Monster is as Monster Does
Chapter 41: Nobility
Previous ChapterNext ChapterCanterlot Castle
Six Days Later
"I know you didn't pull that out of storage when there's a perfectly good and talented seamstress walking distance from our home," Luna warned.
"I guess it is getting a little old," I allowed as I felt the frayed cuffs of my suit, "But I got it in the Kingdom, I've always worn this to formal events. I guess I could wear my armor, it's pretty formal."
"Go buy a new one," Luna ordered, "And be quick about it, we only have a few hours before the gala."
I looked at Abaddon and Tzu. Tzu nodded, but Abaddon shook the head of his secondary.
"The budget is pretty tight for that," I commented.
Luna paled, "Are we running out of money? Is that even possible? I know Tartarus doesn't use bits but it must have treasure vaults."
"It's there, but it's already been allocated to the war efforts. Most of the city walls and defenses are coming out of my coffers until the nobles get around to repaying my investment, which might not be until after the war is over. Bits are still coming in, but very little is being set aside for luxuries," I explained.
"The armor will be fine," Luna acquiesced.
"I know it's not what you were expecting, I'm sorry," I apologized.
"No, you're right. It's vanity and better spent protecting Equestria. I think I've just gotten used to not thinking about the cost," Luna responded thoughtfully, "Everything around me is so big and grand, like Abby here. It makes everything feel as inexhaustible as he is."
"That's the point," I agreed, "Our enemies think that exact same way about us, which I mean to maintain to my last bit and even beyond that."
"They never talk about the material cost," Luna mused.
"It isn't worth talking about afterwards, the cost in lives is much higher," I replied.
"Given that you're the one draining a millennium's worth of savings on this, that bit of wisdom feels more potent. I will not complain, wear the suit or the armor," Luna agreed.
She turned when I didn't immediately respond, seeing that I was already sliding into my wargear and verifying that my new signet ring hadn't been damaged during its attachment to my left gauntlet. A signet ring featuring an engraving of a howling wolf.
I took a moment to adjust how my hammer was situated and that Cataclysm was well secured in its sheath before giving her a nod.
"Hold still, they didn't get all of the dust out of your cape," Luna sighed as she walked around me to fix my appearance further.
"On the flip side, that gown Rarity made you looks amazing," I complimented.
"After that conversation, it feels like sandpaper," Luna retorted.
"No, it serves a function. It says that we can keep this up, that our coffers are endless," I countered.
"You're going in your armor," Luna pointed out.
"I'm the warlord of us, it was foolish of me to even think about breaking that old suit out of retirement. The armor was always the right choice," I replied. It was a decent enough recovery.
"On that, at least, we agree," Luna allowed.
We spent a couple minutes in silence before Abaddon shifted, a sign that Twilight and the rest had arrived to get a ride up to the castle.
Only Rainbow and Applejack opted to join us on the deck as Abaddon walked towards Canterlot, serving double duty as both a status symbol and protection.
"Gammas loaded for deployment?" I confirmed.
"All that I have stand ready," Abaddon reported.
"Good, fire directly at any threats unless it would endanger the ponies," I ordered. This was a drastic change in procedure, as the common strategy was to fire the enforcers above the actual target so they could correct their flight and land with more finesse. In this situation, speed was more important.
Abaddon had to twist himself somewhat precariously to allow all of us to walk directly into the pavilion where the gala would be taking place. Thankfully, he didn't have to hold that position for long and was soon allowed to move to a more comfortable spot on the mountain overlooking the party.
Hopefully nobody would look at him too hard, he was doing his best impression of a friendly smile. It wasn't very friendly looking.
"Jekyll, Luna, Twilight, all of you, welcome. I'm so glad you've arrived early," Celestia greeted, "Good choice with the armor, very inspiring."
"Thank you?" I replied, unaccustomed to hearing a complement spoken with that voice. She actually sounded friendly. It was unnatural.
"Sister, what are you hiding?" Luna asked, instantly suspicious.
"Nothing at all. Come, let's catch up before too many more ponies arrive and we're kept busy," Chelly suggested.
"Girls, go ahead and mingle. We'll be back soon and there are enforcers tasked with guarding you," I allowed before giving Luna a nod and following Chelly away from prying eyes.
Chelly kept up her friendly act until we were safely ensconced in the kitchens.
"I have uncovered a changeling plot to spy on this party, but I don't know who the spy is," Celestia began as soon as we were alone. In any other circumstances, I would have jumped on the opportunity to lambast her for starting a conversation like that when I hadn't even sat down yet.
"Simple enough, changelings don't sweat. No sweat, no pony scents, easy to spot and kill," I replied, getting a nod from Luna.
"Indeed, even I can see through their disguises," Luna agreed.
"It's not a changeling. It's a pony spying on us for money," Celestia corrected.
"That complicates things. I don't have the enforcers to spare one for each attendant, so following everyone is out of the question. We could narrow down what they're fishing for," I mused.
"I have the list of announcements," Luna volunteered, "My super soldier project, some royal family stuff, efforts to sell war bonds, and the introduction of Aym and Tzu as our main generals."
"Then an assassination is most likely," I reasoned, "The three of us, Caddy, Tzu, Aym, Aegis, the element bearers, and even the lesser nobles are all valid targets. Unless she knows Aym will regenerate, but that doesn't shorten the list by much."
"How many enforcers can we spend on their protection?" Celestia asked.
"Enough," I replied as I switched my pistols to being on the outside of my armor and thus within easy reach.
"How many is enough?" Chelly pressed.
"I have two squads dedicated to Twilight and the rest, that's twelve. Abaddon is ready to bombard this whole area with ten more squads, bringing the total to seventy-two. Add myself and we should be fine," I replied.
"We only know of one infiltrator, please be on guard," Celestia requested.
"We always are," I promised.
More were arriving as we rejoined the festivities, though I was far from the most celebrated person here. This was fine by me, as it allowed me time to warn the enforcers and set them on edge.
Honestly, I pitied the assassin. The moment he or she produced a weapon they'd be turned into a pincushion by a hail of spikes from all directions.
I wanted the first shot to be from my pistol for the optics, but that was a secondary concern.
