Welcome to Equestria boys
2.First the bad things then the good things.2
Previous ChapterOur two heroes were like brothers. Pipsqueak was on shoulders of a god of death and the god of death told him a Christmas story.
''Then I went down into a chimney and I gave the gift to a silly girl but she was nice with everybody in my world then her friends called the police...Yep, that was a fucking good Xmas and you, what happened to you?'' Jack asked. The boy thought about his life but he found nothing.
''Sorry mister Thanatos but I never get into trouble, I am a wise boy, well educated who opens the doors for the ladies and I respects every pony in this magnificent world. My parents love me and I love them.''Jack regretted his question because pipsqueak life was boring as hell.
''Kid '' Jack said.
''Yeah lord of the death.'' Pipsqueak replied.
''Call me jack and your life is boring .'' They continued to walk then pipsqueak saw the roof of the castle.
''We arrived.'' Said pipsqueak, Jack threw Pipsqueak to the ground and he ran to see the castles more closely, He arrived at the top of the world and his smile disappeared off his face. He wanted to see a castle and not a tower surrounded by walls.
''Pipsqueak, What the hell is that?'' Pipsqueak appeared with several cuts all over his body, he looked at Jack, he seemed upset
''What's wrong?'' Pipsqueak asked. Jack looked angry at him.
''What's wrong?WHAT'S WRONG...What the hell is this shit over there jack Sparrow?'' Pipsqueak looked at the castle who sparkled in his eternal glory. He shed a tear of happiness.
''It's the castle of my beloved Princess, Luna.'' Jack was disappointed with this world. He wanted to die so hard right now.
''Pip...This castle ... suck, in my world, we have castles a thousand times better than THIS SH...Wait, a princess, a real princess with a crown and diamonds, a lot of diamonds.'' Pipsqueak Shook his head from top to bottom. We could see the sign of dollars in the eyes of jack.
''Oh fuck...OH FUCK, OH FUCK...I'M GONNA BE SO FUCKING RICH!!!!'' Jack put on his helmet and his spear on his back and he ran to the town while abandoning pipsqueak.
''Bye Jack.''He watched his friend leave then he heard the bell of the ice cream truck ring.''Yeah, ice cream.'' He jumped with the sun in front of him with a rainbow of happiness. gods bless this kid. Jack pass the bridge with determination and he entered the city, she was magnificent, lively and peaceful. He took a step and he sniffed the pure air of this sumptuous city.
''Oh! I'm touching myself tonight.''He saw a mother cover her child's ears. Jack looked in front of him and said.
''Groovy!'' He put on his headphones and he sank to the sound of music. he took his spear as a microphone and he sang with his heart.
Jack felt his body go forward, every step he made was a step in the universe. He saw the stars above him dancing with the milky way, the sun and the moon were with him then he climbed on the back of a unicorn with wings and together, they surf on sunbeams with a towel that aspire a bottle of office cleaner. They were happy then a black hole appeared and Jack decided to go in with his friends, he took his spear and he headed toward the black hole with a smile on his face and tears of joy on his cheeks.
The music was over and Jack has his spear towards the sky. Jack was smiling then he heard laughs coming from the city dwellers, they laughed at him, the men laughed openly and the woman had a hand in front of their mouth. Jack looked at them without understanding why then a man stood before him. He was wearing a white suit with a blue bow tie, a red rose on his jacket and he had long blond hair. He was accompanied by a group of noble seen their clothes. He laughed mockingly, he put his hand on the shoulder of jack. He was much taller than jack. Jack measured 1m80 and him, 2m10. He approached his face and said.
"For a guard, you're rather small and noisy, look at you, you cover yourself with shame with your stupid dance. Am I right or not
my friend.'' His friends laughed. ''He would make an excellent jester! You would be at my service clown.'' Jack was shocked, he stepped back and looked at the nobles in the eyes.
''You...You made me see the truth, I would be at your service master.''The asshole smiled.
''You understand quickly jester and call me MASTER Blueblood.'' Jack Smiled like a clown.
''Yes master But you got something on your face. '' Jack said.
