Monster is as Monster Does

I was beginning to get frustrated, as every one of Crimson's boltholes had been empty. All but one, the one inside Canterlot Castle.

Bold move, you rogue bastard. The last place I'd look.

"Jekyll? What are you doing? Those boots are liable to wake the dead," Chelly complained as she emerged from her chambers wearing a nightgown and sleeping cap that I'd never seen before.

"Removing a thorn in both of our sides," I replied, "I'll be gone soon, go back to bed."

Chelly did not go back to bed, but then again, she never was one to listen.

"Actually, I had some things I needed to go over with you if you don't mind a walk and talk," Chelly countered as she moved up to walk beside me, an act that made me nauseous.

"Such as?" I prompted, keeping my tone professional to hide my ever-present disdain for her.

"How Equestria might pay back the bits we owe you," Chelly clarified.

I slowed my pace as I considered my answer.

"The cost has gone beyond annual tax revenue," I deduced.

"Annual? It'd take fifteen years if we didn't have to pay out the war bonds," she scoffed, "I know you're a land baron. I'm prepared to transfer Equestrian territory to Tartarus if it'll settle this debt."

"You have my undivided attention," I stated as I stopped walking.

"The Northern Wastes are my immediate assumption given that it would grant you a buffer to protect your Crystal Kingdom," Chelly offered.

"Add Everfree and Ponyville, that'll make us square," I added.

"Done for Everfree, Ponyville is a bit much," Chelly replied. I'd expected far more resistance over the Everfree Forest, it was where her original castle had been after all. Regardless, I wasn't about to interrupt my enemy when she was making a mistake.

"It's the only profitable area I'd be taking. The wastes and the forest don't do anything for my coffers," I countered.

Chelly pursed her lips, "Does it matter? You're the king of both nations now, a penstroke away from merging Equestria and Tartarus."

"The title switches to emperor once the individual rules multiple territories," I offered, "Not that it matters, I won't be doing any such thing."

"My question stands," Chelly pointed out.

"The vaults of Tartarus and my accounts are the same thing. I consider this to be a foolish mistake I made before I knew anything about governing. I try very hard not to make the same mistake twice, which means that all of these accounts will remain separate. The only benefit is that I won't be calling debt collectors on myself," I explained.

Celestia nodded, saying nothing for several minutes but continuing to walk beside me as I got moving again.

"Where exactly are we going?" Celestia asked.

"I know where Crimson is hiding, I'm going to kill him," I answered.

I was not prepared for what followed that innocent sentence.

I was abruptly captured in a telekinetic aura and spun ninety degrees to my left to face my oldest nemesis, but she acted before I could break free of her grip. Celestia did not set me on fire or stab me with her head. She did not teleport me into the sun or any of the other myriad of things I might have expected from her.

She kissed me.

Hard.

With tongue.

My panicked haymaker caught the side of her neck and threw her away from me, but not before doing a lethal amount of damage. Celestia was almost decapitated by the punch, her flesh effectively exploded away from her shattered spine.

"Fuck," I swore, "All this time wanting to do that and I still need you alive."

Celestia gurgled something unintelligible, but it was her face that I was concerned about. She was smiling.

It had to be agony for her, but I was in a different kind of pain as I put her back together right there on the floor of the hallway. The second I had her bones rebuilt and her flesh back where it was supposed to go, she lunged at me as if to pick up where she had left off.

I scrambled backwards, too rattled to think beyond just putting some distance between myself and whatever madness had captured Chelly.

Then the worst possible thing happened. My back struck a wall.

I managed to get my hands up to stave off her advances, but it took a two handed grip on her muzzle to leverage any kind of non-damaging control over her.

"Stop this," I ordered sternly, "I wouldn't cheat on Luna even if we didn't have the history we share."

That got her to quit, even stepping back without needing to be pushed.

"You still hate me," Chelly deduced.

"I'll never stop hating you," I promised.

"I'm a fool. I thought maybe we'd started moving towards reconciling. I thought maybe you were doing this because Crimson tortures my ponies. I thought I could thank you for saving them," Celestia confessed.

She was standing once more, so I got back on my feet to return to being eye level with her.

My answer was to grace Celestia with a calculated backhand slap, but it wasn't nearly as hard as it could have been. It was just enough to hurt and turn her head, enough to bruise but not dislodge any teeth.

"Don't lie to me, I know all your tells by now," I growled, "A thank you kiss would have been a peck on the cheek. Though still inappropriate and grounds for a fight, it would have conveyed the message. You did not do that."

"I didn't do that," Celestia agreed.

"So what did you do?" I prompted.

Celestia just looked at me, unwilling to tell the truth. Her face said enough.

"Don't tell Luna," Chelly finally requested, making me laugh.

"Tell her what?" I demanded, "That her only living family is so jealous of her that you're trying to come onto me in the middle of a random hallway?"

"Jekyll, I didn't mean-" Chelly attempted.

"To get rejected," I interrupted.

Chelly looked away, at least appearing to be ashamed of herself. I had my doubts about if she even possessed that emotion.

"You can have Ponyville," she allowed.

I didn't say anything as I turned away from her and resumed my mission of murder. Hopefully Crimson would have missed that entire exchange. It was no great loss if he did hear us arguing, as it meant that our battlefield would be somewhere less populated.

I rounded another corner to find my prey waiting for me.

"Option three then, you decided to face me like an enforcer should," I commented.

"How are you my enemy? You made us. You know better than anyone that we are superior beings. It is the nature of all things that the strong rule over the weak. You prove it yourself, collecting kingdoms," Crimson argued.

"We are physically and mentally superior," I agreed, "Our physical strength exceeds every other race on this world and our perfect memories and immortal lives allow for scholastic excellence."

"Then why do you deny us our birthright?" Crimson seethed.

"Because you're wrong about the rest of that ideology," I replied easily, letting Crimson come to me as his rage built, "You are morally deficient, making you inferior in that sense. And we do not have any right to rule, that doesn't exist."

