned Fluttershy.
Karn rose from the side of the sofa and slid his strong arms underneath Fluttershy. She gave an involuntary squeak as he lifted her up and cradled her against his chest. He looked adoringly down into her poor, red eyes. "Allow me to carry you, Fluttershy. Besides, " he continued, "I'm becoming addicted to having you in my arms - you may need medical help to have me removed!"
Fluttershy managed another giggle, and nuzzled her face against his firm chest as he carried her gently to her bed. It was still difficult for her to accept that any of this was really happening. To think that all this time, he was in love with her. She opened her sore, tired eyes and observed as much of his face as she could in the dim cottage. She could at least ascertain that his charming smile had returned. She lay against his chest, his arms around her - and she felt secure. Not only was he a dear friend but he was the love she had always assumed she would never find. She reached out to his face with her hoof, and touched his cheek. To her delight, he looked down and met her eyes. She didn't want this moment to ever end.
Holding her closely, Karn carefully made his way upstairs to her bedroom. Sliding back the covers with one foot whilst deftly maintaining his balance, he gently lay Fluttershy into the bed. The bed itself was certainly not long enough for him, but as long as he was spooning her as gently as he had been on the couch, he figured they should both be able to manage a good night's sleep.
Fluttershy lay in her bed, observing the human that she had fallen so very much in love with. Everything this evening had been such a surprise. She had never thought for an instant that he loved her as much as she adored him. She could recall the way he cuddled her on the sofa, the feeling that he absolutely doted on her. She felt the need to be closer to him - a closeness, sharing warmth but without joining their bodies together. The idea of someday coupling with him briefly entered her mind and she wondered what it would be like, to join their bodies together in such a beautiful way, to feel that male part of him within her. Blushing suddenly, she forced such thoughts aside.
He managed a loving smile, before standing up and beginning to disrobe. Fluttershy found this act somewhat unusual, since most ponies did not wear a great deal - certainly not as much as a human did. Karn removed his jacket and suit shirt and laid them neatly over a nearby chair, before removing his footwear.
Crossing back to the bed, he sat next to her, sliding his hand along her warm cheek. She closed her eyes and gently rubbed her face on his hand. His touch was so loving, so genuine - there was no selfishness or hidden motive here.
Karn slid his hand from her warm cheek, and slid into the bed next to her, whist Fluttershy rolled across onto her side, her back to him. In the soft light of the moon and the stars through her bedroom window, her beauty simply took his breath away. His right arm sliding gently under the pillow beneath her head, he slowly slid across her bed until his chest and torso met her back. There was a slight flinch and a squeak from her. "Are you okay, my love?" he whispered gently.
"Yes, Karn, I'm just ... a little surprised."
Reaching for the eiderdown along the foot of the bed, he gently pulled it up and over the two of them, to shoulder height. Sliding his hand under the warm covers, he gently brushed his hand over her left shoulder and down along her flank until he had reached her tail. Her breathing quickened a little and he could feel her muscles tense. He leaned his face down to her neck and began kissing a trail up to her ear, listening to her soft panting as he did so. "It's okay, my love," another kiss on her cheek. "Please remember that I love you? You don't need to be afraid - if my holding you this way is going to bother you, then please let me know?" She responded with a quiet squeak and a nod.
Karn buried his face into the back of her mane, gently rubbing the back of her neck and became intoxicated with her scent, her softness. Gently shifting her tail such as to rest it over his left thigh, he slowly spooned himself under her - just lightly touching her, not forcefully.
She immediately tensed up and began trembling. "Fluttershy, clearly this is distressing for you," he whispered. "Would it be easier for you if I lay here next to you instead?"
"No, please don't go!" she begged, before he could move.
"Fluttershy - you're very tense and obviously uncomfortable. You don't have to do this, my love."
"Karn ... I need to feel this. I need to feel you close to me. It's so beautiful," she said. "It's not that I'm uncomfortable, my love, it's just that ... the things I feel for you, and the way you make me feel - it's so new to me. When I ran away from your party tonight, I never thought we would ever share a kiss, or hold hooves, or be any closer than friends. I never imagined ... I could never have imagined that you ... you would be here, like this, with me," she whispered, as she snuggled her head into the pillow and little more firmly under his chin. "Please stay, Karn. Please love me," she breathed softly, her eyes closed.
Karn gently kissed the top of her head once more, sliding his strong legs further under her. Reaching his hand around her barrel, he gently stroked her for a while, nuzzling her softly with his chin. "Oh God, Fluttershy, you are so beautiful," he said delicately, as he kissed the top of her head. "I love your wonderful pink mane and your enticing scent. I am captivated by your beautiful blue-green eyes, your cute little nose ... " to which she giggled quietly, earning another her another kiss, "... your wonderful lips and your magical smile. I love the sweet, soft, mystical sound of your voice - especially when you are singing or when I'm listening to you talking to our animal friends," he observed. He looked down towards her to see that her eyes were closed. She was still trembling, but not as much as before. "I love how soft and warm your body feels against mine, Fluttershy - the way I can feel your little chest rise and fall while you breathe, the way I can feel your heart beating against me."
"Oh, Karn," she whispered, snuggling her head back against the top of his chest. "I'm ... scared."
He found himself surprised. "Scared? Is it something I'm doing to frighten you?" he asked, genuinely concerned.
"No, Karn it's ... I'm worried that you'll change your mind about me, about how you feel," she whispered, her voice quivering. Those tears began forming again in her eyes.
"Fluttershy, no!" he whispered to her, as comfortingly as possible. "What makes you think I would ever change how I feel about you?"
"It's just that ... well, I'm very quiet, I don't say much and I'm not as confident as the others. Even tonight, when we're lying here together, I keep bothering you by being nervous and ... I'm just scared you'll get sick of me somehow. When I left the party tonight, I sort of assumed that you would rather have been with Pinkie."
Finally things seemed to make a little more sense to him. Was this why she had seemed so withdrawn the past two weeks - she thought it was Pinkie he was attracted to? "That's why you've been trying to keep clear of me, my love? You thought I was attracted to Pinkie?"
"Karn, I just want you to know that I'd understand if you change your mind about me ... "
"Fluttershy ... "
"I just know that she's more fun to be around, and well she has more to talk about than I do, since I'm so shy all the time ... "
"Shhhh, it's okay. Fluttershy, it is you that I need! I understand that you can by shy, but you're not shy when I'm with you?"
"But I don't say as much as ... "
"Fluttershy, you don't need to! When you say you love me, that means more to me than you could ever understand. When you tell me that I make you feel special ... my love, I cannot find words to describe just how wonderful that is. Pinkie and I are great friends and she's a blast to be with but ... she isn't you . It is you that I am passionately in love with, Fluttershy. It is you that I want to be with, to be near, to kiss, to belong to! You don't need to talk to me at length about anything, Fluttershy - just being near you is heaven for me. You don't have to be anything other than who you are! I want you , my love - and you are all I want, or need!"
"Oh, Karn, I love you too!" she sobbed, rolling over to face him. Gently holding her in his arms, he rolled onto his back, lifting her up and onto his chest. Lifting her slowly upwards, so that he could face her, he tried to look into her beautiful eyes as lovingly and as affirmatively as possible.
"Fluttershy - I love you! Nothing is ever going to change that," he gently whispered, wiping her tears with his hands and smoothing back her fringe once more. "You are my reason for living, Fluttershy. You are the center of my world. I love you passionately, completely ... and will do so for eternity!"
Without giving her a chance to apologize, he slowly brought her face toward his, gently meeting her lovely soft lips with his own. The kiss was not forced - it was a soft and gentle caressing of their mouths. Fluttershy raised her face after a moment. "Oh, Karn - I've never been kissed before!"
He looked into his lover's eyes. "Did you mind me stealing a first kiss from you, Fluttershy?"
She gave him that wonderful smile that he adored so much - she even shared a giggle with him, and for a moment he thought his heart would leap. "No, Karn - it was beautiful."
She leaned down to him and once more they joined their lips together, a little more urgently this time, a little more passionately - sensually exploring each others' mouths, and basking in the feeling of being so close to one another. This was a moment they had both been wanting to share for so long. The kiss grew more passionate - Karn sliding his hands through her mane, rubbing his fingers along her skin, caressing her cheek with his other hand. Their breathing was rapid and passionate - to his own surprise, Karn found Fluttershy exploring his mouth with her tongue, a gesture he returned. So they found themselves in a warm embrace, their mouths joined and their tongues lovingly rubbing within.
Finally somewhat out of breath, they slowly parted lips and locked eyes once more. "Oh my goodness ... Karn, I ... I need you to be my stallion, someday!"
"Fluttershy, I am already yours."
She gently rested her head onto his chest and softly cried - not tears of pain, or shame, or even from being overcome. They were tears of joy, of love and of the knowledge of finding who it was that she wanted to spend eternity with.
Karn gently caressed her head with his left hand, gently running his fingers through that mane of hers that he loved so dearly, kissing her forehead. He brushed his other hand down her back, along her flanks and gently rubbed his hands over her rear - drawing little circles over her cutie marks with his finger as he did so.
"You are never going to lose me, Fluttershy," he whispered, once more lovingly kissing her forehead. "I would be honored to be your stallion."
Her head resting gently on him, his hands caressing her soft form, they lay close to each other - and drifted off into a sleep that was mystical. A sleep born of a deep respect, of mutual love, tenderness and a deep sexual desire.
"I cannot ever leave you" he whispered, before sleep took him.
View Online
Learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
“Whatever he had found, it made him a better person. Maybe that's what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”
― Diana Holquist, "Make Me a Match".
The faintest hint of dawn began to stealthily show above the trees of the Everfree Forest. Karn had already been awake for some time. He had lain there with his body snuggled around Fluttershy like a cocoon. He listened to her soft, regular breathing and felt the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He could even feel her heart beating against him. He looked down at the alluring and delicate mare with whom he had been so powerfully captivated. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, lying there
She stirred a little after a time, gently nuzzling her head against his arm which rested beneath her head. A soft moan escaped her lips - it seemed she was slowly returning to the waking world. He was again in awe of how such a simple movement as this only served to increase his adoration for her. She very carefully opened her eyes, just enough for her to make out the room.
'Oh my goodness - he's still here!' she thought suddenly. She could feel his arms wrapped around her barrel, his strong legs wrapped behind her and the pleasurable feeling of his skin against her back. She had been so frightened that he would be gone when she woke.
"Good morning, Fluttershy," he whispered sweetly, kissing her lovingly behind her ear. She gave a satisfied sigh and rubbed her cheek against his arm beneath her once more.
"Good morning, Karn," she replied. He could see her smiling. More than life itself, he enjoyed seeing her so relaxed and so happy. He lightly snuggled his face into her mane, an action he found irresistible.
"I hope you slept well? You certainly seemed to," he whispered lovingly.
She managed a small yawn. "I slept wonderfully, thank you."
They lay together, both exuding contentment and enjoying the feeling of being this intimate. Karn tenderly curled his legs around her and snuggled as close to her as he could without causing her any discomfort. He caressed her chest with his free hand, gently sliding his hand along her. Unable to help himself, he allowed his hand to glide softly over her wing and along to her flank, finding where he guessed her cutie mark would be. She trembled a little in his arms and he kissed her delicately. Gently circling her hind quarters with his hand, he found himself far more excited than he had planned to be. He found her body so fascinating, so alluring. He could feel her tremble a little in his embrace and he froze his hand where it was.
"Fluttershy, I'm sorry - is this bothering you?" he asked.
"No, Karn, I don't mind ... as long as it's you. I'm just not used to this," she whispered, offering another yawn. "It feels so lovely, the way you hold me. The way you're ... running your hand over my ... well. It's very nice."
A low moan escaped his throat, before he offered her another affectionate kiss. "You're sure, now? I would hate to impose upon you."
Her smile widened and she rubbed her cheek back against the side of his face. "I think I like it when you impose upon me, Karn.”
"What a lovely coincidence. It just so happens, Fluttershy," and he kissed the back of her ear gently, "that I enjoy being very close to you, too."
Spooning her under the covers, he cradled her in his arms. She could feel his cheek resting against the top of her head, his warm chest pressed against her, the very pleasant sensation of his hand circling her cutie marks, his long legs wrapped behind her. She could feel that part of him that he had kept covered for the sake of modesty and decency. The curious sensation of feeling his surprisingly large, very firm male part resting between her thighs - even through the fabric of his suit pants - aroused odd feelings within her. She had never felt any manner of sensual desire for any stallion before, but he was different. First and foremost, he was such a dear friend - he was kind, devoted and curiously vulnerable at times. He was charming, and thoughtful, strong and yet so patient and gentle. She felt an involuntary shiver run along her spine as she found herself wondering what it would be like - to be closer, to belong to him. 'Goodness, that part of him is so .... oh my,' she thought to herself.
Karn was himself embroiled with his own issues stemming from their present situation. He could feel the enticing warmth from the back of her, the firmness of what he supposed were her thighs, and the close proximity of his phallus resting so temptingly close to that beautiful, warm, moist female part of her. He had never felt such an attraction as strong as this before, and yet steeled himself against doing anything that would jeopardize this relationship. The love they shared felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity - he was not going to make a fool of himself and he was most certainly not going to act like some kind of debauchee. She meant far too much to him for that.
"Fluttershy, I just wanted to apologize for all of the confusion these past two weeks," he offered.
"Karn, it's okay. I understand."
"I really should have made more time for you, to spend moments alone together. Just the two of us."
"Karn, please don't blame yourself? How could you have known?"
"Fluttershy, I could tell you were upset and that you'd become so withdrawn. I should have ... I should have asked you to dinner, or on a picnic, or just out on a stroll together. I'm so sorry you were so upset."
"I understand, Karn. It's okay, really. You couldn't have known how I felt about you."
"Well, that's just what's bothering me. Even if I was unaware of your love for me, as a very dear friend I should at the very least have made time to spend with you. Certainly I was very keen to have you all to myself, as silly and jealous as that sounds. I didn't make time to spend with you, and for that I am so very sorry."
Here was another demonstration of that compassionate nature he had, with which he had so easily won her heart. "Karn, please, I understand. I know you were busy and that so many of my friends were eager to spend time with you as well."
Karn brushed his hand delicately from her lovely flanks, carefully smoothing it along her adorably silky tail. She took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, trying not to allow herself to become too tense. "You have such an elegant tail, Fluttershy," he said delicately. Quite suddenly, he realized that he was allowing himself to be far too familiar with her. "Oh my God, Fluttershy, I'm so sorry!"
"Oh, Karn, no! It's okay, it feels ... well, romantic. You don't have to stop, that is if you don't mind?" To her surprise, she found the sensation of him gently smoothing her tail to be extraordinarily pleasant - he was able to be so soft and delicate with those large, strong hands of his. A part of her mind wished he would slide his hand to her rear and from thence gently between her ... it was increasingly hard for her to keep these inappropriate thoughts at bay. "Karn, does it bother you that I have trouble expressing myself sometimes?" she asked suddenly.
He kissed the back of her head. "How you do mean?" he cooed.
"Well ... it's just that I don't know how to be very romantic."
"But Fluttershy, you are very romantic! You allowed me the honor of stealing a kiss from you last night, you've allowed me the privilege of spending the night here with you. You've told me so much about how you feel about me, that you love me, that you want me to be your stallion someday. I don't know how much more romantic you could be, without employing candles, string quartets and a party cannon!" he reassured her.
"Does it bother you that I'm so shy?"
"Fluttershy, of course not! You're not shy with me?"
"Thank you, Karn."
"Thank me? What for?" he asked, with a degree of surprise.
"For loving me."
Karn managed a broad smile, before resting his cheek against hers. "Fluttershy, loving you is the easiest thing in the world to do."
Fluttershy slowly rolled over to face him, meeting his alluring gaze. She was always so moved at the depth of his attention and after what has transpired the previous night, she noted something of a glint in his eyes. He gently reached out with his hand, cupping her cheek. He drew closer to her and they joined together once more in a passionate kiss. She wrapped her hooves around his chest as he ran his fingers through her mane, as what began as a gentle smooch slowly became more ardent. They pressed their lips further together, their breathing intensifying. Fluttershy closed her eyes, feeling more aroused than ever, tasting him and enjoying the feeling of his hands sliding over her.
Finally slowly breaking away from one another, they locked eyes once more. Karn's very nearly bewitching smile made her shiver involuntarily. Still smiling, he gently smoothed her mane back from her face and brushed his hand lovingly over her face. He rested his finger gently under her chin and fixed his eyes directly into hers, a look of seriousness momentarily there on his face.
"Fluttershy, I want to know that I will never leave you. I realize that last night you were afraid I would. I want to work very hard to put that fear of yours to rest. I will belong to you for the rest of time, if you will have me. I understand that you can be nervous and that you doubt yourself at times, but I shall never abandon you."
"Karn ... I ... " she started, once more feeling just a little overcome by this loving affirmation.
Noticing her budding tears, he wrapped his hands around her. "Oh, Fluttershy, no, please don't cry?" he said in attempting to soothe her. Once more, he lifted her up and onto his chest, cradling her head affectionately against him. "I am never, ever going to leave you, Fluttershy," he continued. She sniffed a little, enjoying the loving way he caressed her body as she lay atop him. He carefully kissed her across her forehead. "Although, who knows? You may grow sick of me ."
Her head still rested on his chest as she looked upwards at the bottom of his chin. "Sick of you??" she asked in surprise.
"Well, I'm afraid there are a few things about me that you may find annoying."
"Karn, what could you do that would annoy me?" she asked, a little confused.
"Fluttershy, are you willing to allow me to cuddle you at any decent opportunity? To lift you up into my arms and to steal passionate kisses from you when you're not expecting them? What if I would like to be with you while we take long walks? Suppose I put my arms around you, caressed you, adored you and then smothered you with affectionate kisses and whispered very naughty things to you? God forbid that I might help you with our animal friends ... and then of course, imagine the horror of my asking to comb your mane? Or massage your sore muscles after you've been busy?" he implored, the mischief in his wide smile impossible to hide.
She rested her head back onto his chest and giggled. "I think I could handle any of those things for the rest of my life."
It had proven somewhat difficult for them to actually rise. The sensuous cuddling and pillow talk had made the proposition of getting up to begin the morning's tasks a hard decision to make. In the end, with the sun beginning to rise well above the trees, Karn took it upon himself to be decisive. Gently holding her on top of his chest, he slid gently off the bed. Cupping his hands under her rear, he stood slowly so that he was carrying her against his chest. Her delighted giggling served to broaden his smile. Holding her thus, he slowly and carefully made his way down the stairs to the kitchen.
Their animal friends by this time appeared to be a little apprehensive about this new 'human' that had taken it upon himself to spend the night. Whilst Karn did not speak a word of their disparate languages, their facial expressions were assuredly a universal dialect among them. He didn't need to observe Angel Bunny to know that he was angry - the rapid double-bass drumming on the floorboards told him all he needed to know about his present state of mind.
As Karn was still somewhat unused to providing meals for the varied species of friends that Fluttershy had, he did his best to keep her company and to help retrieve various ingredients as they were needed. Those animals that required nuts or berries and other simple fare he was able to take care of for her. He found it fascinating to watch the way she prepared the morning meal for Angel Bunny, though. He sat in an undersized seat and just watched her. She looked so happy, so content - just to be going about the task of preparing her pet rabbit his breakfast. She looked up and caught him watching her intently, before giggling and hiding behind her mane again.
"Karn, why do you do that?"
"Do what, Fluttershy?" he answered, grinning for all the world like a love struck school boy.
"Well ... the way you watch me."
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy, does it bother you?"
"No, ... well ... I'm just not used to that kind of attention."
"I did warn you that I would exhibit behaviors you might find yourself getting sick of," he reminded her. "One such behavior happens to be that I adore watching you. If it makes you uncomfortable, my love, I'll try and make an effort to stop. But you'll have to help me."
"Help you? Um, help you to stop watching me?" she asked.
"Yes!" He stood from his chair, walked across and knelt next to her in the kitchen. Taking her cheeks gently in his hands, he looked affectionately into her eyes. "You need to stop being so adorable, Fluttershy," he chortled. Gently drawing her to him, he shared another passionate kiss with her. Their idyll was cut abruptly short by the rapid thumping of Angel Bunny's legs against the two of them. "Oops, sorry Angel. I just had some ... well, particularly mischievous thoughts on my mind."
The animals all fed, it was their turn to obtain a little morning sustenance. Karn opted to cook an omelet for the two of them, whilst Fluttershy agreed to brew up some of the lemon tea for which Karn had decided she was famous. Seated together, they sipped the tea and enjoyed the unusual combination of herbs that Karn had been able to find to add to the eggs.
"Fluttershy, I'm so sorry about what happened last night. I didn't mean for you to be so upset."
"Karn, I understand, it's okay. I just didn't realize you felt that way about me. I just assumed that .... well, you and Pinkie ... "
"I still feel bad about having not made the effort to spend more time with you, though. Especially since I was so worried about you."
"Oh my, I didn't mean to make you worry so much, Karn!"
"Fluttershy, I'm a born worrier," he explained. He momentarily stopped eating to gently place his hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes, smiled and softly rubbed her face against his warm, strong hand. God but he was in love with her. "I realize that it's not the most romantic subject in the world to bring up, my love, but ... well, what do we tell the others?"
She looked away a little sheepishly. This was obviously an unpleasant thought that she knew would have to be discussed and she had been trying to avoid broaching it. "I really don't know, Karn. I've never been in love before and I honestly never thought I ever would be."
"Fluttershy, no matter what happens or what anyone says, I want you to always remember that I love you. Nothing is going to change that. But I think we may need to be careful about how we break the news of our relationship."
Fluttershy looked up at Karn, very nearly heartbroken. "Karn ... are you ashamed of me?"
He very nearly fell from his seat.
"Oh God, no! No, Fluttershy! Please don't ever allow such a thought to pass your mind! I'm just concerned that there will be people here who may not think kindly about our love for each other. Doubtless they'll be as surprised as I was last night, and I'm not sure how they'll take it or if they'd even understand. Fluttershy, I love you more than life itself, but if the news of our love broke so suddenly and ended up causing you pain and discomfort ... I don't want you to have to deal with that. I love you with all my heart, Fluttershy! Please do not ever doubt that, not for a second!"
She looked down to her breakfast, having lost her appetite.
"Fluttershy, remember how I said I'd have to find ways to remind you that I love you?" She nodded sadly. He moved closer to her, running his hand lovingly through her mane. "Do I need to teach you a lesson right now?" he whispered to her. She finally managed a weak smile, but hid her gaze from him. "Ah, I see ... playing hard to get, are we?" He gently rubbed his cheek against hers, letting the scent of her overcome him once more, before gently kissing his way down her cheek and from thence to her neck. She began to squirm a little, as the ticklish sensation of his lips on the skin of her neck worked its magic. "I love you, Fluttershy, and there is nothing in this world or the next that will change that. I just couldn't live with myself if I put you into a position where you'd be likely to get hurt. Besides ... " he stopped to look around at the photos on the mantel above the fireplace, " ... I'm curious to know what your parents would think of you falling for a human."
"Umm ... Karn, I ... don't think we'll have to wait very long to find out."
He turned back to face her. Her tone had told him everything he needed to know. "Your family is coming to visit ... aren't they?"
She nodded to him. "In a few days. Please don't be too nervous, Karn, I think they're going to love you as much as I do!"
"Do I need to order another suit of clothes for this encounter, Fluttershy?"
She smiled and wrapped her hooves around his neck, passionately kissing him to his great surprise. "No, my love. I think you'll be fine just the way you are."
Once more accompanied by Rainbow Dash, she and Karn made their way across the town to Sugarcube Corner. He was happy to enjoy the varied greetings and hearty congratulations once more from those were about their business. It still felt somewhat odd for him to receive these well wishes, but he accepted them graciously. If he was ever to remain here and start on his road to recovery, he reasoned that being on good terms with the members of the town and acting like a good citizen was certainly the best possible way to start.
Rainbow Dash observed the way he seemed to start fidgeting with his hands a little and looking around distractedly after he'd finished each meeting.
"Karn, are you okay?" she asked, curiosity finally getting the better of her.
"Dashie ... I need to sit down somewhere quiet and out of sight just for a moment."
"Um ... well, okay. There's a somewhat dark alleyway here, if that'll do?"
The two made their way as stealthily as possible into the shadowy side street. Karn glanced anxiously up and down the pathway to make sure they was alone. Finally, he sat down onto some old wooden crates that had been stacked nearby. He inwardly offered his deepest thanks to whomever had laid them there so fortuitously. He rested his back against the wall of the building behind him, rested his hands on his knees, closed his eyes and took a very deep breath.
"Um, Karn? Are you sure you're okay?" asked Rainbow Dash, clearly concerned.
Karn slowly opened his eyes once more and looked across at his escort. "Yes, Dashie. I shall be fine here presently."
"Did someone say somethin' to upset you?" she inquired.
He offered her an affectionate smile, touched by the degree of concern she had. "No, Dashie, nothing like that. I just feel really uncomfortable being around so many people ... well, ponies. I don't really know them all very well as yet, and being the focus of so much attention is just something that causes me a good deal of anxiety."
"Well, you've told us before how you don't like being the center of attention, Karn, but they mean no harm, they're just ... "
"It's exhausting, Dashie."
"Saying hello to ponies in the street is exhausting?" she asked. The sudden look of surprise on her face made him momentarily imagine her as some kind of biological traffic light. The light is orange - don't start to cross unless you happen to have a spare arse to replace the one you may lose.
"Dashie, the thing is, I have been training myself for a long time to be aware of anyone walking around me. Doubtless you remember my first encounter with the town outside Ponyville Hospital?"
"Oh yeah. I doubt anypony is likely to forget that!"
"Precisely. Every time one of them approaches me, my mind automatically begins to weigh them up. Are they a threat? If so, what kind of a threat? If they're not a threat, could they become one? If they are not an immediate threat, are they distracting me from somebody who is?"
"But Karn, they're all your friends here! You don't have to be afraid of them, they're just ... "
"Dashie, I know that. I can sit here like this and agree with you without hesitation! I know they're not a threat to me. But understand, that my autonomic reflexes are by nature hard to suppress and after a while of walking my way through a busy crowd like that ... well, it's exhausting having my mind constantly warning me. Someone will walk out of a doorway and my attention focuses on them. Someone else laughs and my attention is drawn there. Someone else calls my name and I'm suddenly focused in their direction, whilst checking behind me for other dangers I may have missed. Dashie ... I'm just exhausted," he finished, with a degree of exasperation. They shared a moment of quiet in the somber alleyway, as Karn continued slow breathing exercises in an attempt to calm his rattled nerves. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm actually ever going to recover from these neurosis," he growled, staring at the cobblestones beneath them. What would Fluttershy think of him, if she knew the half of the experiences he'd been through? If she knew of things he'd done, of the acts he'd committed? She was kind and forgiving to a fault, but even she had to have a point beyond which that acceptance borne of her gentle nature would refuse to follow.
"Karn, what makes you say that? It may take you a long time, but I'm sure you'll get better eventually?"
"Thank you," he muttered finally.
"What for?"
"For putting up with somebody as utterly broken as I am," he replied.
"Karn, we all know that you're not a hundred percent yet."
"I doubt I am twenty percent, presently."
"Now that I think about it, who told you about that whole story?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Dashie, if you're going to go using my own detested nickname, then I am afraid I shall have to continue to quantify degrees of awesomeness."
His smile was warm and Rainbow Dash had to acquiesce. "You're on, clubman !" she exclaimed.
His nerves now a good deal more settled, the two friends left the side street and continued their trek on towards Sugarcube Corner.
They arrived at the front of the delightful Mr. and Mrs. Cake's shop. Karn found himself standing in front of the doorway, staring at the sign that proclaimed that this particular place of business was most assuredly open.
"Karn? Are you okay? What are you waiting for?"
"I'm just steeling myself for whatever surprises Pinkie may have for me when I enter," he replied solemnly. Turning slowly to face Rainbow Dash, he continued. "Shall we?"
He may very well have had his hand within an inch of two of the door when he was forced to leap sideways and vault to safety. The shop door burst open and a pink blur all but exploded from the edifice. The source of this sudden eruption was naturally Pinkie herself, and she was not going to take a defensive backflip as a good enough reason not to want to be close friends. She leaped onto Karn, who had now accepted that this particular pony was not actually a threat. His resistance having left him, he fell backwards onto the ground. Pinkie pounced and stood on top of him, although whether to stop him from escaping or simply because she enjoyed standing atop his chest he wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps she just didn't want to get her hooves dirty? Whatever the reason, Karn lay there with four pink hooves planted firmly onto his chest and abdomen, and allowed his wonderfully joyful friend to commence beating his ears.
"CLUBBY! Oh! Sorry, I mean KARN! OH it's so wonderful to see you! I've been waiting for you to come over after Twilight told me last night that you'd had to go and look for Fluttershy, which was kind of weird, because I didn't know she'd actually left the party when she did, it was so sweet of you to go and look for her, did you like the cake? I thought it was 'fantabulastic' really, I couldn't think of a nice enough word to describe how it tasted so I just decided to come up with my own word instead, do you make up your own words? I do, words are great fun when you make them up or you hear a word that's funny, have you heard a word that's ... "
Karn could only smile up at her as her exuberance continued without any sign of abating. "I'm fine, thank you Pinkie, how are ... "
"... like 'trouser', that's a funny word! Or 'flabbergasted', that's another one I like, but oh I'm so glad that you got to dance with me last night, even though I know you're so afraid of dancing, why were so afraid of dancing, especially when you were so good at it ... "
"I love conversations with you, Pinkie ... "
".... and that waltz was really quite lovely, maybe we could do it again on your next birthday! I've already been thinking up of plans for another cake of my own special design, since it has to be even better than the last one ... "
"... they take so little effort on my part."
"... and I was just saying to Mrs. Cake that we should TOTALLY get all three of us together to create something really special for next year, are you looking forward to your next birthday, Karn? Well, are ya, are ya, are ya?"
Karn lay flat on his back on the soft ground, a sly smirk across his face. She may not be the most pre-eminent psychologist around these parts, but he felt certain she could take a solid chunk of steel and make it smile. "Good morning, Pinkie, it's lovely to see you."
"Thank you, Clubby! I mean, Karn!" She began to bounce lightly up and down atop his chest. "Oh, wasn't last night lovely? Did you enjoy your rebirth of a birthday party party, Karn? I hope you did, I really wanted you and everypony in town to have a wonderful time!"
"Argh, thank you, Pinkie, yes, I did," he grimaced, before finally grasping her front hooves with his hands and deftly twisting her onto her back in one swift movement. To her surprise, he was now firmly ensconced atop her, her front hooves pinned to the ground at either side of her head. "Now that I have you somewhat at my mercy, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that wonderful party last night!" Releasing his grip on her hooves, he laughed and stood up, deftly lifting her up and onto her feet. "I'm sorry, Pinkie, I hope I didn't hurt you?"
"Oh course, not silly! That was actually kinda fun, how did you do that so quickly?"
"I could just as well ask how you manage to run through a solid door with such rapidity, without so much as making the hinges creak," he returned. "But in all seriousness, Pinkie, last night was absolutely wonderful. Thank you for going to all that trouble for everyone to have such a wonderful time!"
"I love organizing parties! It was no trouble, Clubby!"
"It's 'Karn'," he smiled.
"Yes, I know!"