I kept an eye on the Ponyville residents throughout the gala, seeing them all embarrass themselves in various ways that were mostly reasonable.
Rarity trying so desperately to woo Blueblood while Lily watched in amusement was one such event. He had started by ignoring her existence, then shot me an apologetic look.
I smiled as he turned up the asshole dial, doing Rarity a service by warning her off of all of the nobility through his own artificial oafishness. In truth, he wasn't too far past the actual attitude of most other nobles to reach the point of being a parody of them.
It wasn't until Rarity ruined her dress that he finally broke character and took her to Lily for a change of clothes, the two of them apologizing and cluing her in on what the nobility was actually like. That Rarity and Lily had met helped with this.
Twilight was the least out of place, staying close to Luna and making my job that much easier. Luna could take care of herself.
Rainbow was just waiting for the chance to show off, but I'd ensured that she wouldn't be let into a military unit like the Wonderbolts until after the war was over. She could chat up Spitfire all she wanted, but the orange pegasus knew my eye was on her.
AJ was trying her damnedest to make a few bits with pastries and the like she'd brought with her, but none had sold yet. It was hard to compete with free snacks and drinks.
I sighed at that, reminded of Fancy and how open minded he was. He was exactly the type to set the trend of buying something and opening the floodgates.
"Well, one of us has to fix that before she starts crying," a voice said from beside me.
"Are you working tonight?" I asked, taking my eyes off the most at risk attendees to glance down at the DJ beside me.
"Not how it works, dude. I don't do work. I'm like a necromancer, I breathe life into my venues. Pinkie said this place was dead and that's not something I can allow," Vinyl Scratch corrected.
"That means yes," I translated, making her scoff and walk over to AJ's stall.
"You could be nicer to her, she's had a hard life," a different voice chided from my other side.
I didn't look down this time, my eyes keenly locked onto Vinyl during her interaction with AJ. She covered so much of herself, it would be easy for her to be corrupted without drawing attention.
"So have far too many others," I replied.
"True," the voice agreed. I sensed the pony moving away, but cared little.
Caddy and Shining arrived slightly late, though no one was so uncouth as to bring it up. Regardless, they didn't miss any of the important parts of the gala.
They definitely didn't miss Vinyl pushing an entire stage into the ballroom by herself and starting a rave. Then again, I knew dead people who were able to hear that beat clearly.
Luna took center stage once the music died down and the political part began, as her big news was first on the list.
Like always, I ignored the plans of others and inserted myself into the middle of things. In this case, it was to step onto the stage opposite Luna and draw Cataclysm into my right hand.
Luna gave me a concerned look, but began her speech anyway.
"May I have your attention please? I know all of you are concerned about the war against the minotaurs, gryphons, and zebra. Rest assured, every avenue is being pursued. To that end, I would like to reveal to you all our latest achievement. A living shield to protect our way of life. Stalwart Aegis, please come forward," Luna announced.
Gasps could be heard as Aegis emerged and easily stepped up onto the stage, despite it being higher than a normal pony was tall.
"You revived the Solare project?" Celestia asked, alarmed.
"Not just revived, dear sister, improved. Stalwart Aegis is in complete control and has shown no mental degradation. What say you, Sir Aegis?" Luna assured the masses. They didn't need to know that the only improvement had been the removal of my tampering.
"I say that it's an honor to serve. My wife is less enthusiastic," our E-Code replied.
The simple joke did wonders for the stress of the crowd, but now it was my turn.
"Size is a factor, as are muscles, but our enemies use powerful ranged weapons. Will you consent to a showing of your durability? A display of what manner of shield you are?" I pressed as I moved towards the enhanced earth pony.
"Aegis is my name and my life's purpose. I am ready, King of Demons," Aegis agreed, dipping his head to offer me the flat spot where a unicorn's horn would be.
I brought the blade of Cataclysm down on him hard enough to dent the stage below his oversized hooves, cutting all the way to his skull but no further. His bones were just as durable as those of his predecessors.
I rallied and took my sword in a two handed stab, striking the same spot with even more force. This time he was pushed back, his hooves grinding across the stage.
His skull continued to hold firm.
"One last test, lift your gaze so the deflection goes into the ceiling," I instructed. Aegis was bleeding from the cut in his flesh, but not as badly as any other pony would have been. From a head wound like that, to be clear. A strike with that much force would have taken the top of a normal pony's head off.
I gave him just enough time to raise his head before drawing a pistol with my left hand and shooting him point blank in the face.
The spike deflected up into the ceiling as intended, harming no one.
"As you have all seen, the results of this are a massive increase to strength and durability. Such will greatly aid in repelling the invaders when they land," Luna stated, showing pride in what her project had accomplished.
"When they land?" One of the ponies repeated.
"An assumption we must make," I interjected before any fears could manifest, "To do otherwise is to be neglectful. If my navy proves themselves to be as capable as expected, no enemy forces will touch Equestrian soil. However, to place all of our faith in that first layer of our defense is to leave us open to the unexpected."
"Then what happens to him?" A mare asked.
"You don't need to worry, this is reversible," I replied. I intentionally left out the difficulty of such a task.
The mare nodded and no other concerns were raised, making this demonstration a success. I caught Aegis and pulled him aside before allowing him to participate in the gala.
Ostensibly, this was to fix the huge gash in his face. The reality was that I used it to clue him in on what Celestia had warned us about. Having a Solare on my side was a rather novel feeling, one I enjoyed.
Next came the more minor announcements, strategically placed to break up the big military ones. I paid little attention to these until Lily and Blueblood announced the date of their wedding, but I was slightly distracted by how embarrassed Rarity looked while wearing one of Lily's dresses.
Celestia took the stage after that for our planned effort to offset the cost of the preparations. The tried and true method of borrowing from the populace directly, for better or for worse.
"What exactly will these bonds be paying for?" One noble asked.
"The fortification of the coastal cities and the arming of our soldiers," Celestia replied smoothly.
"But the cities are already being fortified," another pointed out.
"Not by you," I interjected, "Tartarus is fronting you the cost of materials and labor. A debt that will be repaid."