Crimson growled as he came within striking distance, though I held myself back for now. He was still on guard, not yet consumed with this inane debate.

"The strong have a responsibility to protect those weaker than themselves," I stated, "That doesn't need to mean a kind of rulership, it can be as simple as the things we have done before you turned against us."

"That is weakness," Crimson decided, "You are just unwilling to take what is yours. I have no such weakness."

"You have plenty of other ones," I countered, giving him just long enough to notice how close he was to my face before my claws punctured his chest.

I got some of his mass before he tore himself away from me, leaving a pair of craters in his torso before they had a chance to fill in.

"Hmm, not many have that amount of control once I grab them," I mused as I sauntered forward with a grin. Now was the perfect time to beat him with his own arguments and an abundance of swagger.

"I have purged the weakness you put in me," Crimson snarled.

"Even this one?" I asked as my eyes turned black. Crimson was instantly ensnared by the incubus mind control, but fought through it enough to tear his eyes out and free himself, "Impressive, but not good enough."

He tried to dodge, but there was no attack just yet. I was still gauging him, deciphering his habits and how to exploit them.

Crimson remained blind to protect his mind as he used my footfalls to zero in on where in the hallway I was.

"Pure arrogance, that's what fuels you. All this about being superior and having the right to rule, I thought my lessons would have taught you better than that. I thought my example would be sufficient warning. Rulership is horrible, something to be avoided unless there is no other option," I lectured, but this was a cover. My voice would dominate his echolocation and mask the sounds of the little organisms I was spawning as they scampered along the walls behind Crimson.

"You're nothing but a failure," one of the organisms added, speaking in my voice and making Crimson turn towards it and lash out at the wall. A different one mimicked my boots, confusing Crimson further.

I saw the fear beginning to manifest and moved in for the kill, catching his arms and tearing them off.

Crimson screamed as I kicked him away, keeping his severed arms and absorbing them.

"Do you understand yet?" I asked.

"I am vindicated," Crimson declared as he stood up, though he didn't spend the mass to regenerate his arms, "The strong dominate the weak."

"In this case, yes," I allowed before plunging my claws into his chest and tearing him in half lengthwise, "You weren't mentally superior either, or you never would have tried to fight me."

The halves lacked the ability to fight back on anything but a cellular level, but that was where I reigned supreme.

"Did you mean all of that?" A different voice asked. I didn't turn away from my meal to respond.

"Yes, Chelly, I never wanted to be a king or anything of the sort. Every title has been forced on me," I replied.

"Then why continue with any of it? You didn't have to help Twilight or save Luna or any of it," Chelly continued.

I finished cleaning up Crimson's remains and all of my little helpers before bothering to respond, even though the answer was easy.

"It was right," I stated simply.

Celestia stared at me for a long moment.

"You could very well die in this war," Celestia noted, "All that because it was right?"

"I've fought worse for the same reason," I countered.

"Yet you benefit from all of this," she attempted. I knew her meaning, my political and social standing was going through a meteoric rise.

"Really? No, I'm sacrificing far more on this than I can justify," I refuted.

"By the sun, you believe that," Chelly accused, her eyes widening in disbelief, "You truly believe that my entire life is wrong."

I didn't reply with words. I stared directly into her eyes. It was enough.

"Of course you do, what am I saying? You hate everything about me. You probably hate rulership because I rule Equestria. It isn't about the cost to your time or the responsibility, it's about being my opposite," Celestia accused.

I allowed her to believe whatever she wanted to believe, maintaining my silence as I cut open a portal and returned to Tartarus.

"Jay," Harry greeted as I passed.

"Have you ever felt like everything you're working towards is… like a sandcastle with the tide coming in? I don't know, I don't have a word for this," I asked.

"Ah, you just killed someone," Harry deduced.

I laughed at that.

"One of the Rogues," I confirmed, "A real bastard."

"So why are you depressed? You aren't upset after killing changelings or pirates or demons," Harry mused.

"It isn't what I'm killing, it's how. I can pull the limbs off a zebra assassin without blinking, but someone I know is different. I can behead an enemy in battle, but overseeing a completely one sided warzone feels like murder," I offered.

"Pretty sure that's called a sense of honor, boss," Harry replied.

"Maybe, but I'm becoming more emotional on the whole. I'm changing and I don't understand how or why," I confessed. If no one else could be trusted with my inner conflicts, Harry could.

"I have no advice for you on that. I suspect that it may be related to all the time you are spending with Queen Luna, but that's just a guess," Harry responded.

"Obviously, she's the only new variable. Wars and traitors and whatnot are old hat, if a bit different in type and scale. She's the only thing I've never experienced before," I agreed.

"Then either kill her or adapt to this new state of being," Harry advised.

"You're all heart, buddy," I laughed, forever amused by how ripper minds worked.

An odd thought wandered into my mind, compelling me to inspect that strange painting by the main doors one more time. Likely just proximity to it and the simple fact that no one had confessed to painting the damn thing.

I walked back and tried to place the figures shown. Failing that, I tried to match the background with any geography I recognized.

I had to tilt my head to find it, but I saw a seam in the landscape. Following it down, I found an answer I wasn't ready for. This scene was inside of a massive room, a room large enough for a ranch style home with an expansive yard to exist within.

I looked back to the people portrayed, no longer trying to find anyone I knew and instead just matching their shapes to anything I could recognize.

Luna and I were the easy ones, so they didn't count.

There was some kind of humanoid fox cyborg in the front row, but it didn't quite match the swindlers I'd had the misfortune of dealing with during my misadventures near the Badlands.

"Is that the God Emperor in the back?" I wondered aloud.

I really wasn't sure. The man was massive, had the glowing eyes, and the pretty black hair. What threw me off was two things of note. One being the rest of the people in the picture, which wouldn't be the company a radical xenophobe kept. The other was the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt whose arrow pointed at where I stood amongst the group.