"Yes, Pinkie, I mean my name. It's just Karn."
"I know it is, Clubby!"
By this point he decided to concede defeat. He could see Rainbow Dash, two hooves jammed into her mouth in an effort to prevent herself from laughing. At least he had the consolation of knowing that they had no idea what had inspired the stupid nickname in the first place. "Well ... anyway, Pinkie, I also wanted to apologize for having had to leave so suddenly. I was just very worried about Fluttershy when she went off on her own without saying goodnight to anyone."
"I know! I was worried, too! Did you find her?"
"Well, yes I did. I think she's going to be just fine."
"You're so sweet to look after her like that, Clubby!" squealed Pinkie, throwing her hooves around his neck and giving him yet another hug.
"Well, as I was saying, I do apologize. I should have at least had the decency to approach you and let you know directly that I was heading out, but ... well, I got very worried about her and just had to go. I'm so terribly sorry."
"Oh, Karn! It's fine! You met more of the ponies in town, you stayed to dance with me, you enjoyed the cake and stayed for the happy birthday!"
"Hey, Pinkie! You called me Karn!!"
"Pfff, I know, Clubby! That's your name!"
Rainbow Dash and Karn continued around to Twilight's abode. As he now considered Twilight to be something akin to his therapist, this wasn't exactly a visit he was looking forward to. The last time they'd discussed anything, he'd only expressed his love for Fluttershy. Since things had moved along a great deal since then, he wondered how she would take things this time? If he was to repay the friendship and concern that she showed him, then it followed that he must be as honest with her as he could - even should it prove painful and uncomfortable to do so.
Rainbow Dash once more thumped on the door. "Dashie, I think I'll go into the door repair business."
"Huh?"
"Well, between you smashing them with your hooves and my attempting to dig them apart with my bare hands, it may prove a viable source of income."
"Clubman, I don't hit doors that hard!" she remonstrated.
"I know, Dashie, but you must admit that you have considerable strength there," he smiled. "Someday you'll forget yourself and end up earning me another client in my burgeoning door-fixing venture."
"Karn, if I was really gonna thump the door, I'd do it like this !" she exclaimed. Karn didn't have the chance to stop her as she smashed her hoof directly into the door. The wood exploded, sending smatterings of paint, splinters and large chunks of the door a considerable distance into Twilight's house. A stunned looking Spike was standing just a few feet on the other side, having obviously just been making his way across to answer the first knock. "Oh ... I er, sorry Spike."
"Wha- ... what just happened?" he asked bemusedly.
"Nothing, Spike," replied Karn. "Dashie here was just demonstrating how she could go about drumming up business for me."
"... she what, now?"
"What on earth is going on down here, you three?" came the unmistakable and very irritated voice of Twilight. "What in Celestia's name happened to the door?!?" she growled.
"Rainbow dash was helping Karn start a business," Spike replied. The answer didn't do a great deal to clarify the absurdity of the situation, and it certainly didn't ease Twilight's temper.
"I'm Sorry, Twi'. I'll get it fixed," blushed Rainbow Dash.
"Ugh. Karn, come in." Karn and Rainbow Dash made their way in through the now rather superfluous doorway and into the ground floor of the building. "So, Karn, how did things go last night? You didn't make you way back to the party and apparently Applejack didn't find you out at Sweet Apple Acres. Did you find Fluttershy, was she okay?" Karn very nearly flinched at the endearing look of concern on Twilight's face.
"Twilight, I do realize this is somewhat unusual, but would you mind if you and I were to chat somewhere alone?"
She was taken aback, but after a moment of careful consideration she acceded to his strange request. "Spike? Rainbow Dash? Do you two mind waiting here whilst I go and hear what Karn has to report?"
"Sure thing, Twilight!"
"And Dashie? Please don't go opening any more doors?"
Twilight trotted up the stairway to her library, with Karn following behind her with his now customary stoop so as to avoid striking his head on the ceiling. Once upstairs, Twilight pulled up a chair next to her desk - that interminable quill and ever present notebook both primed and ready. Karn looked across at the pony-sized chair he would normally use during these discussions, but he decided against making use of it.
"Would you mind if I sat here on the floor and rested my back against the wall, Twilight? I think I might be more comfortable there and ... well, I'm going to need to be to explain."
His demeanor was already starting to raise a look of disquiet on Twilight's face - this in turn did not help to ease Karn's fears as to how she was going to react.
"Karn, obviously something terrible happened last night."
"Well, yes and no, Twilight."
"Karn, that's not much of an answer."
He brushed his hand from his brow, over his head, and tried to determine precisely how he could explain any of this to her. "Twilight, I left the party and headed straight to Fluttershy’s cottage. I figured that was the most likely place to find her," he explained.
"That would certainly be the first place I'd have gone to look."
"Yes, well, that's the first problem. When I arrived, she wasn't there."
"... she wasn't at home?" repeated Twilight. "That's a little out of character, but the next place to look would have been with her forest friends?"
"That was what I was thinking at the time, but given how late it was and that most of her friends were still there around the cottage, that didn't appear to be where she'd gone to either."
"Karn, please, where did she go to? Clearly you found her?"
He gently locked eyes with Twilight. 'Oh, princess, how I can possibly explain this?' he wondered. "I found her near the edge of the Bucephalus Brook, Twilight. She'd been sitting there and ... well, she'd been crying."
"She was upset? What had happened? Did somepony say something to her at your ... your party of a re-party birth ... "
He cocked his head slightly. "Rebirth of a birthday party party, Twilight."
"Yes, yes, but what happened to make her so upset?"
"Twilight ... I am going to have to answer that question in two parts, and I must make you promise not to jump to the wrong conclusions when I state the first half of my explanation."
That he'd seen the need to ask her such a thing immediately made her feel uncomfortable. "Karn ... you're asking that because something happened and it's because of something you did to her, isn't it?"
"Yes and no, Twilight. Two rather emotional stories are at work, one good and one bad. Please allow me to finish before you get upset at me? It will make sense to you, I promise."
Twilight was now quite visibly angry. "Karn ... if you hurt Fluttershy in someway .... "
Now it was his turn to feel anger. "God dammit, Twilight, I didn't set out to hurt her! I love her! I still love her! Do you remember me telling you how withdrawn she'd become from me? How she'd been so quiet around me and seemed to be avoiding my presence over the past couple of weeks?"
Twilight, her face still showing the red signs of her inward fury, could only nod her head.
"It was because of ... well, she misunderstood what was happening between myself and Pinkie."
The sudden silence was such that Karn could almost hear the movement of the tendons in his fingers. Twilight didn't move - the fuse of her anger lit, she remained quite frighteningly still. "... you and PINKIE, Karn?"
The tone of her voice suggesting quite clearly which conclusion she had jumped to, Karn slammed his hands onto the floor of the library. "Twilight, for fuck's sake, not like that! I mean, she had seen me becoming closer to Pinkie and had drawn the wrong God damn conclusion! Don't treat me like I'm a fucking hedonist!"
His explosion and the sudden realization of what had actually happened extinguished that slow burning fuse. Twilight's eyes flew open and she involuntarily jerked her head back. "Karn ... you mean, she thought that you ... you and Pinkie were ... "
"Together, yes. That's exactly what she thought," growled Karn, allowing his own temper to settle.
Twilight looked away from Karn for a moment, contemplating the significance of this information. "But, you're suggesting she was ... jealous, Karn?"
"Oh, Twilight, you know Fluttershy better than that," he insisted. He took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "She left the party when she did without telling anyone, because she didn't want to 'be in the way'. Those were her very words. She'd gone down to the edge of the brook to be alone and to be out of everyone's way, since she'd just assumed that I had an attraction to Pinkie."
"But ... you don't have an attraction for Pinkie ... do you?" He glared at her once more. "I'm sorry, Karn, that wasn't fair."
"At any rate, I tried to engage her in some small talk. She suggested that she'd gone there to be alone, so I made my apologies and began to leave ... and ... "
He stopped, his mouth firmly closed. Palms open, he upraised his hands in front of his face.
"... and what, Karn?"
"Twilight ... she burst into tears, told me over and over that she was in love with me and then she flew back to her cottage."
The effect of his words on the princess was what he imagined would happen if a bolt of lightning struck her.
"Oh my goodness! She ... she really said that?" Now it was Karn's turn to give her 'the look'. "I'm sorry, Karn, it's just ... I've never seen Fluttershy act like that, nor heard of her saying such things. All this time she hasn't shown the slightest interest in a colt or a stallion, and has avoided anything like that. Yet she said that she loved you?"
"She did, Twilight."
Twilight stared once more at the ground, her eyes wide, allowing the cogs within her mind to digest the facts surrounding this turn of events. The obvious question for her to ask ended up being one of the last she arrived at.
"Well, what did you do?"
"At first, I just stood there at the edge of the brook like a fool. I mean, I'd had no idea she felt like that. None whatsoever! Suddenly, everything that had happened over those two weeks began to fall into place. Oh God, Twilight, the sound of her cries, I just ... I just couldn't let her go!"
"You followed her back to her cottage, didn't you," Twilight stated flatly. It was a statement more than a question.
"Twilight, I had to! She was ... just sobbing! She was so completely despondent, I had to follow her!"
"Karn ... well, what happened after you ... after you, well ... "
"Twilight, I'm not that kind of person," he frowned. "As it happened, Angel Bunny allowed me in and ... " His demeanor slid from one of exasperation to remembered pain. "She was just lying on her sofa, Twilight," he continued softly. "She was crying so uncontrollably. It was just heartbreaking , Twilight! I moved to her side to console her and ... well, that's when I let her know that I loved her as well."
"You told her how you felt?" Twilight asked, wanting to confirm the train of events.
"Twilight, I couldn't stand seeing her like that. I had to smooth away her tears, to let her know that she'd gotten things confused about Pinkie and I. I told her I loved her and opened my heart to her. I opened myself up to her in ways I'd never dreamed of doing so to anyone else in my entire life, Twilight."
"Karn, you stayed there at her cottage overnight with her, didn't you?"
"Yes, Twilight, but it wasn't anything indecent. We were both quite frankly a mess, and we spent the night just cuddling together in her bed - that's all. Nothing untoward or ... how can I put it. Nothing 'ungentlemanly'."
It was quite probably the first time since his arrival that he could remember Twilight having appeared both flustered and at a loss for words. The fact that she hadn't put her quill to use as yet was a fairly substantial clue that this state of affairs was clearly not one she had even remotely considered.
"Karn ... I'm ... ahem, well surprised to say the least."
He looked questioningly at her. Her statement didn't give any hint as to whether she approved of the situation or not. It was even possible she may have no opinion one way of the other. It was her silence and her apparent indecision as to how she felt about this new turn of events between himself and Fluttershy that made him especially anxious.
"Twilight, what am I going to do? I love Fluttershy dearly and if the feelings we exchanged together last night are any guide, she loves me just as much. Knowing the wonderful soul she is, she quite probably loves me more than I can understand. I just don't want that situation to be a source of pain or conflict for her."
"Well, the situation between the two of you is certainly a unique one," Twilight said finally.
Karn finally managed a grin once more. "It's nice to see you can add rhetoric to your long list of gifts, Twilight."
"Ugh. Karn, I really don't know what to say. I mean, you kept your promise and didn't hurt her feelings. It seems quite the opposite, you appeared to have inflamed her desires. When you left her this morning, would you say she was happy?"
"Twilight, I think the two of us were the happiest we've been in our lives."
Now it was her turn to raise a smile. "Then Karn, I am glad for the both of you. However, whilst I presently wish the best for both of you, I would advise you to be cautious about this. It's a very big step for the two of you, between her shyness and your ... well."
"My broken mind?"
“Karn, I worry about you having another episode whilst you’re with her … “
“The fact that I am effectively a talking monkey?”
Twilight flashed him a frown. “Well, I wasn't going to put it quite that way, Karn, but .... well yes."
"I offered Fluttershy the same advice while we had breakfast this morning. It took some work to convince her that I hadn't changed my mind about my feelings for her, but that I didn't want our love for each other to cause her grief and to bring further problems her way."
Twilight walked over and sat next to Karn, resting an authoritative hoof on his shoulder. "That's very wise advise, Karn."
"At the time, it felt like I was channeling you, princess."
The two shared a laugh.
Spike suddenly appeared at the top of the steps carrying a sealed letter from Canterlot. "Hey, Twilight! Sorry to bother you when you both asked to be alone, but this just arrived from Princess Celestia and I knew you wouldn't want me to wait for you!"
"Thanks, Spike!" She tore open the seal and read the letter. "Karn? It, er ... seems that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are summoning you to Canterlot."
"Do they mention the reasons for my summons?" he asked.
"I believe it has something to do with your request to stay here near Ponyville and live."
Having finished talking over the situation between Fluttershy and himself with Twilight, Karn and Rainbow Dash made their way back to Sweet Apple Acres.
"Thank you once more for the honor of being escorted home by one so strong and, dare I say, awesome!" chipped Karn happily.
"Of course I'm awesome!!" she exclaimed, that familiar, very nearly smug look on her face. "And it's no problem escorting you anywhere, Karn, you're pretty awesome yourself!"
"High praise, indeed!" Karn laughed. "I had best go and check in with Applejack, since I'm rather late getting to work this morning."
"Catch you later ... " she called, turning to fly back towards town, before yelling "CLUBMAN!"
Karn watched as she sped effortlessly across the sky and wondered at the power she exuded when in flight. He felt pleased with himself for having been able to earn her trust. He could recall the way she had distrusted him so completely after he left the hospital and yet now they were close friends. Aside from anything else, he knew she would never let go of the God damn nickname. At least he was thankful knowing that she didn't understand how he'd earned it. If that part of the story ever leaked out, he'd have to pack his bags and leave.
Still smiling, he turned and walked towards the barn to change out of the suit Rarity had made for his birthday. If he was going to be out working on fences, barns, sheds and the like, his uniform and combat boots would be far more practical attire.
Trying his best to ignore the scratch marks on the barn door that had resulted from his last flashback, he gently pushed them open and walked inside. He was suddenly aware of a curious giggling noise from up in the loft. Who on earth would be up there at this time of the morning? Applejack and Big Mac had to be out on the farm working by now - the sun was well up and it was very nearly noon.
He slowly climbed the ladder up into the loft.
That's when he saw her.
Applejack was lying across his straw bed, her hat thrown to one side and her mane filled with a few strands of hay that had escaped the mattress. She was giggling to herself for no reason he could discern. Momentarily confused, he suddenly realized with horror what the issue was.
She was drunk.
She had somehow decided to try the cider he had been attempting to ferment - and evidentially that process had worked.
"Oh! Heya, Karn, ah'd been ... jest up here tryin' this here cider you were keeping."
"I can see you had, AJ. How are you feeling?" he asked, genuinely worried about her condition. A glance at the large fermentation container told him that she had in fact consumed quite a lot of it.
"Ah have to say, it ... tasted kinda funny. Bit like bread dough!" she laughed heartily. "But whew, it certainly makes me feel mighty funny."
"I imagine it would, AJ. May one ask how much of this you consumed?"
"Oh, ah dunno. I had a few glasses. Then ah just started ta feel all silly like, 'n decided to lie here. Mah brother didn't know what was up with me, 'n jest left me here! Looks like it's jest you 'n me, Karn!"
"AJ ... I'm not sure how to explain this, but you are inebriated," explained Karn, taking a seat on his hayloft bed next to Applejack, lying on her back with her legs spread in a very risqué 'come hither' fashion. Instinctively, he focused on her eyes, putting any curious thoughts about a mare's anatomy firmly into the back of his mind.
"Ahm ... ahm what, now?"
"Inebriated, AJ. The cider you drank contains ethanol, better known as 'alcohol'. It's an intoxicant. You are, to be blunt ... well, pissed."
She screamed with laughter at the way he'd used the colloquialism. "Pissed! Ah like that! Hey, Granny, ahm PISSED!" she cackled wildly.
"Perhaps a less offensive term, AJ, would be to say that you are 'drunk'. You've consumed a good deal of alcoholic cider, and ... well, you're drunk and Twilight is going to kill me."
"Kill you? Why? 'cause ahm layin' here on yer bed and laughin'?"
"Because I began brewing cider so I could have a glass now and then, and foolishly allowed one of her friends to get to it first," he clarified. "I can see her jotting down notes in her book now. 'Subject appears to be delivering intoxicating chemicals to ponies. Outbreaks of hilarity, pegasi crashes and pools of vomit mysteriously appearing near the front of doorways are being reported'."
"Did you used to drink a lotta this stuff where you came from, Karn?"
"Well, not a lot of it, AJ, but yes. Mostly wine and spirits."
"... spirits?" she asked.
"Spirits are a bit stronger than this cider, AJ. It's made through a distilling process that increases the alcohol content," he explained. Looking at her laying there, spread suggestively on the bed, he quietly congratulated himself on not having tried to make a still - things could have gotten a lot worse.
Applejack's laughter subsided and she lay there smiling up at him, slowly getting her breath back after all the laughing. "Hey, Karn, did you find Fluttershy?"
He felt a sudden pounding in his chest. Memories of that astonishing moment near the brook where she'd professed her love for him returned. "Yes, AJ, I found her alright."
"Twilight said you mightn't be comin' back here last night, so I kinda thought you had!"
Karn, still seated on his mattress, looked out the window at the top of the barn. It was clear that his mind was elsewhere.
"So where'd you end up sleepin' last night? I came in here to check 'n see if you’d made it back, but you weren't here."
"Well, AJ, I ended up sleeping at Fluttershy's cottage, once I'd found her," he admitted. He looked down to Applejack, three sheets to the wind. Her ethanol fueled smile had narrowed a little but her eyes remained fixed on his.
"Karn?" she asked.
"Yes, my lovely hammered landlady?" he quipped.
"You .... you love her, don't you?"
He was momentarily taken aback. He could understand why Twilight may have noticed, being as studious and keen with her observations. He'd never have guessed that his feelings would have been so apparent to Applejack. "AJ, it just so happens that ... well, yes I do. I love her very much, in fact."
She remained lying there with her eyes fixed on his. "Well ... ah guess that's ... well, swell," she said, the smile disappearing from her face. "I figured somethin' like that would happen."
"Something like what, AJ? My falling in love with Fluttershy?"
"You bet ... I mean, she's lovely, she's ... real sweet. Ah can see why you'd love her."
He shook his head. "You really have had far too much of that cider, AJ."
"Dang it, Karn," she said, suddenly angry. "Why do you always change the subject like that?"
The subject of Fluttershy was still one that was difficult for him to reason with. He loved her dearly, but he wasn't sure that sharing the news of their happy attraction with the rest of the town just yet was a very good idea. "AJ ... please. I'm just not ready to discuss that with anyone yet."
"Oh, you ain't?" she said, her anger subsiding a little. "There's a lotta things you don't like ta discuss, ain't there?"
"AJ, I don't understand. What on earth is that supposed to mean?"
"I mean you have things on your mind about where your from, and you have things on your mind 'bout how you feel, but you can't bring yerself ta really tell anyone. You must know what that's like, ah mean? To keep things hidden, ta have a secret you don't want anyone ta know about?"
Her gaze, though clouded with alcohol, was surprisingly sharp. He realized she was known amongst the others for her honesty, and that for her to be hinting at keeping secrets must have been a hard burden for her.
In any case, he was still hopelessly confused. "AJ, you want to know what I'm hiding?"
He was shocked to see her actually starting to cry, rocking her head slowly back and forth on the bed with her eyes still fixed on his.
".. .what you’re hidin'? ... Karn, you ... you jest ... why now?"
"Why now, AJ? Why what?" he said calmly, becoming more concerned now about her state of mind. Did alcohol affect ponies this strongly?
"Why ... I mean, you .... you jest go an' turn up here like that?" He felt momentarily hurt, but put it down to her being angry at him about something. "Karn ... you jest go and show up and ... well, you’re jest the way you are ... and, well, ahm happy fer the two of you."
She rolled over and turned away from him.
"AJ ... I'm sorry, but I really don't understand what it is that's upset you? Is it because I didn't come back here last night?"
She paused for a moment. "Yes, Karn. Ahm madder than a cut snake about you not comin' back here last night."
"I'm sorry, AJ, it's just that Fluttershy was dreadfully upset and I had to go and find her. I couldn't leave her alone like that."
"You should've been back here, Karn!"
"I know, AJ, but she was seriously very upset. I just couldn't let her go?"
"Yew should've been here ... you ... you should've been here with me , dang it."
"AJ? What do you mean, here with you? Here in the hay loft?"
She turned around suddenly and sat upright, her glazed but surprisingly passionate eyes digging right through him. "I meant next ta me, Karn!! I meant lying next ta me!!" she all but yelled at him. Karn felt his heart nearly stop. "Karn, ah love you! Didja know that? I've wanted to ... well, jest be with you and ... ah dang it, all that kind of silly stuff. I wanted you ta love me, Karn. I tried so hard to keep that to myself, when ah could see you lookin' at Fluttershy ... dang it, Karn, it hurts so much. Ahm sorry, I should never have told you! It ain't fair on you and it sure ain't fair on Fluttershy, ... but ah jest ... ah jest wanted you ..."
It was finally too much and she broke down.
Karn was utterly lost for words. How on earth did this manage to happen? He'd been able to fix one broken heart, only to destroy another.
"Oh God, AJ ... I'm sorry, I had no idea."
She put her hooves around him and rested her head against his chest and sobbed. Clearly the alcohol had reduced her inhibitions just enough for her to admit how she felt. Another reason for him never to have attempted to brew that stuff.
"Dang it, Karn, ah love you and it ain't fair ... " she sobbed.
He gently held her close to him and cradled her slowly in his arms, trying his best to soothe her. "Shhhh. AJ, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you felt this way."
He rested his head on top of her disheveled mane, feeling her shuddering as her pent up anguish found release.
'I came here to a land of peace and have brought nothing but heart ache', he thought to himself.
"Karn, ah love you ... ah love you ... "
"Shhhhh, it's okay, AJ ... I understand. I've got you."
'No release from visions of hell lunging into my consciousness without warning ... and now the agony of knowing I have unwittingly broken a dear friend's heart into the bargain.'
He gently smoothed Applejack's mane and held her tightly. Unsure of what else he could do for her, he kissed the top of her head. She snuggled her head a little more firmly under his chin.
'If there is such a thing as fate,' Karn thought angrily to himself, it needs a fucking good kick in the balls.'
Author's Note
There are all manner of things happening in this chapter. It is mostly dedicated to romance, but with continued therapy there with Twilight. The end of the story was something I had wanted to add into the mix for a while, just to keep the story interesting.
Trust me - this story DOES have an ending. This is not a soap opera, even though it reads like one.
2017-06-13 POST EDIT
Ubique Quo Fas Et Gloria Ducunt.
"In politics a capable ruler must be guided by circumstances, conjectures and conjunctions."
― Catherine the Great
Karn wasn't entirely sure how long he'd spent in the hayloft with Applejack. She was clearly quite a mess, between the alcohol she had inadvertently stumbled upon and consumed and the sad secret she'd been hiding - that of her love for him. He hoped that it was a case of her being so drunk that contributed to her feeling that way. At any rate, she was now exhausted and presently just seemed to rest against him with her hooves wrapped around him and her head resting on his chest.
'How the fuck do I manage to get into these kinds of fixes?' he thought to himself.
"AJ, you're quite clearly very tired. I think it would be best if I got you to bed so you can sleep off the cider you've had to drink," he offered.
Between her emotional outburst and the effects of the alcohol, she could do little more than offer a slight sniff. "That'd be ... well, ah'd love that very much, Karn. Ahm sorry, you may have ta help me walk since ah .... "
"AJ, you're not walking anywhere. Allow me and excuse my reach," he whispered to her. Gently curling his hands under her hind quarters, he held her against him and stood to his feet. He felt her hooves tighten around him ever so slightly. Making his way down the ladder would prove tricky, so he decided instead to make a leap from the edge of the loft.
"It's going to be easier for me to reach the bottom of the barn if I just jump from here, AJ. Just hold on tightly, I've got you," he instructed. Before she had a chance to question his decision, he had leaped from the top of the barn. Landing feet first, he allowed his legs to fold up and absorb the impact. Having thus reduced the impulse to a non-jarring level, he once more slowly rose to his feet.
"Are you okay there, AJ?" he asked quietly. She didn't utter a word - she felt unable to, feeling the sad combination of guilt, unrequited love and her general embarrassment. She softly nodded her head against his chest. 'I guess no news is good news, given the Goddamn circumstances,' Karn thought angrily. His anger wasn't directed at her - its subject was his own frustration. It'd been pretty stupid on his part to go leaving alcohol sitting around the barn. 'Imagine if any of the fillies had stumbled onto it? When Twilight gets word of this little incident, it's going to be the shit fight of the century,' he fumed. He looked back down at AJ resting her head against his chest. "Alright then, sweetheart. Let's get you inside and into your bed. I think you'll need some time to sleep off my experimental cider," he said softly, in a manner completely at odds with how furious he was about his own imbecility.
Applejack was trying very hard not to enjoy this feeling of closeness she currently had with him. She'd been avoiding even giving the slightest hint of her feelings for him since the day he'd left the hospital - but now with his large, strong hands curled under her, his chin resting gently on her head and the feeling of her face resting against that strong chest of his, she couldn't help but hold him as tightly as she could. He was so understanding and patient with her - she wasn't used to any of these feelings, often finding herself calling it 'romantic nonsense', but God she didn't want him to ever let her go.
Making his way through the now empty farmhouse, he carried Applejack up to her bedroom. Walking to one side of the bed and leaning down so she could lie flat on her mattress, he was unnerved to discover that she simply didn't want to let go of him.
"AJ ... you really need to lie down here and rest."
"Karn ... please stay?"
The pain in his heart escalated. "AJ, I really don't think that's a very good idea. I've already fu- ... well, managed to stuff up things up here badly enough, let's not go adding to our present difficulties," he offered.
"Karn ... " she moaned, the effect of the cider still very much in evidence, "once yer gone, once yer with Fluttershy, ah'll never have the chance to be close to yew like this again. Ah've never been interested in all this ... romantic, touchy stuff, and ahm afraid ah'm not very good at it, but please? Just fer a while? At least until ah fall asleep?"
Karn, still leaning over the bed with the pony he now felt was his charge somehow, reluctantly agreed. Given that he was responsible for her being so plastered, he figured the least he could do was keep her company. He certainly wasn't going to leave anyone who was having their first experience with inebriation go unobserved. He'd seen it kill a few people, usually through aspiration of vomit, and it was never a pretty sight.
"Okay, AJ. I'll lie here with you until you fall asleep. When you're asleep, I'm going to take a seat here and keep an eye on you. I'm still not sure what effect that much alcohol will have on you and I want to make sure you don't get any sicker."
He slid her to the other side of the pony-sized bed, before climbing onto the spare side. To his surprise, she immediately climbed over and on top of him. She slid up onto his chest and raised her head a little to meet his eyes. He'd never imagined her looking so hurt, let alone so intoxicated. She'd always seemed to be the strongest of the group, aside from Rainbow Dash - there was never so much as a hint of bullshit about her. He'd even figured that she would have made an excellent RSM - and pitied anyone who would've had to serve with her after the fact.
"Karn, ahm real sorry, but ah need this ... " she said. Without giving him any kind of an opportunity to argue, she planted her lips onto his and kissed him with a passion that was astoundingly sensual. He was utterly stunned; her lips locked so lovingly to as and she probed his mouth with her tongue. After what seemed like an eternity, she lifted her head again and reconnected her gaze to his.
By this stage, Karn was sporting a mild frown - despite the fact that her surprise kiss had been incredibly pleasant. "Um, AJ ... you really shouldn't be doing this sort of thing. You're drunk for one thing, and for another I'm presently in love with with Fluttershy."
With her tear soaked eyes still fixed on him, she gently slid further down his torso until she was straddling his crotch. Her hind legs spread eagerly across his waist, she felt his incredibly firm, well endowed manhood through his clothing. Her eyes suddenly opened with mild shock. He grit his teeth as he felt her gently rubbing herself against him.
"Gosh darn it, Karn ... ah reckon ah know why they call you the 'club'," she devilishly observed. She began to move her hooves downwards to access the front of his pants, at which point he reached out and grabbed her hooves.
"AJ ... seriously. Listen to me. You are drunk and you are upset . What you want from me is something I could not possibly give you. It isn't that I don't enjoy this attention, but I love Fluttershy. I love her completely and I could never do anything to betray her like this. Given that you're also 'pissed'," he pointed out, which once again made her giggle somewhat, "I really think you need to lie down and try to sleep off the worst of it."
"Karn, ahm sorry. Ah just really ... ah need to couple with you ... "
"You had given me that impression, yes," he observed. "AJ, please think of the consequences? Once you're sober, think of knowing what we would have shared here together and what that would do? How do think that knowledge would affect your friendship with Fluttershy ? Imagine what it would do to our own friendship?"
She continued to straddle his waist, her strong thighs gripping his waist. "Ah ... ah'm sorry. Ah jest really needed ta feel you taking me, and as roughly as possible. I guess it's jest that time for me ... "
It didn't take him long to understand what she meant. "AJ, am I right to assume that you are in season as well as drunk?"
She giggled and leant forward, resting her hooves onto the bottom of his rib cage. "Pissed , ya mean?"
He finally managed a smile. "Precisely."
"Ah certainly am, Karn," she smiled. Her eyes were still somewhat red but at least the tears had gone. She looked at him steadily for another moment. "Ah should've told you ah loved you when ah had the chance."
"AJ, please don't focus on that?" he replied, resting his hands on her shoulders.
"Karn, would you at least mind lying here with me while ah sleep fer bit?" she asked softly. "Ah'd like to enjoy just one time with you, even if it don't involve you plunging that dang monster of yours into me an' driving me against the bedhead!" she giggled.
Karn grit his teeth a little and began to feel somewhat irritated that he had to be so honest.
"I would be honored to keep you company, AJ, just please stop saying things like that? The most I can offer you is a cuddle. The bedhead will have to remain unharmed," he whispered, gently patting the free side of the bed. She gently slid off of his thighs and slowly made herself as comfortable as she could on her side. Resting her head on his chest, one hoof lying across his ribs and one hind leg across his abdomen, she snuggled gently up to him.
"Ahm so sorry, Karn. Ah never meant to get into this fix with you," she mumbled into his shirt.
"AJ, I'm putting all of this business down to alcohol and your hormones. I should never have left that cider brewing away in the loft," he said apologetically. Absently, he gently tried to pick some of the pieces of hay from her mane, which she'd accumulated in the barn.
She nestled up to him and rubbed her cheek lovingly against his chest for a moment. "Karn ... if you weren't with Fluttershy ... would you have taken me?"
"Oh, God, AJ, you're an enigma. Strong, hard-faced, tough, resourceful and take-charge. You're also beautiful and generous to boot. I'm afraid to think of what I would have shared here with you," he whispered, before gently kissing her forehead and running his hands gently through her mane.
She looked up at him with her tired eyes. "Fluttershy is one very lucky, pony. Ah reckon she'll have a lot of fun with that club of yours," she smiled softly.
He still found himself stunned at how uninhibited she was. "AJ, I had no idea that you thought about such things, and certainly not so ... graphically."
"Well ... " she said, stifling a yawn. "It's a part of mah mind ah like ta keep under mah hat, so ta speak."
"You're not wearing your hat presently, AJ. Would that also account for your lack of inhibitions?"