The slightly threatening tone I chose painted Celestia as the more reasonable choice, exactly as intended. If any would be sold tonight, I couldn't know. I did know that a good number looked uneasy with the idea of owing me tens or hundreds of millions of bits, much less how I'd collect them.
Once more, we set aside the military aspect of the gala for something more easy on the ponies. This time it was a more major announcement.
Caddy and Shiny were getting married, announcing their engagement and setting the date as being the same day as that of Lily and Blueblood. Lily took the stage after that and smiled while leaning against Caddy, showing that the two were friends and had arranged this.
My blood turned to ice. This was what the spy wanted, a double royal wedding with all of the information they could want about it.
I had no way to find the spy in time, meaning that I had to find Chrysalis before that day came. I had to find her and finish what I'd started so long ago.
I'd stopped looking for any assassins by the time my turn came up to introduce Tzu and Aym as Equestria's generals, which went acceptably. I neither expected, nor received, any cheers or applause, but the lack of rebukes told me enough.
I didn't need them to like me or my choices for who would protect them, they just had to trust those choices.
While they may have had confidence in us, my own was being faked.
Perspective Change: Chrysalis
The Next Day
"A double royal wedding, one of which has the princess of love as the bride? This is perfect," I decided, unable to believe how my luck had turned. I'd worked so hard for this, often going without sleep until Spit put a pillow on top of my desk to make his point.
"Tell the truth, will anypony get hurt?" My informant asked.
"That isn't my intent," I confided, "My goal isn't conquest, I just need to borrow some power to find a few things I've lost. If all goes to plan, nopony will ever know I was there."
"Is this some kind of weapon against Jekyll?" The pony pressed.
"No, nor am I stealing from anyone. These things I've lost are mine by right, heirlooms of my kind's past," I lied, but ponies were fools by nature and far too trusting.
"Alright, I guess that's fine," the pony allowed.
"My thanks again for this information, regardless of why you needed the bits," I replied with a bow of genuine gratitude.
"I don't need them, Equestria does," my spy replied before walking out of my hive.
"Such determination, it reminds me of myself," I mused.
I looked at my desk, finding that there was nothing to be done until the appointed date.
"We do need more space, the hive still isn't big enough to bring down Jekyll's defenses," I reasoned.
My options were somewhat limited here, as the drones could only dig so fast and I'd already tasked as many as could be spared with the endeavor.
"My queen, have you eaten something unpleasant?" Spit asked.
"No, my child, I've just realized that I must break from tradition," I sighed before walking into the tunnels to dig shoulder to shoulder with the drones.
I'd much rather spawn more of them for this, but even my superior biology needed time to recover.
Perspective Change: Jekyll
"Jay, are you alright?" Luna asked.
I knew I was pacing. I knew I hadn't taken off my armor. I knew Abaddon was letting me wear a path in the floor so I'd cut it out.
"She's going to attack Canterlot," I replied, "She's going to attack and I'm clueless about how to stop it."
"Chrysalis? She'd never get within ten miles. Six lives in Canterlot, the Rogues have a major presence there, and your enforcers are also guarding much of it. She'd be insane to even try," Luna refuted.
"She has C-Codes now, she can fight them effectively," I countered.
"And your enforcers are heavily armed specifically to counter those. Please, just calm down and come to bed," Luna pleaded.
I said nothing, once more consumed by my own spiral of doubts. Where had I neglected a possible avenue of attack? What had I missed? Who was I trusting that would fail?
A hoof catching my arm returned me to the present.
"I don't sleep well without you being there. Please, just leave it for tomorrow," Luna requested with a comforting smile. I let her lead me out of my armor and into bed, though I didn't sleep this night.
My mind continued to evaluate every facet of Canterlot. By morning I had a plan of action, which was to do nothing. I would wait for Chrysalis to act and destroy her when she made herself vulnerable.
"What's on the agenda for today?" Luna asked before even opening her eyes.
"I need to check on Fisto, should only take an hour. Other than that I'll be coordinating the search for Chrysalis and her newest hive, though I would be shocked if it was uncovered," I replied.
"Hmm, I should see about Twilight. Haven't done much with her lately," Luna mused, "Do any of the engaged couples know about what's coming?"
"Not from me. I don't know if Chelly told any of them, but I'd wager that she hasn't," I replied.
"Why is that? I would think that they have a right to know," Luna countered.
"For the same reason I won't tell them, it presents too good of an opportunity to kill Chrysalis. If the bugs know we're onto them, they'll go to ground and we won't get our chance," I explained.
Luna sat up in horror, "That is your niece you're talking about! You love Lily, how could you even think about putting her in that kind of danger?!"
"I'll be there to keep her safe," I replied, "She'll be fine."
"She won't be fine, she'll know that you refused to tell her. If I were Lucky, I'd hate you for that. What would you do if someone used Freydis as bait?" Luna retorted.
I frowned.
"You might be right. I'd kill anyone who did that to Frey," I agreed, "Okay, I'll talk to her before I check on Fisto."
"That's better, but you should tell Cadence as well," Luna advised.
"On that, we disagree. Caddy's tougher than she looks and Shiny can handle himself as well as any three other ponies. Their issue is Shiny's professionalism, he'd make a big deal out of it and ruin any chance of killing Chrysalis. It's a calculated risk Caddy will back me on, she's played the damsel in distress for me before and knows I won't let anything happen," I argued.
"Then you wouldn't mind if I spoke to her?" Luna tested.
"Don't tell Shining Armor," I insisted.
"Excellent, I can work with this compromise," Luna agreed as she finally got out of bed. She paused for a moment before giving me a questioning look, "You have a budget for luxuries. How is that set up?"
"You can go shopping without hurting it," I replied as I rolled onto my back to contemplate the ceiling.
"That wasn't my question," Luna pressed.
"I don't need or want for anything, it's for you to use however you want. Buying fancy things is part of that image of untouchability," I relented.
"It doesn't feel right. It's like I'm lying," Luna sighed, "But I do like some of the designs Rarity has come up with recently."
"Then buy them," I replied with a shrug as I finally got out of bed and walked over to where my armor was standing by itself.
Luna was still arguing with herself when I got all of my weapons positioned properly and my cape untangled from the haft of my hammer.
"Good luck," I bid before using Tartarus to skip directly to the castle chambers Blue had been living in when I reunited him and Lily.