''What?'' He took a punch.
''It's was pain !'' Blueblood was on his knees and he took another punch, he tried to stand up but jack gave him a kick in the face. He was down and Jack exploded his nose with his helmet. His nose was broken and there was blood on Jack's helmet. Nobody moved and then Jack removed his helmet and he shouted like a beast. After that, he looked at the others and they fled like rabbits. There was no one in the street except the guy on the ground, he looked at him and he had a diabolical idea, he undressed him and he took him with him.
''No one insult Mika BITCH!'' Jack finally arrived in front of the castle doors, there were two guards at the entrance. They hid behind a tree, he looked at him and he saw his blood.
''Call me a doctor Because it's a bloody good plan .'' He took his hostage and he walked to the castles. The guards remained motionless so Jack began to shout with all his might.
''HELP US PLEASE!!!'' The guards came to see the two men.
''What happens, the prince is hurt?'' Said the first guard, Jack looked him in the eye and he told him a lie.
''We were walking and suddenly an unknown wild creature attacked us, she was fast, powerful and extremely seductive, her body was like a hard and big mountain. Good god, I make wet dreams every night.'' The guards looked at him strangely then the second guard spoke to him.
''Well...Thanks for the ... details, you should go back to rest in the barracks, it would be better for everyone.'' The other guard also approved.
''Yes Sir!'' Jack was like a kid with a new toy because he loved when a plan works as expected, he crossed the door and he could already feel the diamonds around his neck. He walked as fast as possible but one of the guards spoke to him.
''Wait? You were attacked by a beast that's right?'' Jack looked at him with fear.
''Yes, she was quick and...strong.'' Jack was screwed.
''Then tell me why his nose is broken and why there is blood on your armor.'' The guards began to take out their sword, Jack looked at them with empty eyes then he tried to say something.
''Well...The beast caught him by the leg and...oh fuck it.'' The first guard took out his sword, but Jack threw his helmet at him and he hit him in the face, putting him down. The second guard stuck him against the wall and he hit him in the stomach, Jack tried to struggle but the guard was too strong He threw him on the ground and he tried to hit the jack with his sword, but he dodged all his blows, Jack kicked him in the face And he rushed at him and he beat him on the ground, Then the other guard took his sword with both hands and he rushed to jack, he was going to kill him but Jack used the guard as a human shield, he hit him in the back and blood spurted from his wound, blinding him, Jack took his sword and he tried to strike the guard with it. The fight was hard but Jack took the advantage. He disarmed the guard and he stabbed him on the legs and on the arms, he kicked him in the belly, he fell back. He wanted to stand up but Jack put his sword on his throat, he looked at him and he knocked him with the handle. He looked at the guards then he saw blueblood waked up, he approached him and said.
''Sorry not sorry.'' He hit him on the head then he left them unconscious on the ground. Jack explored the castle from top to bottom and he had a revelation ... Everything looks alike in this fucking castle. He opened a door and the room was empty, he opened another door and the room was empty. He started to go crazy, he opened all the doors continuously and They were all empty. He can not bear it anymore. He opened all the doors except one, she was at the bottom of the corridor, he was exhausted, he began to crawl but he no longer had the strength to continue, he raised his hand to her and he collapsed on the ground, dead.
''Alright, I stop my crap.'' He got up and he opened the door but there was no princess and no crown engraved with diamonds only a room with a table and chairs. Jack was calm, he took a deep breath and he cracked. ''YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!'' He took a chair and he began to destroy everythings. The bed, the table and even the others chairs. Everything was in pieces but he was still pissed. He looked at the wall in front of him and that pissed him off.
''STOP MOCKING ME!!!'' He hit the wall and he disappeared in sparkle and Jack fell on the ground. He sat up and he saw a secret door. Jack was tired of all this shit. He put his hand on the handle and he turned it.
''I swear to god if this room is empty, I'm gonna burn this castle with my d...'' Jack was silent because he was in the trophy room.He was surrounded by dozens of scepters, several swords, armors of all ages and most importantly, crowns.
''good god!''
