Changeling Therapy 2: Dreams And Nightmares

When Twilight awoke and trotted down to the kitchen she was looking forward to her habitual morning coffee. Upon arrival she was surprised to see a deflated and distraught Pinkie Pie crying onto the tabletop. She blinked in incomprehension, then her expression migrated to concern.

“Pinkie, are you ok?” she asked, taking a seat beside her friend and putting a hoof across her back, “Pinkie what’s wrong?”

The earth pony looked like she had been crying for hours, actually looking impossibly dehydrated. Twilight noticed that her hair was in its deflated flat state, something that never occurred except when Pinkie was extremely depressed.

“Talk to me Pinkie,” Twilight pushed, gently, her voice very soft.

She saw her friend look at her with swollen tear stained eyes, seeing first hand the extent of the emotional destruction that had been wrought on her. Pinkie’s mouth quivered uncontrollably, trying to speak, but only emitting one or two short syllables.

Oh dear, the alicorn thought to herself then asked “did something go wrong in the dream? With you and Iridis?”

Pinkie nodded sullenly, then wiping a few of the tears away she finally spoke, “if you want to know what’s wrong ask Luna.” She then continued to sob.

Twilight had no idea what was going on, but resolved to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. She patted Pinkie affectionately on the head, worried for her friend.

“Ok Pinkie, I’m going see what I can do about this, whatever it is, you’ve haven’t been very clear. I’ll get Spike to come and look after you, ok?”

Pinkie nodded weakly and then slammed her head back down onto the table quite forcefully. Twilight winced at this and after having called spike down to take care of her friend she set off to find where Luna might be. Not in the castle as it turned out so the puzzled princess set out to Futtershy’s to see if Iridis was there - perhaps he might shed some light on this or know the whereabouts of the dream princess.

When Twilight arrived Fluttershy and Iridis were already up, feeding some of the animals. The alicorn landed, her head still a morning mess, she looked a little confused.

“Are you ok Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, “looks like you didn’t sleep that well?”

“Oh no, I slept fine, I just rushed here, that’s all,” Twilight explained, “Iridis, I found Pinkie in the kitchen this morning, really really upset, crying. She was saying something about Luna; I couldn’t find her so I wanted to see if you know anything about this?”

The changeling exchanged a look with Fluttershy and he let out a concerned hum, “hmmmmm” he mumbled.

“What does ‘hmmmmmm’ mean?” Twilight probed.

Fluttershy interjected before he could reply, “I think you probably need to tell her what you told me buglet.”

“Bahhhhh,” Iridis moaned in slight frustration, “it’s a very private thing we talked about, I really don’t think Luna would want anyone to know - I mean I know I told Fluttershy here, but we share many of the same dreams now anyway, it would be inevitable.”

Twilight rolled her eyes slightly, not really in frustration at the changeling but more at the situation, “ok, look I know we all want to respect everyone’s privacy, but Pinkie is distraught, if you can’t tell me everything, is there enough you can tell me that I might be able to help? Or do you perhaps know where Luna is?”

“She’s not at the castle?” Iridis asked, redundantly.

Twilight cocked her head in irritation, “if she were in the castle I kind of wouldn’t be here!”

“Fair enough,” he admitted then looked to Fluttershy with a pleading expression.

The pegasus introspected for a moment, a clutter of little birds pecking at scattered seeds around her feet, “would it be ok Twilight if Iridis and I went to talk to Pinkie PIe? We’ll see how she feels and then we can take it from there?”

Twilight made an ambiguous noise that sounded as close to an agreement as they were going to get and sighed, “alright, I’ll keep looking for Luna, and at least I know Pinkie’ll be in good hooves with you two.”

After the agreement was reached Iridis and Fluttershy flew off towards the Friendship Castle.

The changeling looked distinctly anxious.

“Did I perhaps do the wrong thing, what I said to Pinkie? Maybe I got it wrong, maybe it’s just made things awkward between them?” he wondered, out loud.

“Well, whatever it is, let’s wait until we know more. From what you said it seems like it was, well the right thing to say, especially given everything else that happened that night,” she blushed sweetly.

It didn’t take them long to get to Twilight’s castle and follow the sound of sobbing to the kitchen area. Upon entering they were greeted with a miserable and shaking Pinkie
Pie and an overwhelmed befuddled Spike who was desperately trying to console her - passing an endless stream of tissues to help dry the buckets of tears. Already the floor was littered with used paper.

“Fluttershy am I glad to see you!” the dragon exclaimed, “she won’t stop crying and she won’t talk either!”

“It’s ok Spike, we’re all got this” Fluttershy explained, “but thanks for doing such a good job so far, you’re a really good friend spike.”

“Aww thanks Fluttershy,” he replied, alright then, I’ll just, you know…”

“It’s ok you can go Spike, thankyou,” Iridis reassured him, and closed the door behind Spike after the little dragon made his way out.

The couple settled either side of Pinkie and pressed her comfortingly between them.

“Pinkie,” Iridis asked, quietly so as not to startle her, “Fluttershy knows, you can talk to us both if you want, what happened?”

After another bout of sniffling Pinkie managed to squeeze out the last few tears (for the moment) then looked up at his face desperately. “We slept together,” she said, matter of factly and as though all emotion was drained from her, “then then next morning she rejected me.”

“What?” Fluttershy and Iridis both exclaimed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” she sobbed, “I thought for sure, after what happened that, well, it would all be ok and then in the morning, she was really angry. She called me horrible things. She was saying all kinds of stuff about it not being ‘proper’ for a princess.”

“Fuck it,” grunted Iridis, “this is my fault Pinkie, it was too much too quick, I shouldn’t have interfered in your life, or Luna’s.”