"Har, ah reckon so, Karn."
She cuddled closer, gently sliding her hind leg down to his member, teasing him. 'Oh God, AJ. You're a dear friend, but please don't ever go near a drink again,' he thought to himself. He reached down with his left hand, gently curved it around her leg and lifted her up and away from his waist. "No you don't, AJ."
She chuckled. "Jest checkin' ta make sure you were still all there!"
"Trust me, AJ, it's right where I left it," he said coyly.
He took a deep breath and attempted to think of something - anything - other than what the primeval part of his mind wanted to be sharing with her right now. Multiplication tables, quadratics, recounting the names and functions of the cranial nerves, moldy coffee grounds. Anything except her wonderful thighs.
Running his hand gently along her back in the hopes of helping her sleep, he whispered for her to rest. "Go to sleep, AJ. Precedent being the mean spirited thing it is, I have an odd suspicion that after that much alcohol, you're not going to be quite so cheerful when you wake up. You need all the rest you can manage."
Her eyes closed and her breathing slowed. "Ah love you, sugarcube," she whispered, " ... reckon ah always will."
Once she was finally asleep, he decided to wait just a little longer before rising from the bed. He didn't want any sudden movements or rattling of furniture to wake her up. 'You're going to wake up with one hell of a hangover, AJ,' he laughed to himself.
Giving her a half hour of rest, he was able to extricate himself very gently, substituting a pillow in his place. Being aware of other cases he'd witnessed involving a first experience with inebriation, he located a good size bucket, a bowl of cool water, a pitcher of the same and as many towels as he could get away with. Thus prepared, he found himself unwilling to go and locate a pony sized chair - so he contented himself with sitting on a chest near the foot of the bed.
He folded his arms and smiled playfully at her slumbering form. "You love me? ... Well, let's see what you think of me when you wake up."
Karn held back Applejack's mane as she once again heaved into the bucket that he'd made available for her.
"Gark," she managed, finally spitting out the last of her stomach contents. "Karn, ahm ... so sorry about what happened."
He gently eased her back up onto the bed, helping her rest her head back onto the pillow. He'd had the foresight to make sure the blinds were closed so as not to allow the mid-afternoon sun to blind her. As it was, she was all too aware of the room slowly spinning. She felt as if a large number of angry rodents were all madly playing the drums inside her skull. To compound this cacophony, all of them were drumming to different tunes. Her normal orange hue had turned slightly paler. Karn took a moist cloth and wiped her forehead, her cheeks, her neck and then finally her lips before offering her some water to drink. "Here, AJ, sip some water. Try not to gulp it, just sip away at it."
He sat on the side of her bed, washing her down lightly with a cool moist cloth. "Karn ... thank you fer ... well, fer not lettin' me get carried away with you."
He managed a sly smile. "I'm a lot of things, AJ, but I'm not the kind of person to go around taking advantage of ladies who happen to be 'pissed'."
The mention of that word brought on a chuckle from her, which she had to madly suppress as it made her head feel like it was inflating. Resting again, she looked up at him as he took another fresh, cool washcloth and wiped down her chest, barrel, her legs and her hooves. "Karn," she said softly, "you know that ah meant what ah said ... about lovin' you?" He stopped for a moment, looking around to meet her sickly gaze. "Ah meant that. Ah may be in season 'n all, but ah really do love you. Ahm mighty sorry about how ah broke it ta you ... " she turned away from him, looking at the door to her room to avoid eye contact. "Ah dang it, Karn ... ah jest feel so stupid."
"AJ, you don't need to feel stupid. You just happened to consume quite a lot of something that uninhibited you. I will admit that I'm curious to know why on earth you'd have any kind of feelings for me at all?"
She turned back to him once more. "Because you’re strong, you’re funny, you’re great help here on the farm. Because you’re so kind ta folks, because ah know that you have problems that you’re tryin' to deal with. Ah've seen the way you are around Apple Bloom. You’re so charmin' and sweet to her. Ah love you because of the way you think about others. Ah also happen to find you handsome," she smiled sweetly up at him. "Ah love you because ... ahm lying here, mah head's killin' me, ah all but demanded you mate with me earlier on, an' yet you’re here, lookin' after me so kindly. Ah know your sad and have all that 'baggage' that you’re always talkin' about, but you’re a helluva catch. A well hung catch, at that," she smiled. "Ah really do love you, Karn. Ah love Fluttershy too, and well ... ah really do wish the two of you all the best. Ahm sorry, ah jest ... wish it could've been me."
Karn leaned forward and softly kissed her forehead. "AJ, I'm sorry that things couldn't have been different between us. But we are still great friends, aren't we?"
"Ahm countin' on it, sugarcube ... still wish it didn't hurt so much."
"Your headache?"
".... well, that too."
Under the expert watch of Rainbow Dash and the newly sober Applejack, Karn once more made his way down towards the township. Since all six of the ponies, plus of course Spike and himself were a part of this royal summons, the consensus had been to meet at Twilight's house. Once everyone had gathered what they needed, the quest to travel to this mystical Canterlot which Karn had to this point heard so much about yet seen so little, would be able to commence.
The door to Twilight's home was still essentially a splintered mess. The three of them stood there, staring at what was quite obviously a haphazard and rather expedient repair job. A few planks of wood of various types and age had been hastily nailed over the hole, still failing to render it completely air tight. Karn observed the nails that had been hammered halfway into place, the heads bent into various, almost artistic shapes. It gave the clear impression that whomever had managed this quick repair was neither a carpenter nor especially patient.
They stood there for some time, admiring the handy work which seemed to scream 'desperation' and 'rage' at the same time.
Applejack broke the silence.
"What ... in tarnation ... "
Karn looked down to his left, where Rainbow Dash stood, biting her bottom lip. She noticed him looking at her with that silly smirk that she'd come to know so well with all of the antics they'd been involved in together. "Karn! Don't you say anythin'!" she whispered as loudly as she could manage.
"What, Dashie? I didn't say anything! I was just going to comment on the interesting choice of wooden planks that the ... what I assume some kind of woodpecker chose to use in order to cover this mysterious hole here in Twilight's door."
"Karn!"
"What? I was talking about the repair job! One wonders what could have happened to the door. How could somebody bring themselves to inflict such pain and hurt upon a poor, inanimate object? Truly, there is a great mystery here to be solved! What had the door done to deserve such an horrific end?" Rainbow Dash was now glaring at him. Karn didn't mind in the least. He was having far too much fun at her expense - an exercise that the two of them seemed to share quite often. He feigned a sudden look of horror. "What ... what if the door knew something it shouldn't have? What if it owed somebody something of value? Maybe ... maybe it was a lovers quarrel!" He turned dramatically towards the shutters covering a nearby window. "Where were you on the night of this hideous crime, my dear fellow?"
'Karn, this is just one of the reasons ah love you. You kin make me smile jest like that,' Applejack thought to herself.
He turned back towards Rainbow Dash, now sitting there on her hind legs with her arms folded. "What, Dashie? Would you like to knock, or should I ... "
"Oh no you don't, Karn! You do the knockin' this time! I don't want to see anything else go through that door from the outside!"
Applejack was starting to become confused. "Whadda y'all mean this time? What in land sakes happened to tha ... "
"Oh, I'm sure it was just an accident, AJ," chuckled Karn. "Besides, Dashie. You're assuming that whatever made this hole in the entryway did so from the outside! Maybe Twilight attacked the door from within , in a fit of rage over ... "
"A fit of what?" asked Twilight from the other side of the door, suddenly. Clearly the chatter on her doorstep had gotten her attention, negating the need for any of them to try to knock.
"Nothing, Twilight! We were just ... well, trying to decide who would knock on your door."
Twilight creaked open what was left of the gate and invited all three of them inside. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't Rainbow Dash this time," she mumbled.
Applejack looked up at Karn, the desperation to know what the hell was going on all to apparent on her face. "What in Equestria happened here, Karn?"
"AJ, my dear, I am sworn to secrecy. The door ... well, it just knew too much," he stated matter of factly. "That's odd ... I cannot ever recall having had so much fun at the expense of household repairs before."
"Well, just don't go making a habit of it, Karn," implored Twilight.
"Of being amused about broken doors, or the act of breaking them?"
"Ugh. You know what I mean, Karn."
"Yes, Twilight, I do apologize. Of course, I would be deeply honored if you would allow me to fix your badly injured door upon our return? If you don't mind, that is?"
She smiled at him. "Thank you, Karn. I did ... well, try to fix it a little, but I'm afraid I wasn't in the happiest of moods at the time."
"She very nearly used one of your curse words, Karn!" laughed Spike, earning him a grimace from Twilight.
"Ah. I don't mean to be such a bad influence Twilight," apologized Karn. "I do understand the feeling, though, of being in a situation so irritating that you cannot find a word obscene enough within your vocabulary to confront it with."
"Hey, everypony!" came a chipper voice from what was left of the doorway. Pinkie had arrived as well, party cannon and suitcase of God only knows what in tow. "Hey! What happened to your door, Twilight?"
"Nothing, Pinkie, please come on inside," responded Twilight with practiced exacerbation.
"Heya, Clubby!" Pinkie exclaimed, her cheerful voice bringing a grin to his face. "I bet you must be really looking forward to getting to see Canterlot? It's huge and full of the most amazing sights! I'd like to take you on a tour around it, if you have time?"
"I can't make any promises, Pinkie, but I'd certainly take you up on that offer if the opportunity presents itself."
"Hey! Where's Rarity and Fluttershy?" asked Pinkie.
"I suspect Rarity is carrying a considerable load of baggage with her, but I'm not entirely sure what the story with Fluttershy is," said Twilight. She looked around a little concernedly at Karn. A sweet voice from the front of the dwelling put them both physically at ease.
"Um, hello?" Fluttershy asked quietly, somewhat taken aback at the sight of the splintered door. "I wasn't quite sure what had happened ... I mean, Twilight, your door is ... "
"Battened down, awaiting renovation," replied Karn, his heart afire once more at seeing Fluttershy. She shared a loving glance with Karn for a moment. Neither of them was particularly sure how to handle this situation. "You look particularly lovely this morning, if I may say so, Fluttershy?" he ventured. It was a cliché and he felt completely foolish for having said it. He cringed inwardly, just as soon as the superlative managed to escape his lips. ‘Idiot!’ he inwardly exclaimed, ‘get ahold of yourself.’
"Um, thank you, Karn, you're looking rather handsome," she replied, her cheeks reddening a little.
Karn was possibly the only one who completely understood the strange dynamic within the room. He was in love with Fluttershy, and she with him. Twilight knew about this but was not prepared to mention it to anyone and was thus unaware that Applejack knew as well. Karn was well aware that Applejack loved him and that she had no idea Twilight knew about the feelings between he and Fluttershy. Fluttershy of course knew that she loved Karn, but had no idea at all that Twilight and Applejack were already aware of this.
In the middle of this complete shambles stood Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, both blissfully unaware of any of these personal interactions.
'I was never a huge fan of these kinds of board games, and I didn't succeed very well with organic chemistry ... yet, here I am stuck in some kind of agonizing romantic play,' Karn thought to himself.
There was a brief moment of uncomfortable silence between them all, with Applejack looking away from Karn and Fluttershy, Twilight watching Fluttershy and Karn closely, Karn fixing his eyes on Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash sitting there with one eyebrow raised in confusion, and Pinkie just rotating her head madly around all of them in complete bewilderment. "Um, did I miss something? You all seem to be acting a bit funny!" she quipped.
'Oh God, thank you for shattering the ice, Pinkie,' thought Karn, with relief. "No, Pinkie! It's just ... well, the door."
"The door? But it's broken!"
Karn, attempting to lighten the mood, decided that since he was now trapped in some kind of overwrought romantic drama, he may as well play along. "It is?" he spouted in mock consternation. Crossing rapidly to the door once more, he exclaimed "My God! Who would have DONE such a thing!"
"Dang it, Karn, knock it off!" chuckled Rainbow Dash.
"Knock if off? T'was you then, that did this awful deed?" he said, doing his over-dramatic best.
"Ugh, that's it !!" interrupted Twilight. "Enough about the door! Karn, thank you for your kind offer to repair it, I would be eternally grateful! Just, everypony, please. Enough about the door! It is broken, I did a rather poor repair job and that's the last I want to hear about it!"
"Goodness, darling, what happened to your door?" asked Rarity, having finally arrived with what appeared to be a year's worth of clothing behind her.
It had taken some work for them to traverse across the town to Ponyville train station. This side of the town was one that Karn had not actually seen before, so he found some of the buildings and the layout of the streets to be of interest. He automatically appended the roads, stores, houses and interesting locations to the mental map that he had been composing of the town. He made sure to keep step with Fluttershy, keeping as close to her as he could. He fought against the urge to carry her in his arms on their journey, just to feel her close to him again for a while. The two of them shared loving exchanges and some light hearted conversation on their walk, careful not to arouse the suspicions of the others as to their current relationship status.
It was something of a marvel as to how Rarity managed to carry so many bags. It may have just been the three suitcases, but their size hinted at both a quantity and quality of fashionable gear that Karn once more found himself confused by. Being Alsovian, being practical and being used to having to hand only what was necessary, he was carrying everything he needed in the one bag he could find to place his uniforms in - an old hessian sack that he had found in the barn. Much like himself, it was tough, expedient and suited to the task at hand.
Pinkie was naturally her usual bouncy self, and Karn could not help but feel his spirits uplifted. It was a source of curiosity once more that she could have this effect on everyone around her, simply by being there. As logical and rational as he was, he thought of possible reasons behind this effect - and his theories ranged from some form of mass hysteria that caused joy rather than panic, through to something to do with this 'magic' that they often demonstrated. The last seemed unlikely, as she was not a unicorn - she was, like Applejack, an 'earth pony'. The taxonomy itself was entertaining. Not only were they altogether a different species to him, but they were intermingled themselves - unicorns with pegasi, earth ponies and unicorns, the somewhat rare alicorns - Twilight and Princess Celestia being the only two he had met.
This mix of species and very nearly the mixes of genus and family amongst the population was refreshing. So many different creatures, all seemingly living together in harmony. They would have been involved in a bloody civil war by now, in the places he had known before arriving. Twilight noticed the inquisitive look upon his face, as they continued on towards the train station.
"You seem curious about the town today, Karn?"
"Indeed. I had been thinking about the diversity here. So many different creatures, different species ... everything and everyone seems to fit neatly into a place. I mean, consider your cutie marks! You find your talent and earn them and you have your place set for you. This is all very different to where I am from, and thus worth of study."
"Once we return from Canterlot, I think we should really sit down and talk about things like that. Not just your issues, I mean, but about science and such in general! You're always very observant and I'd be really interested to share time with you on subjects like that. Taxonomy, physiology and even astronomy."
"I'd love that very much! May I fix your door first, before we go on to discussions of any other subjects?"
She smirked at him. "Yes please, Karn. I would appreciate having a functioning entryway once more."
"Then it's a deal, princess. Carpentry before collaboration, as it were?"
He glanced around once more to the love of his life, as she walked quietly next to him. He found himself enjoying the simple act of observing her walking - that wonderful tail, her lovely flanks, those endearing cutie marks she bore. He again fought the urge to lift her into his arms. He did feel concerned about her being so quiet.
"Fluttershy, are you doing okay?" he inquired.
"I'm fine, Karn. I guess ... I'm just worried about something."
Now the general sense of worry he carried began to grow thorns. "What's wrong, my lo- ... Fluttershy? Is anything upsetting you?"
"Does it bother you that I don't know as much about ... science and all those other subjects that you and Twilight enjoy?" she quizzed, looking sadly up at him.
"Oh God, no, Fluttershy! Of course that doesn't bother me! I ... well, you know."
She looked away from him with a slight smile on her adorable face. He was enjoying himself again.
"Fluttershy? Is this one of those moments when I ... you know? Need to prove something to you once more?" She chuckled to herself, in that sweet way that made his heart melt and killed the thorns that his earlier worries had metaphorically punctured him with. "I did warn you, Fluttershy. I'm sorry, but I am going to have to prove something to you and I'm going to have to put in extra effort this time!" This was enough to finally make her look up at him, bearing that same lovely smile..
"Oh Karn ... I'm looking forward very much to you ... well, convincing me again. I would love that very ... very much."
"You're a glutton for punishment, Fluttershy. I'm going to prove a certain fact to you in as many ways as I can ... just you wait."
Applejack growled under her breath and looked away. "Ugh. Knock it off, yew two."
"Knock what off?" quizzed Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, it's nothin'. It's just ... ah, well, the way they were talkin' is all."
"... but they were just cutting up? ... Weren't they?" asked Rainbow Dash again, quizzically raising one eyebrow.
"Ah reckon so. Ah guess ah just ain't in the mood fer that kind ah silliness right now."
Karn looked sadly across to Applejack. "AJ ... you know I'm sorry. Are you angry at me?"
"No, Karn, you understand ... ahm jest, well, it still smarts a bit because … " she started, before trailing off.
Everyone else seemed puzzled - Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and even Fluttershy. Something had happened here, and it was deeply curious. Pinkie found herself wondering if she needed her detective get up once more, but was distracted when the train station loomed into view. "There it is!! Wohoo, I love traveling by train and I love it even MORE when we're headed to Canterlot! Oh, Clubby, you're going to LOVE IT!" she squealed, leaping onto him and throwing her forelegs around his neck once more.
"I've heard nothing but great stories about Canterlot, Pinkie!” Karn managed to gasp through Pinkie’s vice-like grip around his neck. “I can honestly say I am looking forward to being there! ... We may get onto the platform sooner though, if you release your hooves from my neck, though?" he implored.
"Oops! Sorry, Clubby! Does it bother you that I hug you like that? You're just so ... HUGGABLE!" she squealed again with excitement.
"I think you're wonderfully huggable, too," whispered Fluttershy sweetly.
"Fluttershy, would you mind at all if I sat next to you on the train? If you don't mind my company, that is?"
"Oh, Karn ... you know I'd like that very much. In fact, I may have to insist on it!" she chuckled. Karn found himself looking forward more to being close to her than to actually arriving at their destination.
They made their way to the platform, where the tickets to Canterlot were purchased from a pony who was somewhat bemused by the ticket requests for all six of the ponies, plus spike and that 'large, human fellow' who had so recently celebrated a birthday. The re-introductions being made once more, the tickets were duly paid for and they waited for a moment on the station platform. From the vantage point of the station, Karn had quite a nice view over the north western side of the township. There didn't seem to be a great many other passengers there that day. Indeed, the platform itself didn't necessarily appear to be designed to hold a large crowd. In his mind, he had almost envisaged the depot as being akin to a transfer depot for soldiers in his own universe.
"Twilight, is it often this quiet here?” asked Karn, the perfexion apparent on his face. “I would have thought a transport station to be a good deal busier than this."
"Not for this time of year. There are no large events being held presently, so aside from the few of us heading to Canterlot, it should be quiet. There'll be a lot of other ponies on the Friendship Express when it arrives."
"The ... Friendship Express?" quizzed Karn. "A very endearing name for a locomotive!"
A distant chuffing noise alerted them of the approach of the train to Canterlot.
Naturally enough, Pinkie became rather excited. "Woo woooooo, here it comes! I love travelling by train, I think you're going to love it too, have you travelled by train much before? Do they have many trains were you're from? I mean I thought they would since where you lived sounds so large and I can't think of ... "
Karn chuckled. "I'm sure I'll enjoy the train ride. I have indeed travelled by train before, there are a good many trains and transports where I am from, and from the feeling of gravity here and the rough triangulation I've been able to perform, I would indeed suspect my home world is very nearly the same size as yours."
"Hah! Thought so!" she exclaimed, bouncing excitedly as the Friendship Express slowly approached the station.
Karn went back to observing the locomotive itself. The train and the carriages were all - much like the rest of the town - highly colorful, adding a degree of cheeriness that he found pleasing. The trains he was used to were usually spray coated grey or olive green and built entirely for practical purposes. They were large engines, designed to haul armor and troops over long distances. There was nothing colorful or pleasant about them - except that being on one meant that you didn't have to march so much. 'Taking a shit off the side of one while it's moving, because you're stuck on one of the trays with a tank on it was always fun, too,' he recollected.
The express slowly puffed its way to halt, with the carriages all neatly aligned to the platform. Once the signal was clear, the doors to the carriages opened. Some ponies disembarked with their baggage at Ponyville, looking at the strange gathering of folks who were waiting to board. The path path being clear, they began to climb on. Much of the particular carriage they were in was empty, so they were able to take seats on either side of the aisle next to each other. After stowing the luggage, Karn took a seat nearest to the window and Fluttershy slid across the seat to be as close to him as she could. They shared a brief loving glance.
Twilight took the seat directly opposite them, with Spike and Rainbow Dash making up their side of the aisle. Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie sat on the opposite side of the aisle. With everyone from Ponyville Station now aboard, there was a whistle from the conductor and the train began to move out of the station. The old fashioned signaling was yet another of those small cultural wonders that caught Karn off guard. Where he'd been, everything ran off electronic track switching and automated lights. You essentially got on or disembarked when the machine told you to. The Friendship Express slowly picked up speed as they began their journey - roughly north-northeast.
Looking out the window and watching the town passing by, Karn suddenly laughed to himself.
"Are you okay, Karn?" asked Twilight.
"Huh, yes, Twilight," he said happily, watching the greenery pass by the window. "I was just thinking about some of the other train journeys I've had over the cycles ... well, 'years', sorry."
She smiled. "It's okay, I think I'm becoming ambidextrous too, as far as chronographic terminology goes."
"I was just about to say 'chronographic terminology'!" he smiled at her. Returning his sight back to the countryside, he paused for another moment. "They used to move us through pre-captured areas in large numbers by trains where we had air superiority."
"Sounds like my kind of job!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"Well, Dashie, you certainly have the speed for the job. They would lay tracks out to carry large quantities of material. You know, just logistics. They'd ship troops that way as well, cramming us into whatever space was available. So the lucky ones would get a truck, and the rest of us would be outside on the flatbeds."
"Were they carriages like these?" asked Fluttershy.
"Oh God, no. They were just large box cars. No windows, just vents in the roof to help you breathe. They'd leave the doors unlocked and opened for a quick exit, and then they'd cram as many men into them as possible. The rest of us would end up climbing up onto the flatbeds next to the artillery or the tanks. Coron and I used to prefer that, standing outside I mean. The air rushing past. It was easier to ... well, use the restroom too. I can still remember Coron climbing onto the top of this main battle tank, then climbing out across the top of the main gun to the bore evacuator. So he'd be straddling this thing and screaming 'CHAAAAARGE!' and such!"
Fluttershy loved it at times like this, when Karn was so relaxed and happy. "It sounds like the two of you had a lot of fun together!"
"He was a riot at times. He came to within an ace of getting his backside kicked so often. We were back in Alsovia running training exercises once. We were supposed to maintain radio silence during this particular show ... "
"Radio?" asked Twilight.
"... oh, right, you don't use radio here. I'll have to go into those details with you when we get back, too. We can fit it into our schedule, alongside chronographic terminology if you like? At any rate it's a means of communication with no physical connection between where you're speaking from, and whomever is listening. So, we're not supposed to be using it for anything other than emergencies in this exercise. There's nothing happening at all this night. Coron, myself and the rest of our rifle section are sitting in this pit, bored out of our minds. Finally, Coron grabs the handset for the radio and says 'I fucking hate this exercise!' so everyone can hear this. There's this brief moment of radio silence, and then a very angry, very commanding voice crackles over the receiver and asks 'unidentified callsign. PLEASE IDENTIFY'. So we all look back at Coron who is just smirking to himself. He grabs the radio again and responds with 'I don't hate it THAT much'. God, we nearly wet ourselves. He was a funny man."
"Whilst the story is amusing, my dear, I am assuming he must have gotten himself into a good deal of trouble, and on many occasions?" asked Rarity, with a broad grin.
"Oh, my lady. Let's just say that he didn't spend two hundred and fifty cycles as a common private because of his looks."
"It's also interesting that many of your military ranks seem to match ours. At least within the Royal Guard units," noted Twilight, her quill once more being driven in its endless recording of such details. Momentarily he wondered how many of those things she actually went through.
"Twilight ... have you ever thought about using a fountain pen or such instead of a quill? It would last a lot longer. I'm sure you must break those things by the box full!"
She looked up at him, intrigued. "Fountain pen?"
"Oh boy, now you've done it, Karn," chuckled Spike. "If that's a writing instrument, she's going to be using a quill to write about a different kind of quill."
"Har, the point is a good one, Spike! She could be caught in some manner of horrific intellectual recursion! Just wait until I mention quill-less note taking using notebooks that are not made out of paper!"
"Notebooks without pape- ... " started Twilight, before breaking from her academic groove upon realizing what her subject and her assistant were doing. "Ugh! I'm just trying to study and understand you, Karn!"
"I know, Twilight, I'm sorry. I meant no offence. That being said, I can honestly recommend that we discuss a fountain pen for you. I imagine you would have the technology to produce one, and as the nib is made of metal instead of keratin from a feather, they last a very long time."
"That sounds terrific! I shall have to add that to the list of subjects to discuss with you, for when we get back!" she smiled.
"To change the subject, Twilight, this trip will take overnight I gather, bringing us into Canterlot at about this time tomorrow?" asked Karn.
"Yeah, it'd be a lot faster if we just flew!" remarked Rainbow Dash.
"There are some of us, Dashie, that do not have wings," grumbled Rarity. He found it impressive that she was capable of sounding angry, yet graceful simultaneously. Was this something she'd had to learn?
"Pffff. well, at the very least I could've just gone on ahead of you all and met you there!" continued Rainbow Dash.
"But then we would be lacking your company, Dashie," interrupted Karn. "We can't travel by train without that awesomeness of yours."
His attempt at a compliment ran off her like water off Teflon. She laid back in her seat, her forelegs crossed. For the moment at least, it was obvious she wouldn't be very good company - awesome or not.
"Besides," broke in Twilight, "this is a great way for Karn to able to see more of the countryside, rather than just being stuck in Ponyville."
This was certainly true - he'd longed to explore a little and see more of the land to which he'd been brought so surreptitiously. All things here appeared green, fertile, peaceful. His previous train trips had passed by ruins, shell holes, expedient cemeteries and endless processions of men and equipment.
Feeling relaxed and enjoying the expedition thus far, he turned to face Fluttershy.
"Thank you for sharing a seat with me, Fluttershy," he said quietly. It felt so awkward to be trying so hard to keep his feelings for her so hidden from the others. It was apparent from the look in her eyes that she felt the same frustration.
"I love sitting next to you too, Karn."
Without warning, she carefully slid his left arm over her head and nuzzled herself closer to him. By now, even Karn wasn't willing to fight it anymore. Even though his sense of logic and worry about Fluttershy's welfare strongly urged him not to, feeling her snuggled close to him brought the balancing act of his reason closer to impulse than to caution. Unable to stand it anymore, he gently lifted Fluttershy's chin with his right hand and delicately brought her eyes to his. "I cannot fight this battle anymore," he said, surrendering to the surprised look of the pegasus.
Learning forward - throwing what remained of his sensibility to the four winds - he kissed her, affectionately and more than a little intensely.
They were both so completely absorbed with each other by virtue of their passion, that neither of them had realized that every other pony - and spike - had frozen stiff, mouths gaping, and were now staring in shock at the two lovers who were so very earnestly enjoying each other's touch. Neither of them really knew how long they had been kissing for, but each was short of breath when their lips parted.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I couldn't resist any longer."
"Karn, I don't mind at all. I understand."
The relative silence in their carriage, along with the knowledge of what they had just shared in full view of the others, compelled them to look gradually around to their friends.
Karn, clearing his throat, decided to try and explain first. "Well, I guess this means there is some news that we need to fill some of you in on."
Rainbow Dash stopped gaping for a moment. "I'll say! Did you two just ... just ... I mean, you were both ... "
"It's called kissing, Dashie."
"Ugh, I know that, Karn! But you and Fluttershy? You mean ... you're together?"
"We certainly are, Dashie," Karn announced with sincerity.
"But ... my dears, how long has this liaison between the two of you been so ... well, unofficial, for Celestia's sake?" exclaimed Rarity, presently unsure whether to be offended at their brashness, or overjoyed for the two of them.
"That's difficult to explain, my lady. I fell in love with Fluttershy quite a while ago. It took me a long time to finally admit it to any of you, really, until I had to explain my feelings during one of my visits with Twilight. But I had absolutely no idea that Fluttershy felt the same way about me. Until the other night."
"The other ... you mean ... at the party ?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"So that's why you left when you did, my dear? To go and find Fluttershy?" interrupted Rarity.
"Well, yes on both counts. Dashie, I most certainly do mean the other night at the rebirth of a birthday party party, " he said, giving Pinkie a smile and a nod of acknowledgement, "and yes my lady, that was exactly why I left when I did, to go looking for Fluttershy. When I found her ... " he began before pausing as Fluttershy looked up nervously at him. "Well, let's just say that the penny dropped and we discovered that in fact we loved each other. Very, very much."
"... 'Penny'?" asked Twilight, quietly.
"Oh. Sorry, yes. It's a unit of currency where I come from, a 'bit' I guess you could say. The expression 'penny dropped' means to, well, suddenly realize the answer to a complex puzzle if you will."
"Ah. I see," intoned Twilight flatly. The cogs of her mind commenced their churning, her cerebral gears crunched and assorted machinery between them whirred. It often worried Karn when he could see these allegorical gears of her mind through her unblinking eyes. He was certain he had now supplied her with enough material for a second thesis, along with a lifetime supply of questions to be delivered verbally and pointedly towards himself.
"So ... you mean ... that all happened at the rebirth of a birthday party party? That really brought the two of you together?" shrieked Pinkie Pie.
"Well ... I guess in many ways, Pinkie, yes it did!"
"Wow weeeee!!! That's so wonderful, two of my favouritest friends falling in love on a really special day like that, after such a fantabulistic party!!" Pinkie leaped over the aisle and threw her hooves around Karn and Fluttershy together, squeezing the air out of both of them. "Oooooooh , I'm just so HAPPY for you two!!!! This is so wonderful, you two make such a lovely couple!"
Karn uttered a rough, gurgling noise.
"What?? OH! AIR! Sorry!!" She released her love-grip on the two of them, and once more Karn could feel the sweet, pleasurable experience of fresh air inflating his lungs.
"Thank you, Pinkie, I'm so glad that you're happy for us."
She bounced her way up and down the aisle, delighted that not only had her plans been so successful, but that in staging the party she had inadvertently brought Fluttershy and Karn together.
The silence from the others present continued, as each of them tried to comes to terms with what was either a shock - for those who had no idea - or a source of embarrassment for the two who had in fact already known.
Rarity was the next to offer her opinion. "Well, darling, whilst I will say that I found the manner of your ... ahem, attention to be uncouth, I will say that I think you do make an adorable, if very odd couple," she finally acquiesced. Her smile signaled that she too had accepted them.
Rainbow Dash was still wide eyed in shock, and thus what she really thought of this surprising situation was difficult to read. "That ... is ... AWESOME!" she smiled, finally. "You mean you two actually told each other that you ... well? And ... it was there, on the night of that party? That's ... just so awesome!"