Jack took everything he could. He removed his armor and he removed his shirt to make a bag, he filled his pockets with gold, He placed several swords at his belt, he put several necklaces around his neck and enormous rings adorned his fingers. He lay down on the floor and he laughed. He saw his life passed in front of his eyes, he saw all the humiliating moments of his life. His first classes with his brother when he had said mamma to the mistress, the time where he dating the girl he liked and she humiliated him by putting a pig in her place or even at the party of rainbow. He saw all this moment pass in front of him but he don't give a fuck because now everyone thinks he's dead. Jack was happy at last.
''Come.'' Said a sinister voice. Jack stood up quickly and he took the form of a coat hanger.
''I'm not an intruder, I'm just a simple coat hanger who loves life and flowers.'' Nothing happened then the voice spoke again.
''Come, come to me.'' Jack advanced deeply into the abyss to find himself in front of a cabinet filled with various objects. A blue marine helmet with an opening on the forehead, another green helmet with yellow eyes, a piece of gray horn and a broken glasses. All these objects were war trophies that have been snatched from the hands of the worst foes that Equestria has never fought. All these objects were like invisible to Jack because his glance was posted on a relic much more important. This relic was dark, corrupted by the shadow of the past, this Relic belonged to a mad king who wore it as a crown. She was gray with spike on the sides, we could feel the hatred of her wearer towards the others. It was the crown of king Sombra.
''Holy moly! Unknown universe, prepare to die! '' Jack opened the window, he took the crown and he began to change. Horns began to grow on his forehead, his arms began to become black and pointed, his eyes became purple and the shadows formed a cape in his back. He was going to put her on his head but he heard gun shots. He stopped and he looked at the crown with sadness.
'' Sorry love, You will be on my head when everything will be calm and in ashes.'' He put the crown back in his place and he left.
''No! wait! Come back! Come back you little...Aww fuck!'' The crown said. Jack was in a corridor filled with pictures and vases. He had to be discreet, he did not want to meet other guards. He looked around every corner to see if there were any bad guys. He was a ninja, silent but deadly. The only problem was that I was not a ninja, so the discretion was non-existent. He walks while dropping as many objects as possible because they were ugly.The shots became louder and louder and the corridor became dark with very little light. Jack surely approach the source, he leaned against the wall and saw two guards guarding a staircase, they were different, their armor was dark blue and they had bat wings.
''OK handsome, there are two vampire guards, they are like the other guards but they are dark and terrifying. I have to find their weakness.'' Jack took his cellphone and he turned it on but it was in torch mode and that blinded him'' Shit my eyes, that burn!'' He put his hand on his eyes and he had a bright idea. The guards were always in front of the stairs so Jack took his courage in both hands and he went in front of the guards and they threatened him without asking any questions.
''Fear the bite of the sun bitches!!!'' He blinded them with the flashlight and he strikes them at their weak spot, their testicles. They were on the ground and Jack took the stairs that will take him to the pantheon of the gods.Jack was standing in front of a door with a crescent moon on her. The noise came from that same door, he opened it to find himself in a room. It was dark and cold, the bed was a king size bed and in front of it, there was a mirror with several makeup boxes. Jack was once again disappointed as there was no princess.
''DIE YOU NOOB!!!'' Jack was surprised by the cry, he came from the door at the bottom, he opened it and he saw the back of a woman. He approached her and saw that she played video game who just look like halo. She kills everyone and she humiliates them by making the tea bag but she does it at the feet of the players and not the head. She was in pantie with a blue shirt that said blame my sister. Her hair was blue and shiny
''Nice.'' Jack Said.
''Thank.'' Answered blue, she continued to play then she paused her game and she turned her head to see her guest.They looked at each other and she began to scream.
''AHHHHHHHH'' Jack also yelled.
''AHHHHHHHH'' She threw her joystick on the intruder but he dodged it.
''EH! What wrong's with you?" Jack asked.
''Who are you?''
''Ok First off hello and you who are you?'' She presented herself.
''I'm luna, ruler of Equestria and you are in my room so GO AWAY or I call the guards.'' She started to get excited.
