Same Life, new Body

And that's how I became good friends with a god. No idea why though; I meant what I said. My parents never believed in any religion. Sure, they believed there was a god. They just never specified which god they believed in. And I never believed in higher beings. Well… Until now.

I'm pretty sure I'd be having some kind of existential crisis if I cared enough. ‘Cause really, the pony’s existence, who I learned to be named Lauren Faust, pretty much proves that we were all created for, or from, some purpose. Think about it.

Anyway. After Lauren showed me the my watch can morph into any of the three weapons I chose, which are; A regular broadsword, a suppressed M16 Assault rifle, and a suppressed fifty caliber sniper rifle. She sent me back to the tree. She told me that I should head back to Canterlot, which I learned is where I was being forced to exist in.

As much as I didn’t care about anything, and wanting to just end it all, I went back. After a few days of living in the forest.

I only managed a few days ‘cause I found out that I suck at hunting animals. And there were these wooden wolf-thing that came back time after time I beat them to hell. Annoying bastards.

Speaking of beating things, I need to get a cape…

Meh, I’ll do that later. Anyway, Since I really had no idea of where I was. I just started walking in a random direction…

...

“I really didn’t think this through.”

Yeah, running into a dark forest, meeting a god, making a deal with said god can make anyone have that kind of realization…

It has been a week since Michael’s escape from Canterlot. The guards have been searching non-stop. The element bearers were looking wherever they could. Even Shining Armor and Princess Cadence had some of their guards help. Canterlot can only have so many looking while staying secure.

That was another issue. A lot of ponies were beginning to know of Michael’s situation. And of Michael’s existence, period. Sure, it was only the element bearers, Captain Shining Armor, And Princess Cadence. But that was still a lot according to Celestia. The less that know, the better. She thinks.

Anyway, it has been an entire week, and no updates of the whereabouts of the human were reported yet. It was concerning, maybe even completely frightening. For everypony knew just what might be happening, or what has already happened depending on who you asked.

The ponies didn’t know how to take this; the only living being of his kind, marooned on an alien planet, wanting to end his own life.

The implications these over-imaginative ponies thought of made them shudder to the bone.

And on top the general public having no clue about this, Celestia had to keep up a mask for her little ponies. There was absolutely no telling of what the solar diarch was thinking about at any given time. Only her sister knew what she was thinking, or at least, she had a close idea.

But that isn’t relevant at the moment. Right now, Celestia is dealing with the slice of tartarus that is day court.

“... And I demand that you pay damages to my door frame!”

“I am not responsible for your fat flank!”

How exhilarating it is to listen to the elites of Canterlot Castle, who boast about being the pinnacle of pony chivalry, civil behavior, and modesty, bicker and fight like two little foals.

To think Celestia has listened to endless dribble these ‘nobles’ come up with for centuries.

Hm. And Discord believes himself to be the most insane being. Funny.

Anyhow, day court was proceeding just usual when-

“Your highness!”

One of her solar guards burst into the chamber.

“Yes?”

“There’s been an… occurrence in Ponyville.” The guard stated using the designated word to convey what he meant to the princess around civilians.

“I see… Day Court is adjourned, we will continue tomorrow.” The ponies, minus the guard, nodded and left the large room.

“What happened?”

“The elements have found the creature. They say it ‘gave itself up’.”

*’Gave himself up’? He thinks he’s escaped from the dungeons...* The ancient pony thought to herself.

“What are your orders Princess?”

“Bring Michael to me.” The guard saluted and galloped off. Celestia made sure the guard was gone before she teleported to her sister’s room. She then softly knocked on it. She waited for about half a minute before a shaggy coated Luna with a bad case of bed mane opened the door.

“The elements have found Michael, he is being transported-” Was all Celestia could say before the door slammed shut. A few seconds later and Luna re-opened the door, looking quite like the princess she really is.

“Let us go escort him ourselves. We do not trust your guard. No offence meant, sister.” Luna said with a slight cringe.

“Oh, I know what you mean. They’ve gone soft over the years.” Both chuckled a little.

“Indeed, mayhaps we should retrain the solar guard?” Luna suggested as they began walking in a random direction.

“Why just my guard?” Celestia asked. “You guard’s been absent from equestrian history for centuries.”

“My children have kept their techniques and teachings well intact during my banishment. It is as if I never left when I witnessed what they call, ‘a regular training day’. Your guard would not last a single hour under our form of training.” The thin eggplant smirked devilishly at her sister.

