My New Life

Hey everyone! My name is Andrew. Andrew Gerald Lang, if you want to know the full thing. I live in a small town in Washington. Just the state, though, not D.C. Anyways, this is my story about how I got transported to Equestria! Fun, right? Not really. You see, yes, I am a brony, and yes, back in tenth grade, three years before this story starts, I did used to be a depressed little bitch who had a crush on Rainbow Dash, a depressed bitch who cut himself, clopped nightly, sometimes several times a night, and who's big dream was to get sent to the land of magical talking horses. As I learned the hard way, you should always be careful what you wish for, though, because my wish was granted in the worst way possible- and THREE YEARS after I was done with all of that bullshit. I learned to get my shit together, turn my life around, see the world as a beautiful place, get a beautiful girlfriend, and just kill that disgusting past self of mine. It was, of course, right when my life was going so well that the shit hit the fan. It all happened on the day I was supposed to take a flight back to Colorado to visit some relatives that lived there. Let me take you back to the start of that day, and it is there I will begin my story...

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It was several weeks into summer vacation and I had never been happier. I had graduated high school, managed to get two part-time jobs that didn't exactly pay the best, but paid enough to get me by, and by that, I meant I earned enough to pay the one-hundred dollar rent that my parents required me to pay to stay living at their house, until I could save up enough money to move out on my own.