Applejack, sober this time, was trying to keep herself as calm as possible. She was used to being strong and keeping her emotions well and truly in check. The hurt she felt over her unrequited love for Karn and what she felt was a lost opportunity made it very difficult for her to keep her emotions so tightly under wraps. "Well ... ahm real proud of the two of you. Ah reckon you make a mighty fine couple," she approved. Karn looked over at her sadly, knowing full well how difficult this was for her and feeling guilty and concerned. He caught Applejack's eyes and she could see immediately the implicit question upon his face. Just barely managing to stop her tears, she smiled back at him and nodded, mouthing the words 'ahm okay'.
Spike, of course, thought the entire episode was hilarious. He'd immediately approved of Karn and Fluttershy being a couple, but it was the reactions of the other ponies that had him in stitches. "Har! You should've seen the look on your face, Twilight! I thought you were going to explode, or break your quill! And Rainbow Dash? If your jaw had fallen any further, a bear or something would've moved into your mouth to hibernate!!"
"Hey, that ain't funny!"
"Well, maybe not to you!"
Fluttershy and Karn snuggled together closer than ever on the seat, waiting to find out what Twilight's all important verdict would be. Karn realized that whilst her approval of their situation was not critical, without it he knew Fluttershy would feel hopelessly caught between her friend and himself. A situation he'd wanted to avoid at all possible costs.
"Karn, you promised me that day you told me of your feelings for Fluttershy that you would never hurt her. Is that a promise you think you can keep? Forever?"
"Without question, Twilight."
She slowly smiled and sat back into her chair. "I'm going to have to ask for that to be a Pinkie promise, Karn!"
The remainder of the day passed pleasantly enough. Karn and Fluttershy contented themselves with snuggling on the bench of the cabin, since their kissing had made a few of the others uncomfortable. Karn was feeling at peace and somewhat relaxed for the first time in quite a while. The scenery out the window was indeed lovely, and he noted the gentle elevation to which they were rising as the train continued its somewhat northward trek.
Late into the evening, as the Friendship Express continued on towards the mystical Canterlot, the ponies and Spike had found various places to lie down to get some sleep. This hadn't proved overly difficult, since most of their carriage was empty. The others had thoughtfully left Karn and Fluttershy alone in that one cabin, to spend some time together. It was heaven to spend some time alone together at last, and not feel the need to hide.
Once Fluttershy had finally started to yawn exhaustedly, whilst Karn remained seated where he was and lifted his feet up and onto the far seat. Fluttershy had lain down along the bench, resting her head on his lap. He'd covered her as neatly with a blanket as he could. The only other sound they could hear was that of the engine, snoring from various other parts of the carriage and of course the almost hypnotic clacking of the wheels over the rails.
Karn gently stroked Fluttershy's mane, pausing occasionally to lovingly brush her exposed cheek with the bank of his hand - each time he did so, she would smile and snuggle further into his lap. God, she was magnificent.
"Fluttershy?" he whispered quietly, so as not to disturb the others.
"Mmmm?" she moaned tiredly.
"Sweet dreams."
"Mmmmm," she groaned, in a positive-sounding way. Karn just smiled to himself.
Continuing to stroke her mane, he sat there observing her delicate little smile in the moonlight. Sleep would come eventually, he realized - but he was too engrossed in observing her features for rest to come as yet. 'I've waited centuries to find you, Fluttershy ... I'm not losing another Goddamn second.'
The morning had proven to be busier than Karn would have expected on such a short journey. There was a good deal of fussing over manes, appearances, cleanliness, whatever attire - if any - they had chosen to wear. Rarity was not only focused on her own presentation, but her near maternal instincts towards the others led her to want to make sure everyone else was, in her words, 'able to be seen in public'. She had insisted Karn change into his suit and so some privacy was allotted to him to change. He'd taken the opportunity once more to take a quick bird bath and to shave. After some further adjustments to his dress from the ever resourceful Rarity, she felt satisfied that he would indeed be able to be seen in public, without causing any mass hysteria.
The friendship express ended its day-long run, slowly chuffing to a halt - once more, perfectly in line with the edge of the station platform. In the fuss and excitement aboard the train, he'd not had a chance to observe any of Canterlot as yet, aside from a few glimpses through the window whilst busily involved in not 'looking like some crazed forest beast' as Rarity had lamented earlier. She had implored him to still further efforts to improve his dress sense.
The platform alone hinted at a city of some importance. It's construction was larger than the platform at Ponyville, suggesting the ability to accept longer trains and larger loads. The buildings that formed the train station were of a larger and more ornate design than those where they had boarded. He found himself quite astonished at the city and it's construction, being as it was perched in a manner that felt rather precarious, directly on the side of a mountain. A waterfall on one face of the mountain crashed to a lake outside the city walls, which added to the charm of the place. The city walls, or more accurately the city boundary, did not appear to have been built with a siege in mind, which suggested that peace was either something the citizenry were accustomed to, or hinted at defenses powerful and unseen.
Unlike the surprise that many of the inhabitants of Ponyville had expressed upon seeing him, those living in Canterlot did not appear to be shocked by a human's presence. This suggested the city was a good deal more cosmopolitan.
"Well, my dear? What are your first impressions of Canterlot?" asked Rarity.
He scanned the scene from one side of the station to the other, taking in briefly as much as possible of the city as he could. "My lady, it is certainly beautiful. Nothing whatsoever like I had imagined," he replied. In truth, being a capital and housing the ruling monarchy, he'd expected solid walls, visible defenses and endless lines of soldiers. The fact that this city had none of those things was a pleasant surprise. The architects had even managed to keep as much natural flora within the city as possible - and so trees, rose bushes, water features and well kept grasslands abounded.
They were met on the station platform by what appeared to be a line of armored ponies of the kind he had last seen whilst convalescing in Ponyville hospital. This was something Karn had expected. It was both prudent and logical for there to be a good deal of security surrounding such a summons. Their armor was golden and they were equipped with spears. It took very little study on his part to know that the points would have been sharpened to an edge so keen as to be surgically sharp. The front of their armor bore no crest, rather just a large blue star. Their footwear appeared to be gold, or at least an alloy that gave the impression of their being gold. Their expressions were flat and emotionless, as he would have expected for an escort whilst on duty. He could make out no indication of rank, though, which he found odd.
"Princess Twilight?" asked a large armored stallion at the head of the escort. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna asked us to escort all of you to your chambers at the palace," he invited.
"Thank you, sergeant, we would be delighted!" answered Twilight. Okay, so clearly the lead escort was a sergeant, like himself. The guards formed two columns, one on either side of their charges. Thus protected, the walk through the city towards the palace commenced. They made the journey quietly, each pony and the sole dragon and human of the group taking the chance to look around and admire the capital of Equestria.
The concept of a capital of such astonishing beauty was very much at odds with Karn's Alsovian upbringing. His home country was quite large, but it was comprised of numerous smaller communities centered around clans. There had been a great deal of intermarriage of course (the better to stave off genetic problems), but clan members tended to stay closeby each other. Alsovian culture also held great store in austerity - valuing practical use, function and quality of craftsmanship above anything else. These facets of his own culture made the incredibly colorful, gilded and ornate architecture of this city all the more astounding. His own country of course was a meritocracy, run by a collection of high ranking clan members who formed the single High Council as the governing body. The concept of political parties, such as he'd learnt of in other nations, or systems with elected leaderships were therefore very strange to him.
He was unused to the concept of royalty at all, there having been no such institutions in his home country. There were however other nations and empires that were ruled by hereditary monarchs of one form or another, even so the opulence surrounded by the quite obvious security was a curious concept for him. It was a sight he found himself enjoying, on some odd sociological level.
Their progress through the city was also a refreshing chance to stretch after having been on a train overnight. The air was fresh and crisp, the sun was warm and the sky cloudless. Curious strangers gave greetings in the street, being sure to keep a safe distance from the Royal Guard. Karn noted that the citizens who parted to allow them through did not view the Guard with any degree of terror or awe. It was obvious that such an escort demanded right of way through the city, but clearly authority within this community was not held or commanded at the end of a spear. These were a people were at ease with their leaders - something that made himself feel likewise. Having met Princess Celestia before, he could understand that already, but to see it so obvious amongst her subjects here was very reassuring.
Upon finally reaching the palace, there was a minor ceremony as the members of the Guard stationed at the gateway allowed them entry. The palace was even more opulent than the rest of the city had appeared to be, something Karn had not thought was possible - and yet here it was.
He observed the lines of guards escorting them on either side, noting details in their armor - burnished and polished to the point of being somewhat hard to look upon in the sunlight. Now indoors, the glare from the sun wasn't an issue and he could make out the ornate patterns laid into the armor itself. It was quite clearly the work of very skilled artisans. They marched in perfect unison, obviously well drilled.
He listened to the steady stamping of their steel encased hooves on the ground. He thought of the many marches he'd made over the centuries, the drills from the days so long ago when he was a cadet. Christ, was he ever really a cadet? Slowly, the clanking of the steel began to give way to a softer, duller sound.
This was not the sound of metal upon marble, but that of leather on soft earth.
The clanking of burnished armor gave way to that of various items of field dress - canteens, ammunition pouches. Pouches attached to webbing softly knocked together, the unmistakable slithering of mud on the bottom of combat boots echoed within his mind.
The sound was muffled, but in the present silence he could still make out the rubbing of the material. These soldiers were members of his platoon and they were on escort. The reason for the escort had not been a pleasant one. They had reached the preset location for this particular task. As the men marched in time, Karn shouted the warning "PLATOON .... HALT!" The troops halted on the second step in unison. "LEFT ... FACE!"
Two strong MPs brought out a worn looking adept, still in his field dress. He was disheveled and dirty, his eyes unfocused. He was dragged in front of the rest of the platoon and made to stand roughly, between the two very alert policemen. Karn had been informed that a member of the platoon had refused to carry out the order of an officer, and then discarded his weapon in defiance. He was also aware that this was a capital offense - and as the sergeant and make-do provost for this unit, it was his unfortunate duty to carry out this sentence. As an adept, there was no firing squad for this duty. The execution would be carried out by decapitation - and today the task of accomplishing this beheading was to be Karn's.
It would not be his first. Over so many solar cycles, he had seen so many adepts simply lose the will to continue to live. One could see this feeling of lethargy and apathy overtake them. The illness manifested in small ways at first, until the man would refuse food and water, before finally resigning themselves to death at anyone’s hand. Sometimes, they threw themselves at the enemy. In this instance, they had not.
He turned to view the condemned man, who stood unsteadily before him. It was at this moment that Karn felt his heart die inside him. This was a man he knew well - a man he'd known for many cycles. The two of the were in fact close friends. Karn tried to rein in the shaking he could feel in his hands. He walked slowly towards the man he had been sent to execute, until the two friends stood just a few feet apart.
"Oh Christ, Tolarn ... Why fucking now?" he whispered, frowning painfully at his erstwhile friend. They had served together for fifty cycles - now Karn was to end that service with his own hands?
"Karn ... it's okay. I just can't take it anymore," his friend whispered back. "Honestly, I'm just glad it's you serving out the sentence ... I know how fast you are with your blades. Please ... I'm begging you, Karn, just end this."
"Tolarn ... we're friends," whispered Karn. "Why? Why the fuck would you want to leave us, and in this fucking stupid way?"
"Karn ... I just want to die. Quickly, and cleanly. I don't want to hear the screams or the death rattles anymore. I don't want to see chunks of men spread over the ground, or headless corpses, or maggot filled bodies anymore ... just please end my hell."
Karn stood in front of his poor, demented and utterly broken friend. What the fuck was the purpose of all of this anyway?
After a few seconds silently looking at each other, Karn offered the traditional final words of an Alsovian - the home Country that they shared.
"Embrace death," he whispered.
In the next instant, blades of pure energy exploded from this hands and with the one violent, incredibly powerful slicing action, Tolarn's head flew from his shoulders as his muddied and scarred body collapsed like a broken marionette to the ground.
Karn stood there momentarily viewing the fallen body before him. Releasing his blades of energy, he crossed over to where the head of his friend now lay - face down in the mud, some feet away from the place of execution. His hands trembling, he gently reached over and picked up his former friend's head, lifting its face from the mud and turning it towards his own. Even in death, the horrors that this man had seen seemed to remain fixed in those lifeless eyes. Like photographs, the images of the hell he had experienced were still imprinted there. Why? Why now? What the fuck did you ever do to deserve this?
He slowly pressed his face to that of his now unseeing friend, resting the dead man's forehead against his own. “This wasn't a fucking execution,” he muttered. “This was a fucking suicide.” Pulling the dead man's head back to glare at its eyes, he began to pour out his rage. "You fucking arsehole! Why did you force me to do this to you? I loved you like a Goddamn brother and you forced me to ... to MURDER YOU? You were as a brother to me and you forced me to end your misery like THIS?!?" Tossing the dead man's head to one side, he vomited and collapsed.
"Karn!! KARN?? PLEASE! IT'S OKAY!!!"
Suddenly he found himself lying on a marble floor - though he could not recall why, or where he was. He could smell the stench of bile from his own vomit, which was spread across the glistening marble before him. Where the fuck was he?
"Tolarn, you son of a bitch!" he moaned.
"KARN! Can you hear me? It's okay! We're right here !" a voice seemed to call distantly. Who's voice? Who cared?
"You God damned son of a bitch! WHY?" he tried to scream, the burning pain of his stomach acid still present within his throat.
There was a faint clattering of steel, and his blurred vision could make out several spears aimed in his direction. "The fuck ... the fuck are you waiting for?" he growled. Still only half aware of where he was, or what was happening, he attempted to struggle to his feet. He was cold, diaphoretic, and every muscle in his body seemed to be shaking uncontrollably. Unable to stand, he propped himself weakly onto one hand. "THAT WAS NO EXECUTION, TOLARN! IT WAS FUCKING MURDER! " he screamed.
There were audible gasps from around him, but from whom or what he wasn't sure.
"Karn? It's okay, please try to think? It's me. It's Fluttershy!" The voice was soft and carried compassion. He began to slowly recollect where he was. His vision was merciful enough to allow him to focus on the owner of that sweet voice who now knelt in front of him. As he began to notice her features, he became aware once more of where he was.
"Flut- ... Fluttershy?" he whispered softly, yet even so unable to hide the anguish in his voice.
"Karn, I'm here! Please try to remember? I love you!"
"Fluttershy ... I murdered him! I killed my friend! ... How could you possibly love me or forgive me for the things I've done?" he grimaced.
"Karn, you don't have to do those horrible things anymore! You're sorry for the things you did and for that I will always forgive you!"
"Oh Christ, Fluttershy," he moaned. Standing, she gently cradled his head against her chest and kissed his furrowed brow.
"I am not giving up on you, Karn. I forgive you, and I will always, always love you."
Karn had severe difficulty getting back onto his feet. Given that he was nauseated and had trouble moving, a makeshift stretcher was made for him using a large blanket. With some help rolling him, they were able to raise him and carry him to the visitors quarters where he was to be staying whilst in Canterlot.
"Princess, should we send for the royal doctor?" asked one of the guards.
"No, he's going to be okay. He's just had one of his unpleasant 'turns', or 'flashbacks' as he calls them. I'm sure after some bed rest he will be fine."
"You are sure he is not dangerous? That was a very shocking display from him out there," observed the guard.
"It's happened to him a few times, sergeant, and nopony has been hurt. I'm going to keep a close eye on him here and make sure he's okay. He will be fine in the morning once he has had time to rest."
The guard didn't seem entirely convinced. "Princess, I would recommend allowing us to keep some guards outside this visitor's chamber, just in case."
"That sounds prudent, sergeant, but I'm sure they won't be needed. Thank you. You're dismissed."
He gave a sharp salute, threw Karn a harsh glare and then marched out the door.
Karn lay in the bed, the covers drawn up. He wore an angry expression on his face and glared at the ceiling. His thoughts raced and memories of that horrific execution circled within his mind. It wasn't the only execution he had carried out. It wasn't the bloodiest thing he'd committed during his long service, either. 'Surely now Fluttershy has to know what kind of an animal I am' he thought angrily.
Twilight sat next to him, that damnable quill and her notebook at the ready. Spike sat next to her, somewhat speechless. Fluttershy stood next to Karn on the opposite side of his bed. He felt like a criminal - in fact he considered himself to be such. He avoided eye contact with any of his well wishing caretakers, glaring instead at the marbled, glittering ceiling.
"Karn? Do you mind if we talk for a bit?" Twilight asked gently. Given that he was presently quite angry and upset, she wasn't sure how he would react, so she'd been ready for anything - to use magic to shield them if necessary.
He glared at the formidable structure that formed the roof of the chamber. How could anyone afford to spend such money on something so utterly frivolous? Yes, it was beautiful, but it served no purpose beyond shelter. One may as well make a latrine out of gold.
"No, Twilight. I do not mind if we talk for a bit," he growled. This now felt like a court martial. At any moment he was going to have to admit to things he'd done - and there was no way these ponies could ever possibly accept him after the fact.
"Of course ... you had another flashback."
"No kidding," he snapped.
"Karn, you know I need to ask you what triggered this one? Thus far you've had them whilst walking along a dirt road, whilst studying the place you arrived, while looking at a sunset and today ... what?"
He stared at the ceiling. The waste and opulence of it added a strange hatred to the anger and self disgust he was currently dealing with. "It was the guards, Twilight," he stated angrily. He rolled his head to his left to face her. "The marching. They were marching in time, the sight and sound of soldiers marching like that just ... brought it straight on," he mumbled. He glared at her for a moment before slowly returning his attention to the ceiling.
"You kept screaming about someone called Tolarn."
He felt a sensation akin to a knife being driven into him. He physically spasmed under the bed cover, clenching his fists so hard that the nails began to bite into the flesh of his palms. 'She had to fucking bring his name up, didn't she' he thought furiously.
"Yes. I had a flashback, Twilight, and it involved someone called Tolarn."
"Karn ... what happened? After you collapsed you screamed out that you'd ... well ... "
In one blindingly swift movement, he wrenched his head violently to the left, his eyes afire with rage. "I MURDERED HIM, TWILIGHT !" he raged.
Twilight suddenly jerked backwards and even Spike was stunned. "I don't understand, Karn. What happened? What lead to you thinking these things?"
His furious stare fixed on her, he lay there with his fists clenched for a moment before continuing in a voice that was quiet, his anger but thinly veiled. "Tolarn was from my home Country, so he was an Alsovian just like me. He'd joined our platoon some fifty or so cycles before ... well, he cracked. He was given an order to advance with his section and refused to obey it. He was ordered once again to advance, which he also refused to do. Finally, he threw away his rifle and just lay there."
"So, he disobeyed an order?"
"No , Twilight, he passed the port the wrong direction at the table, YES he refused to obey an order!" His angry sarcasm was so at odds with the person she had come to know. This particular flashback had obviously been an especially painful one. His words hurt her, but she had to put it down to his condition and not take it personally.
"So he disobeyed an order. That's serious but what happened to him for doing that?"
He lay there, staring at her and saying nothing. She began to feel very uncomfortable.
"Twilight, refusing an order is very serious. Throwing away and abandoning your arms is even more serious. The only punishment a field court martial would give in such an instance would be death. Do you understand? As an adept from Alsovia he was granted a somewhat more honorable method of execution. Instead of a firing squad, Twilight, he was sentenced to decapitation."
"Oh no, Karn. You saw your friend being decapitated?"
"Saw it?? Have you not listened to anything I've said, Twilight?" he growled, the frustration in his voice was thick and harsh. "As the sergeant of his platoon, I was the one assigned to kill him!"
Twilight gasped. Now his behavior and his reaction to this particular flashback made sense. "So ... it was you that had to carry out that execution," she realized, speaking softly.
"I had no idea who it was to be executed, I was simply ordered across with my platoon who were there to witness it. They dragged him out - he'd obviously been beaten severely. I asked him why he'd thrown his rifle away, why he'd refused to obey orders. I asked why he'd done so, knowing that it'd be me that would have to execute him. He knew God damn well it would be me!"
"Karn ... I'm sorry."
His anger mixed with confusion. "You're sorry? What the hell have you got to be sorry about, Twilight?"
"I mean, sorry about how you feel, about what you had to do ... it must have been awful to ... "
"I looked into his eyes and I gave him the traditional Alsovian final blessing, if you will. I told him to 'embrace death', and then ... then I took my energy blades and cut through his neck. The cut was clean and rapid. His head flew off his shoulders and landed a few feet away, while his body just ... folded up like an accordion," he recalled. Twilight and Fluttershy both managed a horrified gasp. "I walked over to his head, Twilight. It was face down in the mud, so I picked it up and looked into those lifeless eyes. Even in death I could see the pain, the horror, the recollections of demented men screaming, of the dead, of the dying. Even after he was dead, murdered by my own hand, the abominations were still there, written on his face."
The synopsis of his story complete, he turned his head back to the ceiling.
"Karn ... I really don't know what to say."
"Then it's best not to say anything, Twilight. I murdered my own friend and I murdered him because he was afraid, because he'd had enough."
"Karn, what you did was not murder," stated Twilight.
He continued to stare upwards, seemingly oblivious to what she was saying.
"He did what he wanted to do, Karn. It was his decision, not yours. He knew the consequences when he did those things. He was obviously fully aware of what would happen to him ... and I suspect he wanted his last moment to be with you. I think that he wanted you to end his pain, to free him. Karn, you cannot possibly call that action 'murder'. You carried out the sentence and did what you were told to do. It's tragic that he chose you, as his friend, but I think that he must've wanted a close friend to be the last person he ... well, saw. Before he was gone."
Karn slowly shook his head, his gaze still fixed skywards. "How can you possibly trust me after knowing this? There are so many other things I've done, Twilight. You cannot possibly still want me here after hearing about this story. I killed my friend, Twilight. Not only did I kill him, but I felt angry about it afterwards. I was angry at him for having forced me to do that. How can you know these things about me, Twilight, and not hate me?"
"Karn, the fact that you are this remorseful speaks volumes to me about the kind of human you are. What you did was truly horrible, and I can't hope to even imagine what that was like, but you have such a good conscience. So good in fact, that each time you've had to carry out these acts, it's cut back into you, causing you to feel all this guilt and pain. We do not hate you, Karn. We want to help you. We want to understand and above all we want you to get better."
"Twilight, I cannot understand how you could ever forgive me. Remorseful or no, my conscience is what condemns me."
He turned his head around to the right towards Fluttershy. "Fluttershy ... surely you cannot forgive me or accept me now, knowing just one of the horrific things I've done? How could you possibly love me? If you wanted to change your mind about me, I want you to know I would completely understand."
With tears in her eyes, at odds with the gentle smile she had, she climbed under the bed covers and lay next to him. Sliding up towards the pillow, she kissed the side of his cheek very softly. "Karn, I know what you went through was so horrible ... but I promise, I will not give up on you. I love you, Karn, and I need you. Now it's my turn to prove to you that my love is serious!" she whispered to him. Resting her chin on the top of his head, she curled her forelegs around him so his head was resting on her chest, whilst one of her hind legs lay gently across his abdomen.
She was so warm - her scent reached his nose once more and like an ether it soothed his nerves and released his pain. He unclenched his fists.
"I enjoy the way you alleviate my fears of losing you, Fluttershy," he said flatly. "Twilight here has often suggested that I need someone to talk about my experiences with, to bring them out into the open and free them as it were. I would hate to have to ask you to accept that burden."
"Karn, you are … well, my very special somepony. I know that you have a lot of painful memories you need to share, but I am more than happy to listen. There is nothing you can say that would make me leave you, or make me change my mind. It was you who gave me this same lecture after your ... birthday rebirth of a ... ?"
Karn moaned. "My rebirth of a birthday party party."
"... yes, that party. You comforted me and told me that you loved me just the way I was. Karn, please let me love you just the way you are?"
“Fluttershy, there is so much pain, so much fear, so much horror and regret stuck within my memory. Do you really think you can hear about these things, and yet still forgive me? You are the only reason I am willing to keep living, and I am terrified of losing you."
"Karn," she whispered gently, kissing him once more lovingly on the top of his head, "I know that the things you will share with me will be frightening for me ... but I'm not frightened of you! I want to listen, I want to help you get better ... I need you to be my stallion, Karn."
"Fluttershy?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Have I ever told you that are you a miracle?"
She smiled, closed her eyes and cradled his head against her a little more firmly. "No, Karn, you haven't mentioned that to me."
He inhaled her vanilla scent and allowed himself a sigh. “Then it’s about time I did.”
Finally overcome with fatigue, he slowly slid towards sleep. Fluttershy began to sing the same lullaby she'd sung to him in the hospital. As blessed unconsciousness took hold, his last thought was of her smile and her beautiful voice echoed within this troubled mind.
Fluttershy lay next to him, still cradling him against her as he slept. "Karn, I want you to be my stallion someday. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she whispered. "I am never going to give up on you."
Twilight was so moved, that she found note taking to be very difficult. "Fluttershy, I gather that ... well, you'll want to sleep next to him tonight?"
"Yes, Twilight, I hope you don't mind?"
"No, Fluttershy. I understand. Spike and I will be sleeping next door and if for any reason at all you need help or if there's a problem, please come and get us?"
"I will, Twilight. I promise I'll take good care of him."
She snuggled further down Karn's side and wrapped her hooves around him tightly. 'You can try as hard as you like, you are not going to scare me off, come what may. I am not going to lose you ... you're mine, and I am going to care for you. Whether you like it or not!' she thought to herself.
Smiling sweetly, she rested her head against him and softly kissed his chest.
The two lovers slept peacefully, as the guards kept watch for the night. The horrors of Karn's mind stayed jailed within the recesses of his memory, as he dreamt once more of Fluttershy. He dreamt of peaceful fields and a cool breeze and of the beautiful, natural sensation of looking into Fluttershy's eyes whilst they made love. He'd not had an intimate dream of this kind involving her before, but it was not one he found at all unpleasant.
But he dreamt of being joined with her - mentally and physically - and he felt whole.
The morning sun shone through the window to Karn's chambers, causing him to slowly waken. Turning to face Fluttershy, he found her awake and watching him.
"Good morning, my adorable little therapist," he mumbled, still half asleep. "I hope you slept well?"
"I slept wonderfully, thank you. I hope you got some rest and had pleasant dreams?"
His smile was particularly warm. "I had the most incredible dream, Fluttershy. I will not go into too many details, but let me just say that it involved you in several rather lovely ways."
'Oh my goodness ... does he mean ... he dreamt of us ...' she thought. "You mean you dreamt about us ... ummm ... "
He chuckled but left any further explanation unspoken. "It was just a dream, my love, but it was lovely," he whispered, his smile broadening further. He reached over and instinctively smoothed her mane. "Even with bed hair, Fluttershy, you’re adorable."
He lifted her gently up onto his chest again as he lay on his back. She lay on top of him, her legs straddling his abdomen and her front hooves around his neck.
"I love spending moments with you like this, Karn," she smiled.
"Fluttershy, have you noticed something about you that's changed?" he asked happily.
"Oh goodness ... did I do something wrong, Karn?"
"No, my love. Have you noticed that you can share eye contact with me now, without blushing and needing to hide your face?"
Her eyes opened a little, expressing mild shock. "Oh my! I ... you're right! I hadn't thought about that. Do you mind?"
"Oh God no, Fluttershy. You have the most incredibly beautiful blue-green eyes," he declared. He gently slid his hand behind her head into her mane and slowly pulled her towards him, meeting her lips. He lived for moments like this. Caressing her mane and gently running his other hand up and down along her back, they once more explored each other's tongues in a long, exceptionally sensual kiss. His hand slid slowly down her back until he found her tail, gently holding it in his grasp. God, she was just ... angelic, divine - almost supernatural as far as his senses were concerned.
Carefully releasing their kiss, she lifted her head up and smiled sweetly. "Umm ... I hope you enjoyed your dream about me."
"Fluttershy ... " he whispered, gently stroking her tail, his smile the personification of sensuality. "I would love nothing more than to nibble your ear whilst I report on my lovely dreamscape experiences ... but I think we should probably rise and prepare to meet with the princesses. Even if I would rather spend eternity with you astride me like this!" He offered her another brief kiss, before sliding his hand again to her flanks and onto her cutie mark. "Thank you once again, Fluttershy."
She gently rubbed a hoof across his cheek. "What for this time?"
"For being so patient with a man who has bouts of lunacy from time to time. For loving me, even with my faults. For being the way you are - for wanting to listen to a broken creature like me."
Still caressing his check, she gave him another loving kiss. "I want to be with you, Karn. Don't ever forget that! I am going to help you get better, and you'll discover something else about me!"
Karn looked at her, a sly smile on his face. "Good heavens, Fluttershy. Something else. What would that be? You're good at card tricks, perhaps?"
Placing her hooves onto both his cheeks, she kissed him firmly. "You'll discover that I am stubborn."
Kissing him once more, she rose from the bed to prepare for the day's events. Karn managed to sit up on the bed, and took a moment to collect his thoughts. He just found himself observing Fluttershy as she got ready to bathe.
Given that the notice was so short, Rarity had acquiesced to the suggestion that Karn wear the same suit of clothes that he'd worn to his rebirth of a birthday party party.
"I'm am sorry, my dear, I wish I'd had time to prepare something far more appropriate for this grand occasion!" Rarity had exclaimed, holding her hoof across her forehead - looking extraordinarily dramatic.
"It's fine, my lady, really. I appreciate everything you've done. I have never owned such a fine set of clothes before in my life."
"Honestly, my dear! I shall have to outfit you ... with some variety at least?"
"You're not fond of my uniform, my lady?"
"My dear, it ... is indeed an interesting design, but to wear the same style of clothes constantly! It becomes garish to the eye. I should like to find colors that accentuate you. Red, black, a dark blue perhaps. I shall insist upon fitting you out with a selection of clothes for the coming season!"
Karn was both amused and very grateful. "Thank you, my lady. I can find no suitable words, nor superlatives I can use to describe your kindness, generosity and your abilities as a couturier. If one may say so, the beauty of your creations matches that of your own," he acknowledged dramatically.
"Karn, my dear, I would do anything whatsoever for a ‘gentleman’ such as yourself," she gushed.
Karn found these moments with Rarity to be a good source of entertainment. Her manner was naturally refined, pristine - and the way she spoke! Whilst it could often be dramatic - it still sang of urbane sophistication. He had never had the opportunity to exercise this kind of chivalry, and he was enjoying himself a great deal. She was beautiful, generous and a skilled artisan. Truly an unknown soul from where he had come from. A new set of clothes, just for one visit - the very idea of such extravagance would have grated on the austere people of his homeland.
Now suitably dressed, he left his chamber and met the others out in the enormous hallway. Naturally they were being escorted by guards. Karn had at least prepared for that, and worked hard to remind himself as to where he was - to keep his presence of mind firmly anchored in the present, in the moment. 'There will be no flashbacks, you bastard. You will act with dignity and honor, like an Alsovian adept should,' he thought heavily.
With an about face, the guards began to escort the eight of them towards the throne room. The height of the hallway and indeed its length were things that Karn found strange. Such cost and such a spectacular use of materials - for little more than show! He knew his father would actually have been deeply offended at this display - he could very nearly hear him now. 'What kind of insanity is this? A roof you cannot reach, and if you could, for what reason? To lay thy hands upon cold stone! Opulence is nothing more than wastefulness, boy. Heed the words of your old father - waste nothing and want for nothing!'.
"How are you doing, Karn? You're not feeling strange again are you?" asked Twilight.
"Not this time. I'm trying to keep focused on meeting the princesses, amongst other things."