“Oh? Care to make a little wager then?”

“What be the stakes, as they say?” Luna asked in a challenging tone.

“We choose the best of our respective guards, and have them spar against each other. And if my guards win, then I get to put your mane into cute pigtails.”

“Fine. If my guards win. I gain the right to your secret cake stash for the following consecutive month.”

Celestia’s pupils dilated a fraction of a yoctometer.

“Oh, you. Are. On.” Luna smiled in pure glee.

“Shall we perform our old hoof shake Tia?” Luna said before spitting onto one of her slippered hooves.

“Of course sister! Anything to validate our little wager.” Celestia spat into one of her gold-clad hooves. The ancient sisters then bumped their spit-on hooves together. Making a nice, quiet, wet, squishing sound.

“One team of three, one of each race.”

“You have a deal, Lulu.” They both withdrew and teleported to Ponyville.

It was just getting more complicated.

It was true, the Mane Six had found Michael, but he… he somehow got a new body.

But, that wasn't the strangest part. No, the strangest part, to the ponies at least, was how calm he was about it; about everything. Sure, all six of them knew about Michael’s… situation. But still...

That blank, dull look on his face. Those tiny, soulless, unblinking eyes. The girls have never meet an individual in such a state. Even one of Pinkie’s sisters looked more lively than this.

And it was especially freaking them out that Michael has been sitting in Twilight’s couch, completely still as a statue, for the past five minutes. For the girls, it might as well been an eternity.

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie tried making small talk with Michael, one of their ideas resulting in Michael being unflinchingly covered in confetti. While he always gave short, simple answers to their questions, leaving them nothing to expand upon. And all conversation died when Fluttershy asked whether or not Michael has any favorite activities.

“Right now, my current favorite is picking up one of those knives I saw in the kitchen and gouge my throat out with it. Even though I’ve never done it before.” All manner of thought, conversation and any sort of activity instantly froze. The ponies couldn’t, nor did they want to, believe what he just said. He was so blunt, he clearly didn't have a single care in the world about what tumbled past his lips. To say it stunned the six ponies, or rather, five; Rainbow was recovering faster than her friends, would be a bit of an understatement.

And while everypony else was too stunned to do or say anything. Rainbow, being the hot headed mare she’s known to be, flew right up to Michael's face.

“What. The. HAY!?” She yelled in that cracking voice of hers. “What makes you think it's ok to say stuff like that!?” She glanced at Fluttershy, who looked like she was on the verge of unconsciousness. “Look at what you did to poor Fluttershy! Seriously! That's not cool, dude.” She crossed her forelegs at Michael, expecting some form of apology from the human.

Said human, however, had something else to say. His eyes, those blank, lifeless eyes, focused on the prismatic mare. Sending a cold shiver down her spine. He took a second to respond, but when he spoke, his dead flat tone chilled everypony to the bone.

“You really think I care…” He said, more as a passive observation than anything else. “You really don't know a thing about me. I'm an alien-”

“We already know that!” Rainbow interrupted.

“-that had family.” Michael continued on as if Rainbow never said a single syllable in the first place. “I had family, friends, a bright future. I had everything anyone could really ask for.” Michael paused for some reason. “It was all taken away from me. I'm never going to see my mom or my dad's face ever again. I'm never going to become a computer engineer. I'm never going to able to hang out with any of my friends ever again.” His ice-cold gaze bored into Rainbow Dash. “I don't care about a damn thing I say. At the end of the day, when everything is over, I am going to find something long and sharp. And shove it as far as I physically can up my throat. At least then I'll feel something before I die.”

Michael's little speech silenced the room. The temperature seemed to have dropped to freezing. Everypony saw one another shivering. But none as worse as Rainbow. For she was directly on the receiving end if Michael’s dead gaze. She might as well have been staring at a corpse with how glossed over his eyes seemed to be.

A bright flash with a loud popping sound filled the room. Everypony flinched from the sudden occurrence. They covered their eyes with their forehooves. Michael, however, didn't react at all.

“The hay was that?” Rainbow asked while still rubbing the spots from her eyes.

“Good day, my little ponies.” A voice spoke. Everypony quickly recovered at that point, and then bowed to both princesses.

“Rise, my ponies. There is no need to bow.”

“Oh~ I know.” Rarity started when she stood straight up, desperately trying to change the atmosphere to something lighter. “But how can we not show our respect towards you?” Celestia laughed at that, she went to speak more, but her sister beat her to it.