“Buglet wait…” Fluttershy spoke up softly, “don’t start blaming yourself, this isn’t about you, you just gave them a push. I think Luna has probably just panicked is all. It’s quite a thing to happen isn’t it? Remember Luna was alone for a thousand years, she’s probably not used to those feelings. I’m certain that she just ‘freaked out’ a little.”

“I don’t know if I can recover if she really doesn’t want me…” Pinkie announced, and seeming to be deadly serious - she was without even the tiniest trace of hyperbole, nor the smallest hint of melodrama, “after all those years, and how long it’s built up, I don’t know if I can go on without her. It’s like part of me has just been ripped away!” she burst into tears again and hugged Fluttershy very tightly.

“I don’t think we should leave her alone,” Fluttershy whispered over Pinkie’s sobbing, and Iridis agreed, nodding slowly “why don’t you see if you can find…”

At that very moment Spike knocked on the door and Fluttershy called him in. He ran up to the trio and presented a scroll to Iridis, “I just received this from Celestia, it says Luna is in Canterlot, but that there are some, well, just read it for yourself,” he handed over the coiled missive to the Changeling.

Iridis unfurled it and read through as quickly as he could. It seemed in her confused and emotional state Luna had flown back to Canterlot during the night and awoken Celestia, babbling incoherently. From the letter it appeared that Celestia had no idea what the issue was, and was asking someone from Ponyville to reply to her and let her know what in Equestria was going on.

He lowered the letter and sighed, “I don’t know what to do here Fluttershy, should we find Twilight, tell her the truth, or is that going to make Luna angry. It’s a big secret, a very big secret. I feel so stupid, I thought it would be like, you know, ‘us’,” he chose his words carefully so as not to embarrass her in front of Spike, “I thought that it would just work out the same, it would fix everything...”

“I guess the same thing doesn’t work for everypony,” Fluttershy commented, sagely, then reminded Iridis, “stop blaming yourself, I may well have said the same thing as you.”

Pinkie was still sobbing between them although it had softened now to diminutive snuffles - she gave the appearance of being shattered, broken and fragmented.

Somepony needed to make a decision. Spike was too ignorant of the circumstances, Pinkie was virtually catatonic and Iridis was guiltily introspecting.

“Right,” Fluttershy announced, an assertiveness in her voice that drew immediate attention, “I’m making a decision here, we need to tell Twilight the truth, everything, whatever Luna’s wishes would be. I don’t say that lightly, really I don’t. Right now she needs another princess to talk to her, someone who understands better, and honestly Twilight usually takes a pretty rational approach to these things and that’s probably what’s needed. We’re probably all a little too involved in this, all of us.”

“Involved in what?” Spike piped up, starting to feel dejected at being left out.

“We can’t tell you Spike,” Fluttershy replied, trying to sound as kind as possible but before she could speak further Pinkie interrupted.

“What about me?” Pinkie interjected, sounding frustrated, “It’s not just Luna’s secret, it’s my secret too, and I’ve got hurt too. You’re talking about it like Luna’s the only one that matters!” she hiccupped a little while she struggled to speak, suppressing little spasms of misery as the occasional sob came up from deep within her.

“Of, yes of course…” Fluttershy replied, surprised at realising that this was the truth, “It’s just…”

“I’m Pinkie Pie right? Is that what you were going to say?” Pinkie challenged angrily, “Pinkie will just bounce back, because she doesn’t have real feelings? Right? RIGHT?”

Spike took a step back from this eruption, and Fluttershy’s mouth hung open for a moment - she flapped it incoherently a few times - then she closed it.

Pinkie continued, “I’ll decide who I want to tell, and I say that Spike can know. He’s a good friend. Twilight too, get her here, they can both know,” then she hung her head, the straightness of her melancholy hair now obscuring half her face - like a mourner’s veil, “s-sorry”, she stuttered, beginning to sob again.

A little later, after she had been located, Twilight was brought back to the castle and a full disclosure was made to her and spike. The dragon’s reaction would have perhaps been comical in less serious circumstances, his eyes widening into a disbelieving stare for most of the exposition; later he blushed deeply. It was clear though there was no malice or judgement in his face though, simply befuddlement and a little titillation.

Twilight took most of it in her stride, characteristically calm and reflective, nodding at various intervals and only speaking up a few times to clarify one or two points.

“Ok,” said Twilight, at length, “I can see why you felt you couldn’t say something earlier, but it’s out now, and probably it was right for me to know. So, it’s not really what I expected but… if that’s how you two feel about each other, then there’s nothing wrong with it, nothing at all. I have to admit it does raise some questions about, exactly ‘how’ much Luna is watching in our own dreams…” she stopped herself when she realised this was a topic that could wait until later, “I think honestly all this was rather a lot for her. It’s been hard for her to adjust, as you know - she was only just beginning to learn how to have fun, make friends again and express herself without lapsing into the ‘royal we’,

“I’ll go to Canterlot and talk to her. In the meantime, is it possible we could all just, you know, calm down for a week or two so we don’t have any more sex related emotional crises or injuries?” it seemed like she could have been joking but Twilight was serious. First there had been the incident with Fluttershy and Iridis and now a tangled mess involving Pinkie and Luna, “I just kind of need a break, ok?”

Iridis and Fluttershy looked at one another and giggled very slightly.

Twilight continued, “I am the Princess Of Friendship, I guess it’s kind of my job. I just don’t want to end up the Princess Of Romantic Drama, ya know?” she smiled a little, but again with a small edge of seriousness, “also, I’m learning probably far more than I want to have to know about everyone’s crazy love lives. Ok?”

“Fair enough,” Fluttershy replied, blushing a little, “that’s very reasonable Twilight.”

The princess turned to face Spike and said half jokingly, “so Spike, anything you have to confess now too?”

Spike thought for a moment and then said, “well, there has kind of been a thing going on between me and Celestia…”

“WHAT?” Twilight exclaimed,stamping her two front hooves in sudden surprise, “you’re joking, right?”