''I am Jack carver and I am a fucking king so according to social order, I am superior to you. Boom take that in your pretty little face.'' Luna began to blush.
''You think I'm pretty?'' Jack Responded spontaneously.
''Yeah you pretty and you like video game just like me but damn, you don't know how to make the tea bag, every player can do it but no you.'' Luna began to cry.
''why do you cry?'' Jack asked.
''Sniff, You said I could not do anything and you think I'm a stupid girl with a stupid name!'' Jack was In deep shit.
''No please don't cry, i hate when cute girl cry.'' Luna looked at him.
''You think I'm cute too.''
''No I mean yes!'' She began to cry again.
''Alright Jack you lose as always. '' Luna spoke to him.
''Sniff, you know, I also lose and it's often.''
''Really, like what?'' Luna told him her story, Jack was flattered by her action.
''Wow, I realize we're not that different, I have a brother and I do my best to be the perfect brother but I'm not good enough.'' Luna approved. Jack took his necklace and he looked at it.
''You see, I won this necklace at a video game contest, It's one of the few things I've won. Take it.'' Luna took the collar in his hands.
''Thank but why?'' Luna asked.
''Because you won my heart.'' Luna put it around her neck and she thanked Jack.
''Thank. '' Luna said.
''You're welcome m'lady. '' Jack replied by greeted her with his imaginary hat.
They looked at each other and then they stopped smiling and they kissed.
Meanwhile, at the hospital.
Everyone was shocked by the way he detailed his brother. He describes him as a sick man who wants to see the world burn.
''He's not an angel but he is not as crazy as discord right?'' Twilight asked.
''Once, he wanted to kill the parents of a girl like Fluttershy and make her eat them in front of everyone. I reassure you, he failed.'' Everypony sighed. '' He killed her rabbit and he prepared it in chilis and she ate it in front of everyone.'' Fluttershy throws up.
''Yeah, it's romantic.'' Celestia looked out the window and she asked Alexander a question.
''Alexander, do you have any idea where you're brother could be.''
''I have no idea, usually when he gets lost, he tries to find the tallest building to find out where he is....Wait you are princes's right?'' Celestia shook her head.
''Who says princess, says castle and who says castle...says king.'' He got out of his bed and he dressed up. The girls observed the show while whistling
''Princess, my brother will certainly enter your castle, we must stop him!'' Celestia smile.
''Girls, are your ready!'' Applejack sighed.
''Not again sugar cube.''
''Ready? Ready for what princess?'' Alexander asked. Celestia smiled.
''For this.'' Her horn began to shine and a second later, they all disappeared. It was like traveling in light speed for Alexander, they were in a blue ray with several stars. they found themselves In front of the bridge, Applejack ran to the river to vomit.
''That's why I do not like teleportation!'' Alex approached Applejack to comfort her.
''Better outside than inside sugar.'' She smiled but twilight was still complaining about her master.
''Sweet, first we find ourselves in front of a bridge and not in the castles and now the cowgirl is sick, wow thank Celestia.'' Rainbow has had enough, she advanced towards her but Fluttershy restraint her. She looked at her with a nasty look but it was Fluttershy the nastiest so she stopped.
''Come twilight, smile at life and at the end, we will party with our new guests.'' Pinkie said with a pink balloon in her hand. Twilight looked at her and she exploded her balloon with her horn. After that, her hair was stiff and sad.
''What's wrong Pinkie? You're gonna cry hahaha hahaha !!! '' Celestia slapped her student. Everyone was shocked by this act, Twilight had tears in her eyes.
''Now you're gonna listen to me Twilight Sparkle. You will be kind to others because they are friends and friendship is magic, so stop complaining otherwise I would give you a good reason to complain. Do you understand.'' She shook her head.
''Good Now we must find your brother Alex...Alex, are you listening to me?'' Alexander ignored her because he was focused on a foal that spoke with several other women. He was confident and they seemed to enjoy it.
''I know that boy, that's Pipsqueak.'' Alex looked at rarity because he knew nothing.