"Other things?" she asked. Karn said nothing, just turned to look down at Fluttershy with a devilish smile. "Oh! Okay, I um ... I understand. That would help, too," she stammered, finding herself blushing. She was still getting used to the concept of Karn and Fluttershy being a couple. It was certainly not something she'd expected when she had commenced studying him so long ago. Notes had been dutifully taken though, following the brief chat the night before.
"I had actually also thought of my father," he said suddenly, pricking her interest.
"Your father? What made you think of him so suddenly?"
"Well, I was observing the spectacularly ornate hallway and it's truly incredible dimensions - the marble, the fixtures, the architecture. My father would have found all of this highly inappropriate."
"Highly inappropriate ? But the palace is a magnificent building! It's wondrous, colossal, beautiful .... "
"... and wasteful. I agree with you on the points regarding the architecture! I am genuinely impressed! But you must understand that my father was some seven hundred solar cycles old and very ascetic in his outlook. The house we lived in was strong, but not grand. Everything had a reason for being where it was. Anything placed for the purposes of decoration struck him as mindless. But this ... ", he said, waving his hands over his head to indicate the sheer size and ostentatious décor of the hall, "... he would have found ridiculous!" Their throne-ward progress continued for a moment before he spoke again. "The only decoration my father ever allowed, was his Order of Alsovia."
"That sounds fascinating! I gather it was a military award?"
"It was, indeed. The highest possible award for courage under enemy fire. He was awarded it three times, and was recommended for a fourth. The order itself is what we called a 'neck' order, so it was a ribbon and medal hung around the neck. The medal itself would be numbered, and carry the full name and service number of the recipient. Subsequent awards are shown with diamonds attached to the medal itself. So, his award had the two diamonds. Thrice awarded the highest medal for courage that the nation had. It was the only thing I think he ever allowed to be displayed in the house."
"He must have been very proud of that?"
"No, Twilight, it wasn't pride. He had many visitors over the years, as he was one of only five adepts ever awarded the Order three times. Nobody had ever been awarded a fourth, so the fact that he had that fourth recommendation made him a bit of a celebrity!"
"I can imagine!" exclaimed Twilight.
"I asked him once about why he had the award framed and hung on the wall so beautifully, and yet the concept of a painting, or a photo, or even some paint was anathema to him. 'If you seek to be austere, father, why this display of your order' I asked, or words to that effect. His answer was one that shocks me still."
"... Um ... well, what was his answer? If you don't mind my asking?"
"He said, it was not pride nor joy nor pleasure. It was not for celebrity nor the attention and respect of others. He said he placed it on the wall to remind him of the dead. Dead friends, dead combatants, dead strangers. To remind him of the waste, the senseless devastation and the ruin of so many lives. He said he placed it on the wall to remind him of the cost and the misery he'd inflicted, and to remind himself to always be self-denying."
"... I'm not sure I understand?"
"Twilight, he was punishing himself. He was wracked with guilt over what he'd done to be awarded this order so many times. He put his award on display so that each morning on the way out to the farm, and each evening when he returned, he would be reminded of the horrors he had inflicted. He was a strong man! His mind wasn't broken like mine, but with his personal philosophy so opposed to waste and senselessness, and his complete contempt for ignorance and stupidity, the award just personified everything he'd done that he hated . He hung his order on the wall in order to chastise himself, Twilight."
They finally began to approach the entry to the throne room. As the guards prepared to open the doors and introduce the visitors, Karn turned to Twilight. "I notice you didn't write any of that down in that damn notebook of yours," he chuckled.
She gave him a look that suggested she held the trump card. "But I certainly will be taking notes after our meeting here!"
"Twilight ... I almost expected you to poke your tongue out at me that time."
The doors to the throne room opened and she smiled, then quickly stuck her tongue out at him playfully. Karn had to stifle a laugh. She was a harsh teacher and an awfully persistent therapist ... but she had fun moments. Truly among all of those books of hers, there were nuggets of gold.
"Your Majesties, may we introduce the elements of harmony - Princess Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Your Majesties, may we introduce Spike, assistant to Princess Twilight, and Karn Rolltagen, human visitor."
'He spoke my clan name properly!' thought Karn to himself. To hear his clan name spoken, and spoken by such a powerful voice, sent shivers along his spine. 'How did they learn how to pronounce it? None of the ponies I spend time with have ever used that name. It's all very strange,' he mused. With a luxurious looking carpet leading towards two thrones. Upon one sat Princess Celestia, with whom he was acquainted. On the other sat a dark mare, with a curiously dark, blue mane. He'd not met her before, but who knew what was possible in this place. His father's voice echoed briefly in the back of his head, 'what a disgusting waste of fabric - laid across a foolish marble floor and used for nothing but placing your feet upon. It is waste, my boy,'
As they reached the edge of the dais upon which the thrones rested, the ponies present all bowed very lowly, their eyes averted. Karn tried his utmost to appear to be humble before a foreign sovereign - he knelt with his right knee on the carpet and his right arm held horizontally across his chest, in what would have been considered a salute where he was from. Thus knelt, he lowered his head to his chin and remained motionless.
Princess Celestia was the first to speak, and to Karn's surprise the greeting was a warm one. The loud and officious manner in which they had been lead into their presence led him to expect something incredibly formal - yet this was more of a meeting of old friends.
"Ah, Princess Twilight, my faithful student! It is wonderful to see you again!"
"Princess Celestia, it's been too long!"
Karn was moderately stunned to see the larger, majestic Princess Celestia and the smaller alicorn nuzzling each other. Clearly things had become a good deal less formal following the rather extraordinary entry.
"And greetings to you, Karn! You are looking a lot better than when we saw you last," smiled Princess Celestia. The manner and tone of her voice was pleasant - and very cordial. It certainly helped Karn to feel more at ease with what was to him a strange diplomatic situation. Diplomacy was one of the subjects he had not actually read a great deal about.
"Thank you, Majesty. The ... tender care and attention of your subjects has helped me toward a somewhat speedy physical recovery."
"I'm sure it has! I hope you don't mind Twilight keeping a close eye on you and reporting to me about your recovery?"
Finding this out was no great surprise. "Not at all, Majesty. With an unknown entity such as myself loose within your realm, keeping a sharp eye on them would seem ... tactically and logically sound!" He managed as warm a smile as he could.
"Tactically sound, indeed," she beamed. "I must also admit that you have actually met my sister, Princess Luna."
Karn turned to face the strange, dark skinned pony that he'd observed when entering the room. She was slightly smaller than Celestia, but there was pride and dignity in her stance. The voice was strong, it sounded used to command. "We are happy to finally meet with you in person!" she stated.
'Meet me in person ... how else would she have met me? We've not exchanged a word,' thought Karn. "I do apologize, Majesty, but I cannot recall having had any contact with you at all, until today?"
"I am Princess Luna, the dream world is one of my domains! I have watched you in your dreams and observed your thoughts whilst thou hast slept!"
'Watching me ... in my dreams ?' he thought. A brief spark of panic stuck him when he thought of what he had just recently dreamt about. "Forgive me, Majesty, but I don't recall seeing you in my dreams?"
"We can shift and meld, so as to avoid being seen," she said firmly.
"Majesty ...did that happen to include ... last night ... by any chance?" asked Karn, a touch nervously.
She stood there with her eyes fixed on his, blinked once or twice and then cleared her throat. "Well. Yes. Since you had arrived in the palace, we wanted to take the opportunity to know more about you. I can say that from what I observed ... ", she cleared her throat again, "... thou certainly do not appear to post any threat unto us here!"
'Well ... there's nothing you can do about it now, just try to stay gracious you idiot,' he thought to himself angrily. "I'm delighted to know that your Majesties are not threatened by me. Certainly such has never my desire, nor any part of my plan. In fact, my plan is what I wished to lay before you during this summons, if you would so honor a stranger in your realm to do so?"
Princess Celestia laughed heartily. "Oh my dear, you do speak so highly! Come Princesses and the bearers of the elements! We have things to discuss privately."
The ante chamber to which the two princesses lead them was certainly well appointed. One of the many servants had prepared a light mid-morning snack for them - mostly greens and vegetables and such, plus some rather sweet smelling tea. Karn was directed to a seat, which to his delight was actually somewhat larger than he'd been used to in Ponyville.
"Please, make yourselves comfortable. I do hope that the sofa here is more suitable for your size, Karn?" asked Princess Celestia.
"It is indeed, Majesty, thank you. I have been trying to remind myself to build at least one chair I can carry with me wherever I am in Ponyville. I have something of a fear of breaking someone's chair one day."
She laughed lightly at his comment. "Would you like some tea, Karn? I believe that the lemon tea Fluttershy makes for you is a particular favorite of yours!"
'How does she know these things?' he thought, with a degree of trepidation. 'If she knows about these sorts of minutiae, what else does she know?' "Thank you, Majesty, and yes! I love Fluttershy's lemon tea especially," he agreed. Fluttershy had of course taken a seat next to Karn, although not so close as to be unseemly here amongst the two princesses.
Princess Celestia used her magic to pour him a cup of tea and to hand it to him. "Thank you, Majesty." he managed. The scent of the tea was wonderful. He wasn't sure what it was about lemons and such that always pleased him this way - he could only think it was the scarcity of such fresh produce anywhere near where he'd been stationed.
Princess Luna brought the conversation back towards the purpose of the summons. "We have summoned you here as we wish to seek to clarify a few things," she commanded in that strong voice once more, "and to hear of this suggestion that you say you wish to lay before us."
"Majesty, I am at your service. What may I help clarify?"
"It has come to our attention that thou wishest to stay within Equestria and to live. Is this the case?"
How did they know these things? "Well ... yes, Majesty. In point of fact, that was actually what I was hoping to ask of you, whilst we were here."
The two princesses sipped their tea and studied him for a moment.
"He has been improving a great deal, Princess Celestia," reported Twilight. "Karn, I've been sending daily updates to the princess on your progress and how you've been doing ... I haven't told you about the daily reports because ... well ... "
"It would interfere and almost certainly affect the behavior of the subject being tested," he observed.
"I'm sorry, Karn, I hope knowing that now doesn't upset you?"
"Of course not, Twilight. As I've said before, when you're dealing with an unknown element, that would be prudent. I guess I should even be flattered that I should be shown so much attention! It's not very often I hear about someone writing letters home about me every evening!" he smiled. Even the oddly commanding Princess Luna managed a laugh.
"The main aspect of the summaries that we have received that cause us concern, Karn, are those of your flashbacks," pointed out Princess Celestia. If Karn had been wearing his combat boots, his heart would currently be sitting in the bottom of one of the heels. "Certainly the most recent one, of which we learnt yesterday, occurring here within the palace."
"Yes, Majesty. It was an awful display on my part, and I apologize."
"Karn, " boomed Princess Luna, "it is our concern that you could prove to be a danger to our subjects and not just yourself when you have these episodes. What possible guarantee can you give that you would not cause anypony harm, given that from what we understand, you were momentarily unaware of precisely where you were after yesterdays 'episode'?"
"Majesty, in all truth I cannot give any guarantee. I do not believe I am capable of harming anyone during my flashbacks. In fact, the only thing I have managed to do is injure myself on one occasion."
"Yes. The barn door at Sweet Apple Acres," recalled Princess Celestia.
"Indeed, Majesty. It's impossible for me to see how I would hurt anyone else, only myself. I have so much on my mind that I want to ... bring out into the open, to dispel, to release from my mind. I understand that this will take time and a good deal of empathy and understanding from my carers. But I do earnestly believe that I will improve."
"Karn, where could you possibly stay within Ponyville? Obviously you cannot live permanently at the hospital there, we know very well that it does not have facilities for treating anyone with a chronic condition such as yours."
"Well, Majesties, I had thought of asking your permissions to build a small place of my own somewhere just outside of Ponyville, where I could have peace and be in the way as little as possible. I have a few skills that I wished to pursue in order to earn enough to support myself, as well as to be self sufficient by way of growing my own produce."
Princess Celestia placed her cup back onto the serving tray. She looked up sadly at the human. "Karn, whilst we can conceive of you living in a house of your construction and using the time to heal, the concern we have is not over housing you, but of our subjects being safe from you. We are all well aware of these gifts you have with respect to energy, but it is with the ability to use such energy as a weapon that perturbs us. If you were to have a flashback and to utilize such an ability, the effect could be tragic!"
He nodded his head solemnly - it had been a worry of his own for a long time now. "Yes, Majesty. I understand and agree. If the worst did happen, it could prove catastrophic."
Twilight attempted to come to his aid. "Princess Celestia, he has made so much progress! He's expressed his willingness to seek help from us with respect to his 'flashbacks', and as I've reported to you, he has shown marked improvement!"
"We appreciate your care and concern for him, Twilight, but as you have admitted in your own reports, he is most at ease when he is under the watchful care of one of you. Whilst we appreciate that his sessions with you have thus far proven a benefit to his well being and to our understanding, you cannot be expected to be with him at all times. You have so many duties!" insisted Princess Celestia.
"And as you are such a danger to yourself, Karn, it would be highly improper of us to allow you to live anywhere on thy own! Outside of Ponyville or no!" added Princess Luna.
Karn could only nod his acceptance. These were all valid arguments - there was no way to deny that he could indeed be a danger to himself and others, and that the requirement for his constant supervision would prove to be a burden.
He looked up at Princess Celestia, meeting her saddened gaze with his own. "Majesty ... where would you have me go? Is there somewhere distant you had in mind, where the only danger I would prove to be would be to myself, where I would no longer be a burden for your subjects in Ponyville?"
Twilight interrupted. "Oh Karn, I don't think that there's any suggestion that you leave!!"
"Twilight, I don't wish to be in Ponyville if I am going to a burden for anyone. You have your own duties that you need to focus on. You can't afford to spend your time checking on me every other hour of the day, it wouldn't be fair on you. With my mental state so parlous, I'm obviously too much of a risk to live on my own. Having me leave and be elsewhere seems the only other logical solution!"
"NO! " came a sudden shout, to everyone's complete surprise. That the dissent had been made so abruptly was amazing in itself - being as they were, in royal company. That the aforesaid dissenter was a tearful Fluttershy of all ponies confounded everyone further. All eyes fixed on her, she stood on the sofa next to Karn. "What if ... well, Princess Celestia, you say he would only be allowed to stay in Ponyville if we was always in company of one of the elements of harmony?"
"That is correct, my dear."
"... and that given his condition, he cannot be allowed to live on his own?"
Princess Celestia nodded once more.
"Well, Princess, would it be okay if ... well, if he lived with me? Or, well, I mean stayed with me, in my house?"
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna exchanged thoughtful glances.
Princess Luna turned back to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, you realize the enormity of what you are asking?"
"Yes, Princess!"
"... that you will be responsible for making sure he is not a risk to anypony? That he is safe? To make certain that he meets as often as necessary with Twilight to continue her study of him and to record his improvement?"
"Yes, Princess, I would be more than happy to be responsible for that!"
Princess Celestia turned to Twilight. "This idea does have some merit. Fluttershy is far enough away from the center of town for him not to necessary present an immediate threat if he did have flashbacks, but near enough to you for your continued reports as to his condition. What's more, that would also satisfy our requirement that he be under watch at all times by the elements."
Twilight felt her heart lifted. "Princess Celestia, I think the idea is wonderful!" she exclaimed, before rising from her chair and trotting over to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy - you do realize what's being asked of you? You need to be absolutely sure you are up to this. Do you really think you can be there for him, to watch and make sure he is doing okay?"
"Oh yes, Twilight."
"I don't just mean in ... well, in romantic ways, now Fluttershy. This is serious - he is not well as you know and he has issues that he needs to discuss with someone. Would you be able to be that empathetic ear that we think he needs?"
"I would love to be!"
Karn was the next to ask her if she was ready for the task she had so eagerly volunteered for. "Fluttershy, whilst I am very well physically, as you know from yesterday there a good many things I've done in my past that would be truly horrific for you to hear about. You do understand that if I open up to you and tell you more about my past, you may find yourself confronting aspects of my history and of my nature that you may find hard to bare?"
"Karn ... I would love nothing more in the world than to listen to you, to help you through your terrors, to be there for you when you need me to be!"
"Well ... it seems then, that we have an agreement," smiled Princess Celestia. "What word can you give us, Karn, that you would be willing to be bound by our decisions and by our commands?"
"Majesty!" he exclaimed "I can take the same oath I took upon enlisting for Alsovia - since that world now no longer exists, I believe I am free of that oath to make it here again, for you and Princess Luna? If you would be willing to hear it?"
"We would be delighted to hear this said oath, Karn. We will have to decide whether to accept it after we hear it."
Karn rose to his feet sharply and crossed his right arm horizontally across his chest in what was the standard form of military salute for an Alsovian.
"I promise, upon my life to honor, to serve and to protect unto death the land of Equestria and her rulers, to follow the commands of her rulers whenever they command, and to heed the call of Equestria when she calls. To Equestria and her rulers, I swear my absolute allegiance, even unto death, and to serve and make her proud of me. This I swear, upon my honor, upon my life and to all with whom I serve."
He stood there, holding the salute, completely motionless.
Princess Celestia exchanged another smile with Princess Luna, before turning back to him.
"Karn, we happily accept and intend to fully hold you to your oath!"
Releasing his salute and grinning widely, he took his seat again.
"Well!" exclaimed Twilight. "It seems we may have a new citizen of Equestria with us now!"
Fluttershy threw her arms around him, in a loving embrace which he returned. "Well, Fluttershy, now you're really lumbered with me," he muttered to her.
"You forgot, Karn - I told you I'm stubborn!"
"Oh my love, I'm hoping you won't need to be," he whispered, gently kissing her behind her ear.
Author's Note
"Ubique Quo Fas Et Gloria Ducunt" - the motto of the Royal Artillery Regiment. Roughly translated, it means "Everywhere That Right And Glory Lead". "Fas" implies divine law, or sacred duty. It is this tightly held scared duty that has brought Karn to his unfortunate situation there in Canterlot. In performing his sacred duty, his ego is destroyed in consequence.
This isn't a case of "boo hoo" (the only feedback I've had so far). He is a broken man. His kindness and caring nature has been twisted through his service, to leave him essentially wracked with a broken mind, a conscience overloaded with what his rational mind now tells him was immoral, or evil. These extreme poles of his psyche are tearing him apart.
His most recent flashback hints at some of the darker things he has had to do whilst in his former universe. This is not a case of his being a 'heel' so much as his sense of guilt. He has been driven to protect the men within his unit, and had now been forced to execute a soldier that he knew personally. His care and concern for all those with whom he has served has then lead him to feel akin to a murderer. Not only could he not save his friend, he was directly responsible for taking his life. This incident is the tip of the iceberg.
I'm enjoying writing - if you do vote this story up or down, or do nothing but read it, PLEASE give me feedback? I am so eager to improve my style and I always appreciate objective criticism.
POST EDIT 2017-06-20:
“If some mystical occurrences happen to us, don’t we “normally” and fearfully prefer to call them strange coincidences? Or try to persuade ourselves it was only an indication of our overactive imagination? Aren’t we “normally” closing our eyes and ears, refusing to face the truth?”
― Sahara Sanders, INDIGO DIARIES: A Series of Novels
With the royal summons having been completed, Twilight decided to spend a little of the afternoon looking around Canterlot before taking the Friendship Express back to Ponyville later that day. It was in a very light hearted state of mind that Karn found himself being accompanied around the sights within Canterlot by the six ponies and Spike. He'd been given permission to stay in Equestria and, more to the point, the right to reside in Ponyville. That alone felt like the lifting of a tremendous burden from his shoulders. He was concerned about Fluttershy having so readily accepted the burden of helping to keep an eye on him. The kind of trauma he was burdened with was probably the last thing she needed.
The city of Canterlot proved to be a source of the most incredible wonder for Karn. He found himself observing some magnificent spectacle, only to move on to some other astounding feat of architectural skill. Upon spending some time admiring that, there would be yet another astonishingly beautiful edifice, yet each time he found himself conflicted. His own inner dialog would merge in strange ways with recollections of his father's, leaving him unsure at times whether to feel elation or disgust. This strange divergence of his emotions actually led to him feeling amused - almost as if he could see himself singing the praises of some particular building while insisting it be bulldozed down.
It was whilst in this curiously disjointed frame of mind that he found himself looking up at the most exquisitely designed water feature - a public fountain.
"Isn't this wonderful? This particular fountain was constructed just fifty years after the creation of the city itself! Don't you think it makes a wonderfully peaceful feature here like this, Karn?" offered Twilight, interrupting his thoughts.
His eyes studied the magnificent stone sculpture of a unicorn stallion, raised up on it's hind legs, water spouting from the top of it's horn. The attention to detail was astounding - one almost suspected it to be a street performer covered in plaster only he could sense no polarization of a heart within the feature itself. He'd started to notice that he was now able to sense this movement of bio-electric energy at distances greater than he'd ever been able to before. He'd paid this change no mind, putting the heightening of this sense down to the rest and gentle care afforded him by his new-found friends and his not living within a two-ended shooting gallery anymore.
"Astounding, indeed, was the sculptor's prowess. The artwork is truly incredible, and yes - I would certainly agree that the sound the water makes and the cool air that flows through it gives me a sense of peace," he announced, whilst he sported a half-smirk suggesting that he wasn't entirely sure what he felt about this scene. The overall impression he seemed to give was that he'd only managed to point out half of what he was actually feeling.
"I know that look, Karn. It's the same one you had in the palace hall," said Twilight with a stern look in her eye.
"I'm sorry, Twilight. I love the fountain. I really do! It looks magnificent, and truly the artists involved were very gifted! But there's that ... Alsovian aspect of me that sees a block of stone which has been sculpted into a form to do little more than waste water."
"Karn, which do you think is the stronger emotion you're experiencing? Do you love it, or do you hate it?"
He smiled down towards her. "No, I love it, Twilight. It's marvelous!” Karn gazed back at the fountain, an unsure look on his face. “ It's just that old habits and old views are hard to break."
She managed a half scowl of her own for him. "Are you hearing your father again?"
"... his father?!?" asked Pinkie suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention.
"Yes, Pinkie. I was telling Twilight about the worldviews of my father this morning in the palace," he sighed, turning back to admire the sculpture. "Whilst I love the artwork and find the skill of the artisans themselves to be breathtaking, my father... well, he wouldn't have approved."
"What are you saying, Clubman! That your dad didn't like water fountains?" pitched in Rainbow Dash.
Karn had by now given up on trying to stop them from using his nickname. Since Applejack was really the only one of them to understand how he'd earned the nickname in the first place, he thought it best just to let it slide.
"That, my delightful destroyer of hatchways, is precisely what I'm saying! He would not have approved of this waste of stone and water."
"Huh. Doesn't sound like a lot of fu-"
"Nor would he have approved of the fanciful architecture of these buildings surrounding us!" Karn stepped closer to Rainbow Dash.
"Okay, so he wouldn't have li-"
"Nor the manner of clothes that ponies seem to wear here!" He soon towered over her, glancing at Rarity, looking very serious.
Rarity was taken aback, this time. "My dear! Not even so much as ..."
"Nor the palace itself and its wonderfully ornate hallways, its marbled ceilings, the wonderful designs on the stain glass windows, the manner in which we were served tea with the princesses, nor even the furniture within that anteroom."
The ponies all looked at each other, varying expressions on their faces, before turning back to Karn.
"Well, then what in tarnation would he have liked?" asked Applejack, feeling a little annoyed about these opinions though delivered vicariously.
Karn smiled warmly and turned to face her. "He would have loved all of you," he said simply.
Applejack tilted her head sideways and raised an eyebrow at him. Clearly, she didn't buy that for a moment.
"I'm serious, Applejack. He would have appreciated your individual gifts and your devotion to each other. Your cutie marks in particular would have actually impressed him deeply - a mark of extraordinary efficiency! He'd have loved that. As to the other things I spoke of, it's more that he would consider the use of so much stone to do little more than blow water into the air to be an astounding waste of time, resources and water," he said finally.
"My father was pragmatic to a fault. He was ascetic and carried an intense dislike of anything that had no practical purpose. Speaking for myself, I enjoy it! I admire the skill of the builders! The fountain itself is ... peaceful! I haven't had a lot of peace and that someone utilized a chunk of stone to help me feel less anxious, Doorsmasher, then so be it!"
Rainbow Dash looked back at him, confusion on her face. He grinned at her - any moment she'd make the connection. "Wait, why are you calling me Door..." she began, before she paused suddenly as her mind caught up with her and answered her own question. "Ngh!"
Karn managed a chuckle. "I'm sorry, Dashie. You started using my stupid nickname first!" he reminded her, gently waving his pointer finger towards her. "So, Twilight, to answer your questions - I love this display, whilst my father would've been horrified."
They continued on their brief exploration of the city. For all of his austere upbringing, he could not help but be impressed, even moved. The city didn't appear to have been built with a particular town plan in mind - but this lent the entire metropolis a charm that was both fascinating and exciting. The roads were often cobbled, but they were clean and well kept. The houses and shops butted up one against the other, but the creatures living here seemed friendly and free of cares. The air was sweet and clean, not at all smoky, dusty or musky as he would have expected from a large city. There was order and organization, to be sure - but the free flowing design of the place, the casual atmosphere created by its citizens and the unending procession of well groomed buildings gave everything a light-hearted charm. Karn found himself rather speechless, looking from one side of the street to the next and always being impressed by some lovely vision; fine architecture, curious designs, clean side streets and all manner of strange creatures. It was easy to see how a human - apparently a one of a kind here - could be so easily accepted.
"So this is where you were born and where you grew up, Twilight?" he asked, finally.
"Well, where I lived before I left for Ponyville to discover the secret of friendship, yes it was! I attended the school for gifted unicorns here as well! I'm sorry we don't really have enough time to visit all of those places before we have to head back."
"May I be so bold as to ask to come back again sometime? When business is less pressing? I should love to see the school in particular."
"Of course! I'd love to show you around!" beamed Twilight. "I hope you don't mind ... you know ... the fine architecture and the great waste of brick and stone in the school's construction, Karn?" she asked melodramatically whilst smiling crookedly at him.
He looked back at her with fake consternation. "My dear Twilight! What would have given you the idea that I could think such things?"
She cocked her head a little to one side. "Oh, it's just precedent, Karn. I don't think bringing your father along would be a good idea," she observed. "Oh, my goodness! Oh, Karn, I'm so sorry, that was a heartless and silly thing to say!"
He continued to smile at her. "That's okay, Twilight. I understand you were just trying to be funny. No offense was meant and therefore quite rightly none was taken."
The afternoon walk around the town continued. Twilight managed a slight blush and looked away a little, feeling rather foolish.
"Hey, Clubbster !!!" interrupted Rainbow Dash. "I know your dad wouldn't have liked it here, but what about your mother?"
"Ah. My mother," said Karn. He looked forwards for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "She wasn't as austere as my father, I can safely tell you that much," he continued. "She was a veteran as well, of course. She was ... a saint of a woman. She was gentle, thoughtful, incredibly kind. She absolutely adored my father!" he exclaimed, turning to face Rainbow Dash, before he returned his gaze forwards once more. "She was the one who encouraged me to read fiction occasionally. To add poetry and prose to my reading material, rather than just treatises on medicine or physics. She felt that it would add character and color to my learning," he said with a note of nostalgia in his voice.
"Huh," was all Rainbow Dash could manage.
"You're saying I have no character, Door Killer?" he laughed, turning towards her once more.
"Pfff, no! I didn't say that!"
"Ah! But you were thinking it!"
"I was not!" she smiled.
"No, you were thinking about ... " he began, before he stopped suddenly, now motionless in the middle of the street yet staring at Rainbow Dash in amazement. "No ... you were thinking about ... how you could find a way to get comfortable enough to be able to sleep on the train."
Rainbow Dash's eyes flew open and she stared back him. "Ah ... yeah. Yeah I was. But ... how in Equestria did you know that?"
Karn remained standing there, staring at Rainbow dash. He was unnerved, unsettled - even a little mortified. "Dashie ... I have absolutely no idea at all."
The others having also stopped to observe this sudden turn of events were likewise as puzzled, Twilight especially.
"Karn? ... How did you know what she was thinking?"
"I don't know, Twilight."
"So ... what? You guessed what she was thinking?"
"No, Twilight. I just ... knew."
"How can you just know what somepony is thinking, Karn?" she asked, her voice full of bemusement.
"It just sprang into my mind, Twilight. That's never happened before. I was just talking to her, not doing anything in particular, and then it ... just occurred to me. I just knew suddenly that she was wondering how she'd get to sleep on the train as it's so uncomfortable for her ... I don't know where that knowledge came from. It just ... sprang to my mind," he reported. He turned down to face his inquisitor. "Twilight ... I don't know what happened, but I'm not sure I like this feeling."
"Do you know what I'm thinking right now?" asked Twilight, intrigued.
"I have no idea at all. I wasn't consciously attempting to reach out and feel Dashie's mind at the time, Twilight."
"I'm certainly glad to hear that much, Karn!" exclaimed a now worried Rainbow Dash.
"As I said, Twilight, it just sort of ... crept into the conversation. I was cutting up with her and then when she denied thinking I had no character, my mind just filled in the blanks for me. It was automatic. It just sprang there."
It was inevitable at this time that the notebook flew from her saddlebags and Twilight jotted more notes furiously on its pages. "Karn, once we return to Ponyville, I want to spent a great deal of time with you examining this potential of yours. I don't know what just happened, but clearly it was out of the ordinary."
Karn's shoulders sank a little and he frowned at her. "Am I going to have to wear that silly metal colander again?"
"Quite possibly," she replied flatly as the pace of her writing intensified.
"Really? More electroencephalography through a pasta strainer?" Her scrawling continued - the pace unabated. "Twilight, why do you never run out of pages in that book of yours?"
"I keep alot of spare journals, Karn."
"What do I have to do to be able to read back my own medical reports, Twilight?"
"You know I can't let you do that, Karn."
"I do realize it could very well alter the behavior of your subject, but it'd certainly be fun? For me, anyway."
She looked up him with that look once more and he made a mental note to come up with a 'cute' name for that expression. Hopefully one she would find irritating as there was something about her irritated look that he appreciated just as much as 'that look'.
"You must have a quite a store of them by now with me being your subject of study? Is there a Doctorate or something involved if you can get a paper published?"
"A paper? Oh Karn, what would I call such a thing?"
He shrugged his shoulders a little. "Inter-universal travel of hominids with fractured minds and their dislike of high architecture?" She gave him 'the look' again - the one that he'd become accustomed to and learned to love. "Rolltagen - an anthropological study into the broken minds of adepts in the former service of Alsovia?" he suggested. The look from Twilight intensified. "Door repair for people with minimal ... "
"Ugh! The door again, Karn?" Twilight growled.
"Har, I can't help it, Twilight. I find such things to be amusing. You realize that my sense of humor is one of the things that you really haven't questioned me about a great deal."
"As soon as we return to Ponyville and my door gets fixed, Karn, I think we have a lot of holes to fill in as far as you're concerned."
He frowned at her. "You're suggesting I have holes that need filling?" he asked in an attempt to be facetious. Realizing the way such a question could be misconstrued he quickly followed with an explanation. "I mean my mouth?” he clarified whilst indicating his jaw with his pointer finger as if additional cues were required. “At times I do tend to get carried away and I also understand that my sense of humor tends towards the absurd. Thus far you haven't minded too much - but then of course you are extremely patient, my dear therapist. I shall make it a point here that if you were to threaten to fill my mouth with wet cement that you would not be the first creature to do so."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "For Celestia's sake, Karn, what would I do in my spare time without you."