"This is just bizarre. I know it's some kind of gag but it could be a little less stupid. Fate, this is the least creative stunt you've pulled," I grumbled before moving on.

One of the figures seemed separate from the rest despite being in the middle of the shot. Other than being so deep in the uncanny valley that excavation equipment had clearly been involved, all the rest were just far enough away to avoid accidentally touching this one.

Just as I was writing this odd one off and moving on to inspect another, it winked at me.

The painting moved.

I discovered that it could also bleed when I slammed my claws into it, finding something of substance within the painting and tearing it out to throw at the opposite wall.

It was that unplaceable abomination, whose face made my spine tense and my teeth itch.

She, and it was very female now that it was bloodied up, naked, and screaming on the floor of my palace, didn't try to defend herself beyond shielding her face with her arms.

"Who and what the fuck are you?" I demanded, ready to maul this thing if she did anything I didn't like.

To my shock, she pulled a piece of paper out of her ear and unrolled it before reading aloud.

"I can't say much without causing a paradox. You send me here because you'll need hope in the coming years. Things do eventually get better. Much better," the strange woman-thing quoted.

The forest of horns atop her head, initially mistaken for a crown, tilted back as she looked up to gauge my reaction.

I stepped back and gave her a clear path back to the painting, which she took. I just watched in silence as she took her place in the painting, her lack of clothing now hidden by the other people portrayed.

I used Cataclysm to set that particular painting on fire, not taking my eyes off of it until nothing remained but the frame and ash.

My mind lingered for a moment. Not on the insanity of what had just happened, but rather on how I couldn't name any of the millions of colors present on the woman-thing's skin.

"I'm gonna chalk that up to a mutation induced hallucination and try really hard to not hurt myself trying to understand it. No, Pinkie did it. Or Discord is pissy again. Yep, one of those," I decided, making it an entire three steps before I was rudely interrupted from dealing with this mental flashbang.

"Hey Jack, can I ask a favor?" A voice asked in my mind.

Only one person would think to call me that.

"Not the best time Larry, weird shit is happening around me," I replied, talking into the signet ring on my left hand.

"Me too. I'm sorry, I know we aren't friends like this but I don't have anyone else I could ask. Could you watch my dog for a day?" Artorias requested.

Instantly, all of my anger and confusion lessened.

"You have a dog?" I confirmed.

"Didn't you play Dark Souls?" Artorias asked.

"No."

"Oh, well, she's a sweetheart and a Displaced like us. She answers to either Sif, Melon, or Melanie," Artorias continued.

"You call your dog Melon? Yeah, I can look after her for as long as you need," I allowed.

“Thanks Jack, I'll send her over,” Artorias replied, sounding far more grateful than expected for such a small favor.

A rift opened in front of me just like how Artorias had first appeared, except that a wolf three times my size came out of it instead of a knight in decayed armor.

“Wow, you're a big one. Are you gonna be a good girl for me, Melon?” I asked, doing the same baby voice that everyone did when talking to a cute dog.

That got my entire front licked by a happy wolf. I chose to take this as a good sign.

“Alright, come on, let's go outside. I could really use something as simple as a game of fetch right now,” I suggested. As strange as it was, this massive wolf seemed to understand every word I said and happily followed me through a fresh portal and out of one of Shy’s exterior walls.

“Jay, the smell of Tartarus is disturbing all the animals,” Shy complained.

“I know, but I'm just passing through to hit up that field over there,” I replied before Melon emerged behind me.

“Is that a demon?” Shy squeaked as she darted behind the corner of her house.

“Nope, just dogsitting. Gonna go unwind with a game of fetch,” I corrected as I closed the portal and led Melon out into the field.

It only occurred to me then that I didn't have a suitable stick for this game, nor a ball for that matter. Making either out of my flesh wasn't a good option given how such a thing would be retrieved by Melon.

No, I did have one stick.

I drew my hammer and set the head on the ground before unlocking it from the haft, returning it to being the spear it started life as.

“Ok, Melon. This is the best stick I have, but please be gentle with it. It was supposed to be a gift for my daughter, one I still mean to give her someday,” I requested, getting a solemn nod from the wolf.

I returned the nod before reeling back and throwing the spear like a normal person would throw a stick, with it spinning through the air on a high parabolic arc.

Melon took off after it with visible glee and managed to catch it out of the air before bringing it back to me. I'd thrown it slightly over a mile, so I decided to double that distance for my next throw. I was going to make sure Melon got her money's worth out of this game.

Perspective Change: Trixie

Both Octavia and Vinyl had twisted my leg to get me this far, but taking another step towards that town was likely to kill me from fear alone. I could feel my heart attacking the inside of my ribs in a desperate effort to flee even if it meant leaving the rest of my body behind.

I was paralyzed in place, torn between terror and shame.

At least I was until a spear came over the horizon and slammed into the ground in front of me. It was so close that I didn't even have time to jump back before it flexed and hit me square in the center of my nose.

I yelped and finally jumped away in fear and pain, but was so puzzled that I didn't flee just yet. Where had a spear of all things come from? Why had it been thrown so far?

Who threw it was obvious and turned my blood to ice as I finally found the sense to run away.

I turned and screamed.

There was a giant wolf behind me.

It was looking at me.

I couldn't escape this time, I just dropped to the ground and cowered. I felt the hot air rush over me as the wolf sniffed me, then wetness as it licked the exposed part of my head. I could only assume that it was deciding on whether or not I would make for a tasty snack.

After a minute of not dying, I cracked an eye to find that the giant wolf was gone. My head popped up in confusion and I looked around for it.

The wolf was gone. The spear was gone too. I knew I hadn't hallucinated the entire event, the road was still torn up from where the spear had been and the claws of the wolf as it had gone around me towards the spear.

A moment later, that same spear came over the horizon again. This time it landed further away and I got to see the wolf bound up to it and retrieve it before running back the way it had come.