''It's an adorable little foal who often comes to my shop for his pirate costume, I often dream of him because he is too cute.'' All the girls agreed on this.
'' Why my sister and not me?'' Celestia said. They all made a huge hug to Celestia except twilight.
''Wait...Where Alex?'' he went to see the most interesting foal in the world.
''I don't always talk with women but I do, It is with my heart.'' All the women around him had hearts in their eyes.
''Excuse me for the inconvenience but do know you my brother by the biggest chance.'' Pipsqueak looked at him and he jumped into his arms.
''Jack! You're back so that mean that you have found the princess.'' Alexander was petrified by this revelation, just like Celestia.'' I said something wrong?'' Alex turned to Celestia, she was silent. He touched the tip of her nose and she shouted with eyes of fire.
''well he's doom.'' She advanced towards the castle and she left behind her traces of hoofs on fire. The others and Pipsqueak followed her. Alexander was right, jack is dangerous, the more they advanced, the more they saw the madness of jack and the more important, Celestia started to transform into something else, something powerful and terrifying. First, Her guards were unconscious on the ground with her filthy nephew, His hands were on fire. Then the discovery of the trophy room, her cutie mark turned red. The devastation of paintings and other vases offered by the other kingdoms, two satyr horns appeared on her forehead but the worst was to come, they were all in front of Luna's room, she turned the handle and she saw the impossible, her naked sister with a stranger from another world who is also naked.
''Eh closed the door, we went started...Oh hi Alexander,you're alive and you came with others peoples but I'm not very hot for a plan with several peoples and there's a kid here so no...Ok, maybe he can watch and learned something.'' Alexander made his prayer and the hair of Celestia was on fire. ''Nice hair.'' Said Jack smiling, her eyes were red like a demon.
Jack stopped smiling, he barely raised his finger and Celestia threw a magic flash that sent him into the other room, bursting the wall as he passed.
''SISTER NOOOO!!!!'' Luna tried to stop her but it was useless, she was unstoppable. Jack was in the rubble, he was half dead. Celestia took him by the neck and she pressed him.
''Any last words human!'' blood flowed from his forehead, he looked into her eyes and he spat blood on her face. She took a drop of blood and she tasted it.'' hmph salty.'' She strangled him harder. '' Goodbye.'' She unfurled her claws, Alexander did not know what to do, he was afraid. For him, his brother is a selfish asshole who thinks he's great and that everyone is nothing but a piece of crap but ... He loves his brother. He looked around and he took a chair.
'' I live for this shit Aaah hh hh!!!'' He burst the chair on Celestia's skull, he had the broken pieces of the chair in his hands. Celestia looked away from Jack and she looked at Alexander. He was in front of her and he raised his arms in the air to fight. '' Bring it, princess.'' She threw jack on him with all her strength, They were dead, Jack was on the legs of his brother, unconscious. Alexander raised his head but he was stunned by Celestia.
The dungeon of the castle
Alexander was lying on the floor, he was still asleep but his brother woke him up. He hit the bars with a spoon.
''I want my phone call and my hat...Oh hi Alex, slept well?'' Alexander put his brother on the ground and he began to beat him violently.
''I FUCKING HATE YOU RIGHT NOW ASSHOLE!!! '' Alexander yelled.
''WHAT DID I DO WRONG!!!'' Jack replied.
''YOU STOLE A CAR WHO SENT US INTO ANOTHER WORLD, WE FOUGHT AGAINST A CHIMERA, WE WON BUT WE ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL.YOU ESCAPED AND YOU BEAT UP A GUARD AND YOU STOLE HIS ARMOR, YOU FRIGHTENED EVERYONE AND YOU KIDNAPPED A CHILD!!!''
''Pipsqueak.''
''SHUP UP LET ME FINISH! YOU BROKE THE NOSE OF THE NEPHEW OF THE PRINCESS, YOU DISCOVERED THE TREASURY ROOM OF THE CASTLE AND YOU STOLE EVERYTHING, YOU DESTROYED RARE AND UNIQUE PAINTS AND OTHERS GREAT OBJECTS AND YOU BLINDED THE PERSONAL GUARDS OF LUNA, THE LITTLE SISTER OF THE PRINCESS AND YOU ALMOST MAKE LOVE WITH HER IN FRONT OF HER FUCKING SISTER, THE RULER OF THIS FUCKING NATION AND NOW...WE ARE IN JAIL BECAUSE OF YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!'' Alexander began to cry.