He didn't answer the door following my knocking, but his mother did.
"Blueblood and Rose Lily," I stated simply.
"Try every cheap motel in the city, you'll find them in one of those," the old mare spat.
"And the truth?" I prompted, which got the door shut in my face.
If that was how she wanted this to go, I knew this game much better than she did.
My hammer came out, swung to the side, and smashed the entire door off its hinges and into a blast of splinters that peppered the interior of the room.
"I'll ask again," I stated, having no intention of finishing that sentence.
This time she lacked any fight and lifted a single bleeding leg to point at the small decorative table beside the door I'd just erased. I stepped inside and picked up the stack of mail occupying said table, finding a folded note from Blueblood.
I dropped the rest on the floor to make friends with all of the splinters.
"You won't bleed to death, walk your ass to a clinic," I offered before leaving with the note.
I didn't even read it, all the noise I'd made would bring Blueblood and Lily to me. I just needed to be somewhere public so they'd be able to find me without too much delay.
There was a park not too far from the castle that contained a particularly old statue I favored. It was so weather worn that the features of the pony were unrecognizable, which gave it enough reasoning for why the plaque attributed the monument to the wrong person altogether. The truth was that this had been one of my legionnaires.
Frontline earned this monument during the Second Awakening, but didn't get it until after his death during the Caribon Schism a year after I'd put Belial down. Now the little bit of brass bolted to the stone base of it said it was in memory of Starswirl and his founding of Chelly's school.
My mind left the statue as Lily walked into this section of the park. Alone.
"I haven't figured out what you're doing yet," she began.
"Many things at once, as usual," I replied, "I need you to delay your wedding."
"You put Blue's mom in the hospital so I could delay my fucking wedding? What the fuck?" Lily demanded angrily.
"Don't be in Canterlot that day either. The city will be attacked and my forces will respond, it'll be a warzone," I warned, taking the anger out of Lily.
"That day specifically? How? Why on that day?" Lily asked more quietly as she approached me.
"Because of the weddings themselves. The changelings will attack the city, they want all of that love to fuel their own machinations," I elaborated.
Lily fell onto her rump and joined me in staring at the statue.
"It's Caddy that they really want," she deduced, "You're getting me out of danger. I refuse."
"You what?" I asked, finally looking at her in surprise.
"I will not change the day, even if the changelings attack. You're just going to have to work harder to stop them," Lily affirmed.
I hesitated while I tried to figure out what could possibly make her this stubborn.
"You've already made reservations," I guessed.
"I won't ask Mom to take a loan out against the hotel just to reschedule my honeymoon, nor can you afford it if you're begging for money at the Triple-G," Lily confirmed.
I gave Lily a hard stare, but sighed after she didn't back down.
"Here, at least stash these somewhere," I relented, pulling two of my throwing knives and holding them out for Lily to take.
"What, under my dress? I guess I can put them on an upper leg, that won't be too easily noticed," she reluctantly agreed.
"It'll have to do, be ready to defend yourself and Blueblood if it comes to it," I allowed, "This puts me in a difficult position, but I have some more ideas."
"Just don't hurt anyone," Lily sighed, "And try not to work yourself up so much Uncle Jay, you really don't look so good."
I nodded as she made ready to leave, then tossed myself off the side of the city to fly down to Ponyville. Dash would help me facilitate the next of my contingency plans.
"Hey," I greeted upon finding a certain napping pegasus. When she didn't move, I tipped the cloud over and dumped her into the open air.
Dash screamed as she awoke and recovered from her short fall.
"Geez dude, what's got your feathers matted," Dash complained.
"I need your help to keep Lily safe," I stated.
"Who the hay is Lily?" Dash retorted.
"Rose Lily, my niece, marrying Blueblood, big deal at the gala. Any of this jogging your memory?" I challenged.
"Nope."
"Fuck it. I need you to go to the big royal wedding with Gilda as your plus one," I instructed.
"Why?" Dash asked.
"So Gilda can sneak in some weapons," I replied.
"Sounds like a quick way to get her executed and me thrown in a dungeon," Dash decided, "Kinda at war with the gryphons."
"It'll be fine," I promised, "Just make it happen and I'll handle the rest."
I left without giving Dash a chance to argue further, darting through Tartarus as soon as I reached a wall and exiting once more inside the Bane.
"Okay, I'm back. Tell me nobody ate Notepad," I called as I emerged onto the deck.
"I mean, just a little," one of the rippers offered.
I stared at the ripper for a moment before looking around for my propagandist. I then stepped back down the stairs to see if he was just keeping out of the sun.
"Hey, where's Notepad?" I asked slowly and with a creeping suspicion.
"I'm up here."
I tilted my head up to see what had been done to the unicorn, finding him strung up by one hoof.
"Let him down from there and get him some water," I snapped, "Who ordered this? Where the fuck is Fisto?"
I didn't get any answers as Notepad was dropped into my waiting arms, though I doubted that was the intent of the demons.
"I'm waiting," I growled as I inspected the pony's injuries. He was mostly just dehydrated and a little scuffed up, nothing too difficult to treat.
"Lord Mephistopheles was displeased by the pony's notes, he felt they weren't grand enough. Or maybe that they lacked enough emotion. Or possibly more ships? Maybe he wanted toes to be doodled in the margins? I'm not sure. Regardless, he either wanted the pony hanged by a hoof or… maybe handed to a billion whores? We took a guess," the same ripper confessed.
"Are you new to this crew?" I asked, bewildered that one of Fisto's own demons couldn't understand him.
"No," the demon replied, his tone implying that he agreed with me.
"Where is he? I'm really tempted to make this verbal shorthand bullshit illegal," I grumbled while restoring Notepad to peak condition with one hand.
"He's either grilling some leeks or prosecuting a genocide against stag beetles, or maybe neither," the ripper sighed. I would have assumed that this had been disrespect if it had come from a different kind of demon. They could be sarcastic in tone, but they couldn't make things up.
"Yep, I'm going to force him to actually say full words," I decided.
"Thank oblivion for that," every single demon on the ship, and every nearby ship, said at the exact same time.