Everything clicked into place. They were playing fetch. I had nearly died as nothing more than collateral damage from their stupid game.

This was all the vindication I needed. Even without trying, Jekyll was too dangerous for me to be anywhere near. He was a monster worse than even an ursa major.

Perspective Change: Jekyll

“Did you cut yourself on the stick Melon? There's a spot of blood on the haft. Hold on, this is pony blood. Unicorn. Oh, oops, seems like Trixie was downrange and got bonked on the nose. Well, we can just add this onto the pile of trauma I've given that one,” I sighed, getting a look from Melon.

She let out a short whine.

“Just bad luck, nothing intentional. Except for the time I scared her into pissing herself, but she'd earned that one,” I explained.

Melon sat down and gave me a critical look.

“Yes, I took it too far,” I agreed.

A head tilt was added without a change in expression.

“Nothing. She wants nothing to do with me so I try to leave her alone. I keep tabs on everyone so it isn't hard to just not go to whatever town she's visiting. She'll die of old age in a few decades and that'll be the end of it,” I offered with a shrug.

Melon barked in disapproval.

“I tried that, she wasn't interested in an apology or money. She made it very clear that she wants me out of her life,” I insisted.

“Jay, you're arguing with a wolf,” Luna pointed out, making herself known at the same time.

“I'm arguing with a fellow Displaced… and losing,” I corrected.

Melon just laid down and looked smug about that last part.

“How?” Luna demanded, “Was this a human like you once?”

Melon allowed Luna to approach her and even got some ear scratches.

“No, I'm fairly certain she was a normal dog before. A very smart dog, but I find myself thinking that the conversion added a lot of brainpower along the way,” I replied as I acquiesced to Melon's clear request for a belly rub.

“Yet she can't speak,” Luna noted, “Though you make it sound like she understands every word and responds to the best of her abilities.”

“Yes, but that's more of a limitation of the shape of… okay, you've made a good point. One moment,” I began, trailing off as I realized that I could very likely grant Melon the ability to voice her thoughts.

I mentally considered the vocal structures of diamond dogs and how they would have to work within a creature as large as Melon.

“Hey Larry, got a question for you. How would you feel about me giving Melon the ability to speak?” I asked, speaking into my signet ring.

“Let her choose, but I'd rather she didn't have the ability to complain about not being allowed to sleep in my bed anymore,” Artorias responded.

“You don't even know how badly you just messed up. I'm gonna spoil this dog so hard you'll hear about it for years,” I taunted with an evil cackle.

“Nooooooo,” Artorias sarcastically cried with unhidden joviality before the connection was cut.

“Alright Melon, your choice. Do you want to be able to talk?” I asked.

Melon nodded awkwardly, given that she had fully rolled onto her back now and had Luna rubbing her chin. Dogs were the same all over.

Melon squirmed a little when I touched her throat and started sending tendrils under her skin to slither about as they remade her vocal cords into something capable of speech.

I had to do a little work to the jaw region as well so she would be able to actually pronounce things, but by then she had settled down to let me work. I'd never known any animal to be this calm during one of my procedures, most fully sapient people remained freaked out even after I was done.

“Okay, that'll do it. How are you feeling?” I tested.

“Hungry, haven't eaten in hours,” Melon answered without seeming to think about it.

“Fair enough, I'll pull up some meat and bones for you,” I allowed.

“How long is Melon staying with us?” Luna asked, “It's not a problem, but it's only been a scale of hours since I got an earful about the careful balance the enforcers have to maintain to keep from eating everything.”

“Just for today, possibly overnight,” I replied.

“Just one day? That's a shame. I don't even care for dogs that much and I like this one,” Luna commented, “Is this related at all to you burning that odd painting in Tartarus?”

“I don't want to talk about that, I'm still trying to figure out what happened there,” I requested.

“Well, what did happen?” Luna pressed, ignoring my wishes.

“A strange creature claiming to be from the future came out of it and told me that everything was going to be okay,” I summarized.

“Okay then, don't tell me. I'll just wait until you're ready to cut the sarcasm,” Luna responded with a frown.

I just stared at her for a few seconds.

“Oh, yeah, that's new,” Luna managed dumbly as she came to terms with the realization that I was being serious.

“The bullshit has been piling up so quickly lately. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to fighting in Canterlot,” I sighed.

“Until the killing ends and you get depressed again,” Luna teased.

“Don't you start too, I got enough of that from Harry today,” I complained, though I wasn't actually offended.

“Which you deserved,” Luna retorted before reconsidering, “No, I'm sorry. That was cruel of me to say. I'm not as naive as I once was, I know killing can be necessary, but it's incredible that you still hate it.”

I looked away, “I don't hate killing, it's those situations where it never should have been necessary that gets to me. Crimson should've never been exposed to that damn drug, never rebelled, never tortured anyone to death for something as stupid as power. I murdered my own creation for being the monster he was meant to protect the world from. Hunting and war don't trouble me like that.”

“Liar,” Luna gently accused.

I sighed. She was right, wasn't she? I proved it after every battle.

“You need cuddles,” Melon decided, “Too much thinking, time for food and naps.”

I snapped the head of my hammer back onto the spear and returned it to its place on my back.

“Something to eat does sound good,” I agreed.

When Artorias came to collect his dog, she was sleeping peacefully on top of a very uncomfortable and very awake Luna. They weren't even in a bed, just on the deck of Abaddon where Melon had flopped over and trapped Luna under her bulk.

In fairness, Luna wasn't being crushed and found the entire event just as amusing as I did. She definitely wasn't complaining when we made a game out of me tossing raisins at her exposed head while she tried to catch them in her mouth.

“Hey Jack, I hope Syf hasn't caused too much chaos,” Artorias greeted as he emerged from the rift.

“None at all, this was exactly what I needed to balance out how strange today has been,” I replied.

“Hi Papa,” Melon greeted, “I got to sleep on the bed.”

“So you did, but we don't have this much space at home,” Artorias attempted.