“We are all friends here, are we not?” Luna asked.

“Well, yes. But-”

“Then thou acting as thyself thyself is enough respect for us. Right, dear sister?” Luna turned to Celestia.

“Yes it is, Luna. Thank you.”

“Thou art welcome sister.” She diverted her gaze back to the ponies. “Now, where is Michael?” Everypony lowered their heads. The atmosphere quickly changed again. The light in the room seemingly dimming a bit. Twilight warily raised a hoof and pointed at something diagonally to the right behind them. The princesses shared a confused glance before craning their necks at look at when she was pointing at. Both nearly gasped what they saw.

It was Michael. He had a simple blue plaid shirt. Pair of blue jeans with a black undershirt, seemingly leather belt, and on odd looking pair of… they assumed shoes. They had an odd design about them. And that odd curved check-mark didn’t help much. Maybe it is some sort of brand logo? It is a piece of clothing, it is not far-fetched since they are alien clothing.

Anyway, the princess quickly regained their composure, what little they lost of it anyway, and addressed the human. Luna was the first to speak.

“Michael, please come back with us. We can assist thee-”

“Yeah, whatever, let’s just go.” Michael interrupted. Catching everypony off guard. And angering a certain pegasus.

“Hey! Who do you think you are talking to the Princess like that!?” Rainbow shouted while, once again, hovering inches from his face. She quickly began to regret speaking when she saw Michael about to speak.

“Rainbow Dash. It is quite alright.” Luna said, jumping in spare the mare. “We should be on our way to Canterlot anyhow. We have many questions to ask.”

“I know. Let's just get on with it.” Was all Michael said before him and the princesses teleported away. That little fact bringing a bitter smile to Celestia; at least she can finally travel like that with Michael, when needed.

“Flankhole…” Rainbow muttered. “Who does he think he is talking to us like that? Especially the princesses too!”

“Somepony without inhibitions…” She turned bodily to Twilight.

“What?"

“What Twilight means is that Michael don't care Rainbow. He ain't got nothin’ holdin’ him back.”

“I have to agree with Applejack darling.” Rarity chimed in. “You heard what he said. He lost his family in coming here. Celestia knows what I would do were I was in his situation.” She admitted with a shudder. She couldn't fathom what she would do without Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah! We can't blame him for acting like that!” Pinkie said. Fluttershy mumbled something that sounded like an agreement to what the other mares were saying. Rainbow bared their words for about zero point three seconds before it became too much for the simple-minded pony.

“Rrrrgh! Fine! I get it! He’s been through a lot! Jeez!” She threw her forelegs into the air, as if crying out to the heavens.

One second, the hall was empty, devoid of life excluding the guards standing attention. They didn’t really matter since they were as still as statues most of the time.

This time, however, was not one of those times.

No, it wasn’t their princesses teleporting in from somewhere. No, it wasn’t from the smile on Princess Luna’s face. No, it wasn’t from the lack of dread since they saw Luna smiling. Although, they will have to wonder about that later.

No, it was the creature standing in between them. However, they did hesitate for a split-second. The thing seemed quite familiar to them…

No matter! As far as they knew. There was an unknown creature with them! A wild-card, if you will. They did not know its full intentions, despite the simple fact that it was obvious the princesses teleported themselves with the creature. And in fact… it does look really familiar…

Ah! It was that slimy thing that outran them and jumped off a cliff! They need to apprehend that thing! The princesses wanted that thing in custody!

“Halt!” One of the guards bellowed, he and the rest surrounded the creature and princesses, spears lowered. The guard then noticed, at first, the blank look on the creature. It just seemed to radiate this aura of ice-cold… nothingness.

A shiver crawled up their individual spines. They didn't, fortunately, have to experience this much longer. For their princess came to their rescue.

“That is not needed, my little ponies. We have Michael in our custody.” The guards looked at the princess, then towards the creature she called Michael -odd name. And did it as a brief glance, then back to their princesses. The nodded and withdrew their spears. Seeing as their princesses weren’t in any immediate danger. The diarchs smiled and walked down the hall with the human while the guards returned to their posts.

As much as that blank look from Michael will haunt them for days to come. They took solace in the very fact they completely ensured their princess’s safety.

Yes, they were super, tactical, as well. And handled the situation with grace, intelligence, and style. Yes, we must not forget how totally awesome they looked while protecting their princesses.

...

Mmm… over a thousand years, and they’ve never changed. Poor bastards.