Perspective Change: Luna
Canterlot
"Well, this does line up with what Jay predicted," I sighed, making Cadence snicker.
"He's asked me to lure out some skeevy types before, yes, but never anything that I couldn't have handed myself. This will be exciting," Cadence confirmed.
I could only smile as I sipped my tea.
"Jay was rather insistent that your husband-to-be isn't told about any of this. Is that normal as well?" I mused.
"The only abnormal part so far is that Shining hasn't been either drugged or knocked out," Cadence replied with more amusement than I would have felt if our positions were reversed.
"Hmm, hopefully that won't have to continue," I commented.
"Agreed. How are you liking that tea? I have it imported from Prance," Cadence asked.
I nodded, "It's quite good. I confess, tea was never my drink of choice. I'm more of a coffee mare, third degree burns and all. Since you've got me thinking about it, how is Prance doing?"
"Politically? They're doing everything to claim neutrality," Cadence responded.
"A fair position for them to take," I agreed, "I'll see if we can do anything to help them with that."
Prance was not in any position to help us anyway, not with the gryphons as their northern neighbor and the minotaurs as their eastern ones. The best outcome for everyone was if they were left out of the conflict.
Perspective Change: Jekyll
The Belial's Bane
"Thaisnopaooude," Mephistopheles complained.
"I don't give a shit, I'm done with these fucking puzzles every time you speak," I retorted.
"Geovit," Fisto spat, for which I punched him in his agitating face. I didn't hit him hard enough to kill him, just bloody his mandibles and knock him down.
"There seems to be some kind of misunderstanding here," I growled, "You don't get to tell me to get over anything. You don't get to tell me to do anything. I tell you what to do. I am your king. I own you!"
Fisto pushed himself away from me as I advanced on him with my fist still clenched for another punch.
"If I hear any more of that stupid way you talk or get any reports that you use it behind my back…" I began, letting Fisto's imagination come up with all kinds of things for me.
He backed down and bent his back in submission, violating my rule against bowing to me. I allowed it this time, it cemented my right to rule among the other demons present.
"Get up before I feed your face to the fish," I ordered after a moment, "You will not harm Notepad again, nor order it done."
"Yes, my king," Mephistopheles gurgled through his damaged mandibles.
I turned my attention away from him and looked to my propagandist, "How's the leg?"
"It's still a little sore, but I'm alright. This will make for a great scene in my story," he decided, settling my fears that this had broken his resolve.
"I'm glad to-" I began before I was struck in the side of the head with a fireball. I slowly turned to see Mephistopheles glaring at me with three more fireballs ready and a fourth forming in his remaining hand, "You're going to eat those arms."
I blocked his shots at my face with an arm, letting each of the attacks disperse across my armor as I charged in to put the Greater back in his place.
I didn't bother using any martial arts, it wasn't needed. I just grabbed my subordinate by the throat and started punching, but kept it to non-lethal body shots for now.
I broke a few of his ribs before he tried to give up. His misfortune was that I'd already made a promise.
Notepad was already scribbling notes before I started tearing all four of Fisto's arms off one by one and forcibly inserting them into his throat.
It showed the durability of the Greaters that he took several minutes to die, even with all of his arms crammed to his stomach and sticking out of his broken jaws. I was pretty sure it was the blood loss that eventually did it.
I just waited for him to come back, not bothering to draw any weapons.
When Fisto did finally drag himself back into my sight, he did so with murderous intent.
I let his sword pierce my eye and punch out the back of my head, but did not let his leap carry him over me. I caught his foot and slammed him to the deck hard enough to make him choke up blood.
"Nice sword," I complimented, though he no longer held the weapon, "I'm giving it to Notepad as compensation for the pain you caused him."
"It isn't yours to give away," Fisto growled, for which I kicked him in the face.
"Wrong. I own you, therefore I own everything you mistakenly think you own," I corrected, "Which includes your face."
As I'd told Fang so long ago, demons didn't really care about being killed. Pain was needed to keep them in line.
Mephistopheles screamed like nothing I'd ever heard when I tore his face off of his skull, though I was careful not to leave any bones attached to it when I tossed it over the side for the fish.
"Test me again, I dare you," I snarled, giving my words enough time to be remembered before putting my boot through the demon's chest and letting him regenerate for a second time.
I heard a grunt and looked to see Notepad pulling his quill out of a ripper's arm to continue writing, apparently using blood now for some reason.
"Did you run out of ink?" I asked, rather surprised to see any violence from the unicorn.
"I did, in fact. Make this one stay here so I don't run out before I finish this scene," Notepad replied without even looking up.
I nodded to the ripper before turning my attention to a madly giggling succubus, "Take this sword to Jragden in the palace, I want a sheath and belt for it made to fit a pony."
The succubus nodded her understanding, so I pulled the weapon out of my eye and tossed it to her for her mission.
"My king, I accept your rule."
"I know you do, Mephistopheles. Don't make me kill you twice next time," I replied.
"Three times it shall be," he agreed, making me smile.
"Three times then," I permitted, "How'd the fight go against that armada the krakens warned us about?"
A cricket chirped, which was rather unique on a metal ship in the middle of the ocean.
"You did chase down that fleet while I was gone, right?" I pressed.
"We found a fleet," Fisto replied, his limbs pulling towards his body as he anticipated another punch.
I just stared at him for a solid minute, keeping my face neutral.
"You have one job," I finally stated, "All you have to do is wipe out every fleet they put on this ocean. Is that too difficult?"
Again, Mephistopheles declined to say anything.
"Get it done or I'll take this ship from you and sail it right into every one of the minotaur and gryphon harbors until either all of them are destroyed or this ship sinks. Is that incentive enough?" I ordered.
"Yes, my king," Fisto responded, his voice wavering slightly.
"I'll send one of my enforcers through to keep you from getting distracted," I added after a second to think, "That'll have to cover it while I deal with the forces you allowed to land."
Fisto flinched at that accusation, which was a well founded reaction. He caught the back of my hand to the side of his head when he looked back up at me, but this was nothing more than a formal Tartaran reprimand.
"Notepad, this last part didn't happen. No ships escaped because of negligence," I called.
"Have you heard me taking notes?" Notepad replied. I had not.