''I wanted a dog god and you gave me a brother like this, why god why?!'' Jack was sad for his brother.
''You're jealous because I kissed a princess.'' Alexander looked at his brother with hate.
''I'm gonna kill you.''
''No you're not Alexander carver.'' They turned their heads and they saw Celestia and Luna accompanied by two guards.
''Luna my love.'' Jack approached her but she pushed him away.''What's wrong my love, you don't love me anymore.'' Luna answered his question.
'' No, I don't love you! You abused me while I was weak and defenseless and for that, you deserved your fate.'' Jack was Death inside.
''Fate? what do you mean by fate?'' Alexander asked.
''Tomorrow at the first hour, You will be publicly executed for your crimes against the kingdom, may the gods forgive you.'' They left except one guard who looked at Alexander, she was cute. Alexander looked at her And he smiles at her. She smiled back and her eyes turned blue. Alexander was so surprised, that he fell on the ground, She joined the others while laughing with a laugh of a girl in love.
''Well, at least we're going to die together as a family.'' Jack was sad but he kept smiling.
''It was an honor to live with you.'' They began to cry and they made a last fraternal hug then Luna came back.
''Sorry to interrupt you but I have to talk to jack.'' Alexander approached her even if he didn't want to.
"What do you want?! You want his heart with the rest of his feeling to destroy them!'' Alexander was rude but he was in his right.
''No...I...Celestia forced me to say these words to your brother. I love him.'' Jack pushed his brother and he spoke to his beloved Luna.
''So everything you told me was wrong.''
''Yes my love, It's the fault of my sister!''
''What a bitch!'' Jack said.
''Yeah, she's a bitch. '' Alexander said.
''Eh, You're talking about my sister human freak!'' She said to Alexander.
''But I admit, she's a bitch!'' Luna said.
''Oh kiss me, baby.'' They kissed each other like the first day...Violently and without shame.
''You can get us out of here?" Alexander said, Luna stopped, she removed her lips from jack and She remained silent.
''...So?'' Alexander said.
''No.'' Alexander was tired of this shit.
''WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NO!!!'' Luna cried.
''IT'S MEANS THAT YOU CAN NOY BE SAVED...I'm sorry.'' She collapsed on the floor, just like Alexander. Jack took her hand and he kissed her.
''Don't cry, I hate to see pretty girls cried. I want you to know that the moments I have lived with you are the most beautiful moments in my life Luna. You looked at me as the person I was and not a monster'' He looked at his brother.'' I'll see you again, in this life or the next. My heart's a stereo, it beats for you, so listen close, hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te, make me your radio and turn me up when you feel low, this melody was meant for you, just sing along to my stereo.'' He kissed her one last time.
'' now go, live your life Luna and do not look back.'' She smiled at him in tears and then she went off to her future.
''Ahhh...I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick.'' Alexander began to cry.
Badlands, in an underground cave
Everything was dark and damp. A royal guard was escorted by two black creature with blue eyes. She advanced on a bridge, then she knelt before a throne and she disappeared in a whirlwind of green flames to show her true face. She was black with blue eyes, just like her wings. Her armor was dark blue with cracks everywhere.
''My queen, forgive my failure. I did not manage to kill Celestia but I found two unexpected allies. They are creatures from another world, they are violent, fast and intelligent. I saw the damage that only one of these creatures could do and it was terrifying. They are powerful like Celestia and surely more powerful than starswirl the bearded himself, with them at our side, Equestria will be yours. You have their fate in your hands, my queen.''
The queen was silent, her body was hidden in the shade. She rose and she approached her guard. She was dark and her legs and arms were covered with holes. She wore a black and blue Japanese dress. She was in front of her guard, she looked at her with her green eyes and she began to smile.
The end