"Probably something a lot less trying on your nerves, princess," he observed. The early afternoon ramble through the glorious capital of Equestria continued once more. Rarity also seemed to be especially in her element, admiring the various dresses and gowns that the townsfolk appeared to be wearing. Pinkie still exuded a seemingly boundless energy as she hopped around. It was odd that Twilight had not in fact commenced a study into where Pinkie got that much energy from. Obviously there was the sugar component but beyond its use in cellular construction and for the production of adenosine triphosphate, it didn't explain the way she was gifted with this constantly effusive personality.
They all decided to stop at a small restaurant near one of the many elegant side streets for a bite to eat. There were still a few hours to go until the train would be arriving in the Canterlot station to take them home and being able to dine in a restaurant here in Canterlot was another experience that Karn was unwilling to pass up. They made their way through the front door single file and it was obvious that they made an interesting sight to the other diners.
"Good afternoon, madam. How many will be dining this afternoon?" asked a most extraordinarily polite maître d'hôtel.
"Well, we have six ponies, one baby dragon and one human so I guess that makes a party of eight," responded Twilight.
"Certainly, madam. If you would all care to follow me? We have a large table here near the window."
They made their way carefully across the restaurant. The establishment wasn't crowded, but the roof was still one that Karn found uncomfortably low. He secretly dreaded having to sit on another pony sized stool.
"Would sir like a slightly larger chair to sit in? I am afraid the chairs at the table may be uncomfortable for you."
Karn was pleasantly surprised at the offer. It would be wonderful to be able to be seated without either being overcome by the fear of breaking the furniture. Of course to sit at a table without having his knees at the level of his chest was just another simple comfort that he had been missing a great deal since his arrival.
"That would be wonderful! Thank you very much!"
"Of course, Sir! I shall be back in just one moment."
The ponies and Spike all took seats near the window table, their faces all pleasant smiles. A seat more appropriate to a human duly arrived and Karn took a place at the table next to Fluttershy. The ponies chose a variety of items from the menu ranging from hay burgers to daffodils. These were victuals that Karn had become used to. He had in fact tasted a few daffodils and whilst they were not the most pleasant things he'd eaten, they were a food stuff and at least some of their substance would prove helpful for his physiology. He opted instead for a vegetable burger - these were essentially a vegetarian dish, but he'd found similar food in Ponyville that did indeed contain a variety of complete proteins. In a worst case he could obtain animal protein from fish. Evidently this was okay since Fluttershy herself seemed to be feeding them to the cats that she had. Even Opal, the feline that Rarity cared for, was able to at least eat trout. As far as Karn knew, cats were not necessarily evolved to eat fish but clearly the cats that roamed the village were quite healthy and they were obligatory carnivores.
He forced these thoughts from his mind abruptly. ‘I am over-analyzing a meal for fuck’s sake,’ he muttered inwardly.
Their respective meals duly arrived. He observed the vegetable burger that was laid before him. The chefs here obviously had access to a wide variety of spices and herbs which gave the vegetable patty a most delightful aroma. Grasping the burger carefully in his hands, he managed to take a large bite; letting the soy and chickpea-based patty carry its array of spices around his palette. He could remember a time many cycles ago when his unit had been cut off for several days and in lieu of air dropped supplies they had been reduced to boiling the leather of their shoes for long enough for it be able to be chewed.
He continued to masticate the heavenly mouthful of the burger and used the opportunity to look around the inside of the restaurant. The walls were a wonderfully light-blue color with ornate edgings around the windows. Outside, ponies of all kinds walked past. Some trotted by with a degree of determination whilst obviously focused on a particular errand. Others held hooves together, clearly partners just out enjoying the weather. Still others just seemed to be out for a stroll, like Twilight and the rest of them. In no case had he noted any hint of panic, fear or trepidation - there was no threat of shelling, no threat of war. No uniformed soldiers marched through the streets, no anti-aircraft weapons were stationed on any houses or other buildings, and aside from guards at the appropriate gateways to the city, ponies were not pulled up in the street and harassed for papers and identification.
The relaxed way in which the ponies of this city trotted - a spring in their step, a relaxed look about their bearing and so many smiles. This was most assuredly an empire at peace.
"Karn? You okay?" asked Applejack, suddenly tearing him away from his study of Canterlot society.
"Oh. Sorry, AJ. I was just observing the life here in Canterlot. It's very peaceful. Everyone seems to be very happy and relaxed. It's actually a little unsettling for me in a few odd ways."
"... Karn, it's peaceful and you find that unsettlin'?"
"I do indeed," he replied, taking another large bite of his vegetable burger and savoring once more the wonderful combination of flavors that it offered.
It was Rarity's turn to be confused. "My dear, why would something so peaceful be causing you to be unsettled? This is a wonderful city!"
"I know, my lady! It's difficult to explain, but I shall try to reach for some strange metaphor to make myself ... well, try to make myself understood. Imagine that you are standing on a large stage. The weather is fantastic, the ponies that have turned up to see you are all very happy and offering you smiles. Yet, under your hooves is a trap door. You don't know where that trapdoor leads, you don't know who controls it and you don't know when or if it will open. It is there, under you, and knowing that it is there leads your mind towards a heightened level of vigilance. That's what I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm sorry, my lady - am I making any sense at all?"
"Karn, you're suffering from hyper vigilance as a result of your combat trauma," stated Twilight, matter-of-factly.
He looked towards her. "Precisely, Twilight. I am hoping that in the course of time and with the right care, that it will be an aspect of my psyche I can finally put to rest," he concurred. Under the table he felt Fluttershy rest her hoof on his right thigh. He looked down at her to see her smiling sweetly up at him. He flashed her a very broad smile. "I do hope you know what you're getting yourself into here, Fluttershy! I can be an unpleasant patient at times!"
"Karn, I warned you that I am stubborn. If you do misbehave I will no other choice but to use the stare!"
There were gasps from around the table. Karn was momentarily disconcerted. "The ... stare ... Fluttershy?"
"Oh Karn, you don't want to be in the situation where she gives you the stare! I could swear I've seen trees uproot and move when she does that!" exclaimed Spike to a chorus of light hearted chuckles from around the table.
"Then are many sides to you of which I am presently unaware and look forward to learning about! Just promise me that should you have to employ this famous stare of yours, that its aftereffects will not be permanent?"
"Well," she giggled. "It will depend on what mischief you've been up to, Karn. I promise though, that you will not have the stare exercised upon you unless you truly deserve it!"
His smile remained broad and genuine. Holding the hoof she rested on his right thigh with one hand and cupping her face with his other, he spoke softly. "Fluttershy, you have my permission to use your stare and whatever other means of correction you have at your disposal - for presently, I am yours!"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, Spike rested an elbow on the side of his chair and smirked and Pinkie managed a giggle. Rarity and Twilight simply blushed and concentrated once more on their lunch. Applejack looked down at hers, but there was no smile.
Kissing Fluttershy gently on her lips, Karn turned back to the delightful meal he'd been served, enjoying the last few bites.
It was almost time for them to make their way back to the train station.
The walk through the town and into the train station itself proved uneventful. Given that there hadn't been a great deal of time to see many of the famous sites of the city, Karn vowed that he would have to return another day - preferably with Twilight, in order to observe more of the culture and to learn more about the system of Government here. He was particularly keen to learn of its history.
The friendship express having arrived in the station, the mane six, plus Spike and himself made their way aboard. Once more they were lucky enough to be in possession of a carriage entirely to themselves. This was something Karn once again found himself bemused by.
"Twilight ... this is my second trip aboard the Friendship Express and once more the train is largely deserted. Is there something happening that I haven't taken into account here?"
"No, Karn. It's just that there aren't any major events happening in Canterlot presently."
"So ... it's nothing I've done and no news of my episodes have preceded me here causing any panic or fear on the part or the population?"
Twilight seemed genuinely surprised that he would say such a thing. "Karn, no, of course not! You are fascinating on the grounds of your being a human but your flashbacks and the sources of them being your traumatic experiences? None of those have any bearing on how they see you. Your attacks have made a few ponies back in Ponyville a little nervous but since thus far nopony has been hurt, you've been very much accepted."
He felt a little more at ease, taking a window seat once more aboard the carriage. Twilight took the seat in the cabin opposite him, as she had done before on their trip up to the capital, with Spike and Rarity sitting next to her. Fluttershy of course snuggled directly up to his left as close as she could get, leaving more than enough room for Applejack to sit next to her. That cabin filled, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie took up seats in the cabin to the opposite side of the carriage.
Karn gently ran his left hand around Fluttershy, delicately running his fingers through her mane and up to her crest. She closed her eyes and rested her head against him, moaning softly under her breath as he scratched behind her ears. He observed the look of ecstasy upon her face as he did so. Clearly this was a 'sweet spot' of hers. He made it a point to remember the erogenous aspect of this action should the occasion arise someday to put it to further use.
"Well, Karn, on the whole what did you think of Canterlot?"
"A most impressive city, Twilight. Royal certainly. Clean, friendly, peaceful, ordered and populated with ponies who are quite clearly very comfortable with their rulers and their way of life."
"So, you don't mind all of the waste, then?" she giggled.
"No, Twilight. One must consider that as this is a different culture, a different universe. The history of your nation is utterly at odds with my own. Therefore the use of materials for artistic but non-practical purposes is just one facet that is different from the world I am from. Obviously, artistic pursuits and grand architecture manifest themselves here as a source of enjoyment and to beautify what is already a wonderful city," he pointed out. Continuing to gently scratch Fluttershy behind her ear, he turned to look out the window to the station platform. "I need to remind myself, Twilight, that I am not in Alsovia anymore," he said, somewhat rhetorically. His smile slid from his face slowly and he let his gaze flow in a zen-like manner across the sites outside the carriage.
Twilight observed the slight change in his demeanor and felt a little sorry for him. It must be hard to come from one universe to another, to be torn from one existence to another, where the changes are so intense and the cultural differences a source of intense pain at times.
"Karn ... are you okay?" she asked gently.
He turned back to face her, somewhat surprised. "Why, yes, Twilight! I mean I'm excited to now be considered a citizen of Equestria and I'm happy to feel as if I am starting on a new path here, a new chapter in my life," he reported. His gaze returned slowly back to the view out his window as the tone of his voice became more serious. "It's just that there's a long way to go. I have over two hundred cycles' worth of training and concerns in another universe that I need to overcome."
"You'll need to start saying 'years' instead of 'cycles', too," she interrupted.
"Hah! Exactly," he guffawed whilst his gaze remained focused out the window. "Your understanding and patience are a great comfort to me," he said sadly, before turning back suddenly to face her. "Even if I am essentially little more than a subject of study to you!" he exclaimed, with a hint of over dramatic melancholy. Twilight, naturally, flashed him 'the look' again, to which he broke into a smile and chuckled. "Oh God, Twilight. Do you spend time every morning practicing that look of yours in the mirror in order to perfect it?"
"Ah reckon she does, Karn! She's certainly a master at it!" agreed Applejack.
"He has a point, my dear," smiled Rarity. "It is indeed an expression which you seem to be most proficient at."
Even Twilight herself had to give in this time, shaking her head and smiling. "No, Karn. It's a habit I seem to have picked up from you, following your arrival! I am suggesting instead that it's some contagion on your part!"
The train had left Canterlot precisely on schedule. This attention to detail and the ability to follow timetables to the second was just another of those tiny aspects of the Equestrian culture that intrigued Karn. He was well adapted to working by timetables since of course such was necessary in warfare - but it fascinated him to observe the way the ponies here were generally so punctual and were so more as a matter of consideration and efficiency rather than as a necessity to avoid massive loss of life.
The chatter between the ponies on the carriage was largely idle. Fluttershy had by now taken to sitting in his lap and she rested her head back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. This caused a good deal of eye rolling on the part of the others but at this stage Karn really didn't mind. He watched the countryside pass by out the window while his chin rested on Fluttershy's crest. It made him think a little of home.
It was Twilight who quite naturally caught this nostalgic expression on his face. Her inquisitiveness got the better of her. "Karn, do you mind me asking what's on your mind?"
He said nothing for a moment; just continued to watch the trees and the green fields roll past as their trip continued. "I was remembering my home, Twilight."
"I'm sorry. I hope I didn't upset you by asking? I was just curious, I never- "
"It's fine, Twilight," he chortled. "I know what you're like about observing me. I imagine you must have several volumes of material there ready for submission? Do you require a peer review or do you have to undergo a viva voce in order to obtain your Doctorate in ... well. Doctorate in broken humans? I doubt there's going to be a good deal of work out there for you with such a qualification, Twilight. There presently appears to be a market consisting of one."
She cocked her head sideways again. "Karn ... honestly I don't know what to think of you sometimes. You're looking sadly out the window of the train and then the next minute you're having fun at my expensive over my desire to study you."
He gave her a genuine, warm smile. "I know, Twilight, and I'm sorry. It helps to elevate the mood a little sometimes," he said as he softly caressed the side of Fluttershy's cheek with his thumb. He turned back to the window. "Most of my home country of Alsovia looked a lot like this, actually. It was green, hilly, covered in trees. We used to hike and camp through them for days. Alsovia was known as being quite a wet place. The rain was never tropical but the light misty sprinkling was enough to make everything slightly damp," he said. He paused for another moment as memories of his childhood spent playing 'war' in between the trees crept into his mind. "The soil of our country was rich and fertile. Most clans grew crops for trade or for food. As children, we were expected to be out helping with the planting and the harvest, more or less as soon as we could walk. I can remember spending a day harvesting grapes with my father. We would have a break occasionally and we could play chess."
"Chess. You've mentioned that before."
"Yes, it was a very popular game in Alsovia! I must make a board and some pieces and show you how to play," he suggested. Once more his vision turned back to the window. "Historically, Alsovia was essentially just a very large collection of clans, Twilight. Clan fought clan, sometimes over some perceived insult, sometimes over land or trade disputes. Eventually, we had the chaos army of the Republican Guard try to wipe out every clan wholesale in a war of extermination. This was the action that galvanized the clans to fight together. For the first time, they fought as one."
"So you gathered together to fend off an invading army?"
"We certainly did! Not in my lifetime, of course, many cycles ago now. Many years, rather. The result was a great success, Twilight," he said, with a certain amount of discomfort in his voice. "The chaos Republican army that attacked the clans ... well, they were motivated by ethnic cleansing. They murdered any of the clans people they could find. Men, women, children, the elderly. Once the clans gathered together and fought back it was decided that any member of the chaos Republican Guard would not be taken as a prisoner. They were automatically to be treated as 'persona non grata', as it were."
"... Karn ... what are you saying? That ... that they ..."
"When the Republican Guard adepts retreated, it was a rout. The combined clans were able to encircle about thirty thousand of them," he reported. "They were cut off from retreat and pinned there while their ... 'friends' ... were rather savagely chased away," he said, unable to hide the disgust in this tone. He frowned and glared back out the window. "They executed all of them, Twilight."
There was yet another horrified gasp from the ponies in the cabin.
"You ... you mean they killed all thirty thousand of them?"
"Yes, Applejack. No quarter was given. After the clans had witnessed the ethnic cleansing the powers of chaos had brought to bear it was universally accepted that any chaos Republican Guardsmen would be summarily executed. The enemy did attempt to offer terms of surrender. Their commander at the time raised a white flag above their enclave. The response from the clans was to take the wedding rings, shoes, the clothes from the victims that were riddled with bullet holes and they air dropped those onto what was left of the Republican Guard. They got the message and their white flag was hastily taken back down. We will take no Republican Guard prisoners. It is a rule that is followed in Alsovia to this day," he said sadly. "I will say this, though - it proved rather effective. In one case not so long ago a unit of chaos Republican Guards actually mutinied rather than attack a unit of the first Alsovian army."
"It sounds like Alsovia is essentially just a nation that prepares for war?" quizzed Twilight seriously.
"Twilight, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. The positive thing to come out of that war was that it welded the clans together. They were determined that such a threat to them would never happen again. Consequently, you have Alsovia! It is still a collection of clans but there is a minimalist council of elders and chieftains who help keep order."
"That's all? But I would have thought your country would've needed a larger government, given the size and the variety of these clans you speak of?"
"Alsovians aren't like that, Twilight. We tend to be austere, quiet and practical and self sufficient at a clan level. As I've mentioned before, the passing of the cup around the chiefs at a gathering of clans is an old custom. No business or discussions of any kind happen until each chieftain present has drunk from the cup. It's a solemn, almost religious ceremony. To refuse to drink from the shared cup is the most astonishing insult that you could deliver to an Alsovian chieftain. Unlike a lot of other societies, with this horticulture-centrism we were also unique in the sense that there's almost no distinction of position by gender. Everyone has a practical use. The gender of the chieftain is irrelevant. Everyone works towards the security of the clan and thereby the nation. To that end, communities look after each other without expectation of reward," he continued. "We're a society that places a great deal of importance on honor, being upright and willing to help. Unless you are proscribed in my country, Twilight, you could trek from one side of it to the other and never have to fear for your life or your well being."
"That sounds wonderful!"
"Alsovia is a drizzly, cold, mountainous country, Twilight. Trekking it isn't for the feint hearted."
"What would happen if I entered Alsovia as a 'proscribed' person?" she asked, out of curiosity.
"Then it would be perfectly legal for you to be killed on sight," responded Karn.
"Oh! Hmmm. Well ... that's ... very interesting." she said whilst fidgeting a little.
Karn gently stroked Fluttershy's mane while he looked out the window of the carriage again. "Military training starts at about the age of eight. Military history is a part of the standard school curriculum. As both of my parents were adepts, I was screened for that ability at a very young age. Once it was known I was an adept then my military training intensified. Regular school would begin at eight o'clock in the morning and end four o'clock in the afternoon. That would give me four hours of military and adeptic training before heading home for supper and bed at eight."
"Karn ... you must have been exhausted."
He managed a slight shrug. "Well, I guess I was. I was young at the time and it was the only life I'd known," he responded. He offered her a smile yet there was a suggestion of sadness there. "Alsovians are known for their military prowess and we're generally respected by the elements of chaos."
The others in the carriage all looked up at him in horror. "Well ... I don't mean the equivalent of the 'elements of harmony' that you have all hinted at ... I meant elements as in military formations and the like," he explained. All six of them visibly relaxed. He wondered what it was about chaos that seemed to upset them so much? Surely they'd had no direct experience with chaos here? "At any rate, out of a largely farming nation of many clans, governed by a small council, we enjoy a very low crime rate and a great degree of solidarity. I'd always put that down to our being somewhat isolated on our planet. We are surrounded on all sides by nations that either don't trust us or are so busy arguing amongst themselves that we're ... well. Comparatively speaking, an island of calm."
"Karn, if Equestria was a nation that shared a border with your Alsovia, do you think we'd get along?" asked Twilight.
It was an interesting question. His hand once more found that sweet spot that Fluttershy had behind her ear. He continued to observe the beautiful countryside, lit up as it was by a magnificent full moon as it passed by the window. He tried to play out a scenario in his mind where the two great nations would be nextdoor neighbors. "I'm not sure, Twilight. I suspect we would be at peace with each other and enjoy a good deal of trade. In time, should such a state of affairs have persisted, our nations may even have become allies. I think we would have a respect for you but certainly not trust, or at least not immediately. The only other nation that Alsovia can honestly be said to trust is Jasonia which is an Imperial nation to our northern border. They came to our aid during the chaos invasion, supplying arms and medical help where needed. Since that day we have offered a detachment from the third Alsovian army to act as a personal bodyguard for their emperor. I have a feeling the same thing would eventually have come to pass with Equestria. Your princesses are practical and logical yet generous and respectful. There is no ... and I do apologize for the use of this term, Twilight ... but when one speaks with them there's no 'bullshit' involved. Alsovians would like that. To answer your hypothetical question, I suspect my nation and yours would indeed be good friends though it would take us a while to learn to trust you."
Twilight's scribbling in the notebook continued at a pace that - while breathtaking - was a little frightening. The sheer intensity of her scrawling implied tremendous importance on his recent observations. He suddenly felt unnerved about being observed thus.
"Twilight, slow down with your quill! You're likely to set it on fire if you write any more furiously."
Oblivious to his observation, she finished her note taking and looked back up at him. The look on her face suggested she'd missed some detail and wanted it expounded upon. Karn was well aware of that look by now and understood its significance. 'Oh shit' he thought to himself.
"Karn ... what was that about the first and third Alsovian armies?"
"Ah. Well, we arrange our military into three 'armies', Twilight. They are not of equal size. The first army forms the bulk of our strike force. Think of that as being the regular army. The second army group is formed of elite units. The third Alsovian army is essentially the elite of the elite. The third is smaller than the other two and generally carries out official guard duties as well as offensive roles against chaos, usually with very specific strikes. Guards for the local council as well as honorary guard units stationed in Jasonia are all formed from units of the third army. When such soldiers retire they are granted an opportunity to become what we call Lictors."
"... Lictors?" quizzed Twilight, intrigued.
"These are tough people who are used to seeing action. They are essentially keepers of the peace. There's always several of them present when the council meets."
"Hey, Clubbster! What was that about Jasonia ? What kind of a name for a country is that?" quipped Rainbow Dash.
He flashed her a pitying glance. "Because that's the name of its emperor, Dashie. The Emperor Jason. Detachments of the finest troops we have from the third army have been assigned to guard the Emperors for many centuries now. Actually that particular nation is an odd one!" he exclaimed, turning his attention back to Twilight. "Prepare your quill, oh noble inquisitor! You will enjoy this piece of geopolitical information! That nation changes its name based on the name of the current emperor ruling it!"
True to form, the quill in Twilight's magical grasp sped across the page of her notebook. He noted that when she was this intrigued or absorbed in a subject, she had a strange yet almost cute mannerism which involved her sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth. He wondered if any of her tutors or friends had ever noticed this habit or whether they had but just not mentioned it.
"Don't that make it mighty hard ta interact with them?" asked Applejack.
"Incredibly enough, no it doesn't. We always refer to it as 'The Empire'. The royalty of that nation isn't hereditary - the ruling monarch has absolute power and chooses their successor. That can be a relative or a complete stranger. Oddly enough it's a system that's worked quite well. They always seem to end up with a ruler who attains the throne through merit rather than genetics. Twilight, please slow down with the writing! You're going to end up cutting a hole in the paper! I'm not going away, princess, you can ask me around to your library for in-depth analysis at any time!" he laughed.
Twilight, having being so engrossed in her anthropological field notes, hadn't heard his remark. He wondered whether her mind had some kind of answering machine that recorded these statements for playback once her mind was finished grappling with whatever it was she was currently dealing with? Time would tell, he supposed. He looked down to observe Fluttershy, her head resting gently on his chest, her eyes closed and a broad smile crossing her face. His own smile broadening, he turned back to the vision of peace that proceeded past the carriage window. His mind drifted back to his younger days in Alsovia.
"So ah gather y'all played 'war' like that around your home then? A lot of younger colts will do that in Equestria, too," observed Applejack.
Karn sighed at the trees and farms passing by as their return to Ponyville continued its seemingly inexorable progress. "That was what we'd do in most of our spare time. My father was keen for me to study as well, so I'd take a break from my friends sometimes to hit the books. War games for the children in our village were a little at odds with what you'd be used to seeing. By the age of ten, we were already well studied in terms of basic tactics and strategy, so our war games were a lot more organized. We used semi-automatic air rifles as well, so if you did get "shot" it would indeed leave various types of injuries. The only safety we ever followed was eye protection. So returning home after playing with your friends often involved using Kelly forceps to remove small lead pellets out of your skin," he laughed. The ponies in the carriage gritted their teeth and stared at him with eyes wide in shock. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to concern you. It's just that ... well, that's the way life was. We had to defend our entire border and we were forever engaged in a war against chaos. If you couldn't fight, you farmed and built. That's what you did. Everyone had a practical task to concentrate on and over the centuries it lead to the nation becoming focused and self sufficient. Whilst learning and education also had a high priority, in my own family we took that much further which is why my parents had such a large library."
"Sounds like Twilight would've got on very well with your father, my dear!" exclaimed Rarity.
He looked over to her and offered her a surprised smile. "You know, I think she actually would have. Certainly he would have enjoyed discussing science and history with her. My father was insistent that I graduate from school with excellent marks and encouraged me to continue teaching myself once my schooling was complete, 'exercise the mind and the body, my boy. A strong body leads you to honorable feats and hard work; whilst leading that body with an intelligent mind lends efficiency to application!'"
Fluttershy looked up at Karn. "He sounds very philosophical, Karn!"
Karn lowered his face to meet hers. "He was certainly that, Fluttershy," he acknowledged, placing his hand on her right cheek and gently smoothing his thumb along the side of her face gently once more. "He wasn't starry eyed, though. Wrong him or threaten him or his clan, and you would have met with the other side of him."
"Didn't you do anything for fun, Karn?? There's more to life besides just work!" exclaimed Pinkie.
"Well, there was always humor, Pinkie," he said, turning towards her and grinning. "We didn't have a lot of time for parties and we certainly didn't have the prowess of the greatest party planner in all of recorded history at our disposal!" Pinkie managed an even larger grin at his somewhat clumsy compliment. "We did have gatherings and such but they were mostly just friendly catch ups. The clan would share a meal and the Alsovian Whisky would come out. There would be dancing, which of course I avoided. There would be laughter and singing. Life was harsh but where life is hard and simple it’s often humor and finding yourself sharing those hardships that makes life a lot more bearable. It was a valuable lesson that I took with me into combat. You grow attached to the soldiers in your unit- ... ", he said, stopping very suddenly. The smile slid from his face and his heretofore happy expression was replaced by one of pain. He turned back suddenly to look out the window, avoiding their gaze. The ponies all exchanged sad, concerned glances with each other before looking at the now silent Karn, who was looking sadly - almost longingly - out the carriage window. "You stop becoming attached to your friends, Twilight."
"... You mean ... the soldiers you served with?"
The silence continued. He sat there with his vision fixed out the window. "After the first ten years or so you become so tired of making new friends only to see them get killed. You become ... well, immune to making friends. You get so sick of seeing them die. I remained friends with some of the adepts I trained and was posted with. But I avoided becoming anything more than an acquaintance with anyone else who turned up," he explained. The sad stare out the window continued but his eyes were no longer focused on the countryside. He was seeing other things. Things he didn't want to see again. Things he wanted to bury and forget about.
"Karn? ... Are you okay?" asked Fluttershy quietly.
"There was this young adept of about twenty one cycles. He'd only just joined our platoon and I could see he was nervous. He had this anxious disposition that made me wonder why on earth they'd placed him with a front line unit for his baptism of fire. In our first engagement, he actually handled himself very well. I'd made it a point to keep a close eye on him seeing as he was so new and this particular fire-fight was a vicious one. After we stormed through an enemy trench line, a chaos adept just managed to bring an energy weapon to bare, slicing almost clear through his abdomen. The burning heat off the blade didn't quite cauterize the wound, leaving his abdominal aorta cut. Not clear through but damaged enough for him to live on for a short while," he said flatly. The silence in the carriage was almost absolute. "I held him in my arms as he started to lose touch with reality. He kept asking for his father, his mother, his sister. I helped him keep his head rested back since the wound had also left his bowels spread out over the front of his uniform. I will never forget the way he slowly turned to look at me with these astonishingly blue eyes. He looked straight at me in terror and whispered ... "
He stopped for a moment, his own eyes unseeing as he recalled the moment once more. A minute or so passed by as he collected himself.
"... he whispered 'why', and he was gone," he finished. The sad look became one of anger. He shifted his gaze to Twilight. "From that moment until now, Twilight, I've always thought that was a fucking good question."
Twilight's gaze was sad, but expressed a good deal of empathy. "Karn, I understand you're upset ... but you did ask me to remind you about your use of those words?"
Karn frowned a little. "You're right, of course. I'm sorry, Twilight. I've asked myself that question though, many, many times. I have yet to find a rational answer. Not even one I’d consider reasonable."
Fluttershy gently reached out a hoof and touched the side of his face. The soft, caring act was like a salve on his burning anger. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting go of the rage that had so suddenly built in him. "I'm sorry, Karn," she whispered.
He turned his gaze back down to her. "Are you sure you still want to deal with me like this, Fluttershy?"
"I'm certain of it," she whispered sweetly.
"Even though I'm broken and prone to recalling things that are unpleasant?"
"I insist on caring for you, Karn."
He ran his hand gently along the side of her face. "Even though I have flashbacks?"
She giggled a little. "Yes, my love, even though you have flashbacks!"
"What about the fact that I'm such a lousy cook? Surely that would be cause for concern?"
She smiled a little more. "I would be happy to accept that."
"What of my propensity to use profanity on occasion?"
"If you do, then I'm afraid I'll give you the stare."
"You also realize that I am an appallingly bad singer? Could you stand listening to someone whose singing voice sounds like two badgers having a cage fight on top of a tin roof?"
She giggled again. "I could always try to teach you to sing in tune. I did warn you that I'm stubborn!"
"You certainly did, " he said, having finally managed a smile once more. "Fluttershy, if you helped me feel any better than you already do, I would need a prescription to be able to be near you," he quipped.
Twilight seemed to have completed the appending of the new information into her journal. "I would love to keep asking you questions about your home, Karn, but it is getting late and you must be tired."
"Twilight, I think we're all pretty tired by now."
Offering her a weak smile, he felt the passage of the train over the joints in the rails.
Finding themselves alone in the cabin with at least a little privacy, Karn lay out on the bench on his back with his lower legs resting mid-calf over the armrest at the edge of the seat. He'd managed to locate a pillow to act as padding so at least the blood could still flow to his feet. Fluttershy lay herself on top of him, her head resting on his chest just beneath his chin. He gently snuggled his face into her crest, one hand gently smoothing her along her back between her wings, whilst he lovingly traced her cutie marks with the other. He was sure that he could never possibly get over the intoxicating feeling of being this close to her. Snuggling his face into her crest, he gently kissed her and smiled. Taking a certain degree of liberty, he gently slid his hand over her rear until he found her tail, gently folding his fingers around the base of it.
He kissed her once more. "Are you sure it doesn't bother you if I play with your tail like this, Fluttershy?"
She managed a quiet moan, being half asleep. "No, Karn, I don't mind. I love feeling your hands on me."
Even with his face gently buried in her crest, he broke into a mischievous smile. "You do realize you're just encouraging me to misbehave?"
She snuggled herself a little more firmly against his chest. "I trust you not to misbehave, Karn."
'A beautiful answer indeed' he thought to himself. He brought his left hand back up to her long, pink mane, slowly running his fingers along the back of her neck. With his fingers gently scratching behind her ear again, he released his gentle hold on her tail and rested his open hand gently on her rear as she twitched a little,
"Is my holding you like this too much, Fluttershy?" he whispered to her.
She leaned her head gently over and kissed his chest. "No, Karn. I was just ... well, surprised. I'm still not very used to being held by anypony ... well, anyone like this. It does feel wonderful though, thank you."
"So am I to take it that you are comfortable enough to sleep there?"
"Hmmm, I would love to sleep right here."
He slowly circled his hand around her rear, as he rested his other arm around her back, gently cuddling her against his chest. "Fluttershy ... I think I have to tell you something."
She opened her eyes a little nervously. "Is ... is everything okay?"