“Yeah!” Spike replied, now collapsing into a giggling upturned beetle, waving his legs around and grinning. He looked hopefully at Pinkie pie but the mare was too distraught to laugh, or even give any hint of recognition.

“NOT - Funny!” castigated Twilight, snorting a little - then breathing out a long sigh of relief, “alright then, I’m going to go to Canterlot, Spike please look after the castle when I’m gone. Oh and Iridis, since Luna is, indisposed, you should probably go and check up on Sunny.”

The changeling’s face dropped (in so far as his expression could) and he looked singularly unhappy. Fluttershy picked up on the signs immediately and nudged him a little.

“Buglet, what’s wrong?” the mare asked.

Iridis sighed and twitched his wings, catching the light from the fire, “I still feel I don’t know there’s much I can do, and I know that sounds awful.”

“Is this that whole thing about the ‘tainted’ again?” Twilight asked, performing frustrated inverted commas with her hooves and flicking her tail, “Iridis, if there is anything I know it’s that anypony can change, or at least nearly everypony. What is this really about? You’re making so much effort with the dreams and yet you don’t even want to talk to him?”

Iridis trotted away for a moment, looking into the stone wall as though it was the horizon, he had a distant look and no-one else said anything for a while. He turned back slowly with a pained expression and then finally said “it brings back, some very painful memories,” he lowered his head.

“About her?” Fluttershy conjectured, to herself, then realising that she had spoken out loud blushed deeply and clapped her hooves over her little snout. Iridis was shocked some, looked angry for a moment then relaxed into submission, his body clearly untensing.

“It’s ok Fluttershy,” he responded, “we’ve shared everything else today, I might as well talk about this - but how did you guess it was about ‘her’?”

Still blushing, and gingerly removing the cup over her hooves from her mouth and took a deep breath, “your dreams Iridis, sometimes I could feel parts of yours, even when you’re not aware. She keeps coming back, but I could see how much it hurts you. I just couldn’t bring it up yet, no time felt like the right time, I’m so sorry.”

He approached her and wrapped a hoof across her back, experiencing a rush of her scent as their necks touched tenderly. It calmed him and made the prospect of exhuming his private skeletons seem more bearable, even necessary.

“OK,” Iridis began, sitting himself down - everyone started paying attention, even Pinkie Pie - then after a pause to summon a little courage he began, “one of the reasons I chose to leave the hive, and come here was to do with, well, an experience I had with a mare. This was something I talked to Fluttershy about, but I hadn’t told her the whole truth. For that I’m really sorry, truly, I just couldn’t face it.

“She was the first pony I met who I felt I saw as a little more than food. I didn’t have the words or the understanding at the time to grasp what that feeling was. I got to know her, we spent time together. But what I didn’t say before was that she was one of the ‘tainted’ whatever label you like: it doesn’t matter. The fact that she was meant I couldn’t take her back to the hive, her dreams would be volatile and she was little ‘use’ to us, so in such a case I was supposed to just abandon her and seek another. But it kept progressing none the less, with me as a handsome stallion facade, and her - just being her.

“She could be really insightful, cynical yes, but it always felt like there was more to it than that. Or at least she saw things in a different way. It even progressed to us kissing and a few other well ‘things’, nothing too far though. Other times though she could be so full of anger that it just erupted out of nowhere.

“Then one day she did what she’d threatened to do for a long time, she…” he choked and tried to force the words out, “she killed herself.”

“Oh Iridis,” Twilight exclaimed sympathetically, hanging her head.

The changeling sniffed in a serpent like way, then struggled on, “it was like she saw the best in me and the worst in me. At the time when she, when she took her life, I didn’t feel that much. Or at least that’s what I thought. But then over time it made me start to see things in a different way, made me feel I didn’t want to stay where I was. The sad thing though, the awful awful truth of it is that if she wasn’t ‘tainted’ I would have taken her back. I would have fed from her. So in some ways, can I really take any credit for coming to Celestia? For wanting to be ‘reformed’? It was blind luck I met the one pony who I couldn’t feed from, and in the end she paid the price for it…” he bowed his head as though accepting judgement and felt a pain awakened in his heart he had not felt for some time, his breathing now a little light and rapid, flirting with hyperventilation, “I couldn’t help her, and if I had helped her come to a better place then I would have wanted to feed from her, how fucked up is that?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Fluttershy asked, her face contorted with sadness and a little disappointment.

“I couldn’t, it was too close to me, I’m sorry Fluttershy!” he moaned quietly as he saw his mate begin to sigh a little.

Even when sad and crying though, strength was never far from Fluttershy and he saw her draw a spark deep from within her, the glint returning to her eyes, “Iridis, I’m not upset because of what you did, or rather what you think you did: just that you waited so long to tell me. But I DO understand. Don’t start retreating into yourself again, I know you want to blame yourself for what happened to her, but we can’t even know it was anything to do with you.”

Though the temptation to be self defeatist was strong in him at that moment Iridis took just a second to look around. He saw again the distraught look of oblivion on Pinkie Pie’s face, the concerned look on Twilight’s and the expectant look on Fluttershy’s. He gritted his teeth hard and felt the squeak of his molars as he ground them together - no, now was not the time to collapse into himself again - now was the time to move forward. He swallowed deeply and realised he’d been holding his breath; when he exhaled he felt quite a bit better.

“Ok,” he finally said, “Ok, you’re right Fluttershy, you’re right. I need to talk this through with you, properly. There’s no point bottling it up, or using it as a cloak, if you know what I mean. But right now though, maybe we need to be here for some other pony”, he motioned to Pinkie who had been paying attention, though saying nothing.

“I do,” she smiled weakly, accepting he’d just made another significant step in his journey, “Twilight, if you go and seek out Luna we can make sure everything here is sorted out. Someone will check in on Sunny, whether it’s me or Iridis, as soon as we can.”