Melon whined as she pouted.

“Could be worse, I doubt Melon has gotten you wrapped up in a globe spanning war,” I pointed out.

“Hey, I resemble that remark,” Trapped Luna complained.

“How much are you willing to bet on that?” Artorias asked.

“You use bits?” I confirmed as I held up one of the coins. Artorias nodded, “Alright then, can you match a thousand?”

“I wasn't expecting you to take that seriously. I can do a thousand bit bet,” Artorias agreed.

“Alright then, my wager is that Syf or Melon has never gotten you stuck in a war,” I stated.

“Syf?” Artorias prompted.

Melon looked away, “We were going to end up fighting anyway.”

“She charged in to fight off some undead and save some people, which made us an enemy of the Abyss,” Artorias clarified.

“Well alright then,” I conceded as Abaddon passed me a bag of money through the floor. I trusted the sum to be accurate and tossed it to Artorias.

Artorias fumbled it, betraying issues with his left arm.

I moved to stand as soon as I saw the difficulty he had in moving his shoulder.

“You broke your arm again,” I accused as I moved in to begin fixing him.

“Blocked a hit that was harder than I was expecting. This arm feels much weaker than the other one,” Artorias offered as I rebuilt his shattered humerus and clavicle.

“I've quintupled the bone density, it'll cause problems if you try to swim and won't do much for your red cell count,” I warned.

“Never learned how to swim anyway,” Artorias replied with a shrug, “You know that pain, huh?”

“No, I'm pretty good at swimming. That one under your dog swims like a disabled goose though,” I corrected.

“Is it just the ‘pick on Luna’ hour?” My lovely wife griped.

“You were taught how to swim? Hold on, what's your last name?” Artorias demanded. I was officially getting put off by how offended he seemed to be by this.

“It was Robak, why? What does this matter?” I retorted.

“What is that? Polish? Sorry, for some reason I thought you were Vietnamese like me,” Artorias apologized.

Luna looked ready to scream. I felt a full body migraine threatening to start.

“What? That doesn't even make sense. Why wouldn't Vietnamese people be able to swim? Pools exist and it isn't like Vietnam is landlocked,” I responded after a half-second to figure out where my wits had gotten off to.

Now Artorias looked confused, “Yes it is.”

“Pardon?”

“Vietnam is a landlocked nation,” Artorias stated like I was the crazy one.

“Vietnam the skinny, kinda fish hook shaped, country that's mostly north and south? The one south of China?” I clarified.

“No, it's north of China and shares a border with the Soviet Monarchical States,” Artorias corrected.

“The what now?” I demanded, “Your Earth and my Earth are very different, apparently. You just described where Mongolia is, for another thing.”

“Are you trying to call me a mongoloid?” Artorias retorted.

“How do you have that term without a Mongolia?!” I near-shouted before forcing myself to take a breath and try to force this stupidity to end.

I looked at the charcoal colored skin of my hand. The action serving to draw emphasis to how far we both were from the squabbles of humanity.

“After a millennium, who actually gives a shit about who we were before that bastard stole us from our lives,” I began, “I'm not human anymore. I haven't been for a very long time. Perhaps you still are, just a different kind of human held together with twisted magic. Your skin is dull gray with some green showing in patches. You are a dead thing still breathing. A living corpse. Look at us and ask yourself if the people we were still exist.”

“It hasn't been a thousand years, it's been three weeks,” Artorias stated, his voice shaking.

“How interesting,” I mused, “You're either very new or time flows differently in our worlds.”

“It's both, my rift is keeping them moving at the same rate. Your world will go much faster than mine. I know I asked you to keep Syf for a day, but it's been four days for me,” Artorias revealed.

“Then you would've first spoken to me right after you arrived,” I deduced, “Were you running away?”

Artorias froze.

I saw Luna bite her fetlock in an effort to watch the unfolding drama without interference.

“Yes,” he finally confessed, “I’d just arrived and been backhanded through a stone wall. I died less than three minutes after arriving.”

“So you abandoned your dog and fled,” I accused, though I kept my tone free of judgment.

“And my little sister,” Artorias added.

I tore his helmet off with one hand and slapped him into a wall with the other.

The shock on his face was clear. He hadn't even seen me move. I caught him by the throat and lifted him away from the ground as he bounced off the wall, his boots prevented from scuffing my floor.

Abaddon reabsorbed the wall now that it was no longer needed to make this point. The deck didn't normally have any walls, nor did it need them.

“Don’t you dare lie to me, I'll know and it will not go well for you. Are you chickening out of a fight right now?” I demanded quietly.

“Yes,” Artorias confessed.

“Fucking coward. How pressing is it?” I continued.

“The world is dying, slowly. This monster is just another one between me and preserving the world for a little longer,” Artorias responded.

I didn't let go of him as I walked through the rift and saw some sort of massive lizard thing with wings and a giant mouth in place of a ribcage.

“Okay, I'm not saying that I approve, but I do understand,” I relented as I set Artorias down, “Keep the rift open and stay out of my way.”

“Yes sir,” Artorias replied meekly as he shuffled further away from the beast than we already were.

There was no way that this was going to be a fair fight, I was wearing my armor and had all of my weapons ready.

I flared out my wings and launched myself at this enemy, who hesitated for a fatal second at the sight of an airborne opponent.

Just as I was about to bring an eight ton hammer down on this beast’s head, a massive arrow caught me in the side and pushed me just enough for my swing to miss.

The monster grabbed me before I could bring my weapon back up, pinning my arms down.

I shot the archer a glare before biting the hand trying to crush me. I got the thumb in particular, as it was right there in front of my chest. When it still didn't let go, I tore the thumb right off at the knuckle and spun free of the hand. I was a bit bloodier, but unharmed.

That archer from before tried a second time, but he was my focus now and lost his cervical vertebrae privileges to a spike from one of my pistols. I didn't really care if that was lethal or not, as it made him perform a rather convincing impression of a sack of potatoes.