He learned in as close as he could to her ear before smiling broadly and whispering "Did you realize you have a very lovely backside?"
She buried her face into his chest, trying to stifle a laugh and to hide her blush. He watched her somewhat futile attempt with glee. "What? What's so funny? It so happens that you do!" he remonstrated quietly. She continued to laugh for a while, the heat from her cheeks plainly felt through his shirt. Finally she grew quiet again.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I just happen to love making you laugh like that," he apologized whilst gently kissing her crest.
"Thank you, karn."
"It's just that I happen to love your backside as well."
Her joyful outburst this time woke all of the others in the cabin.
After the surprised awakenings of the others and the following recriminations, the exhausted passengers once more settled back to sleep.
"Karn, as much as I love you, please promise me you won't say anything silly like that again? I don't want to make the others angry or have them being tired in the morning!"
"I promise, Fluttershy. I'm sorry, I just become a little inebriated when I'm here with you like this," he smiled, while once more smoothing his hand along her back. "Being near you does make me a little silly at times."
"Hmmmm," she moaned, rubbing her cheek on his chest. "I've started to notice that as well."
He could feel her muscles gently relaxing as she lay on top of him. This was no aspect of his ability to sense energy, even if that particular skill had become ever so slightly stronger lately. She was just so deeply relaxed and obviously very comfortable. "I'm sorry if I get carried away sometimes, Fluttershy. In fact, I should probably find you a suitable nickname."
"... a nickname?"
"Well, yes! Gigglepot? Snugglepot? Snugglebunny ?"
She managed to suppress a giggle once more by biting her lip and placed her hooves on his chest. She leaned up to look at him and managed a happy but somewhat firm whisper. "Karn, please! I don't want to wake everypony up again!"
He smiled lovingly at her. "I know. I'm sorry, Flutter Puddle," he whispered back, earning him a playful pat on his chest from Fluttershy. "Okay, okay. Just Fluttershy for now!"
She leaned close to his face, meeting his eyes. "Do you promise?"
"I promise."
They gently joined their lips together once more in a slow, passionate kiss before she snuggled against him once more, her head resting on his chest and just under his chin. Karn continued to stroke her back and tried to trace her cutie parks with his other hand once more. Gently nuzzling her crest, he kissed her again. "Goodnight, Fluttershy. Sweet dreams."
"Thank you, Karn. I hope you can get some rest as well."
The warmth and sense of well being that flowed through him helped him slide off into a deep sleep quite quickly with a contented smile on his face.
He found himself faced with an old battlefield. The field was pock marked by craters of various sizes, broken wire, remnants of machinery, broken weapons and containers of supplies long since emptied and abandoned. The thing that struck him was the absence of decay. There were no bodies, no skeletal remains, no ragged and torn uniforms holding cadavers together ... it was eerily quiet. It was if the entire landscape to the four corners of the land had once been the scene of yet another bloodbath, but that the organic detritus of that battle had been scourged away.
Karn found himself momentarily surprised. The field of battle wasn't one that he could especially remember. It was very much like any of the slaughterhouses he'd somehow survived over the centuries. Wordlessly, he scanned the muddy, desolate wasteland and hoped for some kind of visual cue as to where he was within this dream. It appeared he was very much the only human - dead or alive - within the confines of this field. Why had his mind brought him here? He'd fallen asleep with Fluttershy resting so agreeably atop him.
A commanding, familiar and yet concerned voice behind him seized his attention. He spun immediately on his feet, to be met face to face with Princess Luna.
"Princess! Wha-"
"We thought it would be wise to see for ourselves what it is that you have seen before you came to Equestria," she started simply, her eyes meeting his.
"... Well ... I would assume you're not impressed, Princess."
She looked up from him with a flat analytical gaze, as she likewise scanned the horizon. "I noted that you had memories of places like these, albeit with a great deal of horror spread across them. I have brought you here in your dream without the horrors that had haunted you previously. I thought being with you here would help make your recollections of your former life a little easier for you to reach out to," she declared.
Karn found himself speechless. He stared blankly at Princess Luna, who met him with an unreadable stare of her own. He slowly turned, walked around the edge of a crater to find an upturned rocket crate. Seating himself on one end of it, he rested his forearms on his knees and just stared out across the battle ground. He'd never had the chance in his former life to observe a field such as this, with all its churned up, shell-cratered rubble. The fact that is was so quiet and so peaceful was something else that lent the atmosphere a very alien feel. The only times he'd seen a field such as this, it brought with it a chorus of screams, aircraft ferrying wounded to safety, death rattles and men blown into all kinds of strange and terrifying shapes. Some hanging lifelessly over razor wire, others blown quite in half, still others roaming around still alive but completely out of their minds.
Princess Luna made her way around to where he was seated.
"Karn, is this what your kind wrought on your own worlds?"
His gaze remained fixed straight ahead. Guilt, sorrow, remorse and disgust welled up in him. "I am afraid it was, Princess."
They were both silent for a moment. "I can see that you are not proud of what your people managed to ... achieve here."
"Princess ... I was fighting in places like these for so long that at the end I could no longer remember for what or why we were fighting," he muttered angrily. "We would turn fields into unending seas of butchery and by the end I could no longer understand why. I no longer fought for any cause beyond making sure my men were taken care of. I tried where I could to make sure their burial markers were well recorded so that their remains could be repatriated for ... " he began, stopping.
Luna looked passively down towards Karn, without having so much as blinked. "You wanted their remains repatriated so that their relatives would know of their final resting places."
Karn remained unmoved, staring across the ground that resembled little more than the surface of some moon orbiting one of the lower levels of hell. "So many men were buried out in these fields and subsequent bombardments or assaults would obliterate any record of where they were buried. I was determined never to allow that to happen to those under my watch."
"Karn, you seem to have an intense hatred for this warlike aspect of your species. Yet you kept fighting until you arrived in Equestria."
"I had not quite reached the point where I desired to die, Princess."
"I do not understand?"
"I could either continue to fight and face death in battle. Or I could refuse to fight and face being beheaded for what they would loosely term cowardice," he pointed out. "The third way out was insanity."
"You would have considered lunacy a way out?"
"Once one faces enough trauma, your mind becomes utterly destroyed. My own mind already shows the subtle cracks in my sanity hinting at the possibility of a break with reality. If I had not left when I did, I am sure that I would have become just another foaming lunatic under permanent care for the rest of my life," he said, his voice utterly devoid of any kind of doubt. "I have watched men who have finally cracked, Luna. Sometimes they would piss and shit themselves and just wander aimlessly back and forth across no man's land. They would be laughing. Just ... quite completely out of their minds. I'd seen this so many times that I hoped a sniper, an artillery shell or even disease would do for me before I reached that point."
His observations hung in the air of this cinematic show within his mind.
"Karn, I can see from your remorse and your regret that the part of your mind grounded in reality is of no threat to any pony now living in our realm. I must insist that you remain as open as you can with Twilight especially. It will take you time to mend. You have a caring soul, no matter what horrors you have committed. Celestia and I would like to see you more often, so as to follow your progress. For not only do we see you as a potential friend, we see you as someone in search of answers. Given that you have a romantic attachment to one of our elements of harmony - Fluttershy, kindness herself - I think you would agree that our keeping such a close watch over you is ... prudent?"
Karn nodded slowly before finally turning to gaze up at Princess Luna, the look on her face all seriousness. "I could not agree more, Princess."
"You have a good heart, Karn, and a kind soul. These things are at odds with your role as a warrior. The two have served to break you," she observed before looking back up at the war torn landscape. "What we can do, we will do."
With that, she vanished and Karn found himself quite suddenly at the edge of a wonderfully crystal blue lake. The air was fresh and the sky blue and behind him a field of beautiful wildflowers covered the ground.
He suddenly bolted awake. His eyes were wide and he panted, wondering what on earth had just occurred. His momentarily unseeing eyes were met with the concern of Fluttershy, who had been awake for some time resting on him under their blanket.
"Oh my goodness! Karn? Are you okay? What happened?"
He allowed his breathing to slow a little to calm himself before slowly glancing around the cabin, as he became once more aware of where he was. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I just had a very unusual dream."
"Are you having those horrible nightmares again?" she asked nervously.
"No, nothing like that thank goodness! I was just ... I was in a former battlefield but it was deserted and peaceful. It was just a lot of torn up earth and the usual refuse of war ... the odd thing was that Princess Luna was there."
"She was?!?" asked Fluttershy, quite surprised.
"She asked me a few questions about what kind of world I'd left, specifically in relation to war. She ... seemed to be understanding, now that I think about it. She didn't really seem to show any kind of emotion. She wanted to make sure that I kept in touch with Twilight about my progress," he continued. "In fact she also made it a point to tell me to be careful around you, what with you being one of these elements of Harmony," he smiled. Gently wrapping his arms around her, he drew her to him and kissed her gently. "Maybe we can exchange war stories?"
As the Friendship Express continued on towards Ponyville, there was a good deal of sorting out to do and tidying up. Rarity had naturally commenced a great fuss as to which of the many fine garments she'd brought along should be worn for disembarking - one that would befit her return from the metropolis of Canterlot.
Rainbow Dash found the entire concept just too much. "Rarity, I'm pretty sure the platform is going to be largely deserted at this point, and in any case who is going to care what you're wearing? They already know you're on your way back from Canterlot!"
"Ugh! That is simply not the point, my dear! Being suitably dressed for my return is a matter of principle!"
Rainbow Dash just rolled her eyes. Her packing had taken next to no time at all and she sat on one of the carriage seats. One hoof lounged casually over the back of the chair.
Karn had been absent mindedly watching the familiar town of Ponyville roll into view through the window. Feeling refreshed after what had been an admittedly unusual yet deep sleep, he began to test his abilities to sense energy once more. He was still astonished to discover that he could just barely sense the flow of bio-electricity that flowed through Twilight's muscles. The sensation was weak but if he concentrated enough he could still sense it. It was almost like observing a slow moving trail of ants at some considerable distance. He could see the movement but only if he concentrated hard enough.
As he was doing so, Twilight used her magic and lifted her case from its resting place above the carriage chairs whilst getting ready to disembark.
Karn suddenly found himself utterly aware of every movement of energy within her. It was as if someone had turned on an arc light. He threw himself back into his chair in complete surprise, utterly awestruck. He was now able to sense every inward electrical pulse of her body from the pathways of her heart to those powering her muscles.
Noticing his look of sudden surprise, Twilight ceased her magical hold on her case and rushed over to him. Having released her magic, his astonishingly vivid sense of her body's energy vanished just as suddenly.
"Karn? What's wrong? Are you having flashbacks again?" she pleaded.
He just stared wide-eyed at her, his mouth open but unable to say anything for a good minute or so before he slowly got ahold of himself. He carefully made eye contact with Twilight.
"Twilight ... what were you just doing?"
"I was getting my bag down, ready to disembark from the train! What's that got to do with what just happened to you?"
"Twilight, I'd been sitting here just trying to reach out and sense energy in my surroundings. I've gotten ever so slightly stronger at that. but not to a degree that made it worth mentioning or researching further. I just assumed that being in a more relaxed environment was helping me to focus. Was there anything else you did just now, whilst reaching for your bag?"
"No, Karn, I was just reaching for it with magic t-..."
"With magic?" he asked suddenly.
"Well, yes, it's a little easier than trying to reach up for it with my mouth, so I- ..."
"Twilight ... would you mind trying a very brief, simple experiment with me just now?"
"Well ... I suppose so? What kind of experiment are you talking about?"
Karn placed a pack of playing cards onto the chair opposite him. "Now, I'm sitting here. I am not actively reaching out to sense energy of any kind. Can you levitate the deck of cards for me?"
"That's ... a little confusing, but okay," she obliged. Her horn glowed and the deck levitated a foot or so above the chair, before she set it down again.
"Okay, so that time I felt nothing unusual at all. This time, I want you to try it again only I am going to try to reach out and sense energy within my surroundings and within you in particular. Ready?"
She turned back towards the chair, her horn glowed once more. Before the deck of cards had even begun to levitate, Karn nearly leapt out of his chair. "Gah, shit almighty! " he cursed.
Releasing the cards and dropping them immediately, Twilight crossed to him and rested her hooves on his shoulders. "What was it? What just happened?"
He pursed his lips and blew out a very long breath. "It seems, princess, that if I am reaching out in any way to sense energy and whomever I am sensing begins to use magic ... it's like every light bulb in the world being turned on. With you sitting there, I can make out the electrical flows around you, but only weakly. As soon as you reach for magic, every single vibration of energy within you becomes blinding to my senses. But, as I say this only appears to happen if you are reaching for magic and only if I am actively trying to sense energy in any form."
There were confused looks from the others in the cabin. Twilight, though, grasped the magnitude of this discovery.
"Karn. once we are back in Ponyville and you get settled with Fluttershy, you must return to my lab! Whatever this is, it's clearly very significant!"
Karn nodded up at her. "Then we are of the same mind, Twilight. Whatever is going on here, I'm not entirely sure that I trust it."
Fluttershy hugged him firmly.
Outside Ponyville, along the dirt track leading to the Everfree Forest, a solitary patch of ground gave one incredibly brief, very tiny and yet very bright spark. At subatomic levels way beyond the comprehension of any living things, some strings forming the very basis of matter began to vibrate in subtle and unusual ways.
Author's Note
As someone who has moved from a small town in Australia to a very large town in the USA (Houston, Texas specially), I was attempting to add a few observations here that have occurred to me on my learning to adapt. There are always large cultural and societal differences - large things that are obvious to you. Driving on the opposite side of the road, the light switches being the other way around, the toilets working differently, the accents and such.
Then there are the slightly less obvious things. The advertising of tobacco products (illegal in Australia), tobacco products being in colored packages (illegal in Australia) and in full view when you walk into the store (also illegal in Australia). Beer is sold at service stations, regular gun shows, the right to bear arms, the curious collection of shows on the TV, AC voltage being 120V at 60Hz instead of 240V at 50Hz.
Then one finds the thousand and one tiny little things. Subtle differences with trees, a different taste in pop music, the way people here will greet me by calling me "Sir" which is something that would never happen back home.
I was trying to explore these cultural aspects of Karn's having been torn from his own world into this one. It's also a good opportunity to help fill in some story gaps - notably the kind of country he came from, and the types of people he associated with.
POST EDIT 2017-09-05: Removed some lovey-dovey cruft and fixed numerous spelling and grammatical errors.
Anxiety and the fugitive mind.
"The parents gave you this body and fostered the intelligence and love that are embedded in it; so, gratitude is their due."
― Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
The Friendship Express slowly pulled its way into the station at Ponyville. Karn had by now recovered enough to be a little more lucid. Following the simple experiment with Twilight earlier, he'd been left barely able to do a great deal more beyond mumbling profanity under his breath. It had never dawned on him until this moment to attempt to sense energy in any of the ponies directly when they had been utilizing magic. The sensation he'd discovered while doing caused a kind of pain akin to what he imagined staring into an arc welder would've exhibited. It had been physically painful, although neither he nor Twilight could determine why that should be the case. Magic wasn't energy in the traditional sense - at least in so far as an adept would have known it - and yet the two were quite naturally intertwined somehow.
Disembarking from the train, Karn found himself a little unsteady on his feet. He'd become accustomed throughout the centuries to sensing energy sources, but even while doing so around primary master adepts, he had never been as utterly astonished as he had been with Twilight during that moment on the Friendship Express. Since apparently only a small effort and quantity of magic was required to levitate a simple deck of cards, the thought of what a significant 'spell' might have done to him was a thought that caused both he and Twilight quite a good deal of concern. It was utterly inconceivable that magic and energy could be in any way connected - but quite apparently they were.
Twilight had of course immediately become fascinated with this topic, latching onto it like an angry rottweiler in an academic gown. The pain he'd experienced was equivalent to what he suspected would be a stick of white phosphorous burning within his mind.
A proven hypothesis may not save his mind. At least if he inadvertently attempted to sense energy from a unicorn and had the back of his head burnt off, he would have the consolation of his final thought being 'ah, that's what Twilight meant'.
Even while disembarking from the train, Twilight was assailing his bruised mind with all manner of questions, queries, theories, and hypotheses. His mind had still not forgiven him for his actions on the train. If anything, his subconscious was angrier at the way his therapist now beat it around with endless scientific chatter, when it presently had far more important matters to attend to - like grappling with self-inflicted pain, for example.
"It could be a connection somewhat like that of light, with offset electric and magnetic fields? Or possibly the use of magic emits energy of some kind as a byproduct of channeling?"
"Twilight, could we continue this conversation at some other time?"
"I insist on it, Karn! This discovery is significant! In fact, I would like you to come and see me today."
"That would be lovely. Perhaps when my cerebral spinal fluid isn't running out my ears?" Karn said sarcastically. She glanced up at him in confusion. "It's just another figure of speech, Twilight. I need to hold ... I don't know, some manner of evening class to teach you about figures of speech. It may certainly ... " and he paused as his addled, angry mind decided to bite down harder on his diencephalon. Closing his eyes against the pain, he tried to continue with this train of thought, before it too ran screaming from its rails. " ... certainly, save all of us a lot of confusion."
Fluttershy followed him onto the platform, watching him with concern as he slowly took a seat on a bench and rested his head back against the wall of the station. His eyes remained closed as he gently reached out with his right hand until he found her. Finally, he was able to break into a smile. "Ahah!" he managed to whisper sweetly. "Found you, Flutter Puddle!"
"Karn, what on earth do you mean by Flutter Puddle?" asked Twilight, now almost as concerned as Fluttershy was.
"Nothing, Twilight. One is not losing the ability to speak; it's more of a nickname I was trying for her," he explained. "Rest assured; I have not sustained a brain injury quite that serious. Not yet, anyway," he reported, gently scratching Fluttershy behind her ear.
As much as she loved the sensation of his doing so, she was too concerned about the amount of pain he was feeling. She slowly climbed up onto the bench next to him, resting a hoof on his lap. "Karn, is there anything I can do to help you?"
Karn managed a sigh; his eyes still closed as his brain continued ignoring his pleas for forgiveness. "No, thank you, Puddle Cuddle. I think what I may have is a pretty substantial headache following that last experiment," he groaned. "You might look inside my designer made hessian sack there and see if you can find some of the pain tablets that the good doctor gave me? They should be inside a small container," he asked quietly. Fluttershy opened the bag and commenced a search for anything that might look like medication. "You might find it hidden in a jar with a label that says 'use in case of Twilight'" he moaned, although managing a weak smile of resignation. "Now, Twilight, I know you're giving me that look!"
"I think these are the ones you meant. Something called Fen-tan-ill?" said Fluttershy at last.
"Fentanyl. That's the very one, thank you, Snuggle Pie," he groaned once more. He'd not had to use anything like this in a while, but half a tablet would be the most he would need, and it would, in fact, be significant overkill. As he didn't have to be operating heavy machinery for a few hours - possibly several years - it seemed like the best treatment to handle this kind of acute, breakthrough pain.
Fluttershy managed a giggle. "How many nicknames do you think I need?"
"I have no idea, Smoochie McCuddle. I shall try several permutations until I can find one that fits. I'm sorry, Cutie Fruity."
"Cutie Fruity? My dear, what on earth is this nonsense?" requested Rarity, joining those now gathered around the bench on the platform.
"It's a figure of speech, I gather," reported Twilight.
"It's a nickname, Twilight," corrected Karn.
Rarity looked in confusion from the one to the other. "It's utter silliness, I would suggest! My dear, you don't look very well."
"My lady, it is safe to report that things don't look any better from this side of my eyelids, either."
"You need to lie down and rest, my dear."
"I would love nothing more, my lady, but as soon as the fentanyl begins to work its magic, I shall be about other tasks. I do appreciate your concern."
"Hey, Clubster , you're looking even worse than you were on the train!" added Rainbow Dash.
"Ah yes, Dashie. Rarity was pointing that out to me."
"Why is everyone standin' round here for?" chimed in Apple Jack.
"AJ, it's okay - it's just that the last experiment I tried with Twilight almost reduced my cerebrum to a liquid."
"You did what, now?"
"Karn, was that one a figure of speech?" asked Twilight.
"It was indeed! You are getting better at that, and you're giving me that look again, aren't you?" Karn asked Twilight, a wry smile on his face. "I can tell. The fact that you didn't answer me only serves to prove it."
Twilight shook her head and managed a sigh of her own. "Karn ... "
"I know, I know. You don't know what you'd do if I weren't here, right?" Karn asked, rhetorically. The silence continued. "Gawkify !" he exclaimed all of a sudden.
The ponies all seemed taken aback. Twilight was the first to ask the obvious question. "Karn is that one of those unpleasant ... "
"No! It's the name I shall give 'the look' that you often give me from now on. You have 'gawkified' me, or you are 'gawkifying' me. The word is a combination of 'gawk' and 'electrify,'" he explained. "You're doing it now, in fact - I can tell, even with my eyes closed."
"That's not funny, Karn!"
"How would you know? I've never gawkified you before? Who knows, you might like it."
"Ugh! I give up! Karn, as soon as you're feeling better, you do need to come to my lab. Whatever has been happening could end up being very serious."
"I'll be there as soon as I'm able to, Twilight. If you don't mind, I'd like to fix your door first. At least that would save you from further jokes related to its current state," he said. The other ponies except for Fluttershy began to make their way off the platform. "AJ? Do you mind if I ask you something for a moment? Nuzzle Poodle, I need to talk to AJ about my moving out of the hayloft at Sweet Apple Acres - do you mind if we have a minute or two to sort out the details? The medication is starting to work. I'm feeling a lot better, I promise," he said softly to Fluttershy - this time, with both eyes open.
"Oh - okay. Are you sure you're doing better?"
He broke into a broad smile and placed his hands softly on the sides of her face, drawing her to him and kissing her. The kiss was soft, loving and the gentle nature of their lips meeting lent sensuality to the emotion she was feeling. "I'm doing much better now, Fluttershy."
She smiled up at him. "You called me Fluttershy!"
"So I did," he laughed, gently running a hand over her mane. "I couldn't think of a more beautiful nickname than that one for the moment. I'll come up with others, though. You wait!"
Fluttershy climbed down from the bench and began following the others back towards Ponyville. He waited until they were out of earshot before he and Applejack could speak.
"AJ ... I guess you know what I wanted to ask you about."
"Karn, it's okay. Ah understand. Really."
He looked at her for a moment. "AJ, I don't know what to feel. I mean, you know how I feel about Fluttershy, but ... God, I don't want to hurt you."
"Karn, ah understand. You can't very well love both of us, can you," Applejack said, trying to hide the sadness in her tone and not really succeeding.
He looked into her eyes and managed a half-hearted smile. "Well, no. That would be unseemly," he said softly before he once more became serious. "I'm so sorry, AJ, I never wanted either of us to feel any pain like this over how we feel."
"Either of us?"
"AJ, I don't want you to be upset ... you're so wonderful, and you've been so generous with the way you've been helping me to recover, and ... I feel so guilty about just packing up and moving out this way. It feels ungrateful."
"I'll be fine ... "
"I know you're strong, AJ. I know that you can keep these kinds of feelings buried under your hat ... remember?" To his amazement, she even blushed a little. "It's knowing that you'll be hurt anyway and that there's nothing I can do about that. I'm so sorry - I never, ever wanted you to be hurt that way."
"Karn, it's not yer fault. These things... well, have a way of happenin' on their own. I should've told you how I felt about you sooner than ... well," she managed, as she tried to keep back her tears without giving any hint of how she was feeling. "I'll be fine, sugarcube. You just make sure that Fluttershy is happy - she adores you, I've never seen her like she is around you."
"I promise, AJ," he whispered, before gently hugging her. "Please promise me you'll take care of yourself? Whatever else happens, you've been an incredible source of support to me - and I'll never forget that. Truly, I owe you my life."
'Dang it, Karn, don't you make me cry here like this,' she thought to herself. "It was my pleasure, Karn. Anytime you need help with somethin', just shout, okay?"
"I plan to. Perhaps not shouting, but I'll certainly call for you. You know you can call me if you need any help too, right?"
"Yup, I'll always keep that in mind."
He slowly released Applejack from his arms. "Thank you again, AJ. Really - for everything."
"I'll be seein' you, sugarcube!"
"Not unless I see you first," he smiled, collecting his hessian carry-all and turning to walk after the other ponies who had by now exited the station.
Applejack watched him walking away. A lone tear escaped from one eye and rolled off her cheek, yet her face remained composed. "I'm glad it's Fluttershy who won you," she whispered to herself. "I don't think I could stand it being any other pony."
The group made a good time making their way back through the town as there didn't seem to be any particular hurry. Most of the ponies, except Fluttershy, still felt somewhat cramped from the train journey. Karn had slept remarkably well, aside from his rather strange encounter with Princess Luna, and Fluttershy of course had been using him as a mattress - so she was undoubtedly well rested. Even the low dose of fentanyl that he'd taken had helped with the pain he'd suffered during the early morning. Indeed the fresh air and the chance to get out and walk around a little had not done any of them any harm.
"Karn, I would like you to make your way back to the lab as soon as possible after you get yourself settled in with Fluttershy," ordered Twilight.
"I shall not dawdle, Twilight. Be assured that I shall present my body at your laboratory with my brain accompanying me, for further examination at your leisure," he said melodramatically. Quite clearly he enjoyed moments like these. Twilight turned to face him. "Gawkified, again!" he exclaimed, proudly. "That's twice in one morning, Twilight!"
"Hey, Karn! We should keep a score board!"
"We should, Spike! Perhaps on the front of the door that I shall need to repair? As I recall, scientific study was to commence after the door was fixed, am I correct?"
"No, Karn. We agreed to a general scientific discussion after the door was fixed. This is much more serious - this requires some further study and experimentation."
"Well, she has me there, Spike. Very well, princess, I shall bring my cerebrum, cerebellum and all of the other cephalic hangers-on with me as soon as I can."
To his amusement, he could see Twilight fighting very hard not to 'gawkify' him. He leaned in closer, widening his eyes in mock anticipation. "It's there ... it's hiding ... right behind those eyes, Twilight! You see it, don't you, Spike? Right there! Don't fight it, Twilight!" he exclaimed. Unable to help herself, Twilight broke into a smile and laughed. "That wasn't what I was expecting you to do, Twilight!"
"Well, after you allow me to analyze the potential between your abilities with energy and ours with magic, maybe we can discuss silly faces then. Does that sound like a deal?"
"The same deal as the carpentry?"
"I think we can probably come to a mutual understanding, Karn," Twilight said, her tone thick with exasperation.
"Hmm. You know more about legal systems than I do. I need to borrow some of your books on such subjects. After you scramble my brain, then allow me to fix your door, we shall talk of clocks, measuring systems, astronomy and so on. There's a combination of words that I never thought I'd see myself using."
"Ugh! Enough, Karn! Please get yourself settled with Fluttershy and come back to my lab?"
"I'm sorry for being so facetious, Twilight. I can only put it down to the mild euphoria from the pain medication. I shall make sure I am suitably grumpy when I make it back to you!"
Twilight and Spike made their way into the library via what was left of the door. The others made their excuses and headed off to their own homes and places of business. Pinkie naturally made sure to give everyone the most extraordinary hug before leaping her way off to work. Rarity insisted on obtaining some beauty sleep and a chance to make herself more presentable for dress making at the boutique. Rainbow Dash took off with yet another comment directed his away referring to him as a club. This finally seemed to catch Fluttershy's attention, much to Karn's horror.
"Karn - why does Rainbow Dash keep calling you a Clubman, or Clubbie or ... "
"Oh God, Fluttershy. It's a silly nickname I used to have. I had never intended anyone else to find out about it, but well - somehow it got out of its cage."
"I see ... I don't understand why anypony or human would want to call you a club? You don't seem dangerous?"
"Well, the nickname wasn't anything to do with my being dangerous as such it was more of a ... just a silly nickname, Bubble Snuggle."
The two made their way through the eastern market areas of Ponyville, before crossing the familiar bridge to Fluttershy's cottage. The plethora of birds, small forest dwellers and other creatures big and small seemed delighted at Fluttershy's return. Karn watched in amazement as she appeared to greet every one of them by name. He could think of no other pony - and most certainly no human whatsoever - who had this beautiful connection with the animal kingdom. Karn recalled the day they spent together sitting on one of Twilight's tree branches and his being astounded that she could understand what any of the animals were saying to her. Even after all this time, he still felt moved by this sweet nature of hers - ordinarily, such timid creatures would shy away from anything that came their way - instinctively, defensively. Apparently, they knew someone (or somepony) with a heart of gold and an angelic soul when they met one.
The greetings out of the way, Fluttershy turned and noticed Karn standing there smiling at her, in some strange way. It wasn't a smile suggesting humor, nor was it a smile that suggested contentment.
He shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid I'll have to apologize for what I'm about to do in advance, Fluffy Snuggle," he said in a soft, kind voice. Leaning down, he deftly lifted her to cradle her on her back along his forearms. She managed a squeak and a surprised expression, while he nudged open the door. He walked over to the sofa in her lounge and sat down, gently rolling her over and onto his chest. "This," he said sweetly, "is all your fault!"
"My ... my fault?" stammered Fluttershy.
"You are too adorable!" he laughed, hugging her a little more tightly. "I am worried that I'm going to prove to be a huge handful to you, with the issues that I still have, my love. Whatever happens, you do know that my feelings for you will never change, don't you?"
"I know, Karn. If I didn't trust you that way, I'd never have let you move in here with me."
A critical recollection leaped suddenly to his mind. "Um ... there is one other issue here, Fluttershy."
"Have you run out of nicknames?" she giggled, playfully rubbing his chest with one of her hooves.
"Well yes, there's that ... but as I recall, your parents are supposed to be visiting you tomorrow afternoon, aren't they?"
Fluttershy froze momentarily. "Oh my goodness! With everything that's happened, and so quickly! I'd not thought about that!"
"Are you still sure that they'll be okay with me? You thought they would be, that morning after the rebirth of a birthday party party?" he asked her.
"Oh, I'm sure they will, I'd just ... well, didn't expect them to find you already living here. I think that would prove to be ... well, a surprise for them!"
"Would it be easier if I moved out? I don't want to cause you any problems with your family, Fluttershy."
"No, Karn, I'm sure it will be okay. We might have to ... well, break the news a little gently to them."
He fell backward onto the sofa, lying on his back, allowing Fluttershy to flop down onto his chest. He let his latent feelings of sensuality for her to rise slowly within him as he gently slid his hands down her back until he was firmly holding her flanks in his hands. "I need you, Fluttershy," he whispered.
Kissing him softly, she rested her lips near his ear and whispered back. "I need you too, Karn."
The shape of Twilight's door was an interesting one. There was some rational part of Karn's mind that stared at the arched shape of the doorway and wondered why on earth they didn't go with a rectangular door. Certainly, those would be easier to produce - and in this case of course to repair.
Karn stood there looking at the door, Spike next to him. "Well, I suspect the first thing we shall need is some wood," Karn suggested finally.
Spike blinked once or twice. "That'd be a good place to start, I'd say."
"I shall have to locate some, just as soon as Twilight has finished ... I don't know. As long as it doesn't involve her inserting anything into my skull, I think I'll probably come out of this unscathed. Tell me the truth here, Spike. Have there ever been any ... you know ... survivors?"
Spike managed a laugh and looked up at him. "Karn, it's not that bad! I'm sure she'll do her usual experimental type stuff. There'll be a lot more note taking. At least at that point, you get to work on the door. I'll be spending the rest of the afternoon handling dictation of an update to Princess Celestia."