“And I’ll make sure things in the castle go smoothly!” trumpeted Spike, puffing his scaly chest out in an air of hopeful self promotion, Twilight smiled back at him.
“I know you will Spike, thank you, I can always count on you.”

Preparations were made hastily and Twilight set off in flight to Canterlot, considering the circumstances important enough to make it there more quickly than by train. She also still felt she needed as much practice as she could get even though it had been a little while now since she had acquired her wings.

Spike, Iridis and Fluttershy between them coaxed Pinkie Pie out of the Kitchen and got her into somewhere a little more comfortable, settling the earth pony onto a swooning couch of some description. Spike stayed for a little while then busied himself with some of Twilight’s mail. Despite the Princess Spike incident it had turned out he was a very capable and proactive secretary. He would be able to manage Twilight’s lower priority correspondence for a few days.

As the day went on they started to grow more concerned as Pinkie showed little to no sign of emerging from the depths of her melancholy. It seemed if anything the solution to all this might have to start with Luna - they only hoped Twilight was having better fortune than they.

It was later in the day when a slightly fatigued Twilight finally completed her climb to Canterlot’s altitude and settled herself down at the top of one of the spires - many as they were - punctuating the white towered citadel. She was immediately accepted by two of the palace guards, who subsequent to customary bows, took her down the steps and towards the inner sanctum.

She eventually caught sight of Princess Celestia, the alicorn pacing back and forth in an antechamber looking thoughtful. As soon as her eyes caught sight of Twilight she smiled a little and immediately came up to greet her.

“Twilight Sparkle, thank you so much for coming!” she greeted warmly, but with a clear sense of urgency, “my sister has barely spoken to me all day and won’t leave her room, the only thing she has mentioned at all is something about Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight sighed deeply and cocked her head to one side. Princess Celestia recognised the expression immediately as it was habitual to her former pupil - the kind of look that said: I don’t want to have to explain this, but I know I need to.

“So, before I start, you have to understand that Luna may well not like me sharing this,” she explained, “but I know for a face that Pinkie Pie is ok. That puts me in well, a slightly awkward position, but honestly I don’t think I have much of a choice, I just need to warn you though, it’s all quite intense!”

Celestia looked away for a moment and hummed to herself as she turned back to Twilight, “they slept together didn’t they?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in shock for a moment, she stuttered, then finally forced the words out, “how, how did you know?”

“My dear Twilight I’ve lived for thousands of years, and I can certainly recognise the look between two ponies when they have feelings for each other. I also of course know my sister almost as well as I know myself. I had guessed something was going on even though they spent little time together, so I’m guessing the intimacy was played out in dreams between the two?”

“Right again,” Twilight responded, “but if you were so sure, why did I have to come all this way?” she flicked her wings for a moment, twitching out some of the remaining soreness from her long flight.

“I wasn’t sure, I was never completely sure, it more of a firm hunch, but you being here and talking to me was all else I needed to hear. In any case Twilight, it was your support I needed more than anything,” she smiled, “you are the princess of friendship after all.”

“But I’m not the princess of SEX!” Twilight protested then gasped, clapped a hoof over her mouth and blushed a little.

Celestia smiled obtusely, “oh Twilight you truly are a little bit prudish aren’t you?”

“Prudish, me?” Twilight replied, surprised, “I’m not prudish, I just don’t want to have to hear about everyone’s sex life, that’s not that unreasonable is it?”

“No it’s not Twilight, and perhaps prudish is the wrong word, but you have to understand I’ve been alive for a very long time, and experienced probably most of what there is to experience. I suppose I’ve become a little desensitised to it all,” Celestia replied.

“If that’s true,” Twilight inquired, “then why did Luna freak out so badly, surely she’s had as many experiences as you, and all that time within the dreams too, yikes she’s probably seen every ‘sexy’ dream I’ve had, or that you’ve had, or that anypony has!” the implication of this realisation struck her more forcefully now than before and she couldn’t suppress a slight shudder.

“Ahh, yes that’s a good question,” Celestia replied, “allow me to explain a little. Remember that the values in society haven’t always been the same. Certainly not static regarding sex and intimacy. Contrary to what you might think, the openness of society to sex and sexuality waxed and waned through the centuries, sometimes going too far one way or the other.

“during the last millennium, there has been the most drastic change in values, especially in the last few hundred years. For the better. It has stabilised into a tolerant and expressive Equestria, though there is more work to be done. Remember that Luna missed most of that. At the time I was forced to imprison her, Equestrian society looked very different, and the views on sexuality were more complicated.”

“How so?” Twilight pressed, finding this history lesson to be quite interesting despite the subject matter.

“Sexual intimacy across the ‘classes’ was not considered acceptable in the upper echelons of Canterlot, well, at least not openly. We were all very hypocritical about many things, both repressed and libertine at the same time. It was generally accepted that princesses and those of ‘higher standing’ would have secret affairs and lovers. But it had to be kept discrete. Luna has come a long way, but remember she’s still very much stuck in that mindset. Back then, for a Princess to be involved with a - please excuse the term - a commoner would have been very scandalous,” Celestia explained.

“That doesn’t sound very healthy…” Twilight suggested.

“Yes and I’m not proud of all of my behaviour either,” Celestia sighed distantly, “when things were exposed you buried it, sometimes that meant destroying someone’s reputation, or pressuring somepony into leaving. It was not a nice time. I think ponies are far too quick to idolise the ‘good old days’. We didn’t have the freedom and the openness in society back then that we do now.”

Twilight turned away for a moment and trotted a little off from Celestia then turned back with a questioning expression, “so, I’m happy to have come here to help, but I was under the impression you didn’t know what was going on, that we’d probably have to put our heads together on this one. Seems like you already understand Luna perfectly? So, how can I help exactly?”