With only this rib-mouthed monstrosity left, I elected to do things the old way and really get bloody. I let my hammer fall to the ground below and dove into the open ribs with my claws ready.

I cut and bit everything that looked even marginally important before I found a structure that pulsed like a heart. It didn't look like a heart, but the monster cried out when I started biting pieces out of it and eating them. It stopped moving after I'd eaten a third of the organ, but I wasn't beholden to any signal other than my own whims. I stopped eating when I was satisfied and not one second sooner.

Shame for it that the hunger never truly went away.

I got to see just how blood soaked I was when I ripped open a hole in the monster’s side and walked back to where I'd dropped my hammer.

“You still alive, Artorias?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah, are you okay?” My interdimensional Uber replied.

“Nothing here hurt me, free lunch,” I replied.

“Fuck,” Artorias swore.

“I will admit, that took more work than I'm used to,” I conceded, mostly to spare Artorias’s ego.

“Didn't look like it. From here it looked like you were drawing it out for fun or something,” he retorted.

“Cold efficiency has its place, as does stress relief,” I allowed as I rested my hammer on my shoulder and started walking towards him.

He actually walked backwards to maintain the distance between us.

“Boy, I would have killed you already if I had any desire to do so. You're young, you'll make mistakes, but you have a good heart and I wouldn't take that from this world or the Displaced. I will, however, slap the shit out of you if you leave your little sister or your dog alone in a dangerous situation again,” I warned.

“Right, I'm sorry,” Artorias apologized as he finally found his wits and moved forward to meet me at the rift.

“One more thing, just ask for help if you need it. There's no shame in leaning on others, God knows I do,” I added, which made Artorias laugh as we returned to Abaddon. Thankfully, Melon hadn't moved and thus Luna was still pinned. It made it easy to find both of them.

“Who could you need to lean on? After that display, I can't imagine that's the truth,” Artorias accused.

“Hello,” Luna greeted.

“Exactly, my dear wife for one. My army of enforcers and spies for another. And of course, my arch-nemesis,” I replied.

“Tia is awful, but is that really appropriate?” Luna challenged.

“She tried to seduce me last night,” I revealed.

“Moon and stars, how hard did you punch her?” Luna groaned.

“Near total decapitation,” I replied.

“Whore earned it,” Luna spat, “Very well, I concede the point.”

“Christ on a cracker, can we trade worlds? I'd much rather deal with these issues than the giant demons and monsters,” Artorias pleaded.

“You're welcome to it if you can keep Tartarus pacified,” I allowed, “The demons there don't die though, so you have to put out so much pain that they don't want to fight you.”

“Nevermind,” Artorias sighed, “Was that where we fought? It didn't look so bad.”

“It's had me in charge for a thousand years, they don't fight very often anymore,” I retorted.

“Right, thanks for clearing the way. I need to get moving and see what Blighttown can offer me. Come on Syf,” Artorias bid before turning back towards the rift.

“And call me if you run into crap like that again, don't just hide from it,” I instructed.

“Yeah, I'll do that. Actually, could you teach me how to fight better?” Artorias amended.

I was still standing, so I drew Cataclysm.

Perspective Change: Luna

Under my giant wolf shaped blanket, I was rather comfortable as the boys fought. It was the perfect temperature for such things, as the cool autumn air contrasted perfectly with the warmth of my cuddle buddy.

Jay never stopped talking, going over many of the same points I'd been lectured on during my combat training. My eyebrow raised when he moved on to subjects that I hadn't learned.

He actually reminded me of the time not so long ago when I'd watched Tzu fight Crimson, which made sense once I remembered that Tzu was made from Jay.

I understood why I hadn't learned these new subjects, they didn't apply to me. I didn't have hands or fingers to grip my weapons, I used telekinesis to manage my weapons. I didn't bother with physical shields, nor did my body have the range of motion to handle one like Artorias used with any degree of effectiveness.

I did eventually get Melon to move so we could retire into the interior for some food. The wolf and I went for food, to be specific. The boys were still fighting.

I swapped the sun and moon to the tune of clashing steel, but didn't give up on them until midnight.

I slept surprisingly well with Melon taking up the entire lower third of the bed, finding her suitably reassuring. Not ideal, but she made for a serviable replacement for Jay. At least, for one night.

I groaned and complained my way through making Tia swap the heavenly bodies in the morning, then went back to sleep.

I woke up the second time to find Jay beside me and no Melon covering my hind legs.

“Artorias finally left?” I guessed.

“Yeah, he should be better equipped to handle his world's monsters now,” Jay answered.

“Good for him, better for us. What needs to be done today?” I wondered.

“Too much,” Jay groaned.

“Starting with what?” I pressed.

“You have seven hundred petitions from the parliament. I have to waste another day chasing leads from the Gala until I find the spy and then follow that back to Chrysalis’s hive. Add in some trips to the Bane and a frankly impossible number of unit inspections, and what you get is both of us several hours late for full days of work,” Jay stated.

“Fuck,” I swore.

“Agreed,” Jay replied.

“Well, I'm going to hate life for the next week. Promise you'll stop me before they drive me into ending the world.”

“Only if you promise to stop me before I swan dive into a volcano.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

Perspective Change: Jekyll
Location: Canterlot Castle
Five Days Later

“Is this really the best you've got, Shining? All these years of setting up to fight me and I don't trust your unit to slow down a single gryphon,” I admonished, though the guard captain didn't even flinch. His eyes were full of scorn, but he did well maintaining his professional bearing.

“Sir, I assure you that these guards can handle anything you throw at them,” Shining boasted.

So I shot one of them.

The screaming and shouts for a doctor didn't do much to bolster confidence.

“You do realize the minotaurs and gryphons are using similar weapons, correct?” I challenged, “So why are they still out in the open with their wounded?”

I didn't give him the time to shout before I shot another one.

“No, don't bother. I'll handle it,” I cut in, once again stopping him from giving orders.