"Huh - that reminds me, I need to set to work on building her a fountain pen. Of all of the magic that seems to be used here, with all of the scientific knowledge that this society possesses - you're telling me nobody thought to upgrade writing implements from a quill to a pen? Or a pencil?"
"Well, no, whatever those are - but then I guess everypony was pretty happy just using quills, and none of them ever got around to trying anything new."
Karn twisted his lips thoughtfully to one side and nodded his head. "Hmm. That makes sense when you put it that way."
Spike lead Karn in through the remnants of the entryway and down to Twilight's laboratory. Karn fought back a slight sense of dread, recalling one of the previous experiences in this room. The other had involved Rarity cutting his hair short and shaving him - while that experience wasn't traumatic, it had taken him a few days to become accustomed to having lost his once customary Alsovian visage. As he gingerly made his way down the pony-sized steps, he attempted to lighten his mood.
"Look, master! Fresh meat!" he exclaimed.
Twilight looked up from one of several tomes she appeared to have set out across one of the few areas of her desk not presently smothered in scientific apparatus. "Karn, I'm so glad you've finally gotten here! What took you so long?"
"Well, I could have used time dilation to get here faster, but I've been reluctant to do that anymore - after what happened earlier."
"That seems wise," she replied. "Firstly, I need you to give me a better idea of what you experienced on the train this morning! What was it that you could sense? Have you ever tried doing that before?"
"Normally, I can reach out with my senses and feel energy flowing. There are forms of energy that are easier to sense than others. Electricity, heat and even alpha and beta radiation. I can't sense those directly, but they do leave net charges where their particles flow, and that net charge is something I can sense quite easily."
"Alpha and beta particles ... can you expand on that?"
"Radiation, Twilight," he explained. She cocked her head a little. "Particles? Atomic particles?" he suggested, hoping one of the terms would trigger a thought. "Okay, well let's leave it with my being able to sense electricity or electric charge quite well."
"I do recall you telling me you could absorb energy?"
"That's true, yes."
"So, if a lightning bolt were to strike you ... "
"I would absorb the bolt and store it."
"That wouldn't cause you any pain?" Twilight asked in surprise.
"None whatsoever."
"I see - so, I gather you were sensing bioelectric flow ... wait! You were sensing bioelectric flow through me ?" she asked, suddenly realizing what he'd been doing in the first place.
"Twilight, it's not like that - it's nothing obscene, nothing intrusive - it's just that when electricity flows, it emits electromagnetic waves and I can sense those. You're an antenna, basically," he said. The way she continued to glare at him suggested that she wasn't convinced. "Does the word 'passive' mean anything to you? Imagine you standing there and reading poetry to me. Okay? It isn't like I was running my hands through your saddlebags or breathing down your neck! I was, in a sense, sitting there and listening."
The glare softened a little. "Okay. So it was passive. So you were sensing that flow of electricity."
"Correct. That's when you reached for your suitcase using your horn ... your ... whatever it is you do," he fumbled, gesticulating wildly with his hands. "Suddenly that mild flow of electrical energy I was sensing became something else entirely. It wasn't electrical; it wasn't any form of energy I've sensed before, it ... was like an explosion."
Twilight's eyes opened widely. Karn knew the look all too well. "Hmm," she mumbled.
"Oh God. Twilight, how many Doctorates are you going to be earning from studying me exactly, and do I get any kickbacks?"
"You're changing the subject again, Karn!"
"I know! I'm good at it."
"Ugh - so this was an explosion that you'd not sensed before?"
"Well, no. I mean, I've been around when ponies have used magic, and its never been an issue nor caused me any discomfort. It was while I was so focused and deliberately feeling for it that it hit so firmly. I've not experienced anything that strong since the da-" and he suddenly froze, a look of horrified realization on his mind. "Oh fuck," he growled. "The only other thing I've sensed that strong was that ... that thing ... that entropy the day I came here," he growled under his breath.
"Now, Karn, please don't leap to any conclusions here. At this point, we have no idea what it was that happened to you - even the notion of how you got here to Equestria at all is still just a theory."
He stared blankly at the wall on the opposite side of the lab for a moment; his strong jaw clenched tightly shut. Twilight looked at him, wondering how it was that his teeth didn't shatter. Finally, he breathed a little. "I guess you're right," he said, quietly. "Let's take this one step at a time. Twilight, I think actively using my abilities with energy is going to be a terrible idea, until either of us or Princess Celestia and Princess Luna come up with a definitive explanation."
"Karn, the only thing I want to do with you today are some very, very small experiments."
His eyes slowly shifted focus from the back wall of the laboratory to Twilight's face. "Small experiments, you say?"
"Very small, I promise."
"Am I to assume you want me to try to sense your bioelectric flow, while you utilize magic?"
"That would be correct," she affirmed. Karn stared at her, frowning. The stare continued for an uncomfortable period. "Karn, I am talking about using enough magic to move a single strand of hay - just a single strand - enough to barely move it."
Karn sighed in resignation. "Very well, Twilight. I am assuming you want me to wear that colander of yours?"
"I'm afraid so - I'd like to get some readings of the activity across your brain as we're doing this."
Settling himself cross-legged on the floor, the only realistic position in which he could feel comfortable, Twilight attached the sensitive equipment. This task was not a difficult job in itself, in that it did indeed appear to be very much just a colander with a lot of electrodes attached to it. The equipment once more whirred into life, and it produced a trace of Karn' brain waves.
"Okay - firstly, I want to get a base reading. See if you can sense anything bioelectric about me at the moment."
Somewhat reluctantly, he reached out and focused on her. The familiar ebbs and flows, pulses and sparks of bioelectricity flowed through her body. He could sense her heart, the flow along her axons within her mind, the flow through her muscles. "Okay - this much I am used to. As I said, I can sense this kind of energy a lot easier here in Equestria than I could at home."
"Thank you - now, I'm going to very, very subtly try to move this single strand of hay, okay?"
"... Okay."
The very faintest hint of magical aura appeared around Twilight's horn, as the tiny strand of hay sitting on the desk moved almost imperceptibly.
Karn's eyes flew open, and he gasped audibly. Twilight immediately released her hold on her magic. "Karn??? Are you okay?? What happened, are you hurt??"
He blew the air out of his lungs and remained seated with his eyes fixed on hers. "Wow ... Twilight ... I need you do that again, with just that amount of magic ... nothing more than that, please. I want you to do that and hold onto precisely that amount of magic. I'll let you know when I've finished my observations," he said, in a strange, monotone voice.
"Well ... okay, but please don't do anything silly?" she cautioned him. Turning again to face the desk, she again held just the faintest amount of magic needed to make the hay strand vibrate.
Around Twilight's horn, down the path to the insignificant strand of hay on the table, Karn could observe that time was ever so slightly bent in on itself. Not only was it bent, but the space between Twilight and the strand of hay was compressed as well. He could observe the strange lensing effect of the light in the room between Twilight and the desk - it was subtle, so incredibly subtle, but it was most definitely there. Her bioelectric energy was trivial to sense, but it was the magic that was making the difference - it had nothing to do with electricity. He'd been mistaken on the train - it was as if the magic she was emitting was releasing a form of energy of its own, and he found himself absorbing it. It was unlike any energy he'd ever heard of or studied - but whatever it was, he was collecting it. He was primarily a lightning rod for whatever this strange energy that co-existed with magic happened to be.
"Twilight ... I need you to stop now."
She released her gentle hold and raced over to him. "What was it? Did you notice anything?"
"I can certainly explain why my adeptic powers appear to be so much stronger these days. But that isn't the half of it, Twilight."
"I don't understand? Are you saying you can use magic?"
"No - I can't use magic," he said anxiously. "But I have a feeling that if I tried to use energy that I've absorbed directly, while anyone else around me is using a powerful enough spell ... " he looked up at her. "... then we could end up in a world of shit."
She looked back at him, horrified.
"Twilight, you need to sit down, and we need to talk."
Author's Note
Yes, the title of this chapter is a nod towards Megadeth (and yes, I realize that their noun is 'dread' and not 'anxiety').
I had intended to write a larger chapter, but I think I want to start off on a clean slate with where I'm going with this, rather than try to combine too much of this faux scientific nonsense with Karn's having to deal with meeting Fluttershy's parents - and of course, getting materials to fix the door.
Another side. He is deliberately using "anyone" and "everyone" and is deliberately avoiding "anypony" and "everypony".
Omnia vincit amor, et nos cedamus amori.
“One sweet, sad secret holds my heart in thrall; A mighty love within my breast has grown, Unseen, unspoken, and of no one known; And of my sweet, who gave it, least of all.”
― Felix Arvers
Karn and Fluttershy remained seated outside, enjoying the gentle breeze and the peace. Karn was surprised to see that nearby birds would fly to Fluttershy and perch on her left shoulder - the side facing away from him. To his amazement, she even seemed to be able to strike up a conversation with them. He had never dreamed that it was possible to have any kind of meaningful discussion with birds, but clearly she was able to. Her discourse with her avian friends was light hearted and happy.
"Fluttershy, can you actually understand what these animals are saying to you?" asked Karn, incredulously.
"Why yes, I can!" she smiled. "It's my special talent! I love animals! ... Do you like animals, Karn?" she asked, hopefully.
Karn smiled sweetly at her. "As a matter of fact, yes I do. Well, most of them anyway. Some cycles ago on our farm, I had a few months furlough and I helped raise a variety of animals. We raised chickens for eggs ... " and for meat, though he felt mentioning this would be a very bad idea. "Cows for milk, sheep for wool and so on. I even had a pet dog that I called 'Ravage'. I chose the name because he was the least aggressive dog I'd ever known. He was a black and white cattle dog - very energetic! I used to love going for early morning runs around the farm, and he'd follow me, lopping alongside me the whole way. Some evenings, I would sit and watch the sunset with him, when it was quiet - the insects chirping in the night air - and just ... well, it's odd, but I'd talk to him. I'm sure he had no idea what I was saying, but I loved that dog. He was considered a very lucky companion, where I hail from."
"Lucky in what way?" quizzed Fluttershy.
"Well, he had two different colored eyes. One was brown, the other was blue."
There was long pause, while Fluttershy worked up the courage to ask another question. "He sounds lovely! I love dogs very much, too! Do you miss him?"
There was a sad pause. "Yes, Fluttershy. I remember coming home to the farm, and he would bound all over me, smothering me with kisses. I used to lift him up in my arms, and he'd just shower me with them."
A distant look overcome Karn's eyes, as a gentle and nostalgic smile stretched across his face.
"He certainly sounded like a wonderful friend for you! I guess you have so many fond memories of your times together."
"We were pretty inseparable. I used to like camping outside in a spare shed we had, whenever I was back on leave. It was big enough to lay out in and it had the one doorway, so I felt reasonably safe that way. Ravage would come along and lie right next to me. He was funny at times. We had this gander that used to hang around the farm house - we used to call him 'Butch', he was a foul tempered thing. For whatever reason, he took at instant dislike to Ravage. He couldn't bring himself to attack the stupid gander, so I'd come back from pruning the vines or some such and there'd be Ravage, tearing around the house for his life and right behind him would be this furious looking Butch. This circular foray would go on for nearly fifteen minutes, until someone stopped laughing long enough to intervene and save poor Ravage. God, he was a funny dog."
"He sounds like a lot of fun!"
"Oh he was. He used to like water skiing! We'd head out to go skiing on the lake not far from the farm in the warmer times of the cycle, and he'd be hell bent on getting onto this water board kind of thing we had. He'd see you drag that board out of the shed and knew instantly what was coming. He'd be leaping around in circles, bouncing, yapping away! Damn, he loved being towed behind the boat on that thing."
Fluttershy convinced her friends that Karn wasn't dangerous. "No, Mrs. Finch - he's a human. He's very kind and very nice. He likes animal friends, too!" There was some affirmative sounding calls from 'Mrs. Finch', which Karn assumed to be a good sign. He continued to listen to the happily chirping birds perched on Fluttershy's shoulder - five abreast. "How long has it been since you last got to spend some time playing with Ravage?" she asked finally.
"Oh, Fluttershy, it's been a long time now. I last saw him whilst on leave at the farm, about eighty or so cycles ago. We were working in the shed one day, replacing a drive in our vine harvester. The lifting system failed and ... well, it collapsed onto him and he was killed. I spent the last week of my leave building him a grave site amongst the trees at the back of the farm house, in the shade where he liked to rest when Butch wasn't around. He was a great friend. I couldn't bare to have another canine companion after that. His loss just hurt too much."
"Oh, Karn. I am so sorry."
"Fluttershy, it was an accident. Please don't allow yourself to be sad? He had a long and happy life and was loved a great deal. These things happen. It was tragic, but one tries to focus on the good times and those lovely evenings and morning exercises with him. Animals are a part of one's family too. They share the good times, the bad, they are there to comfort you when you are upset, to celebrate with you when you are happy. They should always be honored in your memory. They are ... not judgmental, as humans can be," he philosophized. Karn watched the birds happily chirping on Fluttershy's shoulder. "They certainly seem to love you a lot!" he exclaimed, nodding his head towards 'Mrs. Finch' and the others. "I still need to see this menagerie of yours, Fluttershy. It is somewhat late in the afternoon and I'm rather tired, but if you are available tomorrow, I should like very much to visit you in the morning? That is, if you don't mind?"
Her heart fluttered a little. 'Oh my goodness'. "I, well, I'd ... I'd love that very much!" She looked back down to the ground below them.
"I think we had best retire inside, Fluttershy. I think I need to arrange someplace to sleep, before I find myself having to remain perched out here on this tree."
Karn sensed that Twilight was a little embarrassed about the way Princess Celestia had questioned him about parts of his history that he had expressly asked her not to. Something about the way she was pacing backwards and forwards across the floor of her library certainly gave a hint.
He slowly crossed the room, unsure what to expect if he should catch her attention too abruptly. He reached spike and leaned in closer to him and whispered "Um, Is she okay?"
Spike was resting his elbow on a table and just rolled his eyes. "Yeah. She kinda just treads the boards like that when she's a little upset about somethin'."
Karn continued to observe Twilight's somewhat aberrant behavior. "Does she do this sort of thing often?"
"Pffff, oh yeah. I once told her they should make wearing out floorboards an event at the Equestria Games. She didn't find it very funny."
"Hah! That's a brilliant idea, I think she'd be a shoe-in, whatever the Equestria Games are! I gather it would be unwise for me to repeat your suggestion as well, however?"
Spike looked up at him with a sly smile. "You could try? If you decide to, I'll need to get some popcorn and make myself comfortable so I can watch the fireworks!" A witty reply, indeed. Karn had already decided he liked Spike a lot.
Twilight finally noticed Karn standing there next to her assistant. "Karn ... I don't know what to say, I mean I told her that it would be a very bad idea to bring up the immediate events that led to your arrival here, but ..."
"Twilight, do you remember Princess Celestia asking me about how I arrived here in any of her queries?"
"Well, not exactly , but ... "
"Then there is nothing for you to apologize for. I'd be deceiving you if I was to say that her queries did not cause me any pain and my sighting that weapon so suddenly did make my lose my temper. One must consider the situation and use reason."
"Reason ?" she asked. "Karn, you were obviously very distressed!"
"Yet the conversation turned to happier things and she and I parted as good friends."
"But, the way you were so shocked, the sound of your voice when you described those unspeakable things ... "
Karn shook his head. "Twilight, look at the situation from her perspective. A human being she has never met arrives from a place she knows nothing about, and the only reports she has to hand about his appearance, manners and bearing are second hand. She arrives here, hears about some of these mysterious abilities this human has. They are not magical, nor are they mystical. She is responsible for the well being of her subjects. Prudence dictates that she should be sure that this new creature roaming around her kingdom may do so without causing harm. All in all, a very wise tactical decision."
"I guess, Karn, but I'm ... well, still very sorry."
He flashed her a mischievous grin. "Then be sorry all you like!" he exclaimed, putting on the persona of what he supposed was a school master. "Perhaps I shall punish you for it later? A rolled up newspaper is the best weapon for such, so I hear," he finished, melodramatically. She half-frowned at him. "Well, Princess, if you will be such a miscreant , then I am afraid at least ten of the best with today's news is called for!" She finally broke into a smile. "So, which side of the newspaper shall you choose to meet your person first.
She finally managed a laugh. "You've been hanging around with Pinkie Pie too much."
"Huh!" guffawed Karn. "To bring some seriousness back to the situation, Twilight, I did have something I needed to ask you. I do not wish to impose on any of you in particular, but is there anywhere I could hunker down for the night? Preferably somewhere with just one entrance. I don't deal well with sleeping in the open, unless someone else in my unit is keeping watch."
"Oh my goodness! Karn, I hadn't even considered where you could stay, what with everything that's been happening!"
"Don't worry too much about it, Twilight. I've slept in muddy pools alongside everything from armor debris through to corpses, ... "
"You've slept alongside what ?"
"Well, yes. It was either that or sleep above ground and become one of them. I've slept inside barrels, up in trees, underground, underneath machinery, even inside machinery occasionally. I remember once sleeping inside some kind of strange butter churn, and the basta ... " he began, stopped as Twilight caught his eye. Ah yes, the bad language. ".... mongrels in my unit waited until I was out cold and then proceeded to churn the damn thing."
Twilight laughed heartily once more. "That must have been an amazing sight!"
"It was when I finally leapt out of the damn thing and tried to chase any of them down!"
"Twilight, ah I think ah need to mosey on back ta Sweet Apple Acres. I don't want ta be too late gettin' some shut eye for tomorrow."
"Hey, speaking of which, Apple Jack! Would you mind if I asked you a small favor?"
"Shoot, Twilight!"
"Well, in all of today's excitement, it seems we haven't arranged a place for Karn to actually sleep."
"Are you kiddin' me? Well, we don't have a lotta room, but if yew don't mind sleepin' in a barn, there's plenty of hay there? I'm sorry it ain't a suite in the palace but it's warm an' you'll be indoors?"
The idea of sleeping in a warm barn was actually quite an agreeable concept for Karn. Christ knows he'd slept in some pretty awful places - a barn might just as well be the Admiral's quarters on any of the fleet carriers. "Apple Jack, I'm sure that'd be wonderful. I apologize for imposing on you, but ... "
"Ah'll hear nothin' of it, Karn! Yew are most welcome! We'd best make a move now, 'fore it gits too much later."
"I just want to thank all of you for your many kindnesses today. I appreciate all of your efforts to help ease me into my life here," Karn managed. A chorus of accepting expressions reached his ears from his new found friends. "I hate to impose further, but tomorrow morning I was planning on making a trip out to Fluttershy's cottage. Is there any chance someone might ... well, guide me there?"
"Hey, I'm cool!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"Thank you! I'll ... meet you at Sweet Apple Acres, then? Sometime in the morning?"
"You bet!"
"Thanks, Rainbow Dash."
"Hey! Just call me Dashie."
He wondered at the way in which her apparent distrust of him had melted over the course of the day. Perhaps the hellish questioning had been worth at least that much? It could even have been Rarity's efforts at making him look more civilized? "Thank you, 'Dashie', I really do appreciate it."
"No problem!"
The walk back to Sweet Apple Acres was engrossing. Karn found himself enjoying the clear air once more, the quiet and the chance to stretch his legs. After having had some quiet time, and having been able to spend that quiet time with Fluttershy, he felt a good deal more rejuvenated.
"Thanks again for giving me a place to sleep, Applejack."
"Pfff, why don't ya jest call me AJ? Applejack sounds all formal. Ah usually only end up being called that if ahm in some kinda trouble."
"Well, okay then ... AJ," he replied, trying the nickname on for size. It felt a little disrespectful, but as she had specifically asked then perhaps in time its use would feel less so.
"Did yew have a nickname where yer from, Karn?"
In fact, he'd had several over the years. As new comers to his unit would arrive and be subsequently killed, another load of replacements would eventually take their place and come up with new monikers for him. The last nickname he'd had before that horrific incident that brought him here was one that his warrant officer of all people had given him. He'd earned the sobriquet upon stumbling out of a shower one day and finding himself snapping to attention, completely naked, in front of the stunned WO. It seemed there was one particular part of his anatomy that was extraordinarily impressive. 'Jeeeeesus , Karn! If we ever run outta ammo or reinforcements, you can just whip that fucking thing out and beat those bastards to death with it! Make sure you lock that fucking club of yours up at night!"
The ribbings he'd received from his friends after this episode never seemed to cease. He'd never actually been proud of his male endowment, reasoning that its construction (if that was how one could refer to it) was genetic rather than some skilled accomplishment on his part. It was after all just a part of his anatomy - like his hands or his ears. He'd always found the resulting fuss to be more than a little confusing. Why not focus on an ability one had worked hard to achieve? His phallus was simply what he was born with.
The other troops he served with did not share this philosophical leaning. His friends greeting him in the mess by calling 'Ay, The Club has joined us!' was always good for a laugh. More than once, he'd torn open his sleeping bag to find an actual club placed there. Once, they'd even adorned one with a blonde wig and lipstick. His friend Coron was often the harshest with the obscene comments. 'When this bloke here needs to jerk off, they have to call in half the fucking fire fighters in Alsovia to help out!' This odd obsession they had with respect to his size had mostly been an annoyance to him. However, he was nothing if not good natured, and he dealt with the jibes as best he could.
"Well, I'd had a few nicknames, AJ. The last one was ... well, it was 'The Club'."
"..... The Club ?" she asked, her bemusement all too apparent.
"Um ... yes."
"What in tarnation led to yew earnin' a nickname like The Club ? Did yew carry one, or get hit with one?"
"I'd really rather not to go into that. Suffice to say, I had a warrant officer bring that one about. If it's all the same to you, I would rather you just called me Karn. There's reasons behind my nickname that would ... well, just make things awkward."
They continued their walk towards the farm for a moment, in silence.
"Karn ... I jest wanted yew to know that ah see yew spendin' a lot of time there with Fluttershy."
"Ah. Well, yes, AJ. I owe her a life debt, if you will."
"Yew should know, she's right sensitive and she can git scared pretty easily."
"I'd noticed she is a gentle and quiet soul, yes. I have been as careful as I can around her," he was already feeling a little weird about being away from her for just this length of time. Why did AJ have to bring this up? "I like spending time with her. She's very sweet."
Applejack noticed that the look on Karn's face was somewhat sad, though for what reason she couldn't tell. "What kinda things did y'all do for fun in yer spare time where you're from?" she asked finally.
"I used to enjoy running around our farm, especially in the morning - watching the sun come up. If there was a group of us, we would fence with unsharpened swords to simulate energy blades. It's great fun and good exercise. Often we would gather at the homestead with nearby relatives and play various board games - mostly revolving around strategy and tactics. We were also a very musical family and I was well trained in piano but I preferred instead to drum. I'd always found the act of hammering drums to be a means to work out my angst. Swimming was another popular pass time. What about you? What is it you ponies do for fun and relaxation, besides ask questions of befuddled strangers?"
"Well, let's see. There's th' Summer Sun Celebration. We also hold th' running of th' leaves each year which is a competitive race. The sisters of Ponyville also hold a 'sisterhooves social' every year! Pairs o' sisters git together and compete in all kinds ah fun games. There's the Equestria Games is probably th' biggest event - ponies come from all over the land come ta compete! Of course, Pinkie is willin' to hold any kinda celebration or party around town, for dang near any reason," she finisbed as they both had a good natured laugh. Pinkie was certainly something else. "Thinkin' of which, when exactly is yer birthday, Karn?"
"God, AJ, I don't really know."
"Yer tellin' me ya don't know when yew were born?"
"To be a little more erudite with respect to my previous statement, AJ, no. I don't."
"Well ... yew must at least have some sorta idea?"
"It was somewhat around two hundred and fifty of your years ago, I know that. It was during the harvest in my village. The precise information escapes me. Adepts are long lived, we generally don't bother to track birth dates down to individual planetary revolutions - just cycles of our local star. I regret to say even the precise value of that escapes me now."
"Ah tell yew what. Let' just make one up!"
"... make up a birthday?"
"Yeah! Let's just choose a date here and as long as yer here with us, we'll treat that as yer birthday!"
"Oh God, AJ, I really don't know. I don't like to be the center of attention, and ... "
"Come on' Karn! Pinkie'd love nothin' more than an excuse to throw a party! We can show yew some of our party games, the littlens would love it, everyone else would love ta git to meet you!"
"Well ... then I guess you've managed to talk me into having a date of birth, albeit a arbitrary one," he found himself acquiescing. This was certainly not a collection of words he ever thought he'd use together in that sequence. "Thank you, AJ."
"How 'bout ... two weeks from now?"
"So soon ?"
"Well, why not? You haven't had one in ... well, Celestia knows how long! Why not in a couple of weeks?"
Karn perplexedly furrowed his brow and looked down at the road he was walking along. "I ... well, I guess celebrating a fictional birthday is better than the alternative. Thanks, AJ! But please promise me you won't go to any trouble?"
"Karn, trust me! When Pinkie find's out about an impromptu birthday, yew ain't gonna get any trouble from me!"
Their arrival at Sweet Apple Acres took some time. This wasn't on account of the distance of the march out of town, but due to the size of the apple orchard to either side of the main track before they had even reached the front gate. The image before Karn was of such peaceful, rolling hills and such prime, fertile farm land that he found himself truly speechless. The entrance was framed by a beautifully well kept, inviting hedge. Beyond the gate, wonderfully well maintained sheds, chicken coups, and rows of well tended vegetables mixed in with an magnificent vista of trees - those sporting red fruit which he presumed were apples, and others in the distance, setting atop the hills.
"Well, here we are, sugar cube!!"
"AJ ... this ... this is the most beautiful place I've ever laid mine eyes upon."
"Aw, shucks, Karn! Ahm sure glad you like it!"
A rather large, heavy set red stallion meandered over to the two of them as they entered the gate.
"Karn, ah'd like you to meet my brother, Big Mac! He's the hardest worker roun' these parts!"
"Yeeeup".
"I'm honored to meet you," offered Karn.
"Yeeeup", came the reply. Karn found the curious dead pan manner of his expression a curious duality to that of Applejack. They were both obviously salt-of-the-earth creatures, hard working, filled with a simple honesty and the kind of pleasant forthrightness that could only come from solid toil.
"Big Mac, Karn here needed a place to sleep fer tha night, and I reckoned he could camp out in the new hay barn."
"Yeeeup" came the predetermined reply. No matter the very simple manner of Applejack's brother, Karn found himself liking him very much. There was no drama here, no pretense, no bullshit about him. At any rate, he headed off to accomplish some other task around the farm and Applejack led Karn on towards the promise of a warm bed for the night.
The new barn was precisely the kind of building Karn had thought it would be. It was a solid wooden construction - the walls were painted red, with large double doors to allow easy access to the inside. Apple Jack led Karn up into the loft, where she helped him spread out enough hay to make a soft bed, covering it with a blanket. A hessian sack filled with still more hay made for a perfect pillow. A large, down-filled eiderdown was found and offered as well.
"If you don't mind sometime, I'd love to ask you to show me around the farm and how things work around here," remarked Karn, trying to stifle a yawn.
"You bet. As long as yew reckon' yer up to it? Don't you go wearin' yerself out, y'hear?"
"I'm already a lot more steady on my feet. I managed to walk here without having to steady myself," he pointed out to her. He thought about that fact for a moment. "Do you think I should add my own cutie mark?"
"You should do what, now??"
"Well, since I can now walk quite adroitly and without assistance, I thought ... well, maybe I could have a pair of boots tattooed onto my thigh. What do you think?" The two of them laughed about the entire concept. "Hah! Maybe not. The next thing you know I'll be walking around on all fours and sporting a tail. Do you think a tail would suit me? Perhaps Rarity could fashion me one from the hair she cut off me earlier today?" Applejack's laughter intensified a little. "What's so funny? I thought the entire concept of having my hair cut off in the first place was to fit in with your customs! Why not improve my stance in the community by having the remnants of my hair sewn onto the back of my uniform?" It was apparent that Applejack found the image hysterical - it took her some time to get ahold of herself.
"Well, Karn, that'd certainly be a mighty funny sight!" she exclaimed finally, wiping a tear from her eye. "You'd be endin' up in a travellin' side show like that."
"That's a thought. I think I'll leave my thigh free of cutie marks, remain upright ... and, of course, no tail."
The task of constructing a resting place for Karn accomplished, they made their excuses.
"AJ, I really cannot find the words to thank you enough for your incredible hospitality."
"Well, as I say, yer welcome. Ah'll be seein' you in the mornin', bright'n early! Ah'll introduce yew to some of the other Apple clan and wait fer Dashie to turn up!"
Applejack climbed back down from the loft and headed back to the farm house, bellowing a hearty "ya sleep tight, now!" as she closed the barn doors.
Karn slid himself under the eiderdown that he'd been supplied with on top of his hay mattress, and gently rested his head back onto his hessian pillow. It felt for all the world like he was a king - the bed was humble, but it was offered freely and without conditions. Staring at the roof of the barn, he was confused to have found that his thoughts had drifted towards Fluttershy. Folding his arms behind his head, he lay there - contemplating precisely why he was suddenly focused on her. He felt very alone without her being nearby, and her absence weighed on him a great deal. Especially since he had no idea where she was, as he still didn't know the layout of the town too well.
He wasn't entirely sure what Fluttershy felt about him. She obviously seemed to want to be friends - she had been more than happy to be close to him that afternoon on that silly tree branch. He reasoned that their being different species didn't matter a great deal, since the ponies of 'Equestria' were obviously highly intelligent and very advanced. Given that much, sharing emotions such as the strong bonds of friendship between them was therefore less of an issue as it would have seemed at first, since they and he were sufficiently sapient enough to communicate so effectively. They and he were certainly able to grasp consequences, solve problems and employ logic and reason.
There were the obvious physiological and anatomical differences, though. He was twice their size for a start, and bipedal - something the ponies seemed to find curious. They also tended to wear little to no clothing, unless it was for purposes of show, or practicality - such as Applejack's saddle bags.
He closed his eyes, and recalled as best as he could the sound of Fluttershy's lovely voice singing that lullaby to him whilst he was in hospital. At first, he laughed to himself over the absurdity of it - but for all that, the memory of her voice was comforting. His conscience slowly relaxed as the sweet memory of her beautiful song floated through his mind, and for the wonder of it all he fell asleep.
As he slept, he dreamt of hills and apple trees, of blue skies and a benevolent wind.
He dreamt of green fields and his dog, Ravage, happily standing at his side.
Naturally, Fluttershy was there in his dreams as well. She was intensely beautiful. His sleeping form gently caressed her cheeks, sliding her mane away from her angelic face. He felt confused, yet comforted.
Author's Note
I started to 'heat' things a little more at this point in the story. I am not entirely sure that the 'sex' tag needs to be employed yet, but it will be in the future. When, I don't know. The emphasis on Karn's phallic endowment and his desire to downplay the obsession others seemed to have with that is an attempt to drive home that he is philosophical. Sexuality is not something that repulses him, but he feels that sharing such intimacy is not a game. Thus the grappling with his instincts.
With thanks to MrDerpFace for providing additional editing and checking! Greatly appreciated.
2017-04-06 POST EDIT
Again, removing a lot of the emotional treacle. There were a lot of grammar and spelling issues to fix, as well as some tightening up of the dialog in places.