“Consider it a lesson,” Celesta replied, grinning slightly.

Twilight stood to attention and furrowed her eyebrows, “a lesson! But, but, Celestia really, if you’re that concerned about your sister, you DO it!” she blurted, certainly not meaning for her tone to be disrespectful, but something about the prospect of having to face this particular challenge did fill her with a little dread.

“This is something you need to get over,” Celestia replied, firmly, her expression flattening into a matriarchal frown, “you’re also actually the right one to do this, I think both you and Luna can learn something from each other - now: off you go!” she stuck her hoof out suddenly like a policepony’s, pointing to a door where faint sobbing barely betrayed the presence of Luna.

Twilight’s mouth flapped uselessly for a few seconds but her tongue found no purchase on any meaningful protest she could think of. She sighed exasperatedly, in futility, swallowed once to summon some nerve and then advanced towards the door. Behind her Celestia closed her eyes and smiled happily.

Poking gingerly at lock level she found the wooden portal moved aside with ease, widening the vertical iris. Slowly Luna came into view, prone on her stomach, raw and tired. The princess of the night barely acknowledged Twilight’s entry as she sniffed and sobbed onto a sodden nest of cushions: she must have been crying for hours. A half empty pitcher of water stood nearby on a fancy nightstand, just one of many elegant appurtenances adorning the room.

“Luna?” said Twilight, gently and softly as she ventured further into the chamber.

“Twilight?” a hoarse, pathetic voice sniffed; Luna raising her head slightly to acknowledge her friend’s presence.

“Yes, it’s me, I’m here,” replied Twilight, gently making her way forward and settling into a seated position just at the border of the cushions. She reached forward and gently placed her right hoof over Luna’s, “would you like to talk Luna, about what happened?”

Luna shook her head and grunted, sending her main flowing this way and that, “no it is a private matter! We cannot share!”

Twilight recognised Luna’s unconscious relapse into the royal we, which was usually one of her protection mechanisms. It seemed like she needed to persist, especially given what Celestia had said to her. There was clearly something here she needed to do and perhaps gentle probing was part of the solution.

“You can share, with you friends Luna, that’s why I’m here,” reassured Twilight, letting her voice relax into a softening coo that she hoped would help Luna feel secure. She was sure it wasn’t as good as Fluttershy’s whispering mastery, but it would have to do.

“I am a princess and I don’t have to answer such questions!” Luna snapped, turning her head away and poking the length of her muzzle into an interstice between two cushions, hiding away.

“Pinkie Pie is really upset Luna,” Twilight replied, surprising herself with her answer. Somehow it just felt like the right thing to say, perhaps Luna might respond if she knew how Pinkie felt.

Sure enough, it did have some effect as Luna removed her snout from the pillowy scabbard and turned once more to face Twilight.

“She’s upset?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Twilight, nodding, “she’s really upset Luna.”

“She’s just a commoner!” fumed Luna, looking suddenly feral, “just an earth pony!”

Twilight gasped at this awful pronouncement. It crossed her mind to let herself become angry, to channel the indignance she suddenly felt at hearing one of her dear friends be referred to like that. But no, that wasn’t the right answer. Twilight looked inside herself and quickly realised it didn’t add up to assume Luna actually meant something like that. It made much more sense now why Celestia had said what she had said, that explanation of how mores and social expectations were so much different in the past.

There was no malice in Luna, just the old shrieking ghosts of long dead voices and opinions - views that were hard to shake off when one lived in them for hundreds and hundreds of years. She now felt the same sympathy for Luna as she had for Pinkie Pie and resolved to try to get through without resorting to anger.

“Luna, maybe a thousand or more years ago it was like that, but it’s not anymore. When you refer to Pinkie Pie like that, as just an earth pony, I don’t think you mean it. I know you better than that. I think what you’re frightened of is being judged,” said Twilight.

It seemed to be working, as Luna’s eyes softened just slightly.

“If you feel the way you do about Pinkie Pie, and she the same for you, who says you can’t be together?” Twilight asked.

“A princess and a, and a…” Luna couldn’t bring herself to say the words this time around, “ponies will talk Twilight, they’ll all talk and laugh…”

“So what?” exclaimed Twilight, “so what? You know what, ok, fair enough, perhaps there would be some talk! Perhaps that might be ‘some’ ponies that don’t like it, for whatever reason. But I know most won’t, I know from my travels and trials in Equestria just how much goodness and understanding there is. It only has to be awakened! You seem to think it would be the scandal of the century… frankly I think it would bring hope to so many Ponies. Do you know how many lesbian mares there are out there? It’s still hard for some of them come out. Imagine what you could do, and how much of a difference you could make by not hiding it? In any case, maybe that’s the wrong idea, forget about the world, fuck the rest of Equestria, why not just choose to love the mare you love? Why wouldn’t you? I know Pinkie wants you…”

Twilight surprised herself towards the end as passion raced her to a fast and stirring cadance. She wondered if this was too much, if she had overstepped the mark, but it seemed to make Luna pause for thought.

“Oh Twilight!” Luna cried, crawling into Twilight’s embrace and blinking out heavy and warm tears, “what have I done….”

Taken aback for just a moment and struggling against the weight of the larger alicorn, Twilight steadied herself and shushed her fellow princess reassuringly. It suddenly dawned on her why Celestia had wanted herself to be the one to reach Luna. All a long she had focussed on and worried about the embarrassment of the sexual aspects, and that was clearly an important part of this. However when it came it to it, the conversation was about all the feelings, taboo and insecurity around them.

She smiled to herself, both outwardly and inwardly and let herself feel close to Luna, comforting her friend.

“Shush,” she whispered, “I promise, we can work this out together, with Pinkie. I promise.”

