Collarblind: Red Scare

[A fragment of the ending conversation of the epilogue, in which a Caribou official recruits Flash to ply his trade for the government.]

“Before we can make things official, I have three questions for you.”

“I’m listening.”

“First question: Have you ever interacted with a blue collar?”

“Well . . . to be honest I forget that that was a designation. What does blue signify, again?”

“Diplomatic immunity. It’s a very rare distinction for a female to hold. We reserve blue collars for visiting foreigners, mainly.”

“. . . In that case, no. I haven’t been with a blue collar,” admitted Flash. “But,” he added quickly, “It doesn’t matter. I’m Dr. Collarblind. Whatever color collar this mare of yours is wearing, I can fix her.”

The Caribou smiled wanly. “I didn’t say she was a mare.”

Flash shrugged. “That doesn’t matter either. Griffon, zebra, cow, it’s all the same to me. I can get the job done.”

“Your confidence is reassuring. Second question: Does the name “Princess Ember” mean anything to you?”

“I can’t say that it does,” said Flash, scratching his head. “This girl you have in mind . . . she’s a princess?”

“She is.” The Caribou paused, and his thin smile widened into a smirk.

“Final question, and be honest with me, Dr. Fortune: Have you ever fucked a dragon?”