"Good pony," I praised, "You want anything sent through with my enforcer? A favorite meal?"
"I don't suppose you have a mare in your employ?" He requested, but his tone and the laughter that followed were enough to signal that it was a joke, "Just a hayburger and fries, something to remind me of home."
"I'll send two," I agreed before returning below deck and through my portal.
I considered the power I was abusing as I passed into Tartarus, a power meant to destroy countless lives. I used it in place of teleportation, something it was never meant to do. This amused me to no end.
I cut open another portal and emerged onto Abaddon, finding Luna sunbathing on the deck.
"Abaddon, have Tzu send me an India or Romeo with a naval warfare fascination. I'm sure we have at least one," I ordered.
"You don't know?" Luna mused without otherwise moving.
"I haven't needed one before," I replied, "Oh and Abaddon, send Tzu as well."
Now Luna sat up to see what was happening.
"Wha-" Luna managed before she had an armorless me flop across her lap.
"Nothing to worry about," I lied.
"Jay," Luna warned, "You don't lay on me, I lay on you. Now quit being attractive and tell me what's actually happening."
"Attractive she says," I teased.
"Stop it, we're near enough to being in public," Luna admonished, "This isn't the time for flirting, and you know I didn't say that. I said ‘annoying’."
"No, Mistress, you did not," Tzu responded as he announced his presence.
"Just the enforcer I wanted to see. We need Cadia, how close is it to being completed?" I greeted as I popped back to my feet.
Tzu's shoulders tensed.
"It's built and staffed, but the ponies are rookies siphoned from other units. They would have just reached a hundred percent staffing a day and a half ago," Tzu reported, "They have two Gammas for training and leadership, but the primary force is thirty ponies of mixed variety. One pegasus for message delivery, four unicorns for support, and the rest are earth ponies."
"That'll be plenty," I assured him, "It's a small force moving up from the badlands and they have no logistic train."
"That should give them some good experience," Tzu agreed, relaxing at last.
"What about my boat guy?" I prompted.
"Pulled off of another duty, he should be arriving in a few hours," Tzu replied.
"Have him pick up a couple hayburgers and some fries on his way, we're treating Notepad for his work," I added before another thing popped into my mind, "Oh, Luna, I got so caught up in the war that I never told you. We need to start drafting our marriage announcement."
"The war is on, that's right," Luna reasoned, "In that case, you can go back to being flirtatious."
I smiled and instead picked her up to be carried on my shoulder, "Abaddon, put my armor away."
"In the normal place?" Abaddon asked as he formed a secondary.
"Yes, that'll be fine," I agreed as I carried Luna inside the leviathan.
"Is there a reason I'm being treated like luggage?" Luna asked once we were totally secluded.
"Well, I was thinking that I'd take advantage of something you said in Canterlot a while back. Not sure why, whimsy perhaps?" I postulated.
Luna needed a moment to recall exactly what I was referencing, then started squirming her way into a different position. She settled back down once we were chest to chest, both of my hands now required on her flanks to keep her balanced while her hooves rested around my neck.
She carefully adjusted her head until all I could see were her eyes, though she did this by pressing the side of her horn into the top of my head and allowing me to deform around it rather than letting me get stabbed out of impatience.
Luna's eyes held a mix of excitement, vindication, and fear.
"Walk faster," Luna ordered.
Perspective Change: Luna
Twelve Hours Later
Abby awoke me to swap the sun and my moon, just like every other morning. Unlike every other morning, I was physically incapable of getting out of bed.
I wasn't entirely sure what had Jay so lovey last night, nor why he still had my entire body ensnared, but he was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him.
"Send a Mike to Tia, have her handle it today," I wheezed, conscious of the tendrils inside my chest and wrapped around my heart and lungs.
Once Abby's secondary nodded and sunk back into the wall, I was left alone to decide whether I was insane for letting Jay do this to my vital organs. It sure as the moon wasn't comfortable for me, even bordering on being painful, yet it was also endearing in a way. Slightly threatening and extremely scary, but endearing all the same.
After some time, I concluded that I was a madmare for allowing this to become a repeat occurrence. I also decided that this was an insanity I could live with.
Jay's eyes opened to reveal a piercing blue hue, rather than the red I'd gotten used to. In fact, they initially caught the light in an odd way and looked green.
He pulled me in even tighter than I was already being held, "Good morning gorgeous."
That last word snapped me out of whatever love haze had held me since last night. Jay did not speak like that, ever. I was in a lot of danger, either from some force controlling him or an imposter skilled enough to fool even Abaddon.
"Jay has never called me that, who are you really? Discord? Fate? Six?" I accused, knowing I couldn't escape but that Abby could avenge me.
He kissed me rather than answer, something I couldn't avoid with how my neck and even my horn were wrapped in a mix of arms and tendrils. It served nothing but to highlight just how trapped I was.
"I haven't, have I?" The false Jay mused, "Inspect my dream, you know how unique it is. Will that ease your mind?"
I nodded as much as I was able to do so, prompting him to close his eyes.
Though I preferred to do this while I too was sleeping, spells were spells and I easily entered his dreamscape.
It looked just like every other time I'd been here. The tendril tree and gently undulating field.
This really was Jay beside me.
That thought gave me a moment of relief before I felt a hand land on the shoulder of my dream self.
"Why are you being so affectionate?" I asked as I moved out of his reach and turned to face him, "This isn't like you."
Jay only smiled and moved to sit against the tree. I followed, but kept a bit of distance to show my uncertainty.
"Things are only going to get worse," he began, then seemed to lose his train of thought and just stared at me for several seconds.
"We've prepared for this," I countered, though it was more to draw some kind of explanation out of him.
"We've prepared for what we think will happen. Which they've planned around. Which I've planned around. Which they've planned around. Ad infinitum. It doesn't matter, it'll be a clusterfuck. It's always a clusterfuck," Jay sighed.
"That doesn't explain your odd behavior," I noted.
"I'm taking a selfish moment and indulging in something from my culture. A trope, if you like," he offered as he closed his eyes and leaned the entire tree back to find a more comfortable position.
I knew the trope, I'd read more than one book in my life. Moon and stars, it had even been done in that dreadful Trials filth. The romantic moment before going off to fight, it was a tired cliché before I was born.