“Thankyou,” Luna replied, “for a moment there, I almost felt possessed. What I said to Pinkie was awful. I felt so ashamed, but so angry too,” she sobbed some more and then continued, “it was like everything I knew about how to be a princess was in danger and I couldn’t, I couldn’t face it. I hadn’t felt that out of control since, well perhaps the Tantabus. It was almost like I was becoming Sunny Shade, like I saw a part of myself in him. Just so out of control, from no-where.”

Twilight froze. Deep inside her brain a connection was made.

“Luna,” she began, “I know you may not want to talk about it, but I need to know, what exactly was it you said to Pinkie?”

Luna withdrew from the cuddle slightly and looked embarrassed and guilty, “I don’t know I can tell you…”

“Please, I need to know…” Twilight pressed.

Luna took a very deep breath, “I called her a stinking cunt…” she whispered, reddening with shame, then her eyes widened. Twilight and Luna looked at each other as they both came to the same realisation.

“You need to find Sunny, right away!” Luna announced, wiping away the last vestiges of the tears with her foreleg and leaping to her hooves.

Twilight rapidly nodded her agreement, “what about you, aren't you coming?”

“No, I might, I might be compromised Twilight. There must be a part of me still bound to it… I shall stay with my sister for now, I must know the extent of it, but I’ll be right there when I can!”

Twilight grunted her agreement, “That’s ok, I’ll go and find Sunny, he should be with… Iridis. I’m sure he’s got everything.. Wait, oh no. Oh no………...”

“What is it?” Luna asked urgently, seeing her friend go pale like a petrified muse.

Twilight’s eyes widened, “I think Iridis might be in danger, very serious danger!”

When he finally arrived at Sweet Apple Acres Iridis’s mood was certainly sour. He’d dreaded having any one to one time with Sunny, for the reasons he’d finally felt comfortable enough to confess. The previous encounters had been made palatable by the presence of Luna, and sometimes another party - which meant he didn’t engage any more than he thought he could manage.

This time though would be different. He would have to take the lead on this, and despite his desire to just escape from the situation he knew deep down that it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t that he hated Sunny: it was more the connection he represented to that dark period in his past. Along with this was a frustration he held, a cynicism that Sunny could not or would not change. Little impulses flirted with his consciousness, such as to pretend he was Luna and then perhaps sidestep the awkwardness by putting on a regal ruse.

In the end though he shook his head, dispelled any notions of cowardice and reluctantly found his courage. When he arrived at the house Applejack was there to greet him, indicating that Sunny was upstairs in his temporary accommodation.

“How has he been?” the changeling asked.

Applejack shook her head and frowned, “honestly he’s been pretty calm for the last few days, seemed like a blessing at first, but he looks very tired, real withdrawn like. I think it would be good for you to have a talk to him sugarbug.”

“Ok then,” he sighed, and made his way up to Sunny, rapping a few times on the door to announce his presence.

“Sunny?” he called, “It’s Iridis, Luna is busy today and I’ve been sent in her place. Can I come in?”

There was no answer at all, although he could hear faint breathing from inside and he could smell the familiar fearful scent of the stallion. More so than that, the poisoned and complex aura of tainted ‘love’ he gave off was almost overpowering. He knocked again and yet still there seemed to be no reaction. Despite feeling intrusive for doing so Iridis decided he would just have to trespass and so he pushed the door open wide.

Within the room Sunny lay in bed, breathing in and out slowly and deliberately, his eyes bloodshot and everything about him screaming of horrible fatigue. For perhaps the first time ever Iridis found himself feeling sympathy for the troubled pony.

“Sunny?” He asked, slowly approaching the bed, looking into the earth pony’s eyes for any kind of recognition.

It took a while but eventually Sunny registered the presence in the room and looked up to meet Iridis’s gaze. Usually there was a hot stare of anger and distrust but this time there was only weariness.

“Iridis,” he croaked, shifting a little under the folds of the covers, “it hurts so much, so much.”

“What does?” asked Iridis, sitting down beside the bed, “what’s hurting Sunny?”

“My dreams, I can’t sleep, I feel so destroyed,” and he looked it too, face grizzled with the harsh etchings of sleep deprivation - a dark mask carved all around his eyes, “it’s too much Iridis, please, please help me…”

It was perhaps the first time he’d heard Sunny reach out for help, instead of taking whoever would listen on a self indulgent and draining journey that rarely lead to any positive conclusion. It was as though Sunny was suffering so much it had drained him of his ego, he had no strength to bully himself or play mind games, seemingly completely vacant and broken.

“Oh Sunny, I will help any way I can,” Iridis announced, his heart skipping a beat as a wave of sympathy washed over him. There was nothing he could do now for that first mare he ‘loved’, the one who had taken her own life; but there was still something he could do for Sunny. He felt guilty for having been so suspicious, “tell me what I can do?”

“Take it away,” came the reply, very distantly, almost as though it wasn’t Sunny’s voice at all. Iridis stepped back a moment. That voice had sounded different, “please take some of it away…”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he began, unclear what Sunny meant.

“Luna told me, told me that you might be able take away some of my pain,” Sunny elaborated, his voice croaky, “like the way you feed on love.”

Iridis was surprised by this and gasped, tilting his head and squinting through his bug like eyes. In truth he hadn’t considered this at all but it probably would work. In trying to draw love from Sunny he would draw some of the negative emotion too and perhaps that might actually give his suffering friend some temporary reprieve. It would be a little risky, but as long as he didn’t feed on too much at once it should be ok.

He was held back for a second or two by wondering whether it was ‘cheating’. Fluttershy had grown close to him partly because she had come to find the sensation pleasurable and soothing. There was no denying the sexual dimension to it, nor the delicious tension that had first built up between them over many months of ‘feeding’ sessions. Iridis came to the conclusion that it would be acceptable, the aim with Sunny was to try to suck some of the poison from him, as though venom from a wound. With some luck it wouldn’t go to an awkward place.

