The lost man

As i awoke from a real good rest just yesterday i got up and put spilled beer in my cereal thinking it was milk and then enjoying it but now i'm in a world of colorful ponies with ass tattoos and they have a princess and unicorns and pegasus this is crazy. As i was thinking the door slammed open 6 ponies walked in 2 unicorns 2 pegasus 2 normal ponies one with a orange coat and a hat thats so cute thank god i didn't say that out loud. A lavender unicorn came to my left side saying hello my name is Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends Applejack,Rarity,Pinkie Pie,Rainbow Dash,Fluttershy. What is your name might I ask well i'm Kole how many fucking times did I introduce myself I mumbled under my breath what was that the white unicorn said i think she's rarity. Oh nothing ok well were hear to talk to you and leave this hospital maybe somewhere more suitable then this small room. Ok lets start I said well the first thing is are you dangerous or evil the high pitched pink pony said. No i'm not fucking evil and dangerous I get in a fight or two thats it well do you eat ponies the pink pony said oh for fuck sake i don't eat ponies I eat meat like chicken,cow or pig.Oh my I hear from the back of the herd a bright yellow pony said in a loud whisper did I say something. No Its just we ponies don't eat meat oh right your magical talking ponies. Well thats it i guess well you get ready to leave. Ok whatever floats your boat or sinks it ok well be outside the door come out when your ready. Well I guess no one in this weird crazy fucking bright colorful world has no since of humor I got my leather jacket and shoes and my hat on I found them on the end of my bed I checked my coat pocket my phone my glasses and earphones and mp3 player. As I walked through the door I over herd the 6 ponies where are we going to keep this thing my barn always got room the orange southern pony said ohhh Kole are you all set the lavender pony asked yes i'm set but lets get one thing straight i'm not a thing i'm not a fucking monster from the pit of hell i'm called a human or you could use my name Please. Sorry Kole we didn't mean to defend you, yea dude we didn't mean anything by it a cyan pegasus said with her raspy voice. Ok just use my fucking name please and can we go before i lose more of my mind and does this planet have beer whiskey or evan a glass of whine  well we do indeed rarity said good i need a glass of something as we headed out of the the big white building holy shit its bright out hear. Well yea its only 3:00 celestia sun is the joy in the sky what the hell is a celestia. Are princess the sun god she watches over Equestria and its ponies. So they have another princess one for the sun and one for the night well I do love the night and i'm princess celestia's star pupil the lavender pony said wow your special I said with a sarcastic tone well thank you twilight said with graceful tone. I hate my life or after life whatever so where are we going I asked well were going to are town in ponyville . Well great how long will are trip take and do you guys know where a bathroom is at. You know how to use a toilet the cyan pegasus asked well no shit sherlock I thought in my mind yes rainbow dash I know how to piss and shit then wipe my irish ass and flush the toilet. You don't have to be so verbal i'm so sorry but can we go now (45 minutes). I'm so bored I said out loud its about 39 more minutes i pulled out my mp3 player what is that twilight asked its called a mp3 player we humans use it to pass tim by listening to music wow i heard behind me yea wow do you ponies not have a tv or music players wed do rarity but nothing compared to that she said. Kole how old are you Futtershy shyly asked I'm 19 why oh well i'm just curious oh I see this is the slowest fairy boat ride ever I put in my earphones and turned it all the way up listening to the rumjacks make me think of home I fell asleep in my trance I saw images of when I was young my mother getting sick she was pale and skinny then I saw my father hang myself and then me all the thing i've done a bright light hit me I woke up are you ok twilight said yea why dude you were talking and turning in your sleep oh sorry guys guess its just been the longest two day in my life as we made it down the dirt road little village houses on the left and right a tiny little food market a apple orchard a barn and is that a tree house not your everyday child's tree house its a house in a tree with a sign on it of a opened book must be a library of some sort hey they might have playboy wait playcolt playstalion oh screw it you will sleep in the library cellar ok sure I said well this will be a fun night. As I got comfy and scared from a dragoon that I almost kicked in the face but it didn't attack on sight and the lavender unicorn said its name is spike and its her number one helper and how great he is so she showed me the cellar I locked it just incase they come in here while i'm asleep to kill me or rape me actually  i'd be fine with that maybe it's a bit fucked up being i'm being fucked by little colorful horses ehh it could be worst like being fucked sober ugh can't evan imagine as I feel asleep I thought to myself how these six are different then the ones I first met their not screaming my lungs out huh I wonder do theses ponies have any smokes nothing high price just a pack of cigarettes wait do they take cash but then again I need my wallet if they do and thats on my other body they better burn me like I wanted with the song from irish cop but who fucking cares (8 hours go by) and i'm awoken from the sound of hove's pounding on the small wooden door what the fuck ya'll want i'm trying to sleep Kole its 3:47 in the afternoon how long do humans sleep twilight asked well around fuck and off I yelled at her with a sore throat come on dude a raspy voice came on the over side of the door fine give me 20 bloody minutes no more voices came from the door as I got up I then hit my head on the old wooden stairs damnit I hate my life fuck my clumsiness. Is every thing alright in there twilight said yea I just fell do you need bandages a quiet voice said Fluttershy is even here no i'm fine I said with the metallic taste of blood dripping from my forehead as I got up a bit dizzy I unlocked the pull lock and walked out and then a huge *GASP* oh sweet celestia the white unicorn said the white unicorn