"Is that all?" I asked, my suspicions dead and buried to be replaced with depression.
"I didn't discover any new emotion, if that's what you're getting at. Passion is still a myth. No, that isn't true. Holding you like this does spark something, I just don't have a name for it. I like this feeling," Jay pondered, his eyes still shut. I was reminded of how I'd left my body, how I'd questioned my sanity for allowing it, "You hate it."
"I don't hate it," I argued, but I was lying.
Jay opened his eyes to stare the truth out of me.
"I don't hate it," I insisted, "I'm just not used to it enough to be comfortable. I'll get there."
"I don't breathe like you do, my lungs only exist to facilitate talking. I don't have a heart or a pulse, my blood is pushed along by flagella inside my veins," Jay commented.
"Making my breathing and heartbeat something to hold on to," I reasoned, "I knew all of this, except the blood thing. That doesn't change how strange it feels."
"Does it hurt?" Jay asked.
"Not really, I'm a little short of breath and I can feel it inside my chest," I confessed.
Jay didn't say anything, but his face actually showed sorrow. It was a rare day when his emotions were this easy to read.
The dream collapsed around me in an instant, dropping me back into my body as all of the arms and tendrils binding me pulled away. Jay continued to look sad as he rolled over to face the wall.
"I'm sorry, I'll go back out to the Bane," Jay stated. I reached out to stop him, but he pulled himself through the wall just ahead of my hoof. I let my leg go slack rather than scratching the paint.
There wasn't any paint, Abby made it look like painted walls for my comfort.
"Abby, please soundproof the room," I requested.
"Already done," Abby replied with a gentle tone before sinking away.
That was one luxury I actually appreciated at this moment, the ability to stop anyone from hearing me cry.
Perspective Change: Jekyll
Somewhere On The Ocean
"Fistoooo, find me something to kill," I whined.
"What?" Mephistopheles and Notepad asked at the same time.
"Find me something to kill," I repeated.
"Why are you talking like that?" Notepad continued.
I just turned around and walked back into my palace, refusing to return until after I'd had a few strong drinks.
Returning slightly drunk and somehow more depressed, I found Fisto holding up one of his rippers as an offering.
"No, not like that. He didn't do anything. C'mere ripper buddy, it's gonna be okay," I cooed as I took the ripper into a gentle hug.
I didn't release the demon, rather tightening my grip over several minutes until his bones began to break. I held eye contact with Mephistopheles as I crushed his servant to death in my arms and let the corpse burn against me.
"I want an enemy ship," I declared, "I want to feel blood running between my claws."
"Keep going, this is good," Notepad urged as he furiously scribbled his notes.
"No, I don't think I need to hear a Fang style rant spoken with that voice," a different voice decided, making me turn towards the portal behind me.
"Luna," I began, but she held up a hoof to stop me.
"I know everything that you're about to say. What I don't know is why you're hurting this much. What was it I said that hurt you so?" Luna asked.
"Remember when I said that I didn't have any magic I was willing to use? Things from demons and the like?" I responded, "It's not just from demons."
Luna looked puzzled for a second before her eyes widened.
"I understand why you'd reject that, but that's not what was happening," Luna countered.
"It was similar enough," I insisted.
"Do you two have to speak in vagaries?" Notepad complained.
"Yes, this isn't for you to document," I snapped.
"Jay, we've discussed this. My dear pony, it is simply a personal matter neither of us would like the world to know about," Luna chided.
"Like what?" Fisto asked, getting himself shot for his indiscretion. He'd be fine, it was just a flesh wound.
"Like what?" Notepad repeated, correctly assuming that I wouldn't be as quick to shoot him.
He was instead ignored as Luna took my hand in her telekinesis and led me back to Abaddon.
"Whether you're upset or not, we still need to give that speech we planned. So sober up, Abby is already over Canterlot and Tia is waiting for us," Luna ordered.
"I expected you to put that off for another day," I confessed.
"I want to, Abby didn't give me a choice," Luna replied.
"Sounds like him," I agreed.
I got cleaned up while Luna put on one of her gowns and her wedding bracelet before we walked out onto the deck, Abaddon was already looming over the city, his attention occasionally fixing on a single pony. That pony would then be intercepted by enforcers already on the ground and revealed to be a changeling before being executed and hauled away for tallying.
I looked at Luna, expecting a quick teleport into the castle, but she was ruffling her wings in preparation for flight instead. I shrugged and formed my own set to accompany her.
Chelly met us in the street just outside of the castle, her mood as dark as ours were.
"You promised me, Luna. I will never forgive you if you break that promise," Chelly warned.
"Shut up you worthless, crippled sack of glue," I spat, effectively concluding our greetings.
Chelly nodded and we formed an odd group as we made our way to the balcony reserved for public addresses. The very same one Luna had made her war preparation speech from, though that felt like it had been a lifetime ago.
I stood in the middle, with Chelly to my right and Luna to my left, though Chelly was the furthest forward and most visible as scores of Canterlot ponies gave her their attention.
"My little ponies, we are living through tumultuous times. Never doubt that we, as those trusted with your safety and prosperity, are doing everything possible to earn that trust. With that in mind, I am burdened with a conflict most personal," Chelly began.
She gave them time to quiet down before resuming her speech.
"If we maintain our silence, then we are denying you your right to scrutinize our leadership. If we divulge that information, we burden you with undue stress you neither need nor deserve," Chelly concluded, marking my time to step forward.
"The choice was not easy to make, but your right to know is absolute. There is little privacy for royalty, but this is a sacrifice we make when we put on the crown," I added, dropping the first hints of what was to come.
Luna moved forward now, intentionally going under my arm so it would drape across her shoulders.
"Take heart in this, even if everything else spoken here disturbs you, nothing directly affecting your lives is going to change because of this," Luna offered.
"We spent a significant amount of time discussing how to say this, but Luna and I got married months ago," I revealed, "But we're busy so Celestia is going to graciously continue being a pain in my-"
"Jay! That's not the script we agreed to," Luna admonished, "And there are foals present, no swearing."
"I suppose that's clear enough," Chelly sighed, "The nobles are going to have my horn for this, but there's nothing I can do about it."
"Nah, you'll just get yelled at," I countered, "You've been yelled at before."
Luna gave the crowd below a long suffering look, "It's like this all the time, help me."
Despite our claims to the contrary, every single syllable had been planned. The crowd bought it and the distraction of our antics kept them from getting emotional.
The nobles were far more used to politicking and would see right through it, but they were an issue for later.
Chelly and I continued bickering as Luna pushed us back out of sight.
"Good shit Chelly," I praised, even if just thinking those words made me need a bleach shower.
"To you as well," Celestia replied with a nod, "Even though that was the easy part."
We walked together into the Senate chamber, which was in absolute chaos. Discord didn't even bother to hide himself as he sat in the corner eating jelly beans, just watching it all unfold with a smile on his face.
"Do you think they would notice if I killed one of them?" I asked quietly.
"I really don't," Luna answered, "Best not to test that, we're going to have a hard enough time."
"Fine," I sighed, drawing my hammer and dropping it at my feet. The crash of it impacting the floor was enough to silence the room, "Settle down, nothing has changed for you."
"Princess Celestia, is it true?" One mare asked, her entire body shaking as tears ran down her face.
"Jekyll and my sister married shortly after her return from the moon, that much is true," Chelly confessed.
The mare howled and fell onto her side as she cried even harder than before.
I didn't let it bother me, I'd seen similar scenes enough times. I'd also gone down the road of taking it personally and knew exactly what manner of mistake that was.
I let the madness continue for a few more seconds before bellowing for silence and putting on an expression of anger.
"Quit your sniveling, you chickenshits. You want to be afraid? Then shut the hell up and go unnoticed. You want procedures? Don't bow to me. You have questions? Put up a hoof and wait to be called on. I will not tolerate this kind of rabble from those charged with representing the common folk," I snarled, seeing a hoof slowly raise from the mob, "Good job, what do you want to know?"
"Are we going to have to live in Tartarus now?" The stallion asked.
I hesitated, "Why would you?"
"Well, it's a kingdom. It has a longer history and a more martial pedigree. Legally, Equestria should be absorbed into Tartarus," the stallion clarified.
"No, they'll remain separate," I answered.
"I am to remain as regent, as well, which should make the impact of this as minimal as possible," Chelly added, though I had promised no such thing to her. I'd told that plan to Luna though, so it made sense that she'd pass it along.
"Indeed," Luna agreed, "Jekyll and I are focused on the war."
"After which I mean to retire again," I stated, getting looks from all around, "Is this surprising? I have no interest in politics. I'll be building myself a nice home and only intervening when things get too far out of line."
"Jay, that wasn't in the plan," Luna noted, "We're leaving, something is making you ill."
I didn't feel sick, nor had I ever since I stopped being human, but Luna had a point. I'd just gotten lost in a daydream.
"I'm-" I attempted before Luna took my hand and dragged me away from the nobles. I didn't resist until she tried to take Cataclysm from its sheath.
"I can't teleport your armor," Luna stated, receiving a nod in return as I drew my sword and made a shortcut back to Abaddon.
"I don't know what's going on with me," I admitted once we were safely secured in our room, "It isn't stress, I've been in far worse positions than this. I'm upset, but that's not new. I didn't want to be a king the first time around, much less twice over. I don't know."
Luna let me ramble, adding only a wing across my back.
"I disagree," Luna finally responded after I petered out, "I think it's stress. You've never had Fate manipulating you before, nor have you needed to balance so many things just to keep me from spontaneously dying."
That made me bare my teeth as the face of that monster appeared in my mind.
"See, even Chrysalis doesn't make you this angry," Luna pointed out, "Though it doesn't really make sense with how you're showing it."
"Just need to get into a fight, something tangible instead of all the politics. That'll give me something to focus on," I decided.
"Not me, I hope," a different voice commented.
"Abaddon, why did you let Dee in here?" I sighed.
"My understanding is that there's a truce," Abaddon replied.
"Yes, about that. I understand that you attacked one of the Free a week ago," Dopple noted, "Fortunately, we've cut him out of our faction."
"He was going to kill me," Luna added, making Dopple pause.
"He left that part out, but I fully believe you. That's why we banished him, after all. Actually, that makes this a much easier pill to swallow," Dopple mused, "Yes, this is a moral good."
"What is?" I prompted.
"Crimson's lairs and faces, he's all yours," Dopple replied as he held up something resembling a meatball. I let him toss it to me and broke it down for the information contained inside its gooey brainy interior the moment it touched my palm.
"Your timing is as perfect as ever Dee," I praised.
"I will be staying out of it this time, burning Fang once was too many times," Luna responded.
"Good hunting, I'm going to go back to my side of this," Dopple bid before turning and walking back out.
I slapped Luna's shoulder, "Didn't I tell you he was on our side?"
"That's not how I read that interaction, seemed more neutral to me," Luna reasoned.
"And yet he just gave up one of their best fighters," I pointed out.
"That Crimson rogue is one of their best? That would have been good to know before I was in a room with it," Luna commented.
"I don't know every name they've picked for themselves. I didn't identify Gamma thirty-one dash four until I saw him," I retorted, getting defensive.
Luna shook her head, "Go kill that thing, see if it helps you."
"Don't have to tell me twice," I replied, inwardly hoping that I was right about this.
200 Years Later
As fond as this memory was for me, that was only because I now regarded all of those days fondly. They were the good days.
If only I could have that kind of stress again.
Captain Price was right all along, the only easy day was yesterday.
"Stop screaming, I'm trying to brood here," I admonished, though the pegasus I was in the process of eating didn't quiet down. I broke his neck after a few more seconds, ending his pain and the disruption to my tranquility.
I kept the bones, as breaking them into ever smaller pieces was the only sound to grace the cave I called home. The skull got tossed onto the pile by the cave mouth, ideally to actually warn away the next set of fools.
Who was I kidding? They'd step over the pile just like every group before them.
Author's Note
I think I've had enough scenes in the Dark Future for everyone to know at this point that it's cannon. Since somewhere around chapter 10, this story got fully planned out as a 4 part series. Book 4 starts in that cave. That should be enough of a peek behind the curtain for now.
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