He could just feed for a moment or two. .A little voice urged caution inside and something very primitive within him cried out that something was wrong, but he ignored it.

“Alright,” he agreed, “we can give it a try, but just a little, it’s going to be a bit intense though. Just to warn you.”

Sunny nodded a bit and Iridis saw the merest hint of a smile, a slight upturn on one of the corners of the mouth that he took as an indication to carry on. Moving closer to the bed he stood to his hooves and opened his mouth wide, letting out the characteristic feral chattering that all changelings did when they prepared to feed.

Sunny gasped as a pool of light began to form upon his chest and he quickly threw back the covers in wonder and some small panic. Whereas normally with Fluttershy the vaporous manifestation of her love was a brilliant green, this time it was dark purple, black in places, deeply matte black so as to fool the eyes into perceiving no form.

Iridis looked with disgust on the black swirling tar, took a deep breath and then took a big gulp from the mixture. It felt like heartburn after he tried the first taste and it left a kind of bitter sensation around his head.

“Gah!” he exclaimed and coughed a little.

“Iridis!” Sunny exclaimed, his voice sounding louder now, “I feel… I feel lighter.”

“Do you think it’s working?” replied Iridis, breathing in and out so as to fight down the nausea.

“I think so…” and in the earth pony’s eyes there was a glimmer of hope that wasn’t there before. Something had shifted, as though finally a ray of light had penetrated his dark world.

“I’ll try to feed a little more from you…” Iridis responded, then steeling himself for what he knew would be an unpleasant second mouthful he closed his eyes and fed once more. After the third gulp he felt sick to his stomach and felt like he could not carry on, “that’s umm, uggh, probably all for now… by Celestia Sunny just how much anger did you have in you!?” he exclaimed, backing off a bit.

“A guess a lot,” Sunny replied but with a softness that Iridis had never heard in his voice. He looked so much more relaxed now, not fully by any means, but it was as though a weight had been lifted, “Iridis, I feel so much better, it’s not so bad.”

“Maybe this is what we needed to do…” replied Iridis, and sat down on his haunches, breathing hard, a little exhausted, “really really not much fun though.”

“I’m sorry….” Sunny began but Iridis interrupted him.

“No, that’s ok, it’s ok. Really!” the changeling replied, smiling himself, actually very proud that on his own he’d found a way to help Sunny. The glow of satisfied pride ignited within him along with with a dispersal of much of his remaining self doubt. The incident with Pinkie and Luna had made him worried about dispensing any ‘advice’ for a while, even though it did seem that everything would have been inevitable anyways. Right now though he didn’t have to counsel Sunny, simply be there to help him share his burden.

Sunny sat up in bed all of a sudden, and Iridis saw the stallion's eyes narrow into slits.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“No, everything is great, perfect! I couldn’t have asked for more from you Iridis,” Sunny said, with that same funny sounding voice as earlier, “in fact I think you need to feed more, why not take it all?”

“Huh?” Iridis puzzled, unsure what the change of tone meant, “not right now Sunny, but I’m sure we can….”

Suddenly Sunny’s eyes widened once more and he looked at his friend with a piercing gaze of pure terror, “Iridis! You need to RUN, now, it’s taking control… it’s…”

Iridis felt a swell of anger and hate like nothing he’d ever felt before as though the room were suddenly swollen to bursting like a wretched corpuscle. Without even the chance to cry out in surprise he found himself wrestled to the ground by Sunny, the two scuffled for a moment but he was pushed down by what felt like unnatural strength.

The darkness was pooling once again on Sunny’s chest, more bilious now, nasty and pungent. Iridis felt hooves cruelly force his mouth open and then moaned out in pain and horror as the vile mass of hate was forced into him. It felt like he was drowning, and he struggled desperately against the force atop him to no avail, trying to turn his head away. A dreadful panic set in as he found he could not escape, as he gagged and spluttered, bucking in futility and emitting dreadful sounds of choking and suffocation.

His body and belly swelled, breaking parts of his carapace, and green stuff oozed out of the fissures and dripped to the floor. It felt like it would never end, but eventually it did. Sunny released Iridis and backed off in horror, holding his hooves to his mouth and crying “what have you done?”

Iridis was now fat and pulsating like a grub, nearly three times his normal size, letting out a primal cry of terrible pain and despair from both the torture of his body and the agony of being filled with so much horrible emotion. He made a retching noise and then two black looking claws on slender arms erupted from his mouth, clasping and forcing his jaw open to aid their exodos.

In a final burst of violence everything inside Iridis emptied in a fast and terrible torrent, spewing forth in a powerful wave of dark glowing black; smashing its way through the roof of the house and shooting up to the sky like a wicked spire it started to take form.

Before unconsciousness overtook him Iridis caught a glimpse of the dark purple haze condense into the shape of a giant mare, while on its face bright apertures tore open into the shape of eyes. They looked down at him.

A powerful voice, sounding much like Luna’s boomed out across Sweet Apple Acres.

“I am the Tantabus, and I am free!”

“Iridis? Are you ok?” Applejack’s voice asked, sounding distant as though underwater.

With great effort the changeling opened his eyes. He felt broken and could barely move, only just able to make out the shapes of the Apple family standing over him and Sunny somewhere to the back, doubled over into a rocking foetal position.

“Applejack?” he asked, barely able to move.

“Easy sugarbug,” she said, and gently pushed his head back down to prevent him straining himself.

“What happened? What happened to me, oh shit, oh shit…” Iridis looked down over his belly and saw the carapace cracked in many places, he could see parts of himself spilling out and luminous green fluids soaking the carpet all around him. He let out a terrible cry of fear as he saw his chest rise and fall widening and narrowing the cracks through which he could clearly see his own heart beating. A voice caught his attention.