All Shining Armor could do was sulk in silence as I marched over and mended the damage I'd done.

“What did we learn from this? Drag your buddy into cover before concerning yourself with his injuries. There will never be just one bullet coming in at once,” I lectured.

“Yes sir,” the humiliated guards replied in unison.

“Will we ever meet your standards?” Shining snapped as I was walking past him to leave them. I'd meant to let Shining correct their training, but he had asked for it now.

“I have never held back my opinions on pony fighting capabilities. As a species, you have every disadvantage. No, you will never meet my standards. Aegis doesn't meet my standards even after going through the Solare procedure,” I replied coldly.

“I'll make you eat those words,” Shining growled. I sighed internally, relieved that he had responded as I'd predicted.

To one driven and competitive enough to earn his place as the captain of the Royal Guard, a direct challenge couldn't be ignored. Except when it didn't work and ruined an otherwise fantastic officer.

I allowed myself a smile once I'd turned away and couldn't be seen by either Shining or his troops.

A curious sight greeted me as I was leaving the training yard, though none of the ponies could have noticed it. I caught the disguised changeling around the throat with a tendril as it tried to turn and run, yanking it back towards me as it lunged the other way. The bug landed hard on its back before I pulled it all the way into my waiting hand.

“That's just bad luck for you,” I commented before tightening my grip just enough to shatter the insect’s skull. I consumed its brain before tossing the rest aside for others to dispose of, digesting the information within for a route back to the hive.

Chrysalis was getting smarter, having her drones brought in while unconscious so they wouldn't know the way back. That was unfortunate. Still, I had a lead. I just had to have my forces find the one bringing in the drones.

Perspective Change: Chrysalis
Location: The Western Forest Hive

“These mountains look off, are we certain that they are truly this tall?” I mused as I considered the map being carved into the floor of one of the chambers.

“Yes, my queen, every proportion has been triple checked,” a drone replied.

“Check them all a further seven times. This must be exact for the spell to work properly. Our enemy has a perfect memory, I do not. If we cannot mark the artifact locations here, then they will be lost to us forever. Without those artifacts, we will not be able to defeat him. It must be perfect, we only have one chance to do this right,” I urged.

“My queen, we know the stakes and are certain that this map will accurately mark the locations when the time comes,” the drone insisted.

“If it does not, I will wear your carapace as armor,” I growled.

“Mother, you're getting grumpy again,” Spit warned, “I told you this would happen if you skipped lunch.”

I sighed and was forced to acknowledge that I was hungrier than I wanted to admit.

“I do trust you, my children, I… no, you don't need me to make excuses. Please don't feel rushed by my foolish comments,” I apologized.

“Your concern is justified, my queen, we will take care to ensure everything is perfect,” the drone assured me.

I nodded and allowed Spit to lead me into the feeding chamber to fill my empty stomach, though I had to spread out my meal across several ponies to keep them from being drained beyond their ability to recover. The old hives didn't need to worry about leaving husks behind, but food was scarce enough out here. We had to make every captive last.

“Thank you Spit, I needed this,” I stated.

“We need to expand our stocks if we mean to grow the hive much more, especially if I ever get you to stop skipping meals. That isn't healthy and it makes me worry,” Spit advised.

I needed a moment to realize what emotion I was feeling. I wasn't sure I'd ever experienced guilt before. I doubted any changeling ever had. It wasn't a pleasant emotion, that much was certain.

Regret and I were old friends, but not guilt, not like this. I felt bad for making Spit worry about me. A drone. I'd thrown away thousands just like him on failed experiments without feeling anything but frustration.

“Very well, we shall raid some remote villages and add the entire populations to our supply stockpile. Have three more feeding chambers dug out,” I instructed, not really directing my orders at any one drone. I didn't need to, they would be relayed to the correct drones to make it happen.

“Mother, do you really think we'll win this time? This is some really scary stuff with the demons and the ancient bones and all,” Spit asked.

“Yes, I really think we can win this time. It all hinges on the wedding plan and the warrior caste,” I affirmed.

“Can I come? I'd rather be there so I can look out for you while you're busy with the spell,” Spit requested.

I scooped my favorite drone into a genuine hug of gratitude, “Of course you can, little one, I can't think of anyling I'd rather have by my side.”

Perspective Change: Vinyl Scratch
The Scratch Hatch, Canterlot (Backstage)

I spun around at the sound of a very expensive sounding crash, but held back my rebuke when I saw the look on Thorax’s face. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before, a look of horror and sorrow beyond what either of those words could accurately convey.

“Thorax?” I asked carefully, “You okay buddy?”

“Wha? Oh no. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me just now. I've never felt anything like that before, it was like…” he managed, trailing off as he became distant.

“You look like somebody is teabagging your gravestone,” I commented, which was enough to get Tavi to glare at me for being so insensitive.

“Yeah. That sums it up really well actually, like someling else is achieving all of my dreams. Sorry, got lost for a second. Let me get all of these boxes cleaned up,” Thorax rambled.

“It's fine, I'll get them. Go see if Tavi needs help with any paperwork,” I instructed, “In fact, Tavi can wait. Go ahead and take a break, as long as you need, we can get back into it once you're feeling alright.”

I jerked my head to signal for Tavi to come talk to Thorax while I got to work collecting the boxes he dropped. I checked each one as I worked, inspecting the turntables within for any damage.

Every single one of them would take hours to fix. I could've cried. I didn't have the ability to fix these myself, that would require either a proper unicorn or someone with both hands and tools. Or an enforcer.

“Tavi. We're gonna have to cancel the show,” I declared quietly. Thorax noticed and paled as he connected the dots.

“What about the emergency spare table?” Tavi suggested.

I looked up, wondering what in twelve Tartaruses she was talking about.

“The one Pinkie hid in case there was a music emergency?” Tavi pressed.

“The fuck is a music emergency?” I asked, bewildered.

“This,” Tavi answered simply.

“And where did she hide a secret spare turntable that can do the job of three others?” I challenged.

“In your ear,” Tavi replied as if that made sense.

“Babe, do you smell waffles?” I pressed worriedly. This seemed far more like she was having a stroke.

To be fair, I knew Pinkie. I knew she disregarded the laws of reality. This just felt too weird even for her.

“I'm not having a stroke, take your headset off and tilt your head to the right,” Tavi instructed.

I shrugged and did as she said.

“Now cough.”

I couldn't explain it, but I heard a thud and turned my head to find a pristine set of turntables beside me. Specifically a set with six spinners, precisely what would be required to stand in for the three twin tables that had been damaged.

“Today is really weird, huh,” Thorax commented.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” I agreed.

Perspective Change: Crush
The Scratch Hatch, Canterlot (Lobby)

My one day off and the show was delayed, how fitting. It had been hard enough to find a pony that I could reasonably impersonate and dodge all of the monsters just to get here.

Well, calling this a day off was a bit of a stretch. It would be far more accurate to call it a dry run, proving that I could blend in when the day came for the rest of my training and effort to be used for the hive.

The day I was to kill our greatest enemy. The day my hooves crushed Jekyll.

Just thinking about it made me excited. I had been born specifically for this purpose, risen to the warrior caste for this purpose, and dedicated far more effort than anyling else to studying my enemy and training my enhanced body to counter his abilities than anyling else just for this purpose.

I needed to take a breath and stifle my heightened emotions before anyone noticed that it wasn't frustration I felt.

Until the show actually began and my ability to blend in was truly put to the test, I did what I usually did when waiting for my next task. I mentally examined and replayed everything I'd been taught about my kind’s greatest enemy.

I knew others had difficulty with their place in the world. Ponies and the rest didn't truly know what that place was. Many changelings had the opposite problem, being discontent with having their place dictated by the queen and the needs of the hive. I had no such issues, I found comfort in having my purpose dictated to me shortly after I hatched and strength in knowing that it was something so important.

That was why I got a name. I exceeded even the other warriors in dedication. Dedication that would be rewarded.

I snapped out of my meditation when I was struck with a solid wall of sound that threatened to rip the pony disguise right off of my carapace. Now was my time to blend in.

Poorly mirroring the movements of those around me seemed to do just fine. None of the ponies considered my lack of dancing experience as anything other than the muscles of my disguise getting in the way.

“Wow Bulk, you've gotten a lot better. Have you been getting lessons behind our backs?” A mare teased.

“YEAH!” I shouted, perfectly mimicking the pony I had replaced.

I was a changeling. A born infiltrator. My immediate instinct when I saw the looks I was getting was of how easy it was going to be to get more of us into Canterlot for the coming operation.

I could likely get seven of these mares to leave with me, then the drones wearing their faces could easily lure more into the tender clutches of the hive.

Perspective Change: Alpha Six
The Scratch Hatch, Canterlot (Backstage)

“Tavi, this is a serious abuse of my abilities,” I complained.

“I don't care, Thorax is having a hard enough time without having to feel guilty about breaking all of these. I know you keep an eye on us all the damn time, have you seen how much more confident he's becoming in public?” Octavia retorted, “It would be horrible for him to backslide over something that you can fix right here and now.”

“Fine, geez, I'm already fixing the things, you don't have to give me the third degree about it,” I responded, “There, that should do it for this one.”

“Two to go. Ah, one second,” Octavia requested before hurrying off. I could still hear her as she grabbed one of the staff ponies, “Slip on stage and tell Vinyl that the seventh record in her lineup got swapped with one of mine, so she needs to skip it unless she wants to remix my cello recital on the fly. Also, send Thorax my way if you see him, I've got a surprise for him that should get him out of his funk.”

“Yes ma'am,” the employee replied before scurrying off.

“So what's the over under on Vinyl remixing that recital?” I asked as Octavia returned to where I was working, making her frown as I grinned.

“It's impolite to eavesdrop, but I'd say it's a near certainty,” Octavia guessed, “She'd only pass up the opportunity if she's feeling spent by that point.”

“Vinyl Scratch doesn't get tired of music or running her shows,” I pointed out, “That'd be an addict growing bored of their drug of choice.”

“A high functioning addict, thank you,” Octavia corrected.

“Yes yes, I know you resemble that remark,” I sighed, “Anyway, this one is done. Where did the third one get off to?”

“That's actually a really good question, I left it here with the others,” Octavia replied as she joined me in looking around the small general area behind the stage.

I found it being tinkered with by one of the venue techs in a storage room, though he jolted and broke it further when I slammed the top of my head into the door frame on accident.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” I apologized, “I'm not normally this tall.”

“An enforcer? Here? You best be moving on, Miss Scratch doesn't like your kind,” the tech warned through an especially thick northern accent.

“We've got an arrangement, helps that I'm an independent agent. I've also been looking for that table, already fixed the other two,” I corrected.

“Hmm, ain't buying it. Boss lady doesn't have dealings with the Free and I don't know you besides,” the tech retorted.

“The Free?” I noted, raising an eyebrow, “I'm Alpha Six and a friend of both Vinyl and Octavia, you'd better find a new line of work if you're what I think you are.”

“Oh no, I'm just an earth pony. My roommate is a Free though, think that'll be a problem with the boss?” The tech asked.

“I'll ask her, but first I need to make sure you're telling the truth,” I warned before casually throwing a tendril against the tech’s side. I didn't hurt him and retracted it immediately, finding him to be exactly what he said he was, “So the Rogues are getting apartments now?”

“Yep, and jobs. If’n you don't mind, I'd rather keep his confidence and good graces so I won't say much more,” he confirmed.

“Wasn't going to ask, not my business. I'll be chatting with Octavia in her section if you need a hand with that,” I offered, receiving a nod before leaving the tech to his work.

Rogues with normal lives? What was the world coming to? Stealing all of my thunder, apparently.