“It’s all my fault….” Sunny moaned, his face wet, “it’s my fault, Iridis I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he collapsed on the floor and reached out to touch the changeling’s hoof with his own. He said nothing else for a while and just wept as Iridis breathed in and out in a state of catatonic fear.

Applejack eventually broke the silence, sounding earnest and unsure, “sugarbug we sent Big Mac off to find someone to help, the Doctor or Twilight or something. I don’t know what’s going on though, it looks to me like that Tantabus thing is back, but this time it’s in the real world. I don’t know when they’ll be back, you gotta tell us how to fix you…”

“Yeah Iridis, tell us what to do…” Applebloom chimed in bravely, but unsteady on her legs. It was difficult to look at how badly injured her friend was without wanting to throw up, either in terror or despair.

“Oh fuck, oh shit, ok…” Iridis moaned, trying to focus, knowing his life depended on conveying how best he could be helped, “Ok, umm, you gotta get some glue, tape, something, get all my stuff back inside, and bind me up, then wrap me up in something, like a cocoon, oh fuck, oh Celestia, I don’t want to die…” he looked up into Applejack’s eyes with a desperation, “where’s Fluttershy, where’s Fluttershy…”

“He’s not gonna be making much sense anymore, that I do say!” Granny Smith announced, shaking her head, seeing Iridis slip into incoherency, “alright, you heard him, let’s get what we need and get to it! Sunny, Applebloom stay with him, Applejack, come help me!”

“Ok… sure, no problem” Applebloom announced bravely, but still feeling terribly queasy and frightened.

Iridis felt himself slip in and out of consciousness a few times, only picking up fragments of what was going on around him. Occasionally a sharp pang of pain would jolt him into awareness as he saw Applejack and Granny Smith following his instructions. Occasionally he heard a retch of disgust and saw one fleeting and awful glimpse of a horrified Applejack trying to get a hoof full of his intestines back inside him.

Slowly though he started to feel tighter, warmer, and more secure until he was able to hold his eyes open, still dazed but sufficiently composed to start to ask what was going on. He noticed Sunny was no longer there, but Granny Smith and Applebloom were standing vigil.

“Welcome back bug,” crooned the old pony, “didn’t know you were going to make it, we did what you said, you’re all snug up now.”

It was indeed true and Iridis relaxed a little as he felt the tightness of sheets wrapped around him. He no longer felt he might fall apart at any moment, but everything still hurt horribly.

“Where’s Fluttershy, is she ok?” was the first thing he asked.
Applebloom and Granny Smith looked at each other, unsure how to answer. Big Mac was also there too, apparently having not been able to return with any help.

“Please..” he insisted.

“She was saving all her critters, getting them evacuated, then she’s coming over here, she knows where you are,” Big Mac explained, “she’s not part of the battle. Sunny’s ok too, he’s downstairs.”

A rumble came from outside, then a series of explosive sounding stocattos - followed by their ghostly echoes - as noises of violence spread out across the hills. He looked up and saw the night sky, or at least darkness above him through the rupture the Tantabus had carved in the Apple family home.

No stars.

Only black.

“What’s that sound?” he mumbled, weakly.

“Discord and Twilight and some others are fighting that monster!” explained Granny Smith, “ain’t going too well though as far as Big Mac says it.”

“What? UHHHHHHHHHH!” Iridis strained against the bindings as a tremor of pain moved along his right side like a wave, “ahhh, but wait what, Discord and Twilight are powerful enough, surely… Discord alone could probably…. UHHHHHH!” he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“Easy…” Big Mac said, concerned and gently stroked the makeshift cocoon, “I don’t know why, I just know it ain’t going well. Just wait till Fluttershy arrives, ok, save your strength.”

“That, that won’t be enough…” Iridis whispered, “I hate to uhh ask this of you, but I need your love, all of you… It’s not enough to bind my body…”

“Take mine!” a voice boomed from beside him, and it was Sunny who was standing in the door.

“I can’t take yours…” Iridis gasped weakly, then paused for a moment. Everything he felt coming from Sunny was different: well, perhaps not completely different. He could feel a sting there, like bile, but there was something else. Something so dazzling and pure. He wasn’t sure for a moment exactly where this love was directed but then he saw it, “Applebloom? Your love is for Applebloom?” he gasped, surprised.

Sunny turned to look down at the filly, and she turned her scared little eyes to look back up at him, “You’re the only one I’ve ever felt I could talk with. You’re the first one I felt love for in a way that I wasn’t ashamed of. And now because of me… you’re in danger, you’re all in danger… please Iridis, take it…”

“Oh Sunny, I love ya too!” Applebloom replied nestling herself into his coat.

Sunny approached Apple Bloom and he lowered himself to match her size, they embraced and both fought back tears. Iridis looked at the two and it was as though a connection sparked inside his mind. The void surrounding Sunny’s dream, the Tantabus, Luna’s strange reaction to Pinkie Pie all the training he’d received. Now finally everything came together like a puzzle. He knew what he needed to do, and what needed to happen.

Applejack looked on and smiled, very proud of her younger sister, “should’a known it’d be you sugarcube who got through to him, for sure I know I couldn’t have.”

“Sunny, come to me,” Iridis commanded, quietly, “the rest of you, can you please wait downstairs, I ummmm, something is about to happen here I think… it’s needs to be just the two of us.”

“You sure sugarbug?” Applejack asked.

“Yes, there is much we need to ahhhhhH! Much we need to do Sunny, and there isn’t much time””

“You’re going to see it all aren’t you?” Sunny replied, shaking a bit, “I won’t be able to hide from you will I?

“No” Iridis replied, his voice suddenly taking on a foreboding mysterious quality, “it’s going to hurt Sunny. I don’t know you’re quite ready to do it for yourself, but can you do it for Applebloom and for all of us?”

“Yes, I’m ready,” Sunny agreed, trembling a bit and biting his lip, as the rest of the ponies slowly made their way out, “